1. So much has happened.Copy !req
2. I don't know where to start.Copy !req
3. First it was
all the school shootings.Copy !req
4. Then these Wi-Fi scooters
showed up.Copy !req
5. And now we know
that ManBearPig is realCopy !req
6. and we could all be dead
in a matter of years.Copy !req
7. And you believe...Copy !req
8. this all
relates somehowCopy !req
9. to the movie
"Black Panther"Copy !req
10. not being as good
as everyone says it was?Copy !req
11. I know
there's a connection,Copy !req
12. but that isn't
what matters.Copy !req
13. I can't deal with people
anymore.Copy !req
14. It's just, everyone sucks
so hard, you know?Copy !req
15. Everybody is so stupid.Copy !req
16. And they all walk around going,
"Way aya ayay blarhghg."Copy !req
17. And the only thing
that makes me happy,Copy !req
18. the only thing I can trust,Copy !req
19. is this.Copy !req
20. But all people do
is try to keep me from it.Copy !req
21. I'll be in my room,
and my mom will come in and say,Copy !req
22. "Eric, that's enough
time on your phone."Copy !req
23. And then at school...Copy !req
24. "Eric, what are you doing?Copy !req
25. You can't use your phone
at school!"Copy !req
26. And even my friends.Copy !req
27. My own friends, they'll be like,Copy !req
28. "Hey, Cartman,
throw us the ball.Copy !req
29. You're the Goddamn
quarterback."Copy !req
30. It's like everybody needs
something from me.Copy !req
31. All I want is
a little time with my phoneCopy !req
32. instead of always listening
to people's needy bullshit.Copy !req
33. Oh, uh, sorry.
Just —Copy !req
34. Uh, well, you know,Copy !req
35. young people have to deal
with so much today.Copy !req
36. I believe
that what you haveCopy !req
37. is anxiety.Copy !req
38. Anxiety?
Is that cool?Copy !req
39. It's pretty common
these days.Copy !req
40. What it really is
more than anythingCopy !req
41. is an excuse to be lazy and lame
to everyone around you.Copy !req
42. Oh, my God.
That's perfect.Copy !req
43. I'm busy.Copy !req
44. Woman Receptionist:
Mr. Principal.Copy !req
45. I'm busy doing stuff!Copy !req
46. What?Copy !req
47. Woman Receptionist:
The vice principal needs
to speak with you.Copy !req
48. She says it's urgent.Copy !req
49. Oh, PC Principal.Copy !req
50. Uh, y-yes?Copy !req
51. Are you going in
to see the vice principal?Copy !req
52. I really need
to speak with her.Copy !req
53. Uh, yeah.
We're just, uh —Copy !req
54. We're having an important
scheduling to go over.Copy !req
55. Everything is okay
with you two?Copy !req
56. There's no more
inappropriate behavior?Copy !req
57. You know, as a counselor,
I'm here to —Copy !req
58. That's in the past,
Mackey.Copy !req
59. We've paid our dues,Copy !req
60. and we're not hiding
anything anymore.Copy !req
61. Mkay.Copy !req
62. I could use a little help here!Copy !req
63. What's going on?Copy !req
64. Riley said a word that
her sister felt was
insensitive to Muslims.Copy !req
65. Now they're all upset.Copy !req
66. All right.
What word did you use, Riley?Copy !req
67. She just said,
"Aba daba."Copy !req
68. Look, can't we put them
in a daycare?Copy !req
69. Oh, yeah.
That would be really smart.Copy !req
70. If anybody sees them,Copy !req
71. they're gonna figure out
you're the father.Copy !req
72. Well, maybe they won't.Copy !req
73. You wanna risk that?Copy !req
74. The babies
have to stay hiddenCopy !req
75. because if people know
the truth,Copy !req
76. then you're not PC,
and I'm not strong!Copy !req
77. All right,
can I take your order?Copy !req
78. Excuse me.Copy !req
79. What would
you like, sir?Copy !req
80. Just a God—
Can you wait?Copy !req
81. Isn't that your job?
Aren't you a wait-er?Copy !req
82. Hey, could you turn
your phone down, kid?Copy !req
83. This is a restaurant.Copy !req
84. It just so happens
I have anxiety.Copy !req
85. That means I have troubleCopy !req
86. being around assholes
who won't leave me alone!Copy !req
87. Oh, hello, Eric.Copy !req
88. Shut up.
I have anxiety.Copy !req
89. Hey, kid!Copy !req
90. Hey, kid!Copy !req
91. I'm on my phone!Copy !req
92. You're about
to get hit by a car.Copy !req
93. All right, that's it!Copy !req
94. Everyone stop!
Just fucking stop right now!Copy !req
95. Listen up, people!
I have anxiety!Copy !req
96. That means I'm in my shellCopy !req
97. and have a hard time
expressing myself.Copy !req
98. I find it difficult
to engage with others!Copy !req
99. So everyone
shut the fuck up,Copy !req
100. because my anxiety
is up here right now!Copy !req
101. We live in a world
of many distractions.Copy !req
102. It's hard to find peace.Copy !req
103. In the hustle and bustle
of modern times,Copy !req
104. we've lost the one thing
we all need.Copy !req
105. More quality one-on-one time...Copy !req
106. with our phone.Copy !req
107. But now you can have it
with Buddha Box.Copy !req
108. Simply fit the patented box
on your headCopy !req
109. and set its Bluetooth
to your mobile device.Copy !req
110. Inside Buddha Box,Copy !req
111. your phone is projected
two inches from your face,Copy !req
112. and the noise-canceling
headphonesCopy !req
113. let you hear your phone
without any outside noise,Copy !req
114. giving you peace from...Copy !req
115. that annoying Uber driver
who wants to talk,Copy !req
116. those people at work
who act like they need stuff.Copy !req
117. I want to be enlightened
like the Buddha,Copy !req
118. but I've got
these fuckin' kids.Copy !req
119. Let Buddha Box take you to
a place of peace and serenityCopy !req
120. where you can have quality,
uninterrupted timeCopy !req
121. with your phone.Copy !req
122. I was stressed out
and feeling anxious.Copy !req
123. After just 8 to 10 hours
in Buddha Box,Copy !req
124. I feel refreshed and ready
to take on anything.Copy !req
125. Babe, can you please come say hi
to my mother while she's here?Copy !req
126. Order Buddha Box today,Copy !req
127. and you too can haveCopy !req
128. that quiet, quality time
with your phone.Copy !req
129. Like the Buddha.Copy !req
130. What the hell
is that?Copy !req
131. I think
it's Cartman.Copy !req
132. What is it
doing?Copy !req
133. Ha! That's so sweet!Copy !req
134. That video seriously
makes me laugh!Copy !req
135. Lemme check my e-mail again!Copy !req
136. Oh, man, nothing from Lorenz
yet? Whatever, weak.Copy !req
137. Oh, I gotta see that post
from Clyde again!Copy !req
138. Dude.Copy !req
139. Dude! What the hell
are you doing?Copy !req
140. What? What?
Who's that?
Get off of me!Copy !req
141. Oh, sorry, Craig.
Didn't see you there.Copy !req
142. Yeah, 'cause you got
a stupid box on your head.Copy !req
143. Oh, there's nothing stupid
about it.Copy !req
144. Don't you wish you had a way
to deal with your anxiety?Copy !req
145. My anxiety?Copy !req
146. I see it in you, Craig.Copy !req
147. With your parents
and relationships.Copy !req
148. Imagine being able to shut them
out for a little while, Craig,Copy !req
149. so you can focus
on what matters.Copy !req
150. With Buddha Box, you can cut out
all the unwanted noise.Copy !req
151. Not have to deal
with conversationsCopy !req
152. that are of no interest
to you.Copy !req
153. Well, I have to admit,Copy !req
154. sometimes when me and Tweek
are together,Copy !req
155. it's — it's like he wants
my atten—Copy !req
156. All right, children,Copy !req
157. we have a lot to go over
for today's quiz.Copy !req
158. Who can tell me
where we left off?Copy !req
159. Eric.Copy !req
160. Eric Cartman.Copy !req
161. $34 million box office?Copy !req
162. How the hell does "Creed II"
do $34 million opening weekend?Copy !req
163. What's the weather like
tomorrow?Copy !req
164. Oh, it's snowing?
I gotta tell Lorenz. I —Copy !req
165. Whoa, whoa!
Hey!Copy !req
166. What do you think
you're doing?Copy !req
167. Excuse me.
That's my Buddha Box.Copy !req
168. You aren't using this
during class time.Copy !req
169. It relaxes me.
Ask my therapist.Copy !req
170. I have anxiety,
you dumb bitch.Copy !req
171. I don't know
what makes you thinkCopy !req
172. you're different
from everyone else,Copy !req
173. but nobody gets away
with slandering teachersCopy !req
174. at this school!Copy !req
175. Aw, man.
That looks so sweet.Copy !req
176. Hey.Copy !req
177. Hey!Copy !req
178. Oh. PC Principal.
Hello.Copy !req
179. Just what do you think
you're doing?Copy !req
180. I'm letting go of stress and
being calm, like the Buddha.Copy !req
181. There are no boxes
on your head in school.Copy !req
182. Hey. Whoa, man.
What's going on?Copy !req
183. Are you suffering
from anxiety?Copy !req
184. What are you
talking about?Copy !req
185. It's okay.
I have it, too.Copy !req
186. Anxiety
is very real.Copy !req
187. But there is help
for people like us.Copy !req
188. What the fuck
are you doing?Copy !req
189. Hey! What the fuck
are you doing?Copy !req
190. Oh, hey. I just needed to answer
a couple e-mails really fast.Copy !req
191. With a box
on your head?Copy !req
192. I got one for you, too.Copy !req
193. It's Buddha Box.Copy !req
194. Look, you and I have been
having a lot of problems.Copy !req
195. Clearly what we both needCopy !req
196. is more quality, one-on-one time
with our phones.Copy !req
197. I don't need a box on my head
to use the phone.Copy !req
198. I'm sorry!
I was trying to be helpful!Copy !req
199. All right, Riley, give that back
to your brother.Copy !req
200. Bailey, no.Copy !req
201. Harper, don't —
Harp-er!Copy !req
202. Hey, Mike, what's that
you're drinking?Copy !req
203. This? Oh.
It's a Cosmopolitan.Copy !req
204. I know, I know.
It's a pussy drink.Copy !req
205. Hey,
be careful, guys.Copy !req
206. There's some PC Babies
over there.Copy !req
207. Oh, great.Copy !req
208. Come on, I didn't mean
pussy drinkCopy !req
209. as in
female genitalia.Copy !req
210. Okay, I'm sorry!Copy !req
211. I'll order
a Black Russian!Copy !req
212. Hey, what's all that racket
down there?Copy !req
213. Oh, there's
some PC BabiesCopy !req
214. upset about certain
drink descriptions.Copy !req
215. Fine. We'll take them
off the menu.Copy !req
216. Who's makin' a difference?
Who's the future?Copy !req
217. Here it comes!
Block it!Copy !req
218. What the fuck,
dude?Copy !req
219. What is your
Goddamn problem?Copy !req
220. What's going on?Copy !req
221. They just scored again,
you fat fuck!Copy !req
222. Oh, I'm sorry!Copy !req
223. I'm sorry I'm dealing
with my anxiety!Copy !req
224. Do you know how hard it is
for people with my conditionCopy !req
225. to come out and even do
things like this?Copy !req
226. Living with anxiety is
awful, huh, Craig?Copy !req
227. Can we get another
goalie, please?Copy !req
228. Oh, yeah!
Sure!Copy !req
229. Yeah, because people
with anxietyCopy !req
230. shouldn't be allowed
to play sports, right, Kyle?Copy !req
231. You know, our world
is dark and scary enoughCopy !req
232. without people like you
making us feel inferior.Copy !req
233. Asshole.Copy !req
234. Fuck this.Copy !req
235. My parents didn't come here
to watch their son loseCopy !req
236. by 20 points!Copy !req
237. Come on, Dad.
Let's go!Copy !req
238. Dad?Copy !req
239. Strong
River? Bailey?Copy !req
240. Emory?Copy !req
241. It's okay.
We're gonna find them.Copy !req
242. I can't believe
you were on your phone.Copy !req
243. You were on
your phone, too.Copy !req
244. It was my time
to be on the phone.Copy !req
245. You were on yours
all morning!Copy !req
246. You're seriously gonna make this
all my fault.
Yes!Copy !req
247. Because last I checked,
you didn't even want me aroundCopy !req
248. as a partner to the PC Babies,
even though I —Copy !req
249. Oh, God!
I'm not doing this again.Copy !req
250. Even though you need me
to do shit for youCopy !req
251. every 10
fucking minutes.Copy !req
252. You don't get to just say
whatever you —Copy !req
253. Oh. Okay, cool.
Fine with me.Copy !req
254. I'm the one who has
a fucking problemCopy !req
255. on their fucking phone.Copy !req
256. You know, usually,
I'm afraid to tell youCopy !req
257. what I really think,
but you wanna know something?Copy !req
258. You wanna —Copy !req
259. You wanna know
what I really think?Copy !req
260. Anxiety can make you feel
unable to cope.Copy !req
261. But living with someone
who has anxiety canCopy !req
262. be a bit of a roller coaster,
as well.Copy !req
263. We have to support our
loved ones with their anxietyCopy !req
264. and try to understand
their illness.Copy !req
265. I just feel like Craig has
changed so much lately!Copy !req
266. He barely even
talks to me anymore!Copy !req
267. Well, because his anxiety
makes him feel likeCopy !req
268. anything he says
might sound wrong.Copy !req
269. That's why we must nurture
our loved onesCopy !req
270. so they feel safe.Copy !req
271. Eric, I just feel like you have
so much to offer the worldCopy !req
272. and it kills me that
you're so afraidCopy !req
273. to let your
inner you shine.Copy !req
274. That guy's such a douche.Copy !req
275. What was that — what was that
one show he was on?Copy !req
276. Maybe you — you wanna
text him that?Copy !req
277. Oh, yeah, "B.J. and the Bear."
That show was so dumb.Copy !req
278. What kind of monkey
was that anyway?Copy !req
279. What was that —
What was that monkey —Copy !req
280. Wait — What the —
What the hell is this?Copy !req
281. Oh, God damn it!Copy !req
282. Mom, will you stop texting me,
please? I'm trying to relax!Copy !req
283. Look, we're all
just tryingCopy !req
284. to understand
this condition,Copy !req
285. and it's like
you're not listening.Copy !req
286. We're doing
everything we canCopy !req
287. to keep our anxiety
under control!Copy !req
288. Do you think I even wanna
be here right now!Copy !req
289. I am freaking out!Copy !req
290. Can we go now?Copy !req
291. Yeah,
that's pretty cool.Copy !req
292. Hey! Hey!
What's going on here?Copy !req
293. Why aren't you people
working?Copy !req
294. We can't keep
buildin', sir.Copy !req
295. We got a bunch of protestors
who won't let us work.Copy !req
296. Protestors?
Who?Copy !req
297. Ugh, just a bunch
of PC BabiesCopy !req
298. who think building this thing
is wrong.Copy !req
299. All right! All right!
What do you PC Babies want?Copy !req
300. I guess they're upset
because the new viaductCopy !req
301. is being financed by a state
rather than county institution.Copy !req
302. Aw, come on, PC Babies!
Why does that matter?Copy !req
303. I guess the state
refused to financeCopy !req
304. a proposed program
on race-relation education,Copy !req
305. and they see it
as hypocritical.Copy !req
306. God damn it!Copy !req
307. Not everyone cares about
race relation programs!Copy !req
308. Come on, PC Babies!
We got a job to do!Copy !req
309. Crying continues ]Copy !req
310. All right, all right,
just calm down, lady!Copy !req
311. You want to file
a Missing-Persons report?Copy !req
312. No! No, we don't want to file
anything specific.Copy !req
313. We just need help finding
some PC Babies.Copy !req
314. PC Babies?Copy !req
315. They usually hang out
at liberal arts colleges.Copy !req
316. You could find some there.Copy !req
317. No, no, it's five
specific PC Babies.Copy !req
318. Tony, wasn't
there a reportCopy !req
319. of some PC Babies
down at the Mexican border?Copy !req
320. No, no, these PC Babies
wouldn't have gotten that far.Copy !req
321. They can barely walk.
I'm their mother.Copy !req
322. Okay, okay.
Last name?Copy !req
323. Woman.Copy !req
324. First name?Copy !req
325. S-strong...Copy !req
326. Okay.
And you're the father?Copy !req
327. No! No!Copy !req
328. I am her superior
at work!Copy !req
329. Don't be ridiculous!Copy !req
330. You think I took advantage
of my position?Copy !req
331. I'm not some two bit floozy...
I'm not Harvey Weinstein,Copy !req
332. who goes around sleeping
with the boss!
all right?Copy !req
333. I have nothing but respect
for females in my workplace...
I am a strong woman!Copy !req
334. We'll, uh...
see what we can do.Copy !req
335. In the meantime, you'll just
have to take a seat and wait.Copy !req
336. Go.Copy !req
337. Go!Copy !req
338. What do you want?Copy !req
339. Go down the slide
or get out of the way!Copy !req
340. You think I even want
to be here, Kyle?Copy !req
341. My therapist told me
I need to force myselfCopy !req
342. to go out and do things
to overcome my anxiety.Copy !req
343. Can we move him,
please?Copy !req
344. Oh! Oh, I see!Copy !req
345. People with anxiety shouldn't be
allowed at water parks.Copy !req
346. Is that it, Kyle?Copy !req
347. Hey, everybody!
Just so you know!Copy !req
348. Kyle thinks people with anxiety
should just stay home!Copy !req
349. Yeah, I'm trying to come
out of my shell,Copy !req
350. but Dr. Kyle here is just
worried about his place in line.Copy !req
351. Get. Off. My. Towel.Copy !req
352. Get off my towel!Copy !req
353. God damn it!Copy !req
354. I seriously can't get
a minute of peace!Copy !req
355. Why is it that people who don't
have a Buddha boxCopy !req
356. are always flipping
Buddha boxes off the headsCopy !req
357. of people with anxiety?Copy !req
358. I got news for you, Cartman!
Everyone has anxiety!Copy !req
359. Everyone gets nervous!Copy !req
360. Everyone is afraid
being around people!Copy !req
361. Everyone has feelings
they'd rather stay home alone.Copy !req
362. And you know what they do?
They get over it!Copy !req
363. And they stop being
a piece of shit.Copy !req
364. Everyone has anxiety?Copy !req
365. Yes.Copy !req
366. Oh, my God!Copy !req
367. I know what
I have to do now!Copy !req
368. Y-You're right, Kyle!Copy !req
369. You're right!Copy !req
370. What?Copy !req
371. No, no!Copy !req
372. What did I just do?Copy !req
373. Should have just let him be
on his phone, dude.Copy !req
374. You know what the kids like
today?Copy !req
375. They like music that matters!Copy !req
376. I think you guys
got what it takesCopy !req
377. to be the next big thing!Copy !req
378. The PC Babies!Copy !req
379. That's what I'm talkin' about!
That stuff is raw!Copy !req
380. Everyone loves you,
PC Babies!Copy !req
381. We're gonna make you famous!Copy !req
382. All right, PC Babies,
let's hear what you got.Copy !req
383. All right,
South Park,Copy !req
384. and now here's that special
treat we told you about.Copy !req
385. Live with us in the studio
is a hot new band —Copy !req
386. The PC Babies.Copy !req
387. They're gonna perform
their new song,Copy !req
388. which is about the injustice
of white people in dreadlocks.Copy !req
389. It's called "Waaaaghgh."Copy !req
390. Riley?Copy !req
391. Th-That's Bailey!Copy !req
392. It's the PC Babies —
guess they're all the rage now.Copy !req
393. Come on!Copy !req
394. To quiet one's mind...Copy !req
395. one must have a dialogue
with oneself.Copy !req
396. I have found enlightenment,Copy !req
397. but there are so many others
who suffer...Copy !req
398. It's very important
to take the timeCopy !req
399. to shut out the outside word.Copy !req
400. In the Hindu religion,
there's a saying, "namaste."Copy !req
401. It means, "Fuck you.
I have anxiety."Copy !req
402. At first, I thought
it was only a few of us.Copy !req
403. But then something was
said to me by Kyle.Copy !req
404. He said "Eric, my friend,
everyone has anxiety."Copy !req
405. I know what
you're thinking.Copy !req
406. Fuck Kyle.Copy !req
407. And normally,
I would agree with you.Copy !req
408. But hear his words.Copy !req
409. Everyone has anxiety.Copy !req
410. We must recognize this disease
as an epidemic.Copy !req
411. Yes, fuck Kyle, but, Mayor,
we have to raise moneyCopy !req
412. to get everyone who has anxiety
the tools they need to cope.Copy !req
413. And how do you think
we get that money?Copy !req
414. How do you suggest
we do this?Copy !req
415. Namaste.Copy !req
416. Na-ma-ste.Copy !req
417. Fuck you, too.Copy !req
418. That was far out,
PC Babies!Copy !req
419. You really rocked
the airwaves!Copy !req
420. Now come on.
We got a photo shoot at 5:00!Copy !req
421. Kids! Kids!Copy !req
422. You're okay!
Thank God!Copy !req
423. Who the hell are you?Copy !req
424. I'm their...
vice principal.Copy !req
425. Yes, and I-I'm
their principal.Copy !req
426. We need to get these kids
back to school.Copy !req
427. You can't do that!
These are the PC Babies!Copy !req
428. Don't you know
how big they are?Copy !req
429. In just one day,
they protested a bar,Copy !req
430. stopped construction
of a problematic viaduct,Copy !req
431. and wrote a hit single
about cultural appropriation.Copy !req
432. They...Copy !req
433. did all that?Copy !req
434. Oh, my God.Copy !req
435. They had their
first protests...Copy !req
436. and we missed it.Copy !req
437. We missed everything because...
we were on our phones.Copy !req
438. I've always used the phone
as a way to dealCopy !req
439. with the stress
of having babiesCopy !req
440. nobody could
know the truth about,Copy !req
441. but it's only
made it worse.Copy !req
442. You know what we have
to do, right?Copy !req
443. Yeah...
I think so.Copy !req
444. All right,
everyone, listen up.Copy !req
445. The vice principal and I have
been discussing student health.Copy !req
446. And it's our firm belief
that what they need,Copy !req
447. and what we all need,
is less time on our phones.Copy !req
448. Yes, yes I know
it's an unpopular idea,Copy !req
449. but just hear me out,
please.Copy !req
450. Our phones are
the cause of stress,Copy !req
451. not the relief from it.Copy !req
452. We are banning phones
and Buddha Boxes from school,Copy !req
453. and we suggest you allCopy !req
454. strictly limit their use
at home, as well.Copy !req
455. I don't think anyone's
listening to you.Copy !req
456. Yeah.Copy !req
457. Nobody's listening.Copy !req
458. And nobody's
watching.Copy !req
459. I guess we could wait and ban
the boxes tomorrow?Copy !req
460. Eric, I just feel like you have
so much to offer the worldCopy !req
461. and it kills me that
you're so afraidCopy !req
462. to let your
inner you shine.Copy !req
463. That guy's such a douche.Copy !req
464. What was that — what was that
one show he was on?Copy !req
465. Maybe you — you wanna
text him that?Copy !req