1. - Okay, Cartman,
you can stop singing now.Copy !req
2. - This is gonna be
so awesome, dude.Copy !req
3. I haven't been to the water
park in like over a year!Copy !req
4. - What do you guys
wanna do first?Copy !req
5. I hear they have
a new inner tube slide.Copy !req
6. - No, dude, we gotta go to
the wave pool first!Copy !req
7. It's so dope.Copy !req
8. As long as there aren't
any minorities.Copy !req
9. - What are you
talking about, Eric?Copy !req
10. - You know, there's always
like five or sixCopy !req
11. minorities wearing their
t-shirts in the wave pool.Copy !req
12. Pisses me off.Copy !req
13. - We're here!
It's the water park!Copy !req
14. - I'm gonna pick you boys up
right hereCopy !req
15. at 4:00, you got it?Copy !req
16. - Come on, let's go!
- We got it, dad.Copy !req
17. - Six adorable children,
please!Copy !req
18. Wave pool! Wave pool!Copy !req
19. Wave pool!Copy !req
20. Oh, what the hell?Copy !req
21. - All right.Copy !req
22. What do you guys
wanna ride first?Copy !req
23. - well, Cartman said he wanted
to do the wave pool first,Copy !req
24. right, Cartman?Copy !req
25. - Forget it.
Just forget it!Copy !req
26. - Dude, this is awesome!Copy !req
27. - You guys wanna seeCopy !req
28. how long I can hold my breath
under water?Copy !req
29. - Hey, fellas!
Fellas, hang on.Copy !req
30. I gotta go to the bathroom.Copy !req
31. - Okay. Go ahead.
- Okay. Thanks!Copy !req
32. - I can seriously hold my breath
longer than anybody.Copy !req
33. Somebody time me,
all right?Copy !req
34. - Okay.
- All right, check it out—Copy !req
35. Butters—Butters!
What the fuck?Copy !req
36. Are you peeing in the pool?Copy !req
37. - You said go ahead!Copy !req
38. - Come on, Kyle.
Let's check out the fireboats.Copy !req
39. - No, dude.
Butters' pee is in there!Copy !req
40. - Aw, come on.
Look at all this water.Copy !req
41. It doesn't matter
if one person pees in it.Copy !req
42. - Yeah, come on, Kyle.Copy !req
43. I am not the only person here
who's peed in the pool.Copy !req
44. Lots a people do.Copy !req
45. - No, they don't.
- Yeah, they do, Kyle.Copy !req
46. - To be perfectly frank,Copy !req
47. I peed in the pool
about 25 seconds ago.Copy !req
48. - Dude!Copy !req
49. - Come on, show us how long you
can hold your breath!Copy !req
50. - No!Copy !req
51. - guarde sus brazos y piernas
dentro del paseo—Copy !req
52. - Just do it in English!Copy !req
53. - After this, you guys wanna
hit the hurricane slides?Copy !req
54. - You bet.Copy !req
55. - I'm not getting back
in the water.Copy !req
56. - Oh, come on, Kyle.Copy !req
57. - Dude, I just found out that
everybody pees in pools.Copy !req
58. Why would I go back?Copy !req
59. - Not everybody pees in pools.Copy !req
60. - Do you pee in the pool?Copy !req
61. - Not today—yet.Copy !req
62. - Aw, come on!Copy !req
63. - Well dude,
what are you gonna do?Copy !req
64. Just hang out here
at the table all day?Copy !req
65. - Most likely.
- You guys!Copy !req
66. You guys, we have got problems
of biblical proportions!Copy !req
67. - Dude, where have you been?
- I've been counting.Copy !req
68. Do you know
there 205 Mexicans here?Copy !req
69. And there are
190 black people.Copy !req
70. - So what?Copy !req
71. - So...Copy !req
72. Guess how many white people
are at the water park today?Copy !req
73. 143.Copy !req
74. There are actually more
minorities here than us.Copy !req
75. - Well, then they're not
minorities, are they?Copy !req
76. - What do you mean?Copy !req
77. - Dumb ass, if there's
60% of them to 40% of us,Copy !req
78. then who's the minority?Copy !req
79. - The black and brown people.Copy !req
80. - No, you're the minority!Copy !req
81. - Do I look like a minority
to you, stupid?Copy !req
82. Now look, guys, I did
some calculations.Copy !req
83. Just last year there were
almost 90% normal peopleCopy !req
84. to minorities.Copy !req
85. That's a 50% rise
in one year.Copy !req
86. - This is more math
than I've ever seen you do.Copy !req
87. - Because it's important!Copy !req
88. A 50% rise each year
means that in three yearsCopy !req
89. the world will be only
minorities.Copy !req
90. That's 2012.
The Mayans predicted this!Copy !req
91. - The who?
- The Mayans.Copy !req
92. They knew that minorities
would take over the worldCopy !req
93. by the year 2012.Copy !req
94. And now it's happening!Copy !req
95. - I'm gonna go
on the slides.Copy !req
96. - Whoopee!
- You guys?Copy !req
97. You guys, we have to do
something to stop this!Copy !req
98. Come on!Copy !req
99. Well, looks like at least
you've got some senseCopy !req
100. left in you, Kyle.Copy !req
101. So what are we going to do
to keep the Mayans predictionCopy !req
102. from coming true, buddy?Copy !req
103. - Blow it out your ass,
Cartman.Copy !req
104. - Eugene!
That is disgusting!Copy !req
105. Did you just pee
in the pool?Copy !req
106. - Oh, come on!
Look how big this pool is.Copy !req
107. One person peeing in it isn't
going to hurt anything.Copy !req
108. - Eww!Copy !req
109. - Oh, my god!Copy !req
110. Ah, gentlemen!Copy !req
111. I am with the Pi Pi.Copy !req
112. How can I a help you?Copy !req
113. - Pi Pi, we have
some dire newsCopy !req
114. concerning your water park.Copy !req
115. - I've just finished
some tests.Copy !req
116. The water in your park
is now 98% pee.Copy !req
117. - Yes, so what's
the problem?Copy !req
118. - Pi Pi, you know
that acceptable pee levelsCopy !req
119. in any water park is 83% .Copy !req
120. You have to shut down.Copy !req
121. - What?
I can't-a close down now.Copy !req
122. It's my biggest-a weekend!Copy !req
123. Everyone is having the fun!Copy !req
124. - You're endangering
peoples' lives.Copy !req
125. If those pee levels hit 100% ,Copy !req
126. there's no telling
what'll happen!Copy !req
127. - And what proof
do you haveCopy !req
128. that the pee levels
will go up?Copy !req
129. - One in three people
admit they pee in pools.Copy !req
130. Add another for people
who do but don't admit it,Copy !req
131. that's two in three.Copy !req
132. You've got just over
500 people out there.Copy !req
133. That's 332 people
about to pee in your water!Copy !req
134. - Gentlemen, please.
I come from the Venice.Copy !req
135. Venice is almost all pee,Copy !req
136. and we do just fine.Copy !req
137. We swim-a in the pee,
we sing-a in the pee.Copy !req
138. You can't-a barge in here
and tell meCopy !req
139. that I have to close downCopy !req
140. just because my water park
has-a too much pee.Copy !req
141. - You have to
evacuate people now.Copy !req
142. - He said
he's not doing it!Copy !req
143. And as his lawyer, I advise
you gentlemen to leaveCopy !req
144. and take your wild
pee theories with you.Copy !req
145. - If one more person urinates
in your pool,Copy !req
146. it could set off
a chain reaction.Copy !req
147. Then the pee
will be on your hands.Copy !req
148. - Oh, boy! The waves are
startin' up again!Copy !req
149. - This is sweet,
huh, Kenny?Copy !req
150. - W-what's that?Copy !req
151. - Ahh!Copy !req
152. - It's pee!Copy !req
153. - Look out for the pee!Copy !req
154. - Aah! Gross!Copy !req
155. - Aah!Copy !req
156. It's the peeeee!Copy !req
157. - Ugh!Copy !req
158. - Aah!Copy !req
159. Oh, my God.
They killed Kenny!Copy !req
160. - Aw, sick!Copy !req
161. - I want
that entire water parkCopy !req
162. contained and quarantined
until I get some answers!Copy !req
163. - What's going on?Copy !req
164. - I told you people to keep
civilians back!Copy !req
165. - Sir, please,
my son is in there!Copy !req
166. What's happened?Copy !req
167. - We don't know yet,
all right?Copy !req
168. There's been a pee breach
and lot of people are dead.Copy !req
169. Now, I'm sorry,
but you're gonna have to—Copy !req
170. - Captain, these two men claim
to know the situation.Copy !req
171. - We warned the owner
of the park,Copy !req
172. but he refused to shut down.Copy !req
173. This was inevitable.Copy !req
174. - So this is all pee-related?
- Yes.Copy !req
175. I tested the pH levels
this morning.Copy !req
176. - And?Copy !req
177. - It was almost all pee,
No H.Copy !req
178. - Oh, my God.
I've gotta help him!Copy !req
179. - Stay back!Copy !req
180. - You can't just leave my son
in there with all that pee!Copy !req
181. - Sir, it's possible
with a craneCopy !req
182. we could help
any survivors out.Copy !req
183. - I think that would be
a very bad idea.Copy !req
184. - And why is that?Copy !req
185. - Anyone inside there
is contaminated.Copy !req
186. We have reason to believe
that when people are exposedCopy !req
187. to that much pee,
they... change.Copy !req
188. - Change how?Copy !req
189. - All right, bring in—
bring in the monkey.Copy !req
190. - We've only tested the theory
on monkeys so far.Copy !req
191. This monkey is healthy
and normal in every way.Copy !req
192. But now watch.Copy !req
193. - My God, he's become
full of rage!Copy !req
194. - Ah!Copy !req
195. - Kyle, quick!
You gotta swim over to us!Copy !req
196. - No way!Copy !req
197. - You gotta swim
over here, Kyle!Copy !req
198. - Come on, Kyle!
- Dude, that's all pee!Copy !req
199. - Well, if you don't
swim in it, you're gonna die!Copy !req
200. - I'll die
if I do swim in it!Copy !req
201. - Kyle, it's just pee.
It's not that big a deal.Copy !req
202. - Yes, it is a big deal!Copy !req
203. Why do you think
everyone washes their handsCopy !req
204. after they go
to the bathroom?Copy !req
205. - Well, not everyone
washes their handsCopy !req
206. after they go
to the bathroom.Copy !req
207. - What?Copy !req
208. - Come on, dude,
you gotta swim.Copy !req
209. - You don't wash your hands
after going to the bathroom?Copy !req
210. - Not... all the time.Copy !req
211. - That is gross!Copy !req
212. - Why? It's not like you're
peeing on your hands!Copy !req
213. There's more germs on most
furniture than there is in pee.Copy !req
214. - Yeah, if anything,
you should wash your handsCopy !req
215. before you touch
your wiener.Copy !req
216. - Kyle, come on!Copy !req
217. - Ah, goddamn it.Copy !req
218. Ahh! Oh! Ahh!Copy !req
219. - Do you need to wash
your hands?Copy !req
220. - I can't hold on—help!Copy !req
221. Help!Copy !req
222. - Here!
Hey, kid, grab this stick!Copy !req
223. - Yes! Yes, help me!Copy !req
224. Yes, help me!
I'm just a little boy!Copy !req
225. You have to help me!Copy !req
226. Oh! Ahh! Oh.Copy !req
227. - Are you okay?Copy !req
228. - Ha. Yes. Thank you.Copy !req
229. - Well, what are we
gonna do we do now?Copy !req
230. - We've gotta just
wait it out.Copy !req
231. - Yeah, but for how long?Copy !req
232. - We need to find something
to paddle with.Copy !req
233. - Day one.
It has happened.Copy !req
234. The Mayans were right.Copy !req
235. Only thing they got wrong
was the date.Copy !req
236. It is 2009,Copy !req
237. and I appear to be the last
of my species alive.Copy !req
238. Now it's just me all alone
with minorities.Copy !req
239. What will the minorities
do with me?Copy !req
240. I'm sure that's what's
on all their minds.Copy !req
241. I have to make myself seem
useful to them,Copy !req
242. or they will surely
not let me live.Copy !req
243. Ahem. Does anyone need
medical help?Copy !req
244. I am a doctor.Copy !req
245. - Randy—Randy, calm down!Copy !req
246. I can't understand
what you're saying.Copy !req
247. - It's the pee!Copy !req
248. It's all pee
and nobody can go in or out!Copy !req
249. - What is all pee?Copy !req
250. - Sharon, the water park
had a pee meltdown!Copy !req
251. They think a lot of people
have died.Copy !req
252. - What? What about Stan?
Is he okay?Copy !req
253. - I don't know!Copy !req
254. The whole water park
has been quarantined!Copy !req
255. They're worried anyone left
alive could be...Copy !req
256. Some kind of raging
hate-filled mutants!Copy !req
257. - Randy, you've got to do
something!Copy !req
258. - Calm down, Sharon!
All right, calm down!Copy !req
259. They're trying to find
an antidote.Copy !req
260. Once they believe
they can neutralizeCopy !req
261. the enraging effects
of the pee,Copy !req
262. they'll go in to look
for survivors.Copy !req
263. - I said keep the media out.Copy !req
264. If the public hears
about this,Copy !req
265. we'll have a full-scale
panic on our hands.Copy !req
266. Damn it!
Where is that antidote?Copy !req
267. - Here! Here!
We think we have it, sir!Copy !req
268. It's the best we could come up
with in such a short time.Copy !req
269. - We aren't sure
of the ramifications,Copy !req
270. but it does appear
to neutralizeCopy !req
271. some particles of the urine.Copy !req
272. - All right, let's test it.
Bring in the monkeys!Copy !req
273. - Let's hope to christ
this works.Copy !req
274. - No, damn it no!Copy !req
275. - They're still angry.Copy !req
276. - This one's really angry.Copy !req
277. - It's out of control!Copy !req
278. Find an antidote
that works!Copy !req
279. - Dude, why the hell aren't
people coming to help us?Copy !req
280. - I don't know.Copy !req
281. - Oh, why...Copy !req
282. Why didn't Pi Pi listen?Copy !req
283. They tried to warn-a the Pi Pi,
but the Pi Pi not believe them!Copy !req
284. - Who are you?Copy !req
285. - Oh, I so sorry!
This all my fault!Copy !req
286. I should have shut
my water park downCopy !req
287. when it reached 90% pee!Copy !req
288. - Yeah, well,
people should knowCopy !req
289. that peeing in pools is bad!Copy !req
290. - But wait!Copy !req
291. Maybe you boys
can-a help Pi Pi!Copy !req
292. In the maintenance room,Copy !req
293. there's the emergency
release valve!Copy !req
294. If you open it,
all this pee can-a be lowered!Copy !req
295. - Okay! Where's
the maintenance room?Copy !req
296. - That is-a the problem.Copy !req
297. The maintenance room is-a way
down on the basement level.Copy !req
298. I would do it, but the Pi Pi is
a no good at the swimming.Copy !req
299. Somebody will have to
dive down into the peeCopy !req
300. then stay there to turn
the release wheel.Copy !req
301. So... who can hold
their breath the longest?Copy !req
302. - No!Copy !req
303. - You said you can hold
your breath the longest, Kyle.Copy !req
304. - Not in pee!
- Please, you have to hurry.Copy !req
305. I'll draw you the map
and a instructionsCopy !req
306. how to shut off
the valve.Copy !req
307. It'll be as easy as-a peeing
in the shower!Copy !req
308. - Oh, who pees
in the shower?Copy !req
309. - Well, it's not like
if you suddenly have to peeCopy !req
310. you're gonna get
out of the shower.Copy !req
311. - Yeah, seeing
all that running waterCopy !req
312. always makes me need to pee.Copy !req
313. - You don't pee
in the shower, dude!Copy !req
314. That's fucking disgusting!Copy !req
315. - Boys, please!Copy !req
316. We've got to get this boy
to that drainage valveCopy !req
317. or we're all-a gonna die!Copy !req
318. - Jesus Christ!Copy !req
319. - it has been many, many hours
since the Apocalypse,Copy !req
320. and all I keep thinking is
why me?Copy !req
321. Why am I the only one of my race
God chose to surviveCopy !req
322. in this
minority-run world?Copy !req
323. When the smoke has cleared,Copy !req
324. I'm sure the minorities
will start rebuilding—Copy !req
325. building the world
in their way.Copy !req
326. I can see it now.Copy !req
327. Nooo...Copy !req
328. - Alright, Eric Cartman.Copy !req
329. Let's hear your book report.Copy !req
330. - I read Treasure Island
because I was so happyCopy !req
331. when I saw that movie.Copy !req
332. - Hey!Copy !req
333. You're living in a minority
speaking country now.Copy !req
334. Say it right.Copy !req
335. - because I was so happy
when I seen that movie.Copy !req
336. - Good.Copy !req
337. - Noooo...Copy !req
338. Trying to find a job will be
even harder.Copy !req
339. - You don't expect to make
the same amount of moneyCopy !req
340. that minorities make,
do you?Copy !req
341. - Well, I do just as much
work...Copy !req
342. - Ha, ha.
You're trash around here.Copy !req
343. You'll never make as much
as a minority.Copy !req
344. - Nooo...Copy !req
345. Eventually the minorities will
do away with me all together.Copy !req
346. - All those in favor of putting
white people in camps?Copy !req
347. Aye!Copy !req
348. - All those opposed?Copy !req
349. - Nooooo...Copy !req
350. - The minorities win!Copy !req
351. - No!Copy !req
352. No, I don't want to live in your
world, do you understand?Copy !req
353. Your world is cold and void
of any humanity!Copy !req
354. - Just kill me.
Kill me now!Copy !req
355. Do it!Copy !req
356. - Okay, there.Copy !req
357. We are almost a-ready
for the diving.Copy !req
358. Now if you run into
any problems,Copy !req
359. you just tug-a three times
on the cableCopy !req
360. and-a Pi Pi will a-pull
you back-a to the surface.Copy !req
361. - Let's just get this over with.Copy !req
362. - You got-a the map-a
and Pi Pi's instructions.Copy !req
363. - Yes.
- Good.Copy !req
364. Now just-a one last thing.Copy !req
365. You need to drink some-a pee.Copy !req
366. - What?Copy !req
367. - You just need to drink about-a
three cups-a pee.Copy !req
368. - Why?Copy !req
369. - You swim-a down deep in the
pee, you get-a the pressure.Copy !req
370. The benz-a!Copy !req
371. You have to fill the inside of
your body with some-a peeCopy !req
372. to compensate.Copy !req
373. - That's true, dude.
Didn't you see The Abyss?Copy !req
374. - I am not—
not drinking pee.Copy !req
375. - But only you can hold-a the
breath-a long time to swim-aCopy !req
376. down and release-a the valve
and if you get to the benz-aCopy !req
377. and you fail,
we all a die!Copy !req
378. - Just drink the pee, Kyle.Copy !req
379. - Please, Kyle.
I wanna go home!Copy !req
380. - What's-a the problem?Copy !req
381. When-a you pee, either in the
toilet or in the shower,Copy !req
382. it all goes to the sewer.Copy !req
383. The sewer all goes-a
to the ocean.Copy !req
384. The ocean is the water
we all-a drink.Copy !req
385. You are always drinking
the pee!Copy !req
386. - That doesn't make me feel
better!Copy !req
387. I wouldn't even be able
to keep it down!Copy !req
388. - Sure you will!Copy !req
389. You drank only pee for nine
months when you livedCopy !req
390. in your mother's-a belly!Copy !req
391. - No!Copy !req
392. - Make way!
Make way.Copy !req
393. I need to speak to
the fire marshal!Copy !req
394. Sir!Copy !req
395. Sir, I just got off the phone
with my colleaguesCopy !req
396. at the university.Copy !req
397. They've also been testing
antidotes on monkeys.Copy !req
398. They're claiming that they have
had successCopy !req
399. using simple musa acuminata.Copy !req
400. - Wait.
You mean a banana.Copy !req
401. - Yes.Copy !req
402. - Is it possibleCopy !req
403. the antidote is something
as simple as a banana?Copy !req
404. Get another monkey!Copy !req
405. - All right, Conners.Copy !req
406. - Holy God.
It works!Copy !req
407. - All right.
Let's start moving in, everyone!Copy !req
408. Check for—
- Hold on!Copy !req
409. It is a promising lead but this
antidote hasn't yet been testedCopy !req
410. on a human.Copy !req
411. - I'll do it.Copy !req
412. You can test the antidote
on me.Copy !req
413. - You sure you want to do this?Copy !req
414. - Give me the banana.Copy !req
415. Ugh...Copy !req
416. Ohh...Copy !req
417. Agh...Copy !req
418. Urghghgh...Copy !req
419. Oghgghgh!Copy !req
420. - He looks agitated.Copy !req
421. - Aghgh...Copy !req
422. Ahghg! Ahghggh!Copy !req
423. - He's losin' it!
Stevens, your gun!Copy !req
424. - No! Wait!
Wait.Copy !req
425. - Ugh.Copy !req
426. I—I'm okay.Copy !req
427. - He's alright!Copy !req
428. - The banana worked!Copy !req
429. - Come on, dude.
- I'm thinking about it!Copy !req
430. - Well,
it's probably b-b-betterCopy !req
431. if you don't think
about it, Kyle.Copy !req
432. - There's no more time-a!
You have to drink the pee now!Copy !req
433. - Agh, ahghgh!Copy !req
434. - Come on, you have
to drink all-a the pee!Copy !req
435. - You can do it, Kyle!Copy !req
436. - Ahghg!Copy !req
437. Ahghghggh!Copy !req
438. - Alright-a!Copy !req
439. Now you can open
the release-a valve.Copy !req
440. Okay, so let's-a—Copy !req
441. - Hey, look!Copy !req
442. - Stan!Copy !req
443. - Alright, they finally came
for us!Copy !req
444. - Are you fucking kidding me?Copy !req
445. - Wait here a minute, Stan.
I'm going to call your mother.Copy !req
446. - Guys! Guys!Copy !req
447. Oh, it's true!
You all did survive!Copy !req
448. - Aww, you lived?Copy !req
449. - Oh, my God, you guys!Copy !req
450. I really thought I was the only
non-minority on earth!Copy !req
451. How many of our species
survived?Copy !req
452. - That wasn't a Mayan
Apocalypse, you racist idiot!Copy !req
453. - It wasn't?
So then you mean...Copy !req
454. We do have until 2012.Copy !req
455. Well, it may be only three
years, but I intend to liveCopy !req
456. those precious years
to the fullest!Copy !req
457. - Will somebody just get me
to a hospital?Copy !req
458. I need to get my stomach pumped!Copy !req
459. - Aw, come on.
It was just a little pee, Kyle.Copy !req
460. - God dammit,
don't you get it?Copy !req
461. I hate pee!
I'm grossed out by pee!Copy !req
462. The only thing I find more
disgusting than pee is bananas!Copy !req
463. - Alright everyone, quick!
Here you go!Copy !req
464. - What's this?Copy !req
465. - You all need to eat your
banana immediately!Copy !req
466. - What the hell for?Copy !req
467. - Eat your banana or we will
have to put you down!Copy !req
468. - Aahghghghgh!Copy !req