1. Hey, where's
the school bus?Copy !req
2. We're gonna be late
for football practice.Copy !req
3. Hiya, Sparky.
- Who's that?Copy !req
4. That's my new dog Sparky.Copy !req
5. He followed me to the bus stop.Copy !req
6. Wow, cool!
- Good boy, Sparky.Copy !req
7. Who's my best buddy?Copy !req
8. Who's your boy?
Who's your buddy?Copy !req
9. Ugh.
You're making me sick, dude.Copy !req
10. He's part Doberman
and part wolf.Copy !req
11. He's the toughest dog
on the mountain.Copy !req
12. No way. Everybody knows
that SylvesterCopy !req
13. is the toughest dog
in South Park.Copy !req
14. He's not meaner
than Sparky!Copy !req
15. Oh, yeah?
Let's see.Copy !req
16. Hey, Sylvester!Copy !req
17. Sparky'll kick his ass!Copy !req
18. I'll put a dollar
on Sylvester.Copy !req
19. You're on, dude.Copy !req
20. That's it, Sparky,
kick his ass!Copy !req
21. Huh. He's doing
something to his ass.Copy !req
22. He's not kicking his ass,
but he's definitelyCopy !req
23. doing something
to his ass.Copy !req
24. Sparky, bad dog!Copy !req
25. What?
- Yeah, dude.Copy !req
26. I think your dog is gay.Copy !req
27. What do you mean?Copy !req
28. That dog is a gay homosexual.Copy !req
29. He's just confused.Copy !req
30. I think the other dog's
the one that's confused.Copy !req
31. Sick! Shut up, dude.Copy !req
32. Okay, children,
I know that you're allCopy !req
33. extremely excited
and nervous and anxiousCopy !req
34. about the homecoming game
against Middle Park.Copy !req
35. Who's Middle Park?
- What's homecoming?Copy !req
36. But just remember
what I taught youCopy !req
37. that football
is like making loveCopy !req
38. to a really beautiful woman.Copy !req
39. You can't always score,
but when you do,Copy !req
40. it makes all the trying
worthwhile.Copy !req
41. Now let's start practice.Copy !req
42. Uh, Mr. Chef, sir?Copy !req
43. Yes, Pip, what is it?Copy !req
44. I still don't
have a helmet.Copy !req
45. I know, Pip.Copy !req
46. The school can't afford helmetsCopy !req
47. for everybody.Copy !req
48. Yes, but couldn't we rotateCopy !req
49. who doesn't have a helmet
every week?Copy !req
50. Does it always
have to be me?Copy !req
51. Yes, Pip,
I'm afraid it does.Copy !req
52. Oh.
- Sorry, son.Copy !req
53. Now get your ass in there.Copy !req
54. Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut.Copy !req
55. Hut, hut, hut,
hut, hut, hut,Copy !req
56. hut, hut, hut.Copy !req
57. Hike the damn ball!Copy !req
58. Hey, how's practiceCopy !req
59. coming there, Chef?Copy !req
60. Huh? Oh, fine, fine.Copy !req
61. I don't have to
remind youCopy !req
62. just how important
this game isCopy !req
63. to us South Park alumni.Copy !req
64. Elementary school alumni?Copy !req
65. That's as far as
most of us got.Copy !req
66. You think we have a shot
at beating the spreadCopy !req
67. against Middle Park
this year?Copy !req
68. I don't know.
What—what's the spread?Copy !req
69. Middle park by 70 points.
- Hmm.Copy !req
70. Hey, I got it!
- I got it, I got it!Copy !req
71. I don't think
we have a chance.Copy !req
72. Nonsense, not with my nephew
a quarterback.Copy !req
73. Right, Stanley?Copy !req
74. Huh?Copy !req
75. Attaboy!
- Great pass, Stan!Copy !req
76. Come on, Ned,
we got to get our assesCopy !req
77. to the bookie!Copy !req
78. Okay, that was
a good practice, children.Copy !req
79. We'll see you here again
tomorrow.Copy !req
80. Hey, Stan, isn't
that your dog?Copy !req
81. Yeah, he must have followed
me to football practice.Copy !req
82. You see,
he is smart.Copy !req
83. Uh, my dog Rex
follows meCopy !req
84. to football practice
all the time.Copy !req
85. Yeah, but my dog
found his own way here.Copy !req
86. That makes him smarter
than your—Copy !req
87. Sparky, get down!Copy !req
88. Oh, my God,
what is he doing to my dog?Copy !req
89. There he goes again.Copy !req
90. Get down, Sparky, down!Copy !req
91. Stan forgot to mention
that his dogCopy !req
92. is a gay homosexual.Copy !req
93. Make him stop!Copy !req
94. I'm sure glad
my dog isn't gay!Copy !req
95. Yeah, maybe you should
name your dog Sparkette, Stan.Copy !req
96. Gay dog.Copy !req
97. And so you see,
Simon and SimonCopy !req
98. were not brothers in real life,Copy !req
99. only on television.Copy !req
100. Thank you
for that presentation, Eric,Copy !req
101. but the assignment
was on Asian cultures.Copy !req
102. You get a D-minus.Copy !req
103. Aw, damn it!Copy !req
104. Who should we call on
next, Mr. Hat?Copy !req
105. How about Stan, our little
South Park quarterback star?Copy !req
106. Oh, good idea.Copy !req
107. Okay, Stanley, you're next.Copy !req
108. Um, I'm not really prepared
either.Copy !req
109. Well, just make something up
like Eric did.Copy !req
110. Okay, um,Copy !req
111. Asian culture has...Copy !req
112. plagued our fragile Earth
for many years.Copy !req
113. We must end it—Copy !req
114. Excellent. A-minus!Copy !req
115. Hey!
- Wow, cool!Copy !req
116. Wait a minute!Copy !req
117. Why the hell does he getCopy !req
118. an A-minus?Copy !req
119. Eric, Stanley just mightCopy !req
120. lead our team to victoryCopy !req
121. against the Middle Park CowboysCopy !req
122. for the first time in decades.Copy !req
123. And we treat star athletes
betterCopy !req
124. because they're better people.Copy !req
125. That's not fair!Copy !req
126. Life isn't fair, kiddo.Copy !req
127. Get used to it.Copy !req
128. Stupid puppet.Copy !req
129. Don't forget your assignments
tonight, children.Copy !req
130. They're due tomorrow
for everybody but Stan.Copy !req
131. Mr. Garrison,
can I ask you a question?Copy !req
132. Of course, Stanley.
What is it?Copy !req
133. What's a homosexual?Copy !req
134. Oh, well, Stanley,Copy !req
135. I guess you came
to the right person.Copy !req
136. Sit down.Copy !req
137. Stanley, gay people...Copy !req
138. well, gay people are evil.Copy !req
139. Evil right down
to their cold, black hearts,Copy !req
140. which pump not blood
like yours and mine,Copy !req
141. but rather
a thick vomitus oilCopy !req
142. that oozes through
their rotten veinsCopy !req
143. and clots
in their pea-sized brains,Copy !req
144. which becomes the cause
of their Nazi-esque patternsCopy !req
145. of violent behavior.Copy !req
146. Do you understand?
- I guess.Copy !req
147. Good, I'm glad we could have
this little talk, Stanley.Copy !req
148. Now you go outside
and practice footballCopy !req
149. like a good
little heterosexual.Copy !req
150. You guys see me
block that defense today?Copy !req
151. I was kicking ass.Copy !req
152. You're gonna need to
kick more ass than thatCopy !req
153. to beat the Cowboys.Copy !req
154. Hey,
speaking of pounding ass,Copy !req
155. here comes Stan's
little homo dog!Copy !req
156. Shut up, dude!Copy !req
157. Sparky, where'd you get
that pink scarf?Copy !req
158. Man, that is the gayest dogCopy !req
159. I have ever seen.Copy !req
160. He just needs some training,Copy !req
161. that's all.Copy !req
162. Sit, Sparky.Copy !req
163. Good boy.
Now shake.Copy !req
164. Good boy.
Now don't be gay!Copy !req
165. Don't be gay, Spark.Copy !req
166. Don't be gay.Copy !req
167. Did it work?
- I don't know.Copy !req
168. He still looks
pretty gay to me.Copy !req
169. Hey, Stan, your dog been
to any pride marches lately?Copy !req
170. Yeah, maybe you
should take himCopy !req
171. to a Barbra Streisand concert.Copy !req
172. Stupid little gay dog.
- Gay dog.Copy !req
173. Come on, you guys.
I have an idea.Copy !req
174. I want $500
on the South Park cows.Copy !req
175. Are you crazy?Copy !req
176. No, sirree, I'm telling you,Copy !req
177. I got the line.Copy !req
178. My nephew Stan is
the best quarterbackCopy !req
179. the school's ever seen.Copy !req
180. I guarantee
they'll beat the spread.Copy !req
181. I'm gonna put all my money
on the Cows.Copy !req
182. I'll put $300 on the Cows
too, if they guarantee...Copy !req
183. Hey, I want to put some money
on the cows too.Copy !req
184. Whoa, whoa!Copy !req
185. Don't get too carried away,
now.Copy !req
186. You better be right
about this, Jimbo.Copy !req
187. Yeah.Copy !req
188. Uh, don't—
don't worry yourself.Copy !req
189. Are you sure Stan
is that good?Copy !req
190. Well, not that sure.Copy !req
191. I think we better come up
with a backup plan.Copy !req
192. Uh, let's see here.Copy !req
193. Hey, bookie, what—Copy !req
194. what's the halftime show
gonna be?Copy !req
195. You haven't heard?Copy !req
196. John Stamos' older brother
Richard StamosCopy !req
197. is gonna sing
"Loving You".Copy !req
198. I love that song.Copy !req
199. "Loving you"?
That's perfect.Copy !req
200. Come on, Ned,
Middle Park's gonna getCopy !req
201. a halftime show
they'll never forget.Copy !req
202. Okay, Sparky,
we got you a present.Copy !req
203. Now why don't—damn it, Sparky,Copy !req
204. where do you keep
getting this thing?Copy !req
205. No pink bandana, Sparky.Copy !req
206. Bad dog!Copy !req
207. Now pay attention.Copy !req
208. Sparky, this is Fifi.Copy !req
209. Ooh la la!Copy !req
210. There he goes.Copy !req
211. Attaboy, Spark, get her!Copy !req
212. Yes!Copy !req
213. Ah, crap.
Now what do I do?Copy !req
214. Who cares if your dog is gay?Copy !req
215. Maybe it's not that bad.Copy !req
216. No way, dude, my mom saysCopy !req
217. God hates gay people.Copy !req
218. That's why he smote
the sodomies in France.Copy !req
219. I know, Mr. Garrison saidCopy !req
220. that homosexuals
are evil, but...Copy !req
221. but Sparky doesn't seem evil.Copy !req
222. Well, maybe Mr. Garrison
is wrong.Copy !req
223. You should ask
somebody else.Copy !req
224. Like who?Copy !req
225. And now back to
"Jesus and Pals"Copy !req
226. on South Park
public access.Copy !req
227. Yea, many of you
are seeking answers,Copy !req
228. and I am the way for you,
my children.Copy !req
229. Let's open the phone lines
back upCopy !req
230. for some questions.Copy !req
231. Hello, caller,
you're on the air.Copy !req
232. Yeah, is—is this Jesus?
- Yes, my son.Copy !req
233. This is Robert
from Torrey Pines.Copy !req
234. I called last week asking
for advice on my ex-wife.Copy !req
235. Of course, Robert.
How are things now?Copy !req
236. Everything is much
better, Jesus.Copy !req
237. She hasn't mouthed off since.Copy !req
238. I just wanted to thank you
for the advice.Copy !req
239. Oh, and for—
for dying for my sins too.Copy !req
240. That was really nice of you.Copy !req
241. Blessed art thou, Robert.Copy !req
242. Next caller,
you're on the air.Copy !req
243. Uh, hi, Jesus?Copy !req
244. I have a dog, and he's a—Copy !req
245. he's a homosexual.Copy !req
246. My son,
a lot of people have wonderedCopy !req
247. what my stance
on homosexuality is,Copy !req
248. so I'd like to state
once and for allCopy !req
249. my true opinion.
You see...Copy !req
250. That's all the time we have
left for "Jesus and Pals."Copy !req
251. Now stay tuned for
"Marty's Movie Reviews."Copy !req
252. Damn it!
- What'd he say?Copy !req
253. I got cut off for
Marty's stupid movie reviews!Copy !req
254. Oh, "Marty's Movie Reviews"
are on? Kickass!Copy !req
255. Isn't there anybody
who can help me?Copy !req
256. Isn't there anybody
who cares?Copy !req
257. Come on, dude,
we have to get to practice.Copy !req
258. No, it's not okay.
I don't want a gay dog.Copy !req
259. I want a butch dog.
I want a Rin Tin Tin.Copy !req
260. Now, children,Copy !req
261. we've got to handle
the ball better.Copy !req
262. You've got to hold
your footballCopy !req
263. like you would hold
your lover.Copy !req
264. Gently, yet firmly.Copy !req
265. You want to be both nurturingCopy !req
266. and clinging
at the same time.Copy !req
267. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
268. Chef!
- Oh, uh, sorry, children.Copy !req
269. Uh, let's run some plays.Copy !req
270. Ah, Mr. Chef, sir?Copy !req
271. No, Pip, we still don't
have a helmet for you.Copy !req
272. Righto, but how about
I'll use a helmet today,Copy !req
273. and one of the other
children goes without.Copy !req
274. That wouldn't be very fair
to the other children,Copy !req
275. now, would it?Copy !req
276. Oh, I—I guess not.Copy !req
277. What we want
to do here, Carl,Copy !req
278. is put a trigger on that bomb
that makes it go offCopy !req
279. at a specific moment
during halftime.Copy !req
280. And what moment
would that be?Copy !req
281. Well, John Stamos'
older brotherCopy !req
282. is all set to sing "Loving you"
during halftime.Copy !req
283. We want that bomb to go off
when he hits that high F.Copy !req
284. What high F?Copy !req
285. You know...Copy !req
286. So you want the trigger
on the "doot'n doo"?Copy !req
287. No, damn it,
the "Ahh"!Copy !req
288. All right. Yeah, okay.Copy !req
289. What's the matter, Stan?Copy !req
290. You seem down.Copy !req
291. I just—I can't concentrateCopy !req
292. 'cause my dog is gay.Copy !req
293. Well, you know
what they say.Copy !req
294. You can't teach a gay dog
straight tricks.Copy !req
295. Oh, stop filling his headCopy !req
296. with that queer-loving
propaganda.Copy !req
297. Say what? You of all people
should be sympathetic.Copy !req
298. What do you mean?
- Well, you're gay, aren't you?Copy !req
299. What? What the hell
are you talking about?Copy !req
300. I am not gay!Copy !req
301. Well, you sure do
act like it!Copy !req
302. I just act that way
to get chicks, dumb-ass.Copy !req
303. What's the matter, dude?Copy !req
304. I don't know
where Sparky is.Copy !req
305. He usually follows me
to football practice.Copy !req
306. Maybe he went shopping
for some leather pants.Copy !req
307. Ow!Copy !req
308. Hello there,
little pup!Copy !req
309. I'm Big Gay Al.Copy !req
310. Have you been outcast?Copy !req
311. Well, then,
I'm so glad you foundCopy !req
312. my big gay
animal sanctuary.Copy !req
313. We're all big gay friends
here.Copy !req
314. Would you like
to live with us?Copy !req
315. Come on in,
little fellow.Copy !req
316. Nobody will ever oppress you
here.Copy !req
317. Have you guys seen Sparky?Copy !req
318. He still hasn't come back.Copy !req
319. Wow, it's been,
like, two days.Copy !req
320. I think he might have
run away.Copy !req
321. Did you check
the shopping mall—Copy !req
322. Ow!
- We'll help you look for himCopy !req
323. after the game, Stan.Copy !req
324. I'm not playing.
- You what?Copy !req
325. I'm not playing
in that stupid game.Copy !req
326. I have to
find my dog.Copy !req
327. Come on, Ned,
keep quiet.Copy !req
328. Okay.Copy !req
329. Hello there, Enrique.Copy !req
330. What are we
doing here?Copy !req
331. Well, Ned, we alwaysCopy !req
332. kidnap Middle Park's mascot.Copy !req
333. But this year, we're gonna
booby-trap it instead,Copy !req
334. and when John Stamos'
older brotherCopy !req
335. hits that high F
in "Loving You,"Copy !req
336. boom!Copy !req
337. No more Middle Park players.Copy !req
338. God damn, I love football!Copy !req
339. Sparky,
where are you?Copy !req
340. Where could he be?Copy !req
341. Hello, everyone,
this is Frank Hammond,Copy !req
342. South Park Public Radio,
AM 900.Copy !req
343. Welcome to tonight's matchupCopy !req
344. between
the Middle Park CowboysCopy !req
345. and the South Park Cows.Copy !req
346. Well, it looks like Chef,
the South Park Cows' coach,Copy !req
347. is a little nervous.Copy !req
348. This is probably becauseCopy !req
349. his star quarterbackCopy !req
350. has yet to show up.Copy !req
351. Oh, come on, Stan.Copy !req
352. Uh, Mr. Chef,
if Stanley doesn't show up,Copy !req
353. can I use his helmet?Copy !req
354. No, Pip, I'm sorry!Copy !req
355. Sparky!Copy !req
356. Sparky!Copy !req
357. Play ball!Copy !req
358. You're gonna have to
quarterback, Kyle.Copy !req
359. But I never practiced
quarterback.Copy !req
360. It's a little late
for that bullcrap now.Copy !req
361. Filling in for quarterbackCopy !req
362. is number 12,
Kyle "Broslovski."Copy !req
363. Hey, hey,
where's little Stanley?Copy !req
364. Yeah, why the hell is
that little Jewish kidCopy !req
365. playing quarterback?Copy !req
366. Ned, look.Copy !req
367. They've got Enrique
on their sidelines.Copy !req
368. And it looks like that bomb
is still attached.Copy !req
369. Yay.Copy !req
370. Hi, little fella,
how are you doing today?Copy !req
371. Fine, how are you?Copy !req
372. I'm super, thanks for asking.Copy !req
373. My gay dog ran away
and I was wonderingCopy !req
374. if maybe he came here.Copy !req
375. Well, let's see.
Come on in.Copy !req
376. Do you have lots
of gay dogs here?Copy !req
377. We have all sorts of
gay animals hereCopy !req
378. at Big Gay AI's.Copy !req
379. Over here we have a gay lion.Copy !req
380. Roar.Copy !req
381. And we have
gay water buffalo,Copy !req
382. gay hummingbirds.Copy !req
383. Here's a gaggle
of gay gooses!Copy !req
384. Hi, fellas,
it's so super to see you!Copy !req
385. Wow, it seems like the
animals here are really happy.Copy !req
386. Of course they are,
silly buns!Copy !req
387. It's the one place
where gay animalsCopy !req
388. can really
be themselves.Copy !req
389. Do you like to dance?Copy !req
390. Cartman,
you hike me the ball,Copy !req
391. then somebody run,
and I'll throw it or something.Copy !req
392. - Ready?
- Break.Copy !req
393. You guys are toast.Copy !req
394. Yeah, we're gonna pound
your heads in.Copy !req
395. We'll just see
about that!Copy !req
396. Set, set...Copy !req
397. Damn it, Cartman!Copy !req
398. What's the matter?
- Cartman farted!Copy !req
399. No, I didn't!
That was just my shoes.Copy !req
400. Come on, Kyle,Copy !req
401. we'll get a delay of game
penalty!Copy !req
402. No way, dude!
- Hike the ball!Copy !req
403. Oh, dude, weak.Copy !req
404. That's right,
you get back there.Copy !req
405. Hike!
- The ball is snapped.Copy !req
406. Middle Park blitzes.Copy !req
407. Fumble!
Middle Park gets the ball.Copy !req
408. They run it in
for a touchdown!Copy !req
409. The score is 7-0,
Middle Park,Copy !req
410. with 14:57 remaining
in the first quarter.Copy !req
411. Hells bells.Copy !req
412. I haven't seen
a beating like thatCopy !req
413. since Rodney King!Copy !req
414. Now, Frank,
that's not very PC.Copy !req
415. You're gonna get us
in trouble again.Copy !req
416. Right, right,
I—I got to watch that.Copy !req
417. If we lose our money
'cause of your nephew,Copy !req
418. we're gonna hang you
out to dry, Jimbo.Copy !req
419. Don't y'all worry.Copy !req
420. You just wait till halftime.Copy !req
421. Sparky!Copy !req
422. Hiya, Sparky, how's it going?Copy !req
423. I missed you, old pal.Copy !req
424. You really had me scared.Copy !req
425. Come on, let's go home.Copy !req
426. I can still make it
in time for the game.Copy !req
427. We can work on making you
not gay together.Copy !req
428. Sparky?Copy !req
429. Young man, it appearsCopy !req
430. you still don't understand.Copy !req
431. What don't I understand?Copy !req
432. Come this way.Copy !req
433. I have to show you something.Copy !req
434. With just over a minute to go
in the half,Copy !req
435. the score is
Middle Park Cowboys 52,Copy !req
436. South Park Cows, zero.Copy !req
437. Oh, my!
I haven't seen an EnglishmanCopy !req
438. take a blow like that
since Hugh Grant!Copy !req
439. Dude!
Now, that is not cool.Copy !req
440. Sorry, sorry.Copy !req
441. Okay, Stan, I think
you should get in lineCopy !req
442. for my big gay boat ride.Copy !req
443. Step aboard, Stanley.Copy !req
444. Hello, everyone,
and welcome aboardCopy !req
445. the big gay boat ride!Copy !req
446. On this adventure,Copy !req
447. we'll be seeing
the world of gaynessCopy !req
448. throughout time.Copy !req
449. And the South Park Cows
are set to receive.Copy !req
450. There's the kick.Copy !req
451. It's taken by number 23,
Kenny McCormick.Copy !req
452. He's at the 50,
the 40, the 30...Copy !req
453. The little running back
is down!Copy !req
454. I think he's...Copy !req
455. yes, he's been decapitated!Copy !req
456. Oh, my God,Copy !req
457. they killed Kenny!Copy !req
458. You bastards!Copy !req
459. That's got to hurt, Frank!Copy !req
460. Ouch-eroo!Copy !req
461. Hey, come on,Copy !req
462. that was roughing!Copy !req
463. At least let us
scrape him off the field!Copy !req
464. Looks like
the South Park CowsCopy !req
465. aren't even gonna beat
the 72-point spread,Copy !req
466. not by a long shot.Copy !req
467. You see, gayness has existedCopy !req
468. since the beginning of time,Copy !req
469. from the Egyptian pharaohs,Copy !req
470. to the shoguns of Japan.Copy !req
471. Uh-oh, look out,
it's the oppressors!Copy !req
472. Christians and Republicans
and Nazis, oh my!Copy !req
473. Oh! Oh, gosh, that was close.Copy !req
474. Okay, let's steer
our big gay boat out of hereCopy !req
475. and into a place where gays
are allowed to live freely.Copy !req
476. So what do you think, Stan?Copy !req
477. This kicks ass.Copy !req
478. I'm sorry I tried
to change you, Spark.Copy !req
479. I just didn't understand.Copy !req
480. Isn't this precious?Copy !req
481. And now here to sing
the touching songCopy !req
482. "Loving You"
is the one and only,Copy !req
483. John Stamos' brother!Copy !req
484. All right, Richard!Copy !req
485. What the hell?Copy !req
486. He didn't sing the high F!Copy !req
487. Richard Stamos
can't sing a high F.Copy !req
488. He always screws it up
like this.Copy !req
489. Ned, we are gonna
get our asses kicked!Copy !req
490. It's obvious where
all the talentCopy !req
491. in that family went!Copy !req
492. Thanks for everything,
Big Gay Al.Copy !req
493. No problem, kids.Copy !req
494. Are you sure
you don't want to stayCopy !req
495. for some toasted
cheese sandwiches?Copy !req
496. No thanks.
I've got to get backCopy !req
497. for the big football game.Copy !req
498. Come on, boy.Copy !req
499. Oh, Stan...Copy !req
500. when you get back to town,Copy !req
501. tell them about us,
will you?Copy !req
502. Tell them there are
gay animals hereCopy !req
503. who need homes,
desperately.Copy !req
504. I will, Big Gay Al.Copy !req
505. I will.Copy !req
506. Oh, my carrot cake.Copy !req
507. And these South Park Cows
are being absolutelyCopy !req
508. molested by Middle Park.Copy !req
509. I haven't seen so many
children molested since...Copy !req
510. I thought you said
beating the spreadCopy !req
511. was a sure thing, Jimbo!Copy !req
512. Yeah, we all put our
life savings in this game!Copy !req
513. You're a dead man,
Jimbo!Copy !req
514. Well, this should
just about wrap it up for—Copy !req
515. wait a minute, what's this?Copy !req
516. Yeah! Yoo-hoo!Copy !req
517. It's Stan, the South Park
star quarterback.Copy !req
518. Where the hell
have you been, Stan?Copy !req
519. I've been getting
my best friend back.Copy !req
520. Just get in there, boy.Copy !req
521. Give 'em hell, Stanley!Copy !req
522. Jesus... now, I haven't
asked you for much.Copy !req
523. But all we need is
one little score.Copy !req
524. Please,
please, Jesus.Copy !req
525. Leave me alone.Copy !req
526. Hike!
- Stan hikes the ball.Copy !req
527. He steps back to pass.Copy !req
528. Hey, Stan,
I'm open I think.Copy !req
529. And he throws it to Kyle,
the little Jewish kid.Copy !req
530. Oh, my!Copy !req
531. I haven't seen a Jew
run like thatCopy !req
532. since Poland, 1938!Copy !req
533. Dude!Copy !req
534. Touchdown!Copy !req
535. Yeah!
- Whoo!Copy !req
536. The clock runs out,
and the final score isCopy !req
537. Middle Park Cowboys 73,Copy !req
538. South Park Cows 6.Copy !req
539. South Park
beats the spread.Copy !req
540. Yeah! Yoo-hoo!Copy !req
541. Speech!Copy !req
542. Stan, what do you want
to tell the worldCopy !req
543. about this stunning
almost victory?Copy !req
544. Uh, it's really coolCopy !req
545. that we beat the spread
against the Cowboys.Copy !req
546. Yeah, all right!Copy !req
547. And maybe we can beat 'em
even more next year.Copy !req
548. Whoo!Copy !req
549. And it's okay to be gay.Copy !req
550. What?Copy !req
551. Being gay is just
part of natureCopy !req
552. and a beautiful thing.Copy !req
553. What the hell is
he talking about?Copy !req
554. Uh, Stanley, you arrived
very late in the game.Copy !req
555. Where were you
that whole time?Copy !req
556. I was with my new friend,
Big Gay Al.Copy !req
557. He showed me
his big gay animal sanctuaryCopy !req
558. and took me
on a big gay boat ride,Copy !req
559. where I learned all about
the wonders of gaiety.Copy !req
560. It's true.
I'll show you.Copy !req
561. But it was here.
It was all right here.Copy !req
562. There—there was
a techno dance club.Copy !req
563. Stan, you need to lay off
the cough syrup.Copy !req
564. All right?
Seriously.Copy !req
565. I'm worried
about you, man.Copy !req
566. Oliver!Copy !req
567. I thought you ran awayCopy !req
568. all those months ago.Copy !req
569. Sidney!Copy !req
570. Willie!Copy !req
571. Carlos!Copy !req
572. I want to thank you so muchCopy !req
573. for bringing everybody here.Copy !req
574. Oh, there you are, dude.
How's it going?Copy !req
575. I'm super,
thanks for asking.Copy !req
576. It looks like now
my work here is done.Copy !req
577. Good-bye, Stanley.
Peace be with you.Copy !req
578. Wow!Copy !req
579. You guys, you guys!
I can do it.Copy !req
580. Do what?Copy !req
581. No!Copy !req