1. - CARTMAN, DUDE,
WHAT'S WRONG?
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2. - NOTHING.
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, OKAY?
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3. - DUDE, YOU'VE BEEN
SITTING AT YOUR LOCKER CRYING
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4. SINCE LUNCH BREAK.
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5. SOMETHING'S GOING ON.
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6. - IT'S JUST—THAT ESSAY
THAT GARRISON ASSIGNED US.
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7. - "WHAT I WANNA BE
WHEN I GROW UP?"
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8. - I DON'T LIKE THINKING ABOUT
WHAT I WANNA BE
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9. WHEN I GROW UP, ALL RIGHT?
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10. - WHY NOT?
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11. - BECAUSE WHEN I GROW UP,
I WANNA BE SOMETHING
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12. THAT I KNOW
I CAN NEVER BE, STAN.
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13. - CARTMAN, TELL US.
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14. - UGH.
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15. I WANNA BE
A NASCAR DRIVER, OKAY?
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16. WHEN I SEE
THE CAR RACES ON TV,
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17. THOSE LOUD ENGINES
AND PEELING WHEELS,
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18. IT'S SO COOL.
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19. - WELL, CARTMAN,
IF YOU WANT TO DRIVE NASCAR
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20. WHEN YOU GROW UP, YOU CAN.
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21. - OH, RIGHT.
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22. SOMEONE LIKE ME
CAN BE A NASCAR DRIVER.
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23. LOOK AT ME!
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24. YOU REALLY THINK
SOMEONE LIKE THIS
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25. CAN EVER BECOME AN AWESOME,
FAMOUS NASCAR DRIVER?
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26. - AW.
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27. CARTMAN, YOU CAN CHANGE THINGS
ABOUT YOURSELF.
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28. - NO, I CAN'T.
I'LL ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS.
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29. - DUDE, NO,
YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.
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30. - COME ON, YOU GUYS.
I HAVE TO FACE FACTS.
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31. NASCAR IS ONLY FOR POOR
AND STUPID PEOPLE.
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32. I DON'T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES.
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33. - WHAT?
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34. - I'M NOT POOR
AND STUPID ENOUGH TO DO NASCAR
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35. AND I NEVER WILL BE.
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36. - DUDE, I DON'T THINK
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37. JUST POOR AND STUPID PEOPLE
LIKE NASCAR.
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38. - OH, REALLY?
HEY—HEY, KENNY!
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39. - HUH?
- YOU LOVE NASCAR, HUH?
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40. - YEAH, DUDE,
I LOVE NASCAR!
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41. - YOU SEE?
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42. I TOLD YOU GUYS!
WHAT'S THE USE?
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43. IT'S JUST—IT'S HOPELESS!
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44. - CARTMAN, YOU ARE POOR
AND YOU ARE STUPID.
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45. - I KNOW YOU'RE TRYING TO
MAKE ME FEEL BETTER, KYLE,
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46. BUT A RICH SMART KID
HAS NO PLACE ON A RACETRACK.
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47. - DUDE, YOU ARE SO RETARDED!
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48. - THANKS, STAN,
BUT EVEN IF I WAS,
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49. I'D STILL BE TOO RICH.
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50. - HOW ARE YOU RICH?
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51. YOUR MOM PAYS
FOR EVERYTHING.
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52. - YOU GUYS REALLY THINK
I COULD DO THIS, DON'T YOU?
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53. YOU REALLY BELIEVE IN ME.
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54. - I BELIEVE THAT YOU'RE
A BROKE, IGNORANT, IDIOT!
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55. - THEN MAYBE I CAN
MAKE MYSELF BELIEVE IT, TOO.
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56. THANKS, YOU GUYS.
I'M GONNA GO CHASE A DREAM.
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57. - BUTTERS.
- HEY, ERIC.
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58. - BUTTERS, THE GUYS
HAVE BEEN TALKING TO ME,
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59. AND, WELL, THEY'VE GOT ME
PRETTY PUMPED UP.
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60. I'M PSYCHED, BUTTERS.
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61. I'M ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING BIG
AND I'M PSYCHED!
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62. - OKAY!
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63. - BUT I'M GONNA NEED
YOUR HELP.
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64. CAN YOU GET PSYCHED?
YOU GONNA GET PSYCHED UP?
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65. - YEAH, I'M PSYCHED!
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66. - GET REALLY PSYCHED UP,
BUTTERS!
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67. - I'M REALLY PSYCHED!
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68. YEAH, YEAH.
LET'S DO THIS!
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69. ALL RIGHT, I'M PUMPED!
I'M PSYCHED!
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70. - I'M GOING TO BECOME
A NASCAR DRIVER, BUTTERS.
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71. I'M GOING FOR THE GOLD.
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72. - NA-NASCAR?
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73. - I KNOW, I'M NOT
POOR AND STUPID ENOUGH,
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74. BUT I CAN CHANGE THAT,
BUTTERS.
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75. HERE. I WANT YOU TO TAKE
ALL MY MONEY.
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76. EVERY BIT OF IT, BUTTERS.
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77. $58.32.
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78. - YOU'RE GIVIN' AWAY
ALL YOUR MONEY?
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79. - JUST GET RID OF IT,
BUTTERS.
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80. DON'T TELL ME
WHERE YOU SPEND IT,
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81. AND DON'T EVER LET ME
HAVE IT BACK.
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82. FROM THIS MOMENT ON,
I AM POOR... LIKE KENNY.
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83. - YOU SURE YOU WANT TO
DO THIS?
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84. - I TOLD YOU
I'M SERIOUS, BUTTERS.
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85. THIS IS MY SHOT.
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86. I'M GONNA GET AS POOR
AND STUPID AS I POSSIBLY CAN.
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87. - ALL RIGHT, FOLKS,
WE WANNA THANK YOU ALL
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88. FOR COMING OUT
AND SUPPORTING NASCAR.
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89. - YEAH! SO COOL!
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90. - NOW, WHO'S READY
FOR SATURDAY'S BIG RACE?
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91. - WOO-HOO!
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92. - WE ARE REALLY EXCITED
TO BE PART OF
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93. THE FASTEST GROWING SPORT
IN AMERICA!
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94. - WOO-HOO!
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95. - NOW I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,
BUT I AM THRILLED
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96. TO WATCH NASCAR
FINALLY BECOMING
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97. A RECOGNIZED AS A RESPECTED,
LEGITIMATE SPORT!
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98. - YEAH! YEAH!
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99. - HELLO! EXCUSE ME!
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100. I KNOW THAT YOU NASCAR PEOPLE
DON'T HAVE VERY MUCH.
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101. SO I WENT OUT
AND BOUGHT YOU ALL
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102. $58 WORTH OF CANNED FOOD AND
BLANKETS.
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103. YOU'RE WELCOME.
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104. HEH! I HELPED THE NEEDY!
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105. - BOY, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
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106. IT IS RAINING
CATS AND DOGS OUTSIDE.
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107. MOSTLY CATS.
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108. I JUST WISH I HAD BROUGHT
AN UMBRELLA.
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109. - HEY, ERIC!
- AH, BUTTERS!
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110. DID YOU GIVE AWAY
ALL MY MONEY?
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111. - YUP! YOU DON'T HAVE
A PENNY LEFT!
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112. YOU'RE POOR AS SHIT.
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113. HOW COME
YOU'RE HANGING UPSIDE DOWN?
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114. - I NEED TO GET STUPID,
BUTTERS.
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115. I'M GETTING ALL THE BLOOD
TO RUSH TO MY HEAD
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116. AND WATCHING A MARATHON
OF TWO AND A HALF MEN.
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117. - HEY, THAT'S A HOT GIRL
OVER THERE.
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118. - SURE, SHE'S HOT.
SHE'S WEARING A SWEATER!
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119. - UGH.
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120. - FEEL STUPID YET?
- NOT YET.
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121. - WHEN A WOMAN ISN'T
FEELING HER FRESHEST,
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122. SHE TURNS TO VAGISIL.
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123. - OH, GOD DAMN IT.
ANOTHER VAGISIL COMMERCIAL?
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124. - TO STOP FEMININE ITCHING
AND RELIEVE VAGINAL ODORS.
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125. - FUCKING GROSS!
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126. - ALL THOSE LADIES
HAVE STINKY VAGINAS?
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127. - IF YOU DEVELOP AN ALLERGIC
REACTION, SEE YOUR DOCTOR.
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128. IN SOME CASES, VAGISIL CAN LEAD
TO SHORT-TERM MEMORY LOSS.
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129. FOR THE FRESHEST,
CLEANEST FEMININE AREA...
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130. - WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA!
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
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131. IN SOME CASES,
VAGISIL CAN LEAD TO
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132. SHORT-TERM MEMORY LOSS.
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133. OH, MY GOD, BUTTERS.
WE NEED VAGISIL.
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134. - VAGISIL,
VAGISIL MAXIMUM STRENGTH,
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135. VAGISIL WASH,
VAGISIL MEDICATED WIPES.
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136. - GEE WHIZ!
THERE'S VAGI-EVERYTHINGS!
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137. - WHICH ONE DO I USE
TO KILL BRAIN CELLS?
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138. WELL, JUST BUY ME ONE OF
EACH OF THEM, BUTTERS.
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139. - I'M BUYING?
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140. - I'M TOTALLY POOR, BUTTERS.
DID YOU FORGET?
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141. - BUT I-I DIDN'T BRING
ANY MONEY.
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142. I DIDN'T KNOW
I HAD TO BUY VAGISIL.
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143. - GOD DAMN IT, BUTTERS!
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144. ALL RIGHT, JUST—
JUST KEEP A LOOKOUT.
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145. I'LL TRY IT HERE.
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146. LOOK THAT WAY, MAKE SURE
THE CASHIER DOESN'T SEE ME.
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147. THERE. OKAY.
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148. IS ANYBODY COMING?
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149. - NO, YOU'RE GOOD.
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150. - OH, OKAY, NOW...
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151. - LITTLE BOY,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
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152. - OH, MY GOD, BUTTERS!
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153. I FEEL KIND OF STUPID!
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154. - REALLY?
- YES!
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155. YES, I'M FEELING
TOTALLY STUPID RIGHT NOW!
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156. - THAT WAS FAST!
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157. - GRAB WHAT YOU CAN
AND LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
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158. I'M READY.
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159. - WE ARE JUST SECONDS AWAY
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160. FROM THE START
OF THE DENVER 300!
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161. - EXCUSE ME!
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162. MR. EVANS, SIR?
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163. YOUR—YOUR WIFE
IS ON THE PHONE.
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164. SHE JUST GOT RAPED.
- WHAT?
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165. - YEAH, SHE GOT RAPED A LOT,
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166. AND YOU GOTTA TALK TO HER.
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167. - OH, MY GOD!
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168. - SWEET!
NICE WORK, BUTTERS.
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169. NOW GO BE MY SPOTTER
SO WE CAN WIN THIS THING.
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170. - ERIC, ARE YOU SURE
YOU CAN DO THIS?
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171. - DON'T WORRY, BUTTERS,
I'M TOTALLY POOR AND STUPID.
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172. I'M READY FOR NASCAR.
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173. - LET THE RACE BEGIN!
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174. - LET'S GO NASCAR!
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175. I'M NOT MOVING, BUTTERS.
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176. - I THINK YOU GOTTA PRESS
THE GAS PEDAL.
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177. - WHAT'S THAT?
- THERE'S LIKE A LONG PEDAL
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178. ON THE FLOOR
BY YOUR RIGHT FOOT.
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179. - OH, OKAY.
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180. LET'S GO NASCAR!
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181. - IT LOOKS LIKE
THE DALE EVANS' CAR
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182. IS GOING THE WRONG WAY!
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183. - COOL, NASCAR!
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184. SWEET!
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185. - AAH!
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186. - OH, FUCK MY ASS!
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187. - ERIC?
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188. - ALL THAT WORK,
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189. ALL THE EFFORT I PUT IN,
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190. I STILL WASN'T POOR
AND STUPID ENOUGH TO WIN.
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191. - ERIC, YOU WERE AS POOR
AND STUPID AS YOU COULD BE.
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192. - DON'T YOU GET IT, BUTTERS?
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193. IT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN
FOR ME!
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194. THOSE PEOPLE ARE WAY MORE POOR
AND STUPID THAN I'LL EVER BE!
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195. I MIGHT AS WELL KILL MYSELF.
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196. - ERIC! DON'T EVER
TALK LIKE THAT!
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197. - I'VE GIVEN AWAY
ALL MY MONEY,
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198. DRANK ENOUGH VAGISIL TO KILL
EVERY BRAIN CELL I HAVE,
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199. BUT IT STILL WASN'T ENOUGH!
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200. - ALL RIGHT, ERIC,
WE GOT THE X-RAYS BACK.
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201. - HOW BAD IS IT, DOCTOR?
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202. - HE HAS TWO FRACTURED RIBS,
A BROKEN FEMUR,
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203. TORN LIGAMENTS
IN BOTH KNEES,
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204. AND A LEVEL TWO CONCUSSION.
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205. HE ALSO APPEARS
TO BE DEVELOPING
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206. THREE SMALL VAGINAS
IN HIS STOMACH,
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207. BUT THEY ARE
ALL SPARKLING CLEAN.
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208. - WELL, AT LEAST
THERE'S THAT.
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209. - JUST PULL THE PLUG ON ME,
DOCTOR.
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210. I DON'T WANT TO LIVE
LIKE THIS.
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211. - YOU AREN'T ON LIFE SUPPORT.
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212. PULLING A PLUG
WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING.
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213. - OH, DONKEY BALLS.
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214. - YOU ARE LUCKY
TO BE ALIVE, YOUNG MAN.
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215. SNEAKING ONTO
A NASCAR RACETRACK
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216. AND HIJACKING A CAR
FOR A JOYRIDE.
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217. THAT HAS GOT TO BE
THE STUPIDEST THING
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218. I'VE EVER HEARD
OF A KID DOING.
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219. - THANKS, DOC,
BUT YOU AREN'T GOING TO
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220. MAKE ME FEEL ANY BETTER.
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221. - NO, REALLY.
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222. OF ALL THE IDIOTIC, DUMB WAYS
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223. I'VE SEEN KIDS
INJURE THEMSELVES,
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224. YOURS TAKES THE RETARD CAKE!
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225. - DID YOU HEAR THAT, ERIC?
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226. SEE? YOU ARE REALLY STUPID.
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227. - COULD IT BE
I ONLY LOST THE RACE
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228. BECAUSE I SOMEHOW WASN'T
POOR ENOUGH?
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229. - IT HAS TO BE, ERIC.
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230. - ERIC, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
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231. - GET ME MY COAT, BUTTERS.
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232. WE'RE GONNA TRY
THIS THING AGAIN.
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233. - YOU'RE WATCHING
COLORADO FOX 11.
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234. NEXT ON FOX 11 NEWS,
ARE NASCAR FANS STUPID?
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235. SOME PEOPLE
ARE STARTING TO WONDER
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236. AFTER A NASCAR FAN
APPARENTLY GOT HIGH ON VAGISIL
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237. AND SNUCK ONTO THE TRACK
KILLING 11 PEOPLE.
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238. - TOM, THE NASCAR FAN
GOT INTO A CAR HERE ON SUNDAY
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239. AND CRASHED IN THE LAKE
BEHIND ME.
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240. HE WAS LATER FOUND
TO HAVE INGESTED THIS,
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241. MAXIMUM STRENGTH VAGISIL,
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242. AND ALSO
VAGISIL MEDICATED WIPES,
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243. MAKING NASCAR FANS
LOOK PRETTY STUPID, TOM.
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244. - NO!
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245. NASCAR FANS AREN'T STUPID.
CARTMAN IS!
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246. - THE NASCAR FAN VOWS
HE WILL TRY TO DO IT AGAIN,
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247. BUT THAT THIS TIME,
HE'LL WIN.
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248. - OH, HEY, KENNY!
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249. - COME IN, DUDE, I WANNA SHOW
YOU WHAT I'VE BEEN WORKING ON!
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250. CHECK IT OUT!
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251. I THOUGHT I COULD JUST GIVE
ALL MY MONEY AWAY
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252. AND BE AS POOR
AS YOUR FAMILY,
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253. BUT THEN I REALIZED,
WHAT DO POOR PEOPLE DO?
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254. BUY THINGS EVEN THOUGH
THEY DON'T HAVE MONEY
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255. BY GOING OUT AND PURCHASING
THINGS THAT ARE 0% DOWN
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256. AND NO PAYMENTS
FOR TWO YEARS!
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257. THAT'S HOW YOU PEOPLE STAY POOR
FOREVER!
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258. AM I RIGHT?
THAT'S IT, RIGHT?
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259. - KENNY, I'M JUST TRYING TO
GET GOOD AT NASCAR.
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260. - BEING POOR
HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH NASCAR!
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261. - HEY, I LOVE NASCAR
JUST AS MUCH AS YOU DO!
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262. - OH, IT'S SO EASY FOR YOU,
ISN'T IT, KENNY?
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263. I'VE HAD TO BECOME POOR
ALL ON MY OWN, YOU KNOW?
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264. I WASN'T BORN WITH
A PLASTIC SPOON IN MY MOUTH.
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265. - WHAT?
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266. - I'VE HAD TO GO BUY STUFF
WITH 0% DOWN AND NO PAYMENTS
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267. FOR TWO YEARS MYSELF.
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268. I DIDN'T HAVE PARENTS TO GO
DO IT FOR ME LIKE YOU DO.
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269. LOOK, KENNY—KENNY.
WE SHOULDN'T BE FIGHTING.
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270. WE BOTH LOVE NASCAR
AND WE'RE BOTH POOR AS SHIT.
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271. - UH, EXCUSE ME.
ERIC CARTMAN?
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272. - YEAH.
- MY NAME IS GEOFF HAMMIL.
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273. I'M THE FOUNDER
AND C.E.O. OF VAGISIL.
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274. - UH-OH.
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275. - YOUNG MAN,
YOUR NASCAR STUNT
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276. HAS BROUGHT A LOT
OF ATTENTION TO VAGISIL,
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277. AND HONESTLY... I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO THANK YOU.
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278. OUR SALES ARE UP AND WOMEN
ARE FINALLY REALIZING
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279. THAT THEIR FEMININE ODOR
CAN BE TREATED.
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280. I FIRST CREATED VAGISIL
FOR MY WIFE, PATTY.
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281. SHE'S MY MUSE, MY FLAME.
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282. WE REALIZE THAT NASCAR CAN DO
A LOT FOR PRODUCT RECOGNITION.
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283. AND SO, VAGISIL
HAS A LITTLE PRESENT FOR YOU.
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284. - OH, SWEET!
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285. NO WAY!
THIS IS SO TITS!
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286. - VAGISIL WOULD LIKE YOU TO
REPRESENT US
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287. IN THE NEXT NASCAR RACE.
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288. - DUDE, CHECK IT OUT KENNY!
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289. MY VERY OWN NASCAR!
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290. - AND WE'VE MODIFIED
THE COCKPIT
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291. TO BE OPERATED PROPERLY
BY A CHILD.
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292. - OH, COOL, HUH, KENNY?
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293. I GOT A NASCAR, KENNY!
SO AWESOME, HUH, KENNY?
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294. - WE ARE NOW LIVE AT
THE NASCAR PRESS CONFERENCE
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295. WHERE THE DRIVERS OF SATURDAY'S
RACE ARE GEARING UP
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296. AND TAKING QUESTIONS
FROM REPORTERS.
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297. - SO WHAT'S YOUR GUYS' TAKE
ON THE TRACK HERE?
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298. ANY CONCERNS?
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299. - WELL, I THINK
IT'S A FINE TRACK.
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300. YOU KNOW, THE TECHS HAVE DONE
A REALLY GOOD JOB
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301. OF MAKING SURE THE BANKS
ARE GRAFTED DOWN
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302. TO THE RIGHT SPECS AND THERE
SHOULDN'T BE ANY PROBLEM—
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303. - YEAH, WE LIKE
THE TRACK, YUP.
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304. WE GOT GRAFTED BANKS
AND SPECS.
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305. IT'S LIKE AN OVAL,
SO WE'RE GONNA DRIVE STRAIGHT
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306. AND THEN WE'RE GONNA BE
TURNIN' TO THE LEFT.
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307. - UH, THEY'RE SAYING
HOT WEATHER TOMORROW.
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308. ANY CONCERNS ABOUT RESTRICTOR
PLATE OR BRAKE FADE PROBLEMS?
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309. - OF COURSE, ANY TIME YOU'RE
DEALING WITH HIGH HUMIDITY
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310. AND TEMPERATURES YOU NEED TO
COMPENSATE YOUR BRAKE FLUID,
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311. BUT THE PLATES THEMSELVES—
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312. - COMPENSATE YER BRAKE FLUID
AND GET YER—
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313. GET YER BRAKE WORKING
SO YOU CAN STOP SOMETIMES.
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314. - EXCUSE ME, WHO IS THIS KID?
IS HE EVEN A DRIVER?
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315. - OOOH, BRING IT ON,
EARNHARDT!
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316. YOU SCARED OF THE COMPETITION?
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317. I'M JUST AS POOR
AND STUPID AS YOU!
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318. I'M GONNA DRIVE
AND I'M GONNA GO FAST
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319. AND I'M GONNA TURN
TO THE LEFT SOMETIMES!
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320. - CAN WE JUST GET BACK TO
THE SUBJECT OF RACING, PLEASE?
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321. - OHO, BRING IT ON, DANICA,
YOU DUMB BITCH.
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322. THINK I CAN'T STEER LEFT
BETTER THAN YOU?
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323. - YOU SEEMED
REALLY STUPID, ERIC!
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324. - THANKS, B-BUDS.
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325. I REALLY THINK I CAN HOLD MY OWN
AGAINST THESE GUYS.
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326. LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT THAT
JIMMIE JOHNSON GUY, THOUGH.
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327. HE SEEMS DUMBER THAN SPIT.
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328. AND THAT DANICA PATRICK CHICK?
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329. WHEW! WE'RE GONNA NEED TO
GET EVEN POORER
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330. AND STUPIDER, BUTTERS—
BOTH OF US.
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331. - ALL RIGHT, FROM THE NFL
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332. WE NOW TURN TO THE WORLD
OF NASCAR.
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333. PEOPLE WHO WEREN'T SURE
WHAT TO THINK OF NASCAR
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334. ARE MORE SURE TODAY
AFTER A NASCAR DRIVER
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335. RELEASED BIGOTED AND IGNORANT
STATEMENTS ON HIS PODCAST.
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336. - ALL RIGHT,
WHAT'S UP NASCAR FANS?
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337. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YA'LL,
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338. BUT THIS PRESIDENT OBAMA IS
PISSIN' ME OFF.
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339. SO I'M GONNA DO SOME DIP
AND SPEAK MY MIND.
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340. TODAY I'M GONNA BE DIPPIN'...
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341. VAGISIL REGULAR STRENGTH
ANTI-ITCH CREAM.
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342. OH, YEAH. YEAH, THAT'S
A BIG DIGGER RIGHT THERE.
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343. SO I'M PRETTY PISSED OFF
AT WHAT I FOUND OUT.
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344. I FOUND THIS OBAMA
WANTS TO PUT
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345. A BIGGER TAX ON GASOLINE.
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346. WHAT THE FUCK
IS UP WITH THAT?
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347. THAT'S FUCKING GAY.
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348. AND HE'S FUCKING GAY
AS HELL.
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349. Y'ALL KNOW
MY PIT BOSS, BUTTERS.
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350. - OBAMA'S FUCKING GAY.
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351. - HE'S FUCKING GAY AS HELL.
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352. - PISSES ME OFF.
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353. - SO Y'ALL BE SURE TO
CATCH US IN OUR NEXT RACE.
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354. WE'RE ABOUT AS POOR AND STUPID
AS THEY FUCKING COME,
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355. SO COME DOWN AND CHEER FOR US
AT NASCAR ON SATURDAY.
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356. OBAMA'S GAY AS HELL!
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357. - WELL, IF YOU ASK ME,
THAT'S ALL THE PROOF WE NEED
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358. THAT NASCAR REALLY IS JUST
FOR THE POOR AND THE STUPID.
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359. - THE STAGE IS SET
FOR WHAT COULD BE
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360. THE MOST IMPORTANT RACE
OF THE NASCAR YEAR.
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361. - LOTS OF SPECULATION
AND INTEREST
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362. IN THE VAGISIL CAR,
DRIVEN BY ERIC CARTMAN.
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363. WE'RE JOINED NOW
BY THE INVENTOR
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364. AND OWNER OF VAGISIL,
GEOFF HAMMIL.
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365. - THANK YOU, CHRIS.
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366. - GEOFF, WHY DID YOU DECIDE TO
SPONSOR A NASCAR DRIVER?
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367. - VAGISIL IS VERY EXCITED
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368. TO BE PART OF THE NASCAR
PHENOMENON, CHRIS.
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369. YOU KNOW,
I FIRST CREATED VAGISIL
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370. TO TRY AND HELP
MY WIFE, PATTY.
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371. SHE IS MY MUSE, MY FLAME.
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372. WHEREVER PATTY GOES,
HER SMILE LIGHTS UP THE ROOM.
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373. HER VAGINA, ON THE OTHER HAND,
CLEARS THE ROOM
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374. AND MAKES IT UNINHABITABLE
FOR WEEKS.
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375. - OKAY.
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376. WELL, THE RACE
IS ABOUT TO START,
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377. SO WHY DON'T WE KICK IT BACK
DOWN TO THE TRACK?
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378. - GENTLEMEN,
START YOUR ENGINES!
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379. - ALL RIGHT, START YER ENGINES.
WHAT'S THAT MEAN?
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380. - THAT MEANS YOU FLIP
THE SWITCH THAT SAYS "ENGINE!"
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381. IS HE STUPID OR WHAT?
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382. - YEAH, HE'S A CHAMPION,
ALL RIGHT!
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383. - CHECK YOUR BAG,
PLEASE, SIR.
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384. NO, NO. SEE THIS WON'T DO.
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385. YOU CAN'T BRING A SNIPER RIFLE
ONTO THE TRACK.
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386. - AW, COME ON!
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387. - LOOK, NASCAR IS TRYING TO
CHANGE ITS IMAGE.
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388. IT'S PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT ARE
GIVING NASCAR A BAD NAME.
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389. - YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO
BUY ONE IN THE GIFT SHOP.
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390. - THE DRIVERS ARE
SLOWLY HEADIN' OUT
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391. TO FOLLOW THE PACE CAR.
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392. - I'M GONNA PRESS THE GAS PEDAL
AND I'M GONNA GO FORWARD.
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393. NASCAR! YEAH!
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394. - THIS IS JUST THE PACE LAP.
YOU DON'T GO FULL SPEED YET!
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395. - YEAH, JUST A PACE LAP.
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396. I'M GONNA HIT THE—
HIT THE BRAKE.
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397. - WHAT THE FUCK
ARE YOU DOING?
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398. - FUCK YOU,
DANICA PATRICK!
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399. YOU AIN'T HALF AS DUMB AS ME!
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400. GAS PEDAL!
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401. - OH, SON OF A BITCH!
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402. - WOO-WEE!
AIN'T NOBODY CAN STOP ME!
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403. - AND IT LOOKS LIKE
THE VAGISIL CAR
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404. HAS ALREADY CLIPPED
TWO OTHER DRIVERS
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405. AND TAKEN THEM
OUT OF THE RACE.
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406. - YEAH, THE OTHER DRIVERS
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407. ARE NOT GOING TO BE
HAPPY ABOUT THIS.
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408. WHAT DO YOU THINK,
MR. HAMMIL?
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409. - VAGISIL IS A COMPANY
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410. THAT REALLY STANDS BEHIND
ITS PRODUCT, CHRIS.
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411. WE WANT WOMEN TO KNOW
THAT VAGISIL IS EFFECTIVE.
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412. SAFE FOR USE EVERY DAY—
EVERY DAY!
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413. EVERY. DAY.
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414. AND AVAILABLE NATIONWIDE.
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415. - CAREFUL UP HERE
ABOUT 100 YARDS, ERIC.
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416. THERE'S A WRECKED CAR
ON THE RIGHT SIDE.
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417. YOU'RE GONNA WANNA WATCH
FOR IT, YOU HEAR?
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418. - OH, YEAH, I SEE IT.
- AAH!
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419. - YOU SEE THAT?
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420. DANICA PATRICK
TRIED TO GET IN MY WAY.
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421. THAT PISSES OFF.
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422. - THAT'S FUCKING GAY AS HELL.
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423. - OOP, I'M COMIN' UP
ON THAT TURN THINGY AGAIN.
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424. I GOTS TA STEER LEFT!
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425. - RUN!
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426. - GET OUT OF THE WAY,
YOU IDIOTS.
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427. I'M TRYIN' TO WIN
THIS DAMN THING.
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428. - THERE YOU GO.
YOU'RE BACK ON THE TRACK.
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429. - I'M BACK ON THE TRACK!
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430. - WHAT THE—KENNY?
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431. WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING?
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432. - GET OFF MY CAR, KENNY!
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433. - OH, MAN!
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434. NOW OUR FRIEND KENNY'S
TRYIN' TO BREAK THE WINDSHIELD.
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435. AIN'T THAT JUST GAY AS HELL.
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436. - AAH!
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437. - WE'RE TRADIN' PAINT!
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438. OH, IT'S SO EASY FOR YOU,
ISN'T IT, KENNY?
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439. I HAVE TO PROVE MYSELF!
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440. I FUCKING HATE YOU.
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441. - SORRY, DUDE,
I'M WINNING THIS RACE...
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442. WITH THE BRAKE.
BYE, KENNY!
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443. - AAAAAAHHHH!
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444. - OH, JESUS, THERE'S
A LITTLE BOY ON THE TRACK!
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445. - WELL, IT APPEARS THAT ALL
THE OTHER DRIVERS HAVE CRASHED
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446. AND ONLY
THE VAGISIL CAR REMAINS.
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447. LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO
WIN, MR. HAMMIL.
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448. - THIS IS SUCH A GREAT DAY
FOR VAGISIL, CHRIS.
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449. OUR PRODUCT AWARENESS WILL BE
AT AN ALL-TIME HIGH.
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450. FEMININE ODOR MUST BE TREATED
DILIGENTLY—VERY DILIGENTLY—
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451. PATTY?
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452. - IT LOOKS LIKE A WOMAN
IS TRYING TO TAKE OVER
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453. FOR JIMMIE JOHNSON'S CAR!
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454. - WHAT?
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455. - MA'AM, YOU ARE ON
AN ACTIVE RACETRACK.
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456. THIS IS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS.
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457. - LET ME TALK TO HER!
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458. PATTY!
PATTY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
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459. PATTY, PULL OVER THE NASCAR.
YOU'RE ACTING IRRATIONALLY.
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460. PATTY, DID YOU FORGET
TO TAKE YOUR MEDICATION?
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461. YOU KNOW HOW YOU GET WHEN YOU
DON'T USE YOUR VAGISIL.
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462. THERE SHOULD BE SOME IN YOUR
PURSE, MY MUSE.
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463. PATTY?
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464. - OH, YOU DUMB BITCH!
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465. BUTTERS, THIS BITCH
IS TRYIN' TO WRECK MY CAR!
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466. - I KNOW!
THAT PISSES ME OFF!
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467. THAT'S FUCKING GAY.
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468. - FUCKING GAY AS HELL.
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469. - PATTY, YOU ARE
MY MUSE AND MY FLAME.
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470. - THEY'RE NECK AND NECK
APPROACHING THE FINISH LINE!
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471. - OH, FUCK MY ASS AGAIN!
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472. - AAAHHH!
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473. - BIG CELEBRATION
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474. FOR THE LOWE'S
HOME IMPROVEMENT TEAM.
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475. - PATTY! HOW COULD YOU?
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476. YOU'VE RUINED US!
YOU'VE RUINED VAGISIL!
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477. - HA!
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478. - NO, NO, KENNY,
GO AHEAD.
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479. I DESERVE IT.
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480. I THOUGHT I COULD JUST
WALTZ ONTO A RACETRACK
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481. AND DO WHAT THESE PEOPLE DO,
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482. BUT I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY.
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483. THE TRUTH IS
I'M JUST TOO SMART.
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484. AND WITH HOW SMART I AM,
I'LL ALWAYS BE SUCCESSFUL
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485. AND THEREFORE HAVE MONEY.
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486. I JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT
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487. I'M TOO SMART AND RICH
FOR NASCAR.
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488. TIME FOR ME TO GIVE IT UP.
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489. ALL RIGHT, BUTTERS,
GIVE ME BACK MY MONEY.
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490. - HUH?
- THE $58.32 I GAVE YOU!
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491. I WANT IT BACK!
- BUT YOU—YOU SAID I COULD—
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492. - GOD DAMN IT, BUTTERS!
YOU BETTER HAVE IT!
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493. BUTTERS, YOU'RE ALWAYS
TRYING TO SCREW ME OVER!
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