1. Yes, yes, this whole coming weekCopy !req
2. is the Jewish holiday of passover!Copy !req
3. Yes, it's all about how MosesCopy !req
4. led the hebrews out of Egypt.Copy !req
5. Very good!Copy !req
6. So on Friday, all Jewish peopleCopy !req
7. will celebrate passover with a seder dinner.Copy !req
8. Because God commanded the JewsCopy !req
9. to only eat bread thatCopy !req
10. hasn't been given yeast to rise.Copy !req
11. Wow, that's so cool.Copy !req
12. And so then passover lasts seven days?Copy !req
13. Yes, yes, one week from seder dinner on FridayCopy !req
14. to the next Friday...Copy !req
15. Interesting, and why is it called
passover again?Copy !req
16. Well, because in ancient EgyptCopy !req
17. God passed over the housesCopy !req
18. marked with the blood of a lamb.Copy !req
19. So interesting, wow...Copy !req
20. Get outta here!Copy !req
21. Oh, hey, Kyle.Copy !req
22. Get outta here!Copy !req
23. Well, I better be going.Copy !req
24. Thanks so much Ms. Broflovski, I learned a ton.Copy !req
25. Well, you're very welcome.Copy !req
26. What are you gonna do?Copy !req
27. Isn't it possible I just want toCopy !req
28. learn more aut the Jewish faith?Copy !req
29. No.Copy !req
30. Alright Kyle, listen-Copy !req
31. legends tell of a horrific fourCopy !req
32. legged creature from MexicoCopy !req
33. that sucks the blood of goatsCopy !req
34. and it might have just spotted in South Park.Copy !req
35. What does that have to do with passover?Copy !req
36. All I can promise you isCopy !req
37. that this is gonna be the most memorable
passover ever.Copy !req
38. Cartman's passover holiday special.Copy !req
39. Starring...Copy !req
40. The Jewpacabra!Copy !req
41. Alright, next please.Copy !req
42. This is gonna be so much fun!Copy !req
43. Yeah, I can't wait for Sunday.Copy !req
44. Woohoo. Me too!Copy !req
45. Yeah.. Yeah should be a real blast.Copy !req
46. I just hope Jewpacabra doesn't show up...Copy !req
47. That's all.Copy !req
48. Jewpa-what?Copy !req
49. Jewpaca- look, it's nothing.Copy !req
50. Forget I said anything.Copy !req
51. Okay.Copy !req
52. So anyways, are they saying
what time the event starts?Copy !req
53. Okay, look - a lot of peopleCopy !req
54. claim that on passover,Copy !req
55. a blood sucking creature called
the Jewpacabra comes outCopy !req
56. and preys on children.Copy !req
57. This year passover happens to be
the same week as easter.Copy !req
58. You mean it's like - like a monster?Copy !req
59. It's just a legend, alright?Copy !req
60. But people all over town haveCopy !req
61. started reported strange things.Copy !req
62. Knocked over trash cans... weird howls...Copy !req
63. Yeah, huh, token!Copy !req
64. Don't think it won't come afterCopy !req
65. you just because you're black!Copy !req
66. U guys, check this out!Copy !req
67. Alright, alright, stay back -Copy !req
68. stay back.Copy !req
69. It definitely looks like a Jewpacabra attackCopy !req
70. but it's hard to tell.Copy !req
71. Alright guys, we're gonna need
some video cameras.Copy !req
72. We gotta go out at nightCopy !req
73. and try to get proof of this thing.Copy !req
74. Alright, alright!Copy !req
75. Knock it off!Copy !req
76. Stop spreading lies!Copy !req
77. I'm trying to protect people!Copy !req
78. And why are you so quick to tryCopy !req
79. and cover up Jewpacabra's existence?Copy !req
80. I looked on the known species webpageCopy !req
81. there's no animal calledCopy !req
82. a 'Jewpacabra' mentioned anywhere.Copy !req
83. Well, neither is bigfoot Kyle,Copy !req
84. but there are a lot of peopleCopy !req
85. who say they have spotted a Sasquatch.Copy !req
86. If someone says they saw a Sasquatch,Copy !req
87. they are either lyingCopy !req
88. or they are stupid.Copy !req
89. Now stop lying about a JewpacabraCopy !req
90. before stupid people start believing you!Copy !req
91. Lllloooo... loooo looo...Copy !req
92. N-no such thing as J-Jewpacabra.Copy !req
93. People made it up.Copy !req
94. It's — that's okay.Copy !req
95. Even if there was a J-JewpacabraCopy !req
96. it couldn't get in my r-room anyways...Copy !req
97. Butters.Copy !req
98. Come on, Butters, you and me areCopy !req
99. gonna try to catch Jewpacabra on camera.Copy !req
100. No, it's a school night!Copy !req
101. Butters, do you know how manyCopy !req
102. times Jewpacabra has been shot on video?Copy !req
103. Zeee-ro!Copy !req
104. I can't do this alone, please...Copy !req
105. Help me prove to the rest of the world
Jewpacabra is real.Copy !req
106. Look at these dense trees and brush,Copy !req
107. oh, yeah, this is exactly the kind of forestCopy !req
108. Jewpacabra likes to hide in.Copy !req
109. You think Jewpacabra is here?Copy !req
110. I'm pretty sure Jewpacabra was here...Copy !req
111. Oh good... maybe we scared it offCopy !req
112. You can't scare a Jewpacabra, Butters.Copy !req
113. Don't forget we're dealing withCopy !req
114. a creature that drinks blood,Copy !req
115. hides in the night andCopy !req
116. has absolutely no belief
in the divinity of Christ.Copy !req
117. Did you hear that?Copy !req
118. I'm going to try a
Jewpacabra mating call now...Copy !req
119. No Christ!Copy !req
120. No Christ!Copy !req
121. I'm really not buying this
whole Christ thing.Copy !req
122. he's here somewhere.Copy !req
123. Oh God, I'm scared.Copy !req
124. Jesus is a lie!Copy !req
125. Eric, stop it!Copy !req
126. Help me call it out Butters.Copy !req
127. I'm not saying Jesus is a lie!Copy !req
128. Butters, do you wanna catchCopy !req
129. Jewpacabra on camerar not?Copy !req
130. There is no Christ.Copy !req
131. Jesus is a lie.Copy !req
132. No way Jesus was son of God, huh Butters.Copy !req
133. Nope. I don't think...Copy !req
134. Christ has any basis in reality.Copy !req
135. You hear that?Copy !req
136. Oh, hamburgers...Copy !req
137. We started Sooper Foods to giveCopy !req
138. people a place to buy groceries
that was fun and safe.Copy !req
139. We are not canceling our easter egg huntCopy !req
140. because of some wild story!Copy !req
141. I didn't think you would believe me.Copy !req
142. And that why last night I tookCopy !req
143. it upon myself to go out
and try to capture it on video.Copy !req
144. What I'm about to show youCopy !req
145. is the first video ever shot of a Jewpacabra.Copy !req
146. And you're the first to see it.Copy !req
147. This is just after 8 p.m.Copy !req
148. First we heard rustling in the bushes.Copy !req
149. Then a strange,
animal-like scurrying sound.Copy !req
150. That's when we saw, this.Copy !req
151. Kay wait for it, wait for it,Copy !req
152. wait for it... wait for it...Copy !req
153. Wait for it... right there!Copy !req
154. Did you see the Jewpacabra?Copy !req
155. I know, it's so shocking itCopy !req
156. takes a minute for your brain toCopy !req
157. process what it's seeing.Copy !req
158. Watch again.Copy !req
159. Wait for it... wait... there!Copy !req
160. Jewpacabra.Copy !req
161. There's a Jewpacabra in South Park...Copy !req
162. God help us.Copy !req
163. That wasn't a dog?Copy !req
164. It was no dog.Copy !req
165. I was there, I'n telling you-Copy !req
166. this thing had no idea thatCopy !req
167. Jesus Christ had died for our sins.Copy !req
168. What?Copy !req
169. I can try to catch it,Copy !req
170. But I'm going to need all
the resources you've got.Copy !req
171. If this thing isn't contained,Copy !req
172. your easter egg hunt is going to be
a bloodbath.Copy !req
173. Mr. Billings?Copy !req
174. There's two things that separate Sooper FoodsCopy !req
175. from all the other grocery stores:
Fun and safety.Copy !req
176. What do you think, Peters?Copy !req
177. What are the chances thatCopy !req
178. this 'Jewpacabra' is real?Copy !req
179. I'm estimating somewhere around...Copy !req
180. Point zero zero zero zero zeroCopy !req
181. zero zero zero one percent.Copy !req
182. We can't afford to take that chance...Copy !req
183. Let's get this kid whatever he needs.Copy !req
184. So where are we heading first?Copy !req
185. We need to get to the city of Nassau
in the Bahamas.Copy !req
186. Here.Copy !req
187. The Bahamas?Copy !req
188. That's right.Copy !req
189. There's a resort near thereCopy !req
190. called 'The Atlantis hotel and casino'.Copy !req
191. They have a water slide thereCopy !req
192. that goes through a shark tank.Copy !req
193. Weeeeeeeeeee!Copy !req
194. Oh yesss!Copy !req
195. Oolll!Copy !req
196. Check it out!Copy !req
197. Where to now?Copy !req
198. Now we head back to Colorado,Copy !req
199. here.Copy !req
200. We need to get my video ofCopy !req
201. the Jewpacabra into
the hands of professionalsCopy !req
202. who can analyze it.Copy !req
203. Would you stop scaring everyoneCopy !req
204. with your dumb ass myth!Copy !req
205. People thought Atlantis was a myth, Kyle,Copy !req
206. but I was just there.Copy !req
207. I've explored the depths of AtlantisCopy !req
208. and now I'm about to prove
a new species existsCopy !req
209. I'm a little James Cameron.Copy !req
210. These people aren't going to prove anything.Copy !req
211. To believe any of thisCopy !req
212. you either have to be a liar, or stupid.Copy !req
213. These are professional peopleCopy !req
214. who go around tracking Sasquatches, Kyle!Copy !req
215. They aren't liars, and they aren't stupid!Copy !req
216. Look at its trajectory -Copy !req
217. it heads directly to the right.Copy !req
218. It can't be human it's too low to the ground.Copy !req
219. What do you think, Bobo?Copy !req
220. Bobo think scary!Copy !req
221. It's definitely something.Copy !req
222. I'm thinking a Sasquatch.Copy !req
223. It's not big enough to be a Squatch.Copy !req
224. So it's a baby Squatch?Copy !req
225. That's what I'm thinking.Copy !req
226. I've already done my research boys.Copy !req
227. What you're looking at thereCopy !req
228. is a Jewpacabra.Copy !req
229. Jewpacabra?Copy !req
230. It's like a Sasquatch, only more elusive,Copy !req
231. more ferocious and a little more greedy.Copy !req
232. Ohhh, Jewpacabra that sounds scary!Copy !req
233. But it makes total sense.Copy !req
234. If we rule out a human and a baby Sasquatch,Copy !req
235. Jewpacabra is all we really have left.Copy !req
236. Well, I guess that's it.Copy !req
237. You're going to have to only allow meCopy !req
238. into the easter egg hunt, sir.Copy !req
239. I'm the only one qualified.Copy !req
240. Aw, the kids will be so disappointed...Copy !req
241. Whoa look at this!Copy !req
242. I just did the heatie thermal thingie to the video!Copy !req
243. It's all orangie!Copy !req
244. But it's supposed to be all yellow-y.Copy !req
245. My God!Copy !req
246. This really is proof of a Jewpacabra!Copy !req
247. What do you mean.Copy !req
248. We've never seen this before!Copy !req
249. It really is true!Copy !req
250. Well, I mean it— could have just been a dog.Copy !req
251. No it's impossible.Copy !req
252. Look at the zoomy in:Copy !req
253. If I drop image of a dog next to it...Copy !req
254. That thing is way to big to be a dog.Copy !req
255. And check out the thermals coming off of it.Copy !req
256. That's the thermals -
they make a proof and the thermals!Copy !req
257. That's right, Bobo.Copy !req
258. Whatever this thing is
it's mean and angry as hell.Copy !req
259. Well, come on guys,
it's probably a JewpacabraCopy !req
260. but this isn't definitive.Copy !req
261. I'll tell you one thing, kid,Copy !req
262. you're pretty braaave.Copy !req
263. Why.Copy !req
264. Cuz you took the video of this thing.Copy !req
265. It's not gonna like that.Copy !req
266. If it is a Jewpacabra...Copy !req
267. He's gonna be coming after you.Copy !req
268. There's... no way...Copy !req
269. No way Jewpacabra is real...Copy !req
270. Those cryptozoologists don'tCopy !req
271. know what they're talking about.Copy !req
272. They just... they just gave meCopy !req
273. a case of the Hebrew jeebies that's all...Copy !req
274. Hey.Copy !req
275. Jewpacabra can't be real, right?Copy !req
276. Tell me again why it can't be real?Copy !req
277. I mean, it's impossible thatCopy !req
278. something I made up could turn out
to actually exist, huh, Kyle?Copy !req
279. What are you doing?Copy !req
280. Okay, okay, even if there was a Jewpacabra,Copy !req
281. it wouldn't know I was the one
who got video of it, huh?Copy !req
282. How could it know that?Copy !req
283. It couldn't know that. Right?Copy !req
284. Kyle.Copy !req
285. Jesus loves me this I know...Copy !req
286. Cuz Republicans tell me so...Copy !req
287. Little ones God will protect.Copy !req
288. Cuz letting kids be harmed is child neglect...Copy !req
289. Everything still clear out there?Copy !req
290. Guys?Copy !req
291. It's all quiet out front, Eric.Copy !req
292. Well, check everywhere!Copy !req
293. I'm not paying you guys each twenty bucks
to scratch your buttholes!Copy !req
294. He says he's not payin' us to
scratch our buttholes...Copy !req
295. What? What was that? Butters? Token?Copy !req
296. Oh Jesus Christ!Copy !req
297. You guys?Copy !req
298. Aghgh!Copy !req
299. You guys?Copy !req
300. Guys!Copy !req
301. Hey, Eric.Copy !req
302. It's trying to get in!Copy !req
303. Where the hell are you guys?Copy !req
304. Well, we got scared so we're next door at Wingstreet.Copy !req
305. Wingstreet?Copy !req
306. Yeah, well it was the closest place to hide.Copy !req
307. Dude, I want wings!Copy !req
308. Ahghgh!Copy !req
309. Oh Jesus- it's only you!Copy !req
310. Alright, grab him.Copy !req
311. You say the Jewpacabra hunts
for anything easterCopy !req
312. - and now it's looking for you...Copy !req
313. Get me outta here!Copy !req
314. Please!Copy !req
315. Helllppp!Copy !req
316. Look, we're sorry.Copy !req
317. But if it's you that Jewpacabra wants,Copy !req
318. we don't have a choice.Copy !req
319. Oh God, it's gonna kill me!Copy !req
320. What the—?Copy !req
321. Just a little blood to try and draw it out.Copy !req
322. We just can't risk the creature
showing up tomorrow.Copy !req
323. Our entire business is based on
fun and safety.Copy !req
324. This isn't safe or fun!Copy !req
325. Maybe it won't even show up.Copy !req
326. Maybe we'll all make it out of this okay.Copy !req
327. Oh ****, we better get out of here.Copy !req
328. No!Copy !req
329. Come back!Copy !req
330. Come back please!Copy !req
331. This isn't right!Copy !req
332. Hello young man.Copy !req
333. Let me start off by sayingCopy !req
334. Sooper Foods is absolutely not
an anti-semitic company.Copy !req
335. But... if your people do have
a monster creatureCopy !req
336. that feeds on easter children
we just wanted to let you knowCopy !req
337. there is a sacrifice for it in the parkCopy !req
338. that is totally fun and safe to eat.Copy !req
339. Thank you!Copy !req
340. Kyle!Copy !req
341. hey, Kyle!Copy !req
342. I know what you're thinking, Kyle.Copy !req
343. That, like, this is some kind of
fitting comeuppance.Copy !req
344. Admit you're lying, and I'll let you go.Copy !req
345. Oh, of course I was lying, Kyle.Copy !req
346. There's no Jewpacabra.Copy !req
347. Now, please, Kyle, it's easter Eve!Copy !req
348. And if Jewpacabra smells this blood,
I am in a heeb o' trouble!Copy !req
349. No Kyle! No wait!Copy !req
350. I'm sorry I couldn't help it!Copy !req
351. Kyle?Copy !req
352. Please I'll give you money!Copy !req
353. I have lots of money!Copy !req
354. Oh God, what am I doing?Copy !req
355. I mean I don't have any money!Copy !req
356. I'm totally broke!Copy !req
357. Oh God- I am in a heeb of trouble...Copy !req
358. It's so cool that...Copy !req
359. Even though I'm Christian
I celebrate passover too!Copy !req
360. Yup.Copy !req
361. I think both holidays are awesome...Copy !req
362. I really sympathize with those
Jews in ancient Egypt!Copy !req
363. I really do!Copy !req
364. What'dya think, Bobo?Copy !req
365. No doubt about it!Copy !req
366. It's a three foot tall bunny-man!Copy !req
367. I told you!Copy !req
368. Bunny people must be a throwback
to paleolithardic times!Copy !req
369. Shoot it Bobo!Copy !req
370. Bobo shoot it!Copy !req
371. Bobo? Bobo no!Copy !req
372. Wha-.?Copy !req
373. Bobo got it!Copy !req
374. Bobo got the bunnyman!Copy !req
375. Good shot, Bobo!Copy !req
376. Now what do we do?Copy !req
377. I know!Copy !req
378. Let's go get a show about it on
Animal Planet!Copy !req
379. Good idea.Copy !req
380. Wait wait wait wait.Copy !req
381. We're gonna need to take the evidence.Copy !req
382. All right.Copy !req
383. I got the evidence right here.Copy !req
384. The dart gun I shot the bunnyman with.Copy !req
385. All right!Copy !req
386. Come on, let's go!Copy !req
387. Ugh... what... where...Copy !req
388. Ugh... what...?Copy !req
389. What's going on?Copy !req
390. The plagues!Copy !req
391. The plagues are upon us!Copy !req
392. Run!Copy !req
393. It's raining frogggggsss!Copy !req
394. Kyle! Kyle my Hebrew friend!Copy !req
395. Did you see that it's raining frogs?Copy !req
396. Yes. It's because the pharaoh won't give
the hebrews what we want!Copy !req
397. God is angry.Copy !req
398. So God makes it rain frogs?Copy !req
399. That just seems kind of mean to frogs, Kyle.Copy !req
400. That's how God is!Copy !req
401. And if pharaoh doesn't give us what we want,Copy !req
402. next he's gonna kill all
Egyptian first born boys!Copy !req
403. Okay, look,Copy !req
404. I'll talk to the pharaoh and see
if he'll change his mind.Copy !req
405. It doesn't matter.Copy !req
406. Because God is going to harden
the pharaoh's heart!Copy !req
407. What does that mean?Copy !req
408. It means Jehovah is going to
use his powersCopy !req
409. to keep the pharaoh from letting us go.Copy !req
410. Well that doesn't seem very fair, Kyle.Copy !req
411. I mean, if God is going to make pharaoh say no,Copy !req
412. then why would he punish him for saying no?Copy !req
413. That's just how God is.Copy !req
414. You're wrong, Kyle!Copy !req
415. God is not a dick!Copy !req
416. Daaad, when's it gonna stop raining frogs.Copy !req
417. It'll be okay, my son. The weather will clear.Copy !req
418. But my friend Kyle, he says thatCopy !req
419. the reason we've had all
these plagues and stuff isCopy !req
420. because you won't let all the Jews leave.Copy !req
421. It's a complicated political issue, my son.Copy !req
422. An economic social issue that needs time.Copy !req
423. We can't let them leave
but is it really all that different fromCopy !req
424. when the north didn't let
the confederate states leave the U.S.A?Copy !req
425. Wow, that makes sense...Copy !req
426. Don't think anyone can deny that...Copy !req
427. Poor frogs... I feel so bad for them...Copy !req
428. But dad, my friend Kyle saysCopy !req
429. that if we don't do whatever
the Hebrews want us to do,Copy !req
430. God is gonna kill little Egyptian boys.Copy !req
431. Hoh, I don't think God would do
such a thing, little one.Copy !req
432. No matter what happens,Copy !req
433. We can't let ourselves believe in
the Hebrew version of God.Copy !req
434. We believe in a just Lord who would
never murder innocent children.Copy !req
435. I love you, dad.Copy !req
436. And I love you son.Copy !req
437. And our love grows...Copy !req
438. And our love grows-Copy !req
439. and our love grows,Copy !req
440. like the mighty river of the Nile-Copy !req
441. river of the Nile... see it flow-Copy !req
442. we'll never be aparrrrt...Copy !req
443. Have no fear, for God is near,Copy !req
444. and God loves all his children—Copy !req
445. Nooooooooo!Copy !req
446. Kyle, why?Copy !req
447. What are you doing?Copy !req
448. This is what God told us to do!Copy !req
449. No, Kyle! I don't believe you!Copy !req
450. You'll see!Copy !req
451. Nooooooo!Copy !req
452. What's happening to us?Copy !req
453. Nooooo!Copy !req
454. Mom!Copy !req
455. Don't let God kill me!Copy !req
456. No! Nooo!Copy !req
457. Care for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?Copy !req
458. Nooo! The bread's all flat!Copy !req
459. Noooo!Copy !req
460. Noooo!Copy !req
461. Son! We were wrong!Copy !req
462. I was wrong!Copy !req
463. We were wrong!Copy !req
464. I'm sorry God I'll be Jewish I promise!Copy !req
465. Please don't kill me!
Don't kill me! Noooooo!Copy !req
466. Noooo! Noooo!
The bread is all flat! Nooooo!Copy !req
467. Nooo... no...Copy !req
468. There are two things people think about
when they are grocery shopping:Copy !req
469. Fun and Safety.Copy !req
470. On this beautiful easter morning,Copy !req
471. we are thrilled to give back to
the people of South ParkCopy !req
472. who for the third year in a row
have made our grocery store number...Copy !req
473. 4 in fun and number 6 in safety.Copy !req
474. Let the hunt begin.Copy !req
475. I'm alive!Copy !req
476. I'm alive, you guys.Copy !req
477. I don't know how...Copy !req
478. but I'm alive!Copy !req
479. Can you believe it. It's a miracle.Copy !req
480. Listen everybody,Copy !req
481. last night I almost died.Copy !req
482. But then a pass of a miracle happened.Copy !req
483. The Jewpacabra passed me over,Copy !req
484. and by the power of Jehovah I somehow,Copy !req
485. woke up safely in my bed.Copy !req
486. I learnt a big lesson.Copy !req
487. It's wrong, guys.Copy !req
488. Christ didn't die for our sins
and God is angry.Copy !req
489. It's time for us all to stop this
easter ridiculousness,Copy !req
490. accept Jehovah as our God and deny Christ.Copy !req
491. Oh, stop trying to ruin easter, You!Copy !req
492. Yeah!Copy !req
493. Hey guys, listen!Copy !req
494. Huh... I finally know how you feel, Kyle.Copy !req
495. Know your religion is right
but being laughed up by everyone else.Copy !req
496. It's so hard for us Jews.Copy !req
497. But I guess we just have to let stupid people
believe what they are gonna believe.Copy !req
498. Yeah.Copy !req
499. I know what you're thinking Kyle.Copy !req
500. But I really do believe in Judaism now.Copy !req
501. I'm not lying.Copy !req
502. I know, you're not.Copy !req
503. Kewl, thanks Kyle.Copy !req
504. Oh, and Kyle...Copy !req
505. Happy passover!Copy !req
506. Happy passover, Cartman!Copy !req