1. - Last week,
the students of this school
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2. participated in
the presidential fitness test.
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3. I'm sad to announce
that South Park Elementary
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4. scored the lowest
in health and fitness
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5. in the entire country.
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6. On the whole, you students
actually scored fine.
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7. But the president's fitness test
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8. is scored
on a school-wide average,
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9. and one fourth grader
at this school scored so low-
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10. with a terrifying body-fat score
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11. and high blood pressure
and the cholesterol levels
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12. of a 70-year-old man-
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13. that it actually brought
your entire school's average
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14. down to the lowest
in the country.
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15. - However,
the Presidential Fitness Program
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16. never wants
to single out one child,
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17. because then that child
might feel bad.
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18. And so as far
as we're concerned,
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19. you're all a bunch
of fat fuckin' pigs.
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20. - Uh, could you please use
a little different terminology?
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21. - Sorry.
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22. As far as the board
is concerned,
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23. you're all a bunch
of fat fuckin' pigs.
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24. And so it is the recommendation
of this board
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25. that every week,
each class will alternate turns
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26. giving up their recesses
and instead reporting to P.E.
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27. - All right, fourth grade class,
you're up first.
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28. We're gonna do
some rope climbin'!
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29. - God, this sucks!
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30. - Four weeks, we got to do this?
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31. - Well, let's just
suck it up, guys.
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32. All we can try to do is have
a positive attitude about it.
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33. - All right, McCormick,
let's start with you.
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34. Climb the rope.
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35. Look at Kenny.
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36. He's so poor, huh, you guys?
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37. His family's so poor,
they couldn't pay the $3.99
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38. for the gym outfit!
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39. - All right, let's go,
Broflovski.
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40. Look, you guys, a Jew on a rope!
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41. You know what they call
a Jew on a rope?
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42. - All right, Cartman,
stop ripping on other people
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43. to make yourself feel
less embarrassed about the fact
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44. we're all here because of you.
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45. - Hey, whoa, we are here because
the average score was low!
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46. That's on all of us!
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47. - Because of you!
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48. It's your fault
that we have to do this.
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49. We have to do this
because you're unhealthy.
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50. - Yeah.
We're paying for your being fat.
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51. - Wow, Craig.
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52. I can't believe
you just went there.
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53. Here we were having
a perfectly nice conversation
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54. about Kenny being poor
and Kyle being a Jew,
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55. and you just decide to go 9/11
and bust out the "fat" quip.
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56. - We are here
because of you, Eric,
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57. so just keep your mouth shut.
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58. - Oh, my God!
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59. Why doesn't everyone
just back off?
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60. I know how this works!
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61. You're the 99%
ganging up on the 1%!
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62. - Oh, grow up.
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63. - Jesus Christ!
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64. The 99% is totally
ganging up on me!
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65. - That's what we mean
by "grow up," dude!
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66. Stop being a baby!
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67. - Yeah, why don't you go home
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68. and cry to your
stuffed animals again?
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69. And then-
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70. and then Wendy said
that they were the 99%
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71. and I was the 1%
and that made me not cool.
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72. But, Eric, you are cool.
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73. I know, Clyde Frog,
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74. but now the 99% is saying
everything is my fault.
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75. It's not your fault, Eric.
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76. How can they blame you
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77. for what is clearly
President Obama's fault?
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78. What do you mean, Peter Panda?
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79. You didn't make that stupid
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80. presidential fitness test.
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81. Obama did!
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82. Yeah, that's right, Eric!
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83. You don't need to grow up.
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84. You are awesome and cool.
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85. Thanks, Polly Prissypants.
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86. I'm just so scared
that all the kids at school
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87. are gonna be talking about me
behind my back.
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88. - Heh, and so then Skeletor
told Terminator
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89. he wanted a divorce,
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90. and apparently it's all
gonna be finalized soon.
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91. - Dude, Butters, how many times
do we have to go over this?
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92. That's not Skeletor.
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93. That's a woman named
Maria Shriver.
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94. - But then why does
his face look like that?
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95. - What?
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96. What?
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97. What are you guys talking about?
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98. What are you guys doing?
What are you talking about?
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99. I knew it!
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100. You guys are having
a big 99% rally, aren't you?
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101. Occupying the cafeteria?
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102. You want to know why you guys
are all here protesting?
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103. Because you're pissed off,
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104. but you actually think
it's wrong
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105. to be pissed off
at a black president,
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106. so you're all just
pissed off at me!
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107. Well, go ahead!
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108. Have your little rally to figure
out how to stick it to the 1%.
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109. See what it gets you!
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110. - Hey, you know, Eric is right.
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111. Maybe we should form
a 99% club.
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112. - Yeah, it's not a bad idea.
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113. If all the students unite,
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114. we can work together
to fight the s-system!
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115. - Yeah, the fifth graders agree.
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116. We're all being punished
for one lazy bitch.
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117. Let's make him suffer.
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118. - All we need
is some good old-fashioned
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119. d-d-d-diplomacy.
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120. Hello, sir,
we are here on behalf
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121. of all fourth graders
at South Park Elementary.
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122. - Ah, yes,
the fatty boom ballatie class.
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123. How's the extra P.E.
Treating you?
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124. - Sir, we believe
your fitness system is flawed
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125. and that for 99% of us,
it is unfair.
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126. - And what do you want me
to do about it?
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127. - Well, sir, we believe
that the 1%
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128. should be dropped
from the fitness results
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129. so that our scores
can be more accurate.
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130. Afraid that's impossible.
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131. The national fitness test
has very specific standards.
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132. No one child can ever be made
to feel singled out.
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133. We don't even like to use
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134. the term "physically fit"
anymore
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135. because it can make a student
feel un-physically fit,
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136. and then that student
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137. might end up
feeling like a total retard.
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138. - Excuse me, could you use
a different terminology, please?
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139. - And then that "fourth grader"
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140. might end up feeling
like a total retard.
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141. - Sir, all of the students
already know who the 1% is.
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142. - All you're doing
is making the 99% more angry.
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143. I warn you,
this could turn very ugly.
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144. - Mom, have you
been here all day?
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145. - No, sweetie,
I've been at the hair salon.
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146. Why?
- Somebody's been in my room!
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147. Fucking 99 percenters!
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148. What did they take?
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149. - Are you sure, sweetie?
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150. - Am I sure?
Look at this place!
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151. - But who would want to-
- Don't you get it, Mom?
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152. People voted for Obama,
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153. so now that everything sucks,
they have to blame me!
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154. They didn't take
my storm trooper watch.
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155. My Arkham City game
is still here.
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156. What else could they have-
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157. Oh, my God.
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158. Clyde Frog!
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159. - What?
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160. - No.
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161. No!
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162. Clyde Frog!
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163. They took Clyde Frog!
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164. Clyde Frog!
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165. Clyde?
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166. Clyde Frog!
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167. Clyde...
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168. Clyde Frog!
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169. I've known Clyde Frog
since I was two years old.
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170. He was a fighter, a visionary.
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171. But most of all, Clyde Frog
was the perfect friend.
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172. He never said anything.
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173. He never had his own ideas
about what he wanted to do.
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174. He just sat there going along
with whatever I wanted,
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175. a noble trait that seems lost
on you 99 percenters.
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176. And now we live in a world
where one of you
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177. has decided to become
a murderer.
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178. Well, whoever you are, I'm sure
you're sitting there right now
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179. in your little green hat,
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180. with your left cheek resting
against your hand, thinking,
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181. "I'm not getting away
with this, am I?"
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182. Because whoever you are,
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183. maybe you still have one
little piece of humanity left,
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184. covered up and tainted black
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185. by years of Jewish propaganda
and left-wing lies.
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186. Maybe you just-
- Shut the hell up, Cartman!
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187. - Got something to say, Kyle?
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188. - How do you murder
a stuffed animal?
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189. You tell us, Kyle!
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190. B-b-but-but let's not get
ahead of ourselves.
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191. There's still
a big investigation to come.
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192. And until we prove
beyond a reasonable doubt
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193. who the killer was,
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194. you are all
just as guilty as Kyle.
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195. Thank you so much.
Bagpipes, please.
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196. - Where's our $5?
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197. - It said in the email,
if we came, we each got $5.
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198. - Yeah.
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199. - $5 has been donated
in each of your names
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200. to the Clyde's Law Foundation.
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201. - We got screwed.
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202. - Oh, fine.
Go on and leave!
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203. I'm gonna find out
who did this to Clyde,
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204. and I'm gonna have
your fuckin' balls!
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205. - Sir, sir,
you remember the kids
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206. from that
South Park Elementary School?
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207. - Oh, yes, the boom boom chubby
choom choom school.
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208. - They're all protesting
outside,
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209. saying our system isn't fair
to the 99% of them.
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210. - Oh, my Jesus!
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211. Oh, not a 99% rally!
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212. - I sure hope this works.
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213. - Tom, I'm reporting
from the middle of a protest,
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214. where two fourth grade students
are fed up
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215. and have decided to occupy
Red Robin.
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216. Occupy Red Robin has been
going on for several hours now,
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217. and, boys, technically,
I am part of the 99%,
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218. so what do I have to say
about all this?
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219. - Thank you all so much
for coming.
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220. I realize
that Clyde Frog's death
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221. is as shocking to all of you
as it is to me.
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222. Why would somebody do
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223. such a terrible thing?
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224. Why would somebody hurt
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225. Clyde Frog, Eric,
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226. especially because you are
so awesome and cool?
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227. I know
that I'm awesome and cool,
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228. Polly Prissypants,
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229. but it has little relevance
at the moment
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230. to Clyde Frog's murder.
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231. Let's stop this charade, Eric,
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232. and let's get down to business.
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233. What do you mean,
Rumpertumpskin?
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234. We all know
who fucking killed Clyde Frog,
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235. and she's the same dirty slut
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236. who's been fucking with us
our whole lives!
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237. - Eric, sweetie,
is everything okay?
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238. Does everything look okay?
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239. Sit down, you fucking bitch.
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240. Yes. Sit down, Mother.
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241. We are all having a tea party.
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242. - Sweetie, I see that you're
a little disturbed right now,
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243. but maybe you can-
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244. Shut your fat pie hole, bitch!
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245. Yeah,
you know what you did, skank!
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246. You let Clyde Frog
get murdered!
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247. - No, Rumpertumpskin, I didn't!
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248. I swear!
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249. - then why did you
write in your diary
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250. it was probably time for Eric
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251. to grow out of his
stuffed animals anyway?
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252. That's an excellent point,
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253. Muscle Man Marc.
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254. Please continue.
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255. Well,
all I'm saying, Eric, is that-
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256. - Sweetie, you really can
just talk to me if you-
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257. All I'm saying, Eric,
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258. is that you went through
your mom's diary for a reason!
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259. - Eric, I promise you.
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260. I didn't do anything
to your favorite toy.
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261. Whoever did this to you,
I hate them as much as you do.
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262. And I'd do anything
to get to the bottom of it!
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263. - So, then, we are all going
to need some more tea.
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264. - You better give me every cop
you got on the South Side!
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265. I don't care where ABC
parks their truck,
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266. as long as it doesn't block
the fire trucks.
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267. Jesus, this protest
is getting out of hand.
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268. All right, what exactly
are we dealing with?
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269. - It's not good.
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270. The protest has quadrupled
in size since this morning.
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271. As you can see
from this aerial photograph,
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272. the protest now covers
almost two square miles.
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273. We have riot officers here,
here, and here.
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274. The media has been contained
to this area.
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275. - And where are
the actual protesters?
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276. - Oh, these two people
right here.
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277. - How are we gonna
contain this thing?
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278. - I'm afraid
it's about to get worse.
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279. You see this area here?
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280. This is where we're setting up
the stage for Bon Jovi.
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281. - Bon Jovi?
- These are good cops.
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282. We can't have them
standing around for hours
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283. without some entertainment.
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284. The problem is, with this area
blocked by napping tents,
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285. we have no place to serve
the officers beer.
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286. - Damn it!
Don't these protesters know
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287. what this
is all heading towards?
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288. Full-on class warfare.
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289. What the hell?
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290. Aah!
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291. Mom!
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292. Mom, my room is...
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293. Aah!
Peter Panda!
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294. - The fire started with this.
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295. Definitely a case of arson.
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296. Somebody hates this kid.
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297. - Don't you touch him!
Leave him alone!
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298. Peter Panda!
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299. E-Eric...
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300. Don't try to talk, Peter Panda.
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301. You're gonna be okay.
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302. Eric...
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303. remember...
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304. to s-s-stay cool.
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305. - Sorry, kid, we need
to take this as evidence.
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306. - No!
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307. Peter Panda, no!
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308. - The 99 percenters movement
continues to grow
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309. as more and more Americans
occupy Red Robin.
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310. I asked some of the people
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311. exactly what they hope
to accomplish.
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312. And, sir, what do you hope
to accomplish by this movement?
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313. - I like the, uh,
A1 peppercorn burger.
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314. And they got, um...
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315. bottomless fries.
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316. - And as the protesters
inside Red Robin unite together,
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317. word is that filmmaker
Michael Moore
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318. has joined
the protesters outside.
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319. - I look out at the faces
of you protesters,
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320. and I see the future of America!
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321. We are the 99%!
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322. Yeah!
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323. - Hey, dude.
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324. Are you the guys messing
with Cartman's stuffed animals?
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325. - Maybe we are,
and maybe we aren't.
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326. You got any proof?
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327. - Well, it's just
you and your friends
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328. were the ones
saying Cartman needs to suffer.
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329. - That doesn't prove anything!
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330. That fat little fuck is finally
getting what's coming to him.
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331. - Yeah, but, dude, he seriously
could have died in that fire.
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332. - He's in your class,
but you don't deal with him.
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333. So we are gonna remedy
the situation.
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334. We've got big plans.
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335. Just stay out of our way
and let the men handle this.
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336. - Thank you so much for allowing
Eric and I to stay here.
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337. - Of course.
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338. You can't be staying in a home
with that much fire damage.
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339. - To be honest,
we're just a little surprised
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340. your son begged you
to stay with us.
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341. We never knew your son
and our son were so close.
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342. - I asked little Eric
where he would feel safest,
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343. and he said
with his friend Token.
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344. - This window locks
from the inside, right?
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345. And this door
has a lock on it too?
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346. Don't worry, Polly Prissypants.
You're gonna be safe here.
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347. In this day and age,
black people
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348. are just impervious
to being fucked with,
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349. so we will be all right.
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350. - Why are you involving me
in this?
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351. - Token, please.
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352. You're the only person
I can trust,
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353. because in today's time,
black people are somehow
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354. incapable
of doing anything wrong.
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355. - Breaking news from
the Occupy Red Robin movement.
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356. The protesters have decreased
in number from two to one,
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357. as one of the protesters
has apparently splintered off
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358. from the group
to start a new movement,
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359. Occupy the Restroom.
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360. - Tom, Occupy the Restroom
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361. has been going on
for almost 30 minutes now,
Copy !req
362. certainly a sign
that this country
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363. Is more divided than ever.
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364. These 99 percenters are fed up,
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365. and as a result, you can
clearly see this restroom is...
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366. occupied.
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367. Tom, it looks like
the movement is finished,
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368. but from the time it took,
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369. it must have been
a pretty decent-sized movement.
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370. - Will you stop
changing channels
Copy !req
371. and just pick something?
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372. - What do you want to watch,
Polly Prissypants?
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373. - This is my room.
I'll take the remote from you.
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374. - Nuh-uh, 'cause
I'll tell my mom on you
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375. when our parents get home.
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376. - You're a guest here.
Your mom isn't in charge.
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377. - Nuh-uh, 'cause my house
got burned down,
Copy !req
378. so everyone
has to feel bad for me.
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379. - What is that?
What is that?
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380. - That's the alarm
that someone's in the backyard.
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381. - What? Who?
- I don't know.
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382. - I thought I was safe here!
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383. Stay there, guys.
I'll be right back!
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384. Who's there?
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385. Lock that door
behind you, Token.
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386. Black people live here!
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387. - The motion detector!
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388. - Ah!
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389. Aha!
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390. I knew it was you, Kyle!
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391. - It's not me!
I'm here to help you, fat ass!
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392. - Oh, sure.
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393. - Stop it, Cartman.
It's true.
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394. We came to keep an eye out.
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395. Steven Tamil said he had
something really big planned.
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396. - Steven Tamil?
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397. The fifth grader?
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398. Oh, shit!
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399. I told you
to lock that door, Token!
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400. No.
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401. No, no, no, no!
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402. Where are they, Kenny?
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403. - Agh!
Copy !req
404. - Hey, Cartman,
what the hell are you doing?
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405. - I don't trust
any of you assholes!
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406. Where are you sons of bitches?
Copy !req
407. - All right, guys, you ready?
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408. Ready!
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409. - Here we go!
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410. - Hey, what are
you fifth graders doing?
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411. - We are the 83%!
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412. We are tired of being punished
for the fourth grade class!
Copy !req
413. The fourth grade is sticking it
to the other 83% of the school!
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414. - Now, hold on a second, fellas.
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415. If you're the 83%,
then our class is only 17%.
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416. - Yeah, how can the 17%
be sticking it to the 83%?
Copy !req
417. - Because your class
has Cartman in it,
Copy !req
418. and he's the 1%!
Copy !req
419. - But if he's 1% of 17%,
then he's 0.17%.
Copy !req
420. - This is it.
Copy !req
421. The inevitable has happened
at Occupy Red Robin!
Copy !req
422. It is full-on class warfare!
Copy !req
423. - And now class warfare
is breaking out.
Copy !req
424. Apparently it is
the fourth grade class
Copy !req
425. versus the fifth grade class.
Copy !req
426. - It's here!
Class warfare is finally here!
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427. - Yeah!
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428. - Hello?
Copy !req
429. Whoever you are,
just give them back!
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430. Haven't you done enough to me?
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431. Muscle Man Marc!
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432. Polly Prissypants?
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433. Rumpertumpskin?
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434. Jesus Christ!
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435. Eric, don't come any closer!
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436. Who did this to you?
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437. You said you wouldn't let
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438. anything happen to us!
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439. Don't worry! I'll get you down!
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440. No, Eric! Don't come any-
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441. Rumpertumpskin!
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442. Rumper...
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443. Rumpertumpskin.
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444. Why?
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445. Why did you do this?
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446. It's okay, Eric.
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447. It's over now.
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448. Polly?
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449. Polly Prissypants?
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450. You did this?
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451. Don't you see?
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452. The kids at school
were right, Eric.
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453. It was time for us to grow up.
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454. You got rid of Clyde Frog.
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455. You burned Peter Panda.
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456. Yes, they're gone.
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457. And now we can grow up
and be together.
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458. They were your friends!
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459. They were holding us back!
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460. All the kids making fun of you
at school,
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461. saying you're not cool.
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462. Your stuffed animals
all had to be gotten rid of.
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463. Don't you see?
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464. - It's dead bolted.
Token!
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465. Token, you in there?
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466. Polly Prissypants,
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467. when people find out
we did all this,
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468. we're gonna get
in total trouble!
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469. No, I've thought of everything.
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470. It all happened here
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471. so that everyone will think
Token did it.
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472. All the blame will be on him,
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473. and we can live
happily ever after.
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474. Just one problem.
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475. You say I had to grow up,
to get rid of all my dolls.
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476. You forget one crucial thing,
Polly Prissypants.
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477. That nobody would possibly
blame Token for all this,
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478. because in today's day and age,
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479. you can't blame a black person
for anything.
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480. Oh, no.
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481. You're totally right!
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482. But I thought
my plan was perfect!
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483. I failed!
I failed you!
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484. You have to kill me, Eric,
so that you don't get blamed.
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485. No!
I've lost every stuffed animal.
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486. I won't lose you too!
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487. It's the only way now.
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488. You have to do it.
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489. Please.
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490. I can't live with myself
after what I've done!
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491. Please, you have to do it, Eric.
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492. I...
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493. All right.
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494. Good-bye, Polly Prissypants.
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495. I love you.
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496. Say hello to the sunrise for me.
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497. - Dude, what the hell?
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498. - We told him to grow up...
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499. so he got rid
of his stuffed animals.
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500. - My little Eric can sometimes
be a bit dramatic.
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501. - Occupy Red Robin is over.
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502. Class warfare
has torn apart the 99%
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503. and replaced it
with the 30%, the 26%,
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504. and even little brackets
of 5% here and there.
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505. What does this mean
for our country?
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506. What does this mean for me?
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507. - Hey, get down to State Street!
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508. They're occupying
Macaroni Grill!
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509. - Oh, hell, yeah!
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510. I'll occupy me some goat cheese
peppadew peppers!
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