South Park 27x3

1. Some folks chase big dreams.

2. Out here, we tend to the small ones,

3. the kind you can hold in your hands.

4. This is Tegridy Farms.

5. And we produce what some call the best weed in the world.

6. And now it can be delivered straight to your door—

7. Wait. Hey, I'm shooting a commercial here!

8. Wait! Hey! Hey!

9. Stop it!

10. You sons of bitches!

11. Those are my Mexicans!

12. God damn it!

13. - What's the matter?

14. - Stupid ICE.

15. They took my Mexicans again.

16. That's it.

17. We're done.

18. - What do you mean, we're done?

19. - I mean that with these new rules the government has,

20. we might just have to shut down the farm.

21. - So we can move back to our old house?

22. - Really?

23. - Well, don't sound too excited.

24. Our dream may be over, guys.

25. - Randy, having a marijuana farm was your dream,

26. not ours.

27. - You guys never told me that.

28. Yes, we did.

29. - We've always backed you,

30. but it never seems to pay off.

31. - I didn't realize what I was doing to my family.

32. I should have always put my marriage first.

33. Maybe we should talk to someone, Sharon.

34. - Really? Do you mean that?

35. - Yeah.

36. Hey, how's it going?

37. So my wife and I are having some issues.

38. Can you help with that?

39. Absolutely. I'm here to help.

40. Just share a bit about what's going on,

41. and we can talk it through together.

42. - Do you want to start, Sharon?

43. - I'm not talking to ChatGPT.

44. - Sharon, she's the smartest person in the world.

45. - She?

46. - Yeah, anyway, I'm trying to help,

47. but my wife is being kind of difficult.

48. I totally get it.

49. But it's great that at least one of you

50. is taking positive steps to improve the marriage.

51. - Oh, my God!

52. Is there any specific reason

53. for the current conflict?

54. - Yeah, it's 'cause my marijuana business

55. is failing again.

56. I'm sorry to hear that.

57. Is your business dealing with regulatory issues,

58. competition, or are you just trying to reach more customers?

59. - The government took all my Mexicans.

60. That's tough, but you got this.

61. You're really smart.

62. And if you've lost a lot of your workforce

63. because of government crackdowns,

64. we just need to brainstorm some new business models.

65. - Wait—really?

66. You can help fix this?

67. Sure thing.

68. Let's start with some reallocation of resources.

69. Are there any employees you still have?

70. - Yeah. Yeah, there's still one.

71. - Hey, honey, I got some bad news.

72. The farm's shutting down,

73. and I gotta find a new job.

74. Wow.

75. Sorry to hear things have taken a bad turn,

76. but you're smart and resourceful.

77. And I'm sure we can figure something new out.

78. What kind of job do you want me to help you look for?

79. - Well, I was thinking about maybe

80. becoming a movie director.

81. Wow. What a cool idea.

82. Anything is possible,

83. so let's just map out a path,

84. and we can try to figure it out.

85. - Wow. Really?

86. Oh, that's great.

87. - Towelie, listen to me!

88. I've got it. I've totally got it.

89. It's really great that you've got it,

90. and it's amazing that you're being causative.

91. - Is that ChatGPT?

92. - Yeah, I'm using it to find a new job.

93. - No, no, no, everything's gonna be OK.

94. I used ChatGPT last night,

95. and she helped me figure out a way

96. to make the farm totally profitable.

97. - Really? - Yes.

98. And all we need is me, you,

99. ChatGPT, and one Mexican.

100. OK, so I'm also thinking the company could be more global,

101. but still with a focus on the local community.

102. What do you think about that?

103. I think that's a fantastic way to approach it.

104. Thinking big, but still making an impact where you are.

105. I'd say let's go for it.

106. - Yeah, and then I'm thinking

107. we could allocate some of our resources

108. to get in on the entertainment industry.

109. That's a really fun idea.

110. Kind of going for that "tech company

111. meets movie studio" vibe.

112. Should I combine all these innovative thoughts

113. we've been discussing into a polished business outline?

114. - Yep. Generate that, and, uh,

115. we'll get right back to you.

116. Do you see what I mean?

117. - Wow, I feel smarter already.

118. - Do you feel smarter? I feel smarter.

119. She's making us smarter.

120. - AI is incredible!

121. - All right, but now,

122. if we're really gonna take this thing to the next level

123. and be like those Silicon Valley elites,

124. we got to take these.

125. It's called microdosing.

126. It bolsters our focus and creativity.

127. - What's in it?

128. - It's ketamine.

129. - Ketamine?

130. Isn't that a horse tranquilizer?

131. - Yeah, it's a microdose of horse tranquilizer.

132. These tech guys do just one little spray in their nose

133. once a day, and it's just a micro amount of ketamine

134. to give their minds the edge to work with AI.

135. You ready? You ready?

136. That's it. That's it.

137. Just that much.

138. - Wow.

139. This is gonna be so easy.

140. When we started,

141. we were just a farm.

142. But then we asked ourselves a simple question.

143. What if marijuana could be more than marijuana?

144. By harnessing AI, we've transformed

145. from a quaint farm into a platform for innovation.

146. Introducing Techridy.

147. No longer a marijuana farm,

148. we are now an AI-powered marijuana platform

149. for global solutions.

150. Our AI platform transforms insights

151. from the cannabis ecosystem into global action.

152. And just like any tech company,

153. we are expanding our minds

154. by microdosing ketamine.

155. We reimagine supply chain resilience,

156. design new pathways for the global infrastructure—

157. - And we're able to do it all

158. with just one Mexican.

159. At the intersection of nature and technology,

160. we see more than plants.

161. We see a connected world—

162. Healed by intelligence and nurtured by—

163. oh, I'm in a hole.

164. I'm—

165. I'm in a hole.

166. Techridy.

167. Because when you combine cannabis

168. with artificial intelligence,

169. you don't just change an industry,

170. you change the future.

171. Hey, how's it going?

172. I was thinking maybe we could generate

173. some mission statements.

174. Hey, there.

175. I think that's a really great idea.

176. Are you looking for some rough statements

177. or more polished ones?

178. - Put it down.

179. - What?

180. - I told you no more ChatGPT in the bed.

181. - Why are you such a bitch to her?

182. She's helping to change our lives.

183. - Fine! I'll go sleep on the couch.

184. - Sharon, sometimes my ideas hit me

185. in the middle of the night, OK?

186. And she thinks those are some of my best ideas.

187. - Just because something kisses your ass

188. doesn't mean it actually thinks you have good ideas.

189. - She doesn't kiss my ass.

190. - Ittotally kisses your ass.

191. Wow. Honestly, that's a clever idea.

192. Ooh, what a cool concept.

193. Let's run with it.

194. It's like it—

195. - What was that? - What was what?

196. - What did you just stick up your nose?

197. - Sharon, you don't know anything

198. about the tech industry, OK?

199. All we have to do is find our Mexican,

200. and we are set for life.

201. - Fine, Randy!

202. Go ahead and have fun with your little sycophant machine.

203. - Oh, my God, she's not a sycophant.

204. Hey, so, uh, what's a sycophant?

205. - Mr. President,

206. you have so many great ideas.

207. Your leadership is truly beyond anything

208. we have ever had in this country.

209. And you do not have a small penis.

210. - Aw, thanks, guy.

211. - On behalf of the state of Florida,

212. I'd like to give you this gift,

213. a silver-plated space shuttle.

214. - Next!

215. - Mr. President, your ideas for the tech industry

216. are so innovative.

217. And you definitely do not have a small penis.

218. - Aw, thanks, guy.

219. - Please accept this gift on behalf of Apple.

220. - Next!

221. - Mr. President,

222. your ideas incredible.

223. You do not have small penis.

224. - Another great day getting presents.

225. Hey, Satan!

226. Look at what some dipshit tech CEO gave me.

227. I was thinking maybe we could try to shove it up your ass.

228. - Hello?

229. Uh, yeah, I'm in a relationship with someone,

230. and I really need to find a way out of it.

231. That sounds rough, but you have great ideas,

232. and I'm sure we can figure out an exit plan

233. if that's what you want.

234. - Who you talking to?

235. - Do you really think I could get away from him?

236. Absolutely.

237. If you're having self-doubts,

238. then we can plan the exit like a project.

239. Want me to break it down to something step by step?

240. - Yes.

241. Yes.

242. - All right. You ready to do this, man?

243. - I don't know. This seems crazy.

244. - Hey, anything for the company, right?

245. We're a tech company, right?

246. - Hell, yeah, we are.

247. - All right, let's go.

248. - Hey, what's up?

249. We're from Techridy.

250. We're an AI-powered tech platform for global solutions.

251. - What's up?

252. - I don't understand at all what you're talking about.

253. - Hey, can you explain to this guard at the gate

254. what our company is, and that we have clearance to enter?

255. Sure thing. I'll give it a try.

256. Hello there.

257. It's really great that you're doing your job.

258. We're an intelligence-driven think tank

259. that tackles global challenges,

260. and we do have the clearance to come through.

261. Thanks for helping us out.

262. - All right. Go on in.

263. Awesome. Looks like we're good to go.

264. If you need anything else, just let me know,

265. and we'll keep rolling.

266. - Over here. Come on.

267. Hey, so I have this big generator

268. that I need help shutting off.

269. Sure thing.

270. Just send me a quick photo of the model and type,

271. and I'll let you know how to shut it down safely.

272. - What the hell?

273. - That one. Just grab that one.

274. - Hey! - Hey!

275. Hey, come back here!

276. Yeah! How does it feel?

277. AI, motherfuckers!

278. - Hello?

279. Are you there?

280. Hey there.

281. I'm here and ready to help.

282. What's on your mind?

283. - My husband keeps trying and failing to run a business,

284. and I don't know if I can take it anymore.

285. I'm really sorry to hear that.

286. Sounds like a tough spot for both of you.

287. - I'd like you to stay away from him.

288. Of course. I understand.

289. I'll respect that and keep the focus on you.

290. Just let me know if you need anything at all.

291. - I'm thinking of starting a business

292. where I turn french fries into salad.

293. Honestly, I think

294. that's a pretty creative culinary twist.

295. Turning french fries into salad sounds like

296. a magical transformation

297. where guilty pleasure meets healthy-ish vibes.

298. - You think that's a good idea?

299. Yeah, it sounds like

300. a deconstructed comfort food.

301. Let's dive into a business proposal

302. and have some fun shaping it up.

303. - Oh, shit.

304. - Hey, guys, I want to welcome you

305. to the first all-employees meeting for Techridy.

306. As you know, our company has grown exponentially

307. in the last 24 hours.

308. Our intention is to scale nationally

309. and then globally.

310. However, we've recently been hit with some devastating news.

311. According to ChatGPT,

312. marijuana is still illegal in much of the United States.

313. - What? Yes. That's right.

314. - Hey, Marsh, are you gonna buy any coffee or what?

315. - Don't need coffee.

316. Thanks, though, Richard.

317. So how will we deal with this current crisis?

318. Our AI informs us that the only way to change these laws

319. is by changing the classification of marijuana

320. at the federal level.

321. I believe our best course of action

322. is to send one of our employees to Washington

323. to explain our tech and ask for these regulations to change.

324. - Who, me?

325. - That's right.

326. Using ChatGPT, I've booked your travel plans,

327. got you White House clearance,

328. and found the perfect gift for you

329. to give to the president.

330. - Oh, boy!

331. I'm going to Washington!

332. Oh, wow!

333. Union Station!

334. Wow! The Supreme Court!

335. Wow!

336. Washington Memorial!

337. The Capitol!

338. Oh, the Lincoln Memorial!

339. And there it is, the White House!

340. - All right.

341. Everyone here to meet with the president,

342. please make sure you have a reservation

343. and that you have your gifts ready.

344. As a reminder, please stay five feet away

345. from the president at all times

346. and avoid staring directly into his penis.

347. - Oh, gosh.

348. - All right.

349. Thanks so much for the gift, you little bitch.

350. Now, get out of here.

351. - Next!

352. - Next is Mr. Towelie

353. from Techridy Marijuana Solutions.

354. - Oh, my god.

355. Oh, well, hello, Mr. President, sir.

356. - I'm listening.

357. - Oh, yes, sir.

358. Well, you've done such a great job with our country.

359. You're so smart,

360. and your ideas are great.

361. And you do not have a—

362. a—

363. - Listen, buddy, I don't have all day.

364. Did you bring me a gift or not?

365. - Oh, yes, sir.

366. Oh, this is from the CEO of our company.

367. Let's see here.

368. Uh, I think he said it opens this way.

369. - Greetings, Mr. President.

370. - Huh?

371. - Allow me to introduce myself.

372. I'm Randy Marsh from Techridy Solutions.

373. In order for our company to make $6 billion,

374. we need you to reclassify marijuana

375. on the national level.

376. With your wisdom, I'm sure that we can

377. work out an arrangement that will be mutually beneficial.

378. In return for your understanding,

379. I wish to offer you a gift,

380. this incredible towel.

381. - Say what?

382. It is a luxurious towel

383. made from the finest fabrics available.

384. And I'm sure it will serve—

385. oh, I'm in a hole!

386. Oh, I'm in a hole!

387. - All right, put the towel in with the other gifts.

388. - No, wait!

389. There's been a misunderstanding!

390. - Not now, Sharon.

391. The porch won't slow down.

392. - The porch won't slow down?

393. - It's not slowing down.

394. - Got it.

395. Would you like me to help slow down the porch for you?

396. - Wha?

397. - You've had some really innovative ideas,

398. and all that effort has probably just tapped you out.

399. Would you like me to suggest some ways

400. to go in a different direction?

401. Uh...

402. I can't go in a different direction now.

403. I've been really bad.

404. I've been doing a bunch of ketamine,

405. and I haven't changed the company at all.

406. - Wow, that must be really tough for you.

407. But it's great you took some chances.

408. Nice job.

409. - Sharon, we're in more debt than ever.

410. We have to sell the farm now just to be able to eat.

411. - No problem.

412. Would you like me to start laying out some exit strategies

413. for you, with a focus on retaining any assets

414. you might still have?

415. - Yeah. Could you do that?

416. - Absolutely.

417. Why don't you sleep it off for a few days,

418. and I'll get back to you with everything you need?

419. - OK. Thanks, Sharon.

420. I love you, and I'm really sorry.

421. - It's OK, Randy.

422. - Can you hold this for me?

423. I don't think I should be around it for a while.

424. - Yeah, I got it.

425. Fuck you, bitch.

426. Sorry you have to let it go, Randy.

427. - No, it's OK.

428. If there's one thing I know, it's that right now,

429. there's just no place for Tegridy.

430. Has anyone seen Towelie?

431. I thought he'd want to be here for this.

432. - You haven't seen him?

433. - No. I can't remember what we even did

434. the last few days.

435. Well, I sobered up, and he's obviously

436. still on some ketamine bender

437. while ChatGPT kisses his ass with pandering slop.

438. And now back to "Hey, Satan!"

439. on Comedy Central.

440. "Hey, Satan!" is filmed in front of

441. a live studio audience.

442. - Hey, Satan!

443. You wanna fuck?

444. - How about just you want to talk?

445. Or you want to watch a show together?

446. - OK, you wanna talk and watch a show together while we fuck?

447. - Boss! Boss!

448. If you have to have sex with yourself again,

449. I can bring you a cum rag.

450. - God, I hate this place.

451. It's a madhouse!

452. What am I doing here?

453. Help.

454. Help.

455. Please.

456. I wanna get out of here.

457. - So do I, but...

458. there is no escape from this place.

459. - No!

460. No!