1. I'm going out to South Park,
gonna have myself a time,
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2. Friendly faces everywhere,
humble folks without temptation,
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3. I'm going down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind
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4. Ample parking day or night,
people spouting howdy neighbor,
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5. I'm heading out to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind,
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6. I like girls with big fat titties,
I like girls with big fat titties,
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7. So come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine,
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8. This picture
I like to call "The Pierre."
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9. I invited Butters
to stay the night.
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10. And while he was sleeping, I made
a mustache on his face with cat poo.
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11. And this time, when Butters stayed
the night, I put a tampon in his mouth.
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12. I call this picture
"The Sleeping Menstrual."
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13. This one, I call
"Hot Fudge Mondae."
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14. I really like how the light plays with
the background on this one.
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15. Is this all you brought us
over here to see?
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16. Oh no,
there's much more.
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17. Let's see. Oh yes, look at this one.
I call it "New Moon Rising."
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18. I did a whole study
using my ass.
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19. Here it is using
some high-contrast stuff.
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20. Trying out some different
light filters here.
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21. But this is nothing compared
to what I have planned.
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22. Because tonight is going
to be my coup de grâce.
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23. - Butters is staying over tonight?
- Yes.
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24. And tonight, while Butters is asleep,
I am going to—
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25. Hey, fellas!
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26. Oh, oh, hey, Butters!
I wasn't expecting you so soon.
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27. Yeah. I finished my chores
so I came over a little early.
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28. Hey! Are you guys
all sleeping over too?
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29. No, no, these guys
were just leaving.
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30. Weren't you guys?
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31. Come on, let's go.
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32. Wait, wait,
I can't let this happen.
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33. - Butters.
- Yeah, Kyle?
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34. Don't you think
it's a little strange
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35. that Cartman keeps
asking you to stay over?
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36. Kyle!
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37. - What do you mean?
- I mean, that if—
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38. What he means
is that he's jealous
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39. that you've taken his place
as my new best friend!
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40. But grow up, Kyle!
Change is a part of life.
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41. Yeah, grow up, Kyle.
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42. So what do you
wanna do first, Eric?
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43. You wanna play a game or
just chitchat for a while?
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44. Well actually, Butters, I think
we'd better hit the hay pretty soon.
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45. - But, it's only 6:30.
- Yeah, and I'm exhausted.
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46. If you are not sleepy yet,
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47. I have some more of that nighttime
cold medicine you can drink.
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48. You guys! I got it!
It seriously!
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49. It's the greatest picture ever!
Oh my God!
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50. What'd you do
to Butters this time?
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51. It was genius!
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52. I waited till
he was totally asleep, right?
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53. And then I got my camera
and I pulled down his pants
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54. and then I took a picture
of his wiener in my mouth!
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55. Dude!
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56. I know, I know,
check it out, look.
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57. I got his whole wiener
in my mouth, see?
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58. Oh man, I got him good!
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59. Dude, how is putting Butters' wiener
in your mouth getting him?
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60. Because that makes
Butters gay now!
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61. No, dude,
that makes you gay!
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62. Eh... what?
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63. You put a guy's wiener in your mouth,
that makes you gay, stupid!
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64. - Nuh-uh.
- Yeah-huh!
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65. Kenny, that doesn't
make me gay, huh?
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66. That makes you
very fucking gay.
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67. But I'm not—
I'm not gay, you guys!
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68. You are now.
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69. - No, no, it was a stupid mistake!
- Doesn't matter. You're gay now.
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70. No, it was
just for a second!
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71. What, what can I do?
How how can I reverse this?
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72. - You can't!
- No, wait.
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73. I know how you
can reverse it, Cartman.
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74. How?
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75. The only way
you can cancel it out
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76. is to get Butters to put
your wiener in his mouth.
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77. Really?
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78. Yeah. Then it cancels
out the gay polarity.
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79. Shit,
I gotta find Butters!
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80. Idiot.
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81. - Butters.
- Hey, Eric.
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82. Butters, guess what?
I have a surprise for you.
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83. - A surprise? What is it?
- It's so fucking awesome.
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84. You're gonna be so stoked.
It's the best surprise ever!
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85. Oh, boy!
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86. - You ready?
- Yeah!
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87. Okay! Just open your mouth
and close your eyes
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88. and get on your knees!
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89. Oh, okay!
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90. - Hang on a second here.
- How come uh, I can't see?
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91. Cause then it wouldn't
be a surprise, would it?
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92. Oh, yeah.
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93. All right, that's good.
Okay, open your mouth, Butters?
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94. - That's good, just like that.
- Hey!
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95. Hey, wait a minute.
This ain't a trick, is it?
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96. Why, you're not gonna,
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97. stick something yicky
in my mouth, are ya?
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98. I swear on
my mother's life, Butters.
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99. I am not going to stick anything
yicky in your mouth.
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100. Okay!
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101. All right, you ready? All right just-
Okay, open. Okay, okay, here it comes.
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102. Just sit very still, okay?
Here we go.
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103. - Butters!
- Hey Dad!
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104. - Butters! What are you doing?
- I'm getting a surprise!
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105. Oh my God!
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106. My, my only son,
reduced to this!
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107. Hey. Where'd Eric go?
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108. Butters, how long have you been
doing stuff like this?
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109. - Like what?
- Don't lie to me, Butters!
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110. I know your secret now!
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111. No, wait, wait. It's okay.
It's okay, Butters.
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112. This isn't a serious problem.
You're just bi-curious.
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113. - What's bi-curious?
- You are.
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114. Just harmless curiosity
and it doesn't mean anything.
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115. We just need to get you
some help, Butters.
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116. What's going on,
you two?
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117. Nothing, Mom, I'm just
a little bi-curious.
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118. Father Maxi, I just don't know
where else to turn.
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119. You see, I've just learned
that my son is bi-curious.
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120. Is that true, son?
Are you feeling confused?
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121. Yeah, I'm pretty
confused alright.
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122. You see?
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123. Young man, these confused feelings
that you're having
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124. are simply the Devil's way of trying
to get ahold of you.
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125. - Really?
- What can I do, Father?
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126. There is a special camp
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127. where young men who are
confused, like your son
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128. can go and be cleansed
by the power of God.
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129. Many bi-curious boys come out of
the camp completely cured.
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130. A secluded camp where lots of
bicurious boys are all put together?
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131. - That sounds like a good idea.
- Whoa, boy! Camp!
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132. Very funny! I suppose
you think you really got me!
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133. What are you
talking about, fatass?
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134. I checked on
the internet, Kyle.
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135. And getting Butters to put
my wiener in his mouth
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136. wouldn't make me
not gay like you said!
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137. - You figured that out, huh?
- That's right.
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138. And I also learned
from the Internet
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139. that just because I put
Butters' wiener in my mouth
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140. doesn't mean I'm gay!
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141. All I have to do is
throw away the picture,
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142. forget it ever happened
and nobody will ever know.
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143. - Except for us.
- Right, except for you.
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144. And all the people we tell.
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145. - Why would you tell anybody?
- Because it's really, really funny.
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146. It's not that funny.
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147. There's lots, there's lots of things
that are way funnier.
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148. - Like what?
- Like...
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149. A tampon in the school cafeteria,
in somebody's lunch.
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150. Like...
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151. A dog crap,
on a guy's face!
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152. - That isn't funny.
- Yes, it is!
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153. Now you guys, I'm getting pissed off!
You'd better not tell anybody!
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154. Well, maybe we will,
maybe we won't.
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155. Fine! Whatever!
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156. You guys don't have any proof
I put Butters' wiener in my mouth!
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157. It will be your word
against mine!
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158. And we all know
that everyone trusts me
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159. way more
than you guys!
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160. You guys, please
don't tell anybody.
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161. Okay.
We won't tell anybody
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162. as long as you are super-nice to us,
every day, from now on.
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163. Oh right, like that's possible!
Alright, fine!
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164. You know what
I'm gonna do, Kyle?
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165. I'm gonna go home and
photoshop the picture
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166. so that it is your face
with Butters' wiener
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167. in his mouth here!
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168. And if any of you say
anything to anybody,
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169. I'll simply show them
the picture of Kyle.
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170. Everyone, say hello to our
new camper, Butters.
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171. - Hi, Butters. Hello.
- Hi. Hello, Butters.
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172. Thank you so much
for taking him in.
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173. Don't worry.
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174. Your son
just needs to learn
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175. that he can be straight
if he chooses to be.
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176. Do you know why you're here
at camp, Butters?
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177. Because I'm bi-curious?
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178. That's right.
Like all the campers here,
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179. you're confused and you don't
think there's a way out.
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180. But even though some people
would have you believe
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181. you can't control
how you feel,
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182. the truth is that with the power
of Jesus Christ, you can be normal.
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183. Now, just to make sure
you don't slip up while in camp
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184. we assign every camper
an accountabilibuddy.
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185. Let's meet Ryan,
your accountabilibuddy.
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186. Ryan thought
he could never change.
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187. But now he's learning that with
the power of Christ and prayer,
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188. he can have
a whole new life.
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189. Over this way, we have the cafeteria.
All the meals are served there.
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190. Bradley! How about you be
Butters' accountabilibuddy?
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191. Humble yourselves therefore
under God's mighty hand
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192. that he may lift you up.
Peter 5:6
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193. Butters here
is new to the camp.
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194. He's chosen to rid
himself of his affliction
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195. and forge a personal relationship
with Jesus Christ.
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196. I'm bi-curious.
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197. Do not lie with a man
as one lies with a woman,
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198. that is detestible.
Leviticus 18:22.
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199. That's right, Bradley. I think we're
well on our way to being healed.
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200. - We've got another one, room 22.
- Oh, darn it!
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201. - Aw man, I've got H O R S now.
- Okay, my turn.
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202. Where is it,
you filthy Jew?
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203. - Where's what?
- You know goddamn well what!
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204. Let go of me.
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205. What the hell are
you doing, Cartman?
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206. I went home
to alter the picture of me
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207. with Butters' penis in my mouth
to look like Kyle
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208. but it was gone!
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209. What did you do
with my picture?
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210. Knock it off! I don't
have your stupid picture!
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211. - Give it back, Kyle!
- I don't have it!
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212. I swear to God, Kyle,
if you don't give it back right now
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213. I'm gonna break your fucking
Jew legs right here!
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214. - Shut up!
- You shut up!
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215. You're lying and you two
are covering up for him!
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216. You know what?
You're just like Jews yourselves!
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217. Stan, you're a Jew and Kenny,
you're a Jew! You're all Jews!
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218. The Lord is love this for
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219. With Jesus, I can just say no,
and not be confused anymore.
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220. We will now hear a sermon
from Pastor Phillips.
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221. For those of you
who are new to camp,
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222. Pastor Phillips is
somebody who has broken free
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223. of the bonds
that afflict you.
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224. He's bi-curious too?
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225. Not anymore.
Because Pastor Phillips prayed
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226. and by the hand of Jesus Christ,
he's now completely cured!
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227. Let's hear it
for Pastor Phillips, kids!
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228. Hello, campers!
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229. Yes, believe it or not, I myself
used to have unclean urges
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230. and like a lot of you,
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231. I thought I was just made that way,
that I didn't have a choice.
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232. But then I realized that God
didn't want me to be that way!
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233. God wanted me
to be a man!
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234. So I buckled up
in my little suit
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235. and I prayed to be normal
and guess what?
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236. It worked!
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237. That's right, kids. You see,
right now, you're like a paper clip.
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238. And just
like a paper clip,
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239. God needs to bend you
and shape you
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240. and make you straight.
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241. So you say
you were robbed.
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242. Yes. A photograph.
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243. And I know who took it!
His name is Kyle Broflovski!
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244. If it's a photo,
what's the big deal?
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245. Why don't you just
print out another one?
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246. It's a big deal, okay? That picture is
my property and I want it back!
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247. Okay,
what is the picture of?
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248. Why does that matter?
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249. Well how are we gonna
find your picture
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250. unless we know
what it is?
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251. - All right. It's a picture of me.
- Yes?
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252. It's a picture of me...
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253. and what appears
to be a penis...
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254. in my mouth.
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255. - You were sucking somebody's penis.
- No, no, I was not!
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256. I was asleep and this person
just puts a penis
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257. in my mouth
without me knowing!
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258. And—and took the picture!
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259. - I see.
- Yes.
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260. Now it may appear
in the picture
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261. that I'm actually looking at
the camera lens and smiling
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262. with the penis in my mouth
and giving a thumbs up.
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263. But I assure you,
I was fast asleep!
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264. Well, we'd have
to get a warrant first,
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265. approved by a grand jury.
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266. I don't have time for that!
We have school tomorrow!
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267. And I know that Kyle
is gonna show the picture
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268. to everybody
during Show and Tell!
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269. Well then,
you're screwed.
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270. You both do understand
that we're trying
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271. to save your souls from
eternal life in hell?
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272. Well sure, I guess.
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273. Only through Christ
can we cleanse our souls.
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274. And you do know the rule
which states
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275. that no impure
or immoral images
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276. are allowed to be seen
by the eye?
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277. Well yeah, sure.
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278. So let's purify ourselves
from everything
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279. that makes the body
or soul unclean.
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280. Corinthians, chapter 7.
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281. Then do you mind telling us
why we found this,
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282. 1979 Sears mens underwear
catalog in your room?
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283. That's mine.
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284. You know
this is strictly forbidden!
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285. Ah, I don't understand.
What's wrong with underwear?
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286. What's wrong?
This is what makes you confused!
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287. Don't you get it?
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288. This is confusing you
right now, isn't it?
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289. Yes, it's all
very confusing!
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290. This is just as much
your fault, Butters!
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291. Bradley is
your accountabilibuddy!
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292. That makes you
accountabilibuddyable.
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293. Both of you boys' behavior
has jeopardizing
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294. all of the work
we're doing here
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295. to save these kids!
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296. Right. For having contraband in
your room, you will both do penance
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297. by writing scripture
for the next four days!
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298. That son of a bitch. He's gonna
show everyone that picture.
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299. Only twelve hours
from now.
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300. That's it.
I don't have a choice.
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301. I'm gonna have to bring
Mom in on this one!
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302. I'm going to have
to tell her the truth.
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303. Eric? What's the,
what's the matter?
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304. I don't wanna go
to school tomorrow.
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305. Sweetie, shh! Tell Mommy
what happened.
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306. Kyle has
a picture of me
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307. and he's gonna show everyone
during Show and Tell.
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308. And everyone's gonna
laugh at me.
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309. Oh, now
why would he do that?
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310. Because he's jealous of how
much smarter I am than him.
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311. So, he's gonna show
everyone the picture.
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312. What is
the picture of, Eric?
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313. Last time, when Butters spent the night,
I was being really nice to him
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314. and I was gonna take a picture
of him for his mom to have.
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315. Oh, that's nice.
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316. But then, right
when I took the picture,
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317. Butters got really hot
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318. so he pulled his pajama bottoms down
and then I tripped and fell down
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319. and my mouth landed right on his penis
and then I thought of something funny
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320. so I smiled up at, the camera
and gave like a, thumbs up
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321. and then Kyle took
the picture from me
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322. and he's gonna show it
to everybody
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323. and make them think
I'm gay.
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324. Oh, there there, sweetie.
It'll be okay.
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325. These things happen.
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326. But, Mom, I've been trying
to get the picture back,
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327. but he won't give it to me.
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328. It's okay, Eric.
I'll have a talk with Kyle's mother.
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329. You will?
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330. But that he loved us
and sent his only son
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331. to be the satisfaction
of our sins.
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332. Neato!
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333. Butters, I'm sorry for getting
you into trouble.
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334. Aw, that's okay, Bradley.
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335. I really want to get better.
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336. I try to do everything
the counselors say,
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337. but somehow,
I still feel confused.
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338. Yeah, well hopefully, when we finish
writing all these verses
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339. we won't be bi-curious no more
and then we can go home!
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340. You're really terrific, Butters.
I mean, I think you're great.
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341. Oh God! Bad thought!
Bad thought!
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342. - What's the matter?
- I think, I think I like you.
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343. - Well I like you too, Bradley.
- You do?
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344. - Well, yeah!
- You like like me?
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345. Sure, I like like you
a lot a lot.
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346. Oh God, we're both unfixable!
Don't you see we're lost causes?
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347. We're just evil and
nothing can change us!
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348. There's no other way out, Butters!
We have to kill ourselves!
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349. No! Bradley! You can't leave,
you're my accountabilibuddy!
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350. Hello?
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351. Hello, Sheila?
It's Liane, Eric's mother.
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352. Oh, hello, Mrs. Cartman.
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353. Sheila, I'm sorry
to trouble you with this
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354. but apparently,
your son has a picture of Eric
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355. with another boy's penis
in his mouth.
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356. Excuse me?
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357. Don't worry, sweetie,
everything is fine.
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358. It is? Really?
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359. Oh, Mommy, thank you!
Thank you!
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360. You have nothing to worry about
in school tomorrow.
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361. Mrs. Broflovski assured me that
Kyle doesn't have the picture.
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362. What?
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363. She talked with her son
and says he doesn't have it.
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364. - Mom, she's lying!
- She said she was sure, Eric.
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365. Mom, you don't know
anything about Jews!
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366. They lie all the time!
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367. Well, Eric, there's nothing more
I can do about it.
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368. Then that's it.
Kyle wins.
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369. But he won't win completely!
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370. I'm going to print out
another copy of that picture
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371. and show it
to the class myself!
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372. I can at least rob Kyle
of his final laugh.
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373. Do you mind telling me how you managed
to lose your accountabilibuddy?
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374. I went looking for him,
but he runs real fast.
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375. You don't seem to take
this camp seriously, Butters.
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376. - I've called your father in for a talk.
- Oh no, my dad?
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377. Do you understand
the concept of hell?
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378. Do you realize that
if we don't fix you,
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379. you will burn in
a lake of fire for eternity?
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380. Well yeah, but I just don't quite
understand what you're fixing.
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381. - We're fixing your confusion!
- There you are, Butters!
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382. - Oh hey, Dad.
- What's he done now?
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383. Mr. Stotch, your son is insubordinate,
unwilling to change and worse yet,
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384. he's lost
his accountabilibuddy!
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385. They found him! They found Bradley!
You'd better come quick!
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386. Oh Lord in Heaven!
Don't jump, Bradley!
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387. Stay back!
I'm an abomination of God!
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388. No, no.
We're fixing you!
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389. Guess you think today is
your big day, huh Kyle?
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390. To embarrass me
in front of everyone?
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391. Well guess what?
I'm not giving you the satisfaction!
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392. Okay students,
let's all take our seats.
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393. Since it is Monday, we'll start
as always with Show And Tell.
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394. Who'd like to go first?
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395. Ow! Quit it, dude!
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396. Okay Eric, Jesus, calm down.
You can go first.
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397. For Show And Tell today, I would like
to share with you some very special,
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398. very artsy photographs
I've taken in pursuit
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399. of being
a respected photographer.
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400. This first picture I like to call
"Moods of Winter."
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401. A simple aspen grove shot
in high-contrast black and white
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402. shows the brittleness of the trunks
and reminds one of death.
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403. This picture I took just
as the sun was rising
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404. and this lonely man
was walking to work.
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405. A statement about all of
our loneliness, perhaps?
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406. He isn't going
to actually show everyone.
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407. And now this next picture...
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408. Don't jump, Bradley! You will
only make God angrier with you!
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409. It's too late.
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410. Bradley, please.
You're my accountabilibuddy.
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411. How will this make me look?
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412. You get back. You're only
gonna make things worse.
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413. I'm not normal.
I'll never be normal!
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414. You're perfectly normal,
Bradley.
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415. Get back! You're just
as confused as he is!
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416. All right.
All right that does it!
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417. I am sick and tired of everyone
telling me I'm confused!
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418. I wasn't confused until other people
started telling me I was!
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419. You know what I think? I think maybe
you are the ones who are confused!
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420. Yeah.
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421. I'm not gonna be confused anymore
just because you say I should be!
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422. My name is Butters, I'm eight years old,
I'm blood type O and I'm bi-curious!
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423. And even that's okay!
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424. Because if I'm bi-curious
and I'm somehow made from God,
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425. then I think your God must be
a little bi-curious himself!
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426. I think. I think
I'd like to come down now.
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427. He's coming down!
We did it!
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428. Through the power of Christ
we have saved this child!
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429. Well Butters, I guess
we might as well go home.
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430. - Looks like you're never gonna change.
- No. I like being bi-curious.
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431. Well you know something?
So do I.
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432. Wait.
Now I am confused.
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433. And this photograph, I took of a sunset
near the power plant.
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434. Note how
the contrasting images
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435. make a statement about
our impact on the Earth.
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436. Which brings us
to my last picture.
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437. This picture you may find
somewhat controversial.
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438. Dude.
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439. Yes. This is shot at a 5.6 aperture
using a low-light filter.
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440. You can see the grain from
the high-speed film...
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441. There's sort of a penis in
my mouth right here...
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442. and the low depth of field keeps
the background soft.
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443. Eric, what the hell is this?
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444. What this is, is a statement
against the war in Iraq.
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445. It's wrong that we still have
our troops there. It's wrong!
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446. - And what I think that—
- Eric Cartman?
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447. We got an emergency message
from your mother?
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448. Do not show picture.
Kyle didn't have it after all.
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449. Found it under your desk.
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450. She said you'd know
what that means, m'kay?
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451. Lame.
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