1. - And so then,
and so then it turns outCopy !req
2. the Terminator secretly
had a kid ten years ago,Copy !req
3. meaning Terminator could be
his own father.Copy !req
4. And then Skeletor gets angry
and wants to fight him!Copy !req
5. - No, dude, that's not
the trailer for Terminator 5.Copy !req
6. That really happened.Copy !req
7. - Skeletor's real?Copy !req
8. - No, dude,
that's not Skeletor.Copy !req
9. That's Terminator's wife.Copy !req
10. - Skeletor's a lady?Copy !req
11. - God damn it!Copy !req
12. Who the fuck
who do they think they are?Copy !req
13. This is the last
fucking straw!Copy !req
14. I am going to fucking
kill everybody!Copy !req
15. - Hey, Eric.Copy !req
16. - I am so sick
of this fucking school!Copy !req
17. - Whoa!Copy !req
18. - This stupid school
and its stupid principalCopy !req
19. have gone too far this time!Copy !req
20. - You get in trouble again,
Cartman?Copy !req
21. - No! I didn't do
a damn thing.Copy !req
22. Nothing!Copy !req
23. I told you, this school
is a den of snakes!Copy !req
24. You're not gonna believe what
they did this time, you guys.Copy !req
25. - Dude, we're just
trying to eat.Copy !req
26. - Oh, you think
I'm overreacting again, huh?Copy !req
27. No, not this time!Copy !req
28. Argh!Copy !req
29. The school has gone too far,Copy !req
30. and it affects
each and every one of you!Copy !req
31. You remember the school physical
we all took last week?Copy !req
32. - Yeah.Copy !req
33. - Well, the school put
the sizes of all our penisesCopy !req
34. up on a big chart
in the school hallway!Copy !req
35. - No, they didn't.Copy !req
36. - Yeah,
they fucking did, Kyle!Copy !req
37. - Dude, why would
the school put upCopy !req
38. the sizes of our wieners?Copy !req
39. - Because they don't
fucking care!Copy !req
40. I've told you this!Copy !req
41. They don't give
a shit about the students,Copy !req
42. and they live to make us
miserable!Copy !req
43. - That doesn't make any sense.Copy !req
44. - Go look for yourselves!Copy !req
45. There, you see?Copy !req
46. Can you fucking believe it?Copy !req
47. - Is that really
all our wiener sizes?Copy !req
48. - Yeah, dude, look at it!Copy !req
49. It says right there.
Eric Cartman, 1.2 inches.Copy !req
50. Why would they tell
everybody that?Copy !req
51. They wanna measure my wiener?
Fine!Copy !req
52. But don't put me on blast!Copy !req
53. - Craig Tucker,
2.4 inches.Copy !req
54. Yeah, that's about right.Copy !req
55. - Butters Stotch, 2.2 inches.
Is that good?Copy !req
56. - How big do they say
mine is?Copy !req
57. - I told you the students
would be interestedCopy !req
58. in how much they grew
since their last physical.Copy !req
59. - You're right.Copy !req
60. They really seem
into it, mkay.Copy !req
61. - Wait, it says mine's
only 2.1 inches.Copy !req
62. That doesn't seem right.Copy !req
63. - No shit, Sherlock!Copy !req
64. My dick isn't
1.2 inches either.Copy !req
65. It isn't!Copy !req
66. This is another conspiracy
by the school faculty!Copy !req
67. - A conspiracy?Copy !req
68. - They're trying to stir up
some big thing again,Copy !req
69. get all the girls all
heated up and freaking outCopy !req
70. over which boy has
the biggest schlong!Copy !req
71. This has to be dealt with!Copy !req
72. - Well, everyone's
already seen it.Copy !req
73. Nothing we can do
about it now.Copy !req
74. - Oh, there's something
we can do about it, all right.Copy !req
75. If they're gonna
put us on blast,Copy !req
76. they are at least gonna
get the numbers right.Copy !req
77. We are going to re-measure!Copy !req
78. - All right.
Clyde Donovan, 2.3 inches.Copy !req
79. You see, witnesses?Copy !req
80. That's.2 inches moreCopy !req
81. than what the school said.Copy !req
82. - All right.
- Nice one, Clyde.Copy !req
83. All right, next.Copy !req
84. Whip it out, Butters.Copy !req
85. - Oh, it's a little
chilly in here.Copy !req
86. - All right, Butters,Copy !req
87. let's see what you got
going on down there.Copy !req
88. - Hey, wait, the cold
is makin' it shrink some.Copy !req
89. Where you goin',
little feller?Copy !req
90. - Butters, I don't have time
for this.Copy !req
91. I can't wait if your wiener
is pullin' a scared turtle.Copy !req
92. - Hang on,
he's comin' back out.Copy !req
93. There he is!Copy !req
94. Who's a little guy?Copy !req
95. - All right, Butters,
looks like we have 2 point-Copy !req
96. Wow. 2.4 inches.
Really nice, Butters.Copy !req
97. - I'm hung like a horse!Copy !req
98. - All right,
that's everybody!Copy !req
99. Let's go post these numbers!Copy !req
100. What?Copy !req
101. - Didn't you forget
something?Copy !req
102. - What, Kyle?Copy !req
103. - You measured everyone's
wiener except for yours.Copy !req
104. - I measured mine
this morning.Copy !req
105. See?
It's right here at the top.Copy !req
106. - 13.7 inches?Copy !req
107. - Yeah, it's pretty good.Copy !req
108. - Your wiener
is not 13 inches long!Copy !req
109. - You made everyone else get
measured with witnesses.Copy !req
110. You have to too.Copy !req
111. - Well, what are you guys
gonna do?Copy !req
112. Use a tape measure and measure
my penis yourselves?Copy !req
113. Are you homos?Copy !req
114. - You just did that
to everybody in class!Copy !req
115. - Okay! Fine! Whatever!
Go ahead!Copy !req
116. - Yeah, that's good.Copy !req
117. A little higher
on Craig's side.Copy !req
118. Yeah.Copy !req
119. - Actual boys' penis sizes?
- Gross!Copy !req
120. - Yeah, you see?Copy !req
121. My wiener isn't 1.2 inches.
It's 1.4!Copy !req
122. - What, red?Copy !req
123. You all freakin' out
'cause my wiener is smallerCopy !req
124. than the other guys'?Copy !req
125. I don't care!Copy !req
126. Clearly, I'm very happy
with the size of my wiener,Copy !req
127. or else, why would I have called
for a new measurementCopy !req
128. and for this poster
to be put up at all?Copy !req
129. Don't forget
that this was all my idea!Copy !req
130. - Eric Cartman
to the principal's officeCopy !req
131. immediately!Copy !req
132. - Oh, God damn it!Copy !req
133. Let me guess.
I'm in trouble again.Copy !req
134. - You're darn right, Eric.
- For what?Copy !req
135. - Why did you measure all
the boy students' penis sizesCopy !req
136. and put the results
on the school bulletin board?Copy !req
137. - Why did you measure
our penis sizesCopy !req
138. and put the results
on the school bulletin board?Copy !req
139. - What?Copy !req
140. - I don't care
if Obama is president!Copy !req
141. You don't go around putting
little boys on blast,Copy !req
142. telling the whole world
the lengths of their dicks!Copy !req
143. - Wait.Copy !req
144. Are you talking
about the numbersCopy !req
145. we published Tuesday
from the physicals?Copy !req
146. - You're damn right!
1.2 inches.Copy !req
147. I'll have you know
that my penisCopy !req
148. is a respectable 1.4 inches!Copy !req
149. Maybe it's still the smallest
in the school,Copy !req
150. but it's.2 inches bigger
than you said!Copy !req
151. - The numbers we put up
were height differentials!Copy !req
152. - What?Copy !req
153. - We thought
it would be fun to put upCopy !req
154. how much each student
has grown in heightCopy !req
155. since their physical
last year.Copy !req
156. You grew 1.2 inches.Copy !req
157. - Those weren't
our dick sizes?Copy !req
158. - Why would we publish
the lengthCopy !req
159. of our students'
private parts?Copy !req
160. - I don't know!
Why would you?Copy !req
161. - We didn't!Copy !req
162. - Aw, crap!Copy !req
163. You mean everyone knows
my wiener is smallerCopy !req
164. than everyone else's
because of me?Copy !req
165. - This is exactly
the kind of thingCopy !req
166. we are always
talking about, Eric.Copy !req
167. You get angry about something,
you don't think,Copy !req
168. and you cause bad things
to happen.Copy !req
169. This time, you've done it
to yourself.Copy !req
170. - Oh, God.Copy !req
171. Why couldn't I have just taken
a minute to think about it?Copy !req
172. - Because you have
an anger problem, Eric.Copy !req
173. - Fuck you!
No, I don't!Copy !req
174. - What we need
to figure out here is,Copy !req
175. are we dealing with maybe
a little bipolarism,Copy !req
176. some rage addiction.Copy !req
177. It could be a lot of things.Copy !req
178. - My little sunshine
has a temper sometimes,Copy !req
179. but he's not all bad.Copy !req
180. - Let's try
a little experiment.Copy !req
181. I want to see maybe
what kind of thingsCopy !req
182. trigger you, Eric, okay?Copy !req
183. How do you think
you would reactCopy !req
184. if I said some negative
things about you?Copy !req
185. - Honestly,
I wouldn't really care.Copy !req
186. - What if I were to tell you
that I think you're fat?Copy !req
187. I think
you're a fat little boy.Copy !req
188. I think you're way too fat
for your age.Copy !req
189. Does that make you feel
any anger?Copy !req
190. Huh, fatty?
Jelly belly?Copy !req
191. You got jelly in your belly,
you little fat fuck?Copy !req
192. You get a little
flash of angerCopy !req
193. when someone tells you
you got titsCopy !req
194. like a 40-year-old woman,
fat boy?Copy !req
195. Huh? You like that,
shitty titty jelly belly?Copy !req
196. Oh, yeah, he's a big boy!Copy !req
197. Get that fatty some mud flaps
for his ass!Copy !req
198. Big ol' jiggly fatty butt!Copy !req
199. - Huh.Copy !req
200. Well, I just don't see it,
Ms. Cartman.Copy !req
201. Your son doesn't seem to be
triggered by anger at all.Copy !req
202. In fact, I'd say
he's one of the moreCopy !req
203. even-tempered children
I've ever seen.Copy !req
204. - Sorry, Doctor.
Your wife's on the phone.Copy !req
205. Says it's an emergency.
- Excuse me.Copy !req
206. Carol, what-Copy !req
207. Whoa, calm down, honey.
What do you mean?Copy !req
208. Web chat with-Copy !req
209. What 14-year-old girl?
Carol, I would nev-Copy !req
210. No, I don't have
a criminal record!Copy !req
211. Who is Mitch Conner?Copy !req
212. There can't be an official
police report, honey.Copy !req
213. There's no-
No, Carol, put down the gun!Copy !req
214. Sweetie, come on,
put down the-Copy !req
215. Carol?
Carol!Copy !req
216. - I'm not fat.
I'm big-boned.Copy !req
217. - Thank you for coming,
parents.Copy !req
218. We've called you in
because we've hadCopy !req
219. a little incident
at the school.Copy !req
220. The fourth grade boys
measured their penisesCopy !req
221. and posted results
in the school hallway.Copy !req
222. - Oh, dear.Copy !req
223. - Now, we realize this issue
can have a troubling effectCopy !req
224. that can get blown
out of proportion.Copy !req
225. - Did they measure from
the base or from the balls?Copy !req
226. - How does the school
let things like this happen?Copy !req
227. - Now, now, boys' fascination
with their genitaliaCopy !req
228. is a natural thing.Copy !req
229. We simply need to find a way
to help the studentsCopy !req
230. understand what they've done.Copy !req
231. - I'm a scientist.Copy !req
232. I think it's best
I handle this.Copy !req
233. - Hello, students,
my name is Dr. Marsh,Copy !req
234. and I'm gonna talk to you
a little bitCopy !req
235. about what happened
at the school yesterday.Copy !req
236. How do a man and woman
make a baby?Copy !req
237. Anybody?Copy !req
238. A man and a woman, what do
they do to make a baby?Copy !req
239. How about the little girl
in the brown coat.Copy !req
240. Yeah, you.
- They have sex?Copy !req
241. - Good!Copy !req
242. The man puts his penis, okay,Copy !req
243. into the woman's vagina.Copy !req
244. Okay, now sometimes,Copy !req
245. a man can feel like
how long his penis isCopy !req
246. is actually important.Copy !req
247. But is it?Copy !req
248. When you boys measured
your penis length,Copy !req
249. the truth is,
it doesn't really matter.Copy !req
250. What does matter is...Copy !req
251. length times diameterCopy !req
252. plus weight over girthCopy !req
253. divided by angle
of the tip squared.Copy !req
254. Okay?Copy !req
255. When we are talking
about penis size,Copy !req
256. we can't just use
a tape measure.Copy !req
257. We need a scale
and a protractor as well.Copy !req
258. Let's look at it
on the graph here.Copy !req
259. Follow along with me
on your study sheets, kids.Copy !req
260. - I want to congratulate
all of youCopy !req
261. for making the effort to come
to anger management class.Copy !req
262. - We didn't make any effort.
We didn't have a choice!Copy !req
263. - Yeah, this is bullshit!Copy !req
264. - Together, we're gonna learn
what makes us angry, okay,Copy !req
265. and how to better
deal with itCopy !req
266. so we don't get our ourselves
into trouble anymore.Copy !req
267. - So lame.Copy !req
268. Why doesn't everyone
just die?Copy !req
269. Look,Copy !req
270. if a somebody order
the City BeefCopy !req
271. and complain
because they sayCopy !req
272. they order the City Shrimp,Copy !req
273. it's not a my fault
he gets City ChickenCopy !req
274. poured all over
his fucking head!Copy !req
275. - We have good reason
to be angry!Copy !req
276. This country
is going to shit!Copy !req
277. We have exactly 12 days
before the oil is gone,Copy !req
278. and our president
is a socialistCopy !req
279. who wasn't even born
in America!Copy !req
280. - Right, see,
what we all need to doCopy !req
281. is channel our various
reasons for angerCopy !req
282. and learn to control it.Copy !req
283. - Man, this shit
is wack, mah.Copy !req
284. I just seen
all this shit frontin', mah.Copy !req
285. I don't understand;
it's like popsCopy !req
286. ain't no fucking good, mah.Copy !req
287. Bitch be callin',
be tappin' that shit, mah.Copy !req
288. - Why the fuck
am I here?Copy !req
289. - Well, Eric,
because I know you wantCopy !req
290. to control your anger
and become a better person.Copy !req
291. - You saying I got problems
like these fucking people?Copy !req
292. - No, no!
I'm not saying that at all.Copy !req
293. Please, I'm just saying
how amazing you areCopy !req
294. for wanting to lessen
some of your moreCopy !req
295. less awesome attributes.Copy !req
296. - Oh, that's cool.Copy !req
297. - And so,
by dividing the weightCopy !req
298. and the girth of the penisCopy !req
299. by the angle, or the-
what do we call it again?Copy !req
300. The yaw,
the yaw of the shaft.Copy !req
301. What we finally get is
the adjusted penis size,Copy !req
302. or T.M.I.Copy !req
303. Any questions so far?Copy !req
304. Yes, little girl over there.Copy !req
305. - What's a penis?Copy !req
306. - Ah, good question.Copy !req
307. Uh, the penis is the thing
we're talking aboutCopy !req
308. that boys have
that we're measuring.Copy !req
309. Okay, any other questions?Copy !req
310. Okay, so then let's move on
to the exampleCopy !req
311. on your study sheet.Copy !req
312. How about you?Copy !req
313. Could you read the first
example for the class?Copy !req
314. Example one, young lady,Copy !req
315. please read the problem
out loud.Copy !req
316. - "Example one:Copy !req
317. Randy has a penis that is
4.4 inches in length."Copy !req
318. - 4.4 inches.Copy !req
319. - "Its angle is 32 degrees.Copy !req
320. "Its flaccid girth
is one inch in diameter.Copy !req
321. His balls are 7 centimeters
from the base."Copy !req
322. - 7 centimeters.Copy !req
323. - "Randy notes
that the drift of his penisCopy !req
324. "is 4 centimeters
to penis right,Copy !req
325. and its dead weight
is.5 kilograms."Copy !req
326. - Great, and so
divide by the 17,Copy !req
327. carry the 1,
and we can see thatCopy !req
328. Randy's adjusted penis size,
or T.M. I,Copy !req
329. is... 6.3 inches.Copy !req
330. Do we got that?Copy !req
331. Randy's length
is 4.4 inches,Copy !req
332. but his adjusted length
is 6.3.Copy !req
333. So how does our example
person, "Randy,"Copy !req
334. compare to others
on the T.M.I. Scale?Copy !req
335. By referring again
to the T.M.I. Chart,Copy !req
336. we see that a T.M.I. Of 6.3Copy !req
337. is.8 inches more
than the national average.Copy !req
338. - Okay, what we're
going to do nowCopy !req
339. is get to the root
of all your anger.Copy !req
340. Daniel, could you
stand up, please?Copy !req
341. What makes you
the angriest, Daniel?Copy !req
342. - Stupid ass
blind liberals!Copy !req
343. - Okay, great.Copy !req
344. Chase, could you stand up
and pretend to beCopy !req
345. a stupid ass blind liberal.Copy !req
346. And what makes you
angriest, Chase?Copy !req
347. - Scrawny-ass sissies!Copy !req
348. - Okay, Daniel is
a scrawny-ass sissy.Copy !req
349. He just cut in front of you
in line at the bank.Copy !req
350. Go!
- Hey!Copy !req
351. What, you think
I got a small dick, huh?Copy !req
352. - I don't have a small penis!Copy !req
353. My wife thinks my penis
is perfectly fine!Copy !req
354. - Okay.Copy !req
355. Uh, why don't we do
some role-playing nowCopy !req
356. with Wayne D, who gets
angriest at his mom?Copy !req
357. Gretchen, could you play
Wayne D's mom for us.Copy !req
358. - Yo, bitch!
You think you bad.Copy !req
359. Just 'cause you a mom
don't mean I can'tCopy !req
360. put a cap in your ass,
bitch, mah!Copy !req
361. - I may be female
on the outside,Copy !req
362. but I still have
a bigger penis than you!Copy !req
363. - I don't have a small penis.
Don't say that!Copy !req
364. It isn't true!
It isn't true!Copy !req
365. - That's enough!Copy !req
366. I'm sick of everyone
talk about penis size!Copy !req
367. - Yeah, it doesn't matter!
It doesn't matter!Copy !req
368. - Does everyone hereCopy !req
369. have an issue
with their penis size?Copy !req
370. - No.
- Nope.Copy !req
371. - Not me.
- Nah, mah shit be packin', mah.Copy !req
372. - My penis is
13 inches long!Copy !req
373. - Hmm.Copy !req
374. - Kids, my name
is Rebecca Turnoud,Copy !req
375. and I'm an actual doctorCopy !req
376. of human sexuality
and behavior.Copy !req
377. Unfortunately,
you have been taughtCopy !req
378. some very wrong ideas
in the past couple of days,Copy !req
379. and I am here
to set things straight.Copy !req
380. - Thank God.Copy !req
381. - I want you to try
and forgetCopy !req
382. these wild theories
and understandCopy !req
383. that all that's importantCopy !req
384. when it comes to a man
and a woman making loveCopy !req
385. is actuallyCopy !req
386. length times girth
over angle of the shaft,Copy !req
387. divided by mass over width.Copy !req
388. - Ugh!
Unh!Copy !req
389. - We all want to welcome
our new member, Randy.Copy !req
390. Say hi to everyone, Randy.Copy !req
391. - Oh, suck it,
all of you!Copy !req
392. - Now, we've all been trying
to channel our angerCopy !req
393. in more constructive ways,
Randy.Copy !req
394. Why don't you share
what's bothering you?Copy !req
395. - You don't just go around
changing math.Copy !req
396. Who the hell is this
chick surgeon generalCopy !req
397. appointed by Obama?Copy !req
398. - God damn right!Copy !req
399. Socialist fascists!Copy !req
400. - Power to the people!
Burn it down!Copy !req
401. Burn it down!Copy !req
402. - Mr. Marsh, this is
what we're hereCopy !req
403. to try and work on, okay?Copy !req
404. - No, dude, fuck you!
We're burnin' this shit!Copy !req
405. If you take a minute
to think about your anger and-Copy !req
406. Whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!Copy !req
407. - Yeah!
- Yeah, dude!Copy !req
408. - Mah, that shit be burnin'
and shit, mah!Copy !req
409. - Unh!Copy !req
410. - Yeah!Copy !req
411. - Welcome to FedEx.
How can I help you today?Copy !req
412. - Yes, I've got some birthday
presents I need shipped.Copy !req
413. - All righty, let's see
what kind of-Copy !req
414. - Burn it down!Copy !req
415. - Burn it down, dude!Copy !req
416. - Huh! Huh!
- Aah!Copy !req
417. - Oh, no!Copy !req
418. - Let's see
how the American governmentCopy !req
419. likes it when we shut down
their Federal Express!Copy !req
420. - Tom, I'm standing outside
the FedExCopy !req
421. in Fairplay, Colorado,Copy !req
422. where a radical
political groupCopy !req
423. has taken
several people hostage.Copy !req
424. They call themselves
the Pissed Off and Angry Party,Copy !req
425. and they allowed me
to speak with them moments ago.Copy !req
426. - This is a call
to all angry people!Copy !req
427. We've had enough!Copy !req
428. We're gonna hit the government
where it hurts,Copy !req
429. right in the Federal Express!Copy !req
430. - What exactly
are you angry about?Copy !req
431. - We're angry about
this stupid liberal governmentCopy !req
432. and fascist lies,
media control, and-Copy !req
433. - And Jews!
- Yeah, Jews!Copy !req
434. And all the stuff
that the government's doing!Copy !req
435. - You've got
a lot of people scared.Copy !req
436. What are your demands?Copy !req
437. - Well, first of all,Copy !req
438. we want that Surgeon General
to step down!Copy !req
439. - Yeah!
- And we want-Copy !req
440. - And we wanna see Obama's
real birth certificate!Copy !req
441. - Yeah, we wanna see Obama's
real birth certificate!Copy !req
442. And, um-Copy !req
443. - And my mom gotta
stop trippin', mah.Copy !req
444. Bitch be trippin'
all the time, mah!Copy !req
445. - Yeah, we want our moms
to stop trippin, man,Copy !req
446. 'cause them bitches
be trippin all the time!Copy !req
447. And I think that-
uh, is that it?Copy !req
448. - No, and fuck Kyle!Copy !req
449. - Oh, yeah, and fuck Kyle!Copy !req
450. Surgeon general's
resignation,Copy !req
451. Obama's real
birth certificate,Copy !req
452. moms to stop trippin,
and fuck Kyle.Copy !req
453. You got that?Copy !req
454. Or else we're gonna bring
the Federal ExpressCopy !req
455. to a grinding halt!Copy !req
456. - Does it bother you
that the Federal ExpressCopy !req
457. is not affiliated at all
with the federal government?Copy !req
458. - No.
No, that doesn't matter.Copy !req
459. Fuck!
Really?Copy !req
460. - Butters,
what are you doing?Copy !req
461. - Homework!
I just don't get it!Copy !req
462. That is the fourth time
I've calculated,Copy !req
463. and it's below average!Copy !req
464. I thought I was hung,
but according to my T.M.I.,Copy !req
465. I have a micropenis!Copy !req
466. - Your T.M. I?Copy !req
467. - I don't understand it.Copy !req
468. I'm startin'... -
I'm startin' to feel angry!Copy !req
469. Argh!Copy !req
470. - Butters,
put your clothes on!Copy !req
471. - Oh, what's the point, mom?Copy !req
472. What's the point of life,
anyways?Copy !req
473. All you do is yell at me!Copy !req
474. And the government,
it's just lead by fascists!Copy !req
475. And everyone's
a Justin Beiber wannabe!Copy !req
476. I wanna go
and drive a Hummer.Copy !req
477. That's what I wanna do!Copy !req
478. I wanna drive a car
that goes "vram vram vram!"Copy !req
479. - Butters, what does
driving a carCopy !req
480. have to do with your penis
being small?Copy !req
481. - Hey, everyone
who's pissed off and angryCopy !req
482. is rallying
to take down America!Copy !req
483. Join the fight!Copy !req
484. - We're gonna take down
the Federal Expresses,Copy !req
485. the American Apparels,Copy !req
486. and the American
Furniture Warehouse!Copy !req
487. - We are fed up,
and we've had enough!Copy !req
488. - Surgeon General,Copy !req
489. 12 more FedEx's
have been taken over.Copy !req
490. The Pissed Off and Angry Party
is gaining more support.Copy !req
491. - They've shut down
American AirlinesCopy !req
492. and American Apparels
all over the country.Copy !req
493. We have to ask you
to step down.Copy !req
494. - Are you seriously sayingCopy !req
495. we're going to give in
to their demands?Copy !req
496. - They are all really angry.Copy !req
497. We have to make them stop.Copy !req
498. Is the team standing by to fuck
that little boy Kyle?Copy !req
499. - Team is standing by, Sir.Copy !req
500. - Excuse me! Excuse me!
Let me through!Copy !req
501. - Who is this?Copy !req
502. - Surgeon General, I believe
I know why this is happening.Copy !req
503. I have found
a direct correlationCopy !req
504. between anger and T.M.I.Copy !req
505. Anger equals
length times widthCopy !req
506. over mass squared
minus angle of the shaftCopy !req
507. plus yaw.Copy !req
508. Look, we all get angry,Copy !req
509. but when someone is
consistently angry,Copy !req
510. or always finding
new reasons to be angry,Copy !req
511. it means they have a very,
very, very, very small dick.Copy !req
512. - Your theory is fine,
Doctor,Copy !req
513. but it doesn't matter.Copy !req
514. The T.M.I. Equation
is true solid science,Copy !req
515. which cannot be changed.Copy !req
516. There's nothing
we can do about it.Copy !req
517. - Isn't there?Copy !req
518. Isn't... there?Copy !req
519. - We've waited
long enough, Randy!Copy !req
520. Let's start killing
these sons a bitches!Copy !req
521. - No, please!Copy !req
522. - Yeah, dude, they aren't gonna
give us what we want.Copy !req
523. - Yo, let's cap
these bitches, mah.Copy !req
524. Let's cap and leave 'em in
the back of the buildin', mah.Copy !req
525. - Hey, come over here.
Look.Copy !req
526. - We interrupt this newscast
for an important messageCopy !req
527. from the Surgeon General.Copy !req
528. - Fellow Americans,Copy !req
529. as you all know,
the T.M.I. ScaleCopy !req
530. was implemented long agoCopy !req
531. to assure that each
and every AmericanCopy !req
532. could accurately measure
their junk.Copy !req
533. The established equation
is 100 percent accurate.Copy !req
534. - Argh!
- Shh!Copy !req
535. - However, due to recently
collected data,Copy !req
536. we are making one change.Copy !req
537. The national average
for penis lengthCopy !req
538. is now officially movedCopy !req
539. from 6 inches to 1.5 inches.Copy !req
540. Anyone with a T.M.I.
Of over 1.5 inchesCopy !req
541. is considered above average.Copy !req
542. - Wait, what?Copy !req
543. - Wait!
According to that scale,Copy !req
544. I still have
a small wiener!Copy !req
545. - I'm still fucking angry!Copy !req