1. Eat your breakfast, Stan,
you're gonna be late for school.Copy !req
2. You told me to finish my homework!Copy !req
3. Do both, come on guys,
we gotta get going.Copy !req
4. Hey whoa, whoa. What
the is going on?Copy !req
5. I'm about to take
the kids to school, why?Copy !req
6. Hello? It's St. Patrick's day.Copy !req
7. I know... I'm wearing green.Copy !req
8. You guys this is Tegridy
Weed's biggest day of the year.Copy !req
9. I need help with the
St. Patrick's Day Special.Copy !req
10. Sorry, Randy, the kids
aren't missing school.Copy !req
11. Come on, guys, let's go...Copy !req
12. Okay, yeah, great, don't worry about it,Copy !req
13. I'll do it all myself. Again.Copy !req
14. Top O' the mornin' to ya!Copy !req
15. This is God damn ridiculous.
Piece a shit family...Copy !req
16. How's it going, Randy?Copy !req
17. Ugh, I'm just so stressed out!Copy !req
18. We have to make a huge profit todayCopy !req
19. or the whole year is.Copy !req
20. How's the St. Patrick's Day Special?Copy !req
21. I think it's better than last year's.Copy !req
22. Lemme see...Copy !req
23. Oh, wow...Copy !req
24. Wow...Copy !req
25. This is gonna be our best special ever!Copy !req
26. Come on, let's get the truck loaded up!Copy !req
27. Let's sell what we can
from our drive up booth,Copy !req
28. and then later we can hit the Irish bar.Copy !req
29. What the?Copy !req
30. Hey! Excuse me!Copy !req
31. Oh, good morning, Randy.Copy !req
32. What do you think you're doing?Copy !req
33. Oh. We're, uh, doing a
St. Patrick's Day Special.Copy !req
34. No, you're not.Copy !req
35. Uhh, yeah. We are.Copy !req
36. So first you steal my
idea of selling weedCopy !req
37. and now you're stealing my ideaCopy !req
38. of doing a St. Patrick's Day Special!Copy !req
39. Pretty sure St. Patrick's
Day wasn't your idea.Copy !req
40. Is that right? Okay...Copy !req
41. Game on, mother.Copy !req
42. Come on Butters, time for school!Copy !req
43. Okay, mom!Copy !req
44. Ohhh dad, are you wearin' green
or are you gonna get a pinch?Copy !req
45. Ha ha... I've got a green
tie on, you little rascal!Copy !req
46. And I'm wearing a green scarf!Copy !req
47. Okay! Well someone's
gettin a pinch today!Copy !req
48. Hey, Clyde! You got your green on!Copy !req
49. Hey Jimmy! Nice green pants!Copy !req
50. Tee-hee! Te hee hee hee!Copy !req
51. Happy St. Patrick's Day, fellas!Copy !req
52. - Hey, Butters.
- You guys all look very festive!Copy !req
53. Yeah, it's super fun.
St. Patrick's Day rules.Copy !req
54. Oh, I hope they put green
food coloring in our milkCopy !req
55. at lunchtime again like last year!Copy !req
56. Uh-oh!Copy !req
57. Hey, Kelly-Ann! What's going on?Copy !req
58. What do you mean?Copy !req
59. Looks like someone
forgot what day it was!Copy !req
60. Ha ha! Pi-i-i-i-nch!Copy !req
61. I'm sorry! I'm sorry!Copy !req
62. I didn't mean to do
anything wrong, honest!Copy !req
63. Do you know what sexual assault is?Copy !req
64. I'm so sorry! Please!Copy !req
65. It's just... Well, she had it comin'Copy !req
66. on account of the way she was dressed!Copy !req
67. Ohhh!Copy !req
68. Wow, kid, wow!Copy !req
69. Alright. Take this
shithead to the stationCopy !req
70. and book him for sexual
assault of a minor.Copy !req
71. Oh, jeez, I didn't know
Kelly-Ann was a minor!Copy !req
72. Well, she didn't have a mining helmetCopy !req
73. or a pick axe or anything!Copy !req
74. Okay, looks like
you assaulted a nine year old girl...Copy !req
75. No prior history... assault took
place at an elementary school.Copy !req
76. But... But, sir, it's St. Patrick's Day.Copy !req
77. Look, I know!
It's St. Patrick's Day, right?Copy !req
78. If people don't wear
green, they get pinched!Copy !req
79. Yes! Right!Copy !req
80. Yeah... Only one problem.Copy !req
81. The little girl you
pinched? Kelly-Ann Barlow?Copy !req
82. She was wearing green socks.Copy !req
83. You're a goddamn sexual predator.Copy !req
84. Don't let him jack off in here!Copy !req
85. These types always mess up my jail!Copy !req
86. Welcome, everyone, welcome.Copy !req
87. Thank you for coming to Credigree Farms!Copy !req
88. Randy, we all see you behind the bush.Copy !req
89. Everyone sees you.Copy !req
90. Oh. Uh...Copy !req
91. A very happy mornin', everybody!Copy !req
92. And a foine
St. Patrick's Day to all of ye.Copy !req
93. I don't know if ya noohticed.Copy !req
94. But, uh, there's a farm
across the streetCopy !req
95. selling weed also...Copy !req
96. And the owner is actually
10 par-cent Irish!Copy !req
97. So, obviously, you're upsetCopy !req
98. that you don't seem
to have any customers.Copy !req
99. What I'm upset aboutCopy !req
100. is a wee little thing called
"cultural appropriation".Copy !req
101. Ever heard of it?Copy !req
102. That's why we can't wear
sombreros on Cinco de Mayo.Copy !req
103. Why we can't dress like
Indians on Halloween.Copy !req
104. What's your point?Copy !req
105. I'm looking at my point,
you racist son of a bitch.Copy !req
106. You have no right to wear that stuff.Copy !req
107. It is offensive.Copy !req
108. Come on, guys!Copy !req
109. St. Patrick's Day is the one
day of the year we have leftCopy !req
110. where we can actually
celebrate being white.Copy !req
111. Any other day that we tried
to be proud of our culture,Copy !req
112. we would get immediately
cancelled by Twitter!Copy !req
113. And yet for some reason,
you're all over here,Copy !req
114. buying your weed from
someone who is fineCopy !req
115. mocking our customs and traditions.Copy !req
116. Maybe they're here because
my St. Patrick's Day SpecialCopy !req
117. is better than yours.Copy !req
118. Okay, yeah...Copy !req
119. Yeah, let's arrest the white leprechaun.Copy !req
120. Cuz, you know, can't have one dayCopy !req
121. for a mostly white culture, right?Copy !req
122. Don't wanna get cancelled.Copy !req
123. I guess don't arrest him
for cultural appropriations?Copy !req
124. Guess... Guess that
only works one way, huh?Copy !req
125. - Leopold Stotch?
- Yes?Copy !req
126. I'm the public defender that's
been assigned to your case.Copy !req
127. Ugh... Okay... Oh, God...Copy !req
128. Is there a problem?Copy !req
129. Wul, it's just... I mean...
What you're wearing.Copy !req
130. You know, it's St. Patrick's Day,Copy !req
131. you're not wearing any...Copy !req
132. You don't have any
green socks on, do you?Copy !req
133. No, I'm wearing yellow socks.Copy !req
134. Ohhhhh God... I wanna
pinch you so bad...Copy !req
135. I'm here to help you, okay?Copy !req
136. Now, this woman that
you're accused of groping,Copy !req
137. were you two in any
kind of relationship?Copy !req
138. No, ma'am, could you... Maybe put onCopy !req
139. some green lipstick or something?Copy !req
140. Before you touched the victim,Copy !req
141. did she give you any kind of consent?Copy !req
142. Well, technically, yes!Copy !req
143. I mean, St. Patrick's Day
is a wonderful dayCopy !req
144. where we remember a British
Roman man who went to IrelandCopy !req
145. and converted the whole
country to Christianity!Copy !req
146. And he used a clover to
represent the Holy Trinity,Copy !req
147. so we're supposed to
celebrate that by wearing greenCopy !req
148. and if you don't wear
green you get a pinch!Copy !req
149. And who is this St. Patrick to you?Copy !req
150. See? That's the problem!Copy !req
151. Nobody knows how great he really was.Copy !req
152. Okay...Copy !req
153. Can you show me where on
the body you touched the girl?Copy !req
154. - Oh, God...
- Did you put your fingers inside her?Copy !req
155. I didn't finger nothin!Copy !req
156. I swear it was just a tiny
little St. Patrick's Day pinch!Copy !req
157. It was... It was like this!Copy !req
158. Ohhhg!Copy !req
159. Oh!Copy !req
160. I am not representing
this animal!Copy !req
161. Ohhgu!Copy !req
162. We got some more
St. Patrick's Day offenders.Copy !req
163. Well, it's 10 a.m. and you
people are already wasted, huh?Copy !req
164. Yeah, yeah, copper,
you got me, big deal.Copy !req
165. Dear St. Patrick...Copy !req
166. If you're really up there...
I've always done my bestCopy !req
167. to honor you on this most holy day...Copy !req
168. You went to Ireland, and you gotCopy !req
169. all those pagan worshippers
to follow Christ.Copy !req
170. If there's any way... that
you could help me now...Copy !req
171. just, like, send me
a leprechaun or something...Copy !req
172. I will be forever your dark servant.Copy !req
173. Amen.Copy !req
174. Alright, we got us another one!Copy !req
175. Let's go, buddy.Copy !req
176. Yeah yeah, you don't
have to push me, copper.Copy !req
177. Whoa...Copy !req
178. When are you people gonna learn, huh?Copy !req
179. It's not even lunchtime,
for Christ's sake.Copy !req
180. I want my phone call.Copy !req
181. Wow wee, are you a real leprechaun?Copy !req
182. Yeah, I'm a real leprechaun!Copy !req
183. Alright! Are we gonna
bust outta here or what?Copy !req
184. Hell yeah we're gonna bust outta here,Copy !req
185. what do you have planned?Copy !req
186. Awww, yeah...Copy !req
187. And now back to the Credigree WeedCopy !req
188. St. Patrick's Day Special.Copy !req
189. Alright, there you go,
happy St. Patrick's DayCopy !req
190. and thanks for buying Credigree!Copy !req
191. Good afternoon, sir!Copy !req
192. Are you the creator of Credigree Weed?Copy !req
193. I am.Copy !req
194. Well, I'm the owner of the Irish
bar here in town. Farty O'Cools.Copy !req
195. We've got thousands of patrons todayCopy !req
196. and I'm looking to score some weed.Copy !req
197. You need marijuana for the Irish bar.Copy !req
198. Well, everyone's been
drinkin' since 9 a.m.Copy !req
199. But now they need something
to take the edge offCopy !req
200. until they start doing coke at 7:30.Copy !req
201. Well, I'm sure we can help you out.Copy !req
202. How much Credigree
are you looking to buy?Copy !req
203. Oh, I'd say we need about...Copy !req
204. Oh, two and a half tons of
yer St. Patrick's Day Special.Copy !req
205. Two and a half tons...Copy !req
206. Alright! Well, we'll see
ya down at Farty O'Cools!Copy !req
207. Are you crazy?Copy !req
208. How are we gonna get that
much weed together in time?Copy !req
209. I don't know, babe,Copy !req
210. but this could really
make our whole fiscal year!Copy !req
211. I just hope you're
not overdoin' it again.Copy !req
212. Don't worry, we're gonna
blow everyone's mindCopy !req
213. with our St. Patrick's Day Special!Copy !req
214. Awesome... green hamburgers...Copy !req
215. How clever...Copy !req
216. Hello?Copy !req
217. Uh, yes, this is Randy
Marsh, I've been incarcerated.Copy !req
218. I need to speak with my attorney.Copy !req
219. Dad, it's me. You called
the wrong person.Copy !req
220. Yes, I am aware of that.Copy !req
221. Listen to me carefully.Copy !req
222. The canary is in the cage.Copy !req
223. I don't know what the
you're talking about.Copy !req
224. Oh, a confidential matter?Copy !req
225. Lawyer client privilege.Copy !req
226. Uh, you know, there's an officer
standing right here, actually.Copy !req
227. Oh... Oh it's okay, he's stepping away.Copy !req
228. Stan! They got me locked up,Copy !req
229. you're gonna have to
help me break outta here.Copy !req
230. We have to stop them.Copy !req
231. Stop who?Copy !req
232. Listen to me... is your
friend Tolkien there?Copy !req
233. Yeah, Tol-l-l-kien
is sitting right here.Copy !req
234. Yeah, well, his piece a shit dadCopy !req
235. is trying to take over
the St. Patrick's Day Special!Copy !req
236. I don't care.Copy !req
237. You better care, because
if we don't make money todayCopy !req
238. you and sister are gonna starve.Copy !req
239. Do you understand?Copy !req
240. And I won't be able
to pay the Wi-Fi bill.Copy !req
241. Okay, what do you want me to do?Copy !req
242. I need you to leave school, go home,Copy !req
243. and get a jar of the
St. Patrick's Day Special weedCopy !req
244. and sneak it into the police station.Copy !req
245. Dad, it's St. Patrick's Day.Copy !req
246. We're gonna do
a scavenger hunt at recess.Copy !req
247. I'm asking you to do one little thing.Copy !req
248. Ditch school, get weed,
sneak into the police station.Copy !req
249. Do it or no more Wi-Fi, I mean it!Copy !req
250. Piece a shit lawyer!Copy !req
251. St. Patrick was not Irish.Copy !req
252. He was a Roman British
man who was made a slaveCopy !req
253. by Irish Barbarians.Copy !req
254. But St. Patrick heard
the voice of God...Copy !req
255. and he used his situation for good,Copy !req
256. and God told him to be brave!Copy !req
257. And that is why... On
this one day of the year,Copy !req
258. we must be like St. Patrick ourselves!Copy !req
259. The police don't even care
about St. Patrick's Day!Copy !req
260. Do you see any of them
wearing green? No!Copy !req
261. If we do St. Patrick's
bidding, he will provide for us!Copy !req
262. Okay, back in you go.Copy !req
263. Pi-i-i-i-nch!Copy !req
264. Oh my God! Oh my God!Copy !req
265. He just touched me and he didn't
ask for consent or anything.Copy !req
266. Okay, okay, I'll take care of it...Copy !req
267. Is that better?Copy !req
268. I just need to take a shower and cry.Copy !req
269. Oh my God.Copy !req
270. Can I help you?Copy !req
271. Hello, sir, we are with the Clover Club.Copy !req
272. We try to spread a little
St. Patrick's Day cheerCopy !req
273. by donating baked
goods to prison inmatesCopy !req
274. who cannot celebrate this festive time.Copy !req
275. Alright, it's your lucky day, folks,Copy !req
276. some kids brought you
some holiday cheer.Copy !req
277. Wha... Wha... What's happening?
What's happening?Copy !req
278. Hey, there, we brought you a cake.Copy !req
279. I told you to bring me weed, not a cake!Copy !req
280. God dammit.Copy !req
281. You... You should just enjoy the cake.Copy !req
282. You don't listen to me, do you?Copy !req
283. You're incapable of ever
doing anything right because...Copy !req
284. Oh, a cake. Gaaaht it.Copy !req
285. Thank you very much.Copy !req
286. Whu...Copy !req
287. Oh, hey, fellas.Copy !req
288. How's your St. Patrick's
Day going, Butters?Copy !req
289. - Pretty good.
- Awesome.Copy !req
290. Well, see ya.Copy !req
291. - What are you gonna do?
- It's simple...Copy !req
292. There's always cops
looking to make a score.Copy !req
293. You just gotta find the oneCopy !req
294. willing to trade some drugs for a favor.Copy !req
295. And once they get a whiff of
my St. Patrick's Day Special,Copy !req
296. they won't be able to resist.Copy !req
297. Oh...Copy !req
298. Oh, man, that is strong...Copy !req
299. I knew St. Patrick would perform
a miracle to get us out of here!Copy !req
300. Just like when he was a
slave, he will help us go free!Copy !req
301. White people were slaves
in history? Nuh-uh.Copy !req
302. Gah, it's such a good special,Copy !req
303. it's just such a shame
people are trying to ruin it.Copy !req
304. Hey, my bruthuh. You got a second?Copy !req
305. What do you want?Copy !req
306. You don't wanna miss outCopy !req
307. on the only white holiday
still allowed, do ya?Copy !req
308. How'd you like to be able
to, uh, celebrate a little?Copy !req
309. Yeah, of course I would, but I can't.Copy !req
310. Hey guys! How'd you like to
be able to celebrate a little?Copy !req
311. Check it out! They're
handing out free weedCopy !req
312. down at Farty O'Cools!Copy !req
313. It's the Credigree
St. Patrick's Day Special!Copy !req
314. Wow!Copy !req
315. - Ooh, hey, I'm in.
- No!Copy !req
316. Ooh da lolly! St. Patrick's Day!
Wow, look at it!Copy !req
317. I thought I wouldn't be able
to get wasted till later!Copy !req
318. That's it. It's over.Copy !req
319. My plan is done.Copy !req
320. It is not over!Copy !req
321. What did St. Patrick say when
he was taken from his homelandCopy !req
322. and turned into a slave?Copy !req
323. St. Patrick didn't give up!Copy !req
324. And when the Christians slandered himCopy !req
325. while he was trying to
convert the heathen Irish,Copy !req
326. did he give up then?Copy !req
327. Man, that is strong ass shit.Copy !req
328. You can taste the Irishness.Copy !req
329. This weed is amazing
and it has so much cred.Copy !req
330. You know, I've never really been
a fan of the holiday Specials,Copy !req
331. but this one is really good.Copy !req
332. Yeah!Copy !req
333. Whoa!Copy !req
334. You see? The power of
St. Patrick compels you!Copy !req
335. - Oh!
- Whoa!Copy !req
336. - Aah!
- Aah!Copy !req
337. Yes, now use your clover rays!Copy !req
338. - Oh! Ugugghghh!
- Whoa!Copy !req
339. Me golden coins of spite!Copy !req
340. - Oh!
- Oh!Copy !req
341. And now for the thrilling conclusionCopy !req
342. of the Credigree
St. Patrick's Day Special.Copy !req
343. My God! I never thought
we'd sell this much weed!Copy !req
344. Keep it up, babe! We've
still got a long way to go!Copy !req
345. Hey, everyone! Everyone!
Everyone, quiet!Copy !req
346. Turn up the TV!Copy !req
347. Once again the town of
South Park is on high alertCopy !req
348. after a sexual predator
escaped from custody.Copy !req
349. Everyone who's out
at bars or restaurantsCopy !req
350. for St. Patrick's Day
need to be on the lookoutCopy !req
351. for the sexual psychopath.Copy !req
352. Tom, I'm standing outside
the South Park Police Station,Copy !req
353. where just moments ago a
sexual predator broke free.Copy !req
354. Surveillance cameras inside the stationCopy !req
355. captured the dramatic escape.Copy !req
356. Police claim they tried to
stop the felon from escaping,Copy !req
357. but they were just, "Way too high."Copy !req
358. Back to to you, Tom.Copy !req
359. Towelie... where is all
the St. Patrick's Day Special?Copy !req
360. Randy... I... I thought...
you were in jail.Copy !req
361. The weed's all gone, does that
mean you were able to sell it?Copy !req
362. Yeah I sort of... sold
it... at half price...Copy !req
363. to Tolkien's dad across the street.Copy !req
364. - What?
- You were gone!Copy !req
365. Tolkien's dad said he'd buy all the weedCopy !req
366. and I figured that's what we should do!Copy !req
367. So you mean that right now
everyone down at the Irish barCopy !req
368. is enjoying my special and
they don't even know it?Copy !req
369. Randy, I'm sorr...Copy !req
370. Come on, let's go!Copy !req
371. Thank you! Thank you!Copy !req
372. Thanks for choosing Credigree Weed!Copy !req
373. Stop right there, you piece a shit!Copy !req
374. Is everyone enjoying the special?Copy !req
375. Randy... I-I thought you were in jail.Copy !req
376. Oh, yes, so did a lot of people.Copy !req
377. But you see there's
just one thing wrong.Copy !req
378. This isn't Credigree Weed's special.Copy !req
379. It's moine.Copy !req
380. Babe! That's how you got so much weed?Copy !req
381. I used both.Copy !req
382. You see? This is what happens
when you appropriate a culture!Copy !req
383. It's sort of your special and
it's sort of not your special...Copy !req
384. And nobody knows whose special it is.Copy !req
385. I guess I just let the
holiday go to my head.Copy !req
386. - But I learned that...
- No! No no no no no!Copy !req
387. You don't get to say what you learnedCopy !req
388. 'cause it's not your special!Copy !req
389. This holiday is about Tegridy.Copy !req
390. Oh my God! It's him!Copy !req
391. It's the sexual predator!Copy !req
392. - What, what, he's here?
- Uh oh!Copy !req
393. Stop right there!Copy !req
394. There he is, get him!Copy !req
395. Wahggh!Copy !req
396. Freeze!Copy !req
397. Ahghggh!Copy !req
398. Don't move, Weinstein,
you've got nowhere else to go!Copy !req
399. Leave the child alone...Copy !req
400. Ohh!Copy !req
401. Whoa-a-a!Copy !req
402. It's him! It's St. Patrick!Copy !req
403. What... exactly is going on here.Copy !req
404. You've persecuted this little
boy for grabbing people?Copy !req
405. Why, it's ridiculous!Copy !req
406. You've all besmirched a
perfectly good white holiday.Copy !req
407. Where we all like to get
drunk and assault each other!Copy !req
408. It's St. Patrick's Day!Copy !req
409. - Remember the reason for the season!
- Oh, my God!Copy !req
410. Ooh! Hey!Copy !req
411. Who wants a pinch?Copy !req
412. Oh, yes, very nice!Copy !req
413. Hey, you can't do that, man!Copy !req
414. What do you mean I can't?Copy !req
415. Do you know what day it is?Copy !req
416. Ah, see, here we go.Copy !req
417. "Kiss me I'm Irish!"Copy !req
418. That's more like it!Copy !req
419. Oh, my God!Copy !req
420. No, you bought the shirt, bitch!Copy !req
421. Come on, let's have a go!Copy !req
422. It's me day! Take your dick out.Copy !req
423. Who wants him to take his dick out?Copy !req
424. I will not!Copy !req
425. What is this? Are you people all
some kind of Scottish poofters?Copy !req
426. Hey, that is a homophobic slur!Copy !req
427. You're calling me homophobic?Copy !req
428. Because I will gladly
any man here.Copy !req
429. We celebrate St. Patrick's
Day for four simple reasons.Copy !req
430. I. Love. To. .Copy !req
431. Wow, St. Patrick, wow.
You're a real jerk.Copy !req
432. Yeah, what a creep.
Come on girls, let's go.Copy !req
433. To hell with him and to hell with thisCopy !req
434. Tegridy Weed St. Patrick's Day Special.Copy !req
435. Aw... Aww!Copy !req
436. Where is everybody going?Copy !req
437. This party sucks!Copy !req
438. Doesn't anybody want a pinch?Copy !req
439. The party is over...Copy !req
440. A new day has come...Copy !req
441. And now... St. Patrick's
Day, the only holiday leftCopy !req
442. where white people could
celebrate a culture...Copy !req
443. has been cancelled.Copy !req
444. And as for the mysterious,Copy !req
445. sexually charged being who
groped and assaulted so many.Copy !req
446. He... is doing five
years community service.Copy !req
447. Once again... I shoulda never listenedCopy !req
448. to what they told me in church.Copy !req