1. Okay, okay, okay.Copy !req
2. So this guy is running
for president,Copy !req
3. and he hates immigrants,
and he's basically an idiot.Copy !req
4. Not surprisingly,Copy !req
5. this guy is from
a predominantly white townCopy !req
6. called South Park, Colorado.Copy !req
7. Or Shitheads of America,
Incorporated.Copy !req
8. I'm not sure.Copy !req
9. Yeah, if this guy's the best
their town has to offer,Copy !req
10. can you imagine
who he left behind?Copy !req
11. Well, hey,
I'm from South Park!Copy !req
12. We don't take kindlyCopy !req
13. to respecting human beings!Copy !req
14. Y-You think
South Park has a university?Copy !req
15. Welcome toCopy !req
16. South Park University.Copy !req
17. Please open your shotguns
and slap your wives.Copy !req
18. I live in South Park,
and my IQ's so low,Copy !req
19. I gots to dig for it.Copy !req
20. Did someone say rape?Copy !req
21. That's the word for "clever"
here in South Park.Copy !req
22. That's not funny.Copy !req
23. So not cool.Copy !req
24. How does someone just
rip on us like that?Copy !req
25. I can't believe
Jimmy Fallon hates us.Copy !req
26. Jimmy Fallon loves everything.Copy !req
27. Why would he slam
our whole town?Copy !req
28. Because, apparently,
he doesn't care that his jokesCopy !req
29. are at the expense
of actual people.Copy !req
30. Do you think
it's true?Copy !req
31. Do you think we're really
bigoted country bumpkins?Copy !req
32. No, hey,
we are not bumpkins, okay?Copy !req
33. Kenny's a bumpkin.Copy !req
34. Mrph rmh rm!Copy !req
35. We don't have junked cars
in our yards.Copy !req
36. That's just your family,
Kenny.Copy !req
37. I just hope somebody
finds a way to fix this.Copy !req
38. I've called you all here because
South Park has an image problem.Copy !req
39. Thanks to Mr. Garrison,Copy !req
40. we are now being referred to as
"the shitheads of America."Copy !req
41. One of our more politically
sensitive citizensCopy !req
42. has proposed an idea
for this crisis,Copy !req
43. and I'd like you
to hear him out.Copy !req
44. Hello, everyone,
I'm Randy Marsh,Copy !req
45. and I've been P.C.
for almost two weeks now.Copy !req
46. You know
we've all been making changesCopy !req
47. to be more socially conscious,
but have we really done enough?Copy !req
48. The truth is there's something
we're lacking as a community,Copy !req
49. and it's time we all faced it.Copy !req
50. What this town needs
is a Whole Foods.Copy !req
51. - What?
- What?Copy !req
52. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Whole Foods?Copy !req
53. It would instantly validate
us as a townCopy !req
54. that cares about stuff!Copy !req
55. We couldn't get a Whole Foods
to open here!Copy !req
56. And why not?
Huh?Copy !req
57. We all just don't believe
we could get a Whole FoodsCopy !req
58. because we don't believe
in ourselves!Copy !req
59. Where could it even go?Copy !req
60. Mayor?Copy !req
61. I'm announcing a plan
for SodoSopa,Copy !req
62. a new urban developmentCopy !req
63. that will turn the most rundown
and dilapidated part of our townCopy !req
64. into a quaint center
of artisan shops and cafés.Copy !req
65. Lots of cities
are doing this.Copy !req
66. The area south
of downtown South ParkCopy !req
67. has always been the ugly eyesore
of this town.Copy !req
68. But now SodoSopa is going to
bring in the fresh, new vibrancyCopy !req
69. that Whole Foods
can't ignore.Copy !req
70. We'll keep
the existing structuresCopy !req
71. but add brick walkways
and some quaint white lights.Copy !req
72. A plaza in the middleCopy !req
73. will be a place
where young couplesCopy !req
74. can play with their toddlers.Copy !req
75. And it will all be
small businessesCopy !req
76. like artisan cheese shops
or noodle houses.Copy !req
77. Oh, this is
really exciting.Copy !req
78. I thought this area was just
gonna stay shitty forever.Copy !req
79. Mrph rmh rmhmhm rm!Copy !req
80. Who is?Copy !req
81. So you think you keep all
the existing structures?Copy !req
82. I do. It's part of what
gives a revitalized areaCopy !req
83. like this its charm
that the hipsters like.Copy !req
84. Hey, what are
you people doing?Copy !req
85. We're gentrifying.
It's all good.Copy !req
86. Okay, hold on.
Everyone, listen up.Copy !req
87. We understand that not everyone
is for the townCopy !req
88. spending money
on the SodoSopa project.Copy !req
89. We want everyone to be able
to voice their concerns.Copy !req
90. Yeah, I got concerns!Copy !req
91. I don't want you touching
my damn house!Copy !req
92. We realize that when
a rejuvenation like thisCopy !req
93. takes place, the lower-income
residents fearCopy !req
94. they'll be priced out
of the area.Copy !req
95. What lower-income residents?Copy !req
96. Me? I work hard and provide
for my family just fine!Copy !req
97. Stewart, come on.
Your house sucks.Copy !req
98. Fuck you!Copy !req
99. If you people want to
turn something intoCopy !req
100. a vibrant arts district,
then do it to Randy's house.Copy !req
101. My house is nice.Copy !req
102. Mr. McCormick,
you will be living inCopy !req
103. the most vibrant part
of the entire town.Copy !req
104. SodoSopa is the future
of South Park.Copy !req
105. There'll be amazing food
and incredible shopsCopy !req
106. right at your doorstep.Copy !req
107. And we want to assure
the lower-income familiesCopy !req
108. that we are going to take
the time to do this right.Copy !req
109. All right, guys.
Welcome to Steed.Copy !req
110. Do we have any allergies?Copy !req
111. No, nothing.
And we want to try everything!Copy !req
112. Wow.
Can you believe this place?Copy !req
113. Yeah.
The food is unbelievable.Copy !req
114. It's like a dream come true,
Nelson.Copy !req
115. This area is gonna
put our town on the map.Copy !req
116. I don't know what happen
all my customers.Copy !req
117. I use to have people
come in here, fill every table.Copy !req
118. Now it's like nobody
want anything to doCopy !req
119. with my authentic chitty food.Copy !req
120. This town is changing
so fast, you know?Copy !req
121. This town changing so fast.Copy !req
122. Everybody want to be P.C.,
be updated.Copy !req
123. It's like I'm a relic —Copy !req
124. a rost relic from another time,
you know?Copy !req
125. I don't know. Sometime I feel
like I outstayed my welcome.Copy !req
126. That's just how I feel,
you know?Copy !req
127. Uh-huh.Copy !req
128. It's like my accent make people
uncomfortable or something.Copy !req
129. How a Chinese man supposed
to survive in this world?Copy !req
130. Oh, welcome to Chitty Wok.
Can I take your order, please?Copy !req
131. Hey, Mike,
what you doing, man?Copy !req
132. The guys are all meeting
down at SodoSopa.Copy !req
133. At what?Copy !req
134. They've totally revitalized
this area south of downtown.Copy !req
135. - You got to check it out.
- Oh, sweet, dude.Copy !req
136. SodoSopa?Copy !req
137. What the hell is a SodoSopa?Copy !req
138. What the fuck?Copy !req
139. Mommy,
can we go eat outside?Copy !req
140. No, we can't go
eat outside.Copy !req
141. But, Mommy,
they have ice cream.Copy !req
142. We can't afford
$10 ice cream, all right?Copy !req
143. If you want nice things,
then go out and get a job!Copy !req
144. Except you won't make moneyCopy !req
145. because you just bust your ass
and then barely get byCopy !req
146. while everyone around you
gets richer!Copy !req
147. Just face it.Copy !req
148. Things are never gonna change
around here.Copy !req
149. - What's he gonna say?
- Maybe they won't even answer.Copy !req
150. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh!Copy !req
151. Hi. Um, yes.Copy !req
152. My name is Randy Marsh,
and, um, we would like toCopy !req
153. try and get a Whole Foods
in our town.Copy !req
154. Yes, that's right.Copy !req
155. Uh, yes.Copy !req
156. It's, uh, South Park, Colorado.Copy !req
157. No, no, no, no, no!
No, no, no, no, no!Copy !req
158. No, no, no, no, no!
No, no, no, no, no!Copy !req
159. It's not at all what you think!
It —Copy !req
160. Yes, it's where the presidential
candidate is from.Copy !req
161. No, no, no, no, no!
No, no, no, no, no!Copy !req
162. Hold on, hold on, hold on!
SodoSopa, SodoSopa!Copy !req
163. We have a SodoSopa!Copy !req
164. The town is completely
different! SodoSopa!Copy !req
165. We have an arts
and entertainment district.Copy !req
166. Cultural.Copy !req
167. Yes. Okay.Copy !req
168. Okay.
Yes, I-l understand.Copy !req
169. Thank you.Copy !req
170. They said they maybe might
send over a representative.Copy !req
171. There's a certain quality
to the vibe and energyCopy !req
172. that is SodoSopa,Copy !req
173. from the independent merchants
and unique cafesCopy !req
174. to the rustic charm
of a mixed-income crowd.Copy !req
175. Where else can you let loose
your wild sideCopy !req
176. while still being a part
of helping the local economy?Copy !req
177. And now a chance to own a pieceCopy !req
178. of this most exciting area
of South Park.Copy !req
179. Announcing The Lofts
at SodoSopa.Copy !req
180. 2,000-square-foot flatsCopy !req
181. that put you right in the heart
of it all.Copy !req
182. After a night out eating
and shopping in SodoSopa,Copy !req
183. just take a few steps,
and you're home.Copy !req
184. With modern styling,
these lofts are sleek,Copy !req
185. sexy, and oh so SodoSopa.Copy !req
186. And for those
very privileged few,Copy !req
187. the most private and exclusive
ownership opportunity is here.Copy !req
188. Announcing The Residences
at The Lofts at SodoSopa.Copy !req
189. Now you can have access
to luxury refinedCopy !req
190. while still just steps away
from the action.Copy !req
191. These finely appointed
residences all featureCopy !req
192. state-of-the-art finishesCopy !req
193. and balconies with views
of historic Kenny's house.Copy !req
194. It's a place to laugh.Copy !req
195. It's a place to gather.Copy !req
196. A place to mingle with people
of all economic classes.Copy !req
197. And now it's a place to live.Copy !req
198. SodoSopa. Welcome home.Copy !req
199. And we are
going to take business backCopy !req
200. from SodoSopa!Copy !req
201. Oh, hello.
You here for job?Copy !req
202. Please join the others,
please.Copy !req
203. Some say I cannot survive
in today's world.Copy !req
204. But if there's one asset
that the Chinese man has,Copy !req
205. it's a-tactical use
of child labor.Copy !req
206. And together, child labor force,Copy !req
207. we are going to bring SodoSopa
to its knees.Copy !req
208. This is it, people.Copy !req
209. This is what we've all
been working for.Copy !req
210. The future of our town
depends on usCopy !req
211. being on our best behavior.Copy !req
212. No swearing, no weirdness,
and no speeches!Copy !req
213. He's coming!Copy !req
214. Go, go!
Everyone in place!Copy !req
215. Hello, sir.Copy !req
216. On behalf of everyone here
in South Park,Copy !req
217. please let me say
we are very excitedCopy !req
218. to be in consideration —Copy !req
219. Everyone,
please go about your business.Copy !req
220. I need to see this town
in its normal goings-onCopy !req
221. to see if it is indeed
a Whole Foods town.Copy !req
222. Okay. Looking good,
child labor force!Copy !req
223. We gonna make Chitty Wok
updated and beautiful!Copy !req
224. Let's go,
child labor force! Let's go!Copy !req
225. No, no, Dennis. You don't use
too much cleaner on the table.Copy !req
226. That stuff expensive.
Now, listen, everybody!Copy !req
227. This is a big day.Copy !req
228. We gonna take the business back
from SodoSopa!Copy !req
229. And how we gonna do it,
child labor force?Copy !req
230. That's right —
By taking pride in our work!Copy !req
231. With the way this place
is looking,Copy !req
232. we gonna have people rushing in
any second!Copy !req
233. Okay, everyone go about
your business.Copy !req
234. Oh, here they come!Copy !req
235. Everyone act normal!
No, don't act normal, act good!Copy !req
236. There they go.Copy !req
237. Wait, wait!Copy !req
238. Chitty Wok!
Take-a order, please!Copy !req
239. Take-a...Copy !req
240. Take-a order, please?Copy !req
241. The previous principal
of the school was let goCopy !req
242. so that someone more progressive
could take over.Copy !req
243. Hey, bro. I'm the new principal
of the school.Copy !req
244. My name's P.C. Principal.Copy !req
245. P.C. Principal.
I like that.Copy !req
246. So you've just
recently moved here?Copy !req
247. That's right.Copy !req
248. And do you believe this town
is deserving of a Whole Foods?Copy !req
249. You know, I think
it's changed a lot.Copy !req
250. I really do.
I've seen some real progress.Copy !req
251. Definitely had some holdouts,Copy !req
252. people that went kicking
and screaming into 2015,Copy !req
253. but, yes, I think
they deserve it.Copy !req
254. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
255. Show me a classroom,
please.Copy !req
256. But if Pluto isn't a planet,
who can tell me what it is?Copy !req
257. Oh, hello.Copy !req
258. This is our new
fourth-grade teacher.Copy !req
259. She's very normal
and professional.Copy !req
260. Please continue as if
I am not here.Copy !req
261. Okay, so, uh, children,Copy !req
262. anyone want to tell me
what Pluto is classified as?Copy !req
263. Anybody?Copy !req
264. Okay.Copy !req
265. Well, Pluto is actually
a dwarf planet.Copy !req
266. That means it's neither a planet
nor a natural satellite.Copy !req
267. Is there a reasonCopy !req
268. the children with disabilities
and black childCopy !req
269. are front and center?Copy !req
270. Oh, no, that's just where
they always sit.Copy !req
271. Next to our beloved Craig there,
who is a homosexual.Copy !req
272. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
273. Uh, can — can I show you
the most exciting part of town?Copy !req
274. This is historic SodoSopa.Copy !req
275. It's our vibrant and charming
arts and foods district.Copy !req
276. Hmm.Copy !req
277. I enjoy how you've retained
the lower-income housingCopy !req
278. with the updated
and quaint urban developments.Copy !req
279. That's really
what our town is about.Copy !req
280. Oh, hello again!Copy !req
281. Steven and I were
just heading to SodoSopaCopy !req
282. to enjoy
some specialty foods.Copy !req
283. Hmm.Copy !req
284. I have seen enough
for today.Copy !req
285. I am weary.
Where shall I sleep?Copy !req
286. Oh, yes, of course.Copy !req
287. Uh...Copy !req
288. Uh, well, tonight,
you're at our Motel 6.Copy !req
289. But we'd like to show you
the plansCopy !req
290. for something
extremely exciting.Copy !req
291. You can't say "excitement"Copy !req
292. without saying "SodoSopa. "Copy !req
293. The food, the art,
the nightlife.Copy !req
294. With The Lofts and Residences
at SodoSopa,Copy !req
295. all the action
was just a few steps away.Copy !req
296. But what
if you could actually liveCopy !req
297. in the most central location
that SodoSopa has to offer?Copy !req
298. Well, now you can.Copy !req
299. Announcing
The Villas at Kenny's House,Copy !req
300. the most sought-after address
in all of South ParkCopy !req
301. for only
the very privileged few.Copy !req
302. Now you can relax in your
state-of-the-art deck spaCopy !req
303. while taking in views
of that mixed SodoSopa culture.Copy !req
304. Shut your damn mouth,
bitch!Copy !req
305. You shut your mouth,
or I'll shut —Copy !req
306. But that's not all.Copy !req
307. The Villas at Kenny's House
will also feature accessCopy !req
308. to a private fitness center,
clubhouse,Copy !req
309. and so much more,Copy !req
310. plus a breezeway
to the proposed Whole FoodsCopy !req
311. just steps away.Copy !req
312. The Villas at Kenny's House —Copy !req
313. Welcome home.Copy !req
314. Hey, that's okay,
we close.Copy !req
315. All the other child labor
go home.Copy !req
316. Mrph rmhmhm
rm mrph rmhmhm rm!Copy !req
317. I like you, Dennis.Copy !req
318. You work a-real hard.Copy !req
319. I wish I could give you more.
You deserve more.Copy !req
320. But I think
I'm gonna have to shut down.Copy !req
321. Now that SodoSopa open,
I'm the shitty part of town!Copy !req
322. And everyone hates
the shitty part of town.Copy !req
323. Mrph, mrph rmhmhm rm.Copy !req
324. Oh, what do you know
about livingCopy !req
325. in the shitty part of town,
Dennis?Copy !req
326. Mrph!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!Copy !req
327. - You have idea?
- Mrph rmhmhm rm!Copy !req
328. Oh-ho, that's the spirit!Copy !req
329. Let's go,
child labor!Copy !req
330. Let's go, child labor!Copy !req
331. So these are the cattle
that the local shopsCopy !req
332. and restaurants
are supplied with?Copy !req
333. Uh, these are local cows,
yes.Copy !req
334. And where does the butchery
take place?Copy !req
335. Uh, that's right
over there.Copy !req
336. And are the bullets made
from reclaimed metals?Copy !req
337. I believe they are.Copy !req
338. Rancher,
could you make sure?Copy !req
339. Randy! Steven!Copy !req
340. We've got a big problem!Copy !req
341. The owner of City WokCopy !req
342. has child labor
making videos for him!Copy !req
343. What?Copy !req
344. Oh, Jesus,
we forgot all about that guy!Copy !req
345. Shh!Copy !req
346. It's all over the place!Copy !req
347. He's trying to revitalize
his rundown neighborhood!Copy !req
348. Gah! Why do
the economically challengedCopy !req
349. always have to screw up
everything?Copy !req
350. We're gonna head back
to SodoSopaCopy !req
351. for some curious
fusion delights!Copy !req
352. Come on.
We'll get that asshole!Copy !req
353. There's a new
and exciting placeCopy !req
354. where people can gather to
shop, experience, and grow.Copy !req
355. This is an all-new
food-and-nightlife district.Copy !req
356. This is CtPa Town.Copy !req
357. Where else but CtPaTownCopy !req
358. can you get
all the chitty hotspotsCopy !req
359. and chitty food that South Park
is known for?Copy !req
360. In the mood
for some local seafood?Copy !req
361. Red Lobster
has all the freshestCopy !req
362. from Colorado's many oceans.Copy !req
363. Or if a handcrafted ale
is more your thing,Copy !req
364. head on down to Skeeter's BarCopy !req
365. for local ales
like Coors and Coors Light.Copy !req
366. And then of course,
there's Chitty Wok,Copy !req
367. South Park's
historic Asian fusion landmarkCopy !req
368. featuring chitty chicken
and chitty sour soup.Copy !req
369. The state-of-the-art toilet
is designed for men and womenCopy !req
370. and is a great place
for you to squeeze outCopy !req
371. all the chitty food
you've enjoyed.Copy !req
372. Now South Park
has another neighborhoodCopy !req
373. to mingle and relax.Copy !req
374. CtPaTown —Copy !req
375. Welcome home.Copy !req
376. Oh, boy!Copy !req
377. Get ready, child labor force!Copy !req
378. Any minute now, we gonna
have customers up our ass!Copy !req
379. - Get him!
- There he is!Copy !req
380. - That son a bitch!
- Get him!Copy !req
381. Stop him!Copy !req
382. Oh, boy, here they come!Copy !req
383. You were right, Dennis!Copy !req
384. CtPaTown commercial
did the trick!Copy !req
385. Get ready for customers,
child labor force!Copy !req
386. Welcome Chitty Wok!
Take your order pleeaaahhh!Copy !req
387. Mrph rmhmhm?Copy !req
388. All right, take these kids
and hide them in the —Copy !req
389. Mrph rmhmhm rm?
Mrph rmhmhm rm!Copy !req
390. Ow!
You little —Copy !req
391. Get him!Copy !req
392. Fight, child labor force!Copy !req
393. Flank to the left!Copy !req
394. Ahem!
Ahe-hem!Copy !req
395. I've never seen a town
put so much energyCopy !req
396. into displaying an exaggerated
sense of social consciousness.Copy !req
397. Congratulations.
You have your Whole Foods.Copy !req
398. Wait, wait!
Anybody want chitty chicken?Copy !req
399. Anybody?Copy !req
400. Take-a order, please?Copy !req
401. I'm sorry, Dennis.Copy !req
402. You really tried
to help.Copy !req
403. I guess it's over.Copy !req
404. Come on inside.Copy !req
405. I'll pay you the child labor
wage you deserve.Copy !req
406. Well,
did you make any money?Copy !req
407. Mrph, rmhmhm rm.Copy !req
408. Ha!Copy !req
409. That's how it works
in this damn country.Copy !req
410. What are you doing,
Kenny?Copy !req
411. Wow!Copy !req
412. This is mine?Copy !req
413. Mrph rmhmhm, rm.Copy !req
414. Hi!Copy !req
415. There's a time when a
town becomes more than it was,Copy !req
416. when the people
take that bold stepCopy !req
417. into making things better.Copy !req
418. To progress.Copy !req
419. To change.Copy !req
420. To not be what you were
in the past.Copy !req
421. This is a new place,Copy !req
422. ready for the next decade.Copy !req
423. Updated, revitalized,
and ready to fit inCopy !req
424. with the most progressive towns
in America.Copy !req
425. This is South Park.Copy !req
426. Welcome home.Copy !req
427. Are the Mexicans
actually staying?Copy !req
428. Shh.Copy !req