1. Now you be careful, Eric.Copy !req
2. The woods can be
very dangerous.Copy !req
3. Okay, Mom.Copy !req
4. Ready to go hunting, Cartman?Copy !req
5. Yeah, my Uncle Jimbo says
we gotta get up there early.Copy !req
6. Right, Uncle Jimbo?Copy !req
7. That's right, Stanley.Copy !req
8. Animals are much easier
to shoot in the morning.Copy !req
9. Here, hon.Copy !req
10. I packed you Cheesy Poofs
and Happy Tarts.Copy !req
11. Don't worry, Miss Cartman,
we'll take care of him.Copy !req
12. I brought my old war buddy,
Ned, to keep things safe.Copy !req
13. Hello, Mrs. Cartman.
How are you today?Copy !req
14. - Be sure to use
lots of bug spray,Copy !req
15. and if you have
to poo-poo,Copy !req
16. don't wipe
with poison ivy.Copy !req
17. Dude, that's sick, Mom!Copy !req
18. And I know it can get scary
up in those woods,Copy !req
19. but just remember,
Mommy's not far away.Copy !req
20. Drive! Drive!Copy !req
21. You give your mommy
a kissy.Copy !req
22. Drive the car, damn it!
Drive!Copy !req
23. "Don't get scared up
in the mountains, Cartman."Copy !req
24. Shut up!
I'm not scared of nothing.Copy !req
25. Maybe your mom can give me
a kiss too, Cartman.Copy !req
26. Oh, oh!
That's disgusting.Copy !req
27. You piece of crap!
I'll kill you!Copy !req
28. That's the spirit, boys.Copy !req
29. Let's get that
testosterone flowing.Copy !req
30. Yeeh!Copy !req
31. Now, boys, boys, I need
to get serious for a minute.Copy !req
32. I want you to understand
a few basic rules of hunting,Copy !req
33. since this is your first time.Copy !req
34. First of all, don't
ever walk with your gunCopy !req
35. unless the safety's on.Copy !req
36. Second, don't shoot anything
that looks human.Copy !req
37. And third, never spill your
beer in the bullet chamber.Copy !req
38. Uh, Uncle Jimbo,
we don't drink beer.Copy !req
39. You what?Copy !req
40. Yeah, that's right,Copy !req
41. I don't think eight-year-old
kids drink beer.Copy !req
42. I like chocolate milk!Copy !req
43. Well, we'll be doing plenty
of drinking on this trip.Copy !req
44. After all,
hunter sober is like...Copy !req
45. Fishing... sober.Copy !req
46. It sure will be nice
to get out of the cityCopy !req
47. for a while,
away from civilization.Copy !req
48. Well, here we are.Copy !req
49. Okay, each of you young'uns
take a gun, a beer,Copy !req
50. and some smokes.Copy !req
51. Hey, I didn't get a gun.Copy !req
52. Sweet. This is like
the gun I used in 'Nam.Copy !req
53. You weren't in Vietnam,
Cartman.Copy !req
54. Were you stationed
in Da Nang?Copy !req
55. Cartman always
makes stuff up, Ned.Copy !req
56. You can't believe
anything he says.Copy !req
57. Hey, I'll blow
your freaking head off.Copy !req
58. Hey, look out, son.
That's dangerous.Copy !req
59. You're gonna spill your beer.Copy !req
60. My Uncle Jimbo
says that after thisCopy !req
61. he's gonna take me
hunting in Africa.Copy !req
62. Wow, that'll be cool.Copy !req
63. My mom says there's a lot
of black people in Africa.Copy !req
64. Boys, lookie there.Copy !req
65. That there is
a Rocky Mountain black bear.Copy !req
66. One of the few remaining
of its kind.Copy !req
67. Isn't it beautiful?Copy !req
68. My God,
it's coming right for us!Copy !req
69. Hey, it wasn't
coming right for us.Copy !req
70. It was just sitting there.
- Shh, not so loud.Copy !req
71. Now that there
is just a technicality.Copy !req
72. What do you mean?
- You see, boys,Copy !req
73. the Democrats have passed
a lot of lawsCopy !req
74. trying to stop us
from hunting.Copy !req
75. Democrats piss me off!Copy !req
76. They say we can't shoot
certain animals anymoreCopy !req
77. unless they're posing
an immediate threat.Copy !req
78. Therefore,
before we shoot something,Copy !req
79. we have to say,
"It's coming right for us."Copy !req
80. Wow, you're smart,
Uncle Jimbo.Copy !req
81. Jimbo, look.Copy !req
82. Oh, it's a deer.Copy !req
83. Looks like about
a 45-gauge, Ned.Copy !req
84. It's coming right for us!Copy !req
85. Kickass!Copy !req
86. Did you see that?Copy !req
87. I was imperiled by
that ferocious, charging buck.Copy !req
88. Rabbit, rabbit,
five o'clock.Copy !req
89. Let's move!
Move!Copy !req
90. Is this hunting?
- I guess so.Copy !req
91. Uh, dude, I'm starting
to have flashbacks.Copy !req
92. What?
- Stand forth, pull up flank.Copy !req
93. Look out for Charlies
up in the trees.Copy !req
94. This one's yours, Stan.Copy !req
95. It's coming right for us.
- It's coming right for us.Copy !req
96. Shoot it, Stan.
- I got your back, soldier.Copy !req
97. I can't.Copy !req
98. What the—
What's wrong with you?Copy !req
99. I don't wanna shoot
the bunny.Copy !req
100. What the hell
are you talking about,Copy !req
101. you don't wanna shoot
the bunny?Copy !req
102. You're babbling,
you're not making any sense.Copy !req
103. You're hysterical.
- I'm not hysterical.Copy !req
104. I just don't wanna
shoot the bunny.Copy !req
105. No nephew of mine
is gonna be a tree-hugger.Copy !req
106. Yeah, hippie,
go back to WoodstockCopy !req
107. if you can't shoot anything.Copy !req
108. I can shoot you, fatass!
- I can shoot you, too!Copy !req
109. I'll kill you!
- I'll fill you full of lead!Copy !req
110. Hey, what's that?Copy !req
111. Hmm?Copy !req
112. What the heck is this?Copy !req
113. Yeah, Frank.
It's Randy.Copy !req
114. Uh-huh. Good.Copy !req
115. Yeah, listen,
the little needle is moving.Copy !req
116. Yeah, it's going
back and forth really fast.Copy !req
117. What does that mean?
Uh-huh?Copy !req
118. Uh-huh.
Let me check.Copy !req
119. Yeah, it's smoking.
Uh-huh.Copy !req
120. Oh, really?
Really?Copy !req
121. Oh, my God, a volcano.Copy !req
122. My weenies won't cook.Copy !req
123. This wood won't burn.Copy !req
124. Well, Ned, looks like
we'll have to useCopy !req
125. the old Indian fire trick.Copy !req
126. Yep.Copy !req
127. Hey, stop, drop
and roll, Ned.Copy !req
128. Whoa!Copy !req
129. God damn it, Ned.
I just got that van.Copy !req
130. How the hell are we
supposed to get home?Copy !req
131. Oh, it hurts, it hurts!Copy !req
132. Hey, you guys.Copy !req
133. This works pretty good
right now.Copy !req
134. But you see, Mr. Mayor,Copy !req
135. you can't stop serving
Salisbury steakCopy !req
136. in our public schools.Copy !req
137. What's next, meatloaf?Copy !req
138. We are quite aware
of your concerns, Chef, but—Copy !req
139. Mayor, the geologist
is here to see you.Copy !req
140. My geologist? Now?Copy !req
141. Tell him
the infection is fineCopy !req
142. and I don't need
another checkup.Copy !req
143. No, Mayor, that's
a gynecologist.Copy !req
144. A geologist studies
the earth.Copy !req
145. Don't you think I know that?Copy !req
146. How dare you insult
my intellect.Copy !req
147. I went to Princeton
for God's sake.Copy !req
148. You get out of my office.Copy !req
149. I'm not in
your office, Mayor.Copy !req
150. I'm talking to you
through a speaker.Copy !req
151. Just send in the geometrist.
- Geologist.Copy !req
152. You are fired, buddy!Copy !req
153. Thank you, Mayor. It's
been great working for you.Copy !req
154. Mayor, we've got
a very big problem.Copy !req
155. Mount Evanson
is about to erupt.Copy !req
156. What does this mean
to the town?Copy !req
157. Well, this graph shows
everything from normal to bad.Copy !req
158. Right now,
South Park is here.Copy !req
159. My God.Copy !req
160. Mayor, some of
the school childrenCopy !req
161. are up camping
on that mountain right now.Copy !req
162. Oh, this is big.Copy !req
163. Johnson, Johnson,
are you there?Copy !req
164. Uh, you just fired
Johnson, Mayor.Copy !req
165. I'm his replacement, Ted.Copy !req
166. Ted, we have got
a major crisis here.Copy !req
167. I want you to get
on the phone and callCopy !req
168. "Inside Edition,"
"Rescue 911,"Copy !req
169. oh, and
"Entertainment Tonight."Copy !req
170. You better get
my stylist on the phone, too.Copy !req
171. Don't worry.
Things are under control.Copy !req
172. And then Ned picked
up the grenade and—boom!--Copy !req
173. blasted his arm clear off.Copy !req
174. We spent three hours
looking for that damn arm,Copy !req
175. but it was never
to be found.Copy !req
176. Some say it's still
crawling around to this day.Copy !req
177. Ha, gotcha!Copy !req
178. Heh, that's not scary.Copy !req
179. You were scared, Cartman.
You almost peed your pants.Copy !req
180. Shut up!
I didn't pee my pants.Copy !req
181. Hey, Ned, hand me that gin.Copy !req
182. You boys want to tie one on?Copy !req
183. No, no thanks.
That stuff tastes like pee.Copy !req
184. Yeah, Cartman's pee.
- Hey, you would taste my pee.Copy !req
185. What the hell
is wrong with you?Copy !req
186. Can't you have
a little alcohol?Copy !req
187. Christ, look at that
little bastard go!Copy !req
188. Now you see that, Stan?Copy !req
189. Now that is
a dirty little bastard.Copy !req
190. Hey, I'm a dirty
little bastard, too.Copy !req
191. Hey, you guys,
I know a scary story.Copy !req
192. Shut up, Cartman.
You can't scare anybody.Copy !req
193. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
194. You guys ever heard
of Scuzzlebutt?Copy !req
195. What-lebutt?Copy !req
196. Scuzzlebutt is a creatureCopy !req
197. that lives up
on this very mountainCopy !req
198. and kills anybody
who dares climb to the top.Copy !req
199. Why?Copy !req
200. Because it loves
the taste of bloodCopy !req
201. and likes to add pieces
to its deformed body.Copy !req
202. Deformed how?Copy !req
203. Well, on his left armCopy !req
204. instead of a hand,
he has...Copy !req
205. A hook.
- A knife.Copy !req
206. No, a piece of celery.
- Celery?Copy !req
207. Yes, and he walks
with a limp,Copy !req
208. because one of
his legs is missing.Copy !req
209. And where his leg should be,Copy !req
210. there's nothing but...
Patrick Duffy.Copy !req
211. Patrick Duffy?Copy !req
212. Damn it, Cartman,
that's not scary.Copy !req
213. What do you mean? Have you
ever seen "Step by Step?"Copy !req
214. So he lives alone
on this mountainCopy !req
215. and weaves baskets
and other assorted crafts.Copy !req
216. They say
that on quiet nightsCopy !req
217. you can hear him weaving
his baskets.Copy !req
218. Ka-shink, ka-shink, ka-shink.Copy !req
219. Cartman, you suck
at telling scary stories.Copy !req
220. Yeah, give me
that flashlight.Copy !req
221. What's that?
- Maybe it's ScuzzlebuttCopy !req
222. coming to weave us
into wicker baskets.Copy !req
223. Hey, it might be.Copy !req
224. Gosh, I hope he doesn't
cut me with his celery hand.Copy !req
225. Screw you guys!Copy !req
226. Fatass!
- Go to hell!Copy !req
227. Hey, Ned, why don't you whip
out the old cancer kazoo.Copy !req
228. Let's do a little song.Copy !req
229. They don't think
Scuzzlebutt is scary, huh?Copy !req
230. Let's see how
they like itCopy !req
231. when they actually
see Scuzzlebutt.Copy !req
232. I'll scare the hell
out of them tomorrow.Copy !req
233. Stan, Stan, wake up.Copy !req
234. What, dude?Copy !req
235. I don't know
where Cartman is.Copy !req
236. I think something
took him away.Copy !req
237. Where's my Uncle Jimbo
and Ned?Copy !req
238. They're out fishing
with Kenny.Copy !req
239. With Kenny? But this is
supposed to be my camping trip.Copy !req
240. Why do they like
Kenny so much?Copy !req
241. Doesn't he like me anymore?Copy !req
242. Well, Stan, you want
to know what I think?Copy !req
243. What?Copy !req
244. What a beautiful morning
for fishing.Copy !req
245. There's one.
There's a fish right there.Copy !req
246. Got it.Copy !req
247. Great instincts, boy.Copy !req
248. Uncle Jimbo,
Cartman's missing.Copy !req
249. Who?
The fat kid?Copy !req
250. Yeah.
- Ah, hell.Copy !req
251. I guess we better
go look for him.Copy !req
252. Ned, you gotta
cut it short.Copy !req
253. Fire out the 12-20.Copy !req
254. Well, I think
that's about the limitCopy !req
255. for our fishing permit.Copy !req
256. Oh, man, it smells
like dead fish.Copy !req
257. Oh, man, that is nasty.Copy !req
258. Yeah, I don't think
I've ever seen a kidCopy !req
259. as cool as you, Kenny.Copy !req
260. I'm making you
my honorary nephew.Copy !req
261. The people of South Park
are humble and friendly,Copy !req
262. but now a ticking
time bomb of hot lavaCopy !req
263. waits to engulf these people
and end their miserable livesCopy !req
264. with one last fleeting momentCopy !req
265. of excruciatingly painful,
burning agony.Copy !req
266. Hey, I'm on TV!
I'm on TV!Copy !req
267. Mayor,
what are you doingCopy !req
268. to prepare for this
inevitable catastrophe?Copy !req
269. All we know right now
is that some of our childrenCopy !req
270. are camping on that mountain
and—uh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
271. Can I start over?
- Huh?Copy !req
272. - You can edit this, right?
Ready? Three, two, one.Copy !req
273. All we know right nowCopy !req
274. is that some of our childrenCopy !req
275. are up camping
on that mountain.Copy !req
276. We can't do anything
until we get them.Copy !req
277. Okay, people,
let's go get those kids!Copy !req
278. Come on, everybody.
You gotta help the children.Copy !req
279. Well, he couldn't
have gone far.Copy !req
280. Unless something drug him off.Copy !req
281. There's not many animals
out today, Jimbo.Copy !req
282. Yeah, it's almost like
something funny's going on.Copy !req
283. Christ, Ned, what'd
you have for breakfast?Copy !req
284. I don't know, man.
I've got some bad gas.Copy !req
285. Wait, there's a ram.Copy !req
286. It's coming right for us!Copy !req
287. Nice shooting, Kenny!Copy !req
288. Here, you need a bigger gun.Copy !req
289. Look!
- I am Scuzzlebutt,Copy !req
290. Lord of the mountains.Copy !req
291. Behold my Patrick Duffy leg.Copy !req
292. What is it?Copy !req
293. Dude, it's Scuzzlebutt!
Cartman wasn't lying.Copy !req
294. Holy crow! We could make
a mint killing this thing.Copy !req
295. We'll be on the cover
of "Guns & Ammo."Copy !req
296. This calls for some HJ-14.Copy !req
297. Those guys
are totally scared.Copy !req
298. Fire in the hole!Copy !req
299. Holy crap!Copy !req
300. Damn it,
I think I missed.Copy !req
301. What the hell
is wrong with you people?Copy !req
302. Come on, let's move!
Move!Copy !req
303. Wait, wait, ahhh!Copy !req
304. Is it on?
Okay.Copy !req
305. Okay, people, form groups
and search the mountain.Copy !req
306. Report back here every hour.
You got that?Copy !req
307. Mayor, I might have an idea.
- Oh, what?Copy !req
308. Well, if we can dig
a very large trench,Copy !req
309. we can divert the lava
into a canyon,Copy !req
310. and then it would bypass South
Park pretty much completely.Copy !req
311. And that would be good,
right?Copy !req
312. I'm pretty sure.Copy !req
313. Well, what are we
waiting for?Copy !req
314. Okay, people,
change of plans.Copy !req
315. Half of you grabs shovels.Copy !req
316. These look like his tracks.
He must have gone this way.Copy !req
317. Ned, prepare some HK-12
and some Plasticine.Copy !req
318. I'll bet that sucker is headed
for a higher elevation.Copy !req
319. The higher up it—bird!Copy !req
320. The higher up it goes,
the better it can breathe.Copy !req
321. Look, up there!Copy !req
322. You guys, it's just me.Copy !req
323. Are we sure
it's Scuzzlebutt?Copy !req
324. Does it have
Patrick Duffy for a leg?Copy !req
325. I can't tell.
Let's kill it.Copy !req
326. Got to get out
of this stupid costume.Copy !req
327. Kenny, you take the front.Copy !req
328. No, I can do it,
Uncle Jimbo.Copy !req
329. I want to bag that animal.Copy !req
330. That's the spirit, kiddo.
Let's hunt!Copy !req
331. You guys, you guys,
I was just kidding!Copy !req
332. - As some people of South ParkCopy !req
333. try desperately
to save their mountain town,Copy !req
334. others look
for the missing townspeople.Copy !req
335. But all must take
every precaution necessary.Copy !req
336. Okay, people, listen up.Copy !req
337. As we near the top
of the mountain,Copy !req
338. the chances of our encountering
some lava becomes great.Copy !req
339. Therefore,
I have special orderedCopy !req
340. this training film
to assist usCopy !req
341. in volcano safety.Copy !req
342. Mr. Garrison,
if you would, please.Copy !req
343. Harbingers of sorrow,
natural disasters can beCopy !req
344. the cause of troubling
and undesirable stress,Copy !req
345. and a volcano is no exception.Copy !req
346. But what should you do
if a volcano erupts near youCopy !req
347. or your family?Copy !req
348. Here, we see
the Stephens FamilyCopy !req
349. enjoying—Sunday picnic.Copy !req
350. But suddenly,
daughter hears a noise.Copy !req
351. It's a volcano.
Junior seems worried.Copy !req
352. But have no fear, Junior.Copy !req
353. Jane learned in school
what to doCopy !req
354. when you hear
a volcano erupt.Copy !req
355. That's right, Jane,
duck and cover.Copy !req
356. So what will—do when you
hear a volcano erupting?Copy !req
357. That's right,
duck and cover.Copy !req
358. Looks like you got the idea.Copy !req
359. Duck and cover.Copy !req
360. Thank you and good-bye.Copy !req
361. Okay, any questions?Copy !req
362. That has got to be
the most ridiculousCopy !req
363. load of pig crap
I have ever seen.Copy !req
364. That's enough out of you!Copy !req
365. I'm gonna bag Scuzzlebutt,Copy !req
366. then we'll see
who's a little bastard.Copy !req
367. Hey, seriously, you guys!Copy !req
368. Kill it, Stan.
Kill it.Copy !req
369. Come on, Stan, kill it!Copy !req
370. Oh, damn it,
I can't do it!Copy !req
371. You pansy!
Give me that gun.Copy !req
372. Hey!
- Cartman?Copy !req
373. God damn it,
don't shoot me!Copy !req
374. What the Sam Hill?Copy !req
375. I was just trying
to scare you guys.Copy !req
376. You can put
the gun down now.Copy !req
377. So much for the cover
of "Guns & Ammo."Copy !req
378. Yepper,
but I think we've learnedCopy !req
379. some important lessons, Ned. I think—Copy !req
380. Whoa!Copy !req
381. Holy crap.Copy !req
382. The mountain,
it's blown its top!Copy !req
383. Oh, my God,
they killed Kenny!Copy !req
384. No, I'm okay.Copy !req
385. Look, the volcano.Copy !req
386. Quick, duck and cover!Copy !req
387. That lava is coming
right for us.Copy !req
388. Oh, no, look.Copy !req
389. What the hell is this
trench doing here?Copy !req
390. We can't get across!Copy !req
391. It now looks
as if the missing childrenCopy !req
392. are trapped in the path
of hot, nasty lava.Copy !req
393. God, please deliver
those darling kids from—Copy !req
394. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Three, two and one.Copy !req
395. God, please deliver—Copy !req
396. Help!Copy !req
397. Jiminy, it's the real
Scuzzlebutt!Copy !req
398. What?
Scuzzlebutt's real?Copy !req
399. Oh, my God!
Look at his leg!Copy !req
400. Hi, kids,
I'm TV's Patrick Duffy.Copy !req
401. - Quick, Ned, shoot it!Copy !req
402. Oh, no, out of ammo.Copy !req
403. What is that thing?Copy !req
404. That's Scuzzlebutt.Copy !req
405. Yeah, he has Patrick Duffy
for a leg and weaves baskets.Copy !req
406. This isn't happening.
Everyone look away, please.Copy !req
407. Nothing to see here.Copy !req
408. Well, boys, I'm sorry
I got you all killed.Copy !req
409. Ahhh!Copy !req
410. Whoa, he built
a wicker basket.Copy !req
411. Hey, he's saving us.Copy !req
412. Scuzzlebutt
saved the day.Copy !req
413. And my calculations worked.Copy !req
414. The lava's following
the trench into the canyon.Copy !req
415. Hmm, where exactly
does the canyon go?Copy !req
416. - Uh...Copy !req
417. South Park is saved.Copy !req
418. Hey, look, Kenny's okay.Copy !req
419. - And now these humble people
can rejoice and celebrateCopy !req
420. their jovial victory
over nature.Copy !req
421. I'm getting word that the chef
of the school cafeteriaCopy !req
422. wants to sing a song about this
thrilling struggle of humanity.Copy !req
423. Mayor, what do you
have to sayCopy !req
424. about this
wonderful outcome?Copy !req
425. Well, we owe everythingCopy !req
426. to this friendly,
yet misunderstood creature.Copy !req
427. Thank you, Scuzzlebutt.Copy !req
428. Friend.Copy !req
429. Oh, how sweet.Copy !req
430. I did it, I did it!
I finally killed something.Copy !req
431. Oh, my God,
what has he done?Copy !req
432. Turn off the cameras.Copy !req
433. Hey, that was easy.Copy !req
434. No!Copy !req
435. Why, God?
Why?Copy !req
436. Damn it, Stan.
You shouldn't have done that.Copy !req
437. What, why?Copy !req
438. Yeah, make up
your mind, dude.Copy !req
439. Stan, some things you kill
and some things you don't. See?Copy !req
440. No.Copy !req
441. Only now,
in this late hour,Copy !req
442. do I see the folly of guns.Copy !req
443. I'll never use a gun again.Copy !req
444. But I just wanted you
to be proud of me,Copy !req
445. like you were with Kenny.Copy !req
446. But Kenny's dead now, Stan.Copy !req
447. And you're always gonna
be my nephew.Copy !req
448. And you just
can't kill anything.Copy !req
449. You understand?Copy !req
450. Dude, I don't
understand hunting at all.Copy !req
451. Yeah, it's stupid.
Let's go watch cartoons.Copy !req
452. Yeah, cartoons kick ass.Copy !req