1. I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time
Copy !req
2. Friendly faces everywhere
Copy !req
3. Humble folks
without temptation
Copy !req
4. Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind
Copy !req
5. Ample parking day or night
Copy !req
6. People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!"
Copy !req
7. Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind
Copy !req
8. Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Copy !req
9. Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine
Copy !req
10. Morning, Randy.
Copy !req
11. Morning, Ger.
Copy !req
12. Just another day
in paradise, huh?
Copy !req
13. Yeah, look at all these
new restaurants
Copy !req
14. the Whole Foods
has brought in.
Copy !req
15. Let's try out
that one there.
Copy !req
16. Hi.
Two of us, please.
Copy !req
17. Yeah, sorry, guys.
We got about a 30-minute wait.
Copy !req
18. Oh, uh, excuse me.
Copy !req
19. Yes, sir. Give me a second.
I'll have a table right away.
Copy !req
20. Whoa.
What'd you say to him?
Copy !req
21. I just told him who I am.
Copy !req
22. Who are you?
Copy !req
23. I'm a Yelp reviewer.
Copy !req
24. I usually keep it
on the down-low
Copy !req
25. so they don't kiss my ass
too much.
Copy !req
26. Right over here, sir.
Copy !req
27. All right, guys,
welcome to Vernacular.
Copy !req
28. Thanks. Uh, did they mention
to you that I am a Yelper?
Copy !req
29. Yes,
we've been alerted, sir.
Copy !req
30. Great.
Copy !req
31. Could you have them turn
the lights up a little, please?
Copy !req
32. Oh, look at it, Gerald...
all the new families moving in.
Copy !req
33. Our little town
is all grown up.
Copy !req
34. Where's that other taco plate?
We need it now!
Copy !req
35. I'm a little overwhelmed.
Copy !req
36. I know,
but we put everything
Copy !req
37. into moving here
and starting this business,
Copy !req
38. and we have to be impressive.
Copy !req
39. David, you must help your mama
however you can.
Copy !req
40. We're not going back
to that miserable place.
Copy !req
41. I don't want to go back,
either.
Copy !req
42. - Okay, done.
- Great!
Copy !req
43. We really have to impress
this customer.
Copy !req
44. He's a local food critic.
Copy !req
45. Another one?
Copy !req
46. Mmm. Hmm.
Copy !req
47. Okay,
here you go, amigo...
Copy !req
48. another taco plate
and the taquitos.
Copy !req
49. Oh, thank you.
Copy !req
50. And did I mention I am
a food critic for Yelp?
Copy !req
51. Yes, you mentioned that
several times.
Copy !req
52. Okay, I just didn't want you
caught off guard.
Copy !req
53. I was thinking of giving
this place five stars.
Copy !req
54. Really?
Copy !req
55. Yeah, but I'm kind of teetering
on five stars or one star.
Copy !req
56. Oh, no, no.
No one star, please.
Copy !req
57. What can we do to...
Copy !req
58. I mean, I could probably
be persuaded
Copy !req
59. with some free desserts.
Copy !req
60. Let me get that for you.
Copy !req
61. Great. And could you turn down
the music a bit?
Copy !req
62. This pagan shit
hurts my ears.
Copy !req
63. Of course.
Copy !req
64. Oh, hey. Hey, busboy.
Copy !req
65. Busboy! Busboy!
Por favor!
Copy !req
66. - Busboy!
- My name is David.
Copy !req
67. Excuse me?
Copy !req
68. I said my name is David.
Copy !req
69. Uh, it's actually pronounced
"Day-vid," okay?
Copy !req
70. Well, I'm "Da-veed."
Copy !req
71. It's David, dude.
Look it up.
Copy !req
72. What's going on?
Copy !req
73. Do not argue, son.
We need him.
Copy !req
74. There you are...
a few free desserts.
Copy !req
75. Oh, excuse me. More customers.
Copy !req
76. Hi.
Two of us for lunch, please.
Copy !req
77. Yes.
Right away.
Copy !req
78. Oh, and, uh,
I just wanted to mention
Copy !req
79. that my wife and I
are Yelp reviewers,
Copy !req
80. so, uh,
your best table, please.
Copy !req
81. Oh, geez.
You guys, too, huh?
Copy !req
82. Okay, um, I'll get you set up
right over here, okay?
Copy !req
83. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
84. Hmm.
This place seems nice.
Copy !req
85. I guess we'll see.
Copy !req
86. I guess we'll see,
won't we?
Copy !req
87. Oh, God. Now everyone thinks
they're a food critic.
Copy !req
88. Did you get them?
Did you get them?
Copy !req
89. - Did you get them? Huh?
- Here you go.
Copy !req
90. Whoa.
Copy !req
91. Crispy risotto bites
from Olive Garden.
Copy !req
92. How do you do it, Eric?
Copy !req
93. I'm a restaurant critic,
Butters.
Copy !req
94. I get whatever I want.
Copy !req
95. Geez!
Copy !req
96. So the cafeteria's
back that way,
Copy !req
97. and most of the classrooms
are this way down the...
Copy !req
98. Ew! What's the busboy
doing here?
Copy !req
99. David is new
to our school.
Copy !req
100. Oh, cool.
Copy !req
101. Are you gonna clean
the tables here, too?
Copy !req
102. How do you get to school?
Do you ride your tiny bicicleta?
Copy !req
103. - Huh?
- Shut up.
Copy !req
104. Look, amigo, I'm sorry
Copy !req
105. I only gave your parents'
restaurant two stars,
Copy !req
106. but it could've been worse.
Copy !req
107. Why'd you only give them
two stars?
Copy !req
108. I'm sorry, but the food
totally messed my stomach up.
Copy !req
109. The morning after I ate it,
I went to the bathroom,
Copy !req
110. and my poop was all solid...
like, no water at all.
Copy !req
111. It's not supposed
to have water, you...
Copy !req
112. It was like
this one, solid piece
Copy !req
113. that I had to push
out my asshole.
Copy !req
114. It was like being raped
from the inside.
Copy !req
115. Your parents' restaurant
Copy !req
116. just wasn't up to my standards,
"Day-vid."
Copy !req
117. - "Da-veed."
- "Day-vid."
Copy !req
118. "Da-veed."
Copy !req
119. - "Day-vid."
- "Da-veed."
Copy !req
120. "Day-vid,"Day-vid,"
"Day-vid,"Day-vid"!
Copy !req
121. I can update this to a one-star
review in two seconds, dude.
Copy !req
122. Oh, God, I love being
a restaurant critic.
Copy !req
123. And yet there was more.
Copy !req
124. For in this crisp time
when autumn begins to fade,
Copy !req
125. the chef brines chicken
in habanero
Copy !req
126. and even adds habanero powder
to the crust.
Copy !req
127. But the heat is restrained.
Copy !req
128. You experience the fruity,
delicious flavor of this
Copy !req
129. without any spicy pain.
Copy !req
130. I don't need any more pain.
Copy !req
131. Hell, does anyone?
Copy !req
132. Gerald,
we're going to the park.
Copy !req
133. - You want to come along?
- Sorry, honey.
Copy !req
134. This review for Applebee's
has turned into a 50-pager.
Copy !req
135. Then I have a polish
on Ruby Tuesday's.
Copy !req
136. Why don't you take a break
from Yelping, Gerald?
Copy !req
137. You seem
a little overwhelmed.
Copy !req
138. I am overwhelmed.
Copy !req
139. Sometimes I don't know
what I've gotten myself into.
Copy !req
140. But now everyone relies
on my Yelp reviews,
Copy !req
141. and I-I don't want
to let anyone down.
Copy !req
142. Well, there's chicken in
the fridge if you get hungry.
Copy !req
143. Thanks, but I-I got to Yelp
Copy !req
144. a new place
in Shi Tpa Town tonight.
Copy !req
145. God, I'm so damn tired.
Copy !req
146. Okay, have fun.
Copy !req
147. Ha.
"Fun," she says.
Copy !req
148. In finality, I would say
Copy !req
149. my experience at Applebee's
was sublime
Copy !req
150. and my treatment near that of
a gladiator most decorated.
Copy !req
151. But the street parking
wasn't that great.
Copy !req
152. Two-and-a-half stars.
Copy !req
153. Yes.
Copy !req
154. Come on, Liza.
Copy !req
155. I'll introduce you
to the girls.
Copy !req
156. Well, aren't you
eating lunch, Eric?
Copy !req
157. I am a food critic,
Butters, okay?
Copy !req
158. I can't just eat
cafeteria food.
Copy !req
159. Okay, here you are, sir!
Copy !req
160. There's
orange peel chicken,
Copy !req
161. some chitty beef,
and a chitty egg roll!
Copy !req
162. Are you joking?
Copy !req
163. Well,
you are a little late.
Copy !req
164. Like, I don't know,
maybe only-one-star late.
Copy !req
165. Oh, no.
No one star, please.
Copy !req
166. You Yelpers are killing me!
Copy !req
167. Okay, you no pay.
You no pay. Please.
Copy !req
168. Sounds good.
Now get the fuck out of here.
Copy !req
169. Yes, yes!
I'll get the fuck out!
Copy !req
170. Thank you!
Copy !req
171. Wow. Well, you're pretty
important, Eric.
Copy !req
172. He's not important at all.
Copy !req
173. Yeah, no.
Copy !req
174. No, no, you're right, Kyle.
I'm not important.
Copy !req
175. Oh, hey, David,
I was just wondering.
Copy !req
176. Um, how do you get
to school?
Copy !req
177. Do you ride
your tiny bicicleta? Eh?
Copy !req
178. - Stop it.
- What?
Copy !req
179. I just want to hear him say,
Copy !req
180. "Sí, me ride mi tiny bicicleta
to school."
Copy !req
181. Sí, me ride mi tiny
bicicleta to school.
Copy !req
182. That's awesome.
Copy !req
183. I'm gonna go out
to recess.
Copy !req
184. Will you bus this for me,
David? Thanks.
Copy !req
185. Ah, don't.
Dude... Dude, don't.
Copy !req
186. Sir, it's midnight.
Copy !req
187. Go home.
Get some sleep.
Copy !req
188. There's no time to sleep when
the city's counting on me.
Copy !req
189. More Yelp reviews, sir?
Copy !req
190. I had a bad experience
at Red Lobster,
Copy !req
191. and if the people don't
know about it, they could, too.
Copy !req
192. Folks deserve to know
where to eat, Mitch.
Copy !req
193. But does anyone
even thank you for it?
Copy !req
194. I don't need them to.
Copy !req
195. I know they need me,
and that's enough.
Copy !req
196. God bless you, sir.
Copy !req
197. I know.
Copy !req
198. Welcome
to Whistlin' Willy's.
Copy !req
199. Y'all enjoying
your pizza?
Copy !req
200. Look here,
my good man.
Copy !req
201. We've been waiting
over 15 minutes
Copy !req
202. for you to sing
"Happy Birthday" to our son.
Copy !req
203. Unfortunately for you,
Copy !req
204. we are both restaurant critics,
and so is our son.
Copy !req
205. One star!
Copy !req
206. Excuse me! Emergency!
Over here! Emergency!
Copy !req
207. I would like a table
inside the area
Copy !req
208. with all the little
plastic balls, please.
Copy !req
209. And make it snappy.
I am a food critic for Yelp.
Copy !req
210. That does it!
I've had enough!
Copy !req
211. All you Yelp reviewers
get the hell out of here!
Copy !req
212. I don't care what happens
to my business!
Copy !req
213. I ain't kissing your asses
no more!
Copy !req
214. Go on.
Copy !req
215. Every Yelper,
get the fuck out of here!
Copy !req
216. Careful now, Bill.
Copy !req
217. You don't want
a one-star review.
Copy !req
218. You're not a food critic,
Dennis!
Copy !req
219. You're a fucking mechanic!
Copy !req
220. Now get the fuck out!
Go on!
Copy !req
221. All you Yelping sons of bitches
get the fuck out of here!
Copy !req
222. You're gonna regret this,
Whistlin' Willy.
Copy !req
223. You can't treat Yelpers
this way.
Copy !req
224. You get the...
get the fuck out!
Copy !req
225. Ow!
Copy !req
226. Well, good for you.
Copy !req
227. - You, too, you son of a bitch.
- Whoa! Hey!
Copy !req
228. It's over! It's over!
Copy !req
229. You see paper?
It's over!
Copy !req
230. Whistlin' Willy!
He stand up to the Yelpers!
Copy !req
231. We don't have to kiss
their asses anymore!
Copy !req
232. Look!
Everybody doing the same!
Copy !req
233. It's over! It's over!
Hey, Skeeter, you hear the news?
Copy !req
234. It's a miracle.
Copy !req
235. It's a miracle!
Copy !req
236. What the fuck?
Copy !req
237. Uh, dude, somebody spilled shit
on the floor.
Copy !req
238. Hey, David,
somebody spilled something here.
Copy !req
239. Could you clean this up,
por favor?
Copy !req
240. David?
Copy !req
241. Over here.
There's some shit on the floor.
Copy !req
242. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
What's going on, man?
Copy !req
243. You haven't heard?
Copy !req
244. Nobody gives a fuck what
Yelp reviewers think anymore.
Copy !req
245. What are you talking about?
Copy !req
246. I'm the most influential critic
in this town.
Copy !req
247. Okay, David,
forget the spill.
Copy !req
248. Just give me one little,
"My name is David.
Copy !req
249. Me ride mi bicicleta
to school."
Copy !req
250. My name is "Da-veed."
Copy !req
251. Ha!
Copy !req
252. Okay, I'm...
I'm updating my review.
Copy !req
253. I'm about to do it.
Copy !req
254. You better say,
"I ride mi bicicleta to school!"
Copy !req
255. One star.
Copy !req
256. No... No stars?
Copy !req
257. No stars?
Copy !req
258. You can't just treat me
like I'm nothing.
Copy !req
259. I still know
I'm worth something.
Copy !req
260. Come on, guys.
Copy !req
261. Oh, yeah.
Y-You guys stay at school.
Copy !req
262. That's cool.
Y-You guys stay here.
Copy !req
263. Oh, hey, Eric.
Copy !req
264. It's all over, Butters.
Copy !req
265. Everything I've worked
so hard to achieve.
Copy !req
266. All these
hack, wannabe food critics
Copy !req
267. have made my profession
a joke.
Copy !req
268. Aw, I'm sorry, bud.
Copy !req
269. All these people
trying to be like me.
Copy !req
270. And they don't even write about
poop consistency the next day.
Copy !req
271. Well, Eric, you should be proud
that people want to be like you.
Copy !req
272. I mean, you really
started something.
Copy !req
273. I guess.
Copy !req
274. Well, if these people
look up to you,
Copy !req
275. maybe... maybe you can sort of
set the record straight
Copy !req
276. and show them the way
it's supposed to be done.
Copy !req
277. You're right, Butters.
Copy !req
278. Maybe I can actually use
all these people somehow
Copy !req
279. to make real food critics
respected again.
Copy !req
280. Harrison Yates,
what's gotten into you?
Copy !req
281. That's it, Maggie.
I'm hanging it up.
Copy !req
282. If people are gonna be trying
all the new restaurants in town,
Copy !req
283. they'll have to do it
without my reviews.
Copy !req
284. What are you
talking about?
Copy !req
285. You said that protecting people
from bad dining experiences
Copy !req
286. was what kept you going.
Copy !req
287. The restaurants put up signs
saying I can't come in.
Copy !req
288. I don't know why
they singled me out,
Copy !req
289. but it's like people
don't need me.
Copy !req
290. Well, I'll be damned.
Copy !req
291. What is it?
Copy !req
292. Somebody's put a note
in the mailbox
Copy !req
293. asking me to come
and talk to them.
Copy !req
294. They do need me.
Copy !req
295. I need to get going.
Copy !req
296. You want me
to come along?
Copy !req
297. No. They're just
asking for me.
Copy !req
298. I guess maybe I do have
a town to protect.
Copy !req
299. Oh, are you having
a party, sweetheart?
Copy !req
300. Not a party, Mom.
Copy !req
301. I've invited all
the poseur food critics
Copy !req
302. over for a meeting.
Copy !req
303. Oh, how fun.
Copy !req
304. It's not fun.
It's serious.
Copy !req
305. These people think
they can do what I do,
Copy !req
306. but they need to be made
to understand the reality.
Copy !req
307. When the Yelpers get here,
I need you to get lost, okay?
Copy !req
308. Okay, that's them, that's them.
Go! Get lost, Mom!
Copy !req
309. Hello! Hi!
Copy !req
310. I'm here for the meeting.
Copy !req
311. Is this
the right place?
Copy !req
312. Fu-u-ck.
Copy !req
313. Mom!
Copy !req
314. I'm going, honey.
Copy !req
315. Mom, there's like
a billion people here!
Copy !req
316. Oh, yes, sweetie.
Copy !req
317. I think quite a few people
are Yelp reviewers.
Copy !req
318. Oh, this many people
have nothing better to do
Copy !req
319. than write reviews on Yelp?
Copy !req
320. I guess so, honey.
Do you need more lemonade?
Copy !req
321. Mom, there's a fucking
billion people here!
Copy !req
322. Uh, thank you all for coming.
Copy !req
323. My name is Eric,
and as you know,
Copy !req
324. us Yelpers are being
scrutinized.
Copy !req
325. Can't you
speak a little louder?
Copy !req
326. Yes, us Yelp critics
are being scrutinized!
Copy !req
327. - That's right!
- Yeah!
Copy !req
328. Now, you see the problem is that
when there's too many reviewers,
Copy !req
329. people no longer know
who is the real food critic.
Copy !req
330. It's great that you all
want to be critics,
Copy !req
331. but we all know who the real
food analyst of the town is.
Copy !req
332. - That's right!
- That's right!
Copy !req
333. Yeah!
Copy !req
334. Oh! Oh, thanks.
Copy !req
335. Okay, so, as long as there is
one clear leader,
Copy !req
336. then the rest of you
can just follow.
Copy !req
337. And with this many people
all following one captain,
Copy !req
338. we can fight to get
our power back!
Copy !req
339. Power back!
Copy !req
340. So now rise up,
and fight for your leader!
Copy !req
341. Fight together,
Copy !req
342. and show the restaurants that
our food critic does matter!
Copy !req
343. Yeah, let's go!
Copy !req
344. All right, follow me!
Copy !req
345. This way, everyone!
Copy !req
346. Another local business
is closing its doors tonight
Copy !req
347. after being taken down
by Yelp reviewers.
Copy !req
348. Whistlin' Willy's,
a child favorite in town,
Copy !req
349. was destroyed and its owner
stripped and beheaded.
Copy !req
350. The following video is graphic.
Copy !req
351. No, please!
No, no, no, no, no!
Copy !req
352. Aww!
Copy !req
353. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-bad
Copy !req
354. I'm bad to the bone
Copy !req
355. We all /oved
Whistlin' Willy's.
Copy !req
356. It didn't do well with Yelpers.
Copy !req
357. You assholes destroyed
the best place in town
Copy !req
358. because they wouldn't
kiss your asses!
Copy !req
359. Oh, come on, admit it...
The food sucked.
Copy !req
360. Nobody went for
the fucking food!
Copy !req
361. Look, I'm sorry guys,
Copy !req
362. but Whistlin' Willy failed
to recognize the influence
Copy !req
363. someone like me
has on their business.
Copy !req
364. Now I just have one question
for you, David.
Copy !req
365. Do you ride
Copy !req
366. your teeny, tiny bicicleta
to school?
Copy !req
367. Sí. Me ride mi teeny
bicicleta to school.
Copy !req
368. You're done.
Copy !req
369. Yeah, I'm done!
Copy !req
370. I'm now the leader
of thousands of people!
Copy !req
371. They all hang
on my every word.
Copy !req
372. And I'm gonna use my power
to finally get
Copy !req
373. what this town really needs.
Copy !req
374. I found the waitstaff
at Red Lobster to be rude
Copy !req
375. and barely even acknowledging
who I was
Copy !req
376. or what I meant to this city.
Copy !req
377. Gerald, I'm taking Ike
to clown school.
Copy !req
378. You care to join us?
Copy !req
379. I can't, honey.
Copy !req
380. I'm now the leader
of thousands of people.
Copy !req
381. They all hang on my every word.
Copy !req
382. And I'm going to use my power
Copy !req
383. to finally get what this town
really needs.
Copy !req
384. For the fifth day in a row,
Copy !req
385. historic Shi Tpa Town is
under siege by Yelp reviewers.
Copy !req
386. The restaurants are still
refusing to be intimidated,
Copy !req
387. and the Yelp reviewers are...
Copy !req
388. and the Yelp reviewers
are preparing for all-out war.
Copy !req
389. The angry Yelp reviewers
are demanding special treatment
Copy !req
390. at all city restaurants.
Copy !req
391. They claim that
as local food critics,
Copy !req
392. they deserve respect and that
all who oppose them will suffer.
Copy !req
393. The online restaurant critics
are getting ready
Copy !req
394. to bring businesses
to their knees,
Copy !req
395. and some are already
closing their doors.
Copy !req
396. One local restaurant worker
actually called out
Copy !req
397. the Yelp critics' leader.
Copy !req
398. I guess you win, huh, big shot?
Copy !req
399. If you really are
any kind of important anybody,
Copy !req
400. then get your bullshit
food-critic ass
Copy !req
401. to the south of town
and face me,
Copy !req
402. because you aren't
a food critic,
Copy !req
403. and you aren't important!
Copy !req
404. And unless you're a chicken,
I'll see you south of town.
Copy !req
405. Where you going, sir?
Copy !req
406. You heard him.
Copy !req
407. Little Mexican kid
called me out.
Copy !req
408. He wants to fight me,
that's fine.
Copy !req
409. You need backup, sir?
Copy !req
410. No. He's just
calling me out.
Copy !req
411. - God bless you, sir.
- I know!
Copy !req
412. David! Dude, wait!
Copy !req
413. Dude, you don't
want to do this.
Copy !req
414. You don't know what
Cartman's capable of.
Copy !req
415. Where I come from, we settle
things with our fists.
Copy !req
416. But this isn't Mexico.
Copy !req
417. I'm not from Mexico,
dude!
Copy !req
418. I'm from Idaho!
Copy !req
419. I'm gonna show this prick
how we do things in Boise.
Copy !req
420. Oh, hello, David!
Copy !req
421. All right,
you've got your army.
Copy !req
422. You've got your followers.
Copy !req
423. If you're such
a great leader,
Copy !req
424. then just tell the city
what you want, fat-ass!
Copy !req
425. Don't call me fat, son.
Copy !req
426. I'm doing this because...
Copy !req
427. What I want is to be able
to lead these fine people
Copy !req
428. with the respect
and the dignity...
Copy !req
429. I didn't ask to be the leader.
I was appointed!
Copy !req
430. You see, I'm extremely important
to this town, and I'm not...
Copy !req
431. My journey
as this town's food...
Copy !req
432. You've made these people
feel unwanted,
Copy !req
433. and now they look to me
for answers.
Copy !req
434. Now here I stand,
vulnerable, afraid,
Copy !req
435. and yet willing to do
what the people of this...
Copy !req
436. And so we said
to hell with it!
Copy !req
437. And we took the challenge to
go from the town's food critics
Copy !req
438. to the town's
spiritual leaders.
Copy !req
439. What do we want?
Copy !req
440. People would say,
"Oh, you're just a food blogger.
Copy !req
441. You're just a tiny voice
in the crowd."
Copy !req
442. Well, now my voice is heard,
and I will...
Copy !req
443. wanted special privileges,
Copy !req
444. but these people think
I should have them.
Copy !req
445. Right, guys?
Copy !req
446. Maybe I don't deserve
special treatment,
Copy !req
447. but how else can I be
the elite food critic they want?
Copy !req
448. Every person here thinks
this is about them.
Copy !req
449. I think I know
what to do.
Copy !req
450. Yeah. Me, too.
Copy !req
451. And for all your service
to this community,
Copy !req
452. we want to once and for all
declare you
Copy !req
453. our most elite food critic.
Copy !req
454. To distinguish you, we present
to you the golden badge.
Copy !req
455. Wearing this badge means
you will always get
Copy !req
456. the special treatment
that you deserve.
Copy !req
457. Thank you, Mayor.
Copy !req
458. It's a big responsibility,
but I suppose I have to accept.
Copy !req
459. I will do my best
to serve this town.
Copy !req
460. We know you will.
Copy !req
461. Okay, bring in the next one.
Copy !req
462. Mr. Davis, you have
proven yourself a leader.
Copy !req
463. And for all your service
to this community,
Copy !req
464. we want to once and for all
declare you
Copy !req
465. our most elite food critic.
Copy !req
466. To distinguish you,
we present the golden badge.
Copy !req
467. Wow!
Copy !req
468. Wearing this badge
means you will always get
Copy !req
469. the special treatment
you deserve.
Copy !req
470. All right, we got
all the restaurants
Copy !req
471. to agree to let the Yelpers in
and make them feel special.
Copy !req
472. How did you do it, son?
Copy !req
473. Ah, yes.
The steak, please.
Copy !req
474. I'm the, uh, Yelp elite.
Copy !req
475. All right, we got a Yelper.
Give it that special attention.
Copy !req
476. You got it!
Copy !req
477. So you're one of Yelper's
special blessed
Copy !req
478. You demand a restaurant's
very best
Copy !req
479. Well, they're gonna
treat you special
Copy !req
480. I'm telling you, chum
Copy !req
481. Now get yourself ready
for some boogers and cum!
Copy !req
482. Boogers and cum!
Copy !req
483. That's called
a Yelper special!
Copy !req
484. Boogers and cum!
Copy !req
485. Say, what's that
on your pretzel?
Copy !req
486. Your online critiques
are real useful to some
Copy !req
487. Now have a good time
eating boogers and cum!
Copy !req
488. Boogers and cum!
Copy !req
489. Someone farted on your salad
Copy !req
490. Boogers and cum!
Copy !req
491. But your decor critiques
are valid
Copy !req
492. You think you're special,
like you're "A" number one
Copy !req
493. Well, there's a whole lot of
special in boogers and cum!
Copy !req
494. Boogers and cum!
Copy !req
495. How about some feces
with your flounder?
Copy !req
496. Boogers and cum!
Copy !req
497. You like that queefy
quarter-pounder?
Copy !req
498. What's that spice that feels
tangy on my tongue?
Copy !req
499. Oh, that's
a yuzu pepper...
Copy !req
500. along with
some boogers and cum.
Copy !req
501. Here you are, sir.
Copy !req
502. Thank you, David.
That's good service.
Copy !req
503. I will bring you food
every day, my friend.
Copy !req
504. Mmm, is that
a jalapeño cream sauce?
Copy !req
505. Yes. My father made it
just for you.
Copy !req
506. Mmm.
It's tart, but savory.
Copy !req
507. Boogers and cum!
Copy !req
508. Bein' a food critic's easy!
Copy !req
509. Boogers and cum!
Copy !req
510. Oh, you feeling
a little queasy?
Copy !req
511. Do you need a diagnosis?
Well, the doctor's got one
Copy !req
512. Your stomach seems to be
filled with boogers and cum.
Copy !req
513. Boogers and cum!
Copy !req
514. Piss in your potatoes!
Copy !req
515. Boogers and cum!
Copy !req
516. Some guy shit
on your tomatoes
Copy !req
517. All right, fancy food critic,
looks like you've won
Copy !req
518. Now please enjoy all the
Copy !req
519. Bo-o-o-o-gers
Copy !req
520. And cu-u-u-u-u-u-m!
Copy !req
521. Boogers and cum!
Copy !req