1. Hi, I'm Trey Parker.
- And I'm Matt Stone.Copy !req
2. And we're Trey Parker
and Matt Stone,Copy !req
3. and this is "Terrance and
Not Without My Anus,"Copy !req
4. which is our favorite episode,
and it really is.Copy !req
5. I know we always say that,Copy !req
6. but this one really is
our favorite episode.Copy !req
7. This, uh — we did this show
last year.Copy !req
8. It aired on April Fools' Day,Copy !req
9. and it was supposed to be
an April Fools' joke, and—Copy !req
10. - What are you doing?Copy !req
11. - I'm doing a — you know,
the MTV stuff.Copy !req
12. Don't do that.
- You know—come on.Copy !req
13. - Don't do—no, don't do that.Copy !req
14. All right.
- Just sit there.Copy !req
15. - It aired on April Fools' Day.Copy !req
16. We'd set up the end of
season one with a cliffhangerCopy !req
17. about who Cartman's dad was.Copy !req
18. You had to tune in to find out
who Cartman's dad was,Copy !req
19. and it was April 1st,Copy !req
20. so instead of telling you
who Cartman's dad was,Copy !req
21. we aired an entire Terrance
and Phillip episode,Copy !req
22. which we thought was hilarious,Copy !req
23. but it didn't go over
very well.Copy !req
24. Most of America hated it, yeah.
- Everyone hated it.Copy !req
25. And they—'cause they—
they were like,Copy !req
26. "Well, who's Cartman's dad?
Who's Cartman's dad?"Copy !req
27. And everyone sat through
this episode waiting to seeCopy !req
28. who Cartman's dad was
and didn't get to reallyCopy !req
29. experience the beauty and the—Copy !req
30. the awesomeness
of this episode,Copy !req
31. and so we're really glad
that it's out on videoCopy !req
32. so now people can enjoy it
for what it is.Copy !req
33. We're very glad this episode
is out on video.Copy !req
34. Because now everyone can seeCopy !req
35. what a brilliant piece of work
it is.Copy !req
36. So enjoy "Terrance and
Not Without My Anus."Copy !req
37. Since the last "South Park, "
you've waited four long weeksCopy !req
38. to find out who the father
of Eric Cartman is.Copy !req
39. Now finally, the shocking
truth about Cartman's lineageCopy !req
40. will not be seen tonight
so that we can bring youCopy !req
41. the following
special presentation.Copy !req
42. Now get ready for Canada's
hottest action stars,Copy !req
43. Terrance and Phillip
in the HBC Movie of the Week.Copy !req
44. Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
45. before you today
sits a murderer.Copy !req
46. On the night in question,Copy !req
47. this monster entered
the home of Dr. Jeffrey O'DwyerCopy !req
48. and struck him repeatedly
in the head with this hammer.Copy !req
49. That monster is sitting
right over thereCopy !req
50. and his name
is Terrance!Copy !req
51. Terrance,
you farted in court.Copy !req
52. Yes, Phillip, I'm making
a case for our defense.Copy !req
53. All of these things
link Terrance to the murder.Copy !req
54. Hair fibers, blood samples,
nail clippings,Copy !req
55. a piece of his shirt,Copy !req
56. a watch with his
initials on it.Copy !req
57. A day planner with
the murder scheduled.Copy !req
58. A haiku called "Time to Kill
Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer".Copy !req
59. "Dr. O'Dwyer,/ time to
have your head smashed in/Copy !req
60. with my new hammer."Copy !req
61. Terrance, you may be
a famous surgeon,Copy !req
62. but you're
not God!Copy !req
63. J'accuse,
Terrance.Copy !req
64. Would you like
a "monkey claw", Phillip?Copy !req
65. Yes, please.Copy !req
66. That's called
the "monkey claw"Copy !req
67. because it feels like my colon
is being ripped apartCopy !req
68. by a thousand monkeys.Copy !req
69. The "monkey claw"
is smelly.Copy !req
70. Come on,
get a move on.Copy !req
71. I ain't getting
any younger up here.Copy !req
72. My sentiments exactly,
Your Honor.Copy !req
73. I see from your accent
that you're southern Canadian.Copy !req
74. That is correct.Copy !req
75. Good people of the jury,
my client, Terrance,Copy !req
76. is an
innocent man.Copy !req
77. Oh, Phillip, now you farted
during the closing argument!Copy !req
78. I have, haven't I,
Terrance?Copy !req
79. Your Honor,Copy !req
80. the defense is trying to make
a mockery of this court.Copy !req
81. They think that farts
are funny, but they're not!Copy !req
82. Sustained.Copy !req
83. Good people of the jury,
my client TerranceCopy !req
84. is no more a murderer
than you or me.Copy !req
85. He loves puppies
and hates mean things.Copy !req
86. Would a murderer go to the zoo
and feed animals like this?Copy !req
87. Of course not.Copy !req
88. So in summation,
find Terrance innocent,Copy !req
89. or else
he'll kill you.Copy !req
90. Just kidding.Copy !req
91. The defense
rests.Copy !req
92. God damn it,
that isn't funny.Copy !req
93. Madam foreperson,
have you reached a verdictCopy !req
94. so we can get
the hell out of here?Copy !req
95. We have, your honor.
We have found TerranceCopy !req
96. in the above entitled
action of murderCopy !req
97. against
Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer—Copy !req
98. You're gonna have to
repeat that verdictCopy !req
99. because we had some
flatulence issues.Copy !req
100. I said, we find—Copy !req
101. we find Terrance—Copy !req
102. not guilty!Copy !req
103. Did you hear that,
Terrance?Copy !req
104. You're not guilty!Copy !req
105. Oh, Phillip, you've saved me
from the gas chamber!Copy !req
106. Oh, no!Copy !req
107. That sure
was fun, Phillip.Copy !req
108. Let's go home
and eat kroff dinner.Copy !req
109. Here, here.Copy !req
110. Well, looks like
you got away with it,Copy !req
111. Terrance
and Phillip.Copy !req
112. Oh, hello,
Scott.Copy !req
113. No hard feelings,
right, old pal?Copy !req
114. There are hard feelings.
This isn't over!Copy !req
115. I'm gonna
see to itCopy !req
116. that you both pay
for what you've done!Copy !req
117. And do you
know why?Copy !req
118. 'Cause you're
a dick?Copy !req
119. No, because
I hate you.Copy !req
120. You think farting is so funny.
Well, it isn't!Copy !req
121. Fart jokes are
the lowest form of comedy,Copy !req
122. and if I—Copy !req
123. Oh, I hate
you both!Copy !req
124. I've hated you ever since
I can remember.Copy !req
125. I hate you and I wish
you both had cancer!Copy !req
126. Cancer?Copy !req
127. Yes, in the head.Copy !req
128. Head cancer?Copy !req
129. This is not the end,
Terrance and Phillip.Copy !req
130. You'll rue
this day.Copy !req
131. Wow, Scott really
hates us, Phillip.Copy !req
132. Yes, perhaps
he's homophobic.Copy !req
133. But we're
not gay, Phillip.Copy !req
134. We're not?Copy !req
135. Well, let us board the subway
and return home.Copy !req
136. There we can eat
kroff dinner.Copy !req
137. Yes, it's been
a long dayCopy !req
138. and only kroff dinner
can calm my nerves.Copy !req
139. Say, Phillip, why does ScottCopy !req
140. always try
to convict me of murder?Copy !req
141. He does it
every week.Copy !req
142. He sure does
seem to hate us.Copy !req
143. I wonder what
he'll try to do next.Copy !req
144. God only knows.Copy !req
145. The subway certainly
is wonderful, Terrance.Copy !req
146. It sure is. Let's
look for treasure.Copy !req
147. Yes, let's look
for treasure.Copy !req
148. Hello?Copy !req
149. Hello. Is this
Scott from Canada?Copy !req
150. Yes, yes, it is.Copy !req
151. You're a journalist,
right?Copy !req
152. Yes, I'm a television critic
for magazines.Copy !req
153. I understand that you hate
Terrance and Phillip.Copy !req
154. Yes, yes, I do.Copy !req
155. They think fart jokes are
a sophisticated form of comedy,Copy !req
156. but they're not.Copy !req
157. Well, what if I were to help
you get rid of themCopy !req
158. once and for all?Copy !req
159. Who is this?Copy !req
160. Let's just say that I'm someone
who can help youCopy !req
161. if you help me.Copy !req
162. Just call me your old pal,
Saddam Hussein.Copy !req
163. Saddam Hussein,
the Iraqi dictator?Copy !req
164. Hey, relax, guy,
I'm just your average Joe.Copy !req
165. Take a rest!Copy !req
166. What do you want?Copy !req
167. You want Terrance and Phillip
out of Canada.Copy !req
168. I want you to bring me
and my friends into Canada.Copy !req
169. That sounds like
a fair trade, doesn't it?Copy !req
170. Super,
let's get started.Copy !req
171. I'm not sure
I should trust you.Copy !req
172. Hey, relax, guy,
trust me.Copy !req
173. Well, it's too bad
we didn't find any treasureCopy !req
174. on the subway,
Phillip.Copy !req
175. Oh, hello,
Ugly Bob.Copy !req
176. Hello, Terrance.
Hello, Phillip.Copy !req
177. My God, you're looking
hideously ugly today,
Ugly Bob.Copy !req
178. How come you guys
say stuff like that?Copy !req
179. Because you're
Goddamned ugly, Bob.Copy !req
180. I know, but—Copy !req
181. Ugly Bob, your face looks
like somebody triedCopy !req
182. to put out a forest fire
with a screwdriver.Copy !req
183. I can't help
how I look.Copy !req
184. Besides, it's not what's
on the outside that matters,Copy !req
185. it's what's
on the inside.Copy !req
186. No, it isn't.Copy !req
187. Want to see what's on
the inside of me?Copy !req
188. Wait, wait,
I've got an idea!Copy !req
189. Why don't you put this
paper bag over your head,
Ugly Bob?Copy !req
190. Yes, if people
can't see your face,Copy !req
191. they won't know how
wretchedly ugly you are.Copy !req
192. Really?
Hey, thanks, you guys.Copy !req
193. Maybe now I can
score with chicks.Copy !req
194. Sure you can,
Ugly Bob.Copy !req
195. If they can't see how
horribly disfigured you are,Copy !req
196. they'll want to
sleep with you.Copy !req
197. Thanks,
you guys.Copy !req
198. Hello, Barky,
hello, Purry.Copy !req
199. Bark, bark!Copy !req
200. Prrr, prrr.Copy !req
201. Say, Terrance, I was just about
to make some kroff dinner.Copy !req
202. Would you
like some?Copy !req
203. You know I never turn down
kroff dinner, Phillip.Copy !req
204. I'm going to put on
a pirate costume.Copy !req
205. Special delivery
for Terrance.Copy !req
206. I'll take that.Copy !req
207. Sign here
and here and here,Copy !req
208. and here
and here.Copy !req
209. And here.Copy !req
210. Oh, Terrance!Copy !req
211. You got a letter!Copy !req
212. Shiver me timbers,
Phillip.Copy !req
213. At this rate I'll never get
to my kroff dinner.Copy !req
214. Oh my God!Copy !req
215. What is it, Terrance?
Did you fart?Copy !req
216. No, it's Sally.Copy !req
217. She's being held
captive in Iran.Copy !req
218. Not Sally! Dear God,
no, Terrance.Copy !req
219. Why Sally?
God, why?Copy !req
220. Say, Terrance,
who's Sally?Copy !req
221. My daughter.Copy !req
222. I never knew
you had a daughter, Terrance.Copy !req
223. Oh, yes.
Didn't I mention that, me hearties?Copy !req
224. No, you never did,
Terrance.Copy !req
225. Oh, well, it all began
15 years ago.Copy !req
226. My God, what a fascinating
story, Terrance,Copy !req
227. especially the part
about Celine Dion.Copy !req
228. Yes, indeed.Copy !req
229. But now my little Sally
is being held captive in IranCopy !req
230. and I will have to
go and find her!Copy !req
231. And I will go
with you, Terrance.Copy !req
232. You are such
a good friend, Phillip.Copy !req
233. Well, you know
what they say.Copy !req
234. "A friend in need is a friend
with kroff dinner."Copy !req
235. Avast there, mateys.Copy !req
236. Hello,
Celine Dion.Copy !req
237. Terrance, this is
quite a surprise.Copy !req
238. You're
looking well.Copy !req
239. And you.Copy !req
240. Celine, where is
our daughter, Sally?Copy !req
241. She's in the Middle East
studying anthropology, why?Copy !req
242. Wrong!Copy !req
243. She's been taken hostage
and is now being held prisoner.Copy !req
244. What?Copy !req
245. Phillip and I are
going to Iran to find her,Copy !req
246. but we may
never return.Copy !req
247. Oh, Terrance,
what happened to us?Copy !req
248. We just grew apart,
Celine Dion.Copy !req
249. Please bring our daughter
home safe, Terrance.Copy !req
250. Hello,
Ugly Bob.Copy !req
251. Hi, guys.Copy !req
252. How's the paper bag
working out?Copy !req
253. People seem
to really like it.Copy !req
254. I even have
a date this Friday.Copy !req
255. Terrific!Copy !req
256. We need two tickets
for Tehran, please.Copy !req
257. Iran is dangerous.
You guys shouldn't go there.Copy !req
258. Damn it, man!
Danger or no,Copy !req
259. I'm going to help my friend
find his daughter!Copy !req
260. All right then, there's
a flight leaving today.Copy !req
261. Oh, good.Copy !req
262. Well, I certainly am going
to miss Canada, Terrance.Copy !req
263. Indeed, Phillip.Copy !req
264. Terrance,
if I die whilst in Iran,Copy !req
265. please bring my body
back to CanadaCopy !req
266. and bury me in a box
with a side of kroff dinner.Copy !req
267. Same here,
Phillip.Copy !req
268. Scott to Red Dragon.
Come in, Red Dragon.Copy !req
269. Go ahead, Scott.
This is Red Dragon.Copy !req
270. The plan is
working perfectly.Copy !req
271. Terrance and Phillip
have taken the bait.Copy !req
272. Excellent.Copy !req
273. My buddies and I are ready
to come to Canada.Copy !req
274. Has everything
been arranged?Copy !req
275. Yes, everything's proceeding
according to plan.Copy !req
276. Now, you promised that when
Terrance and Phillip arriveCopy !req
277. they'll be ripped into pieces
and shot several times.Copy !req
278. Hey, relax, guy.Copy !req
279. I'm gonna keep
my side of the bargain.Copy !req
280. Roger, Red Dragon.
Scott out.Copy !req
281. I've got you now,
you fart-loving fart lovers.Copy !req
282. I got ya!Copy !req
283. Oh, Phillip.Copy !req
284. How will I ever find my fugitive daughter
in this daunting place?Copy !req
285. We don't speak
the language.Copy !req
286. We are unwelcome
strangers,Copy !req
287. and we have no idea
where to begin.Copy !req
288. Oh, look,
there she is.Copy !req
289. Oh, good.Copy !req
290. Who? Where?Copy !req
291. I'm here, Sally.Copy !req
292. It's your father,
Terrance.Copy !req
293. I'm here to save you
from your smelly Iranian
captors.Copy !req
294. Papa.Copy !req
295. Say, she looks a lot moreCopy !req
296. like Celine Dion than you,
Terrance.Copy !req
297. Oh, now I see
the resemblance!Copy !req
298. Well, enough of Iran,
let's get home.Copy !req
299. Well, now that I have
my bastard daughter back,Copy !req
300. I feel like going
to Celine Dion's houseCopy !req
301. and asking her
to marry me again.Copy !req
302. Oh, raspberries,
looks like I'm losing a friend.Copy !req
303. No, you're gaining
a pop vocalist.Copy !req
304. Oh my God!
What is this?Copy !req
305. Is this Canada?Copy !req
306. It seems
to have changed.Copy !req
307. This is madness!Copy !req
308. What's going on,
Phillip?Copy !req
309. How could Canada have changed
so much whilst we were gone?Copy !req
310. I don't know,
Terrance.Copy !req
311. And who is that smelly person
in all these pictures?Copy !req
312. I must take my bastard daughter
back to Celine DionCopy !req
313. and see what
she has to say.Copy !req
314. Celine, I brought
our daughter Sally backCopy !req
315. and I want
to tell you that—Copy !req
316. Terrance, could you
come back a little later?Copy !req
317. Why?Copy !req
318. Uh... I'm just
a little busy right now.Copy !req
319. You've got a man over,
don't you, Celine Dion?Copy !req
320. Well, I—Copy !req
321. Hi, guys.Copy !req
322. Oh my God,
it's Ugly Bob!Copy !req
323. What the hell
are you doing here?Copy !req
324. I'm doing Celine Dion,
what's it look like?Copy !req
325. Oh, Celine Dion,
what have you done?Copy !req
326. I was going to
make us a family againCopy !req
327. but now you've
slept with Ugly Bob.Copy !req
328. What do you mean? Why are you
calling him "Ugly Bob"?Copy !req
329. Because that's his name,
you stupid bitch.Copy !req
330. You told me your name
was "Handsome Bob"!Copy !req
331. Look at him,
Celine Dion.Copy !req
332. Behold his
horrible face.Copy !req
333. Oh my God,
he's hopelessly ugly,Copy !req
334. and I am pregnant
with his child!Copy !req
335. What?
No...!Copy !req
336. I'm going to have
a freak baby!Copy !req
337. Oh,
the humanity!Copy !req
338. Hey, Saddam,Copy !req
339. you helped me get rid of
Terrance and PhillipCopy !req
340. and I appreciate that,Copy !req
341. but why are framed pictures of you going up
all over Canada?Copy !req
342. Huh?
Oh, that?Copy !req
343. Don't worry, guy,
you just need a rest.Copy !req
344. No, I don't
need a rest.Copy !req
345. I want to know what
this is all about.Copy !req
346. Hey, relax, fella.Copy !req
347. I'm just making it so
that Terrance and PhillipCopy !req
348. can never come back
to Canada again.Copy !req
349. I just need
a couple of thingsCopy !req
350. and then I'm gonna
head back to Iran.Copy !req
351. I thought you were
from Iraq.Copy !req
352. Iran, Iraq,
what the hell's the difference?Copy !req
353. Relax, guy.Copy !req
354. Phillip, I'm convinced
that somethingCopy !req
355. very, very not good
is happening to Canada.Copy !req
356. Yes, I agree
whole-fartedly.Copy !req
357. Hey, what the hell
are you guys doing here?Copy !req
358. Oh, hello, Scott.Copy !req
359. You're not supposed
to be here.Copy !req
360. You're supposed to be in Iran
looking for your kidnapped—Copy !req
361. I mean,
how are you guys today?Copy !req
362. Wait, what were
you saying?Copy !req
363. Nothing, why?Copy !req
364. Hey, Scott,
guess what?Copy !req
365. What?Copy !req
366. I hate you more than ever,
Terrance and Phillip!Copy !req
367. I absolutely
abhor you both!Copy !req
368. What are
you doing, Scott?Copy !req
369. I'm wishing cancer
upon you.Copy !req
370. Cancer?Copy !req
371. That's right, I'm trying to
give you cancer with my mind.Copy !req
372. Ahh! Stop that!Copy !req
373. Hey, don't
give me cancer.Copy !req
374. Mr. Hussein, the U.S.
government is becoming worried.Copy !req
375. Worried?
About what?Copy !req
376. Take a load off,
relax.Copy !req
377. You seem to be
taking over Canada.Copy !req
378. "Taking over Canada,"
me?Copy !req
379. Hey, you need a rest, fella.
I'm not hiding any bombs.Copy !req
380. We didn't say
anything about bombs.Copy !req
381. Oh, you didn't?
Hey, relax.Copy !req
382. We're giving you
just three yearsCopy !req
383. to clear your forces
out of Canada.Copy !req
384. After that we're gonna
bomb all of Iran.Copy !req
385. I'm from Iraq.Copy !req
386. Iran, Iraq,
what's the difference?Copy !req
387. Ugh, I hate
Americans.Copy !req
388. Please let me
kill them.Copy !req
389. No, no, you need
to relax, guy.Copy !req
390. Remember the plan.
First we take over Canada,Copy !req
391. then we'll have the best of
the female pop vocalists.Copy !req
392. After that,
we'll take over the U.S.,Copy !req
393. then Europe, then China,
then Newfoundland,Copy !req
394. then the world!Copy !req
395. What's so funny?Copy !req
396. Nothing, relax, buddy.Copy !req
397. Saddam, Terrance and Phillip
are back in Canada.Copy !req
398. Oh, really?Copy !req
399. You promised me
they'd be gone for good.Copy !req
400. That was your
part of the bargain.Copy !req
401. I changed my mind.Copy !req
402. Pray that I don't
change it any further.Copy !req
403. This deal's getting
worse all the time.Copy !req
404. Hey, Terrance, let's watch
American television.Copy !req
405. Yeah, we can get
satellite feed from the U.S.Copy !req
406. And watch all
the stupid TV shows.Copy !req
407. Oh, look,
here's a show.Copy !req
408. you!Copy !req
409. Stupid.Copy !req
410. God damn,
their TV shows are lame.Copy !req
411. The father of
Eric Cartman is...Copy !req
412. Look at those
silly American heads.Copy !req
413. They look
like groundhogs.Copy !req
414. And in other news, it appears
that Saddam HusseinCopy !req
415. has finally signed an agreement
to let the U.S.Copy !req
416. inspect his
military operations.Copy !req
417. When asked if he would uphold
his side of the agreement,Copy !req
418. Hussein replied, quote,
"Hey, relax, fella,Copy !req
419. you need
a rest, guy."Copy !req
420. Hey, Phillip,Copy !req
421. isn't that
the smelly gentlemenCopy !req
422. we've seen in pictures
all over town?Copy !req
423. Yes, it is,
Terrance.Copy !req
424. According to
that newsy,Copy !req
425. he's some kind of
Turkish dictator.Copy !req
426. Well, we can't just sit here
and eat kroff dinnerCopy !req
427. and let Canada
be overrun by the Turks.Copy !req
428. That fart sounded like
a ringing phone, Terrance.Copy !req
429. It sure did,
Phillip.Copy !req
430. Oh, wait,
that is the phone.Copy !req
431. Hello?Copy !req
432. Terrance, this is Scott.Copy !req
433. Oh, hey...
It's Scott.Copy !req
434. Tell him he's
a smelly bastard.Copy !req
435. Phillip says
hello, Scott.Copy !req
436. Just shut up
and listen.Copy !req
437. You've unleashed
a monster onto Canada.Copy !req
438. And only you
can get rid of him,Copy !req
439. even though I hate you
and I wish you had cancer.Copy !req
440. You are such
a dick, Scott.Copy !req
441. You're a dick.Copy !req
442. You're a dick.Copy !req
443. You're a dick.Copy !req
444. You're a dick.Copy !req
445. You're a dick.Copy !req
446. You're a dick.Copy !req
447. You're a dick.
- You're a dick.Copy !req
448. The two of you are the most
annoying dicks in Canada.Copy !req
449. You give other Canadians
a bad name, and if I had my—Copy !req
450. I'm sorry, Scott,
could you hold on a minute?Copy !req
451. Sure.Copy !req
452. How do you
like that, Scott?Copy !req
453. You son of a bitch,
I'll get you if it's the last—Copy !req
454. Oh, wait, I have another call,
Scott, can you hang on?Copy !req
455. Sure.Copy !req
456. Oh, that was
Sir Smelly.Copy !req
457. He says hello.Copy !req
458. God damn it!Copy !req
459. Oh, wait a second,
Scott.Copy !req
460. Sure. I mean, no!Copy !req
461. You listen to me.Copy !req
462. If you want
to save CanadaCopy !req
463. you'll meet me at
Karl's Kroff Dinner RestaurantCopy !req
464. in half an hour.Copy !req
465. Oh, Ugly Bob,
I'm so confused.Copy !req
466. I love your personality,
but you are so wretchedly ugly.Copy !req
467. Maybe the baby will have
your face instead of mine.Copy !req
468. We can
only hope.Copy !req
469. I suppose
we'll be okayCopy !req
470. as long as you keep
that bag on your head.Copy !req
471. What's this?Copy !req
472. Hey there,
my name's Saddam.Copy !req
473. I'm a big fan
of Polo.Copy !req
474. I've been searching a long time
for you, Celine Dion.Copy !req
475. Oh, no you don't,
she's my bitch.Copy !req
476. Hey, who are you?Copy !req
477. I'm Bob, but
my friends call me "Ugly Bob"Copy !req
478. because I have the features
of a deformed burn victim.Copy !req
479. Really? I thought all Canadians
looked alike.Copy !req
480. Let me see.Copy !req
481. Well,
I'm sorry, guy.Copy !req
482. You know, I could cure
that face of yours.Copy !req
483. You could?Copy !req
484. Sure. I just need a favor.Copy !req
485. There's a Canadian
football game tomorrow.Copy !req
486. The Ottawa Roughriders against
the Vancouver Roughriders.Copy !req
487. It's at that game
that I will officially turnCopy !req
488. the Canadian flag
over to my Iranian one.Copy !req
489. What?
Why?Copy !req
490. Hey, don't worry about that,
take a load off.Copy !req
491. Don't think about it,
look over here.Copy !req
492. All I need
is for Celine DionCopy !req
493. to sing our Iranian
national anthem at the gameCopy !req
494. to finalize my hostile takeover of Canada.
What do you say?Copy !req
495. Did you say hostile
takeover of Canada?Copy !req
496. No, no, relax there,
fella.Copy !req
497. Well, Scott said to meet him
here but he's not showing up.Copy !req
498. Well, while we're waiting,Copy !req
499. why don't we search
for treasure?Copy !req
500. Oh, good idea,
let's search for treasure.Copy !req
501. What are you idiots doing?Copy !req
502. We're looking for treasure.Copy !req
503. Is that some kind
of metaphorCopy !req
504. for a kind of search
that can't be described?Copy !req
505. No, we're searching
for treasure.Copy !req
506. Listen,
I have an inside scoop.Copy !req
507. There's an
Iraqi dictatorCopy !req
508. who is quietly and slowly
taking over Canada.Copy !req
509. Yes, you mean
Saddam Smelly.Copy !req
510. We saw him
on the telly.Copy !req
511. Well, what are you two
gonna do about it?Copy !req
512. What do you mean?Copy !req
513. It's your fault
that he's here.Copy !req
514. You brought the Iraqis
back with you on your planeCopy !req
515. when you rescued
your kidnapped daughter.Copy !req
516. You mean we are to blame?Copy !req
517. That's right, and now
you must make amends.Copy !req
518. Tomorrow, Saddam will try to
finalize his takeover of CanadaCopy !req
519. at the Roughriders/Roughriders
football game.Copy !req
520. It will be your only shot
at wiping them all out.Copy !req
521. Here, take this.Copy !req
522. What is this?Copy !req
523. It's a bomb.Copy !req
524. You must strap it to
yourselves, go to the game,Copy !req
525. and sacrifice your lives
to take out Saddam's minions.Copy !req
526. That sounds scary.Copy !req
527. Well, you must
do it for Canada.Copy !req
528. For Canada,
Terrance.Copy !req
529. For Canada,
Phillip.Copy !req
530. Yes, Terrance and Phillip.Copy !req
531. And when
the dust is settledCopy !req
532. Canada will be rid of
both the IraqisCopy !req
533. and your immature
fart humor.Copy !req
534. Well, Phillip, I'm very sad
that we have to die for Canada.Copy !req
535. Yes.Copy !req
536. This bomb will blow us
both to smithereens.Copy !req
537. But we really
have no choice.Copy !req
538. Only our deaths
can bring Canada life.Copy !req
539. That's funny.Copy !req
540. Wait a minute,
Terrance,Copy !req
541. that fart
gives me pause.Copy !req
542. Why is that?Copy !req
543. That smelly
Saddam Hussein,Copy !req
544. he uses German chemical
warfare, does he not?Copy !req
545. Yes, apparently
he does.Copy !req
546. Terrance,
get the phone book.Copy !req
547. We must call every
Canadian we can.Copy !req
548. Oh, Phillip, it sounds like
you have an idea.Copy !req
549. I do,
Terrance.Copy !req
550. And the Roughriders are
really giving the RoughridersCopy !req
551. a run for their money.Copy !req
552. All else aside, I must say
that the RoughridersCopy !req
553. are simply outmatched
by these Roughriders.Copy !req
554. And that's going
to take us to halftime.Copy !req
555. Be sure to stick around
for the halftime show,Copy !req
556. Saddam and
the Electric Iraqis,Copy !req
557. in a salute
to hostile takeovers.Copy !req
558. Well, I guess
it's time, old friend.Copy !req
559. Yes, prepare
the alert.Copy !req
560. Hello to my
Canadian friends.Copy !req
561. Everybody, relax,
take a rest,
put your feet up.Copy !req
562. Those dogs
are barking.Copy !req
563. You may have noticed some
changes to your country.Copy !req
564. Don't worry about that.
The changes will continue.Copy !req
565. I'm here to announce
once and for allCopy !req
566. that Canada will now
be known as New Baghdad.Copy !req
567. You will bow down to me
as your ruler.Copy !req
568. You will obey my laws
or you will be killed.Copy !req
569. And now you will sing
the Iraqi national anthemCopy !req
570. or you will be
stabbed in the head.Copy !req
571. Now, Phillip?Copy !req
572. Now, Terrance.Copy !req
573. Hey, what the hell
is this?Copy !req
574. They're using
chemical warfare.Copy !req
575. How could they?Copy !req
576. We did it,
Phillip.Copy !req
577. We destroyed
the Turks!Copy !req
578. Oh, glorious day.Copy !req
579. Terrance, Terrance,
you've saved Canada.Copy !req
580. Oh, it was all
Phillip's idea.Copy !req
581. God bless you,
Phillip.Copy !req
582. Don't touch me,
Ugly Bob.Copy !req
583. Hey, what the hell
happened?Copy !req
584. You were supposed
to be blown up!Copy !req
585. We came up with
a better plan.Copy !req
586. You see, Scott,
after all your criticism,Copy !req
587. it was farting
that saved Canada.Copy !req
588. Oh, that is
so juvenile.Copy !req
589. Hey, Scott,
do you like apples?Copy !req
590. Of course.Copy !req
591. How do you like
them apples?Copy !req
592. I hate you,
Terrance and Phillip!Copy !req
593. Oh, Celine Dion.Copy !req
594. You never finished
that national anthem.Copy !req
595. You're right, Terrance,
you're right.Copy !req
596. Who is Eric Cartman's
father?Copy !req
597. Find out on an all-new
"South Park"Copy !req
598. in just a few weeks.Copy !req