1. - MOM, DAD,
WHAT'S MUFF CABBAGE?Copy !req
2. - MUFF CABBAGE?Copy !req
3. - WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT?Copy !req
4. - MUFF CABBAGE.Copy !req
5. - THE NEW NEIGHBORS THAT
MOVED IN NEXT TO STAN'S HOUSE.Copy !req
6. ME AND IKE SAW THE MOM
GET A PARKING TICKET,Copy !req
7. AND SHE CALLED THE PARKING COP
MUFF CABBAGE.Copy !req
8. - MUFF CABBAGE!Copy !req
9. - A NEW FAMILY MOVED IN?
WHERE ARE THEY FROM?Copy !req
10. - SHE SAID
THEY'RE FROM NEW JERSEY.Copy !req
11. - NEW JERSEY?Copy !req
12. A FAMILY FROM NEW JERSEY
MOVED IN NEXT TO THE MARSHES?Copy !req
13. - YEAH. STAN SAID THEY'RE HAVING
THEM OVER FOR DINNER TONIGHT.Copy !req
14. - OH, GOD.Copy !req
15. POOR SHARON.
DOESN'T SHE KNOW?Copy !req
16. - KNOW WHAT, MA?Copy !req
17. - MUFF CABBAGE!Copy !req
18. - NEVER INVITE A NEW JERSEY
HOUSEWIFE INTO YOUR HOME.Copy !req
19. - AND SO THEN I MET
THE SCHOOL PRINCIPAL.Copy !req
20. WHAT'S HER NAME?
PRINCIPAL VICTORIA!Copy !req
21. WHAT A STUPID BITCH!Copy !req
22. I MEAN,
EXCUSE MY LANGUAGE,Copy !req
23. BUT THAT BITCH NEEDS HER
FUCKING HEAD EXAMINED!Copy !req
24. YEAH,
SO MY FAMILY AND I MOVEDCopy !req
25. FROM JERSEY TO SOUTH PARK
ABOUT A WEEK AGO.Copy !req
26. SO FAR, I CAN TELL THAT EVERYONE
HERE REALLY LIKES ME.Copy !req
27. OH, AND I MET, THAT
STOTCH WOMAN, WHAT'S HER NAME?Copy !req
28. - OH, LINDA, UH-HUH.Copy !req
29. - HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW YELLOW
THAT BITCH'S TEETH ARE?Copy !req
30. YOU CAN TELL THAT WOMAN
IS A PIECE OF GAHBAGE!Copy !req
31. SHE'S GAHBAGE!Copy !req
32. I WENT INTO THE MALL HERE
AND I JUST ABOUT DROPPED DEAD.Copy !req
33. THE ONLY PANTIES
YOU CAN BUYCopy !req
34. MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE
YOU GOT A GRANDMA MUFF!Copy !req
35. - SO, RANDY, WHAT GYM'S
ARE GOOD AROUND HERE?Copy !req
36. WHERE DO YOU WORK OUT?Copy !req
37. - OH,
I DON'T REALLY WORK OUT.Copy !req
38. - WELL,
I GOTTA FIND SOMETHIN'.Copy !req
39. MY BICEPS ARE GOIN' FLAT!Copy !req
40. - WHERE CAN YOU GET
GOOD CLOTHES IN THIS TOWN?Copy !req
41. NOWHERE.Copy !req
42. I MEAN,
THAT'S WHY YOU'RE STUCKCopy !req
43. WEARING GAHBAGE
LIKE THAT, RIGHT?Copy !req
44. AND THE WOMAN THAT WORKS
THE HAIR SALON, JULIA,Copy !req
45. HAVE YOU SEEN HOW BIG
THAT BITCH'S EARS ARE?Copy !req
46. - OH, JULIA'S
A FRIEND OF MINE, YEAH.Copy !req
47. - EARS OUT TO HERE.Copy !req
48. SO I TELL HER,
"YOU GOT BIG EARS, SWEETIE."Copy !req
49. I'M NOT TRYING TO BE MEAN.
IT'S JUST A JERSEY THING!Copy !req
50. WHY BE OFFENDED?
I MEAN, YOU'VE GOT A BIG CHIN!Copy !req
51. WE'VE ALL GOT
IMPERFECTIONS!Copy !req
52. - RIGHT, JUST LIKE YOUR EYES
ARE KIND OF FAR APART.Copy !req
53. - THAT WAS TOTALLY UNCALLED FOR,
FOR WHAT SHE DID.Copy !req
54. MY EYES ARE TOO FAR APART?Copy !req
55. AND LIKE, WHO IS SHE?
IS SHE GOD? NO.Copy !req
56. YOU DON'T EVER, EVER—Copy !req
57. YOU WHACK JOB
PROSTITUTION WHORE!Copy !req
58. YOU'D PROBABLY SELL YOUR MUFF
FOR $6.00!Copy !req
59. YOU FUCKING PSYCHO BITCH!Copy !req
60. FUCK YOU!
YOU'RE NOTHING BUT GAHBAGE!Copy !req
61. THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE.
YOU'RE GAHBAGE!Copy !req
62. YOU'RE SICK, OLD WOMAN
MUFF GAHBAGE!Copy !req
63. MUFF GAHBAGE!
FUCK THIS PSYCHO BITCH!Copy !req
64. - WOW!Copy !req
65. - LET'S GET THE FUCK
OUTTA HERE!Copy !req
66. SHE'S A FUCKING PIG!Copy !req
67. SHE'S FUCKING
PISSING ME OFF!Copy !req
68. OKAY, I LOVE YOU.
- TAKE IT EASY.Copy !req
69. - I LOVE YOU. I THOUGHT
I WAS GONNA DECK HER.Copy !req
70. I WAS FINE,
I WAS REALLY FINE.Copy !req
71. I JUST WANTED TO GET MY POINT
ACROSS TO HER,Copy !req
72. AND THEN THAT'S HOW I AM.Copy !req
73. LIKE I COULD BE MAD ONE MINUTE,
AND THEN I'LL BE FINE.Copy !req
74. OKAY, ALL BETTER.
JUST HAD TO GET THAT OUT.Copy !req
75. IT'S JUST—
IT'S A JERSEY THING!Copy !req
76. SO WHO WANTS DESSERT?
MEEEE!Copy !req
77. - YOU GUYS
DO NOT UNDERSTAND,Copy !req
78. HAVING NEIGHBORS FROM JERSEY
IS THE WORST.Copy !req
79. ALL NIGHT LONG,
THEY KEEP ME AWAKE.Copy !req
80. THEY'RE EITHER
SCREAMING AT EACH OTHERCopy !req
81. OR MAKING SOME
DISGUSTING SEX SOUNDS.Copy !req
82. IT SEEMS LIKE ALL PEOPLE
FROM JERSEY DOCopy !req
83. IS HUMP
AND PUNCH EACH OTHER.Copy !req
84. - YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU
WANT A FAMILY TO MOVE AWAY?Copy !req
85. EVERY NIGHT, YOU GO AND TAKE
A CRAP ON THEIR DOORSTEP.Copy !req
86. - IS THAT WHY THERE'S CRAP
ON MY DOORSTEP EVERY MORNING?Copy !req
87. - OOPS!
BUSTED!Copy !req
88. - THEY TALK WAY TOO LOUD,
THEY FLIP OUT FOR NO REASON,Copy !req
89. AND EVERY TIME THEY ACT LIKE
SELFISH ASSHOLES,Copy !req
90. THEY JUST GO, "OH, IT'S A JERSEY
THING, IT'S A JERSEY THING."Copy !req
91. - HEY!
YOU TALKIN' ABOUT JERSEY?Copy !req
92. ME AND MY FRIENDS
ARE FROM JERSEY!Copy !req
93. - OH, CRAP.
THERE'S MORE OF THEM?Copy !req
94. - HEY, COME ON!Copy !req
95. THERE'S PEOPLE FROM JERSEY
ALL OVER!Copy !req
96. WHO HERE IS FROM JERSEY?Copy !req
97. - SO I'M STANDING THERE,Copy !req
98. AND I'M LIKE,
WHO'S FROM JERSEY?Copy !req
99. AND PEOPLE ARE
ALL LIKE, "YO! WHOO-HOO!"Copy !req
100. NEXT THING YOU KNOW?
JERSEY PARTY AT SIZZLER.Copy !req
101. - YEAH, LET'S GET
THIS PARTY STARTED!Copy !req
102. - WHERE THE HELL
ARE THEY COMING FROM?Copy !req
103. - DANIELLE IS BEING
A STUPID BITCH!Copy !req
104. - SHUT UP, THERESA.Copy !req
105. YOU'RE PATHETIC.Copy !req
106. - I'M PATHETIC?
YOU'RE MUFF GAHBAGE!Copy !req
107. OH, SHARON!
HI, SWEETIE!Copy !req
108. YOU GOTTA MEET
OUR NEW NEIGHBORS!Copy !req
109. THIS IS JACQUELINE.
SHE'S FROM JERSEY.Copy !req
110. - AND SICILIAN.Copy !req
111. - THAT'S DANIELLE.Copy !req
112. SHE'S FROM JERSEY.Copy !req
113. AND THAT'S CAROLINE.Copy !req
114. - I'M HAVING MY FACE SHAVED.Copy !req
115. IT'S A JERSEY THING.Copy !req
116. - I'M SORRY, BUT I HAVE OTHER
CLIENTS IN TEN MINUTES.Copy !req
117. CAN YOU SIT DOWN?Copy !req
118. - WHEN THE SALON GIRL
TOLD THERESA TO SIT DOWN,Copy !req
119. I THOUGHT THERESA
WAS GONNA BUST A TIT.Copy !req
120. - DON'T YOU FUCKING
TELL ME WHAT TO DO!Copy !req
121. I'M A CLIENT HERE!Copy !req
122. - THERESA!
CALM DOWN!Copy !req
123. - I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE
YOUR SHIT.Copy !req
124. I'M FROM JERSEY!Copy !req
125. - GET HER, SHARON!
- WHAT?Copy !req
126. - SHARON,
JUST STAY OUT OF IT.Copy !req
127. - BE THE BIGGER PERSON,
SHARON.Copy !req
128. - YOU PEOPLE ARE CRAZY.
- WHO'S CRAZY?Copy !req
129. ARE YOU TALKIN'
ABOUT MY FAMILY?Copy !req
130. IS MY FAMILY CRAZY?Copy !req
131. - DON'T YOU PULL
MY FRIEND'S HAIR, YOU BITCH!Copy !req
132. - LET GO OF HER,
YOU PIECE OF TRASH.Copy !req
133. - WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU
TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO?Copy !req
134. - ALL YOU TRASHY WHORES,Copy !req
135. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE
AND LEAVE HER ALONE!Copy !req
136. - PSYCHO BITCH!Copy !req
137. - NO,
YOU'RE A PSYCHO BITCH!Copy !req
138. PSYCHO BITCH!
PSYCHO BITCH!Copy !req
139. YOU WANNA SEE
FUCKING CRAZY?Copy !req
140. YOU BETTER JUST STEP
THE FUCK AWAY,Copy !req
141. YOU WANNA SEE FUCKING CRAZY!Copy !req
142. - YOU'RE CABBAGE!Copy !req
143. - SHEILA?Copy !req
144. - PEOPLE OF SOUTH PARK,
WE HAVE ALL NOTICEDCopy !req
145. A STEEP RISE
IN EVERYTHING JERSEY LATELY.Copy !req
146. AS MANY OF YOU ALREADY KNOW,Copy !req
147. EVERYTHING EAST OF THE ROCKIES
IS NOW PART OF NEW JERSEY.Copy !req
148. THE JERSEY SHORE NOW INCLUDES
JACKSONVILLE, MIAMI,Copy !req
149. THE GULF OF JERSEY, MEXICO,
AND THE JERSEY ISLANDS.Copy !req
150. - JESUS!
WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS?Copy !req
151. - MORE PEOPLE FROM JERSEY
ARE SHOWING UP IN OUR TOWN.Copy !req
152. IF WE DON'T DO SOMETHING,Copy !req
153. SOUTH PARK IS GOING
TO BECOME WEST JERSEY.Copy !req
154. - WELL, THAT DOES IT!Copy !req
155. LET'S GO TELL
EVERYONE FROM JERSEYCopy !req
156. WE DON'T WANT THEM HERE!Copy !req
157. YEAH!
- THAT WON'T WORK!Copy !req
158. YOU CAN'T JUST TELL PEOPLE
FROM JERSEY YOU DON'T LIKE THEM.Copy !req
159. NO MATTER
HOW OBNOXIOUS THEY ARE,Copy !req
160. THEY WILL
CONVINCE THEMSELVESCopy !req
161. THAT YOU ALL ACTUALLY
THINK THEY'RE COOL.Copy !req
162. - HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT,
MRS. BROFLOVSKI?Copy !req
163. - THAT'S WHEN I KNEW I HAD TO
TELL EVERYONE THE TRUTH.Copy !req
164. THAT ORIGINALLY,
I'M FROM JERSEY.Copy !req
165. YES, BORN AND RAISED.Copy !req
166. I WASN'T EVEN CALLED SHEILA
BACK THEN.Copy !req
167. IN JERSEY, I WAS KNOWN
AS S-WOWW TITTYBANG.Copy !req
168. I DRANK HEAVILY AND PUNCHED
A LOT OF BITCHES IN THE FACE.Copy !req
169. LIVING IN SOUTH PARK,Copy !req
170. I'M ABLE TO CONTROL
THE JERSEY SIDE OF ME,Copy !req
171. WHICH DOESN'T
REALLY COME OUTCopy !req
172. UNLESS I GET AROUND
OTHER PEOPLE FROM JERSEY.Copy !req
173. I'M JUST REALLY HOPING
THAT PEOPLE HERECopy !req
174. DON'T JUDGE ME FOR IT.Copy !req
175. OR SOMEHOW, YOU KNOW,
HOLD IT AGAINST ME.Copy !req
176. - SHEILA,
WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?Copy !req
177. - YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.
IT'S A JERSEY THING.Copy !req
178. - YOU AIN'T GETTIN' BY
THAT WAY, KENNY.Copy !req
179. - HEY, DUDES.Copy !req
180. - OH!
WELL, WELL, WELL.Copy !req
181. LOOK WHAT THE CAT THREW UP
IN THE LITTER BOX.Copy !req
182. COME ON, GUYS, WE DON'T WANT TO
BE SEEN HANGING AROUND HIM.Copy !req
183. - WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?Copy !req
184. - DUDE, WE HEARD THE NEWS.Copy !req
185. YOUR MOM IS FROM JERSEY!Copy !req
186. - SO WHAT?Copy !req
187. - SO WHAT?
THAT MAKES YOU FROM JERSEY!Copy !req
188. - NO, IT DOESN'T!Copy !req
189. - HE'S FROM JERSEY,
YOU GUYS.Copy !req
190. LET'S JUST
GET AWAY FROM HIM.Copy !req
191. - I'M NOT FROM JERSEY.
I WAS BORN HERE!Copy !req
192. - DON'T TRY AND DENY IT.Copy !req
193. YOU'RE ONE OF THEM, DUDE,Copy !req
194. AND BY MY ACCOUNTS,
THAT'S STRIKE THREE!Copy !req
195. - WHAT'S STRIKE THREE?Copy !req
196. - YOU'RE A GINGER, A JEW,
AND FROM JERSEY.Copy !req
197. THREE STRIKES, KYLE!
YOU'RE OUT!Copy !req
198. - SHUT THE FUCK UP!Copy !req
199. WHAT?Copy !req
200. - DID YOU KNOW YOUR MOM
WAS FROM JERSEY?Copy !req
201. - WHY DOES IT MATTER?Copy !req
202. - NO,
IT JUST EXPLAINS A LOT.Copy !req
203. - OH, MY GOD!Copy !req
204. KYLE'S EVEN STARTING TO LOOK
LIKE HE'S FROM JERSEY!Copy !req
205. HIS SKIN IS TURNING ORANGE!Copy !req
206. - NO, IT ISN'T!
- YES, IT IS!Copy !req
207. IT'S GETTING ORANGER!
- STOP IT, CARTMAN.Copy !req
208. JUST 'CAUSE KYLE'S MOM
IS A JERSEY ASSHOLECopy !req
209. DOESN'T MEAN KYLE IS.Copy !req
210. - YEAH.
- OKAY.Copy !req
211. YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT,
GUYS.Copy !req
212. AS FOR ME?Copy !req
213. WELL, YOU'RE A HEARTLESS,
BACKSTABBING JERSEY BOY, KYLE,Copy !req
214. AND I SHANT BE
PLAYING BASKETBALLCopy !req
215. WITH THE LIKES OF YOU.Copy !req
216. AND I'M GONNA START CRAPPIN'
ON YOUR DOORSTEP A LOT MORE.Copy !req
217. - NO, COULDN'T BE.Copy !req
218. OH, MY GOD.Copy !req
219. - KYLE, YOU IN THERE?Copy !req
220. - HOLD ON!
UM, NOT RIGHT NOW!Copy !req
221. - KYLE, OPEN THE DOOR.Copy !req
222. - NOT NOW, MOM, PLEASE!Copy !req
223. - KYLE, THIS INSTANT!
ONE, TWO—Copy !req
224. - ALL RIGHT!
ALL RIGHT!Copy !req
225. - I GUESS WE NEED TO TALK.Copy !req
226. I KNOW THIS HAS TO BE
VERY UPSETTING FOR YOU, KYLE.Copy !req
227. - WHAT AM I, MOM?Copy !req
228. - WHEN I GOT PREGNANT WITH YOU,
KYLE, YOUR FATHER AND ICopy !req
229. WERE LIVING WITH MY PARENTS
IN NEWARK.Copy !req
230. WE KNEW WE HAD TO GET OUT.Copy !req
231. NEITHER ONE OF US WANTED
OUR CHILD TO BE FROM JERSEY.Copy !req
232. SO WE MOVED AS FAR AWAY
AS WE COULD.Copy !req
233. BUT NOW I REALIZE, YOU CAN TAKE
THE FETUS OUT OF JERSEY,Copy !req
234. BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE JERSEY
OUT OF THE FETUS.Copy !req
235. - WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?Copy !req
236. - I'M SAYING THAT
FOR THE FIRST TWO MONTHSCopy !req
237. I CARRIED YOU IN MY STOMACH,
I LIVED IN NEWARK.Copy !req
238. TECHNICALLY,
YOU ARE FROM JERSEY.Copy !req
239. - NO!Copy !req
240. I DON'T WANT TO
LOOK LIKE THIS!Copy !req
241. - IT ISN'T SO BAD, KYLE.Copy !req
242. A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK
THE JERSEY LOOK IS NICE.Copy !req
243. - AAAAAAAH!Copy !req
244. - I CAN HIDE IT!
NOBODY EVER HAS TO KNOW!Copy !req
245. I CAN'T EVER
LET ANYBODY KNOW!Copy !req
246. - LIVE, FROM ST. LOUIS,
NEW JERSEY,Copy !req
247. IT'S THEJERSEY NEWS,Copy !req
248. WITH ANCHOR MEN P-TRAIN
AND TAN JOVI.Copy !req
249. - WHAT'S UP, NEW JERSEY?
IT'S THE EVENING NEWS.Copy !req
250. OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT—Copy !req
251. MANY JERSEY PEOPLE
ARE FRICKIN' PISSEDCopy !req
252. AFTER A SMALL TOWN
IN COLORADOCopy !req
253. GOT ALL AGGRO
ON SOME DECENT JERSEY FOLK.Copy !req
254. FOR MORE ON THE STORY,
WE GO TO CHICAGO.Copy !req
255. - PEOPLE HERE IN CHICAGO,
NEW JERSEY,Copy !req
256. ARE RILED UP, P-TRAIN.Copy !req
257. APPARENTLY A TOWN
CALLED SOUTH PARK,Copy !req
258. WHICH IS AT THE BORDER
OF DENVER, NEW JERSEY,Copy !req
259. IS DISCRIMINATING AGAINST
PEOPLE FROM JERSEY!Copy !req
260. THEY WON'T SELL HOUSES
TO PEOPLE FROM JERSEY,Copy !req
261. AND THEY'RE MAKING ALL THE ONES
WHO MOVED IN MOVE OUT,Copy !req
262. AND THEY'RE TAKING DOWN
ALL THE JERSEY-OWNED SHOPS!Copy !req
263. IT'S LIKE THESE PEOPLE
GOT A BEEF WITH JERSEY.Copy !req
264. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?Copy !req
265. - WHAT'S UP
WITH THAT?Copy !req
266. - WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?Copy !req
267. - WELL, WE ARE COMIN'
AFTER YOU, SOUTH PARK!Copy !req
268. WE FIGHT DISCRIMINATION!
IT'S A JERSEY THING!Copy !req
269. - PLEASE, GOVERNOR,
YOU HAVE TO SEND YOUR TROOPSCopy !req
270. TO JOIN US IN THIS FIGHT.Copy !req
271. WE'RE JUST A SMALL TOWN.Copy !req
272. WE CAN'T STOP NEW JERSEY
ON OUR OWN.Copy !req
273. - WE ARE VERY SORRY,Copy !req
274. BUT CALIFORNIA CANNOT AFFORD
HELPING YOU AT THIS TIME.Copy !req
275. - CAN'T YOU SEE THAT IF
WE FALL TO NEW JERSEY,Copy !req
276. CALIFORNIA IS NEXT?Copy !req
277. - NO, BECAUSE UTAH IS BETWEEN
COLORADO AND CALIFORNIA.Copy !req
278. - OH. FINE.Copy !req
279. BUT WHEN UTAH GETS TAKEN OVER
BY NEW JERSEY, THEN WHO'S NEXT?Copy !req
280. - NEVADA.Copy !req
281. - OH, REALLY? WELL, OKAY,
MR. "I'M AWESOME AT GEOGRAPHY."Copy !req
282. - WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU GUYS DOING?Copy !req
283. - TRYING TO HELP. MY DAD SAYS
TO DISTRIBUTE ALL THESE GUNS.Copy !req
284. - AND WE'RE JUST GONNA LET HIM
STAND AROUND HERE?Copy !req
285. HE'S ONE OF THEM,
HE COULD EASILY BE A SPY!Copy !req
286. - I TOLD YOU, CARTMAN.
I'M NOT ONE OF THEM.Copy !req
287. I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN WEST
JERSEY ANY MORE THAN YOU DO!Copy !req
288. - OVERCOMPENSATING A LITTLE,
AREN'T WE, KYLE?Copy !req
289. - THAT'S ENOUGH.Copy !req
290. - YOUR BLOOD IS TAINTED
WITH THE THREE Js!Copy !req
291. JEWISH, JERSEY,
AND JINGER! ADMIT IT!Copy !req
292. - AAAAAAAAH!Copy !req
293. I'M NOT ONE OF THEM!Copy !req
294. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?Copy !req
295. YOU BETTER GET THAT
THROUGH YOUR FAT HEAD!Copy !req
296. I WILL NEVER BE ONE OF THEM,
AND IF YOU SAY IT AGAIN,Copy !req
297. I SWEAR TO GOD, I'LL SMASH
YOUR FUCKING TEETH IN!Copy !req
298. THAT HURT MY THROAT BECAUSE
HE PUSHED IT RIGHT HERE,Copy !req
299. AND THEN THE BACK OF MY HEAD
HIT THE TREE.Copy !req
300. IT WAS—IT WAS—THERE WAS BARK
AND IT SCRATCHED IT.Copy !req
301. DID YOU SEE THE SCRATCH,
KENNY?Copy !req
302. - PLEASE,
EMPEROR AKISHINO,Copy !req
303. WE NEED JAPAN'S HELP
TO FIGHT THESE PEOPLE.Copy !req
304. FINE, BUT YOU JAPS WILL ALL BE
EATING HOAGIES IN A MONTH!Copy !req
305. THAT'S IT.Copy !req
306. NOBODY'S GONNA HELP US.
WE'RE ON OUR OWN.Copy !req
307. - WE CAN'T TAKE ON
ALL OF JERSEY.Copy !req
308. WE HAVE TO FIND SUPPORT!Copy !req
309. - THERE IS NO SUPPORT.Copy !req
310. EVERY ALLY AMERICA HAD IS—
WAIT A MINUTE.Copy !req
311. SOMETIMES WHEN A THREAT
IS GREAT ENOUGH,Copy !req
312. YOU HAVE TO TURN
TO YOUR ENEMIES FOR HELP.Copy !req
313. - WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?Copy !req
314. - WE COULD ASK AL-QAEDA.Copy !req
315. - ASK AL-QAEDA FOR HELP?Copy !req
316. AFTER WHAT THEY DID TO US?Copy !req
317. - MAYBE IT'S TIME WE PUT
OUR DIFFERENCES ASIDECopy !req
318. AND FORGIVE THEM.Copy !req
319. - AND WHAT ABOUT THE FAMILIES
OF THE VICTIMS OF 9/11?Copy !req
320. THEIR FEELINGS MATTER FOR
ANOTHER TEN MONTHS, DAMN IT!Copy !req
321. - HEY!
HEY, WE GOT A PROBLEM!Copy !req
322. YOU GOTTA GET SOME PEOPLE
DOWN TO THE BAR QUICK!Copy !req
323. THERE'S TROUBLE!
- PEOPLE FROM JERSEY?Copy !req
324. - I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THE HELL I SAW.Copy !req
325. - IT TORE A HOLE
IN MY MEAT LOCKER.Copy !req
326. SMASHED THE CIGARETTE MACHINE
IN HALF.Copy !req
327. - ALL RIGHT, COME OUT NOW.Copy !req
328. MAKE IT EASY ON YOURSELF.Copy !req
329. - IT'S ONE OF THEM!Copy !req
330. THAT THING'S
FROM JERSEY TOO!Copy !req
331. - WHAT IS IT?Copy !req
332. - IT'S CALLED A SNOOKI.
IT'S VERY FAMOUS.Copy !req
333. - THAT THING IS FAMOUS?
WHY?Copy !req
334. - I DON'T KNOW!Copy !req
335. - WELL, WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?
LET'S KILL IT!Copy !req
336. SNOOKI!Copy !req
337. - DON'T LET IT GET AWAY!Copy !req
338. - WHERE IS IT?
- WHO WAS THAT?Copy !req
339. - AAH!
GET IT OFF OF ME!Copy !req
340. - SNOOKI SMUSH!
- SHOOT IT!Copy !req
341. - SO THEN HE GRABS MY THROAT,
RIGHT?Copy !req
342. AND HE SLAMS MY HEAD
INTO A TREE,Copy !req
343. AND THEN HE SCREAMS,
"I'LL SMASH YOUR TEETH IN."Copy !req
344. MY HEAD IS ALL, LIKE,
GASHED OPEN!Copy !req
345. - KYLE DID THAT?
GEE WHIZ.Copy !req
346. - I'M TELLING YOU, GUYS,
HE'S GETTING WORSE.Copy !req
347. THE JERSEY IN KYLE
IS COMING OUT.Copy !req
348. I DON'T SEE
ANY OTHER CHOICE.Copy !req
349. WE HAVE KIDNAP KYLECopy !req
350. AND LOCK HIM IN THE MEAT FREEZER
AT SIZZLER.Copy !req
351. HEY, KYLE.
'SUP?Copy !req
352. KIND OF NICE OUT TONIGHT,
HUH?Copy !req
353. HE HAS TO BE PUT AWAY,
AND HE HAS TO BE PUT AWAY NOW.Copy !req
354. - ARE YOU BEIN' SERIOUS?Copy !req
355. - THIS IS VERY SERIOUS,
BUTTERS!Copy !req
356. - YEAH, BUT LOCKING KYLE
IN A MEAT FREEZER,Copy !req
357. I MEAN, HE COULD DIE.Copy !req
358. - WELL, IF HE DOES,
TOO BAD.Copy !req
359. DID YOU SEE THAT SCRATCH
ON MY HEAD?Copy !req
360. HEY, KYLE.Copy !req
361. DUDE,
YOU SMELL RASPBERRIES?Copy !req
362. I SMELL RASPBERRIES.
HUH.Copy !req
363. WE NEED TO DO THIS NOW.Copy !req
364. AT SOME POINT, HE MIGHT START
SUSPECTING SOMETHING'S UP.Copy !req
365. - USTUGH YUR HAMOK UMMAN.Copy !req
366. - HELLO, MR. BIN LADEN.Copy !req
367. MY NAME IS RANDY, AND I'M
A GEOLOGIST IN AMERICA.Copy !req
368. I KNOW THAT AMERICA ISN'T YOUR
FAVORITE PLACE IN THE WORLD.Copy !req
369. BUT GOSH DARN IT,
WE NEED YOUR HELP.Copy !req
370. AS YOU MAY KNOW, WE ARE TRYING
TO STOP OUR ENTIRE COUNTRYCopy !req
371. FROM BECOMING NEW JERSEY.Copy !req
372. I BELIEVE THAT
IF WE DO NOT SUCCEED,Copy !req
373. JERSEY WILL SPREAD TO JAPAN,
RUSSIA, AND EVENTUALLY TO YOU.Copy !req
374. I KNOW YOU HAVE SEEN
COUNTLESS HORRORSCopy !req
375. IN YOUR LIFETIME,
MR. BIN LADEN,Copy !req
376. AND THAT YOU HAVE WITNESSED
THE VERY WORST OF MANKIND.Copy !req
377. WELL, NOW
I ASK YOU TO WATCH THIS.Copy !req
378. - DJ PAULY DELVECCHIO.Copy !req
379. - ALL RIGHT,
WE'VE GOT A SITUATION.Copy !req
380. - I'M THE SWEETEST BITCH
YOU'LL EVER MEET.Copy !req
381. - AAAAH!
SNOOKI WANT SMUSH SMUSH.Copy !req
382. - GO, VINNY!
GO, VINNY!Copy !req
383. - COME ON, YOU GUYS,
HURRY!Copy !req
384. - CARTMAN, WHAT THE HELL
ARE WE DOING AT SIZZLER?Copy !req
385. - I TOLD YOU, GUYS.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE IT.Copy !req
386. IT'S A MIRACLE!Copy !req
387. - WHAT KIND OF
FUCKING MIRACLE?Copy !req
388. - JESUS ANSWERED OUR PRAYERS,
YOU GUYS!Copy !req
389. IT'S SO COOL.Copy !req
390. IT'S RIGHT THERE
IN THE MEAT LOCKER.Copy !req
391. KYLE, GO CHECK IT OUT.
- WHY?Copy !req
392. - DUDE, GO SEE WHY!
IT'S A JESUS MIRACLE!Copy !req
393. - YOU JUST WANNA
LOCK ME IN THERECopy !req
394. BECAUSE YOU THINK
I'M ONE OF THEM.Copy !req
395. - NUH-UH.
SERIOUSLY. NUH-UH.Copy !req
396. - I'M NOT GOING IN ANY MEAT
LOCKER SO YOU CAN TRAP ME!Copy !req
397. - TRAP YOU? NO, NO, KYLE,
IT'S ACTUALLY... LIGHTS!Copy !req
398. HA HA!
IT'S A TRAP, KYLE!Copy !req
399. GET HIM
TO THE MEAT LOCKER!Copy !req
400. - DUDE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- BACK AWAY, GUYS.Copy !req
401. THIS IS FOR THE SAFETY
OF ALL OF US!Copy !req
402. I'M SORRY, KYLE,
BUT YOU CAN'T BE TRUSTED.Copy !req
403. - ALL RIGHT.
FINE, CARTMAN!Copy !req
404. YOU REALLY WANT ME TO GO
IN THERE, I'LL—Copy !req
405. DUDE, CARTMAN,
WHAT IS THAT BEHIND YOU?Copy !req
406. - KYLE, DO WE REALLY HAVE TO
RESORT TO THAT?Copy !req
407. - NO, I'M SERIOUS,
WHAT IS THAT BEHIND YOU?Copy !req
408. - YOU GINGER JERSEY JEW,
YOUR TACTICS DON'T WORK ON ME.Copy !req
409. - SNOOKI WANT SMUSH SMUSH!Copy !req
410. - DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK
IS THAT THING BEHIND ME?Copy !req
411. - GARRISON, I THINK THE
JERSEY PEOPLE ARE ADVANCING.Copy !req
412. WHERE'S RANDY?Copy !req
413. - HE'S STILL QUESTIONING
THAT NEW PRISONER!Copy !req
414. - ALL RIGHT, MR. SITUATION,
WE'LL TRY THIS AGAIN.Copy !req
415. WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE
DOING THIS?Copy !req
416. - BUT I TOLD YA!
IT'S JUST A JERSEY THING!Copy !req
417. - WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?Copy !req
418. - YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND.
IT'S JUST A JERSEY THING!Copy !req
419. - STOP PLAYING STUPID!Copy !req
420. - MAYBE HE REALLY IS STUPID,
RANDY.Copy !req
421. - NOBODY'S THIS STUPID!Copy !req
422. WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE
PLANNING?Copy !req
423. - IT'S JUST A JERSEY THING!Copy !req
424. YOU KNOW, YOU JUST GOTTA BE
FROM JERSEY TO GET IT.Copy !req
425. - HERE THEY COME!Copy !req
426. - IS IT THEM, RANDY?Copy !req
427. - YEP. THEY'RE FROM JERSEY,
ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
428. - YEAH!
- WHOO-HOO!Copy !req
429. - LET'S GO!
- YEAH!Copy !req
430. - LET'S GO CREEPIN'
IN THIS TOWN!Copy !req
431. - DON'T YOU TALK
ABOUT MY FAMILY!Copy !req
432. DON'T YOU TALK ABOUT
MY FAMILY!Copy !req
433. - THIS IS WHERE
WE MAKE OUR STAND!Copy !req
434. SOUTH PARK WILL NEVER BE
WEST JERSEY!Copy !req
435. - YEAH!Copy !req
436. - FUCK NEW JERSEY!Copy !req
437. - KEEP SHOOTING!
WE'RE SICK OF YOU, JERSEY!Copy !req
438. FUCK OFF!Copy !req
439. - AAH! AAH! GET IT
OFF OF ME!Copy !req
440. - SNOOKI WANT SMUSH SMUSH!
GET IT OFF OF ME!Copy !req
441. - WE GOT TO FIND A WAY
PAST IT!Copy !req
442. - WHAT DOES IT WANT?Copy !req
443. - SOUNDS LIKE
IT WANTS SMUSH SMUSH!Copy !req
444. - SMUSH SMUSH!
SNOOKI WANT SMUSH SMUSH!Copy !req
445. - NO!
YOU GUYS, IT'S RAPING ME!Copy !req
446. IT'S RAPING ME!
- JESUS CHRIST!Copy !req
447. WHAT THE HELL DO WE DO?
- OH, GOD!Copy !req
448. GET OUT OF HERE!Copy !req
449. - WHY?Copy !req
450. - AAH! AGGHH!Copy !req
451. NO!Copy !req
452. AAAAAHHH!Copy !req
453. AAAH! AAAAH!Copy !req
454. AAAAAAAH! AAAAAH!Copy !req
455. UHHHHHHHHH!Copy !req
456. - DUDE.Copy !req
457. - GET OUTTA HERE,
YA PIECE A GAHBAGE!Copy !req
458. YOU WANNA SMUSH,
GO CREEPIN' SOMEWHERES ELSE!Copy !req
459. - SNOOKI GET THE SMUSH
IN THE—Copy !req
460. - YOU'RE GAHBAGE!
YOU KNOW THAT?Copy !req
461. YOU'RE CABBAGE!Copy !req
462. - BAH BAH BAH
BAH BAH BAH BAH!Copy !req
463. SNOOKI BAH BAH BAH!Copy !req
464. - YOU GOT CABBAGE
IN YA MUFF!Copy !req
465. - YOU GOT CABBAGE
IN YOUR FUCKING MUFF!Copy !req
466. THANK YOU, KYLE.Copy !req
467. - THAT'S THE LAST OF IT!Copy !req
468. WE'RE OUT OF AMMO!Copy !req
469. - THEN WE'VE GOT TO START
FALLING BACK TO UTAH!Copy !req
470. - WHAT'S THE POINT?
CAN'T YOU SEE IT'S OVER?Copy !req
471. - WHO IS THAT?Copy !req
472. - IT'S AL-QAEDA!Copy !req
473. - GIVE 'EM HELL,
AL-QAEDA!Copy !req
474. - ON A COLD OCTOBER NIGHT,Copy !req
475. A SMALL TOWN IN COLORADO
STOOD UP TO NEW JERSEYCopy !req
476. AND FINALLY SAID,
"GO AWAY."Copy !req
477. OUR FORTITUDE WAS
THE INSPIRATION FOR OTHERS,Copy !req
478. AND NOW NEW JERSEY
IS SLOWLY RECEDINGCopy !req
479. BACK TO THE DESOLATE LAND
FROM WHENCE IT CAME.Copy !req
480. OUR COUNTRY
IS GETTING BACK TO NORMAL.Copy !req
481. AND WE OWE IT ALL
TO OSAMA BIN LADEN.Copy !req
482. - WELL, KYLE, LOOKS LIKE
YOU'RE TOTALLY BACK TO NORMAL.Copy !req
483. - YEAH, THE MORE DISTANCE
BETWEEN MECopy !req
484. AND THE OTHERS FROM JERSEY,
THE BETTER I FEEL.Copy !req
485. - YEAH, BUT YOU STILL
HAVE IT IN YOU.Copy !req
486. YOU SAVED MY LIFE, KYLE.Copy !req
487. DEEP DOWN INSIDE,
YOU'RE A MONSTER,Copy !req
488. BUT YOU'RE
MY LITTLE MONSTER.Copy !req
489. - I JUST HAVE ONE QUESTION,
KYLE.Copy !req
490. AT SIZZLER, WHEN YOU WERE
YELLING, "MUFF CABBAGE."Copy !req
491. WHAT'S MUFF CABBAGE?Copy !req
492. - IT'S A—
IT'S A JERSEY THING.Copy !req
493. - ON THIS DAY,
LET US ALL REMEMBERCopy !req
494. THAT NO PEOPLE ON THIS EARTH
ARE REALLY ENEMIES—Copy !req
495. ONLY FOLKS WITH DIFFERENCES.Copy !req
496. - TANGO IS DOWN.
TANGO IS DOWN.Copy !req
497. - WE GOT HIM!Copy !req