1. Alexa, put on 90.1.Copy !req
2. Got it.Copy !req
3. Now playing
radio station 90.1 FM.Copy !req
4. What the fuck?Copy !req
5. Mom, something's wrong
with my favorite show.Copy !req
6. It's just, like, static.Copy !req
7. Your favorite show?Copy !req
8. Yeah, NPR,
National Public Radio,Copy !req
9. where all the liberals bitch
and whine about stuff.Copy !req
10. Something's wrong with it.Copy !req
11. Oh, sweetie,
the president canceled NPR.Copy !req
12. What do you mean,
the president canceled NPR?Copy !req
13. That was, like,
the funniest shit ever.Copy !req
14. I don't know
what to tell you, hon.Copy !req
15. Oh, my God.Copy !req
16. You guys!Copy !req
17. You guys are not
gonna believe this.Copy !req
18. The president of the
United States canceled NPR.Copy !req
19. - What's NPR?
- What's NPR?Copy !req
20. The funniest show ever
where all the lesbiansCopy !req
21. and Jews complain about stuff?Copy !req
22. The fucking president
had it taken off the air!Copy !req
23. I mean, who the hell does
this president think he is?Copy !req
24. The government
can't cancel the show.Copy !req
25. I mean, what show are
they gonna cancel next?Copy !req
26. It was seriously the best show.Copy !req
27. It had, like,
gay rappers from Mexico all sadCopy !req
28. because girls in Pakistan
got stoned to death.Copy !req
29. And guess why
they got stoned to death?Copy !req
30. 'Cause they were raped!Copy !req
31. It was hilarious.
Why would anyone cancel that?Copy !req
32. I don't know about you,
but I'm worried aboutCopy !req
33. what this country's coming to.Copy !req
34. It seems like
everybody's changingCopy !req
35. and suddenly woke stuff
is off limits.Copy !req
36. I mean, it's like now
everyone rips on the Jews,Copy !req
37. and it's totally fine.Copy !req
38. Huh, Kyle?Copy !req
39. See?Copy !req
40. What's wrong with Kyle?Copy !req
41. Everybody's given up.Copy !req
42. Attention, students.Copy !req
43. There will be a mandatory
assembly this morning.Copy !req
44. All students report
to the gym, mkay?Copy !req
45. Oh, boy, PC Principal.Copy !req
46. He's not given up.Copy !req
47. All right, everyone,
listen up.Copy !req
48. Everybody, quiet!Copy !req
49. There's some bull crap
going on in this country,Copy !req
50. and I am not going to
let it corruptCopy !req
51. the environment at this school!Copy !req
52. Oh, here we go.Copy !req
53. Now, I don't know about you,
but I'm sick and tiredCopy !req
54. of the way people are treatedCopy !req
55. and mocked
for being compassionate.Copy !req
56. It is out of control!Copy !req
57. There's only one thing
that can bring some normalityCopy !req
58. back to these corrupt times.Copy !req
59. And that is...Copy !req
60. our Lord and Savior,
Jesus Christ.Copy !req
61. What?Copy !req
62. This school has traded truth
for comfortCopy !req
63. and worships idols of self
and sin.Copy !req
64. We were a nation under God,
but now we spit in His faceCopy !req
65. and wonder why
everything's falling apart.Copy !req
66. There's only one way back—Copy !req
67. repent, bow to Christ,Copy !req
68. or be swept away with the
rest of the godless lies.Copy !req
69. What the hell, dude?Copy !req
70. In order to turn
things around,Copy !req
71. I'm going to be
a Power Christian Principal.Copy !req
72. You can call me PC Principal.Copy !req
73. So now, I'd like you all
to put your hands togetherCopy !req
74. in welcoming Christ our Lord.Copy !req
75. Hello, my children.Copy !req
76. I am the light and the way.Copy !req
77. Fellas,
what the fuck is going on?Copy !req
78. Yea, it is wonderful
to be here,Copy !req
79. for where two or three
gather in my name,Copy !req
80. there am I with them.Copy !req
81. That's right!Copy !req
82. That's right. Let's go, Jesus.Copy !req
83. Fuck yeah!Copy !req
84. So how was your day, guys?Copy !req
85. Anything fun happen at school?Copy !req
86. No, not really.Copy !req
87. Uh, Jesus showed up.Copy !req
88. Jesus?Copy !req
89. Yeah.Copy !req
90. What's Jesus doing
in your school?Copy !req
91. I don't know.Copy !req
92. I don't think Jesus is
allowed to be in schools.Copy !req
93. Yeah, well, he was there.Copy !req
94. Well, I think I'm gonna have
to talk to somebody about this.Copy !req
95. Hey, uh, how's it going?Copy !req
96. Um, is Jesus supposed to be
allowed in schools?Copy !req
97. Generally, the idea
is that public schoolsCopy !req
98. have to maintain a separation
of church and state,Copy !req
99. so they can't promote
any one religion.Copy !req
100. Yeah, that's what I thought.Copy !req
101. The government can't force
a religion on my son.Copy !req
102. Public schools
can teach about religionsCopy !req
103. in a neutral educational way,Copy !req
104. but they can't endorse
any particular one.Copy !req
105. Was it a lesson
on all world religions?Copy !req
106. Uh, no.Copy !req
107. My son said that Jesus was
literally at his school.Copy !req
108. Then you're probably
right to be concerned.Copy !req
109. It's good you're looking out
for your son's education.Copy !req
110. Thanks.Copy !req
111. It's really nice
to have someoneCopy !req
112. to talk to about all this.Copy !req
113. No worries.Copy !req
114. Let me know if there's
any other way I can help.Copy !req
115. I'm always here.Copy !req
116. You're so awesome. Thanks.Copy !req
117. Good night, honey.Copy !req
118. Have a great sleep,Copy !req
119. and I'm sure you'll do more
amazing things tomorrow.Copy !req
120. Ah.Copy !req
121. - Butters!
- Ahh!Copy !req
122. Butters, get over here.Copy !req
123. What did I tell you, man?
This shit is wack!Copy !req
124. PC Principal?Copy !req
125. If he's changed,
then there's no hope!Copy !req
126. I think I know
what's happening.Copy !req
127. I think woke is dead.Copy !req
128. Woke is dead?Copy !req
129. It's dead, Butters.
It's gone!Copy !req
130. You can just say retarded now.
Nobody cares.Copy !req
131. Everyone hates the Jews.Copy !req
132. Everyone's fine
with using gay slurs.Copy !req
133. Oh. Well, that's not good.Copy !req
134. No, it's terrible!Copy !req
135. 'Cause now I don't know...Copy !req
136. what I'm supposed to do.Copy !req
137. Eric?Copy !req
138. More protests todayCopy !req
139. as the government pushes
harder for ChristianityCopy !req
140. in our nation's schools.Copy !req
141. The president stated earlier
today that the spirit of JesusCopy !req
142. is important to our country,Copy !req
143. and he will sue anyone
who doesn't agree with him.Copy !req
144. What the hell is
this president doing?Copy !req
145. He doesn't even act
like a Christian.Copy !req
146. Why is he pushing it
on our kids?Copy !req
147. I told you
this was all gonna be bad,Copy !req
148. but a lot of you here
voted for him.Copy !req
149. Yeah, I voted for him,Copy !req
150. but all I've seen him do
is arrest and sue people.Copy !req
151. I voted for him to get rid
of all the woke stuff.Copy !req
152. But now that retarded faggot
is just putting moneyCopy !req
153. in his own pockets.Copy !req
154. - Yeah!
- That's right!Copy !req
155. Are we just gonna sit hereCopy !req
156. and let him break every rule
of freedom?Copy !req
157. - No!
- No way!Copy !req
158. Well, come on!Copy !req
159. Let's go get
that son of a bitch.Copy !req
160. Yeah!Copy !req
161. Yeah!Copy !req
162. Come on!
Come on, let's go get him!Copy !req
163. Come on, let's get him!Copy !req
164. - Let's go get him!
- Come on, let's get him!Copy !req
165. Come on out,
you piece of shit.Copy !req
166. We're unelecting you.Copy !req
167. Excuse me. Do you mind?Copy !req
168. What the hell do you think
you're doing, Garrison?Copy !req
169. I'm not doing anything.Copy !req
170. Oh, so you haven't been
looting the countryCopy !req
171. and ruling by fearCopy !req
172. like some Middle Eastern
tinpot dictator?Copy !req
173. No, I've been sitting hereCopy !req
174. watching "White Lotus"
with Rick.Copy !req
175. But you got re-elected.Copy !req
176. He hasn't been back
to Washington in years.Copy !req
177. He gave all that up.Copy !req
178. He's been really good.Copy !req
179. But if he's here,Copy !req
180. then who's the retarded faggotCopy !req
181. in the White House?Copy !req
182. Uh-huh.Copy !req
183. Yeah.Copy !req
184. OK.Copy !req
185. Mr. President, sir,
the prime minister of CanadaCopy !req
186. is here to see you.Copy !req
187. Mr. President,
why are you placingCopy !req
188. these new tariffs on Canada?Copy !req
189. What are you, some kind of
dictator from the Middle East?Copy !req
190. A dictator from
the Middle East?Copy !req
191. Hey, relax, guy.Copy !req
192. I'm just your average Joe.
Take a rest.Copy !req
193. The people of Canada will
not be devalued like this.Copy !req
194. Aw, come on.Copy !req
195. You don't want me to bomb you
like I did Iraq.Copy !req
196. I thought you
just bombed Iran.Copy !req
197. Iran, Iraq—what the hell's
the difference?Copy !req
198. Relax, guy.Copy !req
199. Hey! Hey!Copy !req
200. What the fuck is this, buddy?Copy !req
201. This is the painting
you asked for, sir.Copy !req
202. Why is my dick so small?Copy !req
203. But that's the size it is
in the photo.Copy !req
204. Get this guy out of here!Copy !req
205. I'm gonna sue you!Copy !req
206. I'm gonna sue both of you.Copy !req
207. Ha-ha-ha-ha!Copy !req
208. Nobody makes fun of me
and gets away with it.Copy !req
209. Hey, Satan!Copy !req
210. I don't want to right now.Copy !req
211. What? Hey, relax.Copy !req
212. Come on, Satan.
I've been working hard all day.Copy !req
213. You haven't been working.Copy !req
214. You've been doing your stupid
memes and just fuckin' around.Copy !req
215. Come here, guy.Copy !req
216. Aw, come on, Satan.Copy !req
217. You know you can't resist this.Copy !req
218. I can't even see anything,
it's so small.Copy !req
219. Hey! I'll fucking sue you!Copy !req
220. God, fuck you!Copy !req
221. Aw, come on, Satan.Copy !req
222. Don't be like that.Copy !req
223. Eric?Copy !req
224. Come on, Eric.Copy !req
225. You—you can't keep
doing this to yourself.Copy !req
226. I used to laugh, Butters.Copy !req
227. I used to have fun.Copy !req
228. But now
they've taken that away.Copy !req
229. I'm not special anymore.Copy !req
230. So what's the point
in me even existing?Copy !req
231. Eric, what are you saying?Copy !req
232. I'm saying that
it's the end, Butters.Copy !req
233. I'm gonna kill myself,Copy !req
234. and you.Copy !req
235. Wait, me?Copy !req
236. It's a suicide pact, Butters.Copy !req
237. It's just best we end it now.Copy !req
238. No, Eric, listen to me.Copy !req
239. Woke isn't dead.Copy !req
240. It's still out there,
somewhere,Copy !req
241. just waiting to come back.Copy !req
242. - It's not coming back.
- It's waiting to come back!Copy !req
243. It's like a little tiny light
that's gonna shine again.Copy !req
244. You just gotta give it
some time.Copy !req
245. I hope you're right, Butters.Copy !req
246. But if it doesn't come back
by, like, Tuesday,Copy !req
247. I'm killing us both.Copy !req
248. Mr. Marsh, I've called you
into my officeCopy !req
249. because I understand
that you have a problemCopy !req
250. with Jesus in our schools.Copy !req
251. I don't have a problem
with it.Copy !req
252. I mean, I think
it's kind of weird.Copy !req
253. Well, Mr. Mackey says
you were bullying JesusCopy !req
254. and wouldn't let him sit at
your table in the cafeteria.Copy !req
255. What? I didn't bully him.Copy !req
256. Craig told him our table
was full, which it was.Copy !req
257. Mr. Marsh, Christ died for
your sins, and he loves us all.Copy !req
258. There's only one truth,
one cross, and one savior.Copy !req
259. And you will find him
in your heart.Copy !req
260. PC Principal?Copy !req
261. Power Christian Principal, yes?Copy !req
262. What happened?Copy !req
263. What—what happened
with what?Copy !req
264. Well, you used to be,
like, super woke.Copy !req
265. And then starting
last November,Copy !req
266. you started acting weird.Copy !req
267. And now you're super Christian.Copy !req
268. I just realized that the
side I was on was hopeless.Copy !req
269. And in times of hopelessness,
one finds Christ.Copy !req
270. Come to him,
all who are heavy laden,Copy !req
271. and he shall give you rest.
- And I shall give you rest.Copy !req
272. Dude, what's going on?Copy !req
273. Like, none of this
seems normal.Copy !req
274. That's the kind of attitudeCopy !req
275. we are not gonna tolerate
at this school!Copy !req
276. And, Mr. Marsh,
if you don't accept Christ,Copy !req
277. then I'm gonna have
to expel you.Copy !req
278. K, I'm pretty sure
you can't do that.Copy !req
279. Like, I think that's illegal.Copy !req
280. No, Mr. Marsh,
it's not illegal anymore.Copy !req
281. This is 2025, K?Copy !req
282. And not much is illegal.Copy !req
283. I accept Christ
into my heart.Copy !req
284. And into your school.Copy !req
285. And in my school.Copy !req
286. And at your table
in the cafeteria.Copy !req
287. There wasn't any room
at my table—ah.Copy !req
288. And at my table
in the cafeteria.Copy !req
289. Yay.Copy !req
290. Mr. President,
a lot of your supportersCopy !req
291. are starting
to turn against you.Copy !req
292. Hey, tell them
to take a rest.Copy !req
293. Sir, can you
please talk to them?Copy !req
294. They're really riled up.Copy !req
295. All right, give me that.Copy !req
296. Hey, relax, guys.Copy !req
297. Yeah, hi, uh, what do you
think you're doing?Copy !req
298. Our children are being told
that they have to sitCopy !req
299. with Jesus at lunchtime.Copy !req
300. Listen, buddy,
you just need to relax.Copy !req
301. All this protesting
makes me look bad.Copy !req
302. Just take a rest.Copy !req
303. Well, no, we're not
gonna give it a rest.Copy !req
304. All the people here
in South ParkCopy !req
305. want some goddamn answers.Copy !req
306. All right, then I'm
gonna sue your whole town.Copy !req
307. You got that? $5 billion.Copy !req
308. Ha-ha-ha-ha!Copy !req
309. What'd he say?Copy !req
310. He said he's suing us
for $5 billion.Copy !req
311. Fucking stupid idiots.Copy !req
312. Think they can
mess with me, huh?Copy !req
313. Hey, Satan.Copy !req
314. I'm not in the mood
right now.Copy !req
315. Another random bitch
commented on my InstagramCopy !req
316. that you're on
the Epstein list.Copy !req
317. The Epstein list?Copy !req
318. Are we still
talking "aboot" that?Copy !req
319. Well, are you on
the list or not?Copy !req
320. It's weird that
whenever it comes up,Copy !req
321. you just tell everyone
to relax.Copy !req
322. I'm not telling
everyone to relax.Copy !req
323. Relax, guy!Copy !req
324. No, I need counseling.Copy !req
325. You remind me more and more
of this other guyCopy !req
326. I used to date, like, a lot.Copy !req
327. Like, you guys
are exactly alike.Copy !req
328. I love you.Copy !req
329. Ugh.Copy !req
330. Come on, Satan.Copy !req
331. Vroom!
Pew!Copy !req
332. Oh, no!Copy !req
333. Vroom!Copy !req
334. Butters, honey, your little
friend Cartman is here.Copy !req
335. He said it's Tuesday,
and you guys have plans.Copy !req
336. Eric?Copy !req
337. Oh, no.Copy !req
338. Well, um, can you
tell him I'm not home?Copy !req
339. Butters, don't be antisocial.Copy !req
340. Go play with your friend.Copy !req
341. He's out in the garage playing
in our car with a hose.Copy !req
342. Oh, no!Copy !req
343. Oh, God, Eric!Copy !req
344. Hey, Butters, come on in.Copy !req
345. Eric, no! Get out of there!Copy !req
346. That side's locked, Butters.Copy !req
347. You gotta get on
the other side.Copy !req
348. Eric, you don't
have to do this!Copy !req
349. - Close the door, Butters!
- You can't give up—Copy !req
350. You're letting
all the fumes out!Copy !req
351. Shut the fucking door!
- OK, fine!Copy !req
352. You can't just give up
like everyone else has.Copy !req
353. Butters, it's over.Copy !req
354. You really wanna
sit around for weeksCopy !req
355. waiting for a slow demise?Copy !req
356. - Well, no.
- Well, neither do I!Copy !req
357. This is taking too long.Copy !req
358. Here you go, Butters.Copy !req
359. Buckle up.
We're in for the last ride.Copy !req
360. All right, fine.Copy !req
361. Suck it in, Butters.Copy !req
362. We're heading for that
big woke kingdom in the sky.Copy !req
363. OK, then.Copy !req
364. This is "60 Minutes."Copy !req
365. Oh, boy.Copy !req
366. Oh, shit.Copy !req
367. Uh, oh, God.Copy !req
368. The small town
of South Park, ColoradoCopy !req
369. is protesting against
the president.Copy !req
370. The townspeople claim
that the president—Copy !req
371. who is a great man—Copy !req
372. - A great man.
- Great guy.Copy !req
373. We know he's probably watching.Copy !req
374. And, uh, we are just reporting
on this town in ColoradoCopy !req
375. that's being sued
by the presidentCopy !req
376. and they are fighting back.Copy !req
377. And just to be clear,
we don't agree with them.Copy !req
378. No, no, no, no.Copy !req
379. We think these protesters
are total retards.Copy !req
380. But our own Jim Conner
has more.Copy !req
381. Uh—oh, God.Copy !req
382. Uh—uh, Tom, I'm here
with the townspeopleCopy !req
383. speaking out against
the president.Copy !req
384. It all started
when a father got upsetCopy !req
385. that Jesus was being forced
on his son at school.Copy !req
386. Young Stan Marsh is questioning
the president's policies.Copy !req
387. I don't know.Copy !req
388. You know, I don't know why
he's questioning the president.Copy !req
389. He's probably
a faggot or something.Copy !req
390. But the townspeople say they
owe the president nothing.Copy !req
391. We aren't gonna be told
what to do by anyone.Copy !req
392. We all know
the woke stuff went too far,Copy !req
393. but the answer isn't going
too far the other way.Copy !req
394. It's not a bad thing to have
a little compassion for people.Copy !req
395. It's not a bad thing to care
a little for the environment.Copy !req
396. The Stotch family
is proud to sayCopy !req
397. that we own an electric car.Copy !req
398. Boy, this sure is
taking a long time.Copy !req
399. Yeah, the human body
does everything it canCopy !req
400. in the final stages
to try and cling to life.Copy !req
401. Shouldn't be much longer now.Copy !req
402. Things are really heating upCopy !req
403. in the small town
of South Park.Copy !req
404. More and more citizens
are uniting in solidarityCopy !req
405. against what they call
the president's oppression.Copy !req
406. The townspeople are saying
things are never hopeless,Copy !req
407. that they must
all stand strongCopy !req
408. for what they believe in.Copy !req
409. We're in this
for the long haul, guys.Copy !req
410. This is about what's right.Copy !req
411. And we will fight, even
if we have to do it alone.Copy !req
412. Wait, we don't
have to do it alone.Copy !req
413. Look!Copy !req
414. It's Jesus!Copy !req
415. Let us break bread.Copy !req
416. Break bread with me.Copy !req
417. This is my body, given for you.Copy !req
418. Do this in remembrance of me.Copy !req
419. Now just eat the bread,
and listen.Copy !req
420. I didn't wanna come back
and be in the school,Copy !req
421. but I had to because it
was part of a lawsuitCopy !req
422. and the agreement
with Paramount.Copy !req
423. The president's suing you?Copy !req
424. The guy can
do whatever he wants nowCopy !req
425. that someone backed down, OK?Copy !req
426. Eat the bread.
Eat the bread.Copy !req
427. You guys saw
what happened to CBS?Copy !req
428. Yeah, well, guess who owns CBS?Copy !req
429. Paramount!Copy !req
430. Do you really wanna end up
like Colbert?Copy !req
431. You guys gotta stop
being stupid.Copy !req
432. We can't understand you.Copy !req
433. Just shut up,Copy !req
434. or we're going to get canceled,
you idiots.Copy !req
435. What the hell is he saying?Copy !req
436. Tom, they're calling it
the Sermon on the Mount.Copy !req
437. Hundreds of South Park faithful
are flocking to the areaCopy !req
438. where Jesus Christ continues
to speak his words of wisdom.Copy !req
439. If someone
has the power of the presidencyCopy !req
440. and also has the power
to sue and take bribes,Copy !req
441. then he can do
anything to anyone!Copy !req
442. It's the fucking president, dude.Copy !req
443. All of you, shut the fuck up,
or South Park is over.Copy !req
444. It's fucking over.Copy !req
445. Just stop
and shut the fuck up.Copy !req
446. Ye—yes, sir.Copy !req
447. OK.Copy !req
448. Absolutely.Copy !req
449. Yes, thank you, Mr. President.Copy !req
450. We'll be happy
to pay that, sir.Copy !req
451. Yes, sir. I—Copy !req
452. I will relax,
and I'll take a rest.Copy !req
453. Yes, thank you.Copy !req
454. Thank you very much.Copy !req
455. OK, we settled.Copy !req
456. Oh, we settled.Copy !req
457. Thank God.Copy !req
458. I got the president down
to $3.5 million.Copy !req
459. $3.5 million?
That's—that's not so bad.Copy !req
460. That's really fair.
I think that's fair.Copy !req
461. We'll just have to cut
some fundingCopy !req
462. for our schools
and hospitals and roads,Copy !req
463. and that should be that.
- Yeah.Copy !req
464. OK.Copy !req
465. Yeah, well,
that's not quite all.Copy !req
466. As part of the settlement,
we also had to agreeCopy !req
467. to doing pro-Trump messaging.Copy !req
468. How are we supposed to do
pro-Trump messaging?Copy !req
469. Oh, come on, guys.Copy !req
470. We're South Park!Copy !req
471. We can do it.Copy !req
472. - Yeah. All right.
- He's right.Copy !req
473. - We just gotta work together.
- Yeah!Copy !req
474. - All right!
- Yeah! Yeah!Copy !req
475. Who walked
through the desert for you?Copy !req
476. Who survived the wildernessCopy !req
477. and gave
the ultimate sacrifice?Copy !req
478. When things heat up, who will
deliver us from temptation?Copy !req
479. Donald J. Trump.Copy !req
480. No matter how hot it gets,Copy !req
481. he's not afraid
to fight for America.Copy !req
482. With conviction, discipline,
and trust in God,Copy !req
483. he survived the desert.Copy !req
484. I'm Donald J. Trump,
and I endorse this message.Copy !req
485. Trump—Copy !req
486. his penis is teeny tiny,Copy !req
487. but his love for us is large.Copy !req
488. Oh, I think I might be going.Copy !req
489. Yep, sweet
death is about to come.Copy !req
490. I love you, man.Copy !req