1. Previously on South Park...Copy !req
2. Soon we will be fighting the greatest
battle of our young hot lives...Copy !req
3. - Black Friday.
- Everyone who wants to get PS4s, join with us.Copy !req
4. Tom, the South Park mall
says they've beefed up security.Copy !req
5. You have a strong influence over
the rest of the men, lady mckormick.Copy !req
6. You can't die!Copy !req
7. We thought you should see this.Copy !req
8. What would they do
on Game of Thrones?Copy !req
9. What would they do
when things look their darkest?Copy !req
10. Sync & corrections by no1
www.Addic7ed.ComCopy !req
11. Now, let me tell you, child,
of a war that is about to come.Copy !req
12. Since time unremembered,
there have been two...Copy !req
13. One dark and unforgiving,Copy !req
14. the other pure
and filled with light.Copy !req
15. At the dawn of war,
I stand aloneCopy !req
16. looking out at what will be
the last battlefield,Copy !req
17. for winter is coming,
and I am a princess.Copy !req
18. Once a common lady
of the dark armyCopy !req
19. but denied my right to be called
princess by birth, I betrayed my kind.Copy !req
20. And now I have chosen my side, that
which I believe is best for all,Copy !req
21. for it has the dual shock controller
with a speaker and touch pad interface.Copy !req
22. Our land is split in two.Copy !req
23. Brother against brother.
Friend versus friend.Copy !req
24. My parents will fight on
Black Friday as well...Copy !req
25. For what, I do not know.Copy !req
26. What the hell is he wearing nowCopy !req
27. My followers, though few in
number, shall help see me throughCopy !req
28. until I am finally accepted
as a princess by all.Copy !req
29. I cannot rest, for I know that even
now the enemy is training for battle,Copy !req
30. also preparing for winter.Copy !req
31. All right. Stop, stop, stop!Copy !req
32. This is not how you fight.Copy !req
33. You think this is a jokeCopy !req
34. On Black Friday, there's going
to be thousands of shoppersCopy !req
35. trying to get inside that mall,
keeping you from getting xbox-1s.Copy !req
36. So what do we do We survey each
enemy, and we attack their weak spots.Copy !req
37. Scott malkinson has diabetes,
so we hit him in his weak spot.Copy !req
38. - Ah, god...
- There's another army out thereCopy !req
39. who thinks they're better
than us,Copy !req
40. and we are not going to be beat
by the traitor whore kenny.Copy !req
41. Get back to training!Copy !req
42. - Yeah!
- Ah!Copy !req
43. Cartman, we should probably
talk about our chances.Copy !req
44. The men are just
inexperienced, sir kyle.Copy !req
45. - They need more training.
- It's not enough.Copy !req
46. Ever since kenny switched sides,Copy !req
47. there are more kids that wanna
go with PS4 on Black Friday.Copy !req
48. - That goddamn traitor!
- You know why kenny'sCopy !req
49. doing this, right Because he wanted to
be a princess, and I wouldn't let him.Copy !req
50. I said, "you can be
a chick, kenny",Copy !req
51. but there's only one ruler,
and that's me!"Copy !req
52. Sony released the PS4s, cartman.Copy !req
53. They're being reviewed.
People are liking them.Copy !req
54. I guarantee you kenny
had something to do withCopy !req
55. sony offering
a Black Friday bundle deal.Copy !req
56. Just keep them in training,
sir kyle.Copy !req
57. Two can play at kenny's
back-stabbing game.Copy !req
58. Stupid asshole.Copy !req
59. Yes, hello, I'd like to speak to
the president of xbox, please.Copy !req
60. The president of xbox.
Like the head of xbox.Copy !req
61. Fine, ceo, microsoft, whatever,
put him on.Copy !req
62. I need help blowing up
playstation people.Copy !req
63. Eric cartman.
I'm a wizard and a king.Copy !req
64. A wizard king, yes.Copy !req
65. No, I'm not a king of wizards.Copy !req
66. I'm a king that happens
to be a wizard.Copy !req
67. Just put the ceo of microsoft
on the phone.Copy !req
68. Yes, hello. How are things
going out thereCopy !req
69. Sir, the tides of war
are changing.Copy !req
70. There's a king in colorado, a
young wizard who believes that sonyCopy !req
71. will have the upper hand
if we do not come to his aid.Copy !req
72. He claims that with our help,
his followers are preparedCopy !req
73. to fight to the death
over which system is better.Copy !req
74. Uh, what are you guys
talking aboutCopy !req
75. You sound ridiculous.Copy !req
76. There's going to be a war in
this small town on Black Friday,Copy !req
77. and it's all over the news.Copy !req
78. Guys, these are console wars, not
some epic battle for a kingdom.Copy !req
79. I mean, come on.Copy !req
80. But this one kid says
that he's a wizardCopy !req
81. - and that sony is helping...
- Guys! Guys!Copy !req
82. Guys! It's just a video game
machine, all rightCopy !req
83. Microsoft's a company that tries to be
above all the petty commercialism okayCopy !req
84. - O-okay.
- Okay.Copy !req
85. Well, Black Friday
is still a few days away,Copy !req
86. but it looks like it's already
claimed another fatality.Copy !req
87. - Niles lawson is on the scene.
- Niles, what are you hearingCopy !req
88. Tom, tragedy struck last nightCopy !req
89. when mall security officer
miles "happy" davisCopy !req
90. was beaten to death with this
candy cane after telling a motherCopy !req
91. she couldn't line up for black
friday until thursday night.Copy !req
92. In honor of the slain
mall security officer,Copy !req
93. the mall has decided to officially drop
another 10% off Black Friday deals.Copy !req
94. Too good to have died in such
a brutal but festive manner.Copy !req
95. Captain, captain, the mall is dropping
the Black Friday sale another 10%.Copy !req
96. - What
- Oh, my god!Copy !req
97. - They can't do that!
- What That's 90% off.Copy !req
98. Oh, god, they're back!Copy !req
99. There's hundreds of them!Copy !req
100. - Everybody stay put.
- I'll handle this.Copy !req
101. If you are here for Black Friday,
you cannot be on mall propertyCopy !req
102. until midnight on thanksgiving.Copy !req
103. We're not on mall property.Copy !req
104. Well, you're about to be.Copy !req
105. Well, what if we just walk
really, really slowCopy !req
106. Black Friday!Copy !req
107. You're gonna have to walk
slower than that.Copy !req
108. You've got a while.Copy !req
109. We can walk really slow. Look.Copy !req
110. - Smart asses.Copy !req
111. Paladin butters, I was hoping I could
talk to you about lady mckormick.Copy !req
112. You mean princess kenny,
my lordCopy !req
113. Yeah, whatever.Copy !req
114. The little prick thinks
he's daenerys targaryen.Copy !req
115. I need to know
how to deal with him.Copy !req
116. How do they deal with
the queen of dragonsCopy !req
117. - in Game of Thrones
- They don't!Copy !req
118. Well, did you finish watching
season 3 like I asked youCopy !req
119. Yeah, I finished it.
- So what happens when the dragons show upCopy !req
120. Nothing! The dragons are
just still on their way!Copy !req
121. They keep promising dragons, but all I
get are more floppy wieners in my face.Copy !req
122. Butt... butters,
the key to our victoryCopy !req
123. is following the Game of Thrones
model exactly.Copy !req
124. I have to know what happens
when the dragons show upCopy !req
125. so I know how to deal
with kenny.Copy !req
126. What do you want me to doCopy !req
127. Here's two bus tickets
to new mexico.Copy !req
128. I want you to take
sir scott malkinsonCopy !req
129. and go seek out
george r.R. Martin for answers.Copy !req
130. Who's george r.R. MartinCopy !req
131. He's the guy who writes
games of thrones, butters!Copy !req
132. He can let us both know
how to handle kennyCopy !req
133. and if we should betray
clyde or not.Copy !req
134. Let's face it, butters, this is really
about you and me getting xboxes.Copy !req
135. The rest are simply there to
help us get through the doors.Copy !req
136. Hey! I told you kids to
stay out of my damn yard.Copy !req
137. - Do you mind
- We're trying to talk here.Copy !req
138. Yeah Well, how come every
time you talk to somebodyCopy !req
139. it's about betraying
somebody elseCopy !req
140. Why don't you mind
your own businessCopy !req
141. No, listen, for the last time, we
don't have any dragons to send them.Copy !req
142. If some people want to choose playstations,
it's their choice.Copy !req
143. Sir, mr. Gates is here.Copy !req
144. Bill gatesCopy !req
145. I got to go.Copy !req
146. Hey, hey, bill gates actually
showing up at corporate.Copy !req
147. - Hey, steve, how you doing
- Not bad, you know,Copy !req
148. just trying to get this
next gen press stuff handled.Copy !req
149. I heard there's
a little trouble in, uh...Copy !req
150. - Colorado somewhere
- No, it turns outCopy !req
151. it was nothing,
just some kids trying toCopy !req
152. turn the console wars
into something bigger.Copy !req
153. - Oh, my gosh.
- You know, when I stepped downCopy !req
154. and left you in charge
of the company, steve,Copy !req
155. I knew there might be
some challenges for you.Copy !req
156. Yeah, well, nothing
I can't handle.Copy !req
157. There some changes we need
to make to our marketing,Copy !req
158. - but I'm optimistic.
- Uh-huh...Copy !req
159. I think we'll ultimately sell
the number of units we want to.Copy !req
160. - You're right, steve.
- Some changes do need to be made.Copy !req
161. Do you know what
weakness is, steveCopy !req
162. Weakness is believing
that competition is healthy.Copy !req
163. See, there was a timeCopy !req
164. when xboxes and playstations
could both survive in this worldCopy !req
165. but that time's done.Copy !req
166. It's all headed to one device that people
game on, watch tv on, socialize on.Copy !req
167. There's only going to be
one winner.Copy !req
168. I can't have you idiots throwing away
everything I worked so hard to achieve.Copy !req
169. Clean that shit up.Copy !req
170. Come on, scott, you're lagging.Copy !req
171. - I think my insulin's low.
- I need to eat.Copy !req
172. Let's just talk to this guy,
then we can hit a mcdonalds.Copy !req
173. Oh, here we go... 2217.Copy !req
174. - Can I help you
- HelloCopy !req
175. Is this george r.R. Martin's
houseCopy !req
176. Who is this, pleaseCopy !req
177. It's two kids who want to know what
happens when the dragons show up.Copy !req
178. HelloCopy !req
179. I'm sorry, but mr. Martin
does not see fans.Copy !req
180. - We're not fans!
- Yeah! We don't like it!Copy !req
181. We don't like it, and I'm pretty pissed
off, if you want to know the truth.Copy !req
182. - About what
- Let me talk toCopy !req
183. george r.R. Martin,
and I'll tell him about what.Copy !req
184. It's the red wedding, isn't itCopy !req
185. You hate how I killed
everyone offCopy !req
186. No, sir, we just really need
to know about the dragons,Copy !req
187. but they never seem to show up.Copy !req
188. - Oh, they're coming.
- The dragons are on their way.Copy !req
189. - When
- You really want to knowCopy !req
190. Please! It's urgent.Copy !req
191. All right. King joffrey
is still at king's landing,Copy !req
192. but there's a young blacksmith who
wakes up one morning with a plan,Copy !req
193. and his wiener gently hangs
down between his legs.Copy !req
194. Soft and flaccid, his weiner
glistens in the golden sunlight.Copy !req
195. No! Can we skip the wiener stuff
and just get to the dragonsCopy !req
196. - Aw, shit, I think...
- I think I'm going faint.Copy !req
197. - What's the matter, scott
- I told you I have to eatCopy !req
198. - every two hours!
- He's diabetic.Copy !req
199. Oh, jeez! Why don't you
kids come out of the coldCopy !req
200. - I'll order us some pizzas.
- Okay, thanks.Copy !req
201. - Come on in...
- I'll tell you everythingCopy !req
202. that's going to happen
in Game of Thrones.Copy !req
203. Sir kyle, I wanted to talk
to you about stan.Copy !req
204. If you want to make sure I'm notCopy !req
205. switching sides, cartman,
you don't have to worry.Copy !req
206. - Stan is wrong.
- It isn't that.Copy !req
207. Princess kenny
is loved by her army,Copy !req
208. but stan is still the nuts
and balls of the operation.Copy !req
209. It would be a huge setback
to the traitorsCopy !req
210. getting their playstations if
stan were to be... GroundedCopy !req
211. Grounded For whatCopy !req
212. - That could be up to you.
- No, cartman.Copy !req
213. You said nobody
would have to be grounded.Copy !req
214. We're not playing dirty.Copy !req
215. - Fine, sir kyle.
- Perhaps you're right.Copy !req
216. Did you know that stan's dad is working
a temp job as mall security - WhatCopy !req
217. Seems a little convenient,
doesn't itCopy !req
218. Stan with somebody on the inside
to help him get his PS4sCopy !req
219. Who's playing dirty nowCopy !req
220. Let's face it sir kyle, this is all
about you and me getting xboxes.Copy !req
221. The rest are simply there to
help us get through those doors.Copy !req
222. Don't believe it!Copy !req
223. He said that
to a bunch of people.Copy !req
224. Dude, you better stop harassing
me, or I'm calling the cops.Copy !req
225. - You're calling the cops
- Yeah!Copy !req
226. - You're on my property!
- I'm calling the cops.Copy !req
227. - Well, go ahead!
- Call the cops then!Copy !req
228. Oh!Copy !req
229. Oh, it's you.Copy !req
230. Tom, I'm standing
in your doorwayCopy !req
231. because we have a hot
news story to report.Copy !req
232. We don't go to work
for another hour.Copy !req
233. We just got a call
from bill gates.Copy !req
234. He says he can promise us a bigger war
on Black Friday if we play along.Copy !req
235. - He wants us to side with him
- That's right, tammy.Copy !req
236. Let's not forget that having
a blood bath on Black FridayCopy !req
237. is good for the news.
It's good for us.Copy !req
238. The bigger the better.Copy !req
239. Our job is to report the news,
not make it more violent.Copy !req
240. Right, tom, because
you're so about integrity.Copy !req
241. Let's go.Copy !req
242. Or maybe I should let
everyone in the newsroomCopy !req
243. know what their
two anchors are up to.Copy !req
244. Back to you.Copy !req
245. It's the morning news
with tom and tammy thompson,Copy !req
246. colorado's top-rated
brother-sister news team.Copy !req
247. Well, Black Friday
is just around the corner,Copy !req
248. and, tammy, it's getting
fierce out there.Copy !req
249. That's right, niles
laughton is out at the mallCopy !req
250. with a little holiday surprise.Copy !req
251. Tammy, the excitement
over Black Friday is peaking,Copy !req
252. and none other than
bill gates himselfCopy !req
253. has shown up to try
to make it even bigger.Copy !req
254. That's right, we just
want to do whatever we canCopy !req
255. to help our supporters get their
xboxes at incredible deals on friday.Copy !req
256. So we've come to offer swords and battle
axes, whatever the kids can carryCopy !req
257. to help them fight their way
through the other shoppers.Copy !req
258. We understand that you've donated
some guns to the kids as well.Copy !req
259. Yes, but we are limiting it
to one per xbox follower,Copy !req
260. because, of course, the key thing
here on everyone's mind is safety.Copy !req
261. Hi, is kenny homeCopy !req
262. Yeah, kenny's out back
playing with his friends.Copy !req
263. Forward, men!Copy !req
264. That... no...
no, you gotta turn me.Copy !req
265. - It's the enemy.
- Defensive puh-puh-positions!Copy !req
266. Kill 'em, get out!Copy !req
267. I seek audience with
the traitor lady mckormick.Copy !req
268. Let them pass.Copy !req
269. The princess bids your fat
ass welcome to her kingdomCopy !req
270. and suggests
you state your purpose.Copy !req
271. - You can't win this, guys.
- Look around you.Copy !req
272. Lay down your weapons,
and you can come backCopy !req
273. and fight for xboxes with us
on Black Friday.Copy !req
274. The princess says that if
you want to change your mindCopy !req
275. and agree that playstations
are better, she'll consider it.Copy !req
276. Kenny, we all understand wanting to
play as the chick once in a while, okayCopy !req
277. But you are never going to
be a real princess.Copy !req
278. WhatCopy !req
279. The princess calls you
a ball-licking lesbian.Copy !req
280. That doesn't even make sense.Copy !req
281. Stan, this has gone too far.Copy !req
282. People are going to get hurt.Copy !req
283. What you started
is way out of control.Copy !req
284. What I started How dare you!Copy !req
285. All these people are going
to be gaming on xbox.Copy !req
286. You really want to just game with
craig the rest of your lifeCopy !req
287. I would rather game with
craig than spend one minuteCopy !req
288. having to set up
an xbox live account.Copy !req
289. We will get our playstations tomorrow,
and you buttholes will have nothing!Copy !req
290. You're outnumbered ten to
one, and there's no time left.Copy !req
291. How will you winCopy !req
292. The gods will find us a way.Copy !req
293. So then samwell tarly
sees the army approaching,Copy !req
294. and his wiener
is about this big.Copy !req
295. He knows that stannis baratheon's weiner
is probably shriveled from the coldCopy !req
296. samwell has to rally his men.
So what does he doCopy !req
297. Takes out his wiener... And he dangles it aroundCopy !req
298. for all his men to see.Copy !req
299. - Ah!Copy !req
300. Oh!Copy !req
301. Sir, you said pizzas
were coming.Copy !req
302. - Yeah, yeah.
- They're on their way.Copy !req
303. They're still coming. So samwell's
wiener goes...Copy !req
304. But you said they were on
their way like three hours ago.Copy !req
305. If I don't get pizza soon,
I'm going pass out.Copy !req
306. Don't worry, they're coming.Copy !req
307. Pizzas are on their way.
They're gonna be amazing.Copy !req
308. Now, john snow finally faces
jaime lannister,Copy !req
309. and this guy's weiner is,
you know, huge, rightCopy !req
310. - So it's not going to be easy.
- Ehh!Copy !req
311. Mr. gates, I was hoping
I could talk to youCopy !req
312. - about the fight tomorrow.
- Certainly.Copy !req
313. Uh, eric, rightCopy !req
314. It's my lord wizard king,
actually.Copy !req
315. Having your leadership
has certainly been a help,Copy !req
316. but I hope that we're clear
that this is my army.Copy !req
317. There can only be
one person of royalty.Copy !req
318. That's kind of the ruse.Copy !req
319. I certainly don't want to
step on your toes.Copy !req
320. Don't worry, I'm quite good at
letting my CEOs do what they want.Copy !req
321. Your CEOsCopy !req
322. Let's face it... this is really
just about you and me getting xboxesCopy !req
323. the rest are simply there to help us...
Get through those doors.Copy !req
324. Uh... hmm. WhatCopy !req
325. Ha ha!Copy !req
326. How's it feelCopy !req
327. Now who's walking who
through the betrayal gardenCopy !req
328. Why don't you stay
the out of my businessCopy !req
329. Why don't you stay the
out of my yardCopy !req
330. Ish, ish, ish, oh-ish!Copy !req
331. Hi-sooooo!Copy !req
332. - That was amazing sex.
- I enjoyed it immensely.Copy !req
333. How about you -Copy !req
334. You know,
microsoft has given kidsCopy !req
335. who want xboxes on Black Friday
a lot of support.Copy !req
336. Seems a shame that the fight
will be so one-sided.Copy !req
337. Eh.Copy !req
338. Black Friday's about to happen, and
it's not even going to be a fight.Copy !req
339. That's bad for both of us.Copy !req
340. There must be something you can
give to kids who want soniesCopy !req
341. to make the fight more even.Copy !req
342. Hai... Kore ga arimasu.Copy !req
343. Yes, I think
that will do nicely.Copy !req
344. Stop, please.
I can't take anymore.Copy !req
345. But this is the best part right
before king joffrey gets poisoned.Copy !req
346. Everyone flips their wieners
all around his face!Copy !req
347. - Yaaaaaah!
- Listen, buddy!Copy !req
348. You promised that pizzas
were on the way!Copy !req
349. If they don't show up right now, you're
gonna have a dead kid on your hands.Copy !req
350. Do you hear meCopy !req
351. - Okay, fine, fine!
- What kind of pizzas do you wantCopy !req
352. - What kind do we want
- He hasn't even ordered the pizzas yet!Copy !req
353. - Don't worry, they're coming!
- Not just two pizzas.Copy !req
354. There's... there's gonna be five.Copy !req
355. And they're gonna be huge!
You won't believe it.Copy !req
356. Come on, scott. We're leaving.Copy !req
357. Wait, I haven't told you
what happens yet!Copy !req
358. No! Black Friday is about to happen,
and my friends and I have to beCopy !req
359. the first ones inside the mall
to get xboxes.Copy !req
360. - Well, why didn't you say so
- I can help with that.Copy !req
361. What do you meanCopy !req
362. - I'll make calls.
- I know a way to make sureCopy !req
363. you're completely prepared
for Black Friday.Copy !req
364. Sony PS4.Copy !req
365. The president of sony bids you thanks
for all your support of the PS4.Copy !req
366. He offers you this gift to once and
for all make you an official princessCopy !req
367. and to give you the powers you need
to win this war on Black Friday.Copy !req
368. Wow, kenny's
a japanese princess.Copy !req
369. Whoo!Copy !req
370. Oh, god, we're done for!Copy !req
371. My friends,
the time is almost here.Copy !req
372. Let us face these shoppersCopy !req
373. with the bravery of those mall
security officers before us.Copy !req
374. Commander marsh.Copy !req
375. They're whatCopy !req
376. They're going to whatCopy !req
377. Tom, we have breaking news
from the South Park mall.Copy !req
378. In an effort to make sure
everyone is prepared,Copy !req
379. the mall has decided to push
Black Friday by one week.Copy !req
380. - Aw!
- WhatCopy !req
381. The genius idea was proposed
by george r.R. MartinCopy !req
382. "It! Let's
push thanksgiving to december 3rd."Copy !req
383. For pushing the date, the mall is now
reducing Black Friday prices to 96% offCopy !req
384. to the first hundred people
inside the mall.Copy !req
385. This is going to be
a blood bath, tom!Copy !req
386. There will be medical tents,
ambulances, face painting.Copy !req
387. No doubt a lot of people you
know and love are going to die.Copy !req
388. Stop, please!Copy !req
389. Sync & corrections by no1
www.Addic7ed.ComCopy !req