South Park 26x5

1. MTV.

2. - I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time.

3. - Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks

4. without temptation.

5. - Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind.

6. - Ample parking day or night, people

7. spouting, "howdy neighbor."

8. - Goin' on down to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind.

9. - Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine.

10. - Fellas!

11. Hey, fellas, you're not going to believe it.

12. - Butters, what the hell are you wearing?

13. - I got a job over at the ice cream shop.

14. And guess what?

15. I got my very first paycheck.

16. - That's not fair.

17. I want a paycheck.

18. - My dad told me if I got a job,

19. we could put my paychecks in my very own bank account.

20. - I want a bank account.

21. - I didn't know kids could get jobs.

22. - Yeah.

23. Well, I guess these days, it's real hard for businesses

24. to find people to work so they'll

25. take whatever they can get.

26. - I want to take whatever I can get.

27. - It's what they call the Great Resignation labor shortage.

28. So now if you have your parent's permission,

29. there's some jobs they'll even let kids do.

30. - That is messed up.

31. Why does he get to have a job?

32. I want a job.

33. - You wouldn't last four hours on a job, fat ass.

34. - Excuse me?

35. That's easy for you to say.

36. You don't need a job because you live in a nice house.

37. I have to live in a shithole like Kenny does.

38. It's not fair that some people in our country

39. are given the opportunity for employment

40. while others aren't.

41. I'm going to tell my mom.

42. Mom, mom!

43. I need your permission to get a job.

44. - Oh, you're too young to have a job, sweetie.

45. - Butters got a job.

46. - Mom, look at this shithole we live in.

47. Somebody has to get a job because you

48. just sit on your ass all day.

49. - I had a job, Eric, but you got me fired because you

50. wanted me taking care of you.

51. And that's why we had to sell our house.

52. - Yes, right, because I'm the man of the house.

53. You're supposed to take care of me

54. and I'm supposed to go get a job.

55. You really expect us to live like this

56. the rest of our lives?

57. This is not a proper place to raise a child!

58. You have to let me go find a job, Mom.

59. - Eric, the truth is, I don't think you'd

60. last four hours at a job.

61. - Oh, now you sound like Kyle.

62. Do you run Hollywood with him?

63. Are you a Jew too, Mom?

64. - All right, Eric, fine.

65. You want to go get a job and have a little dose of reality?

66. Maybe it'll be good for you.

67. - Thanks, Mom.

68. I love you.

69. Loo, loo, loo, I'm serving in ice cream.

70. Loo, loo, loo, you'll eat it too.

71. Loo, loo, loo, I'm serving ice cream.

72. OK, and the pistachio maple cream.

73. Let me know if you need extra napkins for your table

74. and have a creamy day.

75. Oh. Hey, Eric.

76. - Hey, Butters.

77. I'm here for my job.

78. - What are you talking about?

79. My mom gave me permission.

80. I can start work now.

81. What do I do?

82. - Well, but Eric, this is my job.

83. - Yeah, I want your job, sitting

84. around eating ice cream. Sounds fun.

85. - Eric, there's a lot more to it

86. than that and I already do this job so...

87. - Everything all right, Butters?

88. - Oh. Yes, Mr. Sullivan.

89. I was just... - Hello, sir.

90. I'm a dear friend of Butters.

91. He told me all about this place and said

92. I should get permission from my mom to work here.

93. - Oh.

94. Well, uh, I do need all the help I can get.

95. Butters, can you vouch for him?

96. Is he trustworthy and reliable?

97. - Uh, oh, um, OK.

98. - All right.

99. Well, let's find him a uniform and you

100. can start training him.

101. - Hey, man, I got a job.

102. - All right, Eric.

103. So there's three types of ice cream.

104. Waffle cone, sugar cone, and cups.

105. - Uh-huh, and when do we get to have breaks?

106. - Well, you get a 10 minute break every two hours

107. but only after you check all the freezers, which

108. are right over there, and need to always be set to 0 degrees.

109. - OK, and how much longer do we have to be here?

110. - Eric, please, I don't want to lose this jo...

111. Oh. Hello, sir.

112. Hope you're having a creamy day.

113. What can I get for you?

114. - Can I have a single scoop of coconut almond fudge?

115. - OK.

116. Eric, can you scoop out some coconut almond fudge?

117. - Why?

118. - Because it's your job, Eric.

119. - Whoa, Butters.

120. Let's not make this a toxic work environment, OK?

121. - One second, sir.

122. I'll get that scoop.

123. - Yeah, I got a job in an ice cream shop.

124. Yeah, it's dumb as hell but I'm going

125. to start getting paychecks.

126. - Butter... Butters, what is this about?

127. - Oh, sorry, sir.

128. Eric? - Yeah, I know.

129. She's pretty hot but she's got droopy boobs.

130. - Eric!

131. Eric, you can't just sit there at a table.

132. - Yeah, I can. It's Monday.

133. - So?

134. - So haven't you heard of bare minimum Mondays?

135. It's a thing that young people have created because we

136. care about our mental health.

137. - I don't care if it's bare minimum Mondays.

138. Eric, you need to...

139. - Oh, break time.

140. I'll be back.

141. - Butters!

142. Butters, we got a line out the door.

143. People are getting upset.

144. - I know, sir, I'm sorry.

145. - Well, where is your friend?

146. - He... he hasn't come back from his break yet.

147. - Butters Stotch?

148. - Yes?

149. - Delivery for you.

150. - Hey, Butters.

151. - Ah!

152. Eric, where are you?

153. - I wasn't feeling the best so I decided to work from home.

154. - Butters, what's going on?

155. - Uh, Eric says he's going to work from home.

156. - How can he work from home?

157. This is an ice cream shop!

158. - Yeah, no, 'cause see, I'm actually

159. taking a mental health day.

160. Yeah, young people can just ask for a mental health day

161. and employers can't deny them.

162. It's my mental health day.

163. - Eric, you need to come here right now

164. or we're both gonna get fired.

165. - OK, I guess so.

166. But don't forget that tomorrow is take it easy Tuesdays.

167. - OK, thanks for coming and have a creamy day.

168. Hi, hope you're having a creamy day.

169. Can I help you?

170. - You know what's total bullcrap, Butters?

171. It's how much money the owner of this place

172. is making while we're out here busting our asses.

173. I mean, what does that old fart even do?

174. - Eric, could you please fill this nice lady's order?

175. - Oh, yes, let me get that for you, masa, right away, nah.

176. I mean, seriously, Butters.

177. Why do we have to work for the owner?

178. We know how to do all this stuff now.

179. We don't even need that guy.

180. There has to be a way we could turn the tables.

181. There has to be a way we could make all the money.

182. Wait a minute...

183. - Butters!

184. Butters!

185. That's it!

186. - Eric!

187. - Kenny!

188. Jesus Christ, dude.

189. - Kenny!

190. Kenny, you're not going to believe this,

191. but I just quit my job.

192. You had a job?

193. - Yes, I had a job.

194. But I got fed up, sick of working my fingers to the bone

195. for some piece of shit owner.

196. And that's when it hit me.

197. Kenny, we should open a restaurant.

198. Why the would we open a restaurant?

199. - You know the hot dog I've been living in?

200. It's an old, like, historic landmark.

201. It's been sitting right in front of us completely ready

202. to go.

203. All it would take is some minor renovations and some care.

204. We can make it awesome with like, fun things for kids

205. to do, and rides and games.

206. A place that people from all over Colorado

207. would want to come and see.

208. And we would be the owners.

209. And we could have all the hot dogs we wanted.

210. Whoa.

211. - Aren't you sick of living like this, Kenny?

212. All we need is an investor and we

213. can make our dreams come true.

214. And I know somebody who has a bank account

215. and gets paychecks every week.

216. - No. No, no, no.

217. Thank you, no.

218. - Butters, don't you want to invest your money

219. in something that matters?

220. That's why we came to your bank to offer

221. you this awesome deal.

222. - What we can do, Eric, is set up a line of credit for an LLC

223. which then pays you back not only your investment,

224. but also principal in the company.

225. - But I like my ice cream job.

226. I don't want to open a hot dog.

227. - No, you keep working at the ice cream shop.

228. We're going to open the hot dog.

229. All you do is collect the money as the investor.

230. - Yeah, but this is... This is my money.

231. I worked hard for it.

232. - Butters, it's just like, you're lucky, you know?

233. You have money.

234. But look at Kenny.

235. Can you imagine what it's like for him watching

236. rich white boys like you just collecting paycheck

237. after paycheck, while he wallows in the filth

238. of his tiny house?

239. The fuck?

240. - Butters, Kenny deserves a chance to be

241. able to work like you do.

242. Please, give him that chance.

243. - Ugh, I just give a bit of my paycheck every week to

244. you guys?

245. - And we pay you back as soon as we make

246. our first dollar, Butters.

247. You have my word on it.

248. - Oh, OK.

249. - Yeah!

250. Yeah!

251. - Guys, we're going into the restaurant business.

252. Some days won't end ever,

253. and some days pass on by.

254. I'll be working here forever, at least until I die.

255. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

256. I'm supposed to get a raise next week,

257. you know damn well I won't.

258. Workin' for a livin', workin'.

259. Workin' for a livin', workin'.

260. Workin' for a livin', livin' and a workin'.

261. I'm taking what they're giving because

262. I'm workin' for a livin'.

263. Hey, I'm not complaining 'cause I really need to work.

264. But hittin' up my buddy's got the feeling like a jerk.

265. Hundred dollar car note, 200 rent.

266. I get a check on Friday but it's already spent.

267. Workin' for a livin', workin'.

268. Workin' for a livin', workin'.

269. Workin' for a livin', livin' and a workin'.

270. I'm taking what they're giving 'cause I'm working

271. for a livin'.

272. - This is going to be the best restaurant in Colorado, Kenny.

273. And I know exactly what we should name it.

274. - Tom, I'm standing out front of a Colorado icon,

275. the old Coney Island Hot Dog, where the owners

276. plan to reopen soon.

277. The hot dog stand is going through major renovations

278. and the new name has just been announced,

279. DikinBaus Hot Dogs is sure to be a big hit here in town.

280. He said it!

281. We got him to say dick and balls!

282. - The owners say they're planning on all kinds

283. of rides and games.

284. And also, with each hot dog served here at DikinBaus Hot

285. Dogs, they actually use the ketchup

286. to put a nice little Smiley face on the plate.

287. - It's just their sort of trademark touch.

288. The renovations are supposed to be finished soon

289. and the new owners are inviting everyone to come on down,

290. enjoy, and let DikinBaus put a smile on your buns.

291. - Le... let DikinBaus put a smile on your buns.

292. - Oh. Hey, Butters.

293. We have some of those first quarter projections

294. to show you.

295. Do you have the first quarter projections, Kenny?

296. Uh, let me see.

297. Where did we put those?

298. - Are you guys just playing around?

299. - No, we are renovating and opening

300. an amazing restaurant that will be extremely profitable.

301. - Then why did you name it DikinBaus?

302. - Butters, you are the investor.

303. We are the creatives.

304. - Well, stop being creative and open the goddamn restaurant

305. so I can get my money back.

306. So stop dicking around and wasting my money.

307. - Butters, at DikinBaus, dicking around

308. is all we do, dicking around the competition.

309. - What on Earth?

310. - OK, that's good!

311. Mermaid goes to the mermaid grotto right over there.

312. - Eric!

313. Eric, I think you've done enough renovations.

314. - Mom, no offense, but will you shut

315. your mouth because you know nothing

316. about the restaurant business?

317. - Excuse me, are you guys the owners?

318. - Yes, we're the owners.

319. - Well, we got your zip line put

320. in but this asphalt is so old it's not

321. going to hold the eye bolts.

322. - Well, what does that mean?

323. - I think you've got to re-asphalt

324. the entire parking area or just lose the zip line.

325. - Well, obviously, we're not going to lose the zip line.

326. So let's see what we can do.

327. - All right.

328. Well then, over here on your mermaid grotto,

329. the mermaid is in but she can't actually

330. spit water because there's no plumbing underneath.

331. - Jesus Christ.

332. Well, I guess we got to find a way to add plumbing.

333. All right, everyone, it's looking good

334. but we have a ways to go.

335. I don't know about you, but I am exhausted.

336. I think we should just all take the rest of the day

337. off because it is wet's not work to hard Wednesdays.

338. - All right.

339. Oh, OK.

340. - Let's not work too hard.

341. - Back from work, Butters?

342. - Oh.

343. Hey, Mom and Dad.

344. - You must be so tired from selling all that ice cream.

345. - Well, yeah.

346. It was a pretty long night.

347. - A long night, he says.

348. That's great, Butters.

349. Only problem is, if you're really working at a job,

350. then why is there $0 in your bank account?

351. - What?

352. So now what are you really doing, young man?

353. - $0?

354. But I've been working every day.

355. - Oh, sure.

356. I know exactly how it is.

357. You say you have to work so you can get out of the house,

358. get away from the family and you go down to that glory hole

359. down on Fourth and Larimer.

360. - Oh, my god. Butters!

361. - And while your family thinks you're at your job,

362. you're actually strapped face down

363. on a bed at the Brighton Motel, taking any load you

364. can find on Adultfriendfinder.

365. - Ahh!

366. - It's the lies!

367. It's the lies!

368. I can't take anymore.

369. I'm going to go to the office and get some work done.

370. - That son of a gun.

371. - Wee!

372. Wee!

373. - Oh, man.

374. It's the stupid bank.

375. Hey, Butters.

376. - Gosh dang it, Eric!

377. What the hell do you think you're doing?

378. You can't just take my money out

379. of my gosh dang bank account... - Butters...

380. - without my permission...

381. - Butter... Butters!

382. Butters, would you relax?

383. - Where's all the money gone from my bank account?

384. - You said to get things moving.

385. We needed the funds to go faster.

386. - You said you'd never access my account

387. without my permission!

388. - Butters, we're about to reopen

389. a historic landmark that means something to people.

390. You think I'm just doing all this for the fun of it?

391. Hang on a second.

392. Wee!

393. We're creating jobs, Butters.

394. And we're helping people.

395. - Then open the stupid place, Eric.

396. - Fine!

397. We'll start hiring tomorrow morning

398. and we'll be open by the afternoon.

399. And trust me, Butters.

400. When we open and you see how successful it is,

401. you're going to apologize to me.

402. What the hell is going on?

403. Why is nobody showing up?

404. I don't know, dude.

405. - Hey. Hey!

406. Excuse me.

407. You want to come work at DikinBaus for minimum wage?

408. - No.

409. - That's because your generation is lazy.

410. You got all comfy during the pandemic.

411. Nobody knows how to work anymore!

412. - They're saying you people here might have a job?

413. - Yes!

414. Please, have a seat.

415. Um, so, what kind of experience do you have?

416. - Well, I was working down at the Budd factory

417. in Fort Collins but then Joe Biden caused a recession,

418. so they took my job.

419. - Whoa!

420. - Then I worked over at Waffle House

421. but they decided they needed employees

422. to be more "inclusive," so they took my job.

423. Sorry to hear that.

424. - And then I got let go from the bowling alley

425. and all I want is a damn job.

426. - Well, I believe that we here at DikinBaus

427. would like to hire you immediately.

428. - OK.

429. Can I work from home?

430. What?

431. - No, you can't work from home.

432. It's a hot dog stand.

433. - Well, I could work here but I'll

434. need mental health days off to deal

435. with the toxic environment.

436. - Where do people get this stuff?

437. All right, fine.

438. Never mind, we don't want to hire you.

439. - You're going to take my job?

440. They took my job!

441. - They took yer job!

442. - Took my job!

443. - Durk-a-dur!

444. Took-er-jabs!

445. - Good morning, everyone.

446. After an exhaustive search for employees,

447. we have determined that you are the best of the best.

448. - Yes.

449. We're sure you're excited to be part of the DikinBaus team.

450. And we are certainly glad to have you here.

451. - We're happy to be here.

452. - Shut up, Scott.

453. Now listen, it's going to take dedication and drive

454. to get this place open.

455. Isn't that right, Kenny?

456. Sorry, Kenny is working from home today because it's

457. his mental health day.

458. Hey, guys.

459. - Hi.

460. - Now there may not be many of us.

461. But in order to open, we're going to have to...

462. - Do I get mental health days too?

463. - Oh, here we go.

464. Fine, Clyde, what days do you need

465. to have mental health days?

466. - Well, how should I know until I'm

467. feeling mentally unhealthy?

468. - Goddammit, you guys.

469. It isn't going to work like this, OK?

470. - Um, I'm also going to need 5 minute breaks every hour

471. to check my insulin levels.

472. You're joking.

473. This is a goddamn restaurant, you guys.

474. There's no time for diabetes!

475. You don't hear Mrs. Anderson complaining about her

476. time off.

477. - I don't work on no-thinky Thursdays.

478. - Oh, that's it!

479. That's it, I give up.

480. It's impossible to open any kind of business

481. these days when this generation doesn't know how to work.

482. - Hey, fellers.

483. - Oh, great.

484. Now the bank is here.

485. Scrooge McButters to collect on his money.

486. - You haven't made any money.

487. - Butters, the truth is, we tried.

488. The fact of the matter is, the US government

489. failed this generation by shutting down

490. businesses in the pandemic.

491. And now they don't know how to go back.

492. I'm sorry, but we lost all your money.

493. But there is a good side to this because as you can see,

494. I now have a house that has slides,

495. and games, and a mermaid grotto.

496. And you can come and hang out all you want.

497. - Gosh dang it!

498. Attention, everyone.

499. DikinBaus is now open for business.

500. Welcome to DikinBaus.

501. How can I help you?

502. There you are, ma'am.

503. Thank you.

504. - Oh, look at the little smile on the plate, honey.

505. - Oh, you like that, don't you?

506. - You guys, it's working.

507. We're doing it!

508. All right!

509. - Mm.

510. Hey, that's a pretty good hot dog.

511. - I just love to have all the fun stuff for kids to do here.

512. - Hey, great job, kid.

513. - You really did it, Eric.

514. - Congratulations, Eric.

515. You're a hero.

516. - Oh, my god.

517. Oh, my god.

518. This is a dream come true.

519. - Well, congratulations, young man.

520. DikinBaus Hot Dogs is a big success

521. and here's your first return on your investment.

522. I'm sure there's many more to come.

523. - Oh, I made my money back, huh?

524. - Now what I'm thinking, Butters,

525. is that we should grow your business by applying

526. for a corporate loan, which could pay you dividends

527. as you expand the company into new areas.

528. - Yeah, I wasn't thinking that.

529. See, all I ever wanted was just to do my job,

530. learn how to work, and help Mr. Sullivan sell ice cream.

531. So I'm thinking I'm actually going to conduct a market

532. analysis to look for potential buyers

533. and roll over the company as an exit strategy.

534. - Well, you could do that but I think

535. you'd have trouble getting investors

536. who will commit major capital for just partial ownership.

537. - Yeah.

538. So that's why I want to approach overseas investors

539. who will buy the IP, the restaurant operations,

540. and the real estate outright.

541. - But you couldn't do that because there's

542. already tenants in the building who have to be relocated.

543. - Yeah, I thought of that too.

544. Come on in.

545. - Hello.

546. - Wait, so you two have already discussed some kind of deal?

547. - Oh, yes.

548. Butters and I have been talking and we

549. think that my little Eric deserves

550. to get exactly what he's been wanting for a long time.

551. No!

552. No, what are you doing?

553. DikinBaus is mine!

554. You can't sell DikinBaus!

555. No! Take me back.

556. No!

557. Please!

558. - This picture go over here, Ms. Cartman?

559. - Oh, yes.

560. That's perfect.

561. Thank you.

562. - Wha... what is this?

563. - The new owners paid for us to have our old house back.

564. - I don't want my old house, I want DikinBaus!

565. - Come on.

566. - No!

567. No!

568. - There you go, Eric.

569. It's your old room just like you always wanted.

570. - But I hate this stupid house!

571. I don't want to be here.

572. I want to be in DikinBaus!

573. DikinBaus is awesome.

574. This place sucks.

575. Please!

576. I want...

577. DikinBaus!

578. I want my DikinBaus!

579. DikinBaus!

580. >>oakislandtk<<<<< www.opensubtitles.org