1. Yes, sir... If you're looking
to move out of the city,Copy !req
2. I think your family
would love South Park.Copy !req
3. You can get four times the house hereCopy !req
4. that you can get in the city.Copy !req
5. A cortado? Is that like a coffee?Copy !req
6. Yeah, we... We have a coffee shop here.Copy !req
7. We're up in the mountains
about an hour from Denver...Copy !req
8. Do you think you could drive
out from the city this weekendCopy !req
9. and I could show you some properties?Copy !req
10. Oh, you have a Tesla? Oh, how nice.Copy !req
11. South Park... yeah, it's
a charming country village.Copy !req
12. If you're able to work from home,Copy !req
13. I think you'll really
love it out here...Copy !req
14. LaCroix? The sparkling Mineral Water?Copy !req
15. Yes, I do believe we have
that in our stores here...Copy !req
16. We're seeing a massive
influx of city peopleCopy !req
17. moving out here to the country.Copy !req
18. And the truth is we just don't
have enough real estate agentsCopy !req
19. to keep up with all the demand.Copy !req
20. Well, I don't have much experience,Copy !req
21. but I thought I'd
give real estate a try.Copy !req
22. Mrs. Cartman, being a real estate agentCopy !req
23. takes a lot of intellect
and a lot of raw talent.Copy !req
24. You have to get your picture taken.Copy !req
25. Get people to like the picture and go,Copy !req
26. "Oh, I'd like to hang
out with that person."Copy !req
27. And then act like you like those peopleCopy !req
28. when you show them houses.Copy !req
29. Well, I do believe I'm good
with people, and the truth is...Copy !req
30. I need to do this for my son.Copy !req
31. Our... rent is going upCopy !req
32. because of all the new
people moving into town...Copy !req
33. And I don't think I
can afford it anymore.Copy !req
34. Well, then, I'm going to
give you a shot, Mrs. Cartman.Copy !req
35. For your little boy.Copy !req
36. God dammit...Copy !req
37. Oh, you piece of shit!Copy !req
38. Hello, sweetie!Copy !req
39. Mom! Where the hell have you been?Copy !req
40. I've been home from
school for like 45 minutes!Copy !req
41. I'm sorry, honey,
mommy had some errands.Copy !req
42. I didn't have anything
to eat except Nutella.Copy !req
43. I was about to call Child Services!Copy !req
44. Honey... Mommy has some big news.Copy !req
45. What.Copy !req
46. I... got a job, Eric.Copy !req
47. I'm your job.Copy !req
48. Oh, honey... It's going to be good.Copy !req
49. Mommy is just going to be
working a few days a weekCopy !req
50. and you can be a big boy
and take care of yourself.Copy !req
51. - No.
- Eric, this has to happen.Copy !req
52. We can't afford to live in this houseCopy !req
53. unless I make more money,
and this job pays really well.Copy !req
54. Wha... What job could you possibly have?Copy !req
55. You don't know how to do anything.Copy !req
56. I'm a real estate agent.Copy !req
57. A what?Copy !req
58. Hey, Butters, I need your help.Copy !req
59. Well... Well, sure,
Eric! What's goin' on?Copy !req
60. Butters, I have some shocking news...Copy !req
61. My mom got a job.Copy !req
62. Oh... Oh, and you're
worried that maybe nowCopy !req
63. your mom won't always be
there to take care of you?Copy !req
64. What? No. My mom got a job.Copy !req
65. My mom is dumb as shitCopy !req
66. and somebody is paying
her to do something.Copy !req
67. Have you ever heard of a
real estate agent, Butters?Copy !req
68. - Well, not really.
- Yeah, well, neither had I.Copy !req
69. So I looked it up on a bunch
of those shows and stuff.Copy !req
70. You don't do anything.Copy !req
71. You just look nice and hug peopleCopy !req
72. and then when someone buys or
sells a house, you make money.Copy !req
73. Wow! Well, that sounds like a good deal!Copy !req
74. It's more than a good deal, Butters,Copy !req
75. it's legal theft.Copy !req
76. If my mom can be a real estate agent,Copy !req
77. then literally anyone in the world can.Copy !req
78. We've got all these people movingCopy !req
79. from the cities into our town,Copy !req
80. I can probably be a millionaire
in just a few days time.Copy !req
81. Wow wee!Copy !req
82. Now, whatever you do,
don't tell anybody.Copy !req
83. If anyone else finds out about this,Copy !req
84. they'll all want to be
real estate agents, too.Copy !req
85. You've always been great
at taking pictures, Butters.Copy !req
86. I won't forget this when I'm rich.Copy !req
87. Gosh, thanks, Eric!Copy !req
88. Okay, Liane... You've got this.Copy !req
89. You can do this.Copy !req
90. Bottled water.
Bottled water. Bottled water.Copy !req
91. Hello there! I believe I
spoke with you on the phone?Copy !req
92. I'm Liane Cartman with
South Park Realtors!Copy !req
93. Uh-huh... Uh-huh...Copy !req
94. Well, this is the house
I was telling you about.Copy !req
95. It just came on the market.Copy !req
96. It's a 2,300 square
foot mid colonial home.Copy !req
97. - Detached garage.
- Pilates?Copy !req
98. - Excuse me?
- Pilates.Copy !req
99. Is there a gym my wife can do Pilates?Copy !req
100. Oh, you're about five
minutes from the local gym.Copy !req
101. Pilates. Bottled Water?Copy !req
102. Oh! Um, you have such a lovely family!Copy !req
103. It must have been
a big drive from the city?Copy !req
104. Tesla. We have a Tesla.Copy !req
105. Wi-Fi! Wi-Fi!Copy !req
106. - Is there Wi-Fi?
- No Wi-Fi. Bottled water.Copy !req
107. Well, come on in, let
me show you around!Copy !req
108. Okay, this is a three
bedroom house with bathrooms.Copy !req
109. Front yard and back yard.Copy !req
110. Eric... what are you doing?Copy !req
111. Oh, I just got some clients
here looking to relocate.Copy !req
112. These people are from the city.Copy !req
113. - Uh, cortado.
- Bottled water.Copy !req
114. Wi-Fi. Pilates.Copy !req
115. Uh, excuse me one moment.Copy !req
116. Eric!Copy !req
117. What are you up to?Copy !req
118. I got a job as a real estate agent, mom.Copy !req
119. You are not a real estate agent...Copy !req
120. - Neither are you...
- Now just march right back homeCopy !req
121. and I will see you when
I am done with work!Copy !req
122. Mom, real estate is an open market.Copy !req
123. You're not the only one
who gets to take advantageCopy !req
124. of all the city people.Copy !req
125. - Cortado?
- Cortado!Copy !req
126. - Oh, bottled water?
- Wi-Fi!Copy !req
127. Metal bottled water!Copy !req
128. Eric, this house is being representedCopy !req
129. by South Park Realtors.Copy !req
130. You don't get to just
walk in and show it!Copy !req
131. Oh! Okay! That's fine!Copy !req
132. I have tons of friends in South Park!Copy !req
133. I'll get my own listings!Copy !req
134. People... this is the most exciting timeCopy !req
135. in the history of South Park...Copy !req
136. As you know, there are people
from all over the countryCopy !req
137. leaving the cities and coming
to small, rural towns like ours.Copy !req
138. It's truly incredible for all of us.Copy !req
139. With this new surge of
people from urban areas,Copy !req
140. we're seeing more town
money from sales taxes,Copy !req
141. more profit in our local businesses...Copy !req
142. My bakery has seen a
20% increase in sales.Copy !req
143. Oh, I just love all these
city people moving in!Copy !req
144. That's right. It's great to
have chitty people.Copy !req
145. These chitty people come with
their fancy chitty clothesCopy !req
146. and their big chitty cars.Copy !req
147. You know, and these chitty peopleCopy !req
148. have a chitty way of doing thingsCopy !req
149. that will expose us all to
their chitty ideas.Copy !req
150. Yeah, and they've got city
money and city lifestyles!Copy !req
151. Chitty money, chitty lifestyles.Copy !req
152. And they'll move here and bring
their chitty families.Copy !req
153. And their cultured, chitty
kids will hang out with our kidsCopy !req
154. and expose them to their chitty ways.Copy !req
155. I've always dreamed of South ParkCopy !req
156. becoming more than a little hick town.Copy !req
157. And these city people bring
with them... a new hope.Copy !req
158. Here's to the future, everyone!Copy !req
159. The future!Copy !req
160. Okay, so this is a three
bedroom two and a half bath...Copy !req
161. Come on in, everybody!Copy !req
162. Wi-Fi?Copy !req
163. - Wha... Wha... Wha... Wha?
- LaCroix.Copy !req
164. You got about 2,300 square feetCopy !req
165. and there is a finished basement.Copy !req
166. - Oat milk.
- Detached garage...Copy !req
167. Stairs head up to the master,Copy !req
168. which is an en suite,
if I remember correctly.Copy !req
169. Let's get on back to the kitchen...Copy !req
170. Cortado?Copy !req
171. You've got a nice, big kitchen,
pretty, new appliances.Copy !req
172. Door in the back gets
you out to the garage.Copy !req
173. Excuse me, what are you doing?Copy !req
174. Just showing them your house.Copy !req
175. Come on, let's check
out the second floor...Copy !req
176. Our house isn't for sale! Hey!Copy !req
177. Nice, big bathroom for
the two rooms up here.Copy !req
178. Tweek's grandma is staying
in one of the rooms,Copy !req
179. which serves as an office
space when she's not here.Copy !req
180. And then we are back down
to the spacious living room!Copy !req
181. Will you please get out of our house?Copy !req
182. Yeah, we're just about done.Copy !req
183. Well, what do you guys think?Copy !req
184. MacBook, Tesla.Copy !req
185. I'm sorry, I didn't get that...Copy !req
186. My son left his MacBook in the Tesla.Copy !req
187. Oh, sure, well, let's head on out now.Copy !req
188. We can take a look at Jimmy's house.Copy !req
189. It doesn't have such sucky furniture.Copy !req
190. Let me talk to these guysCopy !req
191. and see if we can come up with a number.Copy !req
192. I think I can get you
4 million for this place.Copy !req
193. $4 million? Really?Copy !req
194. I'll be in touch.Copy !req
195. Told you our furniture sucked!Copy !req
196. Hey... Hey, John, I got some bad news...Copy !req
197. We just lost another client
to South Park Realty Group.Copy !req
198. - What?
- We're losing people like crazy.Copy !req
199. These guys are ruthless.Copy !req
200. Who is this South Park Realty Group?Copy !req
201. Has anyone heard of them!Copy !req
202. It appears to be mostly one agent.Copy !req
203. A-A pretty young guy...Copy !req
204. Can't have been in the
business that long...Copy !req
205. Oh, my God...Copy !req
206. That's a pretty damn good picture.Copy !req
207. How'd he get that
kind of depth of field?Copy !req
208. I don't know he's gotta be
using some kind of soft filter...Copy !req
209. - Nothing I've ever seen.
- Alright, everyone!Copy !req
210. Looks like we've got some competition!Copy !req
211. If anyone thinks they
can take our clients,Copy !req
212. they've got another thing coming.Copy !req
213. Everyone get up. We're
gonna retake our pictures!Copy !req
214. Awww!Copy !req
215. No, no, no, we're
getting our butts kicked,Copy !req
216. and we need to show
this kid what we can do!Copy !req
217. Come on, Chris! You gotta
look really welcoming!Copy !req
218. Ugh. I'm trying...Copy !req
219. Come on, arch your back more!Copy !req
220. I'm, ugh, arched as far as I can...Copy !req
221. Come on, Chris, you
wanna lose another sale?Copy !req
222. Arch your back more!Copy !req
223. I-I got it...Copy !req
224. That's good, we got
it... Get in here, Carol!Copy !req
225. Got it! Okay, next!Copy !req
226. Hey, guys, it's Eric from
South Park Realty Group.Copy !req
227. Are you dreaming of moving
out of the cityCopy !req
228. and into the beautiful countryside?Copy !req
229. I want you to check out Clyde's house.Copy !req
230. This is a 2,300 square foot
mid colonial home...Copy !req
231. Detached garage... now listing
for just $3.5 million.Copy !req
232. Let's check it out.Copy !req
233. This house is so spacious.Copy !req
234. I think my cameraman Butters
can attest to this.Copy !req
235. Isn't this nice, Butters?Copy !req
236. Yeah, it's real roomy!Copy !req
237. Just look at these amenities.Copy !req
238. These giant, glass double doors lead
to the unfinished backyard.Copy !req
239. Plenty of room here for a
pool or a horse stable.Copy !req
240. This is just one of the amazing
properties we haveCopy !req
241. at South Park Realty Group.Copy !req
242. We've got other great listings, like...Copy !req
243. Craig's house,Copy !req
244. Wendy's house,Copy !req
245. and my personal favorite, Kyle's house.Copy !req
246. Get out of that sewage
drain you call a cityCopy !req
247. and start living the country
life you've always wanted.Copy !req
248. South Park Realty Group.Copy !req
249. Get out of the city and into
beautiful South Park.Copy !req
250. Uh, Liane, you got a call, line 2.Copy !req
251. Sounds like a broker interested
in 4600 Highgate.Copy !req
252. Ooh! Okay.Copy !req
253. Hi! This is Liane with
South Park Realtors.Copy !req
254. How's it going? This is Eric CartmanCopy !req
255. with South Park Realty Group.Copy !req
256. Eric, stop it.Copy !req
257. Well, I'm standing here
with some clientsCopy !req
258. who want to make a deal on
this Highgate place.Copy !req
259. They wanna offer $175,000.Copy !req
260. You are going to get me fired, Eric.Copy !req
261. And then we are going to lose our home.Copy !req
262. $175,000 is a great number...
$25,000 below asking,Copy !req
263. but you know you're never
gonna get $200,000.Copy !req
264. Don't worry, these deals
are always like this.Copy !req
265. I am doing this job for us!Copy !req
266. So we can have a roof over our heads!Copy !req
267. The HVAC all needs to be
redone and you know it.Copy !req
268. I am not talking about this anymore!Copy !req
269. Okay, that's fine mom, why don't
you go to hell?Copy !req
270. It always gets like this with agents.Copy !req
271. Don't worry, she'll call back, watch.Copy !req
272. South Park Realty Group, this is Eric.Copy !req
273. You are in so much trouble, young man.Copy !req
274. Okay, okay...Copy !req
275. $180,000, but that's as
high as I can do.Copy !req
276. We got it.Copy !req
277. It just isn't fair...Copy !req
278. We retook all our pictures,Copy !req
279. and what does South Park
Really Group do?Copy !req
280. They go and make a video.Copy !req
281. And just like that, they
take all our customers.Copy !req
282. I think maybe real estate just
isn't the same anymore.Copy !req
283. Maybe we gotta start making
fancy videos to keep up.Copy !req
284. Excuse me, there's all these City
People moving into town...Copy !req
285. And I think I'd like
to sell my property.Copy !req
286. - R-Really?
- That's great!Copy !req
287. - Hey, hey, sir...
- We can sell your house!Copy !req
288. Move! Move! Get! Get!Copy !req
289. That's a very smart idea!Copy !req
290. It's definitely a sellers'
market right now!Copy !req
291. It's good you came to
South Park Realtors.Copy !req
292. What kind of house is it?Copy !req
293. Once in a lifetime, a property
comes up for saleCopy !req
294. that is so unique, it defies words.Copy !req
295. We know that good housesCopy !req
296. are getting hard to come
by in South Park...Copy !req
297. and that's why we are so excitedCopy !req
298. to bring you this exceptional
new property.Copy !req
299. This is the historic Aspen Park Hot Dog.Copy !req
300. 200 square feet of pure luxury.Copy !req
301. Let's check it out.Copy !req
302. You want to move out of the cityCopy !req
303. and enjoy the laid back country life?Copy !req
304. It's all here.Copy !req
305. Find out more about this
dream home todayCopy !req
306. at South Park Realtors.Copy !req
307. LaCroix? LaCroix?Copy !req
308. Huh... sounds like chitty people.Copy !req
309. Oh, no, that's way
too many chitty people!Copy !req
310. Go on! Go, go, shoo!Copy !req
311. Too many chitty people! Go on!Copy !req
312. Go on, shoo! Chitty people!Copy !req
313. People... We have a giant problem.Copy !req
314. There are now so many city peopleCopy !req
315. looking for houses in South Park...Copy !req
316. that it could destroy our
rebounding economy.Copy !req
317. Uh... How so?Copy !req
318. I thought city people were
good for our economy.Copy !req
319. They are, but Mr. Kim has a theory,Copy !req
320. and I think you all better
listen to him.Copy !req
321. Mr. Kim.Copy !req
322. What's the one thing people hate most?Copy !req
323. Other chitty people.Copy !req
324. Chitty people wanna get out of the city.Copy !req
325. If too many come here...Copy !req
326. South Park become chittyCopy !req
327. and then all the chitty
people gonna leave.Copy !req
328. We can't let that happen.Copy !req
329. Not when things are finally
starting to turn around!Copy !req
330. So then we have to find
a way to stop this.Copy !req
331. It's the damn real estate agents!Copy !req
332. They're the ones who are
going overboard.Copy !req
333. They only care about their commissions!Copy !req
334. Yes, we have to tell the realtors
to cool their jets!Copy !req
335. Realtors don't care about
anything but money.Copy !req
336. We have to show them who's really
in charge of this town...Copy !req
337. Jimbo... go to your gun store and
get the necessary supplies.Copy !req
338. I'm declaring open season...Copy !req
339. on real estate agents.Copy !req
340. Cortado?Copy !req
341. - Cortado.
- Oat milk?Copy !req
342. Bottled Water... Metal Bottle Water.Copy !req
343. - LaCroix?
- LaCroix!Copy !req
344. - Metal bottle water?
- Edamame. Edamame.Copy !req
345. Welcome, Home Buyers!Copy !req
346. I'm Eric with South Park Realty Group.Copy !req
347. We hope you're enjoying the
provided food and beverages.Copy !req
348. LaCroix!Copy !req
349. Yes, that's right!Copy !req
350. You know, here at
South Park Realty Group,Copy !req
351. we've had some amazing listings...Copy !req
352. Craig's house, Jimmy's house...Copy !req
353. But I think you'll all agree
that what we have for you todayCopy !req
354. is a whole nother level.Copy !req
355. I present to you...Copy !req
356. Tolkien's house!Copy !req
357. - Baw?
- Wha... Wha... Wha... Wha... Wha?Copy !req
358. These owners have just
moved out to a farm,Copy !req
359. and we're listing this house
at just under $50 million.Copy !req
360. Yes! Go on in!Copy !req
361. Check it out! Make me an offer!Copy !req
362. You are in big trouble, young man!Copy !req
363. This is my listing, mom!Copy !req
364. I have had it with you!Copy !req
365. - Come here right now!
- This is my listing, mom!Copy !req
366. Eric!Copy !req
367. - What the hell?
- Over here...Copy !req
368. What happened here?Copy !req
369. They're too smart for us.
South Park Realty Group.Copy !req
370. We tried to keep up...Copy !req
371. Took our pictures again... Ahghg!Copy !req
372. My spine is broken.Copy !req
373. Well, it serves you right for
what you're doing to our town!Copy !req
374. You're driving all the city people away!Copy !req
375. Not us... South Park Realty Group...Copy !req
376. they upset the natural balance.Copy !req
377. Real estate agents
don't really do anything.Copy !req
378. If they start doing stuff,Copy !req
379. then the whole housing
market goes crazy.Copy !req
380. Where is South Park
Realty Group located?Copy !req
381. They're showing a house...Copy !req
382. The Tolkien house...Copy !req
383. You have to stop them.Copy !req
384. Ahg! Help!Copy !req
385. Somebody call Child Protective Services!Copy !req
386. Eric, you're only making it worse!Copy !req
387. I am not doing a co-brokering deal, mom,Copy !req
388. it's not gonna happen.Copy !req
389. This isn't about that,
Eric, and you know it!Copy !req
390. You're upset.Copy !req
391. You're upset because you don't
want your mom to have a job!Copy !req
392. That isn't true.Copy !req
393. It is true! You're scared
and you're jealousCopy !req
394. that a job will take my
attention away from you!Copy !req
395. You just want to offer the
sellers a lower commissionCopy !req
396. to list this house and
it's not going to work, mom!Copy !req
397. It's okay to be scared, Eric.Copy !req
398. I know that I'm the
only family you have,Copy !req
399. but you're making
everything worse for us!Copy !req
400. I see one!Copy !req
401. There's a real estate agent right there!Copy !req
402. There's a big one and a little, fat one!Copy !req
403. Eric, you need to stop this right now.Copy !req
404. When I close this deal, mom,Copy !req
405. I'm gonna be the richest kid in town!Copy !req
406. It's doesn't work that way, Eric!Copy !req
407. You aren't going to make any money...Copy !req
408. You're just driving up the marketCopy !req
409. and none of your deals
will make it through escrow!Copy !req
410. Well, we'll just see
in 30 days, won't we?Copy !req
411. Except for some of my deals,Copy !req
412. which have a 45 day contingency period!Copy !req
413. Fine, Eric.Copy !req
414. Will you stop all
this if I quit my job?Copy !req
415. And you won't get any other job?Copy !req
416. No.Copy !req
417. And your only job will be me?Copy !req
418. And you'll be home when
I get back from schoolCopy !req
419. and have my mid afternoon
meal all ready on the table?Copy !req
420. Yes, Eric...Copy !req
421. Yes..Copy !req
422. Hold yer fire!Copy !req
423. Come on out, ya damn real estate agents!Copy !req
424. Don't shoot! I am not
a real estate agent!Copy !req
425. I am quitting as of right now.Copy !req
426. And South Park Realty Group is no more.Copy !req
427. We did it... We did it!Copy !req
428. Real Estate is a delicate balance.Copy !req
429. It has to be left to the professionals.Copy !req
430. There's a great migration
happening all over America.Copy !req
431. And if we do it right...Copy !req
432. Everyone ends up in a home...
that they can afford.Copy !req
433. I think it's cool we live in a hot dog.Copy !req
434. We have everything we need here.Copy !req
435. We've got running water,
a couch to sleep on.Copy !req
436. And most important, we have each other.Copy !req
437. Weak... I live in a hot dog.Copy !req