1. Welcome to the televised broadcastCopy !req
2. of the Olympic opening
ceremonies from Beijing.Copy !req
3. Thousands of Chinese performersCopy !req
4. playing ancient Chinese drums.Copy !req
5. The precision of their movementsCopy !req
6. made even more impressive
by their massive numbers.Copy !req
7. No!Copy !req
8. The Chinese, no!Copy !req
9. Somebody has to stop them!Copy !req
10. No, no!Copy !req
11. Eric, sweetie, are you having nightmares
about the Chinese again?Copy !req
12. They're gonna take over the world!Copy !req
13. Ahh!Copy !req
14. Too many of them.Copy !req
15. No, leave us alone!Copy !req
16. No!Copy !req
17. Ahhh!
No, no!Copy !req
18. Sweetiekins, are you all right?Copy !req
19. Mom...Copy !req
20. Mom, the Chinese are gonna get me!Copy !req
21. No, sweetie, the Chinese
aren't going to get you.Copy !req
22. They are so!Copy !req
23. There's 2 billion of themCopy !req
24. and their economy is getting better,Copy !req
25. and with their advances in technology,Copy !req
26. they're gonna bring down America!Copy !req
27. All right, guys, we need to talk.Copy !req
28. Y'know, we can all just pretendCopy !req
29. that we didn't see
those opening ceremonies,Copy !req
30. but the Chinese are very real.Copy !req
31. We've gotta do something.Copy !req
32. Are we just gonna pretend
America is going to be okay?Copy !req
33. Are we just gonna wait until
they've taken over the world?Copy !req
34. I'm sorry.Copy !req
35. I'm sorry, I can't do this.Copy !req
36. I'm not doing this.Copy !req
37. Kyle, you're supposed to tell Cartman
he's being racist or something.Copy !req
38. Yeah, he's an idiot, but I'm sorry,Copy !req
39. I just, I can't do this anymore.Copy !req
40. Okay, I—
I can't do this anymore!Copy !req
41. Hmm.Copy !req
42. Kyle...Copy !req
43. Kyle, you can't keep doing this.Copy !req
44. You know what, at some point,Copy !req
45. you've gotta let this go.Copy !req
46. Yeah, well, maybe you can
forget what happened,Copy !req
47. but I can't.Copy !req
48. Look, what happened,
happened.Copy !req
49. We can't change it now.Copy !req
50. We all have to move on.Copy !req
51. Move on?Copy !req
52. Our friend was raped, Stan!Copy !req
53. He was raped!Copy !req
54. And we all stood there and did nothing!Copy !req
55. There was nothing we could do, Kyle!Copy !req
56. There was nothing we could do.Copy !req
57. We had to get out of there.Copy !req
58. Did we?Copy !req
59. Maybe we could've stopped them.Copy !req
60. How?Copy !req
61. I dream about it every night.Copy !req
62. Every time I close my eyes,
I see us just running away.Copy !req
63. Running while they rape
him over and over again.Copy !req
64. And because we did
nothing, they got away.Copy !req
65. You can't keep torturing
yourself like this, Kyle.Copy !req
66. Let it go.Copy !req
67. I'm glad that you guys can just keep living.Copy !req
68. I don't think I can.Copy !req
69. Goddamn it.Copy !req
70. Eric!Copy !req
71. Butters,
I need your help.Copy !req
72. Not now, Eric, I'm indecent.Copy !req
73. The Chinese are gonna
take us over, Butters,Copy !req
74. and we are the only people
who seem to care.Copy !req
75. The Chinese?Copy !req
76. I handed out flyers,
called together meetings,Copy !req
77. but it's like everyone's
turning a blind eye.Copy !req
78. The Chinese are taking over the worldCopy !req
79. and nobody's doing anything.Copy !req
80. It's up to you and me, Butters.Copy !req
81. We have to stop the Chinese now.Copy !req
82. Oh, I can't stop the Chinese tonight, Eric.Copy !req
83. I'm supposed to make
a model car with my Dad.Copy !req
84. You don't get it, Butters!Copy !req
85. Our lives are about to change.Copy !req
86. The Chinese outnumber
us a million to one.Copy !req
87. And when their army gets here,Copy !req
88. they're gonna kill your parents.Copy !req
89. Why are they gonna kill my parents?Copy !req
90. Because the Chinese hate Americans.Copy !req
91. That's why I've startedCopy !req
92. the American Liberation Front—Copy !req
93. a group dedicated to freeing America from
Chinese tyranny.Copy !req
94. Will you join me?Copy !req
95. I don't want my parents to die.Copy !req
96. So you'll join the
American Liberation Front?Copy !req
97. Well, sure.Copy !req
98. You and me,Copy !req
99. we're going to be the brave
little boys who fought back, Butters.Copy !req
100. We are not letting them
take over our country.Copy !req
101. Fuck the Chinese.Copy !req
102. Yeah, fuck 'em.Copy !req
103. No... no...Copy !req
104. No!Copy !req
105. No, we— no, we have to stop them!Copy !req
106. They're raping him!
Rape!Copy !req
107. Let's get out of here!Copy !req
108. - We can't just leave!
- Come on!Copy !req
109. Oh, it's horrible!Copy !req
110. Oh, God!Copy !req
111. Somebody do something!Copy !req
112. Why are they doing this?Copy !req
113. They're just taking
Indiana Jones and they're—Copy !req
114. They're raping him!Copy !req
115. I can't watch!Copy !req
116. Let's get out of here, Kyle!Copy !req
117. Why would Spielberg and Lucas do that?Copy !req
118. Come on, let's go!Copy !req
119. - Why are they doing this?
- Just run!Copy !req
120. Oh, God, what have they done?Copy !req
121. Why aliens?Copy !req
122. Aliens don't belong in
an Indiana Jones movie!Copy !req
123. Ba-bleahhh!Copy !req
124. Come on, dude,
there's nothing we can do.Copy !req
125. Why, why?Copy !req
126. We can't help him now.Copy !req
127. I thought it was pretty good!Copy !req
128. Let's just go,
let's just go!Copy !req
129. No!Copy !req
130. No... no.Copy !req
131. Oh, no!Copy !req
132. All right, Butters, we're here.Copy !req
133. Are you ready?Copy !req
134. I'm scared, but I know
my country needs me.Copy !req
135. This is it, Butters.Copy !req
136. We have to be strong.Copy !req
137. We're taking down those
goddamn Chinese right now.Copy !req
138. Things could get
ugly in there, Butters.Copy !req
139. We've gotta infiltrateCopy !req
140. and find out the Chinese invasion plans.Copy !req
141. But, Eric, why would the Chinese tell usCopy !req
142. their invasion plans?Copy !req
143. Because we're going to make them thinkCopy !req
144. we're one of them.Copy !req
145. Here, put these teeth inCopy !req
146. and just say "herro" and "prease" a lot.Copy !req
147. Oh, herro, prease.Copy !req
148. Bing-bong, ching-chong.Copy !req
149. Bing-bong, herro, prease.Copy !req
150. Uh, welcome to P.F. Chang's.
I'll be right with you.Copy !req
151. Eric, these people aren't Chinese.Copy !req
152. Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God!Copy !req
153. What?Copy !req
154. It's already started!Copy !req
155. White people in here
working for the Chinese.Copy !req
156. They're selling out their own country!Copy !req
157. Uh, can I help you?Copy !req
158. Uh, yes, herro, prease.Copy !req
159. We are Chinese peopre.Copy !req
160. Herro, prease.Copy !req
161. Ping-pow, ding-ling.Copy !req
162. Uh, yeah, why don't I seat you over here?Copy !req
163. Your waitress will be right with you.Copy !req
164. Ping-pow, shay-shah.Copy !req
165. What the hell is going on here?Copy !req
166. We've gotta sneak our way
into the back, Butters—Copy !req
167. there they are,
Chinese people!Copy !req
168. There's Chinese people right over there!Copy !req
169. You see them?Copy !req
170. Yeah.Copy !req
171. Oh, my God, the Chinese are here.Copy !req
172. Okay, okay, I'm freaked out,
I'm freaking out.Copy !req
173. Stay calm, Eric.Copy !req
174. They're right over thereCopy !req
175. and they're gonna start screamingCopy !req
176. and banging on those drumsCopy !req
177. and then they're gonna—Copy !req
178. Thank you, Butters.Copy !req
179. All right, we need to go over thereCopy !req
180. and find out what we
can from those commie rats.Copy !req
181. Oh, herro, prease, herro.Copy !req
182. Herro, prease.Copy !req
183. So nice to see other
Chinese peopre here.Copy !req
184. As you can see, we are
Chinese peopre ourselves.Copy !req
185. Bing-bong, bing-bong.Copy !req
186. Ching-chong, ping-pong.Copy !req
187. Yes, fey oh fing chang,Copy !req
188. fey ow fing chang-ching.Copy !req
189. So what are the plans to
take over America again?Copy !req
190. I forgot!Copy !req
191. Jimmy, I don't know what
to do about Kyle.Copy !req
192. Y'know, I— I don't think
he's ever gonna be the same.Copy !req
193. And what about you, Stan?Copy !req
194. We were all in the theater that day.Copy !req
195. We all saw it happen.Copy !req
196. Yeah, well, I just try not to think about it.Copy !req
197. I thought I could go on like before,Copy !req
198. but after seeing Indiana get raped—Copy !req
199. after seeing Indiana get raped,
I know I'll never be the s-s-s-sa-same.Copy !req
200. Do you remember that scene
with Indiana in the refrigerator?Copy !req
201. It didn't make any sense, Stan.Copy !req
202. I don't need this now.Copy !req
203. I just want things
to be the way they were.Copy !req
204. You can't run from it forever, Stan!Copy !req
205. Sooner or later, we all have to faceCopy !req
206. what we s-s-s-saw.Copy !req
207. Indiana Jones, all right!Copy !req
208. Hey there, Stan.Copy !req
209. All set to see my new adventure?Copy !req
210. You bet, Indiana!Copy !req
211. No, look out, Indie.Copy !req
212. It's Steven Spielberg and George Lucas!Copy !req
213. Well, well, hello there, Indiana.Copy !req
214. You're looking good.Copy !req
215. No, what are you gonna do to him?Copy !req
216. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
217. No!Copy !req
218. Indie!Copy !req
219. Yeah, get his pants down,
get his pants down!Copy !req
220. Hold him Lucas! Come on...Copy !req
221. He ain't going nowhere!Copy !req
222. Yeah!Copy !req
223. No, stop!Copy !req
224. Rape!Copy !req
225. Oohhhhhh!Copy !req
226. No!Copy !req
227. All right, Butters, I think we almost gotCopy !req
228. the Chinese to trust us.Copy !req
229. Now, as soon as they tell
us their invasion plan,Copy !req
230. make a run for that door, okay?Copy !req
231. Okay, okay.Copy !req
232. Ha-ha, that's a good one, Ping ling.Copy !req
233. Ha-ha—
so where were we?Copy !req
234. Oh, yes, the invasion pran.Copy !req
235. Invasion prang.Copy !req
236. What day is America invasion again?Copy !req
237. I forget!Copy !req
238. Excuse me, Miss?Copy !req
239. Yes, Sir?Copy !req
240. These people won't leave us alone.Copy !req
241. No, no, it's okay.Copy !req
242. We are Chinese peopre.Copy !req
243. You aren't Chinese.Copy !req
244. Oh, my God.Copy !req
245. We're busted!
What do we do?Copy !req
246. Okay, why don't we go—Copy !req
247. Bitch, stay back!Copy !req
248. Nobody moves, you got that?Copy !req
249. Don't touch us!Copy !req
250. We know what the Chinese are up to.Copy !req
251. We saw the Olympic opening ceremonies!Copy !req
252. The jig is up!Copy !req
253. Everyone just step over
to that wall, I mean it!Copy !req
254. Butters, hold this gun on them.Copy !req
255. A gun?Copy !req
256. Hold the gun on them, Butters!Copy !req
257. I don't want a gun, Eric.Copy !req
258. They're taking over our country, Butters!Copy !req
259. This is life or death now, help me!Copy !req
260. Oh, jeez.Copy !req
261. Everyone get up and get over to that wall.Copy !req
262. Do it, move!Copy !req
263. We are the American Liberation FrontCopy !req
264. and you are all going to payCopy !req
265. for betraying your
country to the Chinese!Copy !req
266. This is stupid, I'm leaving.Copy !req
267. Nobody's going anywhere
'til the police arrive.Copy !req
268. Screw you.Copy !req
269. - Shoot him, Butters!
- No!Copy !req
270. You have to shoot him,
Butters!Copy !req
271. He's gonna warn all the ChineseCopy !req
272. and they're gonna kill your parents!Copy !req
273. Do it, do it!Copy !req
274. Wah!Copy !req
275. Ow!Copy !req
276. Ahh, oww!Copy !req
277. Oh, dude, you shot him in the dick.Copy !req
278. Huh?Copy !req
279. That's not cool, Butters.Copy !req
280. You don't shoot a guy in the dick.Copy !req
281. But I was just trying to
stop him, and you said—Copy !req
282. It doesn't matter, Butters.Copy !req
283. You never shoot a guy in the dick!Copy !req
284. Everyone knows that.Copy !req
285. Shooting a guy in the dick?Copy !req
286. That's just—
that's just weak.Copy !req
287. I can't believe you, Butters.Copy !req
288. My name is Kyle Broflovski,Copy !req
289. my friend was raped last
memorial day weekend,Copy !req
290. and I...
I wanna help prosecuteCopy !req
291. the men responsible.Copy !req
292. You want to bring Steven SpielbergCopy !req
293. and George Lucas to trial
for raping Indiana Jones.Copy !req
294. I know that I'll have to testify,Copy !req
295. that I'll have to relive what I saw that day...Copy !req
296. but I can't let Spielberg
and Lucas get away with it.Copy !req
297. Not this time.Copy !req
298. Even if I have to do it alone.Copy !req
299. You aren't alone.Copy !req
300. Stan?Copy !req
301. We'll all testify.Copy !req
302. We can't let them ever do this again.Copy !req
303. - I love you.
- I love you too, Stan!Copy !req
304. Uh, kids, kids, I'm sorry,
but this is ridiculous.Copy !req
305. What, why?Copy !req
306. You don't have a case here.Copy !req
307. You can't really say
that Spielberg and LucasCopy !req
308. raped Indiana Jones in the new film.Copy !req
309. Did you see it?Copy !req
310. Yes, I saw it, but I...Copy !req
311. But I just try not to think about it.Copy !req
312. Then you saw what Lucas
and Spielberg did to him.Copy !req
313. I don't know what I saw!Copy !req
314. All right? I mean, it was
dark in the theater.Copy !req
315. I mean, maybe things got
a little out of hand with the plot.Copy !req
316. The third act clipped along—Copy !req
317. Indie deserved more than that!Copy !req
318. Get out!Copy !req
319. Just get the hell out of here!Copy !req
320. No, no, no!Copy !req
321. Well, well, Indiana Jones.Copy !req
322. You're looking nice.Copy !req
323. Hey... hey!Copy !req
324. Whoo!Copy !req
325. There you go, Lucas, stick him!Copy !req
326. Whoo, whoo!Copy !req
327. He's gonna do it right there!Copy !req
328. All right, all right, Georgie!Copy !req
329. Grab his hands, heh!Copy !req
330. Hey, leave him alone!Copy !req
331. Come on, big guy!Copy !req
332. Uurrgghhh!Copy !req
333. No... no!Copy !req
334. Wait!Copy !req
335. Wait, I...
I want to help!Copy !req
336. Look, we don't know
what you're talking about.Copy !req
337. There's no Chinese plan to take over America.Copy !req
338. Shut up!Copy !req
339. These American traitors might have boughtCopy !req
340. your propaganda, but not us.Copy !req
341. Oh, thank God, the police are here.Copy !req
342. We're safe!Copy !req
343. You with the gun,Copy !req
344. step out or we will fire upon you.Copy !req
345. No, no, you got it wrong.Copy !req
346. We aren't the Chinese,
we're the good guys—Copy !req
347. Ahh!Copy !req
348. Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God!Copy !req
349. What?Copy !req
350. One of the cops is Chinese!Copy !req
351. Son of a bitch, how high up
does this thing go?Copy !req
352. We can't trust anybody here, Butters.Copy !req
353. Don't come any closer!Copy !req
354. We have information
that we will only trustCopy !req
355. with the President of the United States.Copy !req
356. The President?Copy !req
357. All right, come on, men, we're going in.Copy !req
358. No!Copy !req
359. Goddamn it, we're serious!Copy !req
360. We'll only talk to the President.Copy !req
361. Stop!Copy !req
362. Fire a warning sign, Butters!Copy !req
363. Ahh!
Ow, oww!Copy !req
364. Dude, what the fuck are you doing?Copy !req
365. What?
What happened?Copy !req
366. Goddamn it, Butters,
what did I say aboutCopy !req
367. shooting guys in the dick?Copy !req
368. Aww, I did it again?Copy !req
369. What the hell is wrong with you?Copy !req
370. That is not cool, Butters!Copy !req
371. That is not cool!Copy !req
372. You don't fucking do that!Copy !req
373. You don't shoot a guy in the dick!Copy !req
374. Well, okay, I'm sorry.Copy !req
375. It's not okay!Copy !req
376. Defeating the Chinese
won't mean anythingCopy !req
377. if we do it by going around,
shooting people in the dick!Copy !req
378. Goddamn it!Copy !req
379. It's all right there in front of you, detective.Copy !req
380. Five sworn statements from
these brave boys.Copy !req
381. It's now up to you.Copy !req
382. Are you nuts?Copy !req
383. I'm not going out and arrestingCopy !req
384. Steven Spielberg and George Lucas.Copy !req
385. But they raped Indiana Jones.Copy !req
386. I know it's hard to think about,Copy !req
387. but you have to be strong.Copy !req
388. Remember how that
movie made you feel.Copy !req
389. I didn't see it.Copy !req
390. You didn't see the new
Indiana Jones movie?Copy !req
391. No!Copy !req
392. I don't think anybody here saw it.Copy !req
393. Did you, Mitch?Copy !req
394. Mitch?Copy !req
395. Well, well, Indiana Jones.Copy !req
396. What you doing in our neck of the woods?Copy !req
397. Now let's you just drop them pants.Copy !req
398. Drop?Copy !req
399. Just take 'em right off.Copy !req
400. What do you guys want?Copy !req
401. Don't say anything, just do it.Copy !req
402. Oh...Copy !req
403. Pull off that little old
bitty shirt there, too.Copy !req
404. Them panties—
take 'em off.Copy !req
405. Ugh, ugh...Copy !req
406. There, boy!Copy !req
407. I bet you can squeal.Copy !req
408. I bet you can squeal like a pig.Copy !req
409. Go on, squeal.Copy !req
410. - Squeal now.
- Hee...Copy !req
411. Squeal! Weee!Copy !req
412. - Squeal!
- Weee!Copy !req
413. - Squeal louder! Weee!
- Weee!Copy !req
414. - Louder, louder! Weee! Louder!
- Weee!Copy !req
415. - Get down there, boy!
- Weee!Copy !req
416. Get them britches down.Copy !req
417. Yes, Sir, come on, squeal.Copy !req
418. Weeee!Copy !req
419. Weee...Copy !req
420. Weeeee!Copy !req
421. Ahhh!Copy !req
422. It's okay, you don't
have to feel alone anymore.Copy !req
423. No, no, you listen to me.Copy !req
424. I have Chinese attackers hereCopy !req
425. and Chinese supporters.Copy !req
426. If I go outside,Copy !req
427. there are more Chinese
ready to take me down!Copy !req
428. Defending America is all
that matters, Mr. President,Copy !req
429. and I will stop at nothing.Copy !req
430. - Do you understand that—Copy !req
431. What happened?Copy !req
432. They tried to come in through the roof.Copy !req
433. They were gonna take the gun!Copy !req
434. Good, did you kill them?Copy !req
435. Not exactly.Copy !req
436. Oww, oohh, it stings!Copy !req
437. Ooohh!Copy !req
438. It's not where I aimed, honest!Copy !req
439. Dude.Copy !req
440. I seriously didn't mean it!Copy !req
441. Dude!Copy !req
442. You know what, Butters,
you know what?Copy !req
443. Forget it.Copy !req
444. W-where you going, Eric?Copy !req
445. You can just deal with the
Chinese invasion yourself,Copy !req
446. if that's how you're gonna do it, Butters.Copy !req
447. I'm out, man.Copy !req
448. But— I'm by myself?Copy !req
449. I didn't sign up for this.Copy !req
450. You take your American Liberation FrontCopy !req
451. and you shove it up your ass.Copy !req
452. That's it, kill me, do whatever.Copy !req
453. I can no longer conscionably be a part
of the American Liberation Front.Copy !req
454. Go inside, move!Copy !req
455. George Lucas and Steven Spielberg,Copy !req
456. we have a warrant for your arrest.Copy !req
457. Break it in.Copy !req
458. My God.Copy !req
459. Hey, what the hell are you doing here?Copy !req
460. You got nothing on us!Copy !req
461. 700 million box office!Copy !req
462. This is bullshit!Copy !req
463. Ahhh, ahhh!Copy !req
464. Boys, we got 'em.Copy !req
465. What?Copy !req
466. Spielberg and Lucas,
they were rapingCopy !req
467. a Storm Trooper when the police broke in.Copy !req
468. And they found the dead, raped bodiesCopy !req
469. of Yoda and Short Round in their closet.Copy !req
470. They'll never be free to do this again.Copy !req
471. So what now?Copy !req
472. Do you think things can ever go
back to n-n-normal after this?Copy !req
473. What do we do?Copy !req
474. We live.Copy !req
475. That's what Indie would have wanted.Copy !req
476. We just try to live.Copy !req
477. Everyone just stay where you are
until we can sort this all out.Copy !req
478. There's nothing to sort out.Copy !req
479. These kids need to be put in jail.Copy !req
480. We're going to search everyoneCopy !req
481. and get statements and then—Copy !req
482. Sir!
Sir, it's over!Copy !req
483. - They got 'em.
- Got who?Copy !req
484. Spielberg and Lucas, they finally got 'emCopy !req
485. for what they did to Indiana Jones, Sir.Copy !req
486. Ahh, ahhh!Copy !req
487. Ohh, they got 'em.Copy !req
488. They got 'em.Copy !req
489. It's over.Copy !req
490. That means they'll never
be free to rape again.Copy !req
491. It's over,
it's over!Copy !req
492. Justice!Copy !req
493. - They got 'em,
- It's over!Copy !req
494. I love you.Copy !req
495. I love you, too!Copy !req
496. So wait, that's it?Copy !req
497. What about the Chinese invasion?Copy !req
498. I really don't care anymore, Butters.Copy !req
499. You see, I've learned something today.Copy !req
500. As Americans, our fear of seeingCopy !req
501. another country become powerfulCopy !req
502. can turn us into monsters.Copy !req
503. Watching how crazy you went,Copy !req
504. watching you just shoot
people in the dick like that,Copy !req
505. it made me realize that
I want America to be safe,Copy !req
506. but not at the cost of losing its dignity.Copy !req
507. I'd rather us be ChineseCopy !req
508. than a nation of unethical dick-shooters.Copy !req
509. You think about it.Copy !req
510. I can't believe they put 'em in jail.Copy !req
511. I thought that movie was pretty good.Copy !req