1. Dude what are we gonna do
for New Year's Eve?Copy !req
2. It has to be awesome!Copy !req
3. I know!Copy !req
4. It's probably gonna be
the biggest night of our lives!Copy !req
5. You guys, you guys!Copy !req
6. Guess what?Copy !req
7. What, fat ass?Copy !req
8. I've become a man!Copy !req
9. I've started puberty,
you guys!Copy !req
10. Hmmph?Copy !req
11. No, you didn't!Copy !req
12. Yes, I really did!Copy !req
13. How do
you know?Copy !req
14. Well, because yesterday,Copy !req
15. I got my period.Copy !req
16. You got your what?Copy !req
17. My period, you guys!Copy !req
18. You see, there comes a time
in every child's lifeCopy !req
19. when they grow up, and nature
starts to takes it's courseCopy !req
20. by having you bleed out of your
ass for a few days every month.Copy !req
21. You're making that up!Copy !req
22. Ms. Alton, what's it mean
to get a period?Copy !req
23. Well boys, I don't think
I can tell you—Copy !req
24. Please, it's important!Copy !req
25. Well, it's when puberty hits,
and you bleed,Copy !req
26. y'know, "down there".Copy !req
27. Holy shit,
dude!Copy !req
28. Cartman's right!Copy !req
29. Well guys, I'm afraid
I won't be ableCopy !req
30. to hang out with you
on New Year's Eve,Copy !req
31. I have to hang out
with the older crowdCopy !req
32. because now...
I'm mature.Copy !req
33. Dude, Cartman can't
hit puberty before us!Copy !req
34. Well maybe we'll get
ours soon, too!Copy !req
35. I'm gonna go see if
I'm bleeding out my ass!Copy !req
36. Me too!Copy !req
37. In local news, a stomach virus
is going aroundCopy !req
38. that is causing bleeding of the
colon in some small children.Copy !req
39. Doctors are telling parents that the virus is
nothing to worry aboutCopy !req
40. and that the infections
can be dealt withCopy !req
41. with simple antibiotics.Copy !req
42. Well, it's just four days
until New Year's Eve 1999.Copy !req
43. The new millennium
is almost upon us,Copy !req
44. and all over the world,
people have started to celebrateCopy !req
45. by dancing, singing
and killing one another.Copy !req
46. But probably the biggest event
of the millenniumCopy !req
47. is one happening
in South Park, ColoradoCopy !req
48. where people have gathered
for a chance to seeCopy !req
49. Jesus Christ.Copy !req
50. Craig Netzle
is standing by.Copy !req
51. Thanks, Tom, it is indeed four
days until the new millenniumCopy !req
52. and hundreds, if not thousands,
of peopleCopy !req
53. have come from
all over the worldCopy !req
54. seeking Jesus...Copy !req
55. here at his house
in South Park.Copy !req
56. Everyone is giddy with anticipation for Jesus
to come outCopy !req
57. because, as we all know,Copy !req
58. if Jesus comes
out of his house,Copy !req
59. and is not
scared by his shadow,Copy !req
60. it means the next
thousand yearsCopy !req
61. will be full of
peace and love.Copy !req
62. Oh, it looks like
Jesus might be coming out!Copy !req
63. Oh look, Tommy,
there he is!Copy !req
64. Can you see him?Copy !req
65. He's neat, Mommy.Copy !req
66. Everyone is
quiet here, Tom,Copy !req
67. looks like the little fella's
a bit nervous.Copy !req
68. But he has taken
another step out, Tom...Copy !req
69. this is great news for us!Copy !req
70. Ummm... what are
you people doing?Copy !req
71. Can I help you
with something?Copy !req
72. Well, it's the millennium, Jesus.Copy !req
73. Uh, huh?Copy !req
74. It's the millennium.Copy !req
75. Yeah!
- Right!Copy !req
76. So, what happens
at the millennium?Copy !req
77. I don't know.Copy !req
78. We thought
you did!Copy !req
79. Yeah, you're
supposed to know.Copy !req
80. Yeah, you're Jesus!Copy !req
81. Oh. Well...Copy !req
82. yea, believe in me
and ye shall find peace.Copy !req
83. Yeah, yeah, yeah,Copy !req
84. we've heard that crap
for about 2,000 years now.Copy !req
85. We wanna hear
something new!Copy !req
86. It's the year 2000
for Christ's sake!Copy !req
87. Yeah!Copy !req
88. Well, what do you want?Copy !req
89. We want to see God!Copy !req
90. Yeah, with our own eyes.Copy !req
91. Yeah!Copy !req
92. We've followed blindly
for thousands of yearsCopy !req
93. and we think
the least God can doCopy !req
94. is show up for
New Year's Eve 1999!Copy !req
95. Yeah!Copy !req
96. Oh, uhhh, let me
think about that for a minute.Copy !req
97. Is that good?Copy !req
98. I dunno,
is that good?Copy !req
99. Hello?Copy !req
100. Dude, did you get
your period yet?Copy !req
101. No, there's no blood
coming out of my ass.Copy !req
102. Mine either, but
I double-checkedCopy !req
103. and Cartman was right.Copy !req
104. Your period is
the start of puberty.Copy !req
105. Well, if Cartman is
the only one who gets itCopy !req
106. and he thinks he's too
grown up to hang out with us,Copy !req
107. then screw him anyways.Copy !req
108. Yeah!Copy !req
109. Woo-hoo!Copy !req
110. Yay-heyy!Copy !req
111. C'mon Cartman, we have to
make plans for new year's.Copy !req
112. Hold your horses, guys.Copy !req
113. This is very important
for mature people!Copy !req
114. Let's see...Copy !req
115. "Offers complete protection
during heavy flow...Copy !req
116. "Maximum stoppage of
vaginal chunks..."Copy !req
117. Ooh, this one's
got wings, you guys!Copy !req
118. Woo-hoo!Copy !req
119. You did!Copy !req
120. You got your
period, too, Kenny?Copy !req
121. Well, welcome to
the club, Kenny.Copy !req
122. You got your period,
so now you're a man!Copy !req
123. We can hang out together
on New Year's Eve.Copy !req
124. But first you need to buy
some maxi-padsCopy !req
125. to stuff in the
back of your pantsCopy !req
126. so you don't get
blood on your underwear.Copy !req
127. Woo-hoo!Copy !req
128. Tom, it looked
for a second as ifCopy !req
129. Jesus was going to
come out of his house,Copy !req
130. but then he went
back inside.Copy !req
131. But meanwhile, more and more
people are showing upCopy !req
132. to show their support
for Jesus.Copy !req
133. Well, the way
I see it,Copy !req
134. if he really is
who he says he is,Copy !req
135. well, then, he better
do something on New Year's EveCopy !req
136. 'cause it's
in the Bible!Copy !req
137. Father, I need to
talk to you.Copy !req
138. Please Father, appear to me.Copy !req
139. What is it,
my child?Copy !req
140. Father, everyone is starting to
pay attention to me againCopy !req
141. because of
the new millennium.Copy !req
142. I'm kind of
making a comeback!Copy !req
143. Yea, like John Travolta
before you,Copy !req
144. you are experiencing
a second revival.Copy !req
145. It's the millennium, Father.Copy !req
146. People want to
see you.Copy !req
147. Nay, their eyes are not yet
prepared to see the likes of me.Copy !req
148. But, Dad, I think this may be
my one big shot at a comeback!Copy !req
149. Be ye be careful of pride, Jesus.Copy !req
150. Just make an appearance.Copy !req
151. You can come down,
say hi to a few peopleCopy !req
152. and can be back by 12:30!Copy !req
153. I'm sorry, my son, but if you
want to earn everyone's loveCopy !req
154. you will have to do it yourself.Copy !req
155. Ike, can I
talk to you?Copy !req
156. Uh-uh, different.Copy !req
157. Ike, I don't know
what to do.Copy !req
158. All the guys are
getting their periodsCopy !req
159. and I don't think I am.Copy !req
160. I can't be the
last one to get it,Copy !req
161. I just can't!Copy !req
162. Wa-wa,
cheery.Copy !req
163. Cartman got his,
then Kenny.Copy !req
164. What if tomorrow,
Stan says he got hisCopy !req
165. and I'm left out?Copy !req
166. I might not even get to be
their friend any more.Copy !req
167. No, merky sahga...Copy !req
168. Murgy,
miggy mowse.Copy !req
169. Yeah!Copy !req
170. I could just say
I got my period.Copy !req
171. It's not like
they'll check!Copy !req
172. I can just say
I got my periodCopy !req
173. 'cause I really will
get it someday!Copy !req
174. It's not really lying,
it's jumping the gun a little.Copy !req
175. Coo-kle, ma-kle.Copy !req
176. Thanks a lot, Ike.Copy !req
177. So you guys aren't gonne spend
New Year's Eve with us?Copy !req
178. Look, Kenny and I
are mature now.Copy !req
179. We can't spend New Year's Eve
with a couple of kids!Copy !req
180. Did you get your
maxi-pads, Kenny?Copy !req
181. Tampon?
What's a tampon?Copy !req
182. Ooh, doesn't that hurt?Copy !req
183. Mmhpt-mhhpm.Copy !req
184. You guys, I got
my period, too!Copy !req
185. Wow, cool!Copy !req
186. You did?Copy !req
187. Yeah, I was just
hanging out in my roomCopy !req
188. then I period-ed
all over the place.Copy !req
189. Alright!Copy !req
190. You have to be in
me and Kenny's club, then.Copy !req
191. My mom gave me this Women Who
Run With The Wolves bookCopy !req
192. and I'm finding out all about
our Goddess powers.Copy !req
193. Awesome, we get powers?Copy !req
194. Yeah, c'mon, we can set up
everything in my clubhouseCopy !req
195. and get ready for
New Year's Eve!Copy !req
196. Hey, don't feel bad, Stan.Copy !req
197. Some of us just mature
a little later than others.Copy !req
198. "Are you there, God?
It's me, Stan.Copy !req
199. "if you wouldn't mind,
I don't want to be the only kidCopy !req
200. "who doesn't get his period
before the new year.Copy !req
201. "Could you speed up my
development a little?Copy !req
202. "Thanks God,
your friend, Stan."Copy !req
203. "Are you there God?
It's me, Jesus.Copy !req
204. "I feel like I've got a real
shot at a comeback, God.Copy !req
205. "For whatever reason, people are
starting to follow me again.Copy !req
206. "I'm 2,000 years old, but I feel
like I'm 28 again.Copy !req
207. "I think I'm going to win
everybody backCopy !req
208. "because I just made
a few phone callsCopy !req
209. "and I'm going to put on
the most amazing new year's
spectacleCopy !req
210. this world has ever seen!"Copy !req
211. Good morning
South Park, it's 8 A.M.Copy !req
212. And only two more days
until the new millennium!Copy !req
213. Dammit!Copy !req
214. Dammit!Copy !req
215. Dammit!Copy !req
216. Dammit!Copy !req
217. Stanley, honey,
what's the matter?Copy !req
218. I'm not bleeding
out of my ass!Copy !req
219. Well... that's
good, honey.Copy !req
220. No, it's not,
it's terrible!Copy !req
221. Are you there, God?
It's me, Stan.Copy !req
222. How come you
didn't help me?Copy !req
223. I know you're really
busy with things,Copy !req
224. but this is a matter
of life and death.Copy !req
225. If I don't get my periodCopy !req
226. my friends won't let me hang out with them
on New Year's Eve.Copy !req
227. Please, please
give me my period soon.Copy !req
228. Here he comes!Copy !req
229. He's coming out!Copy !req
230. I've given it
much thought, my children,Copy !req
231. and you are right.Copy !req
232. After reviewing the Bible
it does indeed sayCopy !req
233. that something very big is going to happen
at the millennium.Copy !req
234. I have spoken to
my father in HeavenCopy !req
235. and he agreed that the millennium is significant
to all of us.Copy !req
236. And ye who believe in me
shall be rewarded!Copy !req
237. So, what we're gonna do
tomorrow night—Copy !req
238. New Year's Eve 1999—Copy !req
239. We just got Rod Stewart to agree
to play a comeback concertCopy !req
240. at the Rio Hotel and Casino
in Las VegasCopy !req
241. and you're all going!Copy !req
242. We knew you could
do it, Jesus!Copy !req
243. I better book my ass
a flight to Vegas!Copy !req
244. Okay, is everyone
accounted for?Copy !req
245. Goddess Wind?Copy !req
246. Here!Copy !req
247. Goddess Moon?Copy !req
248. Goddess Moon!Copy !req
249. I'm here!Copy !req
250. And I'm here,
Goddess Earthly Delight.Copy !req
251. So, this is the first meeting
of our clubCopy !req
252. for teens who have
gotten their periods.Copy !req
253. We're supposed to talk
about our periods and boys.Copy !req
254. Let's talk
about boys first.Copy !req
255. I think Craig
is pretty coolCopy !req
256. but I don't think
Clyde is very cool.Copy !req
257. I think Clyde
is kind of coolCopy !req
258. but Craig is definitely
cooler than Clyde.Copy !req
259. Okay, that settles that.Copy !req
260. Now let's talk about
our periods.Copy !req
261. Kyle, you first.Copy !req
262. Oh, uh... ummm...Copy !req
263. What's the matter, Kyle?Copy !req
264. Nothing!Copy !req
265. Uh, my period
is really, uh...Copy !req
266. Uh, period is
going swimmingly!Copy !req
267. Okay, that makes sense,
mine is going swimmingly, too!Copy !req
268. Mine, too!Copy !req
269. Whew!Copy !req
270. Oh, hello, Stan!Copy !req
271. Hey, Chef.Copy !req
272. How's it going?Copy !req
273. Bad.Copy !req
274. Why bad?Copy !req
275. Can I come in?Copy !req
276. Well, sure!Copy !req
277. Now what's the matter,
little cracker?Copy !req
278. Chef, I have this
friend, see...Copy !req
279. And this person
is really bummed outCopy !req
280. because everyone else
the same age has gotten
their periodCopy !req
281. and this person hasn't.Copy !req
282. Oh, you're talking about
your older sister, Shelly.Copy !req
283. No.Copy !req
284. Your little
girlfriend, Wendy.Copy !req
285. Look, it doesn't
matter who it isCopy !req
286. the point is that everyone else
got their periodCopy !req
287. and this person hasn't.Copy !req
288. Look, Stan, do you really
know what a period is?Copy !req
289. Yeah, Cartman told us.Copy !req
290. Stan, let me sing you a little
song about the menstrual cycle.Copy !req
291. I think it might
clear things up for you.Copy !req
292. Okay.Copy !req
293. And that's my song about
the menstrual cycle, Stan.Copy !req
294. Did that clear
things up for you?Copy !req
295. So, what you're saying is
this person shouldn't be bummedCopy !req
296. because everybody has their
period at a different time?Copy !req
297. Is that what I said?Copy !req
298. But it's not fair!Copy !req
299. It's not fair that
one day you're on top,Copy !req
300. you're the coolest
kid in town,Copy !req
301. and the next day you're
at the bottom againCopy !req
302. because everyone has blood coming out
of their ass but you!Copy !req
303. And if I can't men-strate
then, by God,Copy !req
304. I'm not gonna sit around and be the only
periodless
8-year-old boy!Copy !req
305. I'm gonna do
something about it!Copy !req
306. Whoa!Copy !req
307. I musta' missed a whole middle part, there!Copy !req
308. I can't tell you
how excited Rod Stewart isCopy !req
309. about this
millennium concert.Copy !req
310. He's gotten
a little older,Copy !req
311. but you're gonna see
how much he can still rock.Copy !req
312. Oh, I'm excited, too.Copy !req
313. I think it will bring
my father's childrenCopy !req
314. back to their faith
and back to mine eyes.Copy !req
315. For I am
the lamb of God.Copy !req
316. Yeah, and y'know,
Rod is a seasoned veteranCopy !req
317. so I'm going to have to
ask for a bit more cash.Copy !req
318. But we can talk
about that later.Copy !req
319. Here comes Rod now.Copy !req
320. Owww...Copy !req
321. Hey Rod,
great to see you!Copy !req
322. Owww...Copy !req
323. Uh, the folks are sure
glad you're playing.Copy !req
324. It's really given them
a lot of faith in me again.Copy !req
325. I'm sure that together we can
make this millennium partyCopy !req
326. the best New Year's bash ever!Copy !req
327. Poopans...Copy !req
328. What?Copy !req
329. Poo pants.Copy !req
330. "Poo pants"?Copy !req
331. Pooped pants.Copy !req
332. Y-You pooped your pants?Copy !req
333. Pooped my pants.Copy !req
334. Oh...Copy !req
335. Uh— Nurse, Mr. Stewart has
apparently pooped his pants!Copy !req
336. Again?Copy !req
337. Now Mr. Stewart,Copy !req
338. what did we say about
trying to hold in Mr. Dookie?Copy !req
339. Yes, puberty is a
very wonderful thing, Stan.Copy !req
340. It's what links us
all together.Copy !req
341. Makes us one.Copy !req
342. What happens if there's someone
who never went through puberty?Copy !req
343. Never went
through puberty?Copy !req
344. Who never went
through puberty?Copy !req
345. Nobody...
I mean, uh...Copy !req
346. Uh, well... my dad!Copy !req
347. Your father never
went through puberty?Copy !req
348. No and uh... that's why
he sent me here.Copy !req
349. Because he's too
embarrassed to come himself.Copy !req
350. Well, I can't say
that I blame him.Copy !req
351. So, do you know anything
that can help him?Copy !req
352. Well I should think that the
most logical solution would be—Copy !req
353. hormones!Copy !req
354. Hormones?Copy !req
355. Yes, here,
tell your fatherCopy !req
356. to take just one of
these pills every week.Copy !req
357. It could be just what he needs.Copy !req
358. And be sure to tell him that
his secret is safe with me.Copy !req
359. Thanks a lot, Doctor,
you're the best!Copy !req
360. My pleasure.Copy !req
361. I just love
helping people.Copy !req
362. Now, for our
first club activity,Copy !req
363. we're supposed to reach
into this little dishCopy !req
364. and pull out a word.Copy !req
365. We look at the wordCopy !req
366. and think about what
that word means to us.Copy !req
367. Okay, today's word is
"spirituality".Copy !req
368. What that means
to me is—Copy !req
369. Hey, assholes!Copy !req
370. Hey, look, it's
that little boyCopy !req
371. who hasn't gotten
his period yet.Copy !req
372. Don't you worry
about that!Copy !req
373. I've started
taking hormones!Copy !req
374. Hormones?Copy !req
375. Yeah, they make you
have your puberty quicker.Copy !req
376. And I'm just
here to tell youCopy !req
377. that my puberty is gonna be
bigger than any of you guys!Copy !req
378. Dude, I don't think 8-year-olds
are supposed to take hormones.Copy !req
379. Yeah, you shouldn't
force your period, Stan.Copy !req
380. You should let it come
like the morning dew.Copy !req
381. So what are we
gonna do for new year's?Copy !req
382. Well, we're going with our
families to Las Vegas.Copy !req
383. I guess there'll be some younger
kids there... if you want to go.Copy !req
384. Argh, I'm gonna go
take some more hormones.Copy !req
385. Now, the word is
"spirituality".Copy !req
386. I believe that the Goddess in me
is my sprituality because—Copy !req
387. Ughnnn...Copy !req
388. Quiet, Kenny.Copy !req
389. The Goddess lives
in all of us—Copy !req
390. Ugh-ugnn!Copy !req
391. Goddammit Kenny,
shut the hell up!Copy !req
392. Ughhhnn!Copy !req
393. Whoa, dude!Copy !req
394. Mr. and Ms. McCormick?Copy !req
395. Yes?Copy !req
396. I'm sorry, we couldn't
save your son.Copy !req
397. Oh my God...Copy !req
398. My little Kenny's gone!Copy !req
399. I can't believe it!Copy !req
400. We just didn't
get to him in time.Copy !req
401. There's nothing
we could do.Copy !req
402. What happened?Copy !req
403. What killed him,
Doctor?Copy !req
404. Well, we found a tampon
stuck up your child's ass.Copy !req
405. Apparently, he'd had it
up there for several days.Copy !req
406. It plugged him up
until he finally burstCopy !req
407. from the inside out
like a ruptured septic tank.Copy !req
408. Oh my God!Copy !req
409. My worry is that he
could have been followingCopy !req
410. some kind of
crazy new fad.Copy !req
411. Perhaps the children are all
shoving tampons up their assCopy !req
412. because they've seen the
Backstreet Boys doing it
on TV or something.Copy !req
413. We must get to
the bottom of this!Copy !req
414. If you'll pardon the pun.Copy !req
415. But, actually, right now, I've got to
catch plane to Las VegasCopy !req
416. to see the Rod Stewart
Millennium Show.Copy !req
417. Rod Stewart's
gonna be in Vegas?Copy !req
418. Tom, I'm here
live in Las VegasCopy !req
419. where tomorrow night
the New Year's Eve eventCopy !req
420. is going to happen.Copy !req
421. Jesus Christ,
our Lord and savior,Copy !req
422. is presenting Rod Stewart,
the undisputed king of popCopy !req
423. right here at
this hotel behind me.Copy !req
424. It looks as though Jesus
really has come through.Copy !req
425. Everyone is very excited
because rumor has itCopy !req
426. that God himself is gonna
show up to the event.Copy !req
427. What?Copy !req
428. How about you, m'aam, do you
think God is gonna show up?Copy !req
429. Of course he is.Copy !req
430. This is Jesus
we're talking about!Copy !req
431. He wouldn't
let us down.Copy !req
432. Oh no!
Are you there, God?Copy !req
433. Father, will you
please reconsiderCopy !req
434. and show up tomorrow?Copy !req
435. Hello?Copy !req
436. Stanley, wake up, honey...
it's time to leave for Las Vegas!Copy !req
437. Whoa, dude!Copy !req
438. I've got boobs!Copy !req
439. Hey, Las Vegas is a pretty cool
place for us mature people.Copy !req
440. Alright, people...Copy !req
441. Are we ready to
rock the millennium?Copy !req
442. Father in Heaven, please let
tonight's show go well.Copy !req
443. Please make them like it.Copy !req
444. Hey, here comes Stan.Copy !req
445. Have I missed anything?Copy !req
446. Wow, Stan, you've really got
some nice titties, there.Copy !req
447. Did you get your
period yet, Stan?Copy !req
448. No, I didn't, but—Copy !req
449. Don't worry, you'll get someday.Copy !req
450. C'mon, Kyle, let's go see
what kind of tampons they haveCopy !req
451. here in Las Vegas.Copy !req
452. Well, I'll tell you
one thing...Copy !req
453. I sure as heck am excited!Copy !req
454. We've got about 4 hours
to the new year,Copy !req
455. so it think it's time
to start it up!Copy !req
456. Ladies and Gentlemen,
here he is, as promisedCopy !req
457. Mr. Rod
"Do You Think I'm Sexy"
Stewart!Copy !req
458. Whoa, man!Copy !req
459. Oops, I pooped 'em.Copy !req
460. This sucks balls!Copy !req
461. Yeah!
- Yeah!Copy !req
462. Alright, enough of this,
bring out God!Copy !req
463. Yeah!Copy !req
464. Oh no!Copy !req
465. We want God!Copy !req
466. We want God!Copy !req
467. We want God!Copy !req
468. Please Father,
do something!Copy !req
469. We want God!Copy !req
470. Uh, folks, I'm afraid
God can't make it tonight.Copy !req
471. We came all the way
to Las Vegas for this?Copy !req
472. This is the worst
New Year's ever!Copy !req
473. Thanks a lot, Jesus!Copy !req
474. Let's get him!Copy !req
475. Well, Tom, I'm here live
in Las VegasCopy !req
476. at what is quickly becoming
known as the gayest party ever.Copy !req
477. Everyone is so outraged that
they are building a large crossCopy !req
478. in which to, once again,
crucify our Lord and savior,Copy !req
479. Jesus Christ.Copy !req
480. Jesus, why does
God hate me?Copy !req
481. Huh? He doesn't hate you, he hates me!Copy !req
482. He's gonna let me
be crucified again.Copy !req
483. He hates me more.Copy !req
484. He doesn't
answer my prayers.Copy !req
485. I prayed to him every day
and he never answered me.Copy !req
486. But just because God
doesn't answer your prayersCopy !req
487. doesn't mean he
doesn't care about you.Copy !req
488. Well, then, why didn't
he give me what I wanted?Copy !req
489. God can't just
answer every prayerCopy !req
490. and suddenly give you
everything you want.Copy !req
491. That takes all the
living out of life.Copy !req
492. What do you mean?Copy !req
493. If God answered
all our prayers,Copy !req
494. there'd be nothing left
for us to do ourselves.Copy !req
495. Life is about problems,
and overcoming those problems.Copy !req
496. And growing and learning
from obstacles.Copy !req
497. If God just fixed
everything for us,Copy !req
498. then there'd be
no point in our existence.Copy !req
499. That's why he wouldn't
show up to my new year's party.Copy !req
500. I just wanted
my period.Copy !req
501. I get it now, Father!Copy !req
502. I had to learn
all this on my own.Copy !req
503. I was overcome with
my new popularityCopy !req
504. and I let pride get in the way
of good judgment.Copy !req
505. Whoa, what is that?Copy !req
506. It's Dad.Copy !req
507. God is going to
show himself?Copy !req
508. Look, I can see him!Copy !req
509. Father, you came!Copy !req
510. Now, look upon me,
my children, and know me.Copy !req
511. Be ye not afraid,
blessed art thou, my children.Copy !req
512. That's God?Copy !req
513. Yea, 'tis my father
the creator.Copy !req
514. He is the alpha, the omega,
the beginning and the end.Copy !req
515. Well yeah,
but... that?Copy !req
516. What did you expect me
to look like, my son?Copy !req
517. Well not like that!Copy !req
518. Since it is the end
of the first 2,000 yearsCopy !req
519. I will allow you, my children,
to ask me one question.Copy !req
520. One question?Copy !req
521. Only one?Copy !req
522. What should
we ask him?Copy !req
523. We have to
think carefully!Copy !req
524. We can ask him
anything we wantCopy !req
525. like, "what's the
meaning of life?"Copy !req
526. Oo, "why are we here?"Copy !req
527. I have it,
I have the question!Copy !req
528. Now you have to answer me
once and for all...Copy !req
529. How come I haven't
gotten my period yet?Copy !req
530. My child, you are a boy.Copy !req
531. Boys do not get periods,
that's only for girls.Copy !req
532. Your friends were bleeding
a little bit out of their assesCopy !req
533. because of an
acute colon infectionCopy !req
534. and your friend Kyle
simply lied about it.Copy !req
535. How'd he know that!Copy !req
536. You will hit puberty
when the time is right.Copy !req
537. But you will never have a
period, because you are a man.Copy !req
538. With titties.Copy !req
539. Thus, spaketh the Lord.Copy !req
540. And now, I return to Heaven.Copy !req
541. Hey, wait!Copy !req
542. That doesn't count as our
question, does it?Copy !req
543. I'll answer another on
New Year's EveCopy !req
544. in the year 4000.Copy !req
545. Did you hear that,
everybody?Copy !req
546. I'm not even supposed
to have my periodCopy !req
547. that's why God wasn't
answering me before!Copy !req
548. Boy, I'm sure glad
everything worked out okay!Copy !req
549. I guess now, we can all
celebrate the new year, huh?Copy !req
550. Let's get him!Copy !req
551. Yeah!Copy !req
552. Ahhhhhh!Copy !req