1. What a great episode.Copy !req
2. Yep, and we're back
just in time to check upCopy !req
3. on Northern Wyoming bacon loaf.Copy !req
4. Say, that looks
bacon-licious.Copy !req
5. Now all we have to do
is garnish.Copy !req
6. Hey, Macon's going crazy.Copy !req
7. Hold on, buddy.
This one's for you.Copy !req
8. Okay.Copy !req
9. Here's a nice fresh bacon loaf,
just for Macon.Copy !req
10. Whoa, hold on there, buddy.Copy !req
11. Not too fast now.
Okay, all right, hey.Copy !req
12. - Well, all that bacon grease
can't go to waste,Copy !req
13. so what I do is, I pour it into
ice pop makers, like this.Copy !req
14. - That's right, you see,
bacon grease congeals,Copy !req
15. so if you pour it in
and you wait long enough...Copy !req
16. bacon pops!Copy !req
17. Who'd like to try one?Copy !req
18. You, come on up.Copy !req
19. Come over here, you.
Do you like bacon?Copy !req
20. Yeah.
- Well, give that a try.Copy !req
21. How is it?
- It's bacon-licious.Copy !req
22. Well, now it's time to watch
our favorite episodeCopy !req
23. of "South Park."
It's called "Chickenpox."Copy !req
24. You see, chickenpox affects you
worse the older you get.Copy !req
25. So when I was young, my mom
would make me sleep overCopy !req
26. at friends' houses when they
had chickenpoxCopy !req
27. in hopes that I would get
the dreaded diseaseCopy !req
28. while I was still a child.Copy !req
29. Well, in this episode,
the boysCopy !req
30. also learn a valuable lessonCopy !req
31. when they hire a prostitute
with cold soresCopy !req
32. to give their parents herpes.Copy !req
33. So grab a bacon pop, sit back,
and enjoy...Copy !req
34. "Chickenpox."Copy !req
35. It's a good thing we got her
to the hospital in time.Copy !req
36. But what's wrong with her?
- It's chickenpox.Copy !req
37. There seems to be
a small epidemic going around.Copy !req
38. Your daughter never had
the chickenpoxCopy !req
39. as a little girl, I take it?Copy !req
40. No, no,
she's been perfectly healthy.Copy !req
41. Well, that's the problem.Copy !req
42. You see chickenpox
is a pretty normal thingCopy !req
43. with young children,
but as you get olderCopy !req
44. it becomes more and more
a ferocious disease.Copy !req
45. Shelley,
looks who's come to visit you.Copy !req
46. Your little brother Stan.Copy !req
47. Oh, whoopee!Copy !req
48. You know, most people
don't realizeCopy !req
49. that chickenpox is actually
a form of herpes.Copy !req
50. Dude,
you got herpes on your face!Copy !req
51. Shut up, brat!Copy !req
52. Will my daughter be okay?Copy !req
53. She'll be fine.Copy !req
54. Stop it!Copy !req
55. We just want to be cautious
and monitor her here.Copy !req
56. Come on, Stanley,
give your sister a kiss,Copy !req
57. and then we have to go.Copy !req
58. And then the doctor said thatCopy !req
59. it's much worse
as you get older.Copy !req
60. My daughter is
in pretty bad shape now,Copy !req
61. but if she were in her 20s,
she could die!Copy !req
62. My God,
I never knew the chickenpoxCopy !req
63. was such a dangerous illness.Copy !req
64. I guess it's much better
to get it when you're young.Copy !req
65. So tell me if I'm crazy but I
started thinking that we shouldCopy !req
66. intentionally have our boys
play with a childCopy !req
67. who has the chickenpox.Copy !req
68. Let them get it now
while they're young.Copy !req
69. That's not crazy at all,
Sharon.Copy !req
70. Mothers do it all the time.Copy !req
71. Ooh yes, when I was a child,
my mother had me go overCopy !req
72. to a little girl's house
who had the chickenpoxCopy !req
73. just so I would get it.Copy !req
74. So it's not such
a crazy idea after all.Copy !req
75. No, no!
And I'm pretty sure thatCopy !req
76. strange little boy Kenny
has the chickenpox right now.Copy !req
77. Are you guys having
a meeting or something?Copy !req
78. How would you boys like to
have a little slumber partyCopy !req
79. at your little friend Kenny's
house tonight?Copy !req
80. No way dude,
Kenny's family is poor.Copy !req
81. They live in the ghetto.Copy !req
82. Yeah, let's just
have a slumber party here.Copy !req
83. Boys, you're going to
sleep overCopy !req
84. at Kenny's, and that's final.Copy !req
85. Oh, weak!Copy !req
86. I wonder why our moms
want us to sleep overCopy !req
87. at Kenny's so bad.
- Yeah, it's pretty weird.Copy !req
88. - Well, all I can say is
he better have Nintendo.Copy !req
89. Well, here's Kenny's house.Copy !req
90. Yeah?Copy !req
91. We're here to have a slumber
party with Kenny.Copy !req
92. What? Don't you know
Kenny's sick with—Copy !req
93. That's the whole point,
remember?Copy !req
94. Their moms want them to catch
it while they're young.Copy !req
95. Oh, yeah.
- Catch what?Copy !req
96. Nothing. Come on in.
I was just making dinner.Copy !req
97. Shh! Cartman!
- What?Copy !req
98. Kenny!
Your little friends are here!Copy !req
99. Come play with them!Copy !req
100. I know you're sick.
Now get your buns out here!Copy !req
101. Buns.Copy !req
102. Hey, you guys,
what's going on?Copy !req
103. Whoa dude! You got herpes
on your face too!Copy !req
104. Where is the Nintendo?Copy !req
105. We don't have a Nintendo.Copy !req
106. We got a ColecoVision plugged
in to the black and white TV.Copy !req
107. Oh, my God, this is like
a third-world country.Copy !req
108. Throw your sleeping bags
in Kenny's roomCopy !req
109. and then come grab some dinner.Copy !req
110. Oh good, I'm starving.Copy !req
111. Let's say grace.Copy !req
112. Lord, we thank you
for this staggering payloadCopy !req
113. of frozen waffles
you have bestowed upon us.Copy !req
114. And since we have been faithful
to you,Copy !req
115. we know that you will send us
some good fortuneCopy !req
116. one of these days, even though
you sure as hellCopy !req
117. seem to be taking your
sweet time.Copy !req
118. Amen.
Amen.Copy !req
119. Okay, let's dig in.Copy !req
120. That one's mine!
That one's mine!Copy !req
121. What kind of side dishes will
we be enjoying this eveningCopy !req
122. with our frozen waffles?Copy !req
123. Am I to understand
there will be no side dishes?Copy !req
124. - So Kyle,
your dad still bringing homeCopy !req
125. those big, fat lawyer paychecks?Copy !req
126. I don't know.
- Stewart,Copy !req
127. don't even get started.Copy !req
128. What?
I'm just asking a question.Copy !req
129. You know your dad and I
used to be best friendsCopy !req
130. when we were teenagers.Copy !req
131. We even worked together
at Pizza Shack.Copy !req
132. But he got promoted, went off
to community college,Copy !req
133. and I didn't.Copy !req
134. And you know why?Copy !req
135. 'Cause your dad's Jewish!Copy !req
136. Heh.
I heard that.Copy !req
137. That ain't why, Stewart!Copy !req
138. It's because you are
an alcoholic retard,Copy !req
139. and he had dreams of not
eating frozen wafflesCopy !req
140. for dinner every night!Copy !req
141. Hey, is it my fault
you don't know how to cook?Copy !req
142. What am I supposed to do
with frozen waffles, clamhead?Copy !req
143. You put 'em in the toaster,
you cook em!Copy !req
144. You just don't know
how to use spices and stuff.Copy !req
145. My waffle's done!
My waffle's done!Copy !req
146. - Now, Kevin, we ain't
got enough for everybody.Copy !req
147. You have to split that
with your brother.Copy !req
148. Oh Jesus,
are you fucking kidding me?Copy !req
149. Hey! We don't say fuck
at the table,Copy !req
150. you little asshole!Copy !req
151. Yeah, we apparently
don't say "side dishes" either.Copy !req
152. Kenny, honey,Copy !req
153. if you're gonna sneeze,
sneeze on them.Copy !req
154. Huh?Copy !req
155. Hey!Copy !req
156. Man, your family sucks ass,
Kenny.Copy !req
157. Whoever heard
of frozen waffles for dinner?Copy !req
158. Come on, let's just get
in our sleeping bagsCopy !req
159. and get this night over with.Copy !req
160. Cartman, what the hell
is that?Copy !req
161. It's my Urkel sleeping bag.
Isn't it cool?Copy !req
162. No, it's not cool!Copy !req
163. Dude,
I think I just saw a rat.Copy !req
164. Ah! You have rats
in your house, too, Kenny?Copy !req
165. Mm-hmm.
- Dude, seriously,Copy !req
166. you better stop being so poorCopy !req
167. or else I'm gonna start
hocking rocks at ya.Copy !req
168. I don't think it's very
healthy to sleep with rats.Copy !req
169. Oh.Copy !req
170. Okay, let me see.Copy !req
171. Oh, goody, you've got a fever!Copy !req
172. Goody?
What do you mean goody?Copy !req
173. Yep, it looks like you've
got chickenpox, all right.Copy !req
174. Chickenp—Oh no!Copy !req
175. I must've caught it
from Kenny last night.Copy !req
176. Oh gee, I guess you did.Copy !req
177. Well, you sure seem
happy about it.Copy !req
178. All right, it's off to bed
with you, young man.Copy !req
179. Don't scratch it, hon.Copy !req
180. But, Mom, seriously,
it itches.Copy !req
181. I can't stand it!Copy !req
182. No, hon.
- Mom, seriously!Copy !req
183. I got you some
calamine lotion.Copy !req
184. I don't wanna!Copy !req
185. It'll make your itches
go away.Copy !req
186. Ahh.
Hey, give me that!Copy !req
187. - Not too much, hon.Copy !req
188. It says on the bottle
that too much can be bad.Copy !req
189. More calamine lotion!Copy !req
190. I don't understand it,
he's perfectly healthy.Copy !req
191. Yeah, I feel great.Copy !req
192. Are you sure you stayed over
at Kenny's house?Copy !req
193. Yeah dude. I told you we had
bread sandwiches for breakfast.Copy !req
194. Did you sleep in
the same room?Copy !req
195. Yes, why?Copy !req
196. Bubie, how would you like
to spend the nightCopy !req
197. at your friend Kenny's house
again?Copy !req
198. No way, dude, it sucked ass.Copy !req
199. They didn't even have cable.Copy !req
200. Well, I think you need to
spend more timeCopy !req
201. with your friends.Copy !req
202. Kenny's not really my friend,
Ma.Copy !req
203. I don't give a rat's ass
about him.Copy !req
204. I'm gonna give
Mrs. McCormick a call.Copy !req
205. Ahh.
Hey dad, is it trueCopy !req
206. that you and Kenny's dad
used to be best friendsCopy !req
207. when you were young?Copy !req
208. Who Stewart?
Yeah, yeah, I guess we were.Copy !req
209. Well, how come Kenny's familyCopy !req
210. eats frozen waffles for dinner
and has rats on the floor,Copy !req
211. and we have a big house
and lots of food?Copy !req
212. - Well, because Kenny's familyCopy !req
213. doesn't have as much money
as we do.Copy !req
214. But why?
If they're hungry and poor,Copy !req
215. why don't we just always
give them half of our food?Copy !req
216. Oh, boy, have you got
a lot to learn.Copy !req
217. Sit down, son.Copy !req
218. You see, Kyle, we humans
work as a society.Copy !req
219. And in order for a society
to thrive,Copy !req
220. we need Gods and clods.Copy !req
221. Gods and clods?
- Yes.Copy !req
222. You see, I spent a lot of time
going to law schoolCopy !req
223. and I was able to go
because I haveCopy !req
224. a slightly higher intellect
than others.Copy !req
225. But I still need people
to pump my gasCopy !req
226. and make my French friesCopy !req
227. and fix my laundry machine
when it breaks down.Copy !req
228. Oh, I see.
Gods and clods.Copy !req
229. That's right,
so Kenny's familyCopy !req
230. is happy just the way they are.Copy !req
231. And we're all
a functioning part of America.Copy !req
232. Stanley,
can I get you anything else?Copy !req
233. Stanley? Oh my God.Copy !req
234. Randy! Randy, hurry!
He's burning up!Copy !req
235. Don't you worry, Stanley;
you're going to be okay.Copy !req
236. Can I talk to you outside?Copy !req
237. Kids, Daddy and I
are gonna be right back, okay?Copy !req
238. Okay.
- Serves you right,Copy !req
239. you little brat.Copy !req
240. At least I'm not gonna die
from it like you might!Copy !req
241. If I die from this,Copy !req
242. I'm taking you with me!Copy !req
243. Will Carol find out
she's a fireman?Copy !req
244. I don't wanna watch this.Copy !req
245. I wanna watch
"Terrance & Phillip."Copy !req
246. - We're watching this.Copy !req
247. Well, I've got the remote,
bitch!Copy !req
248. Say, Terrance, would you
check my ass for abnormalities?Copy !req
249. Sure thing, Phillip.Copy !req
250. You got me again!Copy !req
251. That's tomfoolery.Copy !req
252. Give me the remote.
- No way, dude.Copy !req
253. We're gonna watch
"Terrance & Phillip" all day.Copy !req
254. Hey! Get me outta here!Copy !req
255. She was a—
- He'll be okay.Copy !req
256. But it's a good idea for us
to monitor him for a while.Copy !req
257. Oh God, what have we done?Copy !req
258. There, there now,
it's not your fault.Copy !req
259. Doctor, we purposely sent
our son to stay with a friendCopy !req
260. who had chickenpox
so that he would get it early.Copy !req
261. Ooh, wow, you did?Copy !req
262. Wow, you guys suck.Copy !req
263. Can we go home now, Mom?Copy !req
264. No bubula,
you play with Kenny some more.Copy !req
265. But we've been playing
for 8 hours!Copy !req
266. We can't think
of anything else to do.Copy !req
267. I've got a great game
for you!Copy !req
268. It's called Ookie Mouth.
- What's Ookie Mouth?Copy !req
269. First you let Kenny spit
in your mouth.Copy !req
270. Then you try to swallow
his spitCopy !req
271. and try to say "Ookie Mouth"
at the same time.Copy !req
272. Sick, dude!
- No, no, boobie.Copy !req
273. It's loads of fun.
Try it!Copy !req
274. That outta take care of it.Copy !req
275. You want some more hot water?Copy !req
276. Oh no thank you.
It's terrific, though.Copy !req
277. You don't have any teabags
or coffee groundsCopy !req
278. to go in the hot water do you?Copy !req
279. No, we don't care for that
hoity-toity, rich folk stuff.Copy !req
280. I see; well, you certainly
have a humble home,Copy !req
281. Mrs. McCormick.Copy !req
282. Yeah, well, unfortunately
my husbandCopy !req
283. is a washed-up hunk of shit!Copy !req
284. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.Copy !req
285. Gross!
I can't do it, Ma!Copy !req
286. Try again, bubie!Copy !req
287. Ahh!Copy !req
288. You know, your husband
and mineCopy !req
289. used to work together
as teenagers.Copy !req
290. Oh, they was best friends.
You couldn't separate 'em.Copy !req
291. Really?Copy !req
292. I met Gerald in college,
so I didn't know.Copy !req
293. What happened to them?Copy !req
294. Oh, they just
grew apart, I guess.Copy !req
295. I think Stewart's a little
jealous that your husband gotCopy !req
296. out of making pizzas
and went onCopy !req
297. to make something of hisself.Copy !req
298. Well, that's too bad.Copy !req
299. I'm sure your husband
is a fine man.Copy !req
300. Oh, hell no.
He's a nugget of deer turd.Copy !req
301. But if they were such
good friends,Copy !req
302. it seems silly that they don't
even talk anymore.Copy !req
303. Let's get them together.
- I don't know.Copy !req
304. We'll just arrange
a little fishing tripCopy !req
305. for them or something.Copy !req
306. I can't say "Ookie Mouth"
and have KennyCopy !req
307. spit down my throat
at the same time.Copy !req
308. It's impossible.Copy !req
309. Practice makes perfect,
boobie.Copy !req
310. God damn it,
where's that calamine lotion?Copy !req
311. Phillip,
I got good news and bad news.Copy !req
312. Give it to me straight,
Terrance.Copy !req
313. The good news is you
have a clean bill of health.Copy !req
314. Oh, what a relief!Copy !req
315. The bad news is
you have cancer.Copy !req
316. Cancer?Copy !req
317. Yes, I'm afraid
your ass is collapsing.Copy !req
318. My ass is collapsing!Copy !req
319. Yes. See this x-ray?
That's your ass.Copy !req
320. See that line?
That's your ass collapsing.Copy !req
321. Your ass is collapsing!Copy !req
322. Will this mean I won't
be able to fart anymore?Copy !req
323. No, it means you won't be
able to live anymore.Copy !req
324. Oh, no.Copy !req
325. Damn it!Copy !req
326. - No, kitty that's a—
wait a minute.Copy !req
327. Come here, kitty.Copy !req
328. Yes, yes.Copy !req
329. I'm back, hon. I got some
more calamine lotion.Copy !req
330. It's about friggin' time!
Give me that!Copy !req
331. Just use a little bit
of that stuff, hon.Copy !req
332. It has to last a while.Copy !req
333. Gimme.Copy !req
334. Gimme.Copy !req
335. Yes...Copy !req
336. Oh, you guys, seriously...Copy !req
337. I didn't know you
liked to fish, Gerry.Copy !req
338. Oh yeah, I love it.Copy !req
339. I haven't done it
for a while, though.Copy !req
340. I had to run out
a buy a few things.Copy !req
341. You know, a rod and a reel
and a...Copy !req
342. Tackle box?
- Yeah! Tackle box.Copy !req
343. Man, smell that mountain air.Copy !req
344. What a great Saturday morning.
Aren't weekends just the best?Copy !req
345. When you're unemployed,
weekends are meaningless.Copy !req
346. Right, right, right.Copy !req
347. And so, children,
that's how you tellCopy !req
348. a prostitute from a policeman.Copy !req
349. Now, are there any questions?Copy !req
350. Yes, Kyle.Copy !req
351. What the hell does that have
to do with American history?Copy !req
352. That's a good question, Kyle.Copy !req
353. Are there any other questions?Copy !req
354. Mr. Garrison,
I'm the only one here.Copy !req
355. Everyone else has
chicken herpes.Copy !req
356. Right, right.Copy !req
357. Well, class, I'm gonna assign
you all a paper.Copy !req
358. The theme of the paper will beCopy !req
359. "How I would
make America better."Copy !req
360. What? Does everybody
have to do it or just me?Copy !req
361. Don't worry, Kyle,
I'm sending homeworkCopy !req
362. to all the children
who are out sick.Copy !req
363. They'll have
to turn in a paper, too.Copy !req
364. Homework?
But I'm in the hospital!Copy !req
365. Well, your teacher sent this
stuff overCopy !req
366. for you to do while
you're sick.Copy !req
367. That son of a bitch!
What kind of sick weirdo is he?Copy !req
368. Now, Stanley,
I know at your ageCopy !req
369. teachers can seem
cold and heartless,Copy !req
370. but later you'll
understandCopy !req
371. that he did this
for your own good.Copy !req
372. Not Mr. Garrison, Ma.
He really is a sick weirdo.Copy !req
373. Yeah, it's true, he is.
- Oh.Copy !req
374. Well, anyway,
here's a pencil and some paper.Copy !req
375. Wait, where are you going?Copy !req
376. We're going down to, uh,
Happy BurgerCopy !req
377. for some milkshakes.
- Milkshakes?Copy !req
378. Yeah, and then
we're going to the movies.Copy !req
379. See ya, son.
- Weak.Copy !req
380. "So this is how America
works.Copy !req
381. "We have Gods and clods.Copy !req
382. "My dad says America needs
both rich and poor to survive,Copy !req
383. but I have a better idea."Copy !req
384. No, I don't understand it,
Dr. Schwartz;Copy !req
385. he's perfectly healthy.Copy !req
386. He's been over at Kenny's house
three days in a rowCopy !req
387. and still hasn't caught
the chickenpox.Copy !req
388. What?
- I don't know what else to do.Copy !req
389. We sent the other boys over
and they all got sick,Copy !req
390. but I can't get my little Kyle
to catch it.Copy !req
391. Oh, my God!
- Kyle!Copy !req
392. What are you doing there,
honey?Copy !req
393. You!Copy !req
394. I'll call you back,
Dr. Schwartz.Copy !req
395. You!
- What, bubula? What is it?Copy !req
396. You sent us over
to Kenny's house on purpose!Copy !req
397. You wanted us to get sick!Copy !req
398. Oy.
It was for your own good, Kyle.Copy !req
399. I wanted you to get chickenpox
while you were young.Copy !req
400. Why? So I could be sitting
in the hospitalCopy !req
401. waiting to die like Stan?Copy !req
402. Now, Kyle, come here.Copy !req
403. You get away from me,
you crazy woman!Copy !req
404. Oh boy.Copy !req
405. Beer?
- Huh?Copy !req
406. Oh, no thanks,
I brought my own.Copy !req
407. Microbrew sampler from Aspen.Copy !req
408. Has six different beers
from local breweries.Copy !req
409. Say, remember that time
we builtCopy !req
410. the fort in your
mom's backyard?Copy !req
411. Yeah.Copy !req
412. It took us damned near
two years to finish it.Copy !req
413. Whatever happened
to that old hunk of junk?Copy !req
414. That's where I live now.Copy !req
415. Oh, right.Copy !req
416. "And so that's why
'Nightrider'Copy !req
417. was the best show in America."Copy !req
418. Stan, Stan!
- Shh!Copy !req
419. Wake her up,
and we're both dead.Copy !req
420. Sorry, sorry, you know how
after we spent the nightCopy !req
421. at Kenny's house
and you and CartmanCopy !req
422. got sick with chickenpox?Copy !req
423. Yeah?
- Dude.Copy !req
424. Our parents sent us
over there to get us sick.Copy !req
425. What are you talking about?Copy !req
426. They knew that staying
at Kenny's houseCopy !req
427. would make us sick
and they made us do it anyway.Copy !req
428. They did?
- Yeah.Copy !req
429. And I think I figured out why.
- Why?Copy !req
430. Because they're
a bunch of assholes.Copy !req
431. Of course!Copy !req
432. Come on, dude,
we gotta get outta here.Copy !req
433. I don't know what they're
planning next,Copy !req
434. but it can't be good.Copy !req
435. "I hope that one dayCopy !req
436. "America can be more
like EndorCopy !req
437. "where the Ewoks live.Copy !req
438. Endor is very cool."Copy !req
439. Mom, answer that!Copy !req
440. "They have trees and Ewoks
and barbeques,Copy !req
441. "which is why I like Endor
more than America.Copy !req
442. It's... cool."Copy !req
443. Cartman, you remember how
we all spent the nightCopy !req
444. at Kenny's a couple of days
ago?Copy !req
445. I remember frozen waffles
with no side dishes.Copy !req
446. Cartman,
our parents sent us over thereCopy !req
447. to catch chickenpox from Kenny.Copy !req
448. Yeah, dude.Copy !req
449. Your mom wanted you to have
herpes on your face.Copy !req
450. She what?Copy !req
451. It's some kind
of parental conspiracy.Copy !req
452. Our parents are trying
to kill us or something.Copy !req
453. - That bitch!Copy !req
454. I'm gonna go downstairs and
kick her square in the nuts!Copy !req
455. - No, no, no, no.
Come on, fatass.Copy !req
456. We're gonna get em all back.Copy !req
457. Well, I'm sure you'll
find another job soon.Copy !req
458. Something will come along.Copy !req
459. It's not that easy.
You were lucky.Copy !req
460. Now now, I wasn't lucky.
- You had rich parents.Copy !req
461. You got to go to that
expensive community college.Copy !req
462. Hey! I worked my ass off
to get to where I am today.Copy !req
463. I wanted to be somebody!
- I wanted to be somebody, too!Copy !req
464. I just wasn't born
with a silver enema up my ass!Copy !req
465. You're just jealous!Copy !req
466. You're a bitter old drunk
just like your father!Copy !req
467. Oww!Copy !req
468. Now, don't make me
do that again.Copy !req
469. Oww!
You son of a bitch!Copy !req
470. Doctor?Copy !req
471. Yes.
- Where's Stan?Copy !req
472. Stan?Copy !req
473. Stan, our son.
- Oh, yes, where is Stan?Copy !req
474. You mean Stanley's missing?Copy !req
475. No no, he's not missing.Copy !req
476. We just—can't seem
to find him at this moment.Copy !req
477. Oh, my God, our son ran away!Copy !req
478. Will he be okay
out of the hospital?Copy !req
479. Oh, sure, sure.Copy !req
480. But we have to get him
back soon; if he doesn't getCopy !req
481. his antibiotic shot today,
he could die.Copy !req
482. Die?
- Yes, die.Copy !req
483. It won't be an easy death
either.Copy !req
484. The chickenpox will slowly move
down his tracheaCopy !req
485. into his lungs.Copy !req
486. Okay, well, let's go look.Copy !req
487. she chokes for breath,
the pox will moveCopy !req
488. through his inner ear
into his brainCopy !req
489. making him think
he's David Duchovny.Copy !req
490. Oh, God, no!Copy !req
491. I'm sure he couldn't
have gone far.Copy !req
492. Now moving on all fours
and wheezing uncontrollablyCopy !req
493. his cellular structure
will regressCopy !req
494. in a gelatinous mass of—Copy !req
495. So how was it? Did you boys
have a good time fishing?Copy !req
496. - That son of a bitch
ripped my parka!Copy !req
497. Catch anything?Copy !req
498. I just don't get it.Copy !req
499. Why would he invite me fishingCopy !req
500. and then turn into
a complete bastard?Copy !req
501. Well darling,
I have to tell you something.Copy !req
502. He didn't invite you;
I set the whole thing up.Copy !req
503. What?
Now, why the hell would youCopy !req
504. knowingly deceive me like that?Copy !req
505. I thought it
would be good for you.Copy !req
506. Just like you deceived
our sonCopy !req
507. into going to Kenny's,
and that didn't work either!Copy !req
508. I'm doing the best I can!Copy !req
509. "My Final Solution"
by Kyle Broflovski.Copy !req
510. My dad is the smartest guy
in the whole wide world.Copy !req
511. He has taught me that
all poor peopleCopy !req
512. are actually
things called clods.Copy !req
513. I wanna live in a world
of only Gods,Copy !req
514. so my idea to make
America better,Copy !req
515. is to put all
poor people into camps.Copy !req
516. What?
- If we get rid of them,Copy !req
517. there will be nothing
but rich people;Copy !req
518. and there won't be any hunger,
poverty, or homeless people,Copy !req
519. 'cause they'll all be dead.
The end.Copy !req
520. Oh, God, what have I done?Copy !req
521. What's happening here,
Terrance?Copy !req
522. We're doing
an anal transplant;Copy !req
523. it's our only hope.
- Who's the donor?Copy !req
524. I am Phillip. I am.Copy !req
525. Terrance, you're giving up
your ass for me?Copy !req
526. Just half my ass.
Can you believe it, Phillip?Copy !req
527. Here we are, best friends,Copy !req
528. and now we're going
to share the same ass.Copy !req
529. Oh damn it! Not now!Copy !req
530. Damn it!Copy !req
531. Children,
what are you doing here?Copy !req
532. Terrance and Phillip
are about to go into surgery!Copy !req
533. Chef, we wanna know
about herpes.Copy !req
534. What makes you think I would
know anything about that?Copy !req
535. I dunno, you're just
the only grownup we trust.Copy !req
536. How does someone get herpes?Copy !req
537. Well, you get it by
sharing relationsCopy !req
538. with somebody
who already has it.Copy !req
539. You have to be very careful
around someone who has herpes.Copy !req
540. - Do you know anybody
with herpes?Copy !req
541. Well, there's old Frida,
down on Main Street.Copy !req
542. She has a mouthful of herpes.Copy !req
543. You need to stay away from her.Copy !req
544. But what if we want
to give somebody herpes?Copy !req
545. Oh, then Frida's
the right person to go to.Copy !req
546. Cool!
Thanks, Chef!Copy !req
547. Okay!Copy !req
548. Wait a minute.
What the hell did I just do?Copy !req
549. Stanley?
- Stan?Copy !req
550. Oh, Stanley, where are you?Copy !req
551. Stan?
- Stanley!Copy !req
552. Are you old Frida?
- Who wants to know?Copy !req
553. Someone who wants a favor.Copy !req
554. Ten dollars a lay,
five dollars a nut.Copy !req
555. Huh?Copy !req
556. We want you to give
our parents herpes.Copy !req
557. Five dollars.Copy !req
558. My dad has $5
on top of his dresser.Copy !req
559. Stan you sound pretty sick.Copy !req
560. Maybe you should go back
to the hospital.Copy !req
561. And have Shelley kick my ass?
No thanks.Copy !req
562. Plus, I got to get my parents
back just as much as you do.Copy !req
563. Thanks a lot, Frida.Copy !req
564. Don't mention it.Copy !req
565. Dude, this is gonna be
so killer.Copy !req
566. They're all gonna get herpes.Copy !req
567. Hooray!Copy !req
568. Stanley,
where the hell have you been?Copy !req
569. Damn it, Stanley,
you had us worried sick!Copy !req
570. You have to get back
to the hospital for a shot.Copy !req
571. I don't wanna go back there.Copy !req
572. Come on, we're taking you
back to the hospital.Copy !req
573. Don't you guys feel
like brushing your teeth first?Copy !req
574. What?Copy !req
575. You know, freshen up
your breath.Copy !req
576. Oh man, I don't feel so good.Copy !req
577. Oh good, maybe you finally
caught the chicken—Copy !req
578. Kyle!Copy !req
579. Well, I hope you boys
learned your lesson.Copy !req
580. Going out and playing around
with chickenpoxCopy !req
581. almost killed you all.
- We're sorry.Copy !req
582. - Well, just be thankful
we got you here in time.Copy !req
583. Your parents are here
to see you.Copy !req
584. I'll send them in.
- This itches.Copy !req
585. Give me some of
that calamine lotion, Cartman.Copy !req
586. - Hell no,
you guys get your own.Copy !req
587. - Stanley, how are you feeling
today, son?Copy !req
588. - Pretty good.Copy !req
589. The doctor says that
maybe you can go home tomorrow.Copy !req
590. Yeah, isn't that great,
Stanley?Copy !req
591. Wow, cool!
- And how are you, Kyle?Copy !req
592. Are you doing okay?
- I'm better now.Copy !req
593. What's so funny, you two?Copy !req
594. We gave you guys herpes.Copy !req
595. What? What? what?
You did this?Copy !req
596. We got you back
for getting us sick.Copy !req
597. We had a prostitute use
your toothbrushes and stuff.Copy !req
598. I can't believe
you gave us herpes.Copy !req
599. You little rascals!Copy !req
600. Well, I guess it
serves us right.Copy !req
601. Kids, we should've been honestCopy !req
602. about wanting you
to get chickenpox.Copy !req
603. It's true; we were wrong
for deceiving you about it.Copy !req
604. Hey, how come you don't
have sores on your lips, Mom?Copy !req
605. Ooh, I have them
somewhere else, poopykins.Copy !req
606. Hooray!Copy !req
607. And, uh, Stewart,
I think I owe you an apology.Copy !req
608. I've realized I shouldn't be
so coldCopy !req
609. towards people that
are less fortunate than me.Copy !req
610. Oh hell, I'm sorry, too.Copy !req
611. Oh, Phillip,
I'm so glad everythingCopy !req
612. turned out for the better.Copy !req
613. Well, I know one thing
for sure.Copy !req
614. What's that, Eric?Copy !req
615. We're all gonna need
a lot more calamine lotion.Copy !req
616. Oh, my God!
They've killed Kenny!Copy !req
617. You bastards!Copy !req