1. Is this what you're
looking for, Kyle?Copy !req
2. No, I don't
think so.Copy !req
3. How about this?Copy !req
4. No, that's a
hair dryer!Copy !req
5. Can I help you
find something?Copy !req
6. Yeah, do you
have any "ne-rections"?Copy !req
7. Any what?Copy !req
8. I need to get
a ne-rection for my dad.Copy !req
9. Very funny boys,
go on, beat it!Copy !req
10. Why is
that funny?Copy !req
11. Dude, my mom and dad
keep fighting all the time.Copy !req
12. And it's 'cause my dad
doesn't have a ne-rection.Copy !req
13. So I wanna
get him one!Copy !req
14. Dammit, what the hell
is wrong with everybody?Copy !req
15. That's the 5th store
we've been kicked out of.Copy !req
16. Why is it so hard
to get a ne-rection?Copy !req
17. I just want a ne-rection
so I can give it to my mom.
- What?Copy !req
18. Where you gonna go, Kenny
to see your girlfriend, again?Copy !req
19. You spend way too much
time with that girl—Copy !req
20. Oh my God,
they killed Kenny!Copy !req
21. You bastards!Copy !req
22. What the hell
happened to him?Copy !req
23. He just...
ignited!Copy !req
24. What happened?Copy !req
25. I saw it from
across the street.Copy !req
26. He just
caught on fire!Copy !req
27. Okay people,
stand back,Copy !req
28. give the little burnt boy
some breathing room.Copy !req
29. I've heard about this, this is
"spontaneous combustion"!Copy !req
30. But it usually happens to fat
people near open flames!Copy !req
31. Is it
contagious?Copy !req
32. Am I going to
spontaneously
combust?Copy !req
33. I hope nothing
happens to me.Copy !req
34. This is
very scary!Copy !req
35. The people are panicking
about spontaneous combustion!Copy !req
36. That's why I've assembled
this crack team of scientistsCopy !req
37. to find out the
cause of this phenomenon.Copy !req
38. You are the best scientific minds
South Park has to offer.Copy !req
39. Uh... Mayor,
I'm a geologist.Copy !req
40. I don't study human biology,
I study the Earth.Copy !req
41. You're the only scientist
that lives in this town.Copy !req
42. You have to find an answer
before more people combust.Copy !req
43. You do that, and you'll be the
most beloved man in South Park.Copy !req
44. Randy! Randy!
Randy! Randy!Copy !req
45. Randy! Randy!
Randy! Randy!Copy !req
46. We love you Randy.Copy !req
47. Make love to me,
Randy, please!Copy !req
48. Wow!Copy !req
49. Marsh, I'm not asking you
I'm telling you—Copy !req
50. find the cause of
spontaneous combustionCopy !req
51. or else!Copy !req
52. Or else, what?Copy !req
53. Exactly!Copy !req
54. Dude, he looks
so peacefulCopy !req
55. without his little
orange coat on.Copy !req
56. Yeah...Copy !req
57. The Lord giveth,
and the Lord taketh away...Copy !req
58. Sometimes the giveth seems
a little disproportionate
to the taketh...Copy !req
59. There seems to be a lot more
taketh-ing going onCopy !req
60. but there it is.Copy !req
61. Perhaps if more of you
attended church on SundaysCopy !req
62. the Lord would not have
felt it necessaryCopy !req
63. to punish us by
taketh-ing this little boy...Copy !req
64. Oh, here comes
the guilt trip, again.Copy !req
65. Now let us pray.Copy !req
66. Lord, though we have lost
Neil Smith to free-agencyCopy !req
67. and Steve Atwater
to the Jets,Copy !req
68. still we hope
our beloved BroncosCopy !req
69. can bring home another
Super Bowl championship.Copy !req
70. And once again bathe
in the glory of your light.Copy !req
71. Amen.Copy !req
72. Amen! Amen!
Amen!Copy !req
73. Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go!Copy !req
74. Broncos! Broncos!
Broncos!Copy !req
75. Broncos, let's go!
Broncos, let's go!Copy !req
76. Wow, that
was short!Copy !req
77. Boys, I haven't
seen you in church, lately.Copy !req
78. Well, I'm Jewish!Copy !req
79. You're not too Jewish
to worship Jesus, are you?Copy !req
80. I guess not.Copy !req
81. Good. Boys, how would you
like to performCopy !req
82. the "Stations of the Cross" this
Friday night?Copy !req
83. It's like a skit, where you
re-enact the deathCopy !req
84. and glorious resurrection
of Jesus Christ.Copy !req
85. Hey, "resurrection,"
that's what my dad needs!Copy !req
86. Huh?Copy !req
87. We'll do it!Copy !req
88. Wonderful, here's a book
on how to perform it.Copy !req
89. Don't let me down, boys!Copy !req
90. Dude, this
is great!Copy !req
91. You know all the Stations
of the Cross, right Stan?Copy !req
92. I dunno, dude.Copy !req
93. I'm gonna have to
go look in the Bible.Copy !req
94. Goodnight, Jerry.Copy !req
95. See ya, Tom,
bye, Helen.Copy !req
96. Bye Jer-Copy !req
97. Oh my God,
another one!Copy !req
98. Helen, no!Copy !req
99. What happened?Copy !req
100. God must be
very angry with us.Copy !req
101. But why-how have we
angered you, Lord?Copy !req
102. Now let's see,
if they combust...Copy !req
103. No.. no...Copy !req
104. Dad, where's
our Bible?Copy !req
105. Not now Stan, I have to
find out what causesCopy !req
106. spontaneous combustion,
or else.Copy !req
107. Or else, what?Copy !req
108. Exactly.Copy !req
109. What?Copy !req
110. Right.Copy !req
111. Where's our Bible?Copy !req
112. It's in the attic
with the old LP's.Copy !req
113. Boys, did you notice
anything strange about KennyCopy !req
114. in the weeks leading
up to his combustion?Copy !req
115. What did he
spend his time doing?Copy !req
116. He didn't
do anything.Copy !req
117. He was always with
his new girlfriend.Copy !req
118. New girlfriend?Copy !req
119. Yeah, he started
seeing this girl and he spentCopy !req
120. all his time taking
the bus to go visit her.Copy !req
121. What does that
have to do with
his death?Copy !req
122. Maybe nothing...
Maybe everything.Copy !req
123. We're gonna go work on
getting Kyle's dad
a ne-rection.Copy !req
124. Yes, yes,
of course.Copy !req
125. I've got
work to do.Copy !req
126. What!Copy !req
127. "Jesus got crucified,
then he died,Copy !req
128. then 3 days later
he had his nerection."Copy !req
129. There's 14 Stations
of the Cross.Copy !req
130. It says we can make
costumes out of sheets!Copy !req
131. This is
gonna be fun!Copy !req
132. I'm gonna
be Jesus!Copy !req
133. You're too fat
to be Jesus!Copy !req
134. Oh, like you're
gonna do it, Jew!Copy !req
135. Stan should
be Jesus.Copy !req
136. Either I'm gonna be Jesus
or screw you guysCopy !req
137. I'm going home!Copy !req
138. You're such
a fat baby!Copy !req
139. Well I guess you guys can do
the Stations of the CrossCopy !req
140. by yourselves!Copy !req
141. Alright, you can be Jesus,
you tubby cry-baby!Copy !req
142. Sticks and stones
may break my bonesCopy !req
143. but I'm Jesus
and you aren't!Copy !req
144. Alright, alright,
let's try it again—Copy !req
145. Kenny was standing here.Copy !req
146. Stan, Kyle and Cartman
were walking around him...Copy !req
147. Okay, now walk.Copy !req
148. Do you
feel hot?Copy !req
149. Uh, no.Copy !req
150. Dammit, how come
you're not combusting?Copy !req
151. Come on, Randy, you said
we were gonna drink beer
and watch the fight!Copy !req
152. Another one
combusted!Copy !req
153. No-had she been
doing anything odd?Copy !req
154. No, she was just on her way
to her new boyfriend's house.Copy !req
155. Boyfriend, and they said
Kenny had a new girlfriend.Copy !req
156. This is stupid,
screw you guys
I'm going home.Copy !req
157. No! I think
I might have it.Copy !req
158. Well, well, well,
a lot of you came to church.Copy !req
159. Looks like we're
all nervousCopy !req
160. about this spontaneous
combustion thing, huh?Copy !req
161. Yeah! Yeah!
Uh-huh!Copy !req
162. Well, on the blessed Friday,
let us give thanks for stuff...Copy !req
163. and things.Copy !req
164. Lord, is it
so much to askCopy !req
165. that you not let us burst into
flames for no apparent reason?Copy !req
166. I mean... c'mon!
Amen.Copy !req
167. And now, some of our
darling local childrenCopy !req
168. are going to perform
the Stations of the Cross.Copy !req
169. Awww... Awww...
- How cute!Copy !req
170. Station 1-Jesus is
condemned to death by pilate.Copy !req
171. Die!
- Ow!Copy !req
172. You can do
what you willCopy !req
173. but I am
the lamb of God.Copy !req
174. Awwww...Copy !req
175. Station 2—
Jesus takes his cross.Copy !req
176. This cross is
seriously heavyCopy !req
177. Oh man, this
is totally weak.Copy !req
178. And then Jesus' disciple, Peter,
denies he knows him.Copy !req
179. Peter!Copy !req
180. I don't know you, dude.Copy !req
181. Oh Peter, weak.
Peter, lame.Copy !req
182. But I'm Jesus
so I forgive you, I guess.Copy !req
183. Mayor.Copy !req
184. Mayor, I have it!Copy !req
185. I found out why people
spontaneously combust!
- Why?Copy !req
186. It's too complicated
to explain over the phone.Copy !req
187. Call a town meeting tomorrow.Copy !req
188. Okay, if you're
right about this, MarshCopy !req
189. you're going to be the most
popular man in South Park!Copy !req
190. Randy! Randy!
Randy! Randy!Copy !req
191. Randy! Randy!
Randy! Randy!Copy !req
192. We love you Randy.Copy !req
193. Make love to me,
Randy, please!Copy !req
194. Wowww!Copy !req
195. Schmuck!Copy !req
196. Station 11—
Jesus is nailed to the cross.Copy !req
197. Oh, this has gone from
weak to super-weak.Copy !req
198. Things cannot get
any more weak for me.Copy !req
199. Then a crown of thorns
was placed on Jesus' head.Copy !req
200. And Jesus was all like—
"thanks!"Copy !req
201. Well, this sucks
that I have to die.Copy !req
202. But if I die, everyone's
sins will be forgiven.Copy !req
203. So I guess it's cool.Copy !req
204. And then Jesus was led away
to Mount SinaiCopy !req
205. where he died, and has a
res-erection three days later.Copy !req
206. Hi mom!Copy !req
207. Thank you boys, blessed be
the name of Jesus.Copy !req
208. it's a great name, isn't it.Copy !req
209. Hey, that went really well,
they really liked it!Copy !req
210. Yeah, told you I'd be
a sweet Jesus, you guys...Copy !req
211. Aw man, at least the real Jesus
didn't weigh 400 pounds!Copy !req
212. Up your ass
with broken glass!Copy !req
213. This spot looks good.Copy !req
214. Yeah, that looks
pretty good!Copy !req
215. Okay, cool,
see ya' Cartman.Copy !req
216. Hey, wait,
where the hell you going?Copy !req
217. I dunno,
home, I guess.Copy !req
218. Yeah, me too.Copy !req
219. Well, get me
down from he'a!Copy !req
220. Cartman, how
stupid are you?Copy !req
221. Didn't you
read the Bible?Copy !req
222. We have to leave you
up there until you dieCopy !req
223. and then you come
back to life in
three days.Copy !req
224. Yeah, dummy you have to
get a nerection.Copy !req
225. Then I can
give it to my dad!Copy !req
226. Hey! I don't
wanna be Jesus anymore!Copy !req
227. Don't leave me here,
you guys!Copy !req
228. Alright,
that does it!Copy !req
229. Screw you guys...
I'm going home.Copy !req
230. Okay, I'm getting
pissed, now!Copy !req
231. Yahhhhh!Copy !req
232. All right, people,
Scientist Marsh and ICopy !req
233. have been working very hard
on the problemCopy !req
234. of spontaneous combustion.Copy !req
235. And we have finally come up
with a solution!Copy !req
236. Mr. Marsh?Copy !req
237. The little boy combusted
because he had a new girlfriend.Copy !req
238. It wasn't the girl
that caused him to combustCopy !req
239. it was the fact that
Kenny didn't want toCopy !req
240. pass gas
in front of her.Copy !req
241. You see, as food is digested
the natural processesCopy !req
242. give off a by-product
known as methane gas.Copy !req
243. The methane gathers
here in the bowel area
where it causes pressure.Copy !req
244. Normally, a person
would expel this buildupCopy !req
245. in the form of a
pleasant fart.Copy !req
246. Should the gas not be expelled,
the methane can build upCopy !req
247. and then ignite,
leading to...Copy !req
248. disaster!Copy !req
249. Kenny combusted because he
held his farts in for too long.Copy !req
250. You mean, all we have to do is
fart and we won't explode?Copy !req
251. Exactly!Copy !req
252. So, from this day forward,
everyone in South ParkCopy !req
253. will be required to fart
on a regular basisCopy !req
254. to insure that nobody else
spontaneously explodes.Copy !req
255. Randy, Randy, Randy!Copy !req
256. We love you, Randy!Copy !req
257. Make love to me,
Randy, please!Copy !req
258. Whoa, dude,
my dad's famous!Copy !req
259. Let's go see how
Cartman's doing
with his a nerection.Copy !req
260. Wow, he died!Copy !req
261. Now we've just got to
wait for his erectionCopy !req
262. and I can give it
to my dad!Copy !req
263. Hey, there you guys are!Copy !req
264. You guys are in big trouble,
now get me down from he'a!Copy !req
265. How come you're
not dead yet?Copy !req
266. I am thirsty
get me down, right now.Copy !req
267. Look fat ass, after you die,
and get resur-erected,Copy !req
268. you'll have all kinds of
super powers like Jesus!Copy !req
269. Really?Copy !req
270. So hurry up and die
you piece of crap!Copy !req
271. When I get my
super powersCopy !req
272. I'm gonna use 'em to
smote you two assholes
right off the planet!Copy !req
273. Hey, superpowers
are sweet!Copy !req
274. Hi, boys.Copy !req
275. Hi, Mr. Macky.Copy !req
276. Have you boys been
sure to pass gas regularlyCopy !req
277. so you don't
spontaneously combust?Copy !req
278. We know how to
fart, Mr. Macky.Copy !req
279. Well let me show you,
to be sure, okay?Copy !req
280. C'mon...Copy !req
281. Jesus Christ!Copy !req
282. Sick, dude!Copy !req
283. I had a steak wrapped
with bacon, last night.Copy !req
284. Dude, I think you,
pulled mud!Copy !req
285. So you boys understand,Copy !req
286. you have to do that
regularly, okay?Copy !req
287. Okay,
just go away!Copy !req
288. That was not cool
at all, dude!Copy !req
289. Hello boys, have you seen
Eric around anywhere?Copy !req
290. Uh, we've been
taking care of him.Copy !req
291. Yeah, we're having him
resur-erected.Copy !req
292. Oh alright, I was just at
the store buying some apples!Copy !req
293. Apples?Copy !req
294. Yeah, apples!Copy !req
295. Apples, get it?Copy !req
296. Dude!Copy !req
297. Stinky apples,
see you, boys!Copy !req
298. I don't think I
like this new law!Copy !req
299. Squeeker!Copy !req
300. and so I declare today,
"Randy Marsh Day".Copy !req
301. Where we shall remember forever
how he freed us allCopy !req
302. from the threat
of spontaneous combustion.Copy !req
303. Gentlemen...Copy !req
304. You're the best, Randy!Copy !req
305. I am?
I am, huh!Copy !req
306. I never knew the depth of my
scientific genius until now.Copy !req
307. It's too bad Cartman
can't be here to enjoy this.Copy !req
308. Yeah.Copy !req
309. Guys, somebody get me
down from he'a!Copy !req
310. Officer Barbrady!Copy !req
311. "t"...
"t" is for "turtle"!Copy !req
312. Hey, help me,
you son-of-a-bitch!Copy !req
313. I'm going to
die up here!Copy !req
314. We now return to the 42nd
annual Nobel Prize Awards.Copy !req
315. Here again, your host,
Whoopie Goldberg.Copy !req
316. Republicans
are so stupid...Copy !req
317. I hate Republicans.Copy !req
318. Republicans
are so stupid.Copy !req
319. And now, here to present
the Nobel Prize for Science,Copy !req
320. here is Nick Nolte.Copy !req
321. Science-is-good,
science-is-very-im-por-tant.Copy !req
322. This year's nominees are:Copy !req
323. Herald R. Pinkerton for his
further development of the GrandCopy !req
324. Unified Theory of Physics.Copy !req
325. Randy Marsh for his for
formulated Break Wind TheoryCopy !req
326. on Spontaneous Combustion.Copy !req
327. And Alfonz Mephesto for his Seven-Assed
Galapagos turtle.Copy !req
328. And the Nobel Prize goes to:Copy !req
329. Randy Marsh for the
Theory of Spontaneous Fart-ing!Copy !req
330. No...
this can't be!Copy !req
331. Wow! Wow!
Oh, wow!Copy !req
332. I'm the best!
Yeahh! Yeahh!Copy !req
333. It's just so amazing to be told
that you're the best.Copy !req
334. I thought I was just a
normal person, like all of youCopy !req
335. but.. yeahhh!Copy !req
336. Thank you for
showing me otherwise.Copy !req
337. Yeah!
I kick ass! Yeahh!Copy !req
338. Fix... fix!Copy !req
339. That was supposed
to be my award.Copy !req
340. I'll get him for this,
mark my words!Copy !req
341. Wow, my dad's
the best!Copy !req
342. All other dads suck
compared to my dad!Copy !req
343. Hey, my dad's
pretty cool too!Copy !req
344. I'm sorry, honey.Copy !req
345. It's okay, I'll just
call some 20-year-oldCopy !req
346. and have him
come over.Copy !req
347. What!Copy !req
348. I'm just kidding!Copy !req
349. That's not funny,
that hurt my feelings!Copy !req
350. Why?Copy !req
351. Kyle!Copy !req
352. Don't worry you guys, I'm
getting a nerection as we speak.Copy !req
353. Huh?Copy !req
354. Actually, Cartman's
getting a nerection.Copy !req
355. But then we're gonna
give it to you.Copy !req
356. So... buck up!Copy !req
357. We have a very strange
little boy, Gerald.Copy !req
358. Dude, you're
still not dead!Copy !req
359. My mom is totally
worried about me,Copy !req
360. you better
let me down.Copy !req
361. She's not worried
about you.Copy !req
362. Yes she is, I've been
hearing her all day, listen!Copy !req
363. "Eric, Eric, where are you?
I miss you very much!"Copy !req
364. That's not
your mom, calling!Copy !req
365. "Yes it is, you guys.Copy !req
366. This is Eric's mom and
I want him home right now."Copy !req
367. How stupid do you
think we are?Copy !req
368. Now you die on that cross
and get resurrectedCopy !req
369. before I
kick your ass!Copy !req
370. You guys, it's
too hot out he'a.Copy !req
371. I can't do this!Copy !req
372. He is right. It has been getting
really hot lately.Copy !req
373. Yeah, I noticed
that, too.Copy !req
374. Let go get some
ice cold lemonade!Copy !req
375. Hey, yeah!Copy !req
376. Ugh, goddammit!Copy !req
377. You guys, wanna hear my
"I hate Stan and Kyle" song?Copy !req
378. My God, it's
burning up in here!Copy !req
379. Can't we crank
the AC up some more?Copy !req
380. It's already
on "full".Copy !req
381. You wanted to
see me, Mayor?Copy !req
382. Yes, Marsh, we have
a new problemCopy !req
383. and I think only you
can solve it.Copy !req
384. I suspect you're talking about
the dramatic heat wave.Copy !req
385. Yes, the temperature's
steadily rising every day!Copy !req
386. I want you
to find out why.Copy !req
387. Mayor, I think I'm a little
over-qualified for this.Copy !req
388. My scientific mind is
best used on global problems.Copy !req
389. Alright, alright
name your price.Copy !req
390. Ten thousand, I have to
protect my talent.Copy !req
391. Done, just find out
what's happening.Copy !req
392. Don't worry, mayor
I'll find the cause.Copy !req
393. Or else... or else what?
Exactly.Copy !req
394. What the...?Copy !req
395. Oh, what now?Copy !req
396. Chef, Chef!Copy !req
397. Children, what the hell
are you doin'?Copy !req
398. Just get me down
from here!Copy !req
399. Oh finally, my arms
are killing me!Copy !req
400. You children
shouldn't be outCopy !req
401. crucifying yourselves
in this heat!Copy !req
402. Sweet... Now I'm gonna
go kill those guys!Copy !req
403. Eric, I have to
tell you somethingCopy !req
404. and it's really
gonna bum you out.Copy !req
405. What?Copy !req
406. It's really gonna
piss you off!Copy !req
407. This is just a dream,
you're still up on that cross!Copy !req
408. Ohh, dammit!Copy !req
409. Dad, where's
the phone book?Copy !req
410. Not now Stanley, without
my scientific geniusCopy !req
411. the town is doomed.Copy !req
412. Let see, when exactly did
the temperature start to go up?Copy !req
413. Our topic tonight is the rising
temperatures in South Park.Copy !req
414. Let's go to the phones,
caller you're on the air.Copy !req
415. Yeah Jesus, after
you got crucified,Copy !req
416. how long did it take you
to die and resurrect?Copy !req
417. Stan?
- That's not the topic tonight.Copy !req
418. The topic is global warming.Copy !req
419. Oh...Copy !req
420. Do you have an opinion
on global warming?Copy !req
421. Uh... it
sucks ass.Copy !req
422. Okay...
thank you caller.Copy !req
423. Let's go to our first guest,
Dr. Alfonse Mephesto.Copy !req
424. You claim to know the cause
of global warming in South Park.Copy !req
425. I most
certainly do.Copy !req
426. The cause of
global warming is...Copy !req
427. Randy Marsh!Copy !req
428. It was Marsh's Theory on
Spontaneous CombustionCopy !req
429. that told everyone
to fart all they want.Copy !req
430. Now all the methane
from all those fartsCopy !req
431. has ripped a hole
in our ozone layer.Copy !req
432. We are all
doomed to die!Copy !req
433. Awww, crap!Copy !req
434. We want answers!
- You've killed us all!Copy !req
435. Someone's got to pay!
- This is out of control!Copy !req
436. Boy, they're
really pissed!Copy !req
437. Well, they're right,
we should have knownCopy !req
438. that all that methane would
adversely affect the atmosphere.Copy !req
439. Well, let's go
talk to them.Copy !req
440. Stick by me.Copy !req
441. Hey, you've
killed us all!Copy !req
442. Cram that Nobel Prize
up your ass!Copy !req
443. Oh my God
what's going on?Copy !req
444. Now we either hold in our farts
and spontaneously combustCopy !req
445. or we let our farts out
and kill our entire planet!Copy !req
446. Well, I for one,
am not farting anymore!Copy !req
447. uh, I'll try to
find a solution.Copy !req
448. We don't want
your solutions, phony!Copy !req
449. Gimme that!Copy !req
450. Damn you, Marsh,
get out of town!Copy !req
451. You fraud!Copy !req
452. Oh... oh...
oh... oh!Copy !req
453. Mr. Garrison, help me!Copy !req
454. I-I do not
know you sir.Copy !req
455. Oh... oh...Copy !req
456. Up yours!Copy !req
457. Yeah take that!Copy !req
458. Dude,
that's my dad!Copy !req
459. Oh, yeah, sorry!Copy !req
460. The spontaneous combustion
problem escalatesCopy !req
461. as more and more people go back
to holding in their farts.Copy !req
462. Meanwhile the ozone layer
continues to depleteCopy !req
463. as others refuse
to hold in their fartsCopy !req
464. for fear of combustion.Copy !req
465. As we all know,
the cause for all of thisCopy !req
466. is Randy Marsh.Copy !req
467. The son-of-a-bitch
who calls himself a scientist.Copy !req
468. We caught up with Mr. Marsh
and he had this to say.Copy !req
469. Uhh... I don't know
what to say.Copy !req
470. What an asshole,
I hate that guy
and so do you.Copy !req
471. And now on to the weather.
It's fucking hot,Copy !req
472. thanks to Randy Marsh,
son-of-a-bitch.Copy !req
473. Dude, those people
are pissed!Copy !req
474. I know, wow!Copy !req
475. Where's your dad?Copy !req
476. He's hiding down
in the basement!Copy !req
477. I don't know
what to do!Copy !req
478. Well, you
have to help him,Copy !req
479. just like I
have to help my dad.Copy !req
480. Still more effects
from the heat waveCopy !req
481. caused by Randy Marsh!Copy !req
482. A giant glacier
is melting above South ParkCopy !req
483. and the entire town
is doomed.Copy !req
484. And now
these messages—Copy !req
485. Having a hard time
with male potency?Copy !req
486. Well I don't
and I'm Bob Dole.Copy !req
487. What's wrong with you?Copy !req
488. Christ, I'm Bob Dole
and I can get it up!Copy !req
489. Are you a lawyer?Copy !req
490. Yes!Copy !req
491. We want to sue
Randy Marsh.Copy !req
492. Why?Copy !req
493. He gave us
skin cancer!Copy !req
494. Yeah, he put that
hole in the ozoneCopy !req
495. and now we've got skin cancer
all over our hot bodies.Copy !req
496. Look...!Copy !req
497. What are you
doing, Dad!Copy !req
498. Stanley, I think it's best,
you live with Kyle from now on.Copy !req
499. His dad is
better than me.Copy !req
500. No he's not, he can't
even get a nerection.Copy !req
501. Ha, really?Copy !req
502. Dad, you've
got to work!Copy !req
503. People are dying,
you've got to
come up with a solution.Copy !req
504. Not me, I'm not a scientist,
I'm a hack.Copy !req
505. Even if I
found a solutionCopy !req
506. those people would
still all hate me.Copy !req
507. Well that
doesn't matter!Copy !req
508. I learned something from
the Stations of the Cross.Copy !req
509. What?Copy !req
510. See, at first Jesus
was all like, "why me?"Copy !req
511. And he was all
pissed off and stuff.Copy !req
512. But then he saw that
what mattered most
was everybody elseCopy !req
513. so he stopped thinking
about his own miseryCopy !req
514. and did what
had to be done.Copy !req
515. Right as Jesus was dying,
he raised his hand and said,Copy !req
516. "the needs of the many
outweigh the needs of the few."Copy !req
517. You're right, Stanley,
you're absolutely right.Copy !req
518. Hey, that Bible sounds like
kind of a good book.Copy !req
519. It's ain't bad, you should
try reading it sometime.Copy !req
520. Dude, that was
"Star Trek" again.Copy !req
521. "The needs of the many
outweigh the needs of the few?"Copy !req
522. That was
The Wrath of Khan.Copy !req
523. Bible, Wrath of Khan,
what's the difference?Copy !req
524. Alright, now let's get to work!Copy !req
525. Dad... Dad!Copy !req
526. Wow...Copy !req
527. Dad, what are you doing,
you have to get started!Copy !req
528. Right, right, right...Copy !req
529. Kyle, where's
your mother?Copy !req
530. She's upstairs!Copy !req
531. Well, I have something
to give to her!Copy !req
532. Don't worry, Kyle,Copy !req
533. everything's going to be okay
between me and your mom.Copy !req
534. Really? Great!Copy !req
535. I don't have to
worry about that anymore.Copy !req
536. Hello?Copy !req
537. Look, there he is,
get him!Copy !req
538. Ummm...
please, everyone...Copy !req
539. You're a
dead man, Marsh!Copy !req
540. Please, listen to me
I think I've found the answer.Copy !req
541. Could I borrow
one of your rocks?Copy !req
542. It's all about moderation,
if you never fart, you combustCopy !req
543. but if you always fart,
you deplete the ozone.Copy !req
544. So we must fart only at
appropriate timesCopy !req
545. or when it's
really, really funny.Copy !req
546. Huh?
- Huh?Copy !req
547. I know you all hate meCopy !req
548. but please, for your own sake,
fart in moderation.Copy !req
549. You can keep stoning me now,
if you want.Copy !req
550. Ow!Copy !req
551. And so, we salute
Randy MarshCopy !req
552. and his "Unified
Theory of Moderation"Copy !req
553. that has saved us all!Copy !req
554. See, my dad is
the coolest, after all!Copy !req
555. Well, my dad's—Copy !req
556. Ooh-Cartman!Copy !req
557. I forgot
all about him!Copy !req
558. He's been up there
for like, 3 weeks!Copy !req
559. Wow!Copy !req
560. That's amazing!Copy !req
561. Hey guys, I am
really pissed off now!Copy !req
562. Dude, you're
still alive, Cartman?Copy !req
563. Get me down
from he'a!Copy !req
564. You survived
all this timeCopy !req
565. on the fat stored up
in your body?Copy !req
566. Yeah, and when
I get down from he'aCopy !req
567. I'm gonna kick you both
in the nuts!Copy !req