1. Yes, sir... If you're looking
to move out of the city,Copy !req
2. I think your family
would love South Park.Copy !req
3. You can get four times
the house hereCopy !req
4. that you can get in the city.Copy !req
5. A cortado?
Is that like a coffee?Copy !req
6. Yeah, we...
We have a coffee shop here. Yes.Copy !req
7. We're up in the mountains
about an hour from Denver...Copy !req
8. Do you think you could drive out
from the city this weekendCopy !req
9. and I could show you
some properties?Copy !req
10. Oh, you have a Tesla?
Oh, how nice.Copy !req
11. South Park... yeah, it's
a charming country village.Copy !req
12. If you're able
to work from home,Copy !req
13. I think you'll really love it
out here...Copy !req
14. LaCroix?
The sparkling Mineral Water?Copy !req
15. Yes, I do believe we have that
in our stores here...Copy !req
16. We're seeing a massive influx
of city peopleCopy !req
17. moving out here to the country.Copy !req
18. And the truth is we just don't
have enough real estate agentsCopy !req
19. to keep up with all the demand.Copy !req
20. Well, I don't have
much experience,Copy !req
21. but I thought
I'd give real estate a try.Copy !req
22. Mrs. Cartman,
being a real estate agentCopy !req
23. takes a lot of intellect
and a lot of raw talent.Copy !req
24. You have to get
your picture taken.Copy !req
25. Get people to like the picture
and go,Copy !req
26. "Oh, I'd like to hang out
with that person."Copy !req
27. And then act like
you like those peopleCopy !req
28. when you show them houses.Copy !req
29. Well, I do believe I'm good with
people, and the truth is...Copy !req
30. I need to do this for my son.Copy !req
31. Our... rent is going upCopy !req
32. because of all the new people
moving into town...Copy !req
33. And I don't think
I can afford it anymore.Copy !req
34. Well, then, I'm going to give
you a shot, Mrs. Cartman.Copy !req
35. For your little boy.Copy !req
36. God dammit...Copy !req
37. Oh, you piece of shit!Copy !req
38. Hello, sweetie!Copy !req
39. Mom! Where the hell
have you been?Copy !req
40. I've been home from school
for like 45 minutes!Copy !req
41. I'm sorry, honey,
mommy had some errands.Copy !req
42. I didn't have anything to eat
except Nutella.Copy !req
43. I was about to call
Child Services!Copy !req
44. Honey...
Mommy has some big news.Copy !req
45. What.Copy !req
46. I... got a job, Eric.Copy !req
47. I'm your job.Copy !req
48. Oh, honey...
It's going to be good.Copy !req
49. Mommy is just going
to be working a few days a weekCopy !req
50. and you can be a big boy
and take care of yourself.Copy !req
51. No.
Eric, this has to happen.Copy !req
52. We can't afford
to live in this houseCopy !req
53. unless I make more money,
and this job pays really well.Copy !req
54. Wha... What job
could you possibly have?Copy !req
55. You don't know how
to do anything.Copy !req
56. I'm a real estate agent.Copy !req
57. A what?Copy !req
58. Hey, Butters, I need your help.Copy !req
59. Well... Well, sure, Eric!
What's goin' on?Copy !req
60. Butters,
I have some shocking news...Copy !req
61. My mom got a job.Copy !req
62. Oh... Oh, and you're worried
that maybe nowCopy !req
63. your mom won't always be there
to take care of you?Copy !req
64. What? No.
My mom got a job.Copy !req
65. My mom is dumb as shitCopy !req
66. and somebody is paying her
to do something.Copy !req
67. Have you ever heard of
a real estate agent, Butters?Copy !req
68. Well, not really.Copy !req
69. Yeah, well, neither had I.Copy !req
70. So I looked it up on a bunch
of those shows and stuff.Copy !req
71. You don't do anything.Copy !req
72. You just look nice
and hug peopleCopy !req
73. and then when someone buys
or sells a house, you make money.Copy !req
74. Wow! Well, that
sounds like a good deal!Copy !req
75. It's more than a
good deal, Butters,Copy !req
76. it's fucking legal theft.Copy !req
77. If my mom can be
a real estate agent,Copy !req
78. then literally anyone
in the world can.Copy !req
79. We've got all these
people movingCopy !req
80. from the cities into our town,Copy !req
81. I can probably be a millionaire
in just a few days time.Copy !req
82. Wow wee!Copy !req
83. Now, whatever you
do, don't tell anybody.Copy !req
84. If anyone else
finds out about this,Copy !req
85. they'll all want to be
real estate agents, too.Copy !req
86. You've always been great
at taking pictures, Butters.Copy !req
87. I won't forget
this when I'm rich.Copy !req
88. Gosh, thanks, Eric!Copy !req
89. Okay, Liane... You've got this.Copy !req
90. You can do this.Copy !req
91. Bottled water. Bottled
water. Bottled water.Copy !req
92. Hello there! I believe I
spoke with you on the phone?Copy !req
93. I'm Liane Cartman with
South Park Realtors!Copy !req
94. Uh-huh... Uh-huh...Copy !req
95. Well, this is the house
I was telling you about.Copy !req
96. It just came on the market.Copy !req
97. It's a 2,300 square
foot mid colonial home.Copy !req
98. Detached garage. Pilates?Copy !req
99. Excuse me?Copy !req
100. Pilates.Copy !req
101. Is there a gym my
wife can do Pilates?Copy !req
102. Oh, you're about five
minutes from the local gym.Copy !req
103. Pilates. Bottled Water?Copy !req
104. Oh! Um, you have
such a lovely family!Copy !req
105. It must have been a
big drive from the city?Copy !req
106. Tesla. We have a Tesla.Copy !req
107. Wi-Fi! Wi-Fi!Copy !req
108. Is there Wi-Fi?Copy !req
109. No Wi-Fi. Bottled water.Copy !req
110. Well, come on in, let
me show you around!Copy !req
111. Okay, this is a three bedroom
house with bathrooms.Copy !req
112. Front yard and back yard.Copy !req
113. Eric... what are you doing?Copy !req
114. Oh, I just got some clients
here looking to relocate.Copy !req
115. These people are from the city.Copy !req
116. Uh, cortado.Copy !req
117. Bottled water.Copy !req
118. Wi-Fi. Pilates.Copy !req
119. Uh, excuse me one moment.Copy !req
120. Eric!Copy !req
121. What are you up to?Copy !req
122. I got a job as a real
estate agent, mom.Copy !req
123. You are not a
real estate agent...Copy !req
124. Neither are you...Copy !req
125. Now just march right back homeCopy !req
126. and I will see you when
I am done with work!Copy !req
127. Mom, real estate
is an open market.Copy !req
128. You're not the only one
who gets to take advantageCopy !req
129. of all the city people.Copy !req
130. Cortado?Copy !req
131. Cortado!Copy !req
132. Oh, bottled water?Copy !req
133. Wi-Fi!Copy !req
134. Metal bottled water!Copy !req
135. Eric, this house is
being representedCopy !req
136. by South Park Realtors.Copy !req
137. You don't get to just
walk in and show it!Copy !req
138. Oh! Ok! That's fine!Copy !req
139. I have tons of
friends in South Park!Copy !req
140. I'll get my own listings!Copy !req
141. People... this
is the most exciting timeCopy !req
142. in the history of South Park...Copy !req
143. As you know, there are
people from all over the countryCopy !req
144. leaving the cities and coming
to small, rural towns like ours.Copy !req
145. It's truly incredible
for all of us.Copy !req
146. With this new surge of
people from urban areas,Copy !req
147. we're seeing more town
money from sales taxes,Copy !req
148. more profit in our
local businesses...Copy !req
149. My bakery has seen a
20% increase in sales.Copy !req
150. Oh, I just love all these
city people moving in!Copy !req
151. That's right. It's great
to have chitty people.Copy !req
152. These chitty people come
with their fancy chitty clothesCopy !req
153. and their big chitty cars.Copy !req
154. You know, and
these chitty peopleCopy !req
155. have a chitty way
of doing thingsCopy !req
156. that will expose us
all to their chitty ideas.Copy !req
157. Yeah, and they've got city
money and city lifestyles!Copy !req
158. Chitty money, chitty lifestyles.Copy !req
159. And they'll move here and
bring their chitty families.Copy !req
160. And their cultured, chitty
kids will hang out with our kidsCopy !req
161. and expose them
to their chitty ways.Copy !req
162. I've always dreamed
of South ParkCopy !req
163. becoming more
than a little hick town.Copy !req
164. And these city people bring
with them... a new hope.Copy !req
165. Here's to the future, everyone!Copy !req
166. The future!Copy !req
167. Okay, so this is a three
bedroom two and a half bath...Copy !req
168. Come on in, everybody!Copy !req
169. Wi-Fi?Copy !req
170. - Wha... Wha... Wha... Wha?
- LaCroix.Copy !req
171. You got about 2,300 square feetCopy !req
172. and there is a
finished basement.Copy !req
173. Oat milk. Oat milk.Copy !req
174. Detached garage...Copy !req
175. Stairs head up to the master,Copy !req
176. which is an en suite,
if I remember correctly.Copy !req
177. Let's get on back
to the kitchen...Copy !req
178. Cortado?Copy !req
179. You've got a nice, big
kitchen, pretty, new appliances.Copy !req
180. Door in the back gets
you out to the garage.Copy !req
181. Excuse me, what are you doing?Copy !req
182. Just showing them your house.Copy !req
183. Come on, let's check
out the second floor...Copy !req
184. Our house isn't for sale! Hey!Copy !req
185. Nice, big bathroom
for the two rooms up here.Copy !req
186. Tweek's grandma is
staying in one of the rooms,Copy !req
187. which serves as an office
space when she's not here.Copy !req
188. And then we are back down
to the spacious living room!Copy !req
189. Will you please
get out of our house.Copy !req
190. Yeah, we're just about done.Copy !req
191. Well, what do you guys think?Copy !req
192. MacBook, Tesla.Copy !req
193. I'm sorry, I didn't get that...Copy !req
194. My son left his
MacBook in the Tesla.Copy !req
195. Oh, sure, well, let's
head on out now.Copy !req
196. We can take a look
at Jimmy's house.Copy !req
197. It doesn't have
such sucky furniture.Copy !req
198. Let me talk to these guysCopy !req
199. and see if we can
come up with a number.Copy !req
200. I think I can get you
4 million for this place.Copy !req
201. $4 million? Really?Copy !req
202. I'll be in touch.Copy !req
203. Told you our furniture sucked!Copy !req
204. Hey... Hey, John, I
got some bad news...Copy !req
205. We just lost another client
to South Park Realty Group.Copy !req
206. What? We're losing
people like crazy.Copy !req
207. These guys are ruthless.Copy !req
208. Who is this South
Park Realty Group?Copy !req
209. Has anyone heard of them!Copy !req
210. It appears to be
mostly one agent.Copy !req
211. A-A pretty young guy...Copy !req
212. Can't have been in
the business that long...Copy !req
213. Oh, my God...Copy !req
214. That's a pretty
damn good picture.Copy !req
215. How'd he get that
kind of depth of field?Copy !req
216. I don't know he's gotta be
using some kind of soft filter...Copy !req
217. Nothing I've ever seen.Copy !req
218. Alright, everyone!Copy !req
219. Looks like we've got
some competition!Copy !req
220. If anyone thinks they
can take our clients,Copy !req
221. they've got another
thing coming.Copy !req
222. Everyone get up. We're
gonna retake our pictures!Copy !req
223. Awww!Copy !req
224. No, no, no, we're
getting our butts kicked,Copy !req
225. and we need to show
this kid what we can do!Copy !req
226. Come on, Chris! You
gotta look really welcoming!Copy !req
227. Ugh. I'm trying...Copy !req
228. Come on, arch your back more!Copy !req
229. I'm, ugh, arched
as far as I can...Copy !req
230. Come on, Chris, you
wanna lose another sale?Copy !req
231. Arch your back more!Copy !req
232. I-I got it...Copy !req
233. That's good, we got
it... Get in here, Carol!Copy !req
234. Got it! Ok, next!Copy !req
235. Hey, guys, it's Eric from
South Park Realty Group.Copy !req
236. Are you dreaming of
moving out of the cityCopy !req
237. and into the
beautiful countryside?Copy !req
238. I want you to check
out Clyde's house.Copy !req
239. This is a 2,300 square
foot mid colonial home...Copy !req
240. Detached garage... now
listing for just $3.5 million.Copy !req
241. Let's check it out.Copy !req
242. This house is so spacious.Copy !req
243. I think my cameraman
Butters can attest to this.Copy !req
244. Isn't this nice, Butters?Copy !req
245. Yeah, it's real roomy!Copy !req
246. Just look at these amenities.Copy !req
247. These giant, glass double doors
lead to the unfinished backyard.Copy !req
248. Plenty of room here for
a pool or a horse stable.Copy !req
249. This is just one of the
amazing properties we haveCopy !req
250. at South Park Realty Group.Copy !req
251. We've got other
great listings, like...Copy !req
252. And my personal
favorite, Kyle's house.Copy !req
253. Get out of that sewage
drain you call a cityCopy !req
254. and start living the country
life you've always wanted.Copy !req
255. South Park Realty Group.Copy !req
256. Get out of the city and
into beautiful South Park.Copy !req
257. Uh, Liane, you
got a call, line 2.Copy !req
258. Sounds like a broker
interested in 4600 Highgate.Copy !req
259. Ooh! Okay.Copy !req
260. Hi! This is Liane with
South Park Realtors.Copy !req
261. How's it going?
This is Eric CartmanCopy !req
262. with South Park Realty Group.Copy !req
263. Eric, stop it.Copy !req
264. Well, I'm standing
here with some clientsCopy !req
265. who want to make a deal
on this Highgate place.Copy !req
266. They wanna offer $175,000.Copy !req
267. You are going to
get me fired, Eric.Copy !req
268. And then we are
going to lose our home.Copy !req
269. $175,000 is a great number...
$25,000 below asking,Copy !req
270. but you know you're
never gonna get $200,000.Copy !req
271. Don't worry, these
deals are always like this.Copy !req
272. I am doing this job for us!Copy !req
273. So we can have a
roof over our heads!Copy !req
274. The HVAC all needs to
be redone and you know it.Copy !req
275. I am not talking
about this anymore!Copy !req
276. Okay, that's fine mom, why
don't you go to fucking hell?Copy !req
277. It always gets like
this with agents.Copy !req
278. Don't worry, she'll
call back, watch.Copy !req
279. South Park Realty
Group, this is Eric.Copy !req
280. You are in so much
trouble, young man.Copy !req
281. Okay, okay...Copy !req
282. $180,000, but that's
as high as I can do.Copy !req
283. We got it.Copy !req
284. It just isn't fair...Copy !req
285. We retook all our pictures,Copy !req
286. and what does South
Park Really Group do?Copy !req
287. They go and make a video.Copy !req
288. And just like that, they
take all our customers.Copy !req
289. I think maybe real estate
just isn't the same anymore.Copy !req
290. Maybe we gotta start making
fancy videos to keep up.Copy !req
291. Excuse me, there's all these
City People moving into town...Copy !req
292. And I think I'd like
to sell my property.Copy !req
293. - R-Really?
- That's great!Copy !req
294. - Hey, hey, sir...
- We can sell your house!Copy !req
295. Move! Move! Get! Get!Copy !req
296. That's a very smart idea!Copy !req
297. It's definitely a sellers'
market right now!Copy !req
298. It's good you came
to South Park Realtors.Copy !req
299. What kind of house is it?Copy !req
300. Once in a lifetime, a
property comes up for saleCopy !req
301. that is so unique,
it defies words.Copy !req
302. We know that good housesCopy !req
303. are getting hard to
come by in South Park...Copy !req
304. and that's why we are so excitedCopy !req
305. to bring you this
exceptional new property.Copy !req
306. This is the historic
Aspen Park Hot Dog.Copy !req
307. 200 square feet of pure luxury.Copy !req
308. Let's check it out.Copy !req
309. You want to move out of the cityCopy !req
310. and enjoy the laid
back country life?Copy !req
311. It's all here.Copy !req
312. Find out more about
this dream home todayCopy !req
313. at South Park Realtors.Copy !req
314. LaCroix? LaCroix?Copy !req
315. - Wi-Fi?
- LaCroix?Copy !req
316. Huh... Sounds
like chitty people.Copy !req
317. Oh, no, there's way
too many chitty people!Copy !req
318. Go on! Go, go, shoo!Copy !req
319. Too many of you
chitty people! Go on!Copy !req
320. Go on, shoo, chitty people!Copy !req
321. People... We have
a giant problem.Copy !req
322. There are now so
many city peopleCopy !req
323. looking for houses
in South Park...Copy !req
324. that it could destroy
our rebounding economy.Copy !req
325. Uh... How so?Copy !req
326. I thought city people
were good for our economy.Copy !req
327. They are, but
Mr. Kim has a theory,Copy !req
328. and I think you all
better listen to him.Copy !req
329. Mr. Kim.Copy !req
330. What's the one thing
chitty people hate most?Copy !req
331. Other chitty people.Copy !req
332. Chitty people wanna
get out of the city.Copy !req
333. If too many come here...Copy !req
334. South Park becomes chittyCopy !req
335. and then all the chitty
people gonna leave.Copy !req
336. We can't let that happen.Copy !req
337. Not when things are finally
starting to turn around!Copy !req
338. So then we have to
find a way to stop this.Copy !req
339. It's the damn
real estate agents!Copy !req
340. They're the ones who
are going overboard.Copy !req
341. They only care about
their commissions!Copy !req
342. Yes, we have to tell the
realtors to cool their jets!Copy !req
343. Realtors don't care
about anything but money.Copy !req
344. We have to show them who's
really in charge of this town...Copy !req
345. Jimbo... go to your gun store
and get the necessary supplies.Copy !req
346. I'm declaring open season...Copy !req
347. on real estate agents.Copy !req
348. Cortado?Copy !req
349. Cortado. Oat milk?Copy !req
350. Bottled Water...
Metal Bottle Water.Copy !req
351. LaCroix?Copy !req
352. LaCroix!Copy !req
353. Metal bottle water?
Edamame. Edamame.Copy !req
354. Welcome, Home Buyers!Copy !req
355. I'm Eric with South
Park Realty Group.Copy !req
356. We hope you're enjoying the
provided food and beverages.Copy !req
357. LaCroix!Copy !req
358. Yes, that's right!Copy !req
359. You know, here at
South Park Realty Group,Copy !req
360. we've had some
amazing listings...Copy !req
361. Craig's house, Jimmy's house...Copy !req
362. But I think you'll all agree
that what we have for you todayCopy !req
363. is a whole nother level.Copy !req
364. I present to you...Copy !req
365. Tolkien's house!Copy !req
366. - Baw?
- Wha... Wha... Wha... Wha... Wha?Copy !req
367. These owners have
just moved out to a farm,Copy !req
368. and we're listing this house
at just under $50 million.Copy !req
369. Yes! Go on in!Copy !req
370. Check it out! Make me an offer!Copy !req
371. - Pilates?
- Pilates?Copy !req
372. You are in big
trouble, young man!Copy !req
373. This is my listing, mom!Copy !req
374. I have had it with you!Copy !req
375. Come here right now!Copy !req
376. This is my listing, mom!Copy !req
377. Eric!Copy !req
378. What the hell? Over here...Copy !req
379. What happened here?Copy !req
380. They're too smart for us.
South Park Realty Group.Copy !req
381. We tried to keep up...Copy !req
382. Took our pictures
again... Ahghg!Copy !req
383. My spine is broken.Copy !req
384. Well, it serves you right for
what you're doing to our town!Copy !req
385. You're driving all
the city people away!Copy !req
386. Not us... South
Park Realty Group...Copy !req
387. they upset the natural balance.Copy !req
388. Real estate agents
don't really do anything.Copy !req
389. If they start doing stuff,Copy !req
390. then the whole housing
market goes crazy.Copy !req
391. Where is South Park
Realty Group located?Copy !req
392. They're showing a house...Copy !req
393. The Tolkien house...Copy !req
394. You have to stop them.Copy !req
395. Ahg! Help!Copy !req
396. Somebody call Child
Protective Services!Copy !req
397. Eric, you're only
making it worse!Copy !req
398. I am not doing a
co-brokering deal, mom,Copy !req
399. it's not gonna happen.Copy !req
400. This isn't about that,
Eric, and you know it!Copy !req
401. You're upset.Copy !req
402. You're upset because you don't
want your mom to have a job!Copy !req
403. That isn't true.Copy !req
404. It is true! You're scared
and you're jealousCopy !req
405. that a job will take my
attention away from you!Copy !req
406. You just want to offer the
sellers a lower commissionCopy !req
407. to list this house and it's
not going to work, mom!Copy !req
408. It's ok to be scared, Eric.Copy !req
409. I know that I'm the
only family you have,Copy !req
410. but you're making
everything worse for us!Copy !req
411. I see one!Copy !req
412. There's a real estate
agent right there!Copy !req
413. There's a big one
and a little, fat one!Copy !req
414. Eric, you need to
stop this right now.Copy !req
415. When I close this deal, mom,Copy !req
416. I'm gonna be the
richest kid in town!Copy !req
417. It's doesn't work
that way, Eric!Copy !req
418. You aren't going to
make any money...Copy !req
419. You're just driving
up the marketCopy !req
420. and none of your deals
will make it through escrow!Copy !req
421. Well, we'll just see
in 30 days, won't we?Copy !req
422. Except for some of my deals,Copy !req
423. which have a 45 day
contingency period!Copy !req
424. Fine, Eric.Copy !req
425. Will you stop all
this if I quit my job?Copy !req
426. And you won't get any other job?Copy !req
427. No.Copy !req
428. And your only job will be me?Copy !req
429. And you'll be home when
I get back from schoolCopy !req
430. and have my mid afternoon
meal all ready on the table?Copy !req
431. Yes, Eric...Copy !req
432. Yes..Copy !req
433. Hold yer fire!Copy !req
434. Come on out, ya
damn real estate agents!Copy !req
435. Don't shoot! I am not
a real estate agent!Copy !req
436. I am quitting as of right now.Copy !req
437. And South Park Realty
Group is no more.Copy !req
438. We did it... We fucking did it!Copy !req
439. Real
Estate is a delicate balance.Copy !req
440. It has to be left to
the professionals.Copy !req
441. There's a great migration
happening all over America.Copy !req
442. And if we do it right...Copy !req
443. Everyone ends up in a
home... that they can afford.Copy !req
444. I think it's cool we
live in a hot dog.Copy !req
445. We have everything we need here.Copy !req
446. We've got running water,
a couch to sleep on.Copy !req
447. And most important,
we have each other.Copy !req
448. Weak...
I live in a hot dog.Copy !req