1. ? i'm goin'
down to south park?
Copy !req
2. ? gonna have myself a time?
Copy !req
3. ? friendly faces everywhere?
Copy !req
4. ? humble folks
without temptation?
Copy !req
5. ? i'm goin'
down to south park?
Copy !req
6. ? gonna leave my woes behind?
Copy !req
7. ? ample parking day or night,
people spouting howdy neighbor?
Copy !req
8. ? headin' on up to south park,
gonna see if i can't unwind?
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9. ?
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10. ? come on down to south park
and meet some friends of mine?
Copy !req
11. - Sit back, justice believers,
and listen to another edition
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12. of america's
favorite super hero...
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13. mintberry crunch!
Copy !req
14. Our story begins
in a remote corner
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15. of the gulf of mexico.
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16. The bp oil company drills
into the ocean floor!
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17. But they drill too much,
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18. and the bp oil company
accidentally unleashes cthulhu,
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19. an ancient evil god
from another dimension!
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20. Halfway across the country,
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21. a mild-mannered, attractive
fourth grader, bradley biggle,
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22. hears of the disaster
on the news
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23. while with his friends.
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24. But bradley biggle is
no ordinary fourth grader!
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25. Not long ago, he realized
he had super powers
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26. he could call upon
by turning in place
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27. and saying the magic word!
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28. Shablagoo!
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29. And in a flash,
bradley is transformed
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30. into that thrilling superhero,
mintberry crunch!
Copy !req
31. Joined by the other
coon friends,
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32. mintberry crunch
went to investigate
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33. the gulf spill crisis!
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34. The superheroes
came across a cult,
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35. in existence for years,
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36. that had been waiting
for cthulhu's arrival!
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37. They are the key
to stopping cthulhu
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38. from taking over the world.
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39. Sometimes, when everything
seems hopeless,
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40. that's when
you need to bring it all.
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41. That's when you need to
bring the crunch!
Copy !req
42. - Dude, i'm sorry,
Copy !req
43. but we still aren't
getting it.
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44. You're half-man
and half-berry?
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45. - Right!
Copy !req
46. - But then what exactly is
your super power?
Copy !req
47. - The power of mint
and berries
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48. yet with a satisfying
tasty crunch!
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49. - No, see,
that's the problem, dude.
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50. That's not really
a super power.
Copy !req
51. Like i have mental command
over all power tools,
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52. human kite can fly...
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53. - and shoot lasers
out of my eyes.
Copy !req
54. - And shoot lasers out of
his eyes, and mysterion can...
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55. wait. What's your super power,
mysterion?
Copy !req
56. - I can't die!
Copy !req
57. - Oh, yeah, good one.
Mysterion can't die.
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58. And iron maiden is
indestructible...
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59. - no, stan, i'm being serious.
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60. I really, reallycan't die!
Copy !req
61. - what?
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62. - Like last night
in the alley!
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63. The cult leader stabbed me
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64. and i bled
all over the place.
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65. And you screamed,
"oh, my god!"
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66. And you called him a bastard!
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67. - When was that?
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68. - All the time!
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69. I die all the time!
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70. And you assholes
never remember!
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71. - I think we would
remember you dying, dude.
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72. - Well, you don't!
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73. I die over and over.
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74. Only to wake up in my bed
like nothing happened.
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75. - Dude, you're freakin' out
mintberry crunch.
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76. He's peed his pants.
- No, no!
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77. Mintberry crunch doesn't
ever pee his pants!
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78. - I knew there'd be no point
in telling you guys.
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79. - All right, dude.
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80. Let's just say you're
not crazy and it's true.
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81. What's the big deal?
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82. I mean, i think it'd be pretty
cool not to be able to die.
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83. - Pretty cool?
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84. Do you know what it feels
like to be stabbed?
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85. To be shot, decapitated,
torn apart, burned, run over...
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86. - kenny, kenny calm down.
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87. - It's not pretty cool, kyle!
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88. It fucking hurts!
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89. And it won't go away
and nobody will believe me!
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90. Remember this time!
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91. Try and fucking remember!
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92. - Oh, my god!
Holy shit, dude!
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93. - Dude!
- Is he... oh, Jesus!
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94. - Kenny.
No, no!
Copy !req
95. - Gather around,
believers in good,
Copy !req
96. and listen to the newest
installment of the coon!
Copy !req
97. It all began
when the bp oil company
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98. drilled into the ocean floor
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99. and ripped open a hole
to another dimension.
Copy !req
100. Seeing the disaster
on coonvision,
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101. the coon immediately
called together
Copy !req
102. his trusty coon friends.
Copy !req
103. As the coon explained how
the disaster could be stopped,
Copy !req
104. something terrible happened.
Copy !req
105. Without warning,
the coon friends changed.
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106. Their superpowers
morphed somehow,
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107. turning them into...
supervillains.
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108. The coon tried to
reason with them,
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109. tried to bring them back to
the side of good,
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110. but it was too late.
Copy !req
111. Their black hearts had been
tainted by hate and rage.
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112. The coon was alone.
Copy !req
113. Torn by the ultimate dilemma,
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114. he had to put a stop to
the evil villains,
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115. even though they had
once been his friends.
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116. Sometimes,
to fight the ultimate evil,
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117. you must make friends
with enemies.
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118. The coon teamed up
with cthulhu,
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119. because even cthulhu knows
what evil assholes
Copy !req
120. kyle and stan
and those guys are.
Copy !req
121. And that they are manipulative,
uncaring, vagina faces!
Copy !req
122. They are all planning to
destroy the world.
Copy !req
123. Only one thing can stop them...
the coon.
Copy !req
124. With cthulhu's help,
i can try to banish them
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125. to a dark oblivion
for all eternity.
Copy !req
126. I will not rest
until that happens.
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127. Baby, i know
you're askin' me to stay
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128. say please, please,
please, don't go away
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129. you say i'm givin' you
the blues
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130. maybe you mean
every word you say
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131. can't help but think of...
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132. - eric cartman!
- Hi, mom.
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133. - Where have you been,
young man?
Copy !req
134. - Just doing stuff, mom.
Copy !req
135. Are my friends downstairs
in the secret base?
Copy !req
136. - Yes, they are, but you
were supposed to be
Copy !req
137. grounded in your room.
Copy !req
138. And now you're
more grounded, young man!
Copy !req
139. - The coon's mother appears
to be extremely upset.
Copy !req
140. In order to get past her,
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141. i must use
the lebron james technique.
Copy !req
142. - Eric, are you listening
to me?
Copy !req
143. - Mom... what should i do?
Copy !req
144. - What?
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145. - What should i do?
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146. Should i admit
i made mistakes?
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147. Should i say
i've done this before?
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148. Should write a song
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149. about how i should have
stayed in my room?
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150. What should i do?
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151. - What do you mean
what should...
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152. - should i say i'm not
a role model?
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153. Should i not listen to
my conscience?
Copy !req
154. It's my conscience, mom!
What should i do?
Copy !req
155. Go back to my room
and pretend nothing happened?
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156. Not jump out the window
and fly to new orleans?
Copy !req
157. What should i do, mom?
Tell me!
Copy !req
158. - I just... I...
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159. i'm going to go make you kids
some lemonade.
Copy !req
160. - All right, coon friends!
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161. What good deed
should we do next?
Copy !req
162. - Perhaps we should bake
more lemon bars
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163. to raise money
for people in need!
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164. - Okay!
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165. - You guys have no memory
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166. of me shooting myself
in the head, do you?
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167. - what?
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168. - What we need to do is
talk to people in that cult.
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169. I want to know
where my powers come from.
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170. - Yeah, cool, let's talk about
where our powers come from!
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171. - I was bitten by
a radioactive mosquito!
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172. Zzzt!
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173. - I was in a car accident
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174. then put back together
with tupperware parts!
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175. - Tl-timmy!
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176. - Will you guys
listen to me?
Copy !req
177. I actually have a power
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178. that i actually want to
know about!
Copy !req
179. - Hey, guys.
Copy !req
180. So what's goin' on?
Copy !req
181. - Go away, cartman.
Copy !req
182. We kicked you out of coon
and friends, remember?
Copy !req
183. - No, i know.
Copy !req
184. That's cool.
I understand.
Copy !req
185. Even though i started it and
the secret base is in my house.
Copy !req
186. Yeah, that's totally
understandable.
Copy !req
187. - You just wanted to frame
and blackmail people.
Copy !req
188. Then you beat up clyde
and bradley for no reason!
Copy !req
189. - No, you're right.
For no reason.
Copy !req
190. Clearly something is wrong
with me.
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191. But, you guys...
what should i do?
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192. - You should fuck off.
That's what you should do.
Copy !req
193. - Hmm. All right.
Copy !req
194. Look, you guys were
totally right, okay?
Copy !req
195. That's all i wanted to say.
Copy !req
196. That and... there's
a double rainbow outside.
Copy !req
197. - A what?
- Double rainbow, you guys.
Copy !req
198. You don't see 'em often, but
there's one outside right now.
Copy !req
199. You gotta come see!
Copy !req
200. - A double rainbow?
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201. Shablagoo!
Copy !req
202. - Wait, mintberry crunch.
You might not wanna go...
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203. - hey, can i see
the double rainbow, fellas?
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204. Fellas?
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205. - Isn't it beautiful,
you guys?
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206. - There's no double rainbow,
fat ass.
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207. - You are correct,
human kike.
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208. Not that supervillains
like you guys
Copy !req
209. could ever see
a double rainbow.
Copy !req
210. - What are you talking about?
Copy !req
211. - Your evil doing days
are over, mosquito!
Copy !req
212. All of you shall now be dealt
the swift hand of justice!
Copy !req
213. - Cartman, you are
the bad guy, not us.
Copy !req
214. - Nu-uh, you guys are
the bad guy.
Copy !req
215. - Aah!
Copy !req
216. - What are you doing
with that thing?
Copy !req
217. - He's going to help me
get rid of you guys,
Copy !req
218. so together we can make
the world a better place!
Copy !req
219. - Cartman, if you team up
with the most evil thing
Copy !req
220. in the universe, then clearly
you are the bad guy!
Copy !req
221. - No, because it's
for the greater good
Copy !req
222. like when superman
teamed up with lex luthor.
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223. - Superman never teamed up
with lex luthor!
Copy !req
224. - Well, that's why superman
isn't around anymore,
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225. isn't it?
Copy !req
226. Cthulhu, banish them to
a dark oblivion, please.
Copy !req
227. Aah!
Copy !req
228. - Oh, ho!
Dude, that was awesome!
Copy !req
229. You were all like, "mrrr!"
Copy !req
230. And they were all like, "noo!"
Copy !req
231. - All right, now...
Copy !req
232. we've taken out
most of the synagogues,
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233. destroyed san francisco,
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234. sent my friends
into a dark oblivion,
Copy !req
235. and so our next order of
business will be burning man!
Copy !req
236. - Burning man is the biggest
hippie festival in the world,
Copy !req
237. and tomorrow, we are gonna
wipe 'em all out!
Copy !req
238. Pretty soon the whole world
will be transformed
Copy !req
239. thanks to the coon!
Copy !req
240. - Yes, yes,
the coon and friend.
Copy !req
241. Now after burning man,
Copy !req
242. we will take down
whole foods, all right?
Copy !req
243. - The dark lord is agitated
Copy !req
244. and the lebron james technique
might not work.
Copy !req
245. The coon will have to use
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246. an even more
manipulative technique.
Copy !req
247. Time to bust out cute kitten.
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248. Meow meow meow meow
meow meow meow!
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249. Meow meow meow!
Copy !req
250. - Hmph. Grr.
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251. - Dude,
where the fuck are we?
Copy !req
252. - I don't know,
but i feel like...
Copy !req
253. i've been here before.
Copy !req
254. - And so the coon
had returned
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255. with the dark lord cthulhu!
Copy !req
256. Upon seeing cthulhu in person,
Copy !req
257. mintberry crunch heroically
dashed off to...
Copy !req
258. to save the day!
Copy !req
259. With minty coolness,
he hurried back home
Copy !req
260. and heroically watched
judge judy,
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261. knowing that
his superhero friends
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262. were probably just fine
without him!
Copy !req
263. Aah!
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264. - Oh, shit!
Copy !req
265. We aren't going that way!
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266. - You guys,
i wanna go home!
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267. - We all wanna go home,
clyde!
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268. I don't think we're gonna last
very long out here.
Copy !req
269. - Maybe we should
just find a place to hide
Copy !req
270. and wait for help.
Copy !req
271. - What help, dude?
Copy !req
272. Nobody in the real world
even knows we're here!
Copy !req
273. - All right, you guys hide
as long as you can.
Copy !req
274. I'll try and find help.
- How, dude?
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275. - Kenny, where the hell
are you going?
Copy !req
276. - I'm going to try to
get you all out of here.
Copy !req
277. If this works.
Copy !req
278. Or i could be wrong.
Copy !req
279. - Kenny!
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280. - Ow! That fucking hurts!
Copy !req
281. Argh! Unhhh!
Copy !req
282. - Oh, my god!
Kenny.
Copy !req
283. - You... you crazy bastard!
Copy !req
284. - It's burning man!
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285. - Biggest party
in the world, baby!
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286. - Fucking hippies!
Fuck all you!
Copy !req
287. - The dark and evil cthulhu
is bringing his angry wrath
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288. down upon the burning man
festival, tom.
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289. Cthulhu isn't behaving
Copy !req
290. as most scientists
had speculated, tom.
Copy !req
291. But the dark lord is
wreaking havoc everywhere and...
Copy !req
292. - no, no, excuse me!
Copy !req
293. It is not cthulhu.
Copy !req
294. It is coon and friend.
Copy !req
295. I'm a little sick of everyone
giving him all the credit
Copy !req
296. when i'm the one really making
the world a better place.
Copy !req
297. - Tom, it appears
that bruce vilanch
Copy !req
298. has arrived on the scene
wearing a rat costume.
Copy !req
299. - Oh, you motherfucker.
Copy !req
300. Cthulhu, this guy too!
Copy !req
301. Cool.
Copy !req
302. Oh, get that fire-twirling
hippie bitch!
Copy !req
303. - This... freaking... sucks!
Copy !req
304. We worshipped
and prayed to cthulhu,
Copy !req
305. went to all the cult meetings,
Copy !req
306. but life is still
totally freakin' gay.
Copy !req
307. - I thought that when cthulhu
rose from the depths
Copy !req
308. all was gonna be darkness
and pain.
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309. I thought at least
school would be canceled.
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310. - How do i fight him?
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311. - Oh joy.
It's underwear boy again.
Copy !req
312. - That god you pray to
just took away all my friends.
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313. - Not our god.
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314. He promised everything would
change if we worshipped him,
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315. but we're just sitting here
smoking cigarettes like before.
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316. It's like obama
all over again.
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317. - How do i fight him?
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318. - Cthulhu isn't alive
or dead, all right?
Copy !req
319. - Tell me what that means.
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320. - Henrietta!
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321. Your little brother
wants to play with you.
Copy !req
322. - Go away, mom!
I hate you!
Copy !req
323. - Just let
your little brother
Copy !req
324. play with your friends,
sweetie.
Copy !req
325. He's lonely.
Go on in, bradley.
Copy !req
326. - Will you guys paint with me?
Copy !req
327. - Fuck off, dork.
I don't want you here!
Copy !req
328. - Please, can i just... oh!
Copy !req
329. M-mysterion!
What's going...
Copy !req
330. uh, that's okay, sis.
Copy !req
331. I'll play with you
another time!
Copy !req
332. Mysterion is here!
Copy !req
333. He must have come
for my help!
Copy !req
334. No time to waste.
Copy !req
335. Time for bradley biggle
to transform!
Copy !req
336. Shablagoo!
Copy !req
337. - All right, look,
Copy !req
338. the necronomiconis
an account of the old ones,
Copy !req
339. their history and the means
for summoning them.
Copy !req
340. - Old ones?
Copy !req
341. - Dark deities
that existed before man.
Copy !req
342. - It was written by
a mad prince
Copy !req
343. who knew of the nightmare city
of r'lyeh,
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344. which fell from the stars
and exists beneath the sea,
Copy !req
345. and in another dimension.
Copy !req
346. - That's it.
That's the place i just was!
Copy !req
347. - You've been to the nightmare
city of r'lyeh?
Copy !req
348. - Lucky.
Copy !req
349. - Cthulhu and the other beings
are from this city,
Copy !req
350. but for years
cultists have tried
Copy !req
351. to bring them into our world.
Copy !req
352. - And what about
cthulhu's power?
Copy !req
353. Why can't old ones die?
Copy !req
354. - The only thing
that can destroy an immortal
Copy !req
355. is another immortal.
Copy !req
356. - Ha ha!
Don't worry, mysterion!
Copy !req
357. Mintberry crunch is here
Copy !req
358. to help you
with these black cultists!
Copy !req
359. - Get out of my room, twerp!
Copy !req
360. - Mintberry crunch
isn't afraid of his fat sister!
Copy !req
361. Grab her legs, mysterion!
Copy !req
362. Mysterion?
Copy !req
363. Oh, crap.
Copy !req
364. Hey, mysterion, wait up!
Copy !req
365. Come on, wait up!
Copy !req
366. Us coon friends need to
stick together, remember?
Copy !req
367. Where're you going?
Copy !req
368. - Wherever cthulhu is.
Copy !req
369. - What?
But he'll kill you!
Copy !req
370. - Maybe, but with any luck,
Copy !req
371. i might find the reason
for my powers.
Copy !req
372. - Oh, right!
Copy !req
373. Maybe i can find the reason
for my powers too!
Copy !req
374. - You don't understand.
Copy !req
375. - How was it that mint
and berry came together
Copy !req
376. delivering full flavor
and an intense crunch?
Copy !req
377. We must find out answers,
mysterion!
Copy !req
378. M-mysterion,
i'm going with you!
Copy !req
379. - After the triumphant victory
Copy !req
380. over the evil hippies
of burning man,
Copy !req
381. coon and friends
turn their attention
Copy !req
382. to the next
villainous scourge,
Copy !req
383. bravely taking out
Copy !req
384. every whole foods
left in the country.
Copy !req
385. No more organic crap
for america.
Copy !req
386. Thanks to coon and friends,
Copy !req
387. the country would soon be rid
of all evil.
Copy !req
388. But first,
they would come up against
Copy !req
389. their most challenging
and most evil opponent...
Copy !req
390. justin bieber.
Copy !req
391. In order to save the earth,
Copy !req
392. this little butthole
had to be stopped.
Copy !req
393. Baby baby baby, ooh, baby
Copy !req
394. baby baby,
ooh, baby baby...
Copy !req
395. ooh ooh ooh!
Copy !req
396. Ooh aah!
Copy !req
397. - Yup, that's him.
Copy !req
398. So long, justin bieber,
you little douche bag!
Copy !req
399. - The dark god cthulhu
Copy !req
400. continues his rampage
of destruction and terror,
Copy !req
401. and there seems to be
no hope for man.
Copy !req
402. I am joined now by a supposed
team member of cthulhu,
Copy !req
403. the coon.
Copy !req
404. - It isn't just cthulhu,
mr. Reporter.
Copy !req
405. He's merely a small
piece of coon and friends,
Copy !req
406. who will continue to fight
for good and justice.
Copy !req
407. - Good and justice?
Copy !req
408. Justin bieber and most of his
fans have just been massacred.
Copy !req
409. - Yes, coon and friends
are happy to help.
Copy !req
410. We do not need thanks
for our deeds.
Copy !req
411. We do not want gifts.
Copy !req
412. All we want
is for people to buy
Copy !req
413. our coon and friends t-shirts
for 14.95.
Copy !req
414. - Hey, fat boy!
Copy !req
415. - Kenny? What the hell?
I sent you...
Copy !req
416. - to the sunken city of r'lyeh
fallen from the stars!
Copy !req
417. You little fuckin' prick!
What is wrong with you?
Copy !req
418. What kind of sick fuck
does that to his friends?
Copy !req
419. - It's not my fault
you got turned evil, kenny!
Copy !req
420. - You are the bad guy,
fat boy, you!
Copy !req
421. - I'm going around making
the world a better place!
Copy !req
422. - For you!
Copy !req
423. You're making it
a better place for you!
Copy !req
424. - Right, that's what
superheroes do.
Copy !req
425. - No. This is
what superheroes do.
Copy !req
426. You banished me,
but i'm back!
Copy !req
427. What does that make me?
Copy !req
428. - Bring back my friends!
Take me!
Copy !req
429. - Mysterion, no!
What are you doing?
Copy !req
430. - Only an immortal
can kill another immortal!
Copy !req
431. Here's your prize!
Copy !req
432. Take this curse away from me,
you big pussy!
Copy !req
433. - Don't listen to him,
cthulhu!
Copy !req
434. We have more important stuff
to do.
Copy !req
435. - Go on!
Copy !req
436. Kill me before i kill you!
Copy !req
437. But bring my friends back,
wuss!
Copy !req
438. - Cthulhu, you are
a coon friend, and i'm the coon!
Copy !req
439. You will listen to me!
Copy !req
440. Un-huh. Un-uh-un-uh!
Un-uh!
Copy !req
441. Whew.
Copy !req
442. - No! Come back!
Copy !req
443. I have to know what i am!
Come back!
Copy !req
444. - Fuck you, kenny!
Copy !req
445. - Come back,
you fat piece of shit!
Copy !req
446. - Hello, my son.
Copy !req
447. If you are seeing
this message,
Copy !req
448. then it must be dark times,
Copy !req
449. and you must have
many questions.
Copy !req
450. Your true name is gokzarah.
Copy !req
451. The power given to you
comes from a planet far away.
Copy !req
452. You are from that planet,
gokzarah.
Copy !req
453. It is for that reason
Copy !req
454. you have a power that
normal humans do not have.
Copy !req
455. I know you must sometimes see
this power as a curse,
Copy !req
456. but you were sent here
to stop evil
Copy !req
457. from taking over the earth,
Copy !req
458. and now that time
has apparently come.
Copy !req
459. You must now harness and focus
your power, gokzarah.
Copy !req
460. The power
of mint and berries,
Copy !req
461. yet with a tasty,
satisfying crunch.
Copy !req
462. - Yes!
Yes, please go on!
Copy !req
463. - Your home planet, kokujon,
Copy !req
464. is known throughout
the universe
Copy !req
465. for its berry mines.
Copy !req
466. Berries that have the power to
fuel nearly anything.
Copy !req
467. Needless to say, when the mint
hunters of koganraga
Copy !req
468. got word of them, our fate
was already sealed, gokzarah.
Copy !req
469. But our two worlds collided,
Copy !req
470. and soon mint and berry
were one.
Copy !req
471. - Wow!
Copy !req
472. - Your mother and i sent you
as far away as we could.
Copy !req
473. Use your powers, son.
Copy !req
474. Save earth.
Copy !req
475. Shablagoo!
Copy !req
476. - I will, father!
Copy !req
477. No more running away
for... mintberry crunch!
Copy !req
478. Hello, cthulhu.
Copy !req
479. I heard you haven't been
berrynice.
Copy !req
480. - Not enough, huh?
Copy !req
481. Maybe the intense flavor
of mint
Copy !req
482. will freshen things up!
Copy !req
483. - I reach the gulf of mexico
in no time!
Copy !req
484. And with all my strength,
i drag cthulhu back to
Copy !req
485. the depths
from whence he came!
Copy !req
486. My trusty hero companions
are there, still alive!
Copy !req
487. I return them to their world
Copy !req
488. encased in a protective berry
bubble.
Copy !req
489. Then it's back down to
seal up the hole
Copy !req
490. created by
the bp oil company,
Copy !req
491. returning home
only momentarily
Copy !req
492. to flip of my fat sister.
Copy !req
493. - Dude, thanks for getting us
out of that dark oblivion,
Copy !req
494. mintberry crunch.
Copy !req
495. - No, no!
We worked as a team!
Copy !req
496. All the coon and friends
Copy !req
497. stopped the bp
drilling spill crisis!
Copy !req
498. - And finally the evil coon
is right where he belongs.
Copy !req
499. - Come on, you guys,
this is fuckin' bullcrap.
Copy !req
500. Let me out!
Copy !req
501. - You're not going anywhere
for a long time.
Copy !req
502. - This is inhumane!
Copy !req
503. There's a big bucket
with butters' poop in here
Copy !req
504. and there's nothing to eat!
Copy !req
505. - You got poop, don't ya?
Copy !req
506. - Well, i'm off.
Copy !req
507. There are still many more
questions left unanswered.
Copy !req
508. I need to know
what happened to my parents.
Copy !req
509. - Well, come back and visit
anytime, dude.
Copy !req
510. - I will!
Copy !req
511. Shablagooo!
Copy !req
512. - Fuckin' mintberry
fuckin' crunch.
Copy !req
513. - Wow!
Can you believe it, kenny?
Copy !req
514. Bradley actually had
super powers.
Copy !req
515. Isn't that cool?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
516. I'm tired, guys.
Think i'm gonna go to bed.
Copy !req
517. - Oh, my god!
Copy !req
518. Holy shit, dude!
Copy !req
519. - Kenny! No! No!
Copy !req
520. - What, what?
Copy !req
521. - It's happening again!
Copy !req
522. - We should've never gone to
that stupid cult meeting.
Copy !req