1. I'm going down to South Park,Copy !req
2. gonna have myself a time.Copy !req
3. Friendly faces everywhere,Copy !req
4. humble folks without temptation.Copy !req
5. Going down to South Park
gonna leave my woes behind.Copy !req
6. Ample parking day or night,Copy !req
7. people shouting howdy neighbor!Copy !req
8. Headin' up to South Park
gonna see if I can't unwind.Copy !req
9. So come on down to South Park
and meet some friends o' mine!Copy !req
10. Martonius Jackson catches the ball!Copy !req
11. He's running down the
sideline and— ooohhh!Copy !req
12. Did you see that hit?Copy !req
13. Jackson stopped at the forty
five and he is slow to get up.Copy !req
14. That was a great hit, boys.Copy !req
15. Remember that at practice tomorrow.Copy !req
16. Yeah, Jackson took a real shot andCopy !req
17. I'm not sure what he's doing now,Copy !req
18. but it appears as though he's
looking for his keys, Dan.Copy !req
19. Yeah, and that doesn't make a lotCopy !req
20. of sense because ever since
his concussion in 06,Copy !req
21. he doesn't even he have a license.Copy !req
22. Coach Martin is coming
over to tell him that now,Copy !req
23. but Jackson appears to
think he's in his car,Copy !req
24. driving home.Copy !req
25. Well, during this time out we'reCopy !req
26. happy to be joined by the
commissioner of the NFL,Copy !req
27. Roger Goodell.Copy !req
28. Commissioner,Copy !req
29. a lot of hoopla about concussions
this year in the NFL,Copy !req
30. how is the league handling all that?Copy !req
31. Well, there certainly are interesting
statistics coming out, Dan.Copy !req
32. And we are deeply concerned
and waiting to see ifCopy !req
33. there's really any direct correlationCopy !req
34. between football and head trauma.Copy !req
35. Oh and it looks like someCopy !req
36. of the NFL alumni are taking the field now.Copy !req
37. There's all pro safety Martin Gregors.Copy !req
38. And fullback Jim Harris,Copy !req
39. looks like his pants are
down around his ankles.Copy !req
40. Somebody should let him know,Copy !req
41. Yeah, not sure if that's meant
to be a cake or perhaps a,Copy !req
42. a loaf of bread but he definitely
thinks he's baking something.Copy !req
43. Boy, I just don't get football.Copy !req
44. Guess that's why I suck at it.Copy !req
45. You don't suck at football, Butters,Copy !req
46. you suck at all sports.Copy !req
47. That's true!Copy !req
48. Ol Eric tells me I should workCopy !req
49. at a Thai massage parlor
I'm so good at sucking!Copy !req
50. That's right, Butters.Copy !req
51. And with that,Copy !req
52. the Browns are ready to kick
it off back to the Broncos.Copy !req
53. All right, all right here you go boys.Copy !req
54. Watch them on the kickoff. All right?Copy !req
55. Special teams are the most important plays.Copy !req
56. We don't do kickoffs any more.Copy !req
57. The school said they're the mostCopy !req
58. dangerous plays so they don't
have us do them any more.Copy !req
59. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Whoa..Copy !req
60. What the fuck!Copy !req
61. Okay, before we get started with thisCopy !req
62. PTA meeting does anyone have
any outstanding issues?Copy !req
63. Yeah, I'd like to talk about this geniusCopy !req
64. new rule in the football
program about no kickoffs.Copy !req
65. Uh yes,Copy !req
66. we've decided to go without kickoffsCopy !req
67. because of the concerns
raised over concussions,Copy !req
68. - mkay.
- Oh yeah,Copy !req
69. we don't kids getting
hurt playing football.Copy !req
70. But I think I have a way
to make it even better.Copy !req
71. Why don't we have the
players just wear bras?Copy !req
72. Bras?Copy !req
73. Yeah. The players should
all wear bras and insteadCopy !req
74. of helmets they should wear little
tin foil hats because you know,Copy !req
75. it's "the future"Copy !req
76. and we shouldn't be so barbaric!Copy !req
77. How would the bras and
tinfoil hats make it safer?Copy !req
78. Oh you're all not getting it!Copy !req
79. See, while we're at it,Copy !req
80. we'll have a balloon instead of a ball.Copy !req
81. And whoever catches the balloonCopy !req
82. tries to run while all
the other players hug.Copy !req
83. You think the students would like that?Copy !req
84. Oh they'd love it!Copy !req
85. A sport where safety is all that matters.Copy !req
86. How about we call it — sarcastaball!Copy !req
87. Mkay.Copy !req
88. Would you mind being theCopy !req
89. coach of the South Park sarcastaball team?Copy !req
90. Jesus Christ.Copy !req
91. Yes, I would love to be the
coach of the sarcastaball team.Copy !req
92. Dad, do we really have to wear bras?Copy !req
93. Yeah, Stan, this is what people want.Copy !req
94. Don't worry,Copy !req
95. you look really cool.Copy !req
96. I got the balloon Coach Marsh
what should I do with it?Copy !req
97. Oh you know,Copy !req
98. try to get it into the endzone
but be really polite about it.Copy !req
99. Okay!Copy !req
100. Excuse me. Pardon me.Copy !req
101. You guys look terrific.Copy !req
102. Wow, this game is great!Copy !req
103. How's it going, Coach?Copy !req
104. How's it going?Copy !req
105. Awesome!Copy !req
106. Nobody's getting hurt and the
kids are learning valuableCopy !req
107. life lessons cuz hugging and safety
is what the world is all about!Copy !req
108. So you're happy with these changes?Copy !req
109. Happy?Copy !req
110. I'm thrilled!Copy !req
111. Look at how much better this is!Copy !req
112. Okay.Copy !req
113. Is football safe for your kids?Copy !req
114. Concerned parent, Randy Marsh,Copy !req
115. says no and has started a
movement to reform the sport,Copy !req
116. gathering followers by the hundreds.Copy !req
117. Oh this is good.Copy !req
118. Nice for you all to turn outCopy !req
119. in record numbers to show your
support for sarcastaball.Copy !req
120. Yeah, yeah,Copy !req
121. we're through with our kidsCopy !req
122. getting knocked on da
gwooound and tackwled.Copy !req
123. Let's make sarcastaball the
official school sport nation wide!Copy !req
124. Go on! Pat yourselves on the back!Copy !req
125. Showing just how much one
concerned parent can do,Copy !req
126. Marsh then found himself in front
of the leaders of Washington.Copy !req
127. Yeah, yeah, let's do that.Copy !req
128. We got an economy in the toilet,Copy !req
129. a big election coming up,Copy !req
130. but this country's number one priority
should be making football safer.Copy !req
131. This is ridiculous!Copy !req
132. Are we really going to go out there
and play North Park like this?Copy !req
133. I can't even remember if we'reCopy !req
134. supposed to hug the
fullback or compliment him.Copy !req
135. I'm so confused.Copy !req
136. This game is stupid.Copy !req
137. I have no idea how to go out onCopy !req
138. a field and be as nice as
I can to the other team!Copy !req
139. Yeah, you know what,Copy !req
140. screw this!Copy !req
141. Hey, whoa!Copy !req
142. I can't believe what I'm hearing!Copy !req
143. We been practicing and gettingCopy !req
144. ready for this game and you
fellas just wanna quit?Copy !req
145. We don't even understand
how this game is played.Copy !req
146. This great game isn't about plays,Copy !req
147. it's about sportsmanship and compassion.Copy !req
148. And when I look around this locker room,Copy !req
149. I see some of the nicest,Copy !req
150. most compassionate guys I've ever met.Copy !req
151. Token,Copy !req
152. you're nicer than anybody I know.Copy !req
153. And Clyde,Copy !req
154. you give better hugs than
anyone out on that field!Copy !req
155. That's true.Copy !req
156. Are we just gonna let North Park walk awayCopy !req
157. with a victory because we think
they know how to be nicer than us?Copy !req
158. Being nice is about what's inside you!Copy !req
159. When your enemy is nice to you
you just be nice right back!Copy !req
160. If they give you two balloons
well you give 'em three!Copy !req
161. Yeah. Yeah!Copy !req
162. And when they try and thank you
for those balloons you sayCopy !req
163. 'I don't need any thanks I did it
cuz it was the right thing to do'Copy !req
164. and then you give 'em a smile!Copy !req
165. And when that other team
tries to come at you,Copy !req
166. that's when you gotta reach deep down,Copy !req
167. right down to your creamy
center - that place,Copy !req
168. that place, inside you
where all the gooey happyCopy !req
169. loving goo sits and you gotta
use that to be the nicest,Copy !req
170. most compassionate player you've ever beenCopy !req
171. and let the world know that we
will not go down so easy!Copy !req
172. Let's do this.Copy !req
173. Stan, hook up my bra.Copy !req
174. As Commissioner of the NFL
I am so thrilled to seeCopy !req
175. our nations youth embrace sarcastaball
over traditional football.Copy !req
176. Oh but why stop there?Copy !req
177. Since football is so barbaric
we should change too!Copy !req
178. So let's give a big welcomeCopy !req
179. to the new Coach of the Denver Broncos,Copy !req
180. Randy Marsh!Copy !req
181. Congratulations, Marsh.Copy !req
182. Good job.Copy !req
183. Oh thank you Commissioner,Copy !req
184. I'm thrilled to be a part of this.Copy !req
185. Thanks.Copy !req
186. Nice going.Copy !req
187. Yeah, no, no,Copy !req
188. you nice going.Copy !req
189. Hey, guys,Copy !req
190. how about a nice fucking picture to
welcome in the future of sports.Copy !req
191. Welcome to the inaugural game of
the National Sarcastaball League!Copy !req
192. As we bring you today's match upCopy !req
193. between the Denver Broncos
and the Oakland Raiders.Copy !req
194. Yeah, lookin good guys
let's kick some butt.Copy !req
195. Give 'em hell Coach!Copy !req
196. Loving, not shoving!Copy !req
197. Oh, yeah, good one!Copy !req
198. And now here are your
Denver whoop dee fucking do girls!Copy !req
199. Go Broncos go.Copy !req
200. Whoop dee fucking do.Copy !req
201. And now here to sing the sarcastaball
anthem recording artist,Copy !req
202. Celo.Copy !req
203. I love sarcastaball!Copy !req
204. It's soooo much better than fooootball.Copy !req
205. I'm soooo glad they got rid
of vi-o-lence in sports,Copy !req
206. cuz sarcastaball is so super fun to watch.Copy !req
207. Nice job, Celo,Copy !req
208. good to see you on TV some more.Copy !req
209. Yeah, I'm a big fan of all your hit songs!Copy !req
210. Dude, what do you mean
we don't have a coach?Copy !req
211. Look, I'm sorry guys,Copy !req
212. my dad said he's too busy with the Broncos,Copy !req
213. he doesn't have time for us.Copy !req
214. But our big game with Lakewood is Saturday!Copy !req
215. I'm sorry!Copy !req
216. My dad is taking professional
sarcastaball really seriously.Copy !req
217. Well, we might as well call up
Lakewood and tell 'em we forfeit.Copy !req
218. We can't!Copy !req
219. We don't have a coach, Kyle!Copy !req
220. Who needs a coach?Copy !req
221. We have Butters.Copy !req
222. Hey, yeah.Copy !req
223. The guys are right.Copy !req
224. From now on you're team Captain, Butters.Copy !req
225. You lead us to victory.Copy !req
226. Oh jeez, no, I don't know fellas.Copy !req
227. Butters, you understand this
game better than anybody.Copy !req
228. Yeah, but I— but I can't be team Captain,Copy !req
229. I suck at everything.Copy !req
230. Not at this you don't.Copy !req
231. What about that creamy
filling you talked about?Copy !req
232. That gooey goodness inside youCopy !req
233. that makes you the
butteriest Butters we know.Copy !req
234. It's in there.Copy !req
235. It's overflowing sometimes.Copy !req
236. We need you, Butters.Copy !req
237. You're the man.Copy !req
238. But-ters! But-ters! But-ters!Copy !req
239. But-ters Butters!Copy !req
240. I love you,Copy !req
241. Butters!Copy !req
242. Love you too, ladies.Copy !req
243. Oh, Butters!Copy !req
244. You now how I feel about the
Captain of sports teams!Copy !req
245. Leave him alone, Wendy,Copy !req
246. he's mine!Copy !req
247. Wowoo — what- what- oh.Copy !req
248. Daaad!Copy !req
249. It happened again!Copy !req
250. More of my creamy goo came out.Copy !req
251. Oh. Well, that's okay, Butters.Copy !req
252. Remember what we talked about,Copy !req
253. sometimes our happy creamyCopy !req
254. feeling just gets so full
it comes out at night.Copy !req
255. I was having happy dreams
about a girl and-!Copy !req
256. All right, Butters,Copy !req
257. it's happy feelings.Copy !req
258. Let's just not talk about it.Copy !req
259. Okay, Dad!Copy !req
260. Save that for later!Copy !req
261. The score is zero to zeroCopy !req
262. as the Steelers kick off to the Broncos.Copy !req
263. Go Broncos go.Copy !req
264. Manning has the ball.Copy !req
265. He's saying some really great
things about the other team.Copy !req
266. Manning met by Lamar Woodley- he's
giving the balloon to Woodley!Copy !req
267. The referee comes in...Copy !req
268. Oh, the referee is calling
that a touchdown!Copy !req
269. Oh wait,Copy !req
270. now another official is
signaling that's a safety.Copy !req
271. Oh, yeah, nice going replacement refs!Copy !req
272. They're gonna have to sort this
one out with the side judge.Copy !req
273. Fuck it.
It's a fucking field goal.Copy !req
274. Yeah!Copy !req
275. Yeahh! Wooo!Copy !req
276. Coach three to nothing
victory over the Steelers.Copy !req
277. You must feel like a real winner.Copy !req
278. Yeah, well, the other team was justCopy !req
279. so awesome on offense I was really scared.Copy !req
280. Coach Belichick says no way
we can beat the Broncos.Copy !req
281. They've had the same
coach for almost a day.Copy !req
282. Oh, yeah, I'm just the guy
who invented sarcastaball.Copy !req
283. There's no way I know how to coach it.Copy !req
284. Guess we'll find out on Sunday.Copy !req
285. Yeah.Copy !req
286. All right, guys listen up- forget aboutCopy !req
287. the day off we need to practice tomorrow!Copy !req
288. Practice on Monday after a victory?Copy !req
289. Great.Copy !req
290. That's good Peyton,Copy !req
291. but we need to get better.Copy !req
292. Practice on Monday?Copy !req
293. That's just what I wanna do.Copy !req
294. That's it!Copy !req
295. Hey, Butters, you got a minute?Copy !req
296. Sure, Eric!Copy !req
297. I don't know what to do.Copy !req
298. Kids are starting to makeCopy !req
299. fun of me because I'm no
good at sarcastaball.Copy !req
300. I suck at being nice and polite.Copy !req
301. I'm so good at sucking I should
work at a Thai massage parlor.Copy !req
302. Oh no, Eric,Copy !req
303. you're, you're a great player.Copy !req
304. No, I just don't have the
mojo you have, Butters.Copy !req
305. Oh, well, Eric, I told you,Copy !req
306. everyone has a creamy filling insideCopy !req
307. them where all the feelings of
compassion and joy come from.Copy !req
308. Didn't your dad ever tell you that?Copy !req
309. I don't have a dad.Copy !req
310. Oh right, I'm sorry.Copy !req
311. Well, everyone has a creamy filling, Eric.Copy !req
312. And some people have so muchCopy !req
313. of that feeling that it
comes out sometimes.Copy !req
314. A lot of times,Copy !req
315. when I go to sleep and especiallyCopy !req
316. if I'm having wonderful dreams
that make me feel really good.Copy !req
317. Sometimes I wake up.Copy !req
318. And when I wake up,Copy !req
319. I realize some of my goo has come out.Copy !req
320. Oh, jeez, there's a lot this time!Copy !req
321. But I always make sure I keep it,Copy !req
322. just in case I ever run out of
all my happy sunshine feelings.Copy !req
323. You save it all?Copy !req
324. My goo doesn't come out every night,Copy !req
325. but I sure do seem to have a surplus of it.Copy !req
326. Butters,Copy !req
327. do you think your goo might
work on someone else?Copy !req
328. I don't know.Copy !req
329. I never really thought of it that way.Copy !req
330. It's kind of a grape-y, bleach-y flavor.Copy !req
331. Do you feel warm and compassionate?Copy !req
332. Holy shit, I think I do.Copy !req
333. Welcome back to Rome,Copy !req
334. we're gonna talk some sarcastaball.Copy !req
335. I can't wait.Copy !req
336. I can't wait to talk sarcastaball
because it's really compelling.Copy !req
337. Joining me now is the coachCopy !req
338. of the Denver Broncos and the
inventor of sarcastaball,Copy !req
339. Randy Marsh.Copy !req
340. Thanks for callin in, Randy.Copy !req
341. Really happy to have you on the show.Copy !req
342. Yeah, it's awesome to be on your show.Copy !req
343. Randy, first off,Copy !req
344. thanks for taking a sport that we all love,Copy !req
345. and turning it into a sarcastic nightmare.Copy !req
346. Way to go.Copy !req
347. Thanks, Jim.Copy !req
348. Cuz it's totally what I intended.Copy !req
349. You know, when I came up withCopy !req
350. the idea I was sure it was
gonna end up like this.Copy !req
351. Well, it certainly makes
for an exciting game.Copy !req
352. How about last night's nail
biter that ended 0 to 0.Copy !req
353. That's a game I wanna watch twice.Copy !req
354. That's a game I wanna watch four times.Copy !req
355. Check that.Copy !req
356. I'll watch that game five times.Copy !req
357. Good luck on Sunday.Copy !req
358. I'm sure that'll be another game
that I could watch twelve times.Copy !req
359. Check that,Copy !req
360. thirteen times.Copy !req
361. Thanks, Jim.Copy !req
362. Randy, aren't you going to come
join your family for dinner?Copy !req
363. Oh, yeah, I've totally got
time to do that, Sharon.Copy !req
364. In fact, how about I go downstairsCopy !req
365. and make a four course meal for all of you.Copy !req
366. Check that.Copy !req
367. A seven-course meal.Copy !req
368. Randy,
something's happened.Copy !req
369. Are you unable to stop being sarcastic?Copy !req
370. Oh, right, I can't stop
being sarcastic now.Copy !req
371. I'm telling you, Randy,Copy !req
372. I think this sport is doing
something to your brain.Copy !req
373. Right, it's doing something to my brainCopy !req
374. and now I can't stop being sarcastic.Copy !req
375. Do you mean that?Copy !req
376. Yes! I totally mean it!Copy !req
377. Help me, Sharon.Copy !req
378. Helllp me.Copy !req
379. All right, first string
cover those wideouts.Copy !req
380. Tell 'em how much you like their outfits!Copy !req
381. Clyde! Token!Copy !req
382. Hug those two players and give
their quarterback a kiss!Copy !req
383. Cartman, you idiot!Copy !req
384. Stay positive, Stan!Copy !req
385. All right, guys cuddle up!Copy !req
386. Cuddle up!Copy !req
387. Now, what is going on out there?Copy !req
388. That kid is provoking us!Copy !req
389. He's saying mean things
to try to piss us off.Copy !req
390. Yeah. We need more of your mojo, Butters.Copy !req
391. Oh all right,Copy !req
392. all right here ya go.Copy !req
393. I'm sorry, Mr. Marsh,Copy !req
394. but there appears to be permanent damage.Copy !req
395. Oh boy,Copy !req
396. this is great.Copy !req
397. My week just keeps getting better.Copy !req
398. How do we fix this, doctor?Copy !req
399. You don't.Copy !req
400. I'm sorry.Copy !req
401. There just isn't enoughCopy !req
402. research in how sarcasm effects the brain.Copy !req
403. So that's it.Copy !req
404. I should just go home andCopy !req
405. forget about what this
sport has done to me.Copy !req
406. Let thousands of people play
sarcastaball and get hurt too.Copy !req
407. Oh, really,Copy !req
408. you think there's a correlation
between sarcasm and sarcastaball?Copy !req
409. Really?Copy !req
410. That's fascinating.Copy !req
411. Please go on.Copy !req
412. No, sarcastaball has nothing to do with it,Copy !req
413. I just — I just really enjoyCopy !req
414. being sarcastic and so I
must be finding an excuse.Copy !req
415. You know,Copy !req
416. I have a fifty year old Alzheimer's patientCopy !req
417. out in the waiting room who
can't even remember his family,Copy !req
418. but let's forget about him and focusCopy !req
419. on how sarcastaball might be
damaging people's brains.Copy !req
420. My son is out there playing that game.Copy !req
421. It's heart warming to seeCopy !req
422. you have such high regard for his safety!Copy !req
423. Okay. Well, I've got a better idea,Copy !req
424. let's get all the fundingCopy !req
425. for cancer research and genetic diseases,Copy !req
426. let's take all that moneyCopy !req
427. and make commercials that say 'hey America,Copy !req
428. sarcasm might not be such a
great thing for your brain.Copy !req
429. Thank you, Doctor.Copy !req
430. Thank you so much!Copy !req
431. Jim Rome here.Copy !req
432. Hey, I love sarcastaball just
as much as the next guy.Copy !req
433. But sometimes it's so thrillingCopy !req
434. I need an extra burst of energy
to get me through a game.Copy !req
435. That's when I reach for a bottle of this.Copy !req
436. Butters Creamy Goo.Copy !req
437. You play hard.Copy !req
438. You need a sports drink that
gives you that extra boost.Copy !req
439. Sports these days are all about being nice.Copy !req
440. So take your game to the next
level with Butters Creamy Goo.Copy !req
441. You'll be filled with feelingsCopy !req
442. of good tidings and be nicer
than a ray of sunshine.Copy !req
443. Like me!Copy !req
444. Get with it,Copy !req
445. and get the goo.Copy !req
446. Butters Creamy Goo is chock-full of all
the essentials an athlete needs.Copy !req
447. Cumitment!Copy !req
448. Cumpassion!Copy !req
449. And cumrodery!Copy !req
450. And now it's available in quart size.Copy !req
451. When I get hot and tired only one
thing can boost my compassion.Copy !req
452. Now I'm back in the game!Copy !req
453. Go and chug a bottle of Butters Creamy Goo.Copy !req
454. Best served just above room temperature.Copy !req
455. 42!Copy !req
456. Red 13!Copy !req
457. Sunshine and happy thoughts!Copy !req
458. Sunshine and happy thoughts.Copy !req
459. Oh no! That kid's gonna intercept it!Copy !req
460. Good job, kid!Copy !req
461. Staaan?Copy !req
462. Staaaan!Copy !req
463. Dad?Copy !req
464. Get in the car, Stan.Copy !req
465. We're going home.Copy !req
466. What?Copy !req
467. We're sorry, Stanley,Copy !req
468. we don't want you playing
this sport any more.Copy !req
469. Hey, get off the field,Copy !req
470. mkay!Copy !req
471. Everyone, everyone listen.Copy !req
472. There's something you need
to know about sarcastaball.Copy !req
473. It turns out it's totally safe.Copy !req
474. Yeah, it's super safe.Copy !req
475. It's like so safe that we
should have every kid play it.Copy !req
476. Sorry, sorry hang on.Copy !req
477. Gotta not be so sarcastic.Copy !req
478. Let me try that again.Copy !req
479. Listen everyone,Copy !req
480. if you let your kids play sarcastaball,Copy !req
481. you're a fucking genius.Copy !req
482. Cut, sorry.Copy !req
483. Try this again.Copy !req
484. Look, what I'm trying to say is,Copy !req
485. we should have like ten sarcastaballCopy !req
486. leagues because then
everyone — God dammit!Copy !req
487. Stanley,Copy !req
488. just get your things and come on.Copy !req
489. We're going home.Copy !req
490. You can't tell me what to do!Copy !req
491. Yeah, we're your parents,Copy !req
492. we can't tell you what to do.Copy !req
493. Don't you see what this sport
has done to your father?Copy !req
494. Do you want to end up like him?Copy !req
495. Oh, right, like he doesn't
exaggerate every disease he gets.Copy !req
496. Oh, Randy! It's happening!Copy !req
497. Mr. Marsh, listen,Copy !req
498. I know you care about your son,Copy !req
499. but he's a heck of a player.Copy !req
500. He's good at tickling,Copy !req
501. laughing, and gettin' along.Copy !req
502. Look the point has been made ok?Copy !req
503. I'm warning you being this
sarcastic is dangerous.Copy !req
504. We're not being sarcastic, Dad!Copy !req
505. Is it so hard to believe thatCopy !req
506. we really enjoy a sport
that has no violence?Copy !req
507. Is it so hard for you to believe thatCopy !req
508. when Butters says competitiveness
can be compassionate,Copy !req
509. he's being completely sincere?Copy !req
510. I don't see how anyone could play
this game with any sincerity.Copy !req
511. That's because you're too grumpy
and negative to believe it.Copy !req
512. What you need,Copy !req
513. is a sports drink that canCopy !req
514. boost your levels of caring and goodness.Copy !req
515. Yeah, Dad,Copy !req
516. you need some of this.Copy !req
517. This is cum.Copy !req
518. And you can just sit hereCopy !req
519. in your room and think
about what you've done!Copy !req
520. Just because people try and makeCopy !req
521. football a little safer by
changing a kick off rule,Copy !req
522. doesn't mean you need take it toCopy !req
523. 'oh why don't we just drink each other's "cum".Copy !req
524. Sarcasm like that is homophobic,Copy !req
525. chauvinistic and completely
lacking in maturity!Copy !req
526. Any questions?Copy !req
527. What's sarcasm and what's cum?Copy !req
528. We'll talk about that when you're older.Copy !req
529. Come on, everybody,Copy !req
530. let's work on that kick off change
and get back to some football.Copy !req
531. Welcome back to Rome.Copy !req
532. Some of you might of seen
me on TV last night.Copy !req
533. Turns out the drink I endorsed was semen.Copy !req
534. Turns out a little kid was
just being sarcastic.Copy !req
535. That kid's probably grounded for a month.Copy !req
536. Check that I'm sure he's
grounded for two months.Copy !req
537. And a week.Copy !req
538. Football needs to be made saferCopy !req
539. so why don't we have players
in bras drinking semen.Copy !req
540. Yeah, that's a fast ball right there.Copy !req
541. That's a real stroke of philosophic genius.Copy !req
542. War little kids drinking semen to
finally bring back real footballCopy !req
543. and I don't know what else to
say but so long sarcastaball,Copy !req
544. it was nice knowing you.Copy !req
545. Let's just hope nothing like
this ever happens again.Copy !req
546. Probably won't.Copy !req
547. Not for another year.Copy !req
548. Check that,Copy !req
549. a couple days.Copy !req
550. Daaaaaaaaddd!Copy !req
551. Hey Dad!Copy !req
552. What?Copy !req
553. My wiener's all stiff and pointy.Copy !req
554. Oh, well, Butters.Copy !req
555. That's just a friendly compass.Copy !req
556. See, whenever you have friends
in the areaCopy !req
557. your little compass there
tells you where they are.Copy !req
558. It's pointing upCopy !req
559. because Jesus is your friend.Copy !req
560. Thanks Dad.Copy !req