1. - I AM MYSTERION.Copy !req
2. THOUGH ONLY NINE YEARS OLD,Copy !req
3. I DEDICATE MY LIFE
TO HELPING PEOPLE...Copy !req
4. WHEN I AM NOT IN SCHOOL.Copy !req
5. FOR MONTHS NOW, I HAVE BEEN
PROTECTING MY TOWN FROM CRIME.Copy !req
6. BUT NOW,
SOMETHING HAS HAPPENEDCopy !req
7. WHICH EVEN I
CANNOT FIGHT ALONE.Copy !req
8. THE BP OIL COMPANY
HAS DRILLEDCopy !req
9. AND CAUSED A SPILL
IN THE GULF LIKE NO OTHER.Copy !req
10. THE PRESIDENT OF BP
APOLOGIZED.Copy !req
11. - WE'RE SORRY.Copy !req
12. - BUT THEY DRILLED AGAINCopy !req
13. AND TORE OPEN A PORTAL
INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION.Copy !req
14. - WE'RE SORRY.Copy !req
15. - CREATURES FROM
THAT DIMENSIONCopy !req
16. ARE NOW WREAKING HAVOC
IN THE GULF.Copy !req
17. BP TRIED TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM
BY DRILLING ON THE MOON,Copy !req
18. BUT INSTEAD, THEY CAUSED
THE DARK LORD CTHULHU TO EMERGE.Copy !req
19. - SORRY.Copy !req
20. - I HAVE JOINED FORCESCopy !req
21. WITH OTHER SUPERHEROES
IN MY NEIGHBORHOODCopy !req
22. TO HELP SAVE THE GULF.Copy !req
23. BUT EVEN THE OTHER HEROES
DO NOT KNOW,Copy !req
24. THAT UNLIKE THEM,
I DO HAVE A POWER.Copy !req
25. A POWER THEY WILL NOW
BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND.Copy !req
26. AND ALL WILL KNOW
WHO AND WHAT I TRULY AM.Copy !req
27. - JUST TERRIFIC
WHAT YOU BOYS ARE DOING.Copy !req
28. - THANK YOU, MA'AM.Copy !req
29. - I'LL TAKE 20 LEMON BARS,
YOU LITTLE RASCALS!Copy !req
30. - A TERRIFIC HUMAN INTEREST
STORY HERE, TOM.Copy !req
31. AS AMERICA WONDERSCopy !req
32. WHAT HAPPENED TO
CAPTAIN HINDSIGHT,Copy !req
33. SOME COLORADO KIDS ARE BEINGCopy !req
34. A LITTLE "SUPER HUMAN"
THEMSELVES.Copy !req
35. THEY CALL THEMSELVES
COON AND FRIENDS,Copy !req
36. AND THEY'VE BEEN BAKING
AND SELLING LEMON BARSCopy !req
37. TO HELP AID THOSE AFFECTED
IN THE GULF CRISIS.Copy !req
38. - WE BELIEVE THAT
EVERY LITTLE BIT HELPS.Copy !req
39. - THEIR LITTLE SUPER CLUBCopy !req
40. CONSISTS OF SEVEN
YOUNG HEROES.Copy !req
41. - TOOLSHED!Copy !req
42. - THE HUMAN KITE!Copy !req
43. - MYSTERION!Copy !req
44. - TUPPERWARE!Copy !req
45. - MOSQUITO!Copy !req
46. - TIMMY!Copy !req
47. - MINTBERRY CRRRUNCH!Copy !req
48. - THE BOYS STATED
THAT THERE USED TO ALSO BECopy !req
49. A HERO NAMED THE COON
ACTUALLY IN THE GROUP,Copy !req
50. BUT THEY LET HIM GO BECAUSE
HE WAS BEING, QUOTE,Copy !req
51. "A DICK."Copy !req
52. - MYSTERION,
IF CARTMAN'S GONE,Copy !req
53. WHY ARE WE STILL CALLING
OURSELVES COON AND FRIENDS?Copy !req
54. - BECAUSE IT PISSES
CARTMAN OFF BEYOND BELIEF...Copy !req
55. AND I FIND THAT
EXTREMELY FUNNY.Copy !req
56. - PASSENGERS WAITING FOR
FLIGHT 73 TO NEW ORLEANS,Copy !req
57. WE THANK YOU
FOR YOUR PATIENCE,Copy !req
58. BUT THE CONDITIONS IN THE GULFCopy !req
59. ARE STILL DELAYING
OUR DEPARTURE.Copy !req
60. UNFORTUNATELY,
WE'VE JUST BEEN INFORMEDCopy !req
61. THAT THE DARK LORD CTHULHU
HAS SHAT ON THE RUNWAYCopy !req
62. AT THE NEW ORLEANS AIRPORT,Copy !req
63. AND WE'LL BE DELAYED
AT LEAST ANOTHER HOUR.Copy !req
64. AWWW!Copy !req
65. - COME ON, PEOPLE!Copy !req
66. SOME OF US NEED TO
GET TO NEW ORLEANS NOW!Copy !req
67. YES, YES, I AM THE COON.Copy !req
68. - THE COON?
I'VE HEARD OF THAT!Copy !req
69. - YOU HAVE?
- I SAW ON TV!Copy !req
70. THAT SUPERHERO GROUP THAT'S
HELPING WITH THE GULF SPILL!Copy !req
71. COON AND FRIENDS!Copy !req
72. - ACTUALLY, I'M NO LONGER
WITH COON AND FRIENDS.Copy !req
73. I WORK ON MY OWN NOW.Copy !req
74. - CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?
- YES, OF COURSE.Copy !req
75. - DO YOU KNOW
MINTBERRY CRUNCH?Copy !req
76. WHAT'S HE LIKE?Copy !req
77. UNH! AAAAAH!Copy !req
78. - THE EVIL GIRL VILLAIN
FOUGHT WITH ALL HER MIGHT,Copy !req
79. BUT THE COON WAS
TOO MUCH FOR HER.Copy !req
80. AS PEOPLE LOOKED ON
AND CHEERED FOR THE COON,Copy !req
81. HE CLAWED AND PUNCHED
THE VILLAIN'S STUPID, FAT FACE.Copy !req
82. THIS FIGHT WOULD NOT BE
THE LAST, THE COON THOUGHT.Copy !req
83. NEXT STOP, NEW ORLEANS.Copy !req
84. - THAT'S ALMOST IT,
SUPERHEROES!Copy !req
85. WE'RE ABOUT
OUT OF LEMON BARS!Copy !req
86. - WELL THEN,
PERHAPS WE SHOULD RETURNCopy !req
87. TO OUR SECRET BASE
AND BAKE SOME MORE!Copy !req
88. - TIMMY!Copy !req
89. - I'LL TAKE 10 LEMON BARS!
- TEN. YES, SIR!Copy !req
90. - THAT'S DEFINITELY
THE LAST OF 'EM!Copy !req
91. - YOU'LL NEVER STOP HIM,
YOU KNOW.Copy !req
92. - STOP WHO?Copy !req
93. - THE GREAT ONE.
CTHULHU.Copy !req
94. HE HAS RISEN, AND SOON ALL
WILL BE UNDER HIS RULE.Copy !req
95. IT HAS ALL BEEN FORETOLD
IN THE NECRONOMICON.Copy !req
96. HAIL CTHULHU!Copy !req
97. THE DARKNESS OF THE MYTHOS
IS FINALLY HERE!Copy !req
98. OH, MAN, THESE ARE
REALLY GOOD LEMON BARS.Copy !req
99. - THE NECRONOMICON?Copy !req
100. - WHAT'S THE MYTHOS?Copy !req
101. - I DON'T KNOW, BUT I THINK
WE BETTER FIND OUT.Copy !req
102. - ALRIGHT, SUPERHEROES,
BACK TO OUR SECRET BASE!Copy !req
103. - MINTBERRY CRUNCH!Copy !req
104. - WHAT THE HELL?Copy !req
105. - I KNEW IT!Copy !req
106. CARTMAN TORE OUR BASE UP.
ZZZT!Copy !req
107. - NOT CARTMAN.Copy !req
108. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN
"NOT CARTMAN," DUDE?Copy !req
109. - WHOEVER DID THIS TO OUR BASE
WAS LOOKING FOR SOMETHING.Copy !req
110. - DON'T ANYBODY MOVE!Copy !req
111. SO YOU'RE THE SUPERHEROES
TRYING TO BLACKMAIL ME!Copy !req
112. - OH, DUDE,
IT'S CAPTAIN HINDSIGHT.Copy !req
113. - CAPTAIN HINDSIGHT!
THE HERO OF THE MODERN AGE!Copy !req
114. ONCE A REPORTER
FOR THE NATIONAL NEWS,Copy !req
115. JACK BROLIN ALWAYS HAD
A KNACK FOR HINDSIGHT.Copy !req
116. WANTING TO BECOMECopy !req
117. THE BEST KNOWN REPORTER
IN THE COUNTRY,Copy !req
118. JACK TRIED AN EXPERIMENT
TO BOOST HIS HINDSIGHT LEVELS.Copy !req
119. BUT THEN A FREAKISH ACCIDENT
OCCURREDCopy !req
120. WHEN A RETROACTIVE SPIDER
GOT INTO THE EQUIPMENT.Copy !req
121. THE REPORTER'S HINDSIGHT WAS
BLASTED TO SUPERHUMAN LEVELS.Copy !req
122. FOR MONTHS HE WAS ABLE TO USE
HIS NEW POWERS FOR GOOD,Copy !req
123. FIGHTING FOR PEACE
AND THE AMERICAN WAY,Copy !req
124. WITH HIS THREE
TRUSTY COMPANIONS,Copy !req
125. SHOULDA, COULDA, AND WOULDA.Copy !req
126. BUT NOW THE HINDSIGHT
THAT HAS SAVED SO MANYCopy !req
127. THREATENS TO CONSUME
JACK'S VERY SOUL.Copy !req
128. IT'S CAPTAIN HINDSIGHT!Copy !req
129. I SHOULD'VE NEVER MIXEDCopy !req
130. VODKA AND JACK DANIELS.Copy !req
131. I SHOULD'VE JUST GONE TO BED
LAST NIGHT.Copy !req
132. - UM, DUDE, ARE YOU OKAY?Copy !req
133. - WHERE ARE THE PICTURES?Copy !req
134. GIVE EVERY COPY
OF THE PICTURES TO ME NOW!Copy !req
135. - P-PLEASE, SIR,
WE DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN!Copy !req
136. - YOU GOT PICTURES OF ME HAVING
SEX WITH COURTNEY LOVE!Copy !req
137. - UHHH-OHHH.Copy !req
138. - CHAOS, WHY DID YOU TAKE
THOSE PICTURES?Copy !req
139. - BUT I—BUT THE COON SAID
IF I TOOK THE PICTURES,Copy !req
140. HE'D LET ME GO HOME.Copy !req
141. AND I'VE MISSED LIKE FOUR DAYS
OF SCHOOL NOW 'CAUSE—Copy !req
142. - ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH!
WHAT'S GOING ON?Copy !req
143. - HINDSIGHT,
THAT ISN'T COURTNEY LOVE.Copy !req
144. OUR FORMER MEMBER,
THE COON, TRICKED YOU.Copy !req
145. - IT'S NOT COURTNEY LOVE?Copy !req
146. - PLEASE, SIR.
PUT DOWN THE GUN.Copy !req
147. - NO! WHAT IF I
PUT DOWN THE GUNCopy !req
148. AND THEN REALIZE
I SHOULDN'T HAVE?Copy !req
149. - LOOK DUDE, WE DON'T NEED TO
PLAY SUPERHERO ANYMORE.Copy !req
150. WE CAN JUST GO HOME.
- NO!Copy !req
151. BECAUSE I COULD REALIZE
I SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU ALL!Copy !req
152. - THEN DO IT!Copy !req
153. PULL THE TRIGGER, HINDSIGHT!Copy !req
154. IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE US,
THEN YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!Copy !req
155. PULL THE TRIGGER, YOU PUSSY!Copy !req
156. - DUDE, KENNY, CHILL OUT.Copy !req
157. - YOU GUYS GO!
I'LL DEAL WITH THIS PRICK.Copy !req
158. - UH, OKAY, IF YOU INSIST.
SEE YA, KENNY.Copy !req
159. - MY MOM DID TELL ME
I HAVE TO BE HOME BY 5:00.Copy !req
160. - I SAID IT'S FINE.
JUST GO!Copy !req
161. - UH, TEXT ME LATER, KENNY,Copy !req
162. IF YOU WANNA, LIKE,
PLAY BASKETBALL OR SOMETHING.Copy !req
163. - CTHULHU!Copy !req
164. CTHULHU!
DUDE, OVER HERE!Copy !req
165. HEY, CTHULHU.
WHAT'S UP?Copy !req
166. YES, IT IS ME, THE COON!Copy !req
167. BUT DON'T WORRY.Copy !req
168. I'M ACTUALLY NOT HERE
TO FIGHT YOU!Copy !req
169. WE ARE NOT SO DIFFERENT,
CTHULHU.Copy !req
170. THOUGH I AM A SUPERHEROCopy !req
171. AND YOU ARE A DARK GOD
FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION,Copy !req
172. PERHAPS WE CAN WORK TOGETHER.Copy !req
173. I KNOW HOW IT FEELSCopy !req
174. TO WANT TO TAKE OVER
AND RULE THE EARTHCopy !req
175. AND HAVE EVERYONE ELSE
BE YOUR SLAVES.Copy !req
176. I DO, BRO.Copy !req
177. BUT THERE'S A GROUP
OF SUPERHUMANSCopy !req
178. WHO ARE GOING TO
STOP AT NOTHING TO STOP YOU!Copy !req
179. GOOD, I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION.Copy !req
180. THE SUPERHUMANS I SPEAK OFCopy !req
181. ARE RIGHT NOW WORKING ON PLANS
TO DESTROY YOU.Copy !req
182. THEY RESIDE IN COLORADO,
AND THEY ARE FUCKING ASSHOLESCopy !req
183. AND THEY ALL DESERVE TO BE
SENT INTO A DARK OBLIVION!Copy !req
184. YOU CAN DO THAT, RIGHT?Copy !req
185. SEND PEOPLE
INTO A DARK OBLIVION?Copy !req
186. 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT
THOSE BUTTHOLES DESERVE!Copy !req
187. NO, DUDE!
DUDE, COLORADO IS THAT WAY!Copy !req
188. WHERE ARE YOU GOING?Copy !req
189. GOD DAMN IT, WHY DON'T
DARK LORDS FUCKIN' LISTEN?Copy !req
190. - IT DOESN'T MATTER.Copy !req
191. EVEN IF THE PICTURES
ARE FAKE,Copy !req
192. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!Copy !req
193. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
WHAT A CURSE IT ISCopy !req
194. TO HAVE PERFECT
20/20 HINDSIGHT?Copy !req
195. AS SOON
AS SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS,Copy !req
196. I IMMEDIATELY KNOW HOW
IT COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED.Copy !req
197. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.Copy !req
198. - PEOPLE NEED YOU, HINDSIGHT.Copy !req
199. WITHOUT YOU, THEY FEEL
HELPLESS AND STUPID.Copy !req
200. - WELL, I DON'T WANT THE POWER
ANYMORE, ALL RIGHT?Copy !req
201. - YOU THINK YOUR POWER
IS A CURSE?Copy !req
202. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING
ABOUT CURSES, BUTTLICKER.Copy !req
203. BECAUSE THERE ARE
SOME SUPERPOWERSCopy !req
204. THAT MAKE YOURS
LOOK LIKE NOTHING.Copy !req
205. TRUST ME, I KNOW.Copy !req
206. - WHAT—WHAT IS YOUR POWER?Copy !req
207. - I CAN'T DIE.Copy !req
208. I'VE EXPERIENCED DEATH.
COUNTLESS TIMES.Copy !req
209. SOMETIMES I SEE
A BRIGHT LIGHT.Copy !req
210. SOMETIMES I SEE HEAVEN
OR HELL,Copy !req
211. BUT EVENTUALLY,
NO MATTER WHAT,Copy !req
212. I WAKE UP IN MY BED,
WEARING MY SAME OLD CLOTHES.Copy !req
213. AND THE WORST PART...Copy !req
214. NOBODY EVEN
REMEMBERS ME DYING.Copy !req
215. I GO TO SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY,Copy !req
216. AND EVERYONE IS JUST LIKE,
"OH, HEY, KENNY."Copy !req
217. EVEN IF THEY HAD SEEN ME
GET DECAPITATEDCopy !req
218. WITH THEIR OWN EYES.Copy !req
219. YOU WANNA WHINE
ABOUT CURSES, HINDSIGHT?Copy !req
220. YOU'RE TALKING TO
THE WRONG FUCKIN' COWBOY.Copy !req
221. - AND NOW,
A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENTCopy !req
222. FROM THE PRESIDENT
OF BP AND DP.Copy !req
223. - HELLO.
I'M TONY HAYWARD.Copy !req
224. THE TRAGIC SPILL IN THE GULFCopy !req
225. IS A DISASTER THAT SHOULD'VE
NEVER HAPPENED.Copy !req
226. AND AS HEAD OF THE OIL COMPANY
RESPONSIBLE,Copy !req
227. I WOULD LIKE TO SAY...
WHAT SHOULD I DO?Copy !req
228. SHOULD I ADMIT
WE'VE MADE MISTAKES?Copy !req
229. SHOULD I REMIND YOU
WE'VE DONE THIS BEFORE?Copy !req
230. WHAT SHOULD I DO?Copy !req
231. SHOULD I FIND NEWER AND BETTER
WAYS TO SAY I'M SORRY?Copy !req
232. WE'RE SORRY.Copy !req
233. - SHOULD I REALLY BELIEVE
I'VE RUINED MY LEGACY?Copy !req
234. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
- WHAT SHOULD I DO?Copy !req
235. - WHAT SHOULD I DO?Copy !req
236. SHOULD I FORGET
ABOUT THE PASTCopy !req
237. AND NOT CARE
ABOUT MY POWERS?Copy !req
238. - OR SHOULD I TELL YOU,
I AM NOT A ROLE MODEL?Copy !req
239. - SERIOUSLY,
WHAT SHOULD I DO?Copy !req
240. - SHOULD I ACCEPT MY ROLE
AS THE VILLAIN?Copy !req
241. - MAYBE I SHOULD JUST
DISAPPEAR.Copy !req
242. - SHOULD I NOT HAVE LISTENED
TO MY TECHNICIANSCopy !req
243. WHO SAID A SPILL
WOULDN'T HAPPEN?Copy !req
244. THEY'RE MY TECHNICIANS!Copy !req
245. - HINDSIGHT'S A BITCH,
ISN'T IT?Copy !req
246. - SHOULD I JUST APOLOGIZE
TO MY FRIENDSCopy !req
247. AND ASK THEM TO TAKE ME BACK?Copy !req
248. TELL THEM THAT I WAS BEING
A SELFISH JERK?Copy !req
249. WHAT SHOULD I DO?Copy !req
250. - SHOULD I GET BACK
IN THE CHAIR,Copy !req
251. REMOVE MY POWERS
AND JUST GO BACK TOCopy !req
252. BEING A SIMPLE REPORTER?Copy !req
253. - SHOULD I ADMIT I WAS WRONG,Copy !req
254. ASK FOR EVERYONE'S
FORGIVENESS,Copy !req
255. AND GO BACK TO
MY ORIGINAL TEAM?Copy !req
256. NAH, SCREW THAT.Copy !req
257. I'M JUST GONNA KEEP BEING
A FUCKING DICK.Copy !req
258. - ALL RIGHT, SUPERHEROES!Copy !req
259. WE'VE GOT TO FIND OUT MORECopy !req
260. ABOUT THIS
NECRONOMICON THING!Copy !req
261. - RIGHT, TOOLSHED!
ZZZT!Copy !req
262. - HERE WE GO!Copy !req
263. THE NECRONOMICON CONTAINS
AN ACCOUNT OF THE OLD ONES,Copy !req
264. THEIR HISTORY, AND THE MEANS
FOR SUMMONING THEM.Copy !req
265. - IT IS USED BY CULTS
AROUND THE WORLD,Copy !req
266. MOST NOTABLY,
THE CULT OF CTHULHU.Copy !req
267. - AH-HA!Copy !req
268. THAT'S THE CULT THE CREEPY MAN
TALKED ABOUT, HEROES!Copy !req
269. UH, YOU OKAY, MYSTERION?Copy !req
270. - I'M FINE.Copy !req
271. - TEN ARRESTED IN SOUTH PARK
FOR CULTIST ACTIVITY.Copy !req
272. THIS IS FROM, LIKE,
TEN YEARS AGO.Copy !req
273. - SO THESE PEOPLE
HAVE BEEN WAITINGCopy !req
274. FOR CTHULHU A LONG TIME.Copy !req
275. - HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.Copy !req
276. DUDE! MYSTERION,
IT'S YOUR PARENTS!Copy !req
277. - UH, WHAT?Copy !req
278. WHAT THE FUCK?Copy !req
279. I MEAN, WHAT THE FUCK?Copy !req
280. - CLYDE!Copy !req
281. CLYDE, I TOLD YOU THIS MORNING
TO TAKE THE GARBAGE OUT.Copy !req
282. CLYDE, DO YOU HEAR ME?Copy !req
283. - OKAY, MOM.
JUST GIMME TWO MINUTES.Copy !req
284. NAG, NAG, NAG. ZZZT!Copy !req
285. - CONVINCING A GIANT CREATURE
FROM ANOTHER DIMENSIONCopy !req
286. TO DO WHAT YOU WANT
IS NO EASY TASK.Copy !req
287. AFTER DAYS OF KILLING
AND CONQUERING,Copy !req
288. CTHULHU IS AT REST.Copy !req
289. NOW IS MY CHANCE TO
MAKE A MOVE.Copy !req
290. PERHAPS LAST TIMECopy !req
291. I WAS TOO FORCEFUL
WITH THE DARK GOD,Copy !req
292. TOO DEMANDING.Copy !req
293. TO GET WHAT IT WANTS,Copy !req
294. SOMETIMES A COON MUST BE
ON THE ATTACK AND VICIOUS!Copy !req
295. BUT SOMETIMES, A COON MUST BE
CUDDLY AND CUTE.Copy !req
296. TIME FOR ME TO TRY
AND MANIPULATECopy !req
297. THE MOST EVIL THING
IN ALL THE UNIVERSE.Copy !req
298. - HEH! WHO'S
A SLEEPY LITTLE MAN?Copy !req
299. MY NAME IS THE LITTLE COON!Copy !req
300. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?Copy !req
301. - KRAAAAAA!Copy !req
302. - YOU'RE A SLEEPY MAN, EH?Copy !req
303. CTHULHU.Copy !req
304. WHO'S A NEEDS A TUMMY RUB?Copy !req
305. - [growling, cooing]Copy !req
306. - YOU'RE HOGGING IT ALL,
ASSHOLE.Copy !req
307. - 'CAUSE I PAID FOR IT,
YOU STUPID BITCH.Copy !req
308. - YOU PAID FOR IT
WITH THE MONEY I MADECopy !req
309. WASHIN' DISHES
AT THE OLIVE GARDEN!Copy !req
310. - I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP!Copy !req
311. - GIVE IT TO ME, YOU PRICK!Copy !req
312. - AAH!Copy !req
313. OH GOD, HE'S BACK!Copy !req
314. IT'S THAT MYSTERY KID AGAIN!Copy !req
315. - WHAT THE HELL
DO YOU WANT THIS TIME?Copy !req
316. HEY, LOOK, WE DID
WHAT YOU TOLD US.Copy !req
317. WE TREAT OUR KIDS BETTERCopy !req
318. AND WE DON'T BEAT EACH
OTHER UP AS MUCH!Copy !req
319. - AND WE GAVE OUR SONS
ALLOWANCESCopy !req
320. AND STOPPED GETTING HIGH
EVERY NIGHT.Copy !req
321. - I'M NOT HERE ABOUT THAT.Copy !req
322. - OH? SO, NOW WHAT?Copy !req
323. - TEN YEARS AGO,
YOU WERE ARRESTEDCopy !req
324. FOR BEING IN
SOME KIND OF CULT.Copy !req
325. - WE WERE?Copy !req
326. - WE'VE BEEN ARRESTED
LOTS OF TIMES, MYSTERIO.Copy !req
327. - MYSTERION.Copy !req
328. WHAT IS THE CULT OF CTHULHU?Copy !req
329. - OH, THAT THING.Copy !req
330. NO, WE WEREN'T
IN THAT STUPID GROUP.Copy !req
331. THEY JUST USED TO OFFER
FREE BEER AT THEIR MEETINGS,Copy !req
332. SO WE WOULD GO.Copy !req
333. - WHAT HAPPENED
AT THOSE MEETINGS?Copy !req
334. - TRUST US, WE DON'T REMEMBER.Copy !req
335. I KNOW IT SOUNDS
HARD TO BELIEVE,Copy !req
336. BUT WE WERE ACTUALLY
REALLY DRUNK THE ENTIRE TIME.Copy !req
337. - I DON'T FIND THAT
HARD TO BELIEVE AT ALL.Copy !req
338. - I SWEAR
WE HAVEN'T BEEN BACKCopy !req
339. TO THEIR MEETINGS
EVER SINCE.Copy !req
340. EVEN THOUGH WE ALWAYS
STILL GET INVITED.Copy !req
341. - THESE PEOPLE STILL MEET?
WHERE?Copy !req
342. - WHERE THEY ALWAYS DID.Copy !req
343. JIM MCELROY'S HOUSE.Copy !req
344. - THEY USED TO MEET
EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT.Copy !req
345. I THINK THEY STILL DO.Copy !req
346. DID THAT REALLY
JUST HAPPEN?Copy !req
347. - I DON'T THINK SO.Copy !req
348. - BREAKING NEWS
HERE IN THE GULF, TOM.Copy !req
349. THE DARK ANCIENT GOD CTHULHUCopy !req
350. HAS CALLED FOR
A PRESS CONFERENCE.Copy !req
351. THE OLD ONE TOLD REPORTERSCopy !req
352. IN A STATEMENT
RELEASED THIS MORNINGCopy !req
353. THAT IT HAS
EXTREMELY EXCITING NEWS.Copy !req
354. - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,Copy !req
355. TODAY WE ARE
PLEASED TO ANNOUNCECopy !req
356. THE SUCCESSFUL MERGER
OF CTHULHU AND THE COON.Copy !req
357. CTHULHU'S TRACK RECORD
FOR COMPLETE DOMINANCECopy !req
358. AND INTERDIMENSIONARY RULE
IS WITHOUT QUESTION,Copy !req
359. AND NOW,
COUPLED WITH THE LEGITIMACYCopy !req
360. AND INSTANTLY RECOGNIZABLE
BRAND NAME OF THE COON,Copy !req
361. WE INTEND TO BRING CHANGE
AND FIGHT INJUSTICE,Copy !req
362. AS THE ALL-NEW
COON AND FRIENDS.Copy !req
363. AND ANYBODY ELSE USING
THAT NAME FOR THEIR BENEFITCopy !req
364. IS BREAKING THE LAW.Copy !req
365. OH, WHAT'S THAT?Copy !req
366. THERE IS ANOTHER GROUP
USING OUR TRADEMARKED NAME?Copy !req
367. WELL, I GUESS
WE HAVE THE RIGHTCopy !req
368. TO BANISH THEM TO
A DARK OBLIVION, DON'T WE?Copy !req
369. PH'NGLUI
MGLW'NAFH CTHULHUCopy !req
370. R'LyEH WGAH'NAGL FHTAGN.Copy !req
371. - THE OLD ONE HAS AWAKENED!Copy !req
372. A LOT OF US HAVE WAITED
A LONG TIME FOR THIS DAY!Copy !req
373. WELL, FOR ALL OUR SOUTH PARK
CTHULHU CULT MEMBERS,Copy !req
374. OLD AND NEW,
IT IS TIME TO PAR-TAY!Copy !req
375. - THERE MUST BE CLUBS LIKE THIS
ALL OVER THE WORLD.Copy !req
376. - WE KNOW
SOME OF THESE PEOPLE.Copy !req
377. THERE'S MR. ADLER
FROM SHOP CLASS.Copy !req
378. AND THOSE TWO GEEKY
COMPUTER GUYS.Copy !req
379. - OH, MY GOD. LOOK.
BACK ROW.Copy !req
380. AREN'T THOSE THE GOTH KIDS?Copy !req
381. - I'M SO FREAKING STOKED
THAT CTHULHU IS GONNA SQUASHCopy !req
382. ALL THE HAPPY-GO-LUCKY
CONFORMISTS.Copy !req
383. - YEAH. I JUST HOPE
HE PUTS AN ENDCopy !req
384. TO THE FUCKING
DISNEY CHANNEL.Copy !req
385. - DUDE, WHY WOULD THE GOTH KIDS
WORSHIP CTHULHU?Copy !req
386. - MAKES SENSE.Copy !req
387. UNRELENTING DESPAIR AND
A THOUSAND YEARS OF DARKNESSCopy !req
388. SOUNDS PRETTY GOTH.Copy !req
389. - NOW LET US READ
FROM THE NECRONOMICON!Copy !req
390. "THAT IS NOT DEAD
WHICH CAN ETERNAL LIE."Copy !req
391. "AND WITH STRANGE AEONS—"Copy !req
392. - EVEN DEATH MAY DIE!Copy !req
393. - IN STRANGE AEONS
EVEN DEATH MAY DIE?Copy !req
394. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN,
HUMAN KITE?Copy !req
395. - I'M NOT SURE, TOOLSHED.Copy !req
396. COULD IT BE A RIDDLE,
MYSTERION?Copy !req
397. M-MYSTERION?Copy !req
398. - MYSTERION IS SO...
MYSTERIOUS.Copy !req
399. - A HORRIFIC SCENE
OF DESTRUCTION,Copy !req
400. DESPAIR, AND TERROR
HERE IN NEW ORLEANS.Copy !req
401. AND STILL, THERE IS NO SIGN
OF CAPTAIN HINDSIGHT.Copy !req
402. RUMOR HAS IT,
HE GOT SICK OF IT ALL,Copy !req
403. WENT BACK TO HIS CHAIR,
AND REMOVED ALL HIS POWERS.Copy !req
404. - WHERE ARE YOU,
CAPTAIN HINDSIGHT?Copy !req
405. AGGH!Copy !req
406. - PERHAPS HE SHOULDN'T HAVE
GOTTEN BACK IN THAT CHAIR.Copy !req
407. - DO YOU THINK
THE DARK LORD CTHULHUCopy !req
408. IS GONNA MAKE US
GO TO SCHOOL?Copy !req
409. - NO, ASS-MUNCH.Copy !req
410. CTHULHU JUST WANTS CHAOS,
BEDLAM, AND MADNESS.Copy !req
411. - GOOD. 'CAUSE IF I HAD TO GO
TO P.E. CLASS AGAIN,Copy !req
412. I WAS GONNA KILL MYSELF.Copy !req
413. WHO THE EFFING "H" IS THAT?Copy !req
414. - WHAT DOES IT MEAN?Copy !req
415. "THAT IS NOT DEAD
WHICH CAN ETERNAL LIE?"Copy !req
416. - "AND WITH STRANGE AEONS
EVEN DEATH MAY DIE."Copy !req
417. - WHAT DOES IT MEAN?Copy !req
418. - IT MEANS CTHULHU IS GONNA
GET RID OF ALL THE POSERSCopy !req
419. AND MAKE EVERYTHING COOL
AND BLACK AND STUFF.Copy !req
420. IT'S GONNA BE LIKE
A NINE INCH NAILS CONCERTCopy !req
421. THAT GOES ON FOREVER.Copy !req
422. - YEAH, SO GO HOME
AND PUT YOUR UNDERWEARCopy !req
423. BACK INSIDE
YOUR PANTS, POSER.Copy !req
424. - YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME
EVERYTHING YOU KNOW.Copy !req
425. - NOBODY IS STOPPING
CTHULHU NOW!Copy !req
426. ALL WILL BE SADNESS!Copy !req
427. LIFE WILL BECOME DEATHCopy !req
428. AND I WILL WATCH THE CRIMSON
BLOOD LEAK FROM YOUR NECK.Copy !req
429. - DUDE, THAT LITTLE KID
IS HARDCORE GOTH.Copy !req
430. - HARDCORE GOTH.Copy !req
431. - THE CHILD IS RIGHT,
YOU KNOW.Copy !req
432. CTHULHU SEES ALL.
HEARS ALL.Copy !req
433. THE DARK LORD WANTS US TO
DISPENSE OF THIS ONE, KIDS.Copy !req
434. GIVE US A HAND.
- WHAT?Copy !req
435. DUDE, I DON'T WANNA
KILL ANYBODY.Copy !req
436. - WE'RE DARK LORD MINIONS
NOW, WUSS.Copy !req
437. WHAT DID YOU THINK
WE'D BE DOING?Copy !req
438. - UGH. WHATEVS.Copy !req
439. - TOO-TOO-LOO CTHULHUCopy !req
440. CTHULHU CTHULHU
- YEAH!Copy !req
441. - THE EVIL
HATE-FILLED CTHULHUCopy !req
442. FROM A DIMENSION FAR AWAYCopy !req
443. FLYING THROUGH
GATES OF MADNESSCopy !req
444. AND INTO YOUR HEART
- YEAH! FUCK ALL YOU!Copy !req
445. - TURNING DREAMS
INTO NIGHTMARESCopy !req
446. - LICK MY BALLS!
- DESTROYING ALL HE SEESCopy !req
447. - NOW BEGINS A NEW ADVENTURE
FOR MEEEEEECopy !req
448. - YOU AND THE DARK ONE
CTHULHUCopy !req
449. SHARING ADVENTURES
AND SMILESCopy !req
450. IT'S A MAGICAL BOND
TWO PALS CAN SHARECopy !req
451. SOON THE WHOLE WORLD
WILL BE MADE AWARECopy !req
452. OF YOU
AND THE DEATH LORD CTHULHUCopy !req
453. MAKING THE WORLD
A BETTER PLACECopy !req
454. TOGETHER YOU WILL HAVE
SO MUCH FUNCopy !req
455. - SENDING ALL MY STUPID
FRIENDS TO OBLIVIONCopy !req
456. - YOU AND THE DARK ONE
CTHULHUCopy !req
457. - SUCK IT, BITCHES!Copy !req
458. - JUST HOLD STILL
AND IT WILL BE OVER QUICKLY!Copy !req
459. - ZZZZZZT!
LET HIM GO!Copy !req
460. COON AND FRIENDS, HO!Copy !req
461. MOSQUITO!
- TOOLSHED!Copy !req
462. - TUPPERWARE!
- TIMMY!Copy !req
463. - HUMAN KITE!
- MINTBERRY CRUNCH!Copy !req
464. - LET HIM GO, DUDE,Copy !req
465. OR ELSE WE'LL TOTALLY TELL
OUR PARENTS ON YOU.Copy !req
466. - SORRY, KIDS.
IT'S A LITTLE LATE FOR THAT.Copy !req
467. - UNH!Copy !req
468. - OH, MY GOD!Copy !req
469. OH, MY GOD!
THEY—THEY KILLED KENNY!Copy !req
470. - YOU BASTARDS!Copy !req
471. - DUDE, KENNY,
WHAT'D YOU RUN AWAY FOR?Copy !req
472. WE GOTTA FIGHT THESE GUYS!Copy !req
473. - YEAH COME ON!
GET YOUR COSTUME ON, LAZY ASS!Copy !req
474. - LET'S GO!Copy !req
475. - MINTBERRY CRUNCH!Copy !req