1. Look, Eric!Copy !req
2. Mommy got you
a present!Copy !req
3. A present—
is it a "Rocket Racer?"Copy !req
4. No, let
me guess!Copy !req
5. It's a
"Frogman Dave" doll!Copy !req
6. No wait, I know,
it's a "Police Power Chopper"!Copy !req
7. No, I got you something
that's going to help youCopy !req
8. win the big
spelling bee tomorrow!Copy !req
9. Mom, I'm not gonna
win the spelling bee.Copy !req
10. I never do.Copy !req
11. This year's
gonna be different!Copy !req
12. Look!Copy !req
13. I got you
"Hooked on Monkey Fonics"!Copy !req
14. What the hell is
"Hooked on Monkey Fonics"?Copy !req
15. It's a new way to learn
how to read and spell,Copy !req
16. and it comes with
everything you needCopy !req
17. to help win that
spelling bee!Copy !req
18. Wagh!Copy !req
19. It says we just put the
cassette into a tape player...Copy !req
20. Welcome to
"Hooked on Monkey Fonics"Copy !req
21. Level 1!Copy !req
22. I will read the sounds and
the monkey will keep the beat.Copy !req
23. If your monkey arrived
in the box deadCopy !req
24. call 1-800-555-4500
to get a new monkey.Copy !req
25. Ready?
Let's begin!Copy !req
26. The learning monkey
is here to say,Copy !req
27. that reading is easy
and it's okay!Copy !req
28. Work with the monkey
and you will learn,Copy !req
29. to spell hard words
like "morbid" and "fern".Copy !req
30. Start with card 1,
ready begin—Copy !req
31. C-h, ch-chalk.Copy !req
32. C-h, ch-chalk.Copy !req
33. Good, Card 2!Copy !req
34. T-h, th-there.Copy !req
35. T-h, th-there!Copy !req
36. Hey, this is easy!Copy !req
37. I'm gonna win the
spelling bee for sure, Mom!Copy !req
38. Alright, everyone!Copy !req
39. Welcome to the 15th annual
South Park Spelling Bee Finals!Copy !req
40. Woo-hoo!Copy !req
41. This should be
very interesting.Copy !req
42. We have with us 12 of the
brightest spellers from
South Park Elementary.Copy !req
43. Kyle, Kyle,
he's our manCopy !req
44. if he can't win it,
I'm out 50 bucks!Copy !req
45. You bet money
on my son to win?Copy !req
46. Sure, when it comes to
spelling bees,Copy !req
47. I always bet
on the Jew!Copy !req
48. You're going
down, bitch.Copy !req
49. Shut up, fat ass.Copy !req
50. Everyone knows I can
spell better than you.Copy !req
51. Yeah, well this year
I have a secret weapon.Copy !req
52. And joining us
this year,Copy !req
53. are the two
home-schooled children,Copy !req
54. Rebecca and Mark Cotswolds!Copy !req
55. What?Copy !req
56. Home-schooled kids?Copy !req
57. Who the hell
are they!Copy !req
58. Hey, that's not fair!Copy !req
59. You can't let
home-schooled kidsCopy !req
60. into a public school
spelling bee!Copy !req
61. What's a
home-schooled kid?Copy !req
62. I don't know, dude,
I've never seen them before.Copy !req
63. Go Mark!
Go Rebecca!Copy !req
64. Our first contestant is
Mark Cotswolds from home-school.Copy !req
65. Alright, Mark, your word is:
"conscientious".Copy !req
66. What? What the fuck
does that mean?Copy !req
67. Conscientious... may I have
the definition, please?Copy !req
68. "Closely attentive
to details, careful".Copy !req
69. Conscientious—could you
use it in a sentence, please.Copy !req
70. "Mary's analysis of the
spreadsheet was conscientious."Copy !req
71. Conscientious...
C-o-n-s-c-I-e-n-t-I-o-u-s.Copy !req
72. Holy crap!Copy !req
73. Way to go, Mark, alright!Copy !req
74. Okay, our next contestant
is Eric Cartman.Copy !req
75. Alright, Eric,
here is your word: "chair."Copy !req
76. Cha-ir.Copy !req
77. Come on, Fonics Monkey, drum!Copy !req
78. Come on!Copy !req
79. Eric, your word
is "chair"!Copy !req
80. Uh... definition?Copy !req
81. Something you sit on.Copy !req
82. Country of origin?Copy !req
83. English!Copy !req
84. Could you please use it
in a sentence?Copy !req
85. Oh for Christ's sake, kid,
the word is "chair"!Copy !req
86. Uh... chair...
C-h-a-r-e.Copy !req
87. Bzzzt!
- Aw, dammit!Copy !req
88. How come I get
the hard ones?Copy !req
89. Get over here you
son-of-a-bitch Fonics Monkey!Copy !req
90. Alright, we're down to
just three finalists.Copy !req
91. First up is Rebecca Cotswalds
from home-school.Copy !req
92. Alright, Rebecca, here
is your word: "litoral."Copy !req
93. Litoral...
Definition?Copy !req
94. "Having to do with
a lake or ocean."Copy !req
95. Litoral... will you please
use it in a sentence?Copy !req
96. "Gary was most interested in the
litoral features of Michigan."Copy !req
97. Litoral...
L-I-t-o-r-a-I!Copy !req
98. Correct!Copy !req
99. Wow...Copy !req
100. Alright, Rebecca!
Good job honey!Copy !req
101. And now we have
Kyle Broflofski.Copy !req
102. Here we go:
"kroxldyphivc."Copy !req
103. What?Copy !req
104. "Kroxldyphivc".Copy !req
105. Definition?Copy !req
106. "Something which has a
Kroxldyph-like quality."Copy !req
107. Uh... could you use it
in a sentence?Copy !req
108. Certainly.Copy !req
109. "Kroxldyphivc is a
hard word to spell."Copy !req
110. Kroxldyphivc...Copy !req
111. You can do it, kid!
You can do it!Copy !req
112. Kroxldyphic... C-Copy !req
113. Bzzztt!
- Dammit!Copy !req
114. You little bastard!
You cost me 50 bucks!Copy !req
115. Why don't you run away
and join the circus,Copy !req
116. you stupid little
son-of-a-bitch!Copy !req
117. Aghghgh!Copy !req
118. Congratulations,
Mark and Rebecca.Copy !req
119. You are truly
South Park's finest!Copy !req
120. Damn, dude, those home-school
kids are smart!Copy !req
121. Yeah, too bad they have
the personalities of a wet dishcloth!Copy !req
122. What's your name?Copy !req
123. What's in a name?Copy !req
124. Wow.Copy !req
125. It was nice competing
against you boys.Copy !req
126. We will have to do it
a-gain sometime.Copy !req
127. Oh yes, we must
do it a-gain.Copy !req
128. We've never
seen you before,Copy !req
129. do you live in
the woods or something?Copy !req
130. No, I live right
over there.Copy !req
131. I've lived there
all my life.Copy !req
132. How come you don't
go to school?Copy !req
133. Because I'm home-schooled.
- What's that?Copy !req
134. My parents teach me,Copy !req
135. so I stay at home
instead of going to school.Copy !req
136. You what?Copy !req
137. Stay at home—
all day—no school?Copy !req
138. Right.Copy !req
139. Shut up, Cartman.Copy !req
140. You shut up, butthole.Copy !req
141. You shut up, gay wad.Copy !req
142. You shut up,
ass logger.Copy !req
143. Oh my goodness,
are you two enemies?Copy !req
144. No, we're friends.Copy !req
145. Strange, friends would
call each other names and fight.Copy !req
146. What?Copy !req
147. Come, children,
let's take our trophies homeCopy !req
148. and place them high
upon the mantle!Copy !req
149. Dude, what a bunch of
freakin' nerdos.Copy !req
150. Papa?Copy !req
151. Yes, Mark?Copy !req
152. Why can't I go to school
with the other boys?Copy !req
153. Oh...Copy !req
154. Well, because son,
public schools are
inefficient and dangerous.Copy !req
155. But I want to play
with the other children.Copy !req
156. Oh, how they
laugh and play, Papa.Copy !req
157. Mark, you have
play time.Copy !req
158. You get to play
in the afternoons.Copy !req
159. I just feel like I should
go to public school,Copy !req
160. if only for
a little while.Copy !req
161. To see what other
little boys are like.Copy !req
162. Mark, public schools
are no good.Copy !req
163. Your mother and I
were both home-schooledCopy !req
164. and we turned out
much better because of it.Copy !req
165. Please, Papa, just let me
try it for a few days.Copy !req
166. Alright, fine, Mark!Copy !req
167. You go ahead and go
to public school.Copy !req
168. You can just find out
for yourselfCopy !req
169. how flawed and
treacherous it is!Copy !req
170. Hooray!Copy !req
171. You don't want to go to public
school, too, do you Rebecca?Copy !req
172. Oh, heavens no.Copy !req
173. Well, thank God for that.Copy !req
174. At least my daughter
will remain safe!Copy !req
175. Oh, hi... is, uh...
is Rebecca home?Copy !req
176. Yes, she is.Copy !req
177. Uh... can I talk to her?Copy !req
178. Oh, well... I suppose so.Copy !req
179. Rebecca, this little boy
wants to see you.Copy !req
180. Hello?Copy !req
181. Uh... hi.Copy !req
182. Hello.Copy !req
183. Uh... I just...Copy !req
184. Well...
that's all.Copy !req
185. Who was that?Copy !req
186. A little boy wanted
to see Rebecca.Copy !req
187. Oh no.Copy !req
188. I told you the spelling bee
was a bad idea!Copy !req
189. But the children won,Copy !req
190. and they were happy
to meet the other children.Copy !req
191. Yes, but now I think
we may have openedCopy !req
192. a Pandora's Box
that we can't close!Copy !req
193. Okay, children, we have a new
student joining us todayCopy !req
194. from home-school.Copy !req
195. Now, his parents are very
worried about his safety,Copy !req
196. so please don't be
too cruel too him.Copy !req
197. Mark?Copy !req
198. Hey guys,
what's up?Copy !req
199. Dude, what's
wrong with you?Copy !req
200. Do you have some kind of
John Travolta disease?Copy !req
201. Alright, children,
let's just try to pretendCopy !req
202. there isn't a little boy in a
huge plastic hamster ball hereCopy !req
203. and go on
with our studies.Copy !req
204. Now, who can tell me when
Columbus sailed the seasCopy !req
205. and discovered America?Copy !req
206. Yes, Mark?Copy !req
207. Ay! How come you
never pick me?Copy !req
208. Because you never know the
right answer, butt-for-brains.Copy !req
209. Yes, Mark?Copy !req
210. The answer is 1492.Copy !req
211. However, the Americas had
already been discoveredCopy !req
212. by many before him,Copy !req
213. including the Vikings
and the Native Americans,Copy !req
214. and therefore your
question is a charade.Copy !req
215. Aw, see, that's what
I was gonna say!Copy !req
216. Very impressive, Mark.Copy !req
217. You should be able to
throw the grading curveCopy !req
218. and flunk all
these little bastards.Copy !req
219. Oh God, this kid's gonna
last about five secondsCopy !req
220. out on the
playground.Copy !req
221. Now, who can tell me what
country Columbus was from?Copy !req
222. Put your hand down,
cream puff.Copy !req
223. That does it!Copy !req
224. I do not need to sit here
and be ridiculed!Copy !req
225. I'm gonna be home-schooled
from now on!Copy !req
226. You don't wanna be
home-schooled, fat ass.Copy !req
227. I'm gonna be home-schooledCopy !req
228. and leave all the pain and suffering
of public school behind me!Copy !req
229. Screw you, guys...
I'm gonna be home-schooled.Copy !req
230. Oh please God,
let it be forever.Copy !req
231. Come on, Pip, say it,
say "please hit me."Copy !req
232. But if I say that,
you'll hit me!Copy !req
233. No, I'm gonna hit you
if you don't say it.Copy !req
234. If you say "please hit me,"
I won't hit you.Copy !req
235. "Please hit me."Copy !req
236. Alright.
- Ow!Copy !req
237. Alright, let's
try this again, Pip...Copy !req
238. I don't understand.Copy !req
239. You seem to
like that boy,Copy !req
240. yet hate him
at the same time.Copy !req
241. Hey, kid, get out of
that hamster ball.Copy !req
242. Oh, I promised
my father I wouldn't.Copy !req
243. Oh, boy.Copy !req
244. Sorry, dude,
you're on your own.Copy !req
245. You best do what he says,
home-school kid.Copy !req
246. Why this is our part
of the playground, see,Copy !req
247. and if you don't
follow our rules,Copy !req
248. we're gonna duct-tape
ya to a bench.Copy !req
249. You mean you would actually duct
tape my entire body to a bench?Copy !req
250. For what purpose?Copy !req
251. Just get out
of the hamster ballCopy !req
252. or else you're
gonna find out!Copy !req
253. Have a nice second half
of the day, nerdo.Copy !req
254. Yeah, why... why, you shouldn't
be such a smart mouthCopy !req
255. Mr. Know-It-All.Copy !req
256. Oh, dear.Copy !req
257. Oh, where could he be?Copy !req
258. He should have been home
from the public school by now!Copy !req
259. I'm sure
he's alright.Copy !req
260. That must be him!Copy !req
261. Aaaaaaaaaaghhh!Copy !req
262. Oh my God, son!Copy !req
263. Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.Copy !req
264. Mark, what have they
done to you?Copy !req
265. Well, they duct-taped
me to a bench.Copy !req
266. But why?Copy !req
267. I don't know, Mother.Copy !req
268. It didn't make
any sense at all.Copy !req
269. Well, you see?Copy !req
270. This is what happens
at public schools!Copy !req
271. But I want to
go back tomorrow, Papa.Copy !req
272. What?Copy !req
273. Please, just give me
one more day.Copy !req
274. What do we do?Copy !req
275. Well, if we're going to
let him go back...Copy !req
276. It looks like I need
to have a little talkCopy !req
277. with those other
boys' fathers!Copy !req
278. Uh... good evening, gentlemen.Copy !req
279. If I could have your attention
for a few moments...Copy !req
280. My son Mark was beat up
in school today, by your sons.Copy !req
281. I think it would be appropriate
for you to talk with your sons,Copy !req
282. and instruct them to no longer
tease or bother my boy.Copy !req
283. Look, Mr...Copy !req
284. Cotswolds.Copy !req
285. Mr. Cotswolds, we can't
completely controlCopy !req
286. what our kids
do socially.Copy !req
287. That's for them to
figure out on their own.Copy !req
288. Well, obviously they need to be
to be coached a little better.Copy !req
289. And furthermore, your son has
been harassing my little girl.Copy !req
290. I would like you
to tell him to stop.Copy !req
291. Hey, my son is just
discovering love.Copy !req
292. Maybe your
daughter is, too.Copy !req
293. They need to know
about that stuff.Copy !req
294. Oh, hello?Copy !req
295. My girl is
eight years old!Copy !req
296. What does she need to
know about love?Copy !req
297. Well, something.Copy !req
298. I mean, you can't just
wait until she's a teenagerCopy !req
299. and expect her to figure out
everything all at once.Copy !req
300. I will not tell you
how to raise your childrenCopy !req
301. and you will not tell me
how to raise mine.Copy !req
302. You want a beer
or something, Catswall?Copy !req
303. No, I don't drink beer.Copy !req
304. I just like
wine coolers.Copy !req
305. You what!Copy !req
306. See ya, Cotswolds,
thanks for stopping by.Copy !req
307. Yeah, see ya.Copy !req
308. I can't even get her
to understand.Copy !req
309. It's like she's
from another planet.Copy !req
310. Can I sit here
with you?Copy !req
311. Oh man,
if you have to.Copy !req
312. Attention students.Copy !req
313. Don't forget that
this Friday night isCopy !req
314. the South Park Elementary
"Bay of Pigs Memorial Dance".Copy !req
315. We will have a very special band
performing so please come early.Copy !req
316. Hey, that's it,
the dance!Copy !req
317. I can ask Rebecca
to go to the dance!Copy !req
318. Dude what
happened to you?Copy !req
319. You're a total
wuss now!Copy !req
320. Ha ha!Copy !req
321. Mrfm frm mrm!Copy !req
322. Why do you call Kyle names
and laugh at him?Copy !req
323. Is he not
your friend?Copy !req
324. Yeah, dude, but guys
just do that.Copy !req
325. We rip on each other
and stuff.Copy !req
326. I see—it's like you have to
mark your territory as a boy.Copy !req
327. You have to socially
find your place.Copy !req
328. What?Copy !req
329. Enjoying your
lunch, nerd-o?Copy !req
330. Ah, sticks and stones
may break my bonesCopy !req
331. but words will
never harm me!Copy !req
332. Oh, dude,
you don't say that!Copy !req
333. Huh?Copy !req
334. Get him!Copy !req
335. Boy, that kid's having a hard
time adjusting to public school.Copy !req
336. Yeah, I wonder how Cartman is
doing with his home-schooling.Copy !req
337. Uhhh... seriously...Copy !req
338. Uhhh...Copy !req
339. Hon, are you ready
for some math problems?Copy !req
340. Oh, not right
this second, Mother.Copy !req
341. Put them there
by the door.Copy !req
342. Oh, alright.Copy !req
343. Mom...Copy !req
344. Yes, hon?Copy !req
345. Could you turn up
the heat just a little?Copy !req
346. Sure, hon.Copy !req
347. Uhhhh...Copy !req
348. Dude, home-schooling
rules!Copy !req
349. Yes!Copy !req
350. Oh, hello.Copy !req
351. Oh! Uh... Rebecca!Copy !req
352. There's this dance, see...
at the school... and, um—Copy !req
353. Hey, would you like to
come up to my room?Copy !req
354. Huh?Copy !req
355. Would you like to
come up to my room?Copy !req
356. Uh... okay?Copy !req
357. I'm sorry, Son, there's nothing
we can do to stop those bullies.Copy !req
358. We have to pull you
out of public school.Copy !req
359. Oh, Papa... can I at least
go to the dance tomorrow?Copy !req
360. Alright, you can go.Copy !req
361. But I'll be there
to supervise.Copy !req
362. Alright...Copy !req
363. Mark, where is your sister?Copy !req
364. She's upstairs playing doctor
with that Kyle boy.Copy !req
365. Oh, alright.Copy !req
366. What?Copy !req
367. Rebecca?Copy !req
368. Don't play his
perverted games!Copy !req
369. I have to extirpate a lesion
in his cerebral cortexCopy !req
370. or risk infection to
the synaptic responses.Copy !req
371. Uh... alright, Rebecca,Copy !req
372. but it's time to start
your home-schooling.Copy !req
373. Rebecca, there's
this dance, see.Copy !req
374. The South Park Elementary
Bay of Pigs Memorial Dance.Copy !req
375. And I was wondering,
if you want to go.Copy !req
376. Hmmm... alright,
I guess I'll go.Copy !req
377. You will?Copy !req
378. I guess.Copy !req
379. Are you gonna go?
Maybe I'll see you there.Copy !req
380. No, no... I mean...
go with me.Copy !req
381. Oh I'm sure Father
will give me a ride.Copy !req
382. Aaahh..Copy !req
383. Ughhhh...Copy !req
384. Eric, I got you
a new history textbook.Copy !req
385. Why don't you
come downstairs?Copy !req
386. Waaaaghhh...
not right now, Mom.Copy !req
387. Eric, please, we have to
do some studying today.Copy !req
388. I am studying, Mom.Copy !req
389. I'm learning with
the Fonics Monkey.Copy !req
390. Mach maaach, mach!Copy !req
391. Waaaaghhh...Copy !req
392. Hey, fat ass, how's
home-schooling going?Copy !req
393. Oh, it's so
sweet, you guys.Copy !req
394. Well get your ass
out of bed,Copy !req
395. we have to go deal
with that home-school kid.Copy !req
396. I can't,
I'm too tired.Copy !req
397. Maybe tomorrow.Copy !req
398. But the big dance
is tomorrowCopy !req
399. and all the guys are going to
duct-tape him to a flagpole.Copy !req
400. That sounds cool,
maybe I'll go to that.Copy !req
401. No, Fonics Monkey!Copy !req
402. Wach wach waaaaach!
- No, Fonics Monkey!Copy !req
403. That's a bad
Fonics Monkey!Copy !req
404. Wach wach waaaach!Copy !req
405. Oh my God, Fonics Monkey
killed Kenny!Copy !req
406. You're damn
straight he did.Copy !req
407. You got my note?Copy !req
408. Of course, you
taped it to my dog,Copy !req
409. how could
I not see it?Copy !req
410. Uhh... can we sit down?Copy !req
411. Why not?Copy !req
412. Isn't Papa's
garden beautiful?Copy !req
413. He works
so hard on it.Copy !req
414. Rebecca... don't you
ever look at the town?Copy !req
415. At that flicker of light
over there?Copy !req
416. I have looked at it.Copy !req
417. Well, that's
a public school.Copy !req
418. And in it, there are
children, just like us.Copy !req
419. How can children go to school
on a flicker of light?Copy !req
420. From public school, your house
is just a flicker of light.Copy !req
421. Don't you
want to go out?Copy !req
422. All you do is stay
in your house and study.Copy !req
423. What else would one do?Copy !req
424. Love...
for one thing.Copy !req
425. And what is love?Copy !req
426. Love... Is the most
important thing on Earth.Copy !req
427. When boys and
girls feel love...Copy !req
428. they kiss.Copy !req
429. What means "kiss"?Copy !req
430. When a man and
a woman feel loveCopy !req
431. they put their
lips together.Copy !req
432. Oh, you mean a mate?Copy !req
433. When it is time to
increase the herd,Copy !req
434. my provider will
select one for me.Copy !req
435. Rebecca, in public school,
we select our own mate.Copy !req
436. In public school,
men and women get together,Copy !req
437. make each other happy.Copy !req
438. You certainly come
from a silly place.Copy !req
439. Still, I should like
to try this... kiss.Copy !req
440. So I could
write about it.Copy !req
441. How do we do it?Copy !req
442. I'm not completely sure.Copy !req
443. Should we...
look it up?Copy !req
444. No, I think its just something
you have to try a few timesCopy !req
445. until you...
get it... right.Copy !req
446. Mmmm...Copy !req
447. Wow!Copy !req
448. Wow, that was fun!Copy !req
449. Does that—Copy !req
450. does that mean you'll
go to the dance?Copy !req
451. You bet your
sweet ass I will!Copy !req
452. Alright, here's the plan.Copy !req
453. Tomorrow night
at the dance,Copy !req
454. when none of the
chaperones are looking,Copy !req
455. you guys go grab Mark, bring him out hereCopy !req
456. and then we're gonna duct tape
him to this flagpole.Copy !req
457. Are you sure?Copy !req
458. He could be out here all
night on the flagpole.Copy !req
459. That's the point, buttpipe!Copy !req
460. Don't call me
a buttpipe, buttpipe!Copy !req
461. Well, come on, we gotta go
buy us some more duct tape!Copy !req
462. Hooray!Copy !req
463. Alright, here's the plan:Copy !req
464. all we gotta to is volunteer
to chaperone the dance tomorrow.Copy !req
465. Why do we all wanna
chaperone the dance?Copy !req
466. Because Cotswolds
is gonna be there.Copy !req
467. And we he shows up,
we all grab him,Copy !req
468. bring him out here...Copy !req
469. and duct tape him
to the flagpole!Copy !req
470. The flagpole,
that's great!Copy !req
471. Come on we gotta buy
more duct tape!Copy !req
472. Alright!Copy !req
473. Dude, we're gonna go duct tape
that Mark kid to the bleachers,Copy !req
474. you wanna help?Copy !req
475. I can't.Copy !req
476. I have to wait for
Rebecca to show up.Copy !req
477. Oh, brother!Copy !req
478. Don't you
oh brother me!Copy !req
479. She's the woman
of my dreams!Copy !req
480. You suck now, Kyle.Copy !req
481. You suck!Copy !req
482. Boys and girls can I
have your attention please?Copy !req
483. This year we have a very
special guest performingCopy !req
484. at the South Park Elementary
Bay of Pigs Memorial Dance.Copy !req
485. He was a musical force
in the Seventies and Eighties.Copy !req
486. Please welcome...
Ronni James Dio!Copy !req
487. Are you ready to rock,
boys and girls?Copy !req
488. I said...
are you ready to rock?Copy !req
489. Uh, sure, I guess.Copy !req
490. Then let's hit it!Copy !req
491. I know you'll all
remember this one.Copy !req
492. It's off my
first solo album.Copy !req
493. The song that you all
helped me make number one!Copy !req
494. Hey, there he is,
there's the home-school kid!Copy !req
495. Come on, let's go duct tape him
to the flag pole.Copy !req
496. Hey, isn't that the
home-school kid's sister?Copy !req
497. Hi, guys!Copy !req
498. Holy cow!Copy !req
499. Hey, baby,
come see me later, 'kay?Copy !req
500. What the—
damn, baby!Copy !req
501. Hey, Kyle,
wanna go make out?Copy !req
502. Rebecca... you...Copy !req
503. Rebecca, what the
devil are you doing?Copy !req
504. I'm having fun, Mark!Copy !req
505. Oh, goodness!Copy !req
506. You're out of control!Copy !req
507. You did this
to my sister!Copy !req
508. Uh... all I did was
show her how to—Copy !req
509. You made my sister
into a slut!Copy !req
510. I'll kill you!Copy !req
511. Aaaghgh!Copy !req
512. You bitch!Copy !req
513. I'm gonna whoop
your bitch-ass!Copy !req
514. Oh my God!Copy !req
515. Dude, he's kicking
the crap out of Kyle!Copy !req
516. Yeah, he's
a bad-ass!Copy !req
517. Alright, alright,
that's enough, boys!Copy !req
518. I'm not through
with you, bitch!Copy !req
519. Hey, you're
pretty cool, Mark.Copy !req
520. Yeah, that was
real bad-assCopy !req
521. how you stood up
for your sister.Copy !req
522. I'd a kicked Kyle's
bitch-ass too.Copy !req
523. You wanna have grab
some cake with me?Copy !req
524. No, he's my friend!Copy !req
525. He said he'd
hang out with me!Copy !req
526. They've got to
be here somewhere!Copy !req
527. Hey, there's Cotswolds!Copy !req
528. Come on, let's duct-tape him
to the flagpole!Copy !req
529. Yeah!Copy !req
530. Where are my children?Copy !req
531. I'm taking them out of
this God-forsaken place!Copy !req
532. Calm down, Papa.Copy !req
533. Everything is alright.Copy !req
534. You see, I've learned
something today.Copy !req
535. Public schools may be a bit
lacking in education,Copy !req
536. but it's the main place
where children learnCopy !req
537. all of their
social skills.Copy !req
538. You can't teach a child
social skills,Copy !req
539. they have to learn them
themselves,Copy !req
540. and the only place to do that
is on the playgroundCopy !req
541. in the cafeteria
and so on.Copy !req
542. Don't you see, Papa?Copy !req
543. That's what happened
to your daughter.Copy !req
544. You tried so hard to keep her
from anything sexual,Copy !req
545. and now look at her,
she's a Goddamned whore, Papa!Copy !req
546. Wow, she sure is.Copy !req
547. I know letting your kids out
into the world is scary.Copy !req
548. I know you wish nothing bad
would ever happen to us.Copy !req
549. But bad things will happen,Copy !req
550. and we have to
start learning nowCopy !req
551. how to deal with
those things.Copy !req
552. Mark... you're
absolutely right...Copy !req
553. Okay, children,
if it's what you want,Copy !req
554. you can start going
to public school!Copy !req
555. Alright!Copy !req
556. Nice speech, nerd-o.Copy !req
557. Thanks, gay wad.Copy !req
558. Now you're
getting it!Copy !req
559. Well, come on guys,
if I'm not mistakenCopy !req
560. we still have someone to
duct-tape to the flag pole!Copy !req
561. Hooray!Copy !req
562. What?Copy !req
563. See ya, Papa!Copy !req
564. Well, I'm glad we all
learned something today, kids.Copy !req
565. Now let's dance!Copy !req