1. All right, this time it's me and KennyCopy !req
2. versus you two assholes.Copy !req
3. - Fine.
- Oh, dude!Copy !req
4. What's with all the homeless people?Copy !req
5. Sir, could you move a little please?Copy !req
6. Spare some change?Copy !req
7. Oh, dude, he smells like Kenny's house.Copy !req
8. Get outta here!Copy !req
9. You guys, that's not cool.Copy !req
10. These people have nowhere to go.Copy !req
11. They don't have food or shelter.Copy !req
12. We have to do something.Copy !req
13. Well, dude, what are we supposed to do?Copy !req
14. Yeah, what are we supposed to do?Copy !req
15. No, Kyle's right, you guys.Copy !req
16. We should do something.Copy !req
17. Really? Yeah.Copy !req
18. I know what you're thinking, Kyle,Copy !req
19. and I'm with you.Copy !req
20. I know exactly what we should do.Copy !req
21. Gather around and witness the gloryCopy !req
22. as Eric Cartman attempts to jumpCopy !req
23. his skateboard over the homeless.Copy !req
24. Thank you, thank you!Copy !req
25. The ramp ready?Copy !req
26. Yeah, it's all set.Copy !req
27. He won't make it.Copy !req
28. Excuse me!Copy !req
29. This isn't exactly what I had in mind!Copy !req
30. All right, here we go!Copy !req
31. Jimmy?Copy !req
32. Oof... Ugh!Copy !req
33. Yes!Copy !req
34. I did it!Copy !req
35. I jumped over the homeless!Copy !req
36. Yes!Copy !req
37. That was a sweet idea, Kyle.Copy !req
38. God damn it... that wasn't my idea!Copy !req
39. All right, people, we need to
come up with answers.Copy !req
40. There are homeless
sprouting up all over town.Copy !req
41. What are we supposed to do?Copy !req
42. Well, I sort of had an idea.Copy !req
43. Please, Mr. Valmer.Copy !req
44. We could give the homelessCopy !req
45. all designer sleeping bags
and make-overs.Copy !req
46. At least that way they'd
be pleasant to look at.Copy !req
47. - Oh, that's a good idea.
- I like it.Copy !req
48. Well, I was thinkingCopy !req
49. we could turn the homeless into tires,Copy !req
50. so that we'd still have homeless,Copy !req
51. but we could use them on our cars.Copy !req
52. - Ooh, that's a good one!
- Nice one, Randy.Copy !req
53. That's like recycling.Copy !req
54. All right, enough!Copy !req
55. I find this whole conversation
to be extremely offensive.Copy !req
56. The homeless aren't
monsters, they are people.Copy !req
57. Like you and me.Copy !req
58. You mean they've adapted?Copy !req
59. Copied our D.N.A.?Copy !req
60. Excuse me.Copy !req
61. I am the top researcher
of homeless studiesCopy !req
62. for Park County.Copy !req
63. I don't know why more homeless peopleCopy !req
64. are showing up in town,Copy !req
65. but I do know that
we must be extremely careful.Copy !req
66. If we give them anything,
there could be more.Copy !req
67. Hi.Copy !req
68. I've, uh, I've been saving up
for a new Xbox game, but...Copy !req
69. But I think you could use the moneyCopy !req
70. a lot more than I could.Copy !req
71. Listen, I... I want you to take this.Copy !req
72. It's $20.Copy !req
73. Got any more?Copy !req
74. No, that's... I thought that was a lot.Copy !req
75. Spare any change?Copy !req
76. You're welcome.Copy !req
77. Oh, crap.Copy !req
78. Dude, what are all these homeless peopleCopy !req
79. doing in front of your house?Copy !req
80. I don't know!Copy !req
81. There's a bunch outside my house, too.Copy !req
82. Spare any change, sir?Copy !req
83. No! Fuck off!Copy !req
84. I don't get it.Copy !req
85. My dad said as long as nobodyCopy !req
86. gave them money they'd move on.Copy !req
87. - He did?
- Well, this is bullcrap.Copy !req
88. Somebody has to be responsible.Copy !req
89. Well, I kind of gave a
homeless guy $20 last night.Copy !req
90. You what?Copy !req
91. Oh, come on, that can't be
why they're all here.Copy !req
92. There has to be another reason!Copy !req
93. Kyle, what were you thinking?Copy !req
94. Yeah!Copy !req
95. I can't possibly jump
this many homeless people!Copy !req
96. I won't risk it!Copy !req
97. I could jump two homeless
people, maybe three.Copy !req
98. But asking me to jump this manyCopy !req
99. is asking me to risk my life, Kyle!Copy !req
100. I don't want you to jump them, retard!Copy !req
101. Spare some change?Copy !req
102. No, sorry, I don't have any change.Copy !req
103. Got any change?Copy !req
104. No, sorry.Copy !req
105. Can you spare some change?Copy !req
106. Change?Copy !req
107. Agh... I don't have any change!Copy !req
108. - Change?
- No!Copy !req
109. Change?Copy !req
110. Spare some change?Copy !req
111. Leave me alone, I don't have any change!Copy !req
112. All right, God bless you, sir.Copy !req
113. Oh, now I feel bad.Copy !req
114. Here!Copy !req
115. Hagh... Hagh!Copy !req
116. - Change? Change?
- Change?Copy !req
117. No, no, that was really
all the change I had.Copy !req
118. Spare some change?Copy !req
119. I just gave you change!Copy !req
120. Change?Copy !req
121. - Change? - Change?
- Change? - Change?Copy !req
122. Spare some change? Change?Copy !req
123. Agh!Copy !req
124. - Change?
- Change?Copy !req
125. I don't have any more change!Copy !req
126. - Change? Spare some change?
- All right, God bless.Copy !req
127. No!Copy !req
128. I don't have any change!Copy !req
129. I don't have any change!Copy !req
130. Okay, that'll be great.Copy !req
131. Let's also make sure
we have enough chairsCopy !req
132. in the community center
for everyone to attend.Copy !req
133. Agh!Copy !req
134. Agh!Copy !req
135. Stay away, stay away!Copy !req
136. Randy?Copy !req
137. Randy what happened?Copy !req
138. Agh!Copy !req
139. I don't have any change!Copy !req
140. I don't have any change!Copy !req
141. This is a news 5 special bulletinCopy !req
142. with Chris Swollenballs.Copy !req
143. South Park has become overrun
with the homeless.Copy !req
144. Nearly every square
inch of public propertyCopy !req
145. is now riddled with homeless,
shutting down roadwaysCopy !req
146. and making getting around impossible.Copy !req
147. Many people are trapped
throughout the town.Copy !req
148. Help! Help! Help! Help!Copy !req
149. Help me! Help us!Copy !req
150. Dude, it's our dads!Copy !req
151. Oh, my God.Copy !req
152. In the meantime, South Park
citizens are being advisedCopy !req
153. to stay indoors
and protect their change.Copy !req
154. Spare some change?Copy !req
155. What the... You can't be in here.Copy !req
156. You got any change, sir?Copy !req
157. No, I don't have any change.Copy !req
158. How'd he get in here?Copy !req
159. Change?Copy !req
160. No... please... I don't have any change!Copy !req
161. Honest, I don't! I don't have any...Copy !req
162. You see what you did, Kyle?Copy !req
163. Come on, we have to try and helpCopy !req
164. our stupid parents.Copy !req
165. Change! They're everywhere!Copy !req
166. What are you boys doing?Copy !req
167. Get in!Copy !req
168. Change? Spare change?Copy !req
169. - Spare any change, sir?
- Ahh!Copy !req
170. Come on, let's go!Copy !req
171. Change?Copy !req
172. What the hell are you doing outside?Copy !req
173. Our parents are stuck
on top of a building in town.Copy !req
174. You aren't getting into town!Copy !req
175. It's completely overrun
with these things!Copy !req
176. Ahh!Copy !req
177. Ahg! Ahg! Ahg! Ahg!Copy !req
178. No!Copy !req
179. No, I don't need my windshield cleaned!Copy !req
180. Stop it, stop it!Copy !req
181. Look, our only hope is to talk toCopy !req
182. the homeless researcher
out on Travis street.Copy !req
183. He understands what's
going on better than anybody.Copy !req
184. Just stick with me, kids.Copy !req
185. Agh!Copy !req
186. Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh!Copy !req
187. Ahh!Copy !req
188. Holy shit, dude!Copy !req
189. Over here!Copy !req
190. Jump down! Go!Copy !req
191. Oh, God, it really smellsCopy !req
192. like Kenny's house down here!Copy !req
193. Dude, shut the fuck up about my house!Copy !req
194. Whoa, Kenny, relax, dude!Copy !req
195. We need to work together!Copy !req
196. Come on, we gotta get to
that scientist's house.Copy !req
197. - Change? Change?
- Spare some change? Change?Copy !req
198. Change?Copy !req
199. Spare some change?Copy !req
200. No sign of anybody else.Copy !req
201. That's it.Copy !req
202. I'm gonna make a break for it.Copy !req
203. Don't be crazy, Gerald.Copy !req
204. You'll never get through
all those homeless people.Copy !req
205. And even if you did, what then?Copy !req
206. You can't drive anywhere.Copy !req
207. If I can make it through them,Copy !req
208. maybe I can catch the bus to Fairplay.Copy !req
209. I have to try.Copy !req
210. You won't make it through, Gerald!Copy !req
211. - Change? Spare some change?
- Got some change?Copy !req
212. Ahh... Ahh!Copy !req
213. - Change, sir? Change, sir?
- Got some change?Copy !req
214. Don't have any change.Copy !req
215. - Change?
- Just need some change, sir!Copy !req
216. Don't have any change.Copy !req
217. - Change? Change?
- Change?Copy !req
218. Damn it!Copy !req
219. All right, you want change?Copy !req
220. Here!Copy !req
221. There... there's some change!Copy !req
222. All right, a little bit!Copy !req
223. There you go, take the change!Copy !req
224. Oh, wait...Copy !req
225. wait, now I don't have any
change left for the bus.Copy !req
226. Hold on... can I just back
some of that change, please?Copy !req
227. Change, sir?Copy !req
228. Could I just have a little
change for the bus, please?Copy !req
229. I need a little...Copy !req
230. Anybody have some change?Copy !req
231. Change? Got any change?Copy !req
232. Change? Change?Copy !req
233. What happened?Copy !req
234. He's become one of them.Copy !req
235. - Change? Change?
- Got some change? Change?Copy !req
236. - God bless.
- Spare change?Copy !req
237. Go away... I don't have any change.Copy !req
238. Are you the head of homeless studies?Copy !req
239. Yes... who are you?Copy !req
240. We think this may be our friend's fault.Copy !req
241. He gave one of
the homeless $20 yesterday.Copy !req
242. Oh, my God... get in here.Copy !req
243. Tell me what's going on.Copy !req
244. There's a bunch of peopleCopy !req
245. trapped in the middle of town
surrounded by homeless people.Copy !req
246. We can't get to them.Copy !req
247. All right, all right... look,
I didn't wanna risk it,Copy !req
248. but I think I know what to do.Copy !req
249. I'll try to jump all those homelessCopy !req
250. and get to the people on that roof.Copy !req
251. Jump them?Copy !req
252. I jump the homeless professionally.Copy !req
253. If you can get me a skateboard,Copy !req
254. I'll try to jump that homeless crowdCopy !req
255. and save those people.Copy !req
256. Oh, shut up, Cartman!Copy !req
257. All you did was
jump over one homeless guy!Copy !req
258. I easily could have
cleared another 30 or 40.Copy !req
259. You barely made it over one, fat ass!Copy !req
260. Kyle, enough!Copy !req
261. Cartman jumping more homeless peopleCopy !req
262. isn't gonna solve anything right now.Copy !req
263. God damn it!Copy !req
264. I don't want him to jump over more...Copy !req
265. Boys, boys, I don't think
you quite understandCopy !req
266. how the homeless function.Copy !req
267. Perhaps you should come
downstairs to my laboratory.Copy !req
268. - Spare some change? Change?
- Spare some change? Change, sir?Copy !req
269. We don't have any change!Copy !req
270. Go away!Copy !req
271. Anything, Stephen?Copy !req
272. No, all the phone lines
are completely down.Copy !req
273. Hello?Copy !req
274. It's Steve Garret from the library.Copy !req
275. Please let us in.Copy !req
276. Find another place to hide, Steve.Copy !req
277. I have others with me.Copy !req
278. We've nowhere else to go!Copy !req
279. One woman here is pregnant.Copy !req
280. We can't just leave them out there!Copy !req
281. Let us in!Copy !req
282. For God's sake, they're coming!Copy !req
283. No, no, I'm sorry, we don't
have any change!Copy !req
284. You have to let them in, Randy!Copy !req
285. There isn't enough food
for more people up here!Copy !req
286. Oh, God, one of them is a war veteran!Copy !req
287. We're gonna have to
give him some change!Copy !req
288. This isn't happening!Copy !req
289. All right, all right, fine!Copy !req
290. Ahh. Ahh. Ahh. Ahh.Copy !req
291. Could you spare some change, sir?Copy !req
292. Agh!Copy !req
293. I've dissected several homelessCopy !req
294. to see what makes them tick.Copy !req
295. Their anatomy is
shockingly similar to ours.Copy !req
296. See?Copy !req
297. Everything is there:
heart, lungs, kidneys.Copy !req
298. They are almost identical
to us in every way.Copy !req
299. Except for one.Copy !req
300. The homeless can survive
solely on change.Copy !req
301. Change?Copy !req
302. They feed on our change.Copy !req
303. They need it in order
to keep them moving.Copy !req
304. Is that... Is that some spare change?Copy !req
305. Somehow they're able to take our changeCopy !req
306. and turn it into
nourishment, sustenance.Copy !req
307. Spare some of that change, sir?Copy !req
308. But now watch.Copy !req
309. Spare some change?Copy !req
310. It has already completely forgottenCopy !req
311. that I have given it change.Copy !req
312. It just wants more change.Copy !req
313. Look over here.Copy !req
314. This one I've kept deprived
of change for over three days.Copy !req
315. Change?Copy !req
316. What's it doing?Copy !req
317. It's dying.Copy !req
318. Cool.Copy !req
319. I've learned that
the nearby city of EvergreenCopy !req
320. had a homeless problem
just before we did,Copy !req
321. and they were able to stop it.Copy !req
322. Excuse me?Copy !req
323. The front door was open.Copy !req
324. Can I borrow some change?Copy !req
325. - Change?
- Change?Copy !req
326. Oh, my God, they're coming in!Copy !req
327. Quick, kids, get out of here.Copy !req
328. You can fit!Copy !req
329. What about you?Copy !req
330. Get to Evergreen and find outCopy !req
331. how they got rid of the homeless.Copy !req
332. I'll be all right!Copy !req
333. Agh... stop pushing, Kenny!Copy !req
334. Hello?Copy !req
335. I'm sorry... I just really need
some change for the bus.Copy !req
336. - Change? Spare some change?
- Change?Copy !req
337. Stop it! I really do need change!Copy !req
338. Me too. Change?Copy !req
339. Change?Copy !req
340. Hello?Copy !req
341. Do you have any change?Copy !req
342. Change?Copy !req
343. Sorry to take the easy way out.Copy !req
344. Ow! Oh, fuck!Copy !req
345. Ow!Copy !req
346. Ooh... Ahg!Copy !req
347. God!Copy !req
348. Argh... Argh...Copy !req
349. Argh... Argh...Copy !req
350. Arghhh, arhhh, arhhh...Copy !req
351. Agh... Ow!Copy !req
352. Ugh... Agh... Ow!Copy !req
353. - Change? Change?
- Spare some change?Copy !req
354. No, no... damn it!Copy !req
355. That's it.Copy !req
356. That's it, everyone.Copy !req
357. We're out of Pop-tarts.Copy !req
358. No, we can't be!Copy !req
359. Face it... we're gonna starve!Copy !req
360. No, no, wait... there's
still a box over here.Copy !req
361. Those are cherry!Copy !req
362. Ewwgh!Copy !req
363. Wait... I've got a signal,
I've got a signal!Copy !req
364. - What? You do?
- How?Copy !req
365. Call the fire department.Copy !req
366. I'm calling my wife!Copy !req
367. Mary... Mary, baby, are you all right?Copy !req
368. Oh, maybe we're gonna be okay.Copy !req
369. Ask her what's happening!Copy !req
370. Mary what's going on out there?Copy !req
371. Nobody's coming for us!Copy !req
372. They what?Copy !req
373. No, that's impossible!Copy !req
374. But how can that be? We didn't even...Copy !req
375. Hello? Mary, Mary?Copy !req
376. What happened, Glen?Copy !req
377. There's no help coming.Copy !req
378. She said because of all the homeless...Copy !req
379. Because of all
the homeless in South Park,Copy !req
380. property values have plummeted.Copy !req
381. I had two liens against my houseCopy !req
382. and so the bank is foreclosing!Copy !req
383. I don't have a home anymore.Copy !req
384. Randy, what are you doing?Copy !req
385. He's homeless now.Copy !req
386. We aren't safe!Copy !req
387. I'm not like them!Copy !req
388. Not yet.Copy !req
389. It's only a matter of time.Copy !req
390. And what are you gonna do, huh?Copy !req
391. Just blow his head off?Copy !req
392. If we have to!Copy !req
393. Sit down, Glen.Copy !req
394. Randy, you can't just...Copy !req
395. Sit down!Copy !req
396. Change?Copy !req
397. This is crazy... how can they
just take away my house?Copy !req
398. Where am I supposed
to put all my things?Copy !req
399. I don't have a place for all my stuff!Copy !req
400. Where am I supposed to put my stuff?Copy !req
401. I'll need to pay for storage.Copy !req
402. Can I borrow some money to
put my stuff in storage?Copy !req
403. Come on, guys.Copy !req
404. If you all just
help me out a little bit.Copy !req
405. Each one of you just put
in a little change.Copy !req
406. Change?Copy !req
407. What the hell happened here?Copy !req
408. That's far enough.Copy !req
409. Just march your butts
right back out of our town.Copy !req
410. We just came to ask a question.Copy !req
411. You homeless or homeowners?Copy !req
412. We're nine.Copy !req
413. Yeah, well, that makes you homeless,Copy !req
414. so get out of here before you die.Copy !req
415. Look, we just need helpCopy !req
416. with our own homeless problem.Copy !req
417. Yeah, this Jew here made
them take over our town.Copy !req
418. Shut up, Cartman!Copy !req
419. Cartman?Copy !req
420. Eric Cartman?Copy !req
421. The kid who jumped 30 homeless
people on his skateboard?Copy !req
422. You heard about that?Copy !req
423. Heard about it?Copy !req
424. They said you could have easily clearedCopy !req
425. 50 homeless with that jump.Copy !req
426. 30 was hard enough.Copy !req
427. Oh, God! It wasn't 30!Copy !req
428. It was one!Copy !req
429. He jumped over one homeless personCopy !req
430. with his stupid skateboard,Copy !req
431. and he barely made it over that guy!Copy !req
432. Kyle, knock it off!Copy !req
433. We're here to find out how
to get rid of the homeless,Copy !req
434. not how many homeless Cartman can jump!Copy !req
435. Please... we just want you to tell usCopy !req
436. how you got rid of
the homeless in your town.Copy !req
437. Well, that was easy.Copy !req
438. The homeless first started arrivingCopy !req
439. in Evergreen about three months ago.Copy !req
440. At first there were only a few of them.Copy !req
441. Asking for change,
sleeping in the parks.Copy !req
442. But then more showed up.Copy !req
443. And we realized there was somethingCopy !req
444. different about them.Copy !req
445. They fed off of our change to the pointCopy !req
446. that they could actually
start renting apartments.Copy !req
447. We knew it wouldn't be longCopy !req
448. before the homeless actually
started buying homes.Copy !req
449. And then we'd have no idea
who was homeless and who wasn't.Copy !req
450. The people living in the house
right next door to youCopy !req
451. could be homeless
and you wouldn't even know.Copy !req
452. Nobody could trust anybody.Copy !req
453. Fights broke out... war.Copy !req
454. That's when I started
suspecting that my own wife,Copy !req
455. who I had been living with for 20 years,Copy !req
456. was actually homeless.Copy !req
457. So I had to burn her...
In her bed while she slept.Copy !req
458. After she died, I vowed I wouldn't letCopy !req
459. the homeless destroy our town.Copy !req
460. So we came up with a plan
to get rid of themCopy !req
461. once and for all.Copy !req
462. You son of a bitch.Copy !req
463. You didn't solve your homeless problem.Copy !req
464. You just sent all your
homeless to South Park.Copy !req
465. That's right, yes.Copy !req
466. - What?
- I knew it!Copy !req
467. It wasn't because I gave that guy $20.Copy !req
468. The homeless all came from here.Copy !req
469. And it was Texas who sent them to us.Copy !req
470. People in San Antonio
got rid of their homelessCopy !req
471. by telling them what a great
place Evergreen was.Copy !req
472. But then you didn't solve the problem.Copy !req
473. You just moved it!Copy !req
474. Right, but we survived.Copy !req
475. Dennis!Copy !req
476. Christine?Copy !req
477. You son of a bitch!Copy !req
478. You tried to burn me.Copy !req
479. I had to, Christine, you were homeless!Copy !req
480. No, I wasn't homeless,
you stupid asshole!Copy !req
481. Christine, I can't understand you.Copy !req
482. Yeah!Copy !req
483. Because you burnt my lips off!Copy !req
484. I nurnt your rip sauce?Copy !req
485. No!Copy !req
486. You burnt my lips off!Copy !req
487. I have no idea what you're saying.Copy !req
488. Ow!Copy !req
489. Ugh!Copy !req
490. Dude, our parents are just
as stupid as these people.Copy !req
491. Our town is gonna end up just like this!Copy !req
492. No it isn't.Copy !req
493. Come on, I have an idea.Copy !req
494. No, no, no, we're not having CartmanCopy !req
495. jump any more homeless people, Kyle.Copy !req
496. That isn't my idea!Copy !req
497. I saw a bus in a garage
a couple blocks back.Copy !req
498. We need to modify it.Copy !req
499. What are we gonna do?Copy !req
500. We're gonna save our parentsCopy !req
501. before they all kill each other.Copy !req
502. A bus!Copy !req
503. A bus is coming!Copy !req
504. It's the boys!Copy !req
505. They've modified a bus
to get us out of here!Copy !req
506. I knew they'd come back for us!Copy !req
507. All right! Yeah!Copy !req
508. Look, Glen, we're saved!Copy !req
509. All right, I'm turning around.Copy !req
510. Why are they turning?Copy !req
511. What are they doing?Copy !req
512. Don't leave us!Copy !req
513. All right, hit it.Copy !req
514. Let's hope to Christ this works.Copy !req
515. Change?Copy !req
516. They're listening! Let's go!Copy !req
517. They're... they're leading them away!Copy !req
518. We're gonna be all right!Copy !req
519. Oh, Glen, we made it!Copy !req
520. Change?Copy !req
521. Ugh!Copy !req
522. Yes!Copy !req
523. That's three homeless!Copy !req
524. Suck on that!Copy !req
525. Fuck, yeah!Copy !req
526. Honestly, I don't know
what you see in this, Kyle.Copy !req