1. - OKAY, KIDS.
LET'S TAKE OUR SEATS.Copy !req
2. THERE HAS BEEN
A CHANGE IN SCHOOL POLICY,Copy !req
3. AND SO I AM ASSIGNING
YOU ALL A BOOK TO READ.Copy !req
4. - AW, A BOOK?Copy !req
5. GOD, I HATE THOSE.Copy !req
6. - NOW, KIDS, THIS BOOK
IS VERY CONTROVERSIALCopy !req
7. AND HAS JUST BEEN TAKEN
OFF THE BANNED BOOKS LIST.Copy !req
8. - OH, REALLY?
SWEET.Copy !req
9. - IT'S CALLED
CATCHER IN THE RYE,Copy !req
10. AND IT HAS SOME
VERY RISQUE PARTS...Copy !req
11. - ALL RIGHT!Copy !req
12. - AND STRONG,
VULGAR LANGUAGE.Copy !req
13. - AND IN FACT, MANY SCHOOLSCopy !req
14. ACROSS THE COUNTRY
STILL BAN THIS BOOKCopy !req
15. BECAUSE IT'S THOUGHT TO BE
SO INAPPROPRIATE.Copy !req
16. - OH, MAN, I CAN'T WAIT!Copy !req
17. - TONIGHT I WANT YOU TO READ
CHAPTERS ONE THROUGH FIVE,Copy !req
18. AND TOMORROW
WE WILL DISCUSS THE—Copy !req
19. - NO, NO, COME ON,
LET'S READ IT NOW!Copy !req
20. - MR. GARRISON, DIDN'T THE
GUY WHO SHOT JOHN LENNONCopy !req
21. SAY IT WAS
BECAUSE OF THIS BOOK?Copy !req
22. - YES, APPARENTLY
JOHN LENNON'S KILLERCopy !req
23. SAID HE WAS INSPIRED
BY CATCHER IN THE RYE.Copy !req
24. BUT HE WAS JUST A KOOK.Copy !req
25. - WHOA, YOU'RE TELLING USCopy !req
26. THIS BOOK IS FILTHY,
INAPPROPRIATE,Copy !req
27. AND MADE A GUY
SHOOT THE KING OF HIPPIES?Copy !req
28. CAN WE PLEASE READ THIS
RIGHT NOW?Copy !req
29. - YOU WILL READ IT AT HOME,Copy !req
30. AND YOU WILL ALL BE MATURECopy !req
31. ABOUT ITS ADULT THEMES
AND LANGUAGE.Copy !req
32. AWW!Copy !req
33. - DID YOU GET
TO ANY DIRTY PARTS YET?Copy !req
34. - NO. IT'S STILL JUST
SOME WHINY, ANNOYING TEENAGERCopy !req
35. TALKING ABOUT HOW LAME HE IS.Copy !req
36. - I DON'T GET IT, DUDE.Copy !req
37. WHAT'S SO CONTROVERSIAL
ABOUT THIS?Copy !req
38. ALL HE'S DONE IS SAID "SHIT"
AND "FUCK" A FEW TIMES.Copy !req
39. - I KNOW. I'M ALMOST AT THE END,
AND THERE'S NOTHING.Copy !req
40. - MOTHERFUCKER!Copy !req
41. THE WHOLE THING—Copy !req
42. I READ THE WHOLE
FUCKING THING!Copy !req
43. I KEPT THINKING,
"ALL RIGHT,Copy !req
44. I GUESS THE COOL,
OFFENSIVE STUFF MUST BE COMING."Copy !req
45. AND THEN AFTER,
LIKE, A HUNDRED PAGES,Copy !req
46. I WAS LIKE, "ALL RIGHT,Copy !req
47. I GUESS ALL THE DIRTY STUFF
IS AT THE END."Copy !req
48. AND THEN I GOT
TO THE LAST PAGE,Copy !req
49. AND I WAS ALL,
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?"Copy !req
50. I JUST READ A BOOK
FOR NOTHING!Copy !req
51. - WHY THE HELL
WAS THIS BOOK BANNED?Copy !req
52. - THEY FUCKING TRICKED US,
THAT'S WHAT THEY DID.Copy !req
53. TRICKED US
INTO READING A BOOKCopy !req
54. BY ENTICING US
WITH PROMISES OF VULGARITY.Copy !req
55. - WE KNOW.
WE WERE JUST SAYING THAT.Copy !req
56. - WHY WOULD ANYBODY THINK THIS
BOOK IS OBSCENE OR DANGEROUS?Copy !req
57. - KILL JOHN LENNON.Copy !req
58. KILL JOHN LENNON.Copy !req
59. KILL JOHN LENNON!Copy !req
60. HEY, DAD, WHERE DOES
JOHN LENNON LIVE?Copy !req
61. - JOHN LENNON'S DEAD, BUTTERS.Copy !req
62. - AW, DANG IT.Copy !req
63. - DUDE, SOME PEOPLE REALLY DO
CONSIDER THIS OBSCENE.Copy !req
64. - IT'S NOT OBSCENE, DUDE.Copy !req
65. I'LL SHOW THEM
FUCKING OBSCENE.Copy !req
66. - HEY, YEAH, WE SHOULD WRITE
OUR OWN BANNED BOOK.Copy !req
67. - YEAH, WE COULD GET A BOOK
BANNED WAY MORE THAN THIS ONE.Copy !req
68. - YEAH, SWEET.Copy !req
69. - THE TALE OF...Copy !req
70. - THE TALE
OF SCROTIE MCDICKENASS.Copy !req
71. - OH, THAT—YEAH,
THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S GOOD.Copy !req
72. ALL RIGHT, "CHAPTER ONE"...Copy !req
73. - "IT WAS A—
A WARM SPRING MORNING"...Copy !req
74. - "THE TALE
OF SCROTIE MCBOOGERBALLS"?Copy !req
75. "IT WAS A WARM SUMMER MORNINGCopy !req
76. WHEN SCROTIE MCBOOGERBALLS
AWOKE TO FIND HIS"...Copy !req
77. EW.Copy !req
78. "HE TOOK A"...Copy !req
79. WHAT?Copy !req
80. OHH!Copy !req
81. UGH!Copy !req
82. OH, MY GOD!Copy !req
83. "HE THEN GRABBED
HIS DOG'S"...Copy !req
84. OH!Copy !req
85. OH! OH, MY GOD!Copy !req
86. "WALKING OUT OF HIS HOUSE,Copy !req
87. HE SPOTTED A BLOODY
AND PUS COVERED"...Copy !req
88. NO! NO!Copy !req
89. NO! NO!Copy !req
90. RANDY?Copy !req
91. RANDY!Copy !req
92. RANDY, YOU NEED TO READ THIS.Copy !req
93. - READ WHAT?
- THIS BOOK!Copy !req
94. OUR SON AND HIS FRIENDS
WROTE IT!Copy !req
95. - SO?
- SO?Copy !req
96. RANDY, IT'S—IT'S—Copy !req
97. IT'S REALLY GOOD.Copy !req
98. - HUH?
- I MEAN, IT'S DISGUSTING.Copy !req
99. IT'S—IT'S THE MOST DISGUSTING
THING I'VE EVER READ,Copy !req
100. BUT THE PLOT IS AMAZING,Copy !req
101. AND THE CHARACTERS
ARE SO VIVID.Copy !req
102. - "IT WAS
A WARM SUMMER MORNINGCopy !req
103. WHEN SCROTIE MCBOOGERBALLS
AWOKE TO FIND HIS"--Copy !req
104. EW! SHARON, GROSS!Copy !req
105. - NO, NO, JUST KEEP READING!Copy !req
106. - "HE TOOK A—AND THEN"...Copy !req
107. OH, MA—OH!Copy !req
108. THIS—Copy !req
109. - I KNOW, I KNOW.
RANDY, BUT TRUST ME.Copy !req
110. YOU GOT TO PUSH THROUGH
TO THE END.Copy !req
111. - NO, NO.
THAT'S JUST WRONG!Copy !req
112. - RANDY, PLEASE!
YOU'VE GOT TO LISTEN TO ME!Copy !req
113. - "WALKING OUT OF THE HOUSE,Copy !req
114. HE FOUND A BLOODY, PUS"--
WHAT?Copy !req
115. "WHICH HE IMMEDIATELY STUCK UP
HIS INFECTED"--Copy !req
116. "THAT WAS ALL LONG AGO,Copy !req
117. "IN SOME BRIEF, LOST SPRING
IN A PLACE THAT IS NO MORE.Copy !req
118. "IN THAT HOUR,
THE VAJ FROGS BEGIN,Copy !req
119. AND THE SCENT OFF SCROTIE'S
INFECTED ANUS COMES STRONGEST."Copy !req
120. UGH!Copy !req
121. OH, MAN.Copy !req
122. - WELL?Copy !req
123. - IT'S—IT'S AWESOME.Copy !req
124. SHARON, IT'S—IT'S
THE BEST BOOK I'VE EVER READ.Copy !req
125. - RIGHT?
IT'S NOT JUST ME!Copy !req
126. - NO, IT'S—I MEAN, THE WHOLE
PART ABOUT AMSTERDAM, WOW.Copy !req
127. - WHAT DO WE DO, RANDY?Copy !req
128. WE CAN'T SUPPORT OUR SON TALKING
LIKE THIS, BUT I-I MEAN...Copy !req
129. - NO, I-I KNOW.Copy !req
130. PEOPLE NEED TO READ
THIS BOOK, SHARON.Copy !req
131. THIS IS—THIS IS
PULITZER PRIZE STUFF.Copy !req
132. - OH, HO!
YOU'RE DEAD, KENNY!Copy !req
133. - VENGEANCE!Copy !req
134. - GUYS, GUYS!Copy !req
135. WE ARE TOTALLY FUCKED!Copy !req
136. THE BOOK IS GONE
FROM MY DRESSER DRAWER!Copy !req
137. MY PARENTS MUST HAVE FOUND IT!Copy !req
138. - WHAT?Copy !req
139. - SO WHY ARE WE ALL FUCKED?
THEY'LL THINK YOU WROTE IT ALL.Copy !req
140. - HEY, HEY, I'M NOT TAKING
THE HEAT FOR THIS ALONE.Copy !req
141. WE ALL WROTE IT.Copy !req
142. IF I'M GOING DOWN, SOMEBODY
HAS TO GO DOWN WITH ME.Copy !req
143. - WELL, IF I'M GOING DOWN,
CARTMAN'S GOING DOWN.Copy !req
144. - AND IF I'M GOING DOWN,
BOTH KYLE AND KENNYCopy !req
145. ARE DEFINITELY GOING DOWN.Copy !req
146. - WELL, DUDE,
SOMEBODY HAS GOT TO GO DOWN!Copy !req
147. - BUTTERS, WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?
- OH, HEY, FELLAS!Copy !req
148. I'M JUST WATCHING
THE KARDASHIANS.Copy !req
149. - TODAY MY SISTERS AND I ARE
GONNA HAVE TO WASH SOMETHING.Copy !req
150. IT'S GONNA BLOW!Copy !req
151. - KIM KARDASHIAN IS SO SEXY.Copy !req
152. HER BUTT IS LIKE
A BIG MOUNTAIN OF PUDDING.Copy !req
153. - BUTTERS, LISTEN,
YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE.Copy !req
154. - I AM?Copy !req
155. - YEAH, YOU REMEMBER
THAT BOOK YOU WROTE.Copy !req
156. STAN'S MOM FOUND IT.Copy !req
157. - OH, NO.
WHICH BOOK WAS THAT?Copy !req
158. - DUDE, THE BOOK
YOU LEFT WITH USCopy !req
159. WHEN YOU WERE
SLEEPWALKING LAST NIGHT.Copy !req
160. - I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER THAT.Copy !req
161. BUT IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.Copy !req
162. EVER SINCE I READ
CATCHER IN THE RYE,Copy !req
163. I'VE BEEN HAVING
THESE BLACKOUTS—Copy !req
164. CRAZY THOUGHTS OF WANTING
TO KILL THE PHONIES.Copy !req
165. I MUST HAVE CHANNELED
ALL MY ANGSTCopy !req
166. INTO DARK WRITINGS
IN MY SLEEP.Copy !req
167. - ALL RIGHT, BOYS, WE NEED
TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS.Copy !req
168. WE'VE ALL READ THE BOOK NOW,Copy !req
169. AND IT IS VERY SHOCKING,
TO SAY THE LEAST.Copy !req
170. - OKAY, WELL, ACTUALLY,
IT WAS ALL WRITTEN BY BUTTERS.Copy !req
171. - THAT'S RIGHT.Copy !req
172. - BUTTERS?
IS THAT TRUE?Copy !req
173. - YEAH, I BARELY EVEN
REMEMBER IT, BUT I KNOW I DID—Copy !req
174. - WELL, BUTTERS, WE THINKCopy !req
175. THAT THIS IS ONE OF THE OF
THE BEST BOOKS WE'VE EVER READ.Copy !req
176. - HUH?
- WHAT?Copy !req
177. - YEAH, REALLY AMAZING.Copy !req
178. - OH, THANKS.Copy !req
179. - WE WERE ACTUALLY SO MOVED
BY YOUR BOOK, BUTTERS,Copy !req
180. THAT WE BROUGHT
MR. NEEDLEBAUMCopy !req
181. FROM PENGUIN PUBLISHING
TO READ IT.Copy !req
182. - MR. BUTTERS, WE WOULD LIKE
TO OFFER YOU A DEALCopy !req
183. FOR FIRST PUBLISHING RIGHTS
TO YOUR BRILLIANT NOVEL.Copy !req
184. - HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
THAT'S OURS!Copy !req
185. - YEAH, WE WROTE THAT!Copy !req
186. - OKAY, BOYS,
YOU ALREADY TOLD THE TRUTH.Copy !req
187. - NO, NO,
WE—WE REALLY DID WRITE IT.Copy !req
188. TELL THEM, BUTTERS.Copy !req
189. - I WROTE THAT.Copy !req
190. - WHAT? HEY!Copy !req
191. - IT IS BEING CALLED
THE MOST DISGUSTING,Copy !req
192. FOUL, SICKENING BOOK
EVER WRITTEN,Copy !req
193. AND IT IS ALSO BEING CALLED
LITERARY GENIUS.Copy !req
194. THE TALE OF
SCROTIE MCBOOGERBALLSCopy !req
195. HIT THE SHELVES
THIS WEEKEND,Copy !req
196. AND SO FAR, NO ONE
HAS BEEN ABLE TO GETCopy !req
197. THROUGH THE FIRST PARAGRAPH
WITHOUT VOMITING.Copy !req
198. THE BOOK HAS ALREADY SOLD
MILLIONS OF COPIES WORLDWIDECopy !req
199. AND HAS BEEN TRANSLATED
INTO 26 LANGUAGES.Copy !req
200. SCROTIE MCBOOGERBALLS...Copy !req
201. - [continues reading
in native language]Copy !req
202. SARAH JESSICA PARKER...Copy !req
203. - THE BOOK IS CHANGING
THE LITERARY WORLD,Copy !req
204. AND IT IS ALL THANKS
TO LEOPOLD "BUTTERS" STOTCH.Copy !req
205. - HEY, HERE HE COMES.Copy !req
206. - AMAZING BOOK, BUTTERS.Copy !req
207. - THANK YOU.Copy !req
208. - YOU CHANGED MY LIFE,
YOUNG MAN.Copy !req
209. - THAT'S NICE.Copy !req
210. - BUTTERS, WHAT THE FUCK
DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?Copy !req
211. - JUST ENJOYING MYSELF.
WHY, ERIC?Copy !req
212. - BUTTERS, YOU KNOW GODDAMN WELL
YOU DIDN'T WRITE THAT BOOK.Copy !req
213. - BUT YOU TOLD ME I DID.Copy !req
214. - YEAH, BUT THAT'S
WHEN WE THOUGHTCopy !req
215. WE WERE GONNA GET
IN TROUBLE, ASSHOLE!Copy !req
216. - HEY, HEY, YOU GUYS LEAVE
BUTTERS ALONE.Copy !req
217. HE'S A VERY FRAGILE ARTIST.Copy !req
218. - HE'S SO BROODING
AND FULL OF ANGST.Copy !req
219. - YEAH, I'M BROODING.Copy !req
220. - BUTTERS DOESN'T DESERVE
ANY CREDITCopy !req
221. FOR SCROTIE MCBOOGERBALLS.Copy !req
222. WE DESERVE ALL THE CREDIT.Copy !req
223. - OH, GOD,
YOU GUYS ARE PATHETIC.Copy !req
224. - YEAH, GET A LIFECopy !req
225. AND STOP MOOCHING OFF
OTHERS' SUCCESS FOR ONCE.Copy !req
226. - GOD DAMN IT!Copy !req
227. - BUTTERS,
DO YOU REALLY THINK IT'S FAIRCopy !req
228. TO LIE LIKE THIS?Copy !req
229. LET ME TELL YOU,
IF YOU DON'T—Copy !req
230. - NO, LET ME TELL YOU
SOMETHING, FELLAS!Copy !req
231. YOU ALWAYS
TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME,Copy !req
232. AND AFTER READING
CATCHER IN THE RYE,Copy !req
233. I'VE LEARNED
YOU'RE NOTHING BUT PHONIES.Copy !req
234. I'M NOT LETTING YOU
TRICK ME THIS TIME.Copy !req
235. SO THE FOUR OF YOU
CAN JUST SUCK ON MY WIENER!Copy !req
236. - THAT INCONSIDERATE JERK.Copy !req
237. - TODAY ON TODAY...Copy !req
238. WE MEET THE AUTHOR OF THE BOOK
THAT HAS SWEPT THE NATIONCopy !req
239. AND HAS NOW SPAWNED
TV'S MOST POPULAR GAME SHOW!Copy !req
240. THE BOOK IS FULL
OF DISGUSTING WORDS AND ACTS,Copy !req
241. INCLUDING
SARAH JESSICA PARKER,Copy !req
242. WHO IS MENTIONED 465 TIMES.Copy !req
243. MATTHEW BRODERICK,
ARE YOU UPSETCopy !req
244. YOUR WIFE IS MADE FUN OF
SO MUCH IN THE BOOK?Copy !req
245. - WELL, OBVIOUSLY,
I JUST THINK IT'S WRONGCopy !req
246. TO MAKE FUN OF ANYBODY'S
PHYSICAL APPEARANCE.Copy !req
247. MY WIFE IS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN,Copy !req
248. AND I KNOW THAT MOST PEOPLE
AGREE WITH ME.Copy !req
249. - UH-HUH. AND, MATTHEW, HOW COME
A TRANSVESTITE DONKEY WITCHCopy !req
250. IS STANDING NEXT TO YOU,
AND WHY IS IT WEARING A DRESS?Copy !req
251. - JOINING US NOW IS THE AUTHOR
OF THE BOOK, LEOPOLD STOTCH,Copy !req
252. ALONG WITH HIS PARENTS.Copy !req
253. - HELLO, MATT.
- HI, EVERYONE.Copy !req
254. - YOU MUST BE PRETTY PROUD
OF YOUR SON.Copy !req
255. - OH, WE CERTAINLY ARE.Copy !req
256. WE'RE THRILLED TO LEARN
HE IS SO VERY TALENTED.Copy !req
257. - AND WE ALSO UNDERSTAND
THAT YOUR SON IS GROUNDED.Copy !req
258. IS THAT CORRECT?Copy !req
259. - YES, WE DID
HAVE TO GROUND HIMCopy !req
260. FOR THE LANGUAGE
IN THE NOVEL, OF COURSE.Copy !req
261. - I HAVE TO COME
RIGHT TO MY ROOM AFTER SCHOOL.Copy !req
262. - BUT WE ARE VERY,
VERY PROUD NONETHELESS.Copy !req
263. - YOUNG MAN, NOW THAT
YOU'RE A RESPECTED AUTHOR,Copy !req
264. HAVE YOU MET
ANY FAMOUS PEOPLE?Copy !req
265. - NOT YET, BUT AS SOON
AS I'M NOT GROUNDED ANYMORE,Copy !req
266. I'M HOPING TO MEET
KIM KARDASHIAN.Copy !req
267. I WANT TO JUMP ON HER BELLY.Copy !req
268. - ALL RIGHT, UH, BUTTERS,
MY FAVORITE PART OF YOUR NOVELCopy !req
269. WAS WHEN
SCROTIE MCBOOGERBALLSCopy !req
270. SLID HIS HEAD
UP INTO THE HORSE'S—Copy !req
271. SORRY.Copy !req
272. WAS THAT CHAPTER
A SLAM ON HEALTH CARE REFORMCopy !req
273. AS PEOPLE HAVE SUGGESTED?Copy !req
274. - UH, YEAH, PRETTY MUCH.Copy !req
275. I-I THINK—THINK SO.Copy !req
276. - IS THAT WHY
THE DOCTOR CHARACTERCopy !req
277. PULLS OUT ALL THE STRING—Copy !req
278. - LITTLE BOY,
ARE YOU EVER WORRIEDCopy !req
279. SOMEBODY MIGHT TAKE YOUR BOOK
WRONG AND TRY TO KILL SOMEONECopy !req
280. LIKE WHEN THAT GUY
TRIED TO SHOOT RONALD REAGANCopy !req
281. AFTER READING
CATCHER IN THE RYE?Copy !req
282. - OH, IS THAT WHO THE BOOK
WAS TELLING ME TO KILL?Copy !req
283. OH.Copy !req
284. KILL RONALD REAGAN.
KILL RONALD REAGAN!Copy !req
285. - RONALD REAGAN
IS DEAD NOW, BUTTERS.Copy !req
286. - OH, REALLY?Copy !req
287. AH, GOSH DANG IT.Copy !req
288. - MORE AND MORE OF US ARE
AGAINST THIS BOOK EVERY DAY.Copy !req
289. THE AUTHOR IS CRUEL
AND OFFENSIVE.Copy !req
290. AND FOR THESE REASONS,
WE DEMAND THIS BOOK BE BANNEDCopy !req
291. FROM ALL SCHOOLS,
STORES, AND LIBRARIES.Copy !req
292. THIS BOOK IS NOTHING
BUT SMUT AND VULGARITYCopy !req
293. PURELY FOR THE SAKE
OF SMUT AND VULGARITY.Copy !req
294. - THAT'S JUST BECAUSE
YOU'RE TOO YOUNGCopy !req
295. TO UNDERSTAND
THE UNDERLYING THEMES.Copy !req
296. - THERE ARE
NO UNDERLYING THEMES!Copy !req
297. WE KNOW THAT FOR A FACT!Copy !req
298. - YOU JUST FAILED TO UNDERSTAND
WHAT THE AUTHOR MEANT.Copy !req
299. - THE AUTHOR MEANT TO BE
AS GROSS AS POSSIBLECopy !req
300. BECAUSE IT WAS FUNNY.Copy !req
301. - NO, NO, NO.Copy !req
302. THAT'S SUCH
A SIMPLISTIC VIEW.Copy !req
303. - GOD DAMN IT, THERE IS
NO DEEPER MEANING IN THIS BOOK.Copy !req
304. READ IT AGAIN!Copy !req
305. - OH, SO YOU'RE SUGGESTINGCopy !req
306. THAT THE AUTHOR
JUST ARBITRARILY MADE FUNCopy !req
307. OF SARAH JESSICA PARKER
FOR NO REASON.Copy !req
308. - YES!Copy !req
309. - BUT WHAT WOULD BE
THE POINT?Copy !req
310. - THERE'S IS NO POINT!Copy !req
311. IT'S JUST BECAUSE
SARAH JESSICA PARKERCopy !req
312. IS FUCKING UGLY!Copy !req
313. - NO WRITER
WOULD TAKE THE TIMECopy !req
314. TO MAKE FUN OF
SARAH JESSICA PARKERCopy !req
315. JUST BECAUSE THEY THINK
SHE'S UGLY.Copy !req
316. YES, THEY WOULD!Copy !req
317. - IT IS BECAUSE
MS. JESSICA PARKERCopy !req
318. IS A METAPHOR IN THE BOOKCopy !req
319. FOR OPPRESSION
FELT BY THE LOWER CLASS.Copy !req
320. - WHAT?Copy !req
321. DUDE, THAT IS NOT
IN THE BOOK AT ALL!Copy !req
322. - BOYS, THIS BOOK
IS AN IMPORTANT LOOKCopy !req
323. AT HOW LIBERALS ARE HURTING
THIS COUNTRY, AND WE—Copy !req
324. - WHAT?
SCROTIE MCBOOGERBALLSCopy !req
325. IS THE MOST CONSERVATIVE-HATING
LIBERAL IN LITERATURE!Copy !req
326. - WHAT BOOK DID YOU READ?Copy !req
327. - THERE'S NOTHING
ABOUT LIBERALS OR CONSERVATIVES!Copy !req
328. - OH, YEAH, THEN WHY DOESCopy !req
329. SARAH JESSICA PARKER'S
BUTT CHEESECopy !req
330. END UP
IN SCROTIE'S MILKSHAKE?Copy !req
331. - BREAKING NEWS FROM ACCLAIMED
AUTHOR LEOPOLD STOTCH.Copy !req
332. THE ARTIST HAS ANNOUNCEDCopy !req
333. THAT HE IS WORKING
ON A SECOND NOVEL,Copy !req
334. AS A FOLLOW-UP TO HIS
WILDLY SUCCESSFUL BEST SELLER.Copy !req
335. WE GOT A STATEMENT
FROM THE WRITER,Copy !req
336. WHO IS STILL GROUNDED
IN HIS ROOM.Copy !req
337. CAN YOU GIVE THE PUBLIC ANY IDEA
WHAT THE NEW BOOK IS ABOUT?Copy !req
338. - WELL, IT'S KIND OF ABOUT
LOVE AND BETRAYAL,Copy !req
339. THE INNER WORKINGS
OF THE HUMAN MIND!Copy !req
340. - WILL IT BE AS SICK AND
DISGUSTING AS YOUR FIRST BOOK?Copy !req
341. - OH, IT'S RAUNCHY, ALL RIGHT!Copy !req
342. I KNOW WHAT MY READERS WANT,
AND I'M GOING TO DELIVER!Copy !req
343. - BUTTERS,
AWAY FROM THE WINDOW!Copy !req
344. YOU ARE BEING GROUNDED!Copy !req
345. - SORRY, DAD, I WAS JUST BEING
THE VOICE OF A GENERATION.Copy !req
346. - I CAN'T BELIEVE
THEY WON'T BAN OUR BOOK.Copy !req
347. - I KNOW.Copy !req
348. IT'S SO MUCH WORSE THAN
"CATCHER IN THE RETARDED RYE"!Copy !req
349. - ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS,
I KNOW WHAT WE HAVE TO DO.Copy !req
350. WE'VE GOT TO KILL
SARAH JESSICA PARKER.Copy !req
351. - WHAT?
- THINK ABOUT IT, GUYS.Copy !req
352. IF SOMEBODY KILLS
SARAH JESSICA PARKER,Copy !req
353. THEN THEY'LL ASSUME
THAT SOMEBODY DID ITCopy !req
354. BECAUSE OF WHAT WAS
IN THE BOOK.Copy !req
355. THEN THE BOOK WILL GET BANNED.Copy !req
356. - DUDE, WE'RE NOT KILLING
SARAH JESSICA PARKER!Copy !req
357. - SHH.Copy !req
358. BE RIGHT WITH YOU.Copy !req
359. WE DON'T HAVE TO KILL HER.Copy !req
360. WE CAN JUST HELP HER
GET KILLED.Copy !req
361. - SHUT UP, CARTMAN.Copy !req
362. JUST FACE IT.
WE LOST THIS ONE.Copy !req
363. - KENNY, WE ONLY HAVE
TO HELP HER GET KILLED,Copy !req
364. AND THEN WE TOTALLY GET BACK
AT BUTTERS.Copy !req
365. - OKAY.Copy !req
366. - MS. JESSICA PARKER,
OVER HERE.Copy !req
367. - WELL, THE DAY
HAS FINALLY ARRIVED.Copy !req
368. THE EAGERLY AWAITED
SECOND NOVELCopy !req
369. FROM THE AUTHOR
OF SCROTIE MCBOOGERBALLSCopy !req
370. HIT THE SHELVES
THIS MORNING,Copy !req
371. AND APPARENTLY
BOOKSTORES ARE JAMMED.Copy !req
372. - AL, HOW IS IT OUT THERE?Copy !req
373. - I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU CAN SEE THIS, GUYS,Copy !req
374. BUT THE—THE LINE STRETCHES
ALL THE WAY AROUND THE BLOCK—Copy !req
375. PEOPLE WAITING FOR THEIR TURN
TO GET INSIDE THE BOOKSTORECopy !req
376. AND READ THE NOVEL.Copy !req
377. AND THEY'VE BROUGHT TRASH BAGS
AND BUCKETS TO THROW UP IN—Copy !req
378. JUST A FESTIVE ATMOSPHERE HERE,
MATT AND MEREDITH.Copy !req
379. - WELL, WE'VE GOT
OUR VOMIT BUCKETS READY TOO,Copy !req
380. BECAUSE COMING UP,
A VERY SPECIAL IN-STUDIO TREAT.Copy !req
381. - THAT'S RIGHT.
WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A READINGCopy !req
382. OF THE FIRST FIVE CHAPTERS
OF THE BOOKCopy !req
383. HERE LIVE IN OUR STUDIO.Copy !req
384. NOW, WE MUST WARN YOUCopy !req
385. THAT THIS IS
FROM THE SAME AUTHORCopy !req
386. WHO WROTE THE MOST GRAPHIC,
OBSCENE NOVEL OF ALL TIME,Copy !req
387. SO BRACE YOURSELVES
FOR SOME VERY HARSH LANGUAGE.Copy !req
388. TAKE IT AWAY, MORGAN FREEMAN.Copy !req
389. - "THE POOP THAT TOOK A PEE.Copy !req
390. "CHAPTER ONE.Copy !req
391. "DOUGLAS HAD TO POOP.Copy !req
392. "HIS BUTT WAS ALL STINKYCopy !req
393. "BECAUSE HE HAD TO POOP
SO BADLY.Copy !req
394. "THERE WAS A GROSS WOMAN
NAMED REBECCACopy !req
395. "WHO WAS SUNBATHING
ALL NAKED,Copy !req
396. "AND SHE WAS FAT.Copy !req
397. "DOUGLAS WALKED UP TO HER
AND SAID, 'I NEED TO POOP.'Copy !req
398. "'OKAY,' REBECCA REPLIED.Copy !req
399. "'I LIKE POOP.'Copy !req
400. "DOUGLAS SQUATTED DOWN...Copy !req
401. "OVER THE FAT, SUNBATHING LADYCopy !req
402. "AND WENT POOP.Copy !req
403. "THE POOP SAT THERE
ON REBECCA'S BOOBS,Copy !req
404. "LOOKING LIKE A WIENER.Copy !req
405. CHAPTER TWO"...Copy !req
406. - SEE ANY HUNTERS YET?Copy !req
407. - DOING GOOD,
MS. JESSICA PARKER.Copy !req
408. JUST HANG OUT RIGHT THERE.Copy !req
409. - GUYS! STOP! STOP!Copy !req
410. WE DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS!
- HUH?Copy !req
411. - BUTTERS WROTE
A SECOND BOOK!Copy !req
412. - SO WHAT?Copy !req
413. - SO, DUDE, IF BUTTERS
WROTE A SECOND BOOK,Copy !req
414. THEN EVERYONE'S GONNA KNOWCopy !req
415. HE COULDN'T HAVE WRITTEN
THE FIRST ONE.Copy !req
416. - WE CAN GET PEOPLE
TO BELIEVE US NOW!Copy !req
417. - OH, DUDE, SWEET!Copy !req
418. - "'WHY ARE WE HERE?'
DOUGLAS CRIED,Copy !req
419. "AS POOP CAME OUT
HIS WIENERCopy !req
420. "IN A LONG, THIN STRIP.Copy !req
421. "IT WAS WIENER POOP,Copy !req
422. WHICH IS
THE GROSSEST POOP OF ALL."Copy !req
423. - "THE PEE-PEE GOT
ON THE WOMAN'S LEG,Copy !req
424. AND SHE SCREAMED,
POOPING OUT HER BOOBS."Copy !req
425. - "AND SO WHEN THE PEE
GOT MIXED WITH THE POOP,Copy !req
426. IT SMELLED LIKE A BUTT."Copy !req
427. - OH, DUDE, THIS IS EVEN LAMER
THAN WE THOUGHT.Copy !req
428. - PEOPLE ARE GONNA WANT
BUTTERS' HEAD ON A PLATTER!Copy !req
429. - ARE YOU READING THIS, MARCIA?
WHAT DO YOU THINK?Copy !req
430. - SO FAR, I THINK IT—
IT'S INCREDIBLE.Copy !req
431. I-IT MIGHT BE BETTER
THAN HIS FIRST BOOK.Copy !req
432. - I AGREE.
IT WASN'T AS EDGY,Copy !req
433. BUT IT'S LIKE HE'S GONE
BACK TO HIS ROOTS.Copy !req
434. - WHAT?Copy !req
435. - YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS.
YOU PEOPLE LIKE THIS?Copy !req
436. - SOME OF THE IMAGERY
IS UNBELIEVABLE.Copy !req
437. - A WOMAN POOPING OUT HER BOOBS
IS NOT GOOD IMAGERY!Copy !req
438. - SAYS YOU.Copy !req
439. YOU MUST BE
A PRO-LIFE NUT, HUH?Copy !req
440. DIDN'T LIKE WHAT THE BOOK
HAD TO SAY?Copy !req
441. - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?Copy !req
442. THIS BOOK
IS AS PRO-LIFE AS IT GETS!Copy !req
443. - OH, COME ON!Copy !req
444. - GOD DAMN IT!Copy !req
445. WILL YOU PEOPLE STOP READING
INTO STUFF THAT ISN'T THERE?Copy !req
446. - "AND THE POOP AND THE PEE
LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.Copy !req
447. THE END."Copy !req
448. KILL THE PHONIES.Copy !req
449. - TODAY MY SISTERS AND I
ARE GOING TO SHOP FOR UNDERWEAR!Copy !req
450. YAY!Copy !req
451. - CAN I GO WITH YOU, GIRLS?Copy !req
452. - OUR NATION IS STILL REELINGCopy !req
453. FROM THE TRAGIC DEATHS
OF THE KARDASHIANS.Copy !req
454. THE SHOOTER CLAIMS HE WAS DRIVEN
TO COMMIT THE SLAUGHTERCopy !req
455. IMMEDIATELY AFTER READING
THE POOP THAT TOOK A PEECopy !req
456. BY LEOPOLD "BUTTERS" STOTCH.Copy !req
457. IT'S ALL OVER...Copy !req
458. THE KARDASHIANS—WIPED OUT...Copy !req
459. IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE...Copy !req
460. ALL BECAUSE ONE LITTLE PRICK...Copy !req
461. HAD TO GO AND WRITE A BOOK.Copy !req
462. LEOPOLD STOTCH...Copy !req
463. I HOPE THEY BURY YOU...Copy !req
464. YOU EVIL FUCK!Copy !req
465. - DUDE, PEOPLE ARE PISSED OFF
AT YOU, BUTTERS.Copy !req
466. I KNOW.Copy !req
467. - THEY'RE SAYING THEY'RE GONNA
BAN BOTH YOUR BOOKS NOW,Copy !req
468. COMPLETELY!Copy !req
469. YOU'RE NOT MAKING
ANY MORE MONEY.Copy !req
470. YOU THINK I CARE ABOUT THAT?Copy !req
471. MY WRITINGCopy !req
472. GOT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
IN THE WORLD KILLED!Copy !req
473. I LOVED HER!Copy !req
474. AND NOW SHE'S GONE,
AND IT'S BECAUSE OF ME!Copy !req
475. - UH, OH, BUTTERS,
IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
476. LISTEN, WE'VE ALL LEARNEDCopy !req
477. THAT PEOPLE LOOK
FOR MEANING IN BOOKS.Copy !req
478. AND SOMETIMES,
EVEN IF IT ISN'T THERE,Copy !req
479. THEY'LL TRY AND INVENT
THEIR OWN MEANING.Copy !req
480. - YEAH, DUDE.Copy !req
481. THAT'S WHY WE ALL NEED
TO AVOID BOOKSCopy !req
482. AND STICK TO TELEVISION.Copy !req
483. - THA—THANKS, FELLAS.Copy !req
484. I'LL DEFINITELY
NEVER WRITE AGAIN.Copy !req
485. I THINK I CAN GET OVER THIS.Copy !req
486. - THAT'S GOOD, BUTTERS, BECAUSE
WE NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.Copy !req
487. - WHAT?Copy !req
488. YOU WERE SLEEPWALKING AGAINCopy !req
489. AND DRESSED SARAH JESSICA
PARKER UP IN A MOOSE SUIT.Copy !req
490. YOU LEFT HER IN THE FOREST,
AND SHE GOT SHOT BY A HUNTER.Copy !req
491. - WHAT? OH, NO!
- YEP, SORRY.Copy !req
492. YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO COME DOWN
AND ADMIT IT WAS YOU.Copy !req
493. - AW, I GOT HER KILLED TOO?Copy !req
494. OH, WELL,
AT LEAST SHE WAS UGLY.Copy !req