1. I'm telling you,
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2. music videos have evolved
to nothing but pretty girls
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3. wearing skin-tight clothes
and singing about their vajayjays.
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4. It used to be about relationships,
now it's all,
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5. "My vajayjay this, my vajayjay that."
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6. But, clearly, that's what sells.
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7. When was the last time
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8. you didn't see some chicks
singing about her vajayjay?
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9. You can't remember.
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10. Hey.
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11. Where's your lunch?
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12. It's OK.
I'm not hungry anyway.
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13. Did a bully
take your lunch money again?
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14. That's the third day.
You got to tell a teacher.
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15. I'm not a tattletale.
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16. Then write an anonymous letter.
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17. I'm not an anonymous Andy.
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18. So get a bigger bully
to beat the bully up.
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19. I don't want kids calling me
a cliché conflict resolution Kevin.
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20. - He has a point.
- Then you got to ride it out.
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21. Life sucks sometimes,
but it will pass.
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22. I can't believe it.
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23. This is why bullying
is getting worse and worse.
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24. We can't sit by
and let it happen anymore.
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25. Good for you.
Nice somebody has some balls.
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26. - I have balls.
- Little swishy bubble tea balls.
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27. Still balls.
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28. Why don't you talk
to your family about it?
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29. Your grandma's visiting this week.
Why don't you talk to her?
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30. My grandma?
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31. So then your cousin Elbert
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32. actually has two girls now.
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33. One is three,
and the other's about Butters' age.
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34. Speak of the devil.
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35. What happened to your eye?
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36. Grandma, can I talk to you?
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37. Sure, you come
and sit right here next to Granny.
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38. Can I maybe talk to Granny alone?
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39. Sure, I guess.
We'll go make some tea.
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40. Some tea would be lovely.
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41. I don't want you
to pick on me no more.
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42. You think you're fucking tough?
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43. You don't look fucking tough.
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44. - I don't think I'm tough.
- You're a little faggot.
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45. You got any more money?
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46. No, you took it all!
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47. Why don't you do something about it?
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48. Do something, you little bitch.
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49. You're Grandma's bitch.
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50. - Here we go.
- There is the tea.
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51. Tea for me, how lucky.
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52. And your favorite lemon bars.
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53. Goodness, what a treat this is.
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54. What is happening at your school
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55. is no different
from what's happening in the country.
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56. Bullying has become an epidemic,
I'm afraid.
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57. And we, at Bully Buckers™,
are trying to stamp it out.
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58. What is your school's policy
on bullying?
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59. We think that bullying is bad.
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60. When we see bullying in the school,
we tell the students that...
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61. that's bad.
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62. One of your students told us
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63. bullying in your school
is getting worse.
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64. - Who said?
- He didn't want that disclosed.
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65. He's a little anonymous Andy.
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66. We'd like to have an assembly
with your students this afternoon.
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67. But today is actually bad.
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68. I already have an assembly today
on positive thinking.
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69. You believe positive thinking
is really what's critical in schools?
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70. - What's wrong with you?
- I mean...
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71. Shut up!
What kind of counselor
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72. says no to an anti-bullying campaign?
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73. Bullying needs to be stopped, now.
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74. This afternoon.
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75. You may only have an Internet degree,
but why don't you start acting
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76. like a school counselor
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77. and not an uninformed
backwards little dork?
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78. Attention, students.
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79. Today, we will have an assembly
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80. on the subject of bullying.
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81. The assembly is mandatory.
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82. Better show up.
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83. Your grandma's looking for you.
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84. My grandma?
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85. She said to meet her outside
behind the school.
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86. Hamburgers!
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87. Hey, twerp!
You went narced on me.
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88. Hi, Grandma.
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89. I heard somebody brought in
an anti-bully counselor.
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90. Thought I wouldn't find out,
you little narc?
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91. I didn't narc.
It wasn't me.
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92. Look, what's this over here?
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93. It's a narc puck.
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94. This is what narcs
have to put in their mouth.
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95. It's got piss all over it.
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96. No, knock it off!
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97. No, stop it!
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98. Put it in your mouth.
Put it in your fucking mouth.
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99. Sorry.
This door isn't supposed to be locked.
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100. I'm sorry.
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101. I needed the rest room.
My grandson brought me to this one.
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102. Isn't that right?
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103. Butters, you goofball.
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104. I'll show you to the girls' room.
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105. Thank you so much.
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106. You narc again
and you're fucking dead.
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107. Fucking dead, you got it?
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108. I'm coming.
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109. What makes a bully?
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110. There are more bullies at your school
than you even think.
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111. The student who lets bullying happen
is just as bad as the bully himself.
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112. Come on out, Lorraine.
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113. I asked your schoolmate here
to help me out.
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114. Are you bullied in the school?
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115. Kids pick on you, call you names?
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116. Sometimes.
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117. What kinds of things
do they say to you?
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118. Ugly.
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119. Nerd.
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120. Do they say, "Nice pants.
Why do you wear them up to your tits?"
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121. Bullying affects everyone.
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122. Only if the entire school is united,
can bullying ever be stopped.
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123. Go, get out of here.
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124. What we, at Bucky Bailey's
Bully Buckers™, like to do
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125. is get the schools
to make an anti-bullying video.
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126. Who would like to be
the director in charge of our video?
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127. We just need one student
to lead our anti-bullying campaign.
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128. Are you all chicken?
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129. Nobody wants to be
in charge of the anti-bully video?
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130. I'll do it.
I'll be in charge.
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131. You wanna show
what a big man you are?
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132. Bullying has gotten out of hand,
and it needs to be stopped.
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133. Good for you.
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134. He's cool.
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135. You wanna know who I hate?
I hate that kid, Butters.
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136. He's a dork.
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137. Let's go pick on him.
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138. Guys, don't pick on Butters.
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139. That's not cool.
You can't do that.
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140. Bullying,
did you know that in America,
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141. over 200,000 students are afraid
to come to school because of bullying?
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142. At South Park Elementary,
we're better than that.
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143. Let's all put an end to bullying,
right now!
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144. Five, six, seven, eight.
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145. Bullying isn't cool
Bullying is lame
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146. Bullying is ugly
and has a stupid name
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147. For a healthy world,
bullying is unfit
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148. And I think I know
what we should do to it
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149. Let's all get together
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150. And make bullying kill itself
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151. Bullying is an ugly thing
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152. Let's shove its face in the dirt
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153. And make bullying kill itself
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154. Boy, you like my body
Let's play
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155. You can touch me anywhere
except my vajayjay
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156. We can make it stop
We can stop it out
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157. We can beat its ass
until it starts to cry
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158. Let's gang up on it
and tell it it smells
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159. And beat its ass worse
if it ever tells
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160. Let's all join together
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161. To try and make bullying kill itself
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162. It will be fun to see just how bad
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163. We can make it feel
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164. Make bullying kill itself
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165. My heart says yes
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166. But my vajayjay says no
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167. Trapped inside
the darkness of my mind
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168. I try to break free
The words are so unkind
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169. - Stupid.
- Ugly.
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170. - Pansy.
- Dork.
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171. You guys, can I not do this, please?
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172. I don't wanna do this.
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173. You ruined it!
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174. This is all one big long shot,
and you ruined it.
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175. But this is just gonna make
things worst for me.
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176. - You're the star of the video.
- He doesn't want to do it.
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177. You wanna be bullied
your whole life, Butters?
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178. Where are you going?
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179. Why are you doing this?
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180. To stop bullying.
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181. You're gonna stop bullying?
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182. With Cartman
singing about his vagina?
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183. It's about awareness.
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184. Don't you understand
how important this is?
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185. Bullying,
do you realize that in America,
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186. over 200,000 students
are afraid to come to school everyday...
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187. Don't act for me.
Really.
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188. Every minute I'm watching this video
become less about awareness
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189. and more about you.
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190. I'm making a difference.
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191. Just be careful you don't end up
naked and jacking it in San Diego.
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192. What the hell does that mean?
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193. Oh, Heavens to Betsy.
This is such a yummy, yummy ham.
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194. I just love your cooking.
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195. Our Linda certainly
does know her way around a pork.
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196. What's the matter?
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197. Nothing, just a little gassy.
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198. Don't fart on Grandma.
She's trying to enjoy her ham.
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199. I won't.
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200. I'll get it.
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201. Is that a new clock on the wall?
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202. Stephen and I got that last month.
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203. It's from Germany, I believe.
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204. I love the cute little canary
on the dial.
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205. And, every hour, it chimes.
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206. Your friends want to see you.
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207. We have awesome news.
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208. A Hollywood movie company
is gonna buy our bullying video.
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209. An anti-bullying video?
How adorable.
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210. And Butters is the star.
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211. They want to do a photo shoot
to make movie posters.
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212. I know, right!
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213. What's up?
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214. You went and made a video,
and sold it without letting me know.
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215. Doing the video was my idea.
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216. It's the property
of Bucky Bailey's Bully Buckers™.
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217. But I worked hard on that.
It's been stressful...
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218. It's been stressful?
What's wrong with you?
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219. Kids are getting bullied,
and with this money,
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220. Bucky Bailey's Bully Buckers™
can become the legit organization
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221. it deserves to be.
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222. You greedy, selfish, little prick!
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223. You gonna cry?
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224. Go ahead, let me see you cry.
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225. You don't have a choice, Butters.
You have to defend yourself.
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226. But violence is never the answer.
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227. But she's gonna kill you.
You know she is.
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228. You're right, I don't have a choice.
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229. Sorry, Grandma,
but you brought this on yourself.
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230. It's time you met Chaos.
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231. I've been pushed around
for the last time.
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232. Now I'm coming,
and heck's coming with me.
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233. Look, it's Captain Pussy.
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234. You can't stop me, Captain Pussy.
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235. Don't even try.
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236. Grandma?
But how...
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237. I got inspired when I came across
your gay little costume in your closet.
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238. Now come on, Captain Pussy.
Time for you to get your gummy bears.
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239. Grandma, please.
Not gummy bears.
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240. Come here!
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241. - Grandma!
- Stand up for yourself.
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242. - Fight back, be a fucking man.
- I can't.
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243. Then it looks like
you get gummy bears.
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244. Gummy bears!
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245. What's up?
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246. I'm Mick Jabs, from the movie company
that bought the bully video.
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247. Stan Marsh got you
to come talk to me?
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248. That little
cliché conflict resolution Kevin.
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249. The video was conceived,
written and directed by the students.
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250. It was my idea.
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251. I told the students to make the video,
and I produced the entire thing.
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252. I deserve to have my name on it.
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253. Only problem is
America doesn't give a shit
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254. about an old fart
with a Captain Kangaroo haircut.
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255. They wanna believe
kids did something on their own.
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256. Here's a cease-and-desist letter
from our lawyers.
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257. If you ever claim any authorship,
we'll sue you for everything you have.
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258. But this was gonna be the thing
that finally made Bully Buckers™
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259. a national organization.
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260. You gonna cry?
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261. It will look bad
with your Captain Kangaroo haircut.
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262. Hold it right there.
Cool.
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263. What are you doing to my locker?
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264. We're putting up a movie poster.
The premiere's tomorrow.
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265. But since you walked out,
you don't get to come.
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266. I don't wanna go
to your stupid movie premiere.
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267. And don't tape that to my locker!
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268. Oh, God.
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269. What's up?
Why trash-talk our theatrical release?
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270. You really think
this is good for Butters?
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271. To have his face put all over signs
as the poster child for bullying?
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272. - Butters is fine with it.
- Butters is ten.
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273. He doesn't know what's best for him,
and neither do you.
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274. That's enough.
I'm not gonna be bullied by you.
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275. You were waiting for me
in the bathroom.
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276. This is all getting way too big.
Tell the studio you aren't selling.
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277. This video can change
how people think about bullying.
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278. It needs to be seen by everybody.
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279. If it needs to be seen by everybody,
why not put it on the Internet for free?
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280. - What's the question again?
- If you really think
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281. every kid in America
should see your anti-bullying movie,
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282. why don't you put it
on the Internet for free?
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283. - I'm going to the bathroom.
- Fine.
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284. But when you're naked and jacking it
in San Diego, don't ask me for help.
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285. Why does he keep saying that?
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286. We all know that bullying
has become an epidemic.
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287. Like AIDS, bullying is escalating,
and it spreads mostly by penises.
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288. But a few kids
are trying to make a difference
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289. with a video
to make bullying kill itself.
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290. I'm joined by the director
and the main subject of the film.
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291. Congratulations on your success.
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292. I was tired of seeing kids
getting pushed around
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293. and had to do something.
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294. And you, what would you like to say
to your bully out there?
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295. Nothing.
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296. This is for everyone
who's been a victim.
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297. What do you want to say to bullies
all across America?
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298. Go ahead, say it.
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299. Stop trying to make me say things
on your TV show.
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300. Do you hear that?
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301. Stop making kids say things
on your TV shows.
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302. - What else do you wanna say?
- Leave me alone.
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303. Leave him alone.
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304. - But that doesn't work.
- No, it doesn't.
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305. Tell us in graphic detail
what the bully does for you.
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306. - Stop it!
- This is for America.
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307. Do you realize that in America,
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308. over 200,000 students are afraid
to go to school because of bullying?
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309. Don't you care?
You better care.
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310. What the hell were you thinking?
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311. Everyone just saw that the bully victim
in your movie is a violent psychopath.
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312. - I didn't know.
- This could kill our box office.
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313. People are gonna come after us
saying we didn't check our facts.
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314. I didn't beat up Dr. Oz.
Don't be mad at me.
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315. It's your fucking movie!
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316. Now, I have to work overtime
with marketing
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317. to make sure people
still sympathize with our victim.
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318. Get the fuck out of here.
I got to go to the bathroom.
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319. My child, have you ever heard
of a place called hell?
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320. It's eternal fire,
and it's gonna hurt real bad.
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321. What are you gonna do, cry now?
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322. Grandma, I did it.
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323. I finally stood up for myself.
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324. I got real mean,
and I beat the snot out of Dr. Oz.
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325. I can't lie, it felt kind of good,
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326. at first.
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327. But since then,
I have this dark empty feeling.
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328. Then I realized
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329. that's how you must feel,
all the time.
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330. Poor old Grandma.
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331. I've been given lots of advice
on how to deal with you.
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332. Stand up to you, tell on you...
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333. But I realized
there are people like you out there,
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334. all over the place.
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335. When you're a kid,
things seem like they'll last forever,
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336. but they won't.
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337. Life changes.
You won't always be around.
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338. Someday, you're gonna die.
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339. Someday pretty soon.
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340. And when you're laying
in that hospital bed,
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341. with tubes up your nose,
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342. and that little pan
under your butt to pee in,
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343. I'll come visit you.
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344. I'll come just to show you
I'm alive and happy.
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345. And you'll die,
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346. being nothing but you.
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347. Good night.
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348. Come on.
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349. - What's going on?
- You didn't hear?
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350. Now that America
knows Butters is a psychopath,
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351. they say you made a bullcrap video.
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352. - What did the studio say about it?
- The studio backed out.
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353. The producer had a change of heart.
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354. You made us
look like uncaring idiots.
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355. How was I supposed to know
Butters was a psychopath?
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356. Everyone loved me sixteen hours ago.
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357. ABC called, and Dr. Oz is suing you
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358. and our entire school.
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359. What are you gonna do?
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360. There's only one thing left
for me to do.
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361. I'm gonna jack it
where the sun always shines
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362. Been spreading the word,
and now I need to ease my mind
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363. Been planting them apple seeds,
and while the apples grow
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364. I'm gonna go out
jacking it in San Diego
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365. Jacking it, jacking it,
jackety-jack
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366. Spanking it, jacking it,
spankety-smack
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367. I don't need no shirt, no
Gonna to take them pants right off
Copy !req
368. On such a bright day,
who needs underwear or socks
Copy !req
369. Been around God's country,
and there's one thing I know
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370. There's no better place
for jacking it than San Diego
Copy !req
371. Jack it, jack it,
jackety-jack
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372. Spanking it, spanking it,
smackety-smack
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373. Jacking it, jacking it,
jackety-jack
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374. Jacking for the Lord!
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375. Come to San Diego.
There's so much to see.
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376. From the waters of Mission Bay
to the warm tortillas of Old Town.
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377. And after a day of sightseeing,
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378. why not try spanking it
in one of our charming city streets?
Copy !req
379. San Diego.
Come, take a load off.
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380. Jacking it, jacking it,
jackety-jack
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381. Spanking it, spanking it,
smackety-smack
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382. Whacking it, whacking it,
whackety-whack
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383. Spanking it, jerking it,
smackety-smack
Copy !req
384. The cars are passing me by
They honk and say hello
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385. That guy's jacking it!
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386. From his window,
there's a guy shooting video
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387. And if the good Lord Jesus
comes knocking on my door
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388. Just tell him
that I'm jacking it in San Diego
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389. Jacking it, jacking it,
jackety-jack
Copy !req
390. Spanking it, spanking it,
smackety-smack
Copy !req
391. Jacking it Jack, jacking it Jack
Whack, whacking it, whacking it
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