1. ? i'm goin'
down to south park?Copy !req
2. ? gonna have myself a time?Copy !req
3. ? friendly faces everywhere?Copy !req
4. ? humble folks
without temptation?Copy !req
5. ? i'm goin'
down to south park?Copy !req
6. ? gonna leave my woes behind?Copy !req
7. ? ample parking day or night,
people spouting howdy neighbor?Copy !req
8. ? headin' on up to south park,
gonna see if i can't unwind?Copy !req
9. ?Copy !req
10. ? come on down to south park
and meet some friends of mine?Copy !req
11. - i've got
more friends than kyle!Copy !req
12. I've got
more friends than kyle!Copy !req
13. - How the hell do you have
more friends than me?Copy !req
14. - 'Cause people think
i'm cool, dude.Copy !req
15. - How many friends
do you have, kenny?Copy !req
16. - 63.
- What?Copy !req
17. How the hell do i only have
37 friends?Copy !req
18. - Aw, are you guys doing that
stupid facebook stuff again?Copy !req
19. - Stupid facebook stuff!Copy !req
20. - Why are you guys in here
wasting your time?Copy !req
21. We're supposed to be out
playing video games!Copy !req
22. - Stan, you don't get how cool
facebook has become.Copy !req
23. You can message your friends,Copy !req
24. play yahtzee
with your friends,Copy !req
25. even start
your own virtual farmCopy !req
26. and have your friends
visit it!Copy !req
27. - Dude, who the hell
wants to play yahtzee?Copy !req
28. - Stan, we know
it's hard to get started,Copy !req
29. but we have a little surprise
for you.Copy !req
30. - Yeah, dude, we made you
your own facebook page!Copy !req
31. - Surprise!Copy !req
32. - No! I told you guys
i don't wanna be on facebook!Copy !req
33. - Yeah, but now you can be
friends with all of us!Copy !req
34. - Yeah!Copy !req
35. - I'm not collecting friends
and i'm not building any farms.Copy !req
36. I don't want to get
sucked into this!Copy !req
37. - All right, fine, dude,Copy !req
38. you don't have to
add any friends.Copy !req
39. You can just be
like kip drordy.Copy !req
40. - Who?
- Kip drordy, the third grader.Copy !req
41. He's got no facebook friends.Copy !req
42. And he's had a profile
for more than six months!Copy !req
43. - Aw, gee that's so sad.Copy !req
44. Everyone should have one
facebook friend.Copy !req
45. - You guys are retarded.
I'm playing xbox.Copy !req
46. - There's really
people out thereCopy !req
47. without a facebook friend
in the world?Copy !req
48. That's so wrong.Copy !req
49. Ahhhhhhhh!Copy !req
50. Hahahaa!Copy !req
51. Ahhahahahah!Copy !req
52. Yeah!Copy !req
53. Mom! Dad!
I made a friend today!Copy !req
54. - Kip!
Really?Copy !req
55. - You did?
- Yeah!Copy !req
56. - Oh, son, that's wonderful!
- What's his name?Copy !req
57. - Kyle broflovski!Copy !req
58. He's a studentCopy !req
59. and his interests include
video games and reading!Copy !req
60. - Oh, is he a nice boy?Copy !req
61. - Oh, he's the best, mom!Copy !req
62. He has a green hat,
and he wants the worldCopy !req
63. to stop talking about ninjas!Copy !req
64. Ooh, i need to tell himCopy !req
65. what i'm currently
thinking about!Copy !req
66. What am i
currently thinking about?Copy !req
67. - Hey, stan, i was
on my computer at workCopy !req
68. and saw that you have
a facebook page now.Copy !req
69. - Yeah, dad,
i was kind of forced to.Copy !req
70. - Well, so, are you gonna
add me as a friend?Copy !req
71. - No, dad.Copy !req
72. I really don't want to
get more into it.Copy !req
73. - Oh, okay.Copy !req
74. So i'm... i'm not your friend,
then?Copy !req
75. - Dad, you are my friend.Copy !req
76. - But you just don't want to
add me as a friend.Copy !req
77. - Dad, it's just
a stupid click of a buttonCopy !req
78. that takes two seconds.Copy !req
79. - Right, but you don't have
the two seconds or...Copy !req
80. - i just want to do
my homework.Copy !req
81. - All right, fine.Copy !req
82. - Just to be clear,
you and i are not friends?Copy !req
83. - All right, dad!
I'll add you!Copy !req
84. - Oh, cool! Okay.Copy !req
85. - Mom, dad!
My best friend, kyle,Copy !req
86. he went to the dentist yesterday
and got two fillings!Copy !req
87. And today he's wondering
if hurt lockerCopy !req
88. really deserved the oscar!Copy !req
89. - That's great, kip!
- Yeah!Copy !req
90. - They sure are getting
to know each other.Copy !req
91. - It's amazing.Copy !req
92. You know kip spent the morning
at the boy's farm?Copy !req
93. - His friend lives on a farm?Copy !req
94. - Think i'll add
some more pigs.Copy !req
95. Ooh, maybe i should put in
another field of corn there.Copy !req
96. There we go!
Nice.Copy !req
97. 29?
No, i have 30 friends...Copy !req
98. Hey, what the hell is...Copy !req
99. oh, no!
Oh, shit!Copy !req
100. - Am i a joke to you?Copy !req
101. - What?Copy !req
102. - I just wanna know
is that all i am?Copy !req
103. A big joke?Copy !req
104. - Um, no?Copy !req
105. - You do have
a facebook page, stan!Copy !req
106. - Aw, god damn it. No, i just
got that because kyle...Copy !req
107. - i saw your page, stan.
Relationship status?Copy !req
108. Single?
- Relationship status?Copy !req
109. I didn't even
pay any attention to...Copy !req
110. - you like being single, stan?Copy !req
111. So that you can use facebook
to find other girls?Copy !req
112. According to your facebook page,
we aren't friends.Copy !req
113. - All right. I'll add you
as a friend... i'm sorry!Copy !req
114. - And you better change
your relationship statusCopy !req
115. to in a relationship!
- How?Copy !req
116. - By editing your profile
under basic information!Copy !req
117. - Okay! I'm sorry!Copy !req
118. Edit profile.Copy !req
119. Basic settings.Copy !req
120. Jesus christ.Copy !req
121. - Stan, why won't you
be friends with grandma?Copy !req
122. - Aw, dad, i just reallyCopy !req
123. don't want to pay attention
to this thing...Copy !req
124. - grandma is in the hospital,Copy !req
125. and you won't even
be friends with her!Copy !req
126. - All right, dad, i'll add
grandma as a friend.Copy !req
127. - That's better.Copy !req
128. Oh, and i sent you
a funny picture,Copy !req
129. and you didn't respond to it.Copy !req
130. - Dude, fuck facebook,
seriously.Copy !req
131. What the hell is this?
Podcast?Copy !req
132. - Welcome to cartman's
incredible podcast!Copy !req
133. Hello fellow facebookers.Copy !req
134. I am here to do one thing:
Get you more friends!Copy !req
135. Looking around facebook today,Copy !req
136. we see that since adding
loser kip drordy as a friend,Copy !req
137. kyle broflovski's stock
is plummeting.Copy !req
138. He had 55 friends
just two days ago.Copy !req
139. He's down to just 11
this morning.Copy !req
140. Run to your facebook account
and delete kyleCopy !req
141. from your friends list
because he is poison,Copy !req
142. and i don't see him making
a comeback any time soon!Copy !req
143. You're going to
want to dump kyle,Copy !req
144. and if at all possible,
add clyde donovan.Copy !req
145. Why? Birthday!Copy !req
146. That's right, clyde has
a birthday coming up,Copy !req
147. and his mom is taking everyone
to casa bonita.Copy !req
148. If you don't have clyde
as a friend,Copy !req
149. you're going to
want to add himCopy !req
150. because clyde's numbers
are about to go way up.Copy !req
151. And now word on the street!Copy !req
152. Word on the street!Copy !req
153. The rumors are now becoming
more than that.Copy !req
154. Jimmy and bebe have agreed to
share their friends!Copy !req
155. That's right, it looks like
we are about to have a merger!Copy !req
156. Merger!Copy !req
157. - So if you're a friend
of jimmy's,Copy !req
158. you're about to luck into
about 90 chick friends.Copy !req
159. And as we all know,
chick friends are worthCopy !req
160. almost triple
what dude friends are.Copy !req
161. That's all the time
i have for today.Copy !req
162. Remember, update that profile
and steer clear of kyle!Copy !req
163. Can i come in?Copy !req
164. - Sure, dude.Copy !req
165. - Dude, what's the matter?Copy !req
166. - I don't have any friends.Copy !req
167. - What?Copy !req
168. - I mean, i do, but...Copy !req
169. ever since i became friends
with that kip drordy kid,Copy !req
170. a bunch of my other friends
have started ignoring me.Copy !req
171. It would be fine except for
my farm is starting to shrink.Copy !req
172. I know that i should just
dump kip as a friend,Copy !req
173. but that's such
a terrible thing to do, and...Copy !req
174. i'm sorry.
I'm just so confused.Copy !req
175. I really need a friend
right now.Copy !req
176. - Okay, dude,
i'm here for you.Copy !req
177. - Okay, so then
get on facebookCopy !req
178. and fertilize my crops.Copy !req
179. - No.Copy !req
180. - Please!Copy !req
181. My farm hasn't expanded
in three days!Copy !req
182. - Dude, i've already had to
become friendsCopy !req
183. with all of wendy's friends
and my grandma's friends!Copy !req
184. I do not wanna start doing
all the farming stuff, too!Copy !req
185. I'm not getting
sucked into that!Copy !req
186. - You don't get
sucked into it!Copy !req
187. You don't get sucked in
at all!Copy !req
188. please!Copy !req
189. - Fuck!Copy !req
190. Okay.
It says i'm at your farm.Copy !req
191. - Okay. So now just click
on the little soil buttonCopy !req
192. and then maybe put a sign up
to comment on my farm.Copy !req
193. Okay. Now i can
read the sign you put up.Copy !req
194. - Okay. It says you and i
are now very good friends.Copy !req
195. - Yeah, we're
very good friends!Copy !req
196. We're very good friends,
stan!Copy !req
197. - So, kip, you spend more time
with your buddy kyle today?Copy !req
198. - Oh, yeah, dad!Copy !req
199. We've been having
the best time!Copy !req
200. I showed him
all the pictures of meCopy !req
201. in that silly halloween costume
last year!Copy !req
202. - Oh? What'd he say
about those?Copy !req
203. - He laughed out loud!Copy !req
204. And then he was rolling
on the floor laughing!Copy !req
205. - Sounds like you boys
had a ball!Copy !req
206. - Mom, dad, i'm all done.
Can i go hang out with kyleCopy !req
207. and tell him all about
what i had for dinner?Copy !req
208. - Well, it's a little late,
but it is friday.Copy !req
209. - I think
the more time you spendCopy !req
210. with your little friend
the better.Copy !req
211. - Wow, thanks!
- Have fun and be safe!Copy !req
212. - Ate pork chop for dinner.Copy !req
213. Had nice applesauce too!Copy !req
214. Ha, ha! Yeah!Copy !req
215. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!Copy !req
216. - "I think you look cute
in your bunny costume."Copy !req
217. - What?Copy !req
218. - "I think you look cute
in your bunny costume?"Copy !req
219. What is that supposed to mean?Copy !req
220. - I have no idea!Copy !req
221. - That's what susan92 wrote
on your facebook wall!Copy !req
222. You give girls pictures of you
in bunny outfits?Copy !req
223. Fuck you!Copy !req
224. - Susan92 is a friend
of my grandma'sCopy !req
225. and she's 92 years old!Copy !req
226. - Oh, hey, stan!Copy !req
227. I'm your friend brian
through your uncle jimbo?Copy !req
228. Hey, i commented
on your status,Copy !req
229. but i haven't heard back
from you.Copy !req
230. Could you give me a poke
sometime soon?Copy !req
231. - Fine.Copy !req
232. - Hey, kid!Copy !req
233. How come you ignored
my friend request?Copy !req
234. - I don't know you!Copy !req
235. - Yeah, well, i'm just a guy
that gets ignored, i guess!Copy !req
236. - Stan, grandma
said she poked youCopy !req
237. and you haven't
sent a poke back.Copy !req
238. - Dad, i didn't even want to
do this.Copy !req
239. - Stan, poke your grandma!Copy !req
240. - No. No!Copy !req
241. Screw this!
You know what?Copy !req
242. Edit profile.
Update profile.Copy !req
243. There!
Delete profile.Copy !req
244. "You have requested to delete
for facebook profile.Copy !req
245. "If this is an error,
hit cancel.Copy !req
246. "Proceed.
Delete your profile.Copy !req
247. "Are you sure?
Yes/no?Copy !req
248. Yes.Copy !req
249. "Are you totally sure?"Copy !req
250. Yes!Copy !req
251. - Can't let me do that?
What are you talking about?Copy !req
252. - I'm gonna have to put you
on the game grid.Copy !req
253. - Delete profile.
"Are you totally sure?Copy !req
254. Yes/no"...
yes. God damn it, yes!Copy !req
255. Delete!
Delete! Delete!Copy !req
256. Hey, dad?Copy !req
257. Dad?Copy !req
258. Oh, dude,
what the fuck?Copy !req
259. - All right,
get moving, profile.Copy !req
260. - Profile?
I'm not a profile!Copy !req
261. - Ignore.
- Aah!Copy !req
262. - Tom davis says hello
to linda green's profile!Copy !req
263. - Linda green likes how tom
davis has changed his status.Copy !req
264. - Excuse me. My name is...
- ignore.Copy !req
265. - Hey, could you
tell me how l...Copy !req
266. - ignore.
- Aw, god damn it.Copy !req
267. I got sucked into facebook!Copy !req
268. - I don't know what to do.Copy !req
269. I just can't seem to get
my friend numbers to go up.Copy !req
270. I'm desperate.Copy !req
271. That's why i came to you.Copy !req
272. - You're very smart, kyle.Copy !req
273. But the truth is,Copy !req
274. as long as you have
that kip drordy loserCopy !req
275. as a facebook friend,Copy !req
276. people view your friendship
as a liability.Copy !req
277. You gotta dump him.Copy !req
278. - I can't do that.
I'd just feel too bad.Copy !req
279. - Well, kyle,
then what you have to doCopy !req
280. is go outside
the normal circlesCopy !req
281. and try to make friends
with peopleCopy !req
282. who've never heard of kip.Copy !req
283. - I've been trying!Copy !req
284. But i just don't knowCopy !req
285. how to make totally new friends
on the internet.Copy !req
286. - It's not as hard
as it sounds, kyle.Copy !req
287. Have you ever heard
of chat roulette?Copy !req
288. - No. What's chat roulette?Copy !req
289. - Yup. Finding new friends is
easier today than ever before.Copy !req
290. We just set ourselves up
on webcam,Copy !req
291. and then the computer
will randomly put usCopy !req
292. with one
of the 50,000 people onlineCopy !req
293. also doing chat roulette.Copy !req
294. - Hey, that's kind of cool.Copy !req
295. - Uh-huh. All right.Copy !req
296. Let's see who our first
chat partner is.Copy !req
297. Connect.Copy !req
298. - Aw, that's some dude
jacking off!Copy !req
299. - Oh, yeah,
you get those sometimes.Copy !req
300. We'll just click to
the next person.Copy !req
301. There we go.
Hello?Copy !req
302. - That's just
a guy's penis, too!Copy !req
303. - Okay.
Let's try this one.Copy !req
304. - Dude, i don't want to see
a bunch of guys' penises!Copy !req
305. - Hold on, kyle!Copy !req
306. This is seriously
an amazing gathering placeCopy !req
307. where people
from all over the worldCopy !req
308. can share their thoughts
and ideas!Copy !req
309. Okay. That's a dude
jacking off, but...Copy !req
310. okay, dude jacking off.Copy !req
311. Penis, penis...Copy !req
312. penis, penis, penis.Copy !req
313. Ah, here's a guy.Copy !req
314. Hey, dude, how's it goin?Copy !req
315. - Hey.
- This is my friend kyle.Copy !req
316. He's looking
for some new friends.Copy !req
317. - Oh, yeah?Copy !req
318. - Oh, he's taking out
his penis.Copy !req
319. Okay. Next guy.
- Dude, screw this.Copy !req
320. I don't want to see
anymore!Copy !req
321. - Kyle, this is the way
the world works!Copy !req
322. If you wanna find
some quality friends,Copy !req
323. you can wade through
all the dicks first!Copy !req
324. - Excuse me.Copy !req
325. Could you please tell me
what the hell is going on?Copy !req
326. - No, you aren't my friend.Copy !req
327. Would you like to be
my friend?Copy !req
328. - No, i seriously
don't want any more friends.Copy !req
329. - Ignore.Copy !req
330. So anyway, i really like taking
long walks in the summer,Copy !req
331. you know, because...Copy !req
332. - okay, okay.
I'll be your friend.Copy !req
333. - Confirm.Copy !req
334. Ooh, tom davis is thrilled
to have become powerfulCopy !req
335. by adding a new friend!Copy !req
336. Here are some pictures
of my dog.Copy !req
337. And here he is
in some silly outfits.Copy !req
338. Can you comment on these?Copy !req
339. - Ugh.Copy !req
340. - Move it, profile!Copy !req
341. - Uh-oh.
- Why "uh-oh"?Copy !req
342. - They're taking him
to the gaming arena.Copy !req
343. - Looks like i'm gonna be
down a friend.Copy !req
344. - You are about
to face each other in combat!Copy !req
345. You will play the game
for the amusement of the users.Copy !req
346. Let the game commence!Copy !req
347. - Yahtzee?Copy !req
348. - One round only!
Begin!Copy !req
349. - Uh, i'm going to
count fives, my five box.Copy !req
350. - Can't we play on speeder bikes
or something?Copy !req
351. - Play, profile!Copy !req
352. - Yahtzee.Copy !req
353. Aah!Copy !req
354. - Dude jacking off,
dude jacking off!Copy !req
355. That's a dude jacking off.Copy !req
356. - That's it, cartman.
I'm out of here!Copy !req
357. Chat roulette is no way for me
to find new friends!Copy !req
358. - Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, kyle!Copy !req
359. Here's a nice
little jewish kid!Copy !req
360. - Hey. Hi there!
- Hello.Copy !req
361. - Hey, nice to meet you.
My friend kyle is a jew, too!Copy !req
362. - Oh. That's cool.
I was starting to thinkCopy !req
363. this was nothing
but dudes jacking off.Copy !req
364. - Hey, so do you wanna be
facebook friends?Copy !req
365. - Well, sure, if you'll come
and visit my farm.Copy !req
366. - Heck, yeah,
i'll visit your farm.Copy !req
367. You should check mine out too!Copy !req
368. - Honey, where's kip?Copy !req
369. I haven't seen him all day.Copy !req
370. - No, he's been out spending
the whole dayCopy !req
371. with his best friend kyle.Copy !req
372. I think
they're at the movies now.Copy !req
373. - Ah! Ha ha haaa!Copy !req
374. Ahghhghgh!Copy !req
375. Whoaaa!
Ha ha ahaaaaa!Copy !req
376. - Troublemaker!Copy !req
377. You were not supposed to survive
the game of yahtzee!Copy !req
378. You have made things
complicated!Copy !req
379. - I've made them complicated?
I don't even want to be here!Copy !req
380. - That's not
what your profile said.Copy !req
381. - My profile?Copy !req
382. God damn it,
my facebook profileCopy !req
383. has taken on
a life of its own!Copy !req
384. Where is it?Copy !req
385. - Your profile
is one of the most powerfulCopy !req
386. in all of facebook.Copy !req
387. You cannot stop it now.Copy !req
388. - Oh, yeah?
I can try.Copy !req
389. - After him!Copy !req
390. - Okay, i fed the pigs.Copy !req
391. Now i definitely
should water some fields.Copy !req
392. Oh, wow, cool!Copy !req
393. That jewish kid
put up a sign on my farm!Copy !req
394. "Hey, kyle.
Really like your farm."Copy !req
395. Oh, awesome!Copy !req
396. What the hell is that?
Stan?Copy !req
397. - You're an asshole, kyle!Copy !req
398. - What?Copy !req
399. - What's the one thing
i told you?Copy !req
400. That i didn't want to
get sucked into facebook!Copy !req
401. This is all your fault!Copy !req
402. - Dude, what are you doing?Copy !req
403. - What's it look like
i'm doing?Copy !req
404. I found your farm on facebookCopy !req
405. so you can help me
deal with this bullshit!Copy !req
406. You gotta go check
my profile status.Copy !req
407. - Profile status?Copy !req
408. - Just bring up
my facebook pageCopy !req
409. and see what it says
my status is!Copy !req
410. - Well, stan i have to harvest
my crops before it's too late.Copy !req
411. - Dude, fuck your crops!Copy !req
412. - Dude! Dude, okay!Copy !req
413. Stop! I'm sorry!Copy !req
414. It says that you are
currently hostingCopy !req
415. an online chat party
for all your friends.Copy !req
416. - Where?
- Cafeworld.Copy !req
417. - Son of a bitch.Copy !req
418. - An online chat party
for all his friends?Copy !req
419. Dude,
i should get over there!Copy !req
420. - Jesus christ.Copy !req
421. - Randy marsh
is at work right now.Copy !req
422. Work is boring!Copy !req
423. Randy marsh
is at work right now.Copy !req
424. Work is boring!Copy !req
425. - Butters stotch is enjoying
stan's chat party!Copy !req
426. - Herbert garrison
likes butter's comment!Copy !req
427. - Grandma marsh would like to be
friends with kevin donohue.Copy !req
428. - Kevin donahue accepts
grandma marsh's friendship!Copy !req
429. - Has anybody seen
my stupid profile?Copy !req
430. - Susan92 has pictures
of stan in a bunny costume!Copy !req
431. - Gary johnson thinks
the pictures are fantastic!Copy !req
432. - Wow, there's a lot
of profiles here!Copy !req
433. Kyle broflovski is amazedCopy !req
434. stan has so many facebook
friends!Copy !req
435. - Hey, kyle broflovski
is amazed isayahCopy !req
436. is also a facebook friend
of stan's!Copy !req
437. - Isayah zordon is deleting kyle
broflovski as a friend.Copy !req
438. - What? Why?Copy !req
439. - User saw your are friends
with kip drordy,Copy !req
440. who only has one friend.Copy !req
441. Kyle broflovski
is bad friend stock.Copy !req
442. - Aw, no, i'm not really
friends with him.Copy !req
443. - Ignore.
- Ugh, that does it!Copy !req
444. - All right,
all right, enough!Copy !req
445. Everybody just shut up!Copy !req
446. Where is profile stan marsh?Copy !req
447. - Right here.Copy !req
448. - Uh-oh.Copy !req
449. - "I'm sorry, kip, but i really
can't be your friend anymore.Copy !req
450. "It was a great ride,
but i must say good-bye.Copy !req
451. "This is the hardest thing
i've ever had to do,Copy !req
452. but ending a friendship
is never easy."Copy !req
453. - Ha ha ahaaa.Copy !req
454. - What do you want from me,
dude?Copy !req
455. - I'm your profile.Copy !req
456. And as you can see, i am much
more powerful than you.Copy !req
457. - Damn it! I should have
deleted you a long time ago!Copy !req
458. - Why do you think
i brought you in here?Copy !req
459. The fact of the matter is
i'm up and running nowCopy !req
460. with almost a million friends.Copy !req
461. I don't need you anymore.Copy !req
462. I have more friends than you'll
ever have in the real world.Copy !req
463. - Who cares?Copy !req
464. Friends shouldn't be
some kind of commodityCopy !req
465. for a person's status!Copy !req
466. - Who is more powerful,
the user or the profile?Copy !req
467. Let's end this
once and for all.Copy !req
468. - Let the final battle begin!Copy !req
469. - Fuckin' yahtzee again?
Seriously?Copy !req
470. - What did i tell you?
That's a large flush already!Copy !req
471. You don't have a chance
in here, user!Copy !req
472. Your pathetic little...Copy !req
473. - yahtzee.Copy !req
474. - What?Copy !req
475. - Yahtzee. Sixes.Copy !req
476. - No! It can't be!Copy !req
477. - Yahtzee!Copy !req
478. - No!Copy !req
479. Aah!Copy !req
480. - Oh...Copy !req
481. - Oh, thank god.Copy !req
482. - Hey, stan, my computer says
we're not friends anymore?Copy !req
483. - My facebook profile
went rogue, dad.Copy !req
484. Had to go into the circuitry
and do battle with it.Copy !req
485. I sent all my friends
somewhere else.Copy !req
486. - Oh, okay.Copy !req
487. So we're... we're not
friends then?Copy !req
488. - Fuck off, dad.Copy !req
489. - Ahhhh.Copy !req
490. Ahhahahahahahaha!Copy !req