1. I'm going out to South Park
gonna have myself a timeCopy !req
2. Friendly faces everywhere
humble folks without temptationCopy !req
3. I'm goin out to south park
gonna leave my woes behindCopy !req
4. Ample parking day or night
people spouting howdy neighborCopy !req
5. I'm heading out to south park
to see if I cant unwindCopy !req
6. I like girls with big fat titties
really big fat tittiesCopy !req
7. So come on out to south park
and meet some friends of mineCopy !req
8. Episode 11x02
"Cartman Sucks"Copy !req
9. This picture I like to call "The Pierre."Copy !req
10. I invited Butters to stay the night.Copy !req
11. And while he was sleeping I made
a mustache on his face with cat poo.Copy !req
12. And this time, when Butters stayed
the night, I put a tampon in his mouth.Copy !req
13. I call this picture "The Sleeping Menstrual."Copy !req
14. This one, I call "Hot Fudge Mondae."Copy !req
15. I really like how the light plays with
the background on this one.Copy !req
16. Is this all you brought us here to see?
- Oh no, there's much more.Copy !req
17. Let's see. Oh yes, look at this one.
I call it "New Moon Rising."Copy !req
18. I did a whole study using my ass.Copy !req
19. Here it is using some high-contrast stuff.Copy !req
20. Trying out some different light filters here.Copy !req
21. But this is nothing compared
to what I have planned.Copy !req
22. Because tonight is going
to be my coup de grace.Copy !req
23. Butters is staying over tonight?
- Yes.Copy !req
24. And tonight, while Butters is asleep,
I am going to-Copy !req
25. Hey, fellas!Copy !req
26. Oh, oh hey, Butters!
I wasn't expecting you so soon.Copy !req
27. Yeah. I finished my chores
so I came over a little early.Copy !req
28. Hey! Are you guys all sleeping over too?
- No, no, these guys were just leaving.Copy !req
29. Weren't you guys?Copy !req
30. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
31. Wait, wait, I can't let this happen.Copy !req
32. Butters.
- Yeah, Kyle?Copy !req
33. Don't you think it's a little strange that
Cartman keeps asking you to stay over?Copy !req
34. Kyle!Copy !req
35. What do you mean?
- I mean, that if-Copy !req
36. What he means is that he's jealous that
you've taken his place as my new best friend!Copy !req
37. But grow up, Kyle!
Change is a part of life.Copy !req
38. Yeah, grow up, Kyle.Copy !req
39. So what do you wanna do first, Eric? You wanna
play a game or just chitchat for a while?Copy !req
40. Well actually, Butters, I think we'd
better hit the hay pretty soon.Copy !req
41. But, it's only 6:30.
- Yeah, and I'm exhausted.Copy !req
42. If you are not sleepy yet, I have some more
of that nighttime cold medicine you can drink.Copy !req
43. You guys! I got it!
It seriously!Copy !req
44. It's the greatest picture ever!
Oh my God!Copy !req
45. What'cha do to Butters this time?
- It was genius!Copy !req
46. I waited till he was totally asleep, right?Copy !req
47. And then I got my camera
and I pulled down his pantsCopy !req
48. and then I took a picture
of his wiener in my mouth!Copy !req
49. Dude!
- I know, I know, check it out, look.Copy !req
50. I got his whole wiener in my mouth, see?
Oh man, I got him good!Copy !req
51. Dude, how is putting Butters wiener
in your mouth getting him?Copy !req
52. Because that makes Butters gay now!
- No dude, that makes you gay!Copy !req
53. Eh... what?Copy !req
54. You put a guy's wiener in your mouth,
that makes you gay, stupid!Copy !req
55. Nuh uh.
- Yeah huh!Copy !req
56. Kenny, that doesn't make me gay, huh?
- That makes you very fucking gay.Copy !req
57. But I'm not- I'm not gay, you guys!
- You are now.Copy !req
58. No, no, it was a stupid mistake!
- Doesn't matter. You're gay now.Copy !req
59. No, it was just for a second!Copy !req
60. What, what can I do?
How how can I reverse this?Copy !req
61. You can't!
- No, wait.Copy !req
62. I know how you can reverse it, Cartman.
- How?Copy !req
63. The only way you can cancel it out is to get
Butters to put your wiener in his mouth.Copy !req
64. Really?
- Yeah. Then it cancels out the gay polarity.Copy !req
65. Shit, I gotta find Butters!Copy !req
66. Idiot.Copy !req
67. Butters.
- Hey, Eric.Copy !req
68. Butters, guess what?
I have a surprise for you.Copy !req
69. A surprise? What is it?
- It's so fucking awesome.Copy !req
70. You're gonna be soo stoked.
It's the best surprise ever!Copy !req
71. Oh boy!Copy !req
72. You ready?
- Yeah!Copy !req
73. Okay! Just open your mouth and close
your eyes and and get on your knees!Copy !req
74. Oh, okay!Copy !req
75. Hang on a second here.
- How come uh, I can't see?Copy !req
76. Cause then it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
77. All right, that's good.
Okay, open your mouth, Butters?Copy !req
78. That's good, just like that.
- Hey!Copy !req
79. Hey wait a minute. This ain't a trick, is it?Copy !req
80. Why you're not gonna, stick something
icky in my mouth, are ya?Copy !req
81. I swear on my mother's life, Butters.Copy !req
82. I am not going to stick anything
icky in your mouth.Copy !req
83. Okay!Copy !req
84. All right, you ready? All right just-
Okay, open. Okay, okay, here it comes.Copy !req
85. Just sit very still, okay?
Here we go.Copy !req
86. Butters!
- Hey Dad!Copy !req
87. Butters! What are you doing?
- I'm getting a surprise!Copy !req
88. Oh my God! My, my only son, reduced to this!Copy !req
89. Hey. Where'd Eric go?Copy !req
90. Butters, how long have you been
doing stuff like this?Copy !req
91. Like what?
- Don't lie to me, Butters!Copy !req
92. I know your secret now!Copy !req
93. No wait, wait. It's okay.
It's okay, Butters.Copy !req
94. This isn't a serious problem.
You're just bi-curious.Copy !req
95. What's bi-curious?
- You are.Copy !req
96. Just harmless curiosity
and it doesn't mean anything.Copy !req
97. We just need to get you some help, Butters.Copy !req
98. What's going on, you two?
- Nothing mom, I'm just a little bi-curious.Copy !req
99. Father Maxi, I just don't
know where else to turn.Copy !req
100. You see, I've just learned
that my son is bi-curious.Copy !req
101. Is that true, son?
Are you feeling confused?Copy !req
102. Yeah, I'm pretty confused alright.
- You see?Copy !req
103. Young man, these confused feelings
that you're havingCopy !req
104. are simply the devil's way of trying
to get a hold of you.Copy !req
105. Really?
- What can I do, Father?Copy !req
106. There is a special camp where young men
who are confused, like your sonCopy !req
107. can go and be cleansed by the power of God.Copy !req
108. Many bi-curious boys come out
the camp completely cured.Copy !req
109. A secluded camp where lots of bicurious
boys are all put together?Copy !req
110. That sounds like a good idea.
- Whoa boy! Camp!Copy !req
111. Very funny! I suppose
you really think you got me!Copy !req
112. What are you talking about, fatass?
- I checked on the internet, Kyle.Copy !req
113. And getting Butters to put my wiener in his
mouth wouldn't make me not gay like you said!Copy !req
114. You figured that out, huh?
- That's right.Copy !req
115. And I also learned from the Internet that just
because I put Butters wiener in my mouthCopy !req
116. doesn't mean I'm gay!Copy !req
117. All I have to do is throw away the pictureCopy !req
118. forget it ever happened
and nobody will every know.Copy !req
119. Except for us.
- Right, except for you.Copy !req
120. And all the people we tell.Copy !req
121. Why would you tell anybody?
- Because it's really, really funny.Copy !req
122. It's not that funny. There's lots, there's
lots of things that are way funnier.Copy !req
123. Like what?
- Like...Copy !req
124. a tampon in the school cafeteria,
in somebody's lunch.Copy !req
125. Like...Copy !req
126. a dog crap, on a guy's face!Copy !req
127. That isn't funny.
- Yes, it is!Copy !req
128. Now you guys, I'm getting pissed off!
You'd better not tell anybody!Copy !req
129. Well, maybe we will, maybe we won't.Copy !req
130. Fine! Whatever! You guys don't have
any proof I put Butters wiener in my mouth!Copy !req
131. It will be your word against mine!Copy !req
132. And we all know that everyone trusts me
way more than you guys!Copy !req
133. You guys, please don't tell anybody.Copy !req
134. Okay. We won't tell anybody as long as you
are supernice to us, every day, from now on.Copy !req
135. Oh right, like that's possible!
Alright, fine!Copy !req
136. You know what I'm gonna do, Kyle?
I'm gonna go home and photoshop the pictureCopy !req
137. so that it is your face with Butters wiener
in his mouth here!Copy !req
138. And if any of you say anything to anybody,
I'll simply show them the picture of Kyle.Copy !req
139. Camp New Grace
"Pray The Gay Away."Copy !req
140. Everyone, say hello to our
new camper, Butters.Copy !req
141. Hi Butters. Hello.
- Hi. Hello Butters.Copy !req
142. Thank you so much for taking him in.
- Don't worry.Copy !req
143. Your son just needs to learn
that he can be straight if he chooses to be.Copy !req
144. Do you know why you're here at camp, Butters?
- Because I'm bi-curious?Copy !req
145. That's right. Like all the campers here, you're
confused and you don't think there's a way out.Copy !req
146. But even though some people would have
you believe you can't control how you feelCopy !req
147. the truth is that with the power
of Jesus Christ you can be normal.Copy !req
148. Now, just to make sure you
don't slip up while in campCopy !req
149. we assign every camper an accountabilibuddy.Copy !req
150. Let's meet Ryan, your accountabilibuddy.Copy !req
151. Ryan thought he could never change.Copy !req
152. But now he's learning that with
the power of Christ and prayerCopy !req
153. he can have a whole new life.Copy !req
154. Over this way we have the cafeteria.
All the meals are served there.Copy !req
155. Bradley! How about you
be Butters' accountabilibuddy?Copy !req
156. Humble yourselves therefore under God's mighty
hand, that he may lift you up. Peter 5:6Copy !req
157. Butters here is new to the camp.
He's chosen to rid himself of his afflictionCopy !req
158. and forge a personal relationship
with Jesus Christ.Copy !req
159. I'm bi-curious.Copy !req
160. Do not lie with a man as one lies with
a woman, that is detestible. Leviticus 18:22.Copy !req
161. That's right, Bradley. I think we're
well on our way to being healed.Copy !req
162. We've got another one, room 22.
- Oh, darnit!Copy !req
163. Aw man, I've got H O R S now.
- Okay, my turn.Copy !req
164. Where is it, you filthy jew?Copy !req
165. Where's what?
- You know goddamn well what!Copy !req
166. Let go of me.
- What the hell are you doing, Cartman?Copy !req
167. I went home to alter the picture of me with
Butters penis in my mouth to look like KyleCopy !req
168. but it was gone!Copy !req
169. What did you do with my picture?
- Knock it off! I don't have your stupid picture!Copy !req
170. Give it back, Kyle!
- I don't have it!Copy !req
171. I swear to God, Kyle,
if you don't give it back right nowCopy !req
172. I'm gonna break your fucking
Jew legs right here!Copy !req
173. Shut up!
- You shut up!Copy !req
174. You're lying and you two
are covering up for him!Copy !req
175. You know what?
You're just like Jews yourselves!Copy !req
176. Stan, you're a Jew and Kenny,
you're a Jew! You're all Jews!Copy !req
177. The Lord is love this forCopy !req
178. With Jesus I can just say no
and not be confused anymore.Copy !req
179. We will now hear a sermon from Pastor Phillips.Copy !req
180. For those of you who are new to campCopy !req
181. Pastor Phillips is somebody who has
broken free of the bonds that afflict you.Copy !req
182. He's bi-curious too?Copy !req
183. Not anymore.
Because Pastor Phillips prayedCopy !req
184. and by the hand of Jesus Christ
he's now completely cured!Copy !req
185. Let's hear it for Pastor Phillips, kids!Copy !req
186. Hello, campers!Copy !req
187. Yes, believe it or not, I myself
used to have unclean urgesCopy !req
188. and like a lot of you I thought I was just
made that way, that I didn't have a choice.Copy !req
189. But then I realized that God
didn't want me to be that way!Copy !req
190. God wanted me to be a man!Copy !req
191. So I buckled up in my little suit
and I prayed to be normal and guess what?Copy !req
192. It worked!Copy !req
193. That's right, kids. You see,
right now you're like a paper clip.Copy !req
194. And just like a paper clip,
God needs to bend you and shape youCopy !req
195. and make you straight.Copy !req
196. Park County
Police StationCopy !req
197. So you say you were robbed.
- Yes. A photograph.Copy !req
198. And I know who took it!
His name is Kyle Broflovski!Copy !req
199. If it's a photo, what's the big deal?
Why don't you just print out another one?Copy !req
200. It's a big deal, okay? That picture is
my property and I want it back!Copy !req
201. Okay, what is the picture of?Copy !req
202. Why does that matter?Copy !req
203. Well how are we gonna find your picture
unless we know what it is?Copy !req
204. All right. It's a picture of me.
- Yes?Copy !req
205. It's a picture of me...Copy !req
206. and what appears to be a penis...Copy !req
207. in my mouth.Copy !req
208. You were sucking somebody's penis.
- No, no, I was not!Copy !req
209. I was asleep and this person just puts a penis
in my mouth without me knowing!Copy !req
210. And and took the picture!Copy !req
211. I see.
- Yes.Copy !req
212. Now it may appear in the picture that I'm
actually looking at the camera lens and smilingCopy !req
213. with the penis in my mouth
and giving a thumbs up.Copy !req
214. But I assure you, I was fast asleep!Copy !req
215. Well we'd have to get a warrant first,
approved by a grand juryCopy !req
216. I don't have time for that!
We have school tomorrow!Copy !req
217. And I know that Kyle is gonna show the
picture to everybody during Show and Tell!Copy !req
218. Well then, you're screwed.Copy !req
219. You both do understand that we're trying
to save your souls from eternal life in hell?Copy !req
220. Well sure, I guess.Copy !req
221. Only through Christ can we cleanse our souls.Copy !req
222. And you do know the rule which states
that no impure or immoral imagesCopy !req
223. are allowed to be seen by the eye?Copy !req
224. Well yeah, sure.Copy !req
225. So let's purify ourselves from everything
that makes the body or soul unclean.Copy !req
226. Corinthians, chapter 7.Copy !req
227. Then do you mind telling us why we found this,
1979 Sears mens underwear catalog in your room?Copy !req
228. That's mine.Copy !req
229. You know this is strictly forbidden!Copy !req
230. Ah I don't understand.
What's wrong with underwear?Copy !req
231. What's wrong?
This is what makes you confused!Copy !req
232. Don't you get it?
This is confusing you right now, isn't it?Copy !req
233. Yes, it's all very confusing!Copy !req
234. This is just as much your fault, Butters!
Bradley is your accountabilibuddy!Copy !req
235. That makes you accountabilibuddyable.Copy !req
236. Both of your boys behavior has jeopardizing
all of the work we're doing hereCopy !req
237. to save these kids!Copy !req
238. Right. For having contraband in
your room, you will both do penanceCopy !req
239. by writing scripture for the next four days!Copy !req
240. That son of a bitch. He's gonna
show everyone that picture.Copy !req
241. Only twelve hours from now.Copy !req
242. That's it. I don't have a choice.
I'm gonna have to bring mom in on this one!Copy !req
243. I'm going to have to tell her the truth.Copy !req
244. Eric? What's the, what's the matter?Copy !req
245. I don't wanna go to school tomorrow.Copy !req
246. Sweetie, tell mommy what happened.Copy !req
247. Kyle, has a picture of me and he's gonna
show everyone during Show and Tell.Copy !req
248. And everyone's gonna laugh at me.Copy !req
249. Oh, now why would he do that?Copy !req
250. Because, he's jealous of how
much smarter I am than him.Copy !req
251. So, he's gonna show everyone the picture.Copy !req
252. What is the picture of, Eric?Copy !req
253. Last time, when Butters spent the night,
I was being really nice to himCopy !req
254. and I was gonna take a picture
of him for his mom to have.Copy !req
255. Oh, that's nice.Copy !req
256. But then, right when I took the picture,
Butters got really hotCopy !req
257. so he pulled his pajama bottoms down
and then I tripped and fell downCopy !req
258. and my mouth landed right on his penis
and then I thought of something funnyCopy !req
259. so I smiled up at, the camera
and gave like a, thumbs upCopy !req
260. and then Kyle took the picture from me
and he's gonna show it to everybodyCopy !req
261. and make them think I'm gay.Copy !req
262. Oh, there there, sweetie.
It'll be okay.Copy !req
263. These things happen.Copy !req
264. But, mom, I've been trying to get the picture
back, but he won't give it to me.Copy !req
265. It's okay, Eric.
I'll have a talk with Kyle's mother.Copy !req
266. You will?Copy !req
267. But that he loved us and sent his only son
to be the satisfaction of our sins.Copy !req
268. Neato!Copy !req
269. Butters, I'm sorry for getting you into trouble.
- Aw, that's okay, Bradley.Copy !req
270. I really want to get better.Copy !req
271. I try to do everything the counselors say,
but somehow I still feel confused.Copy !req
272. Yeah, well hopefully, when we finish
writing all these versesCopy !req
273. we won't be bi-curious no more
and then we can go home!Copy !req
274. You're really terrific, Butters.
I mean, I think you're great.Copy !req
275. Oh God! Bad thought! Bad thought!Copy !req
276. What's the matter?
- I think, I think I like you.Copy !req
277. Well I like you too, Bradley.
- You do?Copy !req
278. Well, yeah!
- You like like me?Copy !req
279. Sure, I like like you a lot a lot.Copy !req
280. Oh God, we're both unfixable!
Don't you see we're lost causes?Copy !req
281. We're just evil and nothing can change us!Copy !req
282. There's no other way out, Butters!
We have to kill ourselves!Copy !req
283. No! Bradley! You can't leave,
you're my accountabilibuddy!Copy !req
284. Hello?
- Hello, Sheila? It's Liane, Eric's mother.Copy !req
285. Oh, hello, Mrs. Cartman.Copy !req
286. Sheila, I'm sorry to trouble you with thisCopy !req
287. but apparently your son has a picture of Eric
with another boy's penis in his mouth.Copy !req
288. Excuse me?Copy !req
289. Don't worry, sweetie, everything is fine.Copy !req
290. It is? Really?Copy !req
291. Oh, mommy, thank you! Thank you!Copy !req
292. You have nothing to worry about
in school tomorrow.Copy !req
293. Mrs. Broflovski assured me that Kyle
doesn't have the picture.Copy !req
294. What?Copy !req
295. She talked with her son
and says he doesn't have it.Copy !req
296. Mom, she's lying!
- She said she was sure, Eric.Copy !req
297. Mom, you don't know anything about Jews!
They lie all the time!Copy !req
298. Well, Eric, there's nothing more
I can do about it.Copy !req
299. Then that's it. Kyle wins.Copy !req
300. But he won't win completely!Copy !req
301. I'm going to print out another copy of that
picture and show it to the class myself!Copy !req
302. I can at least rob Kyle of his final laugh.Copy !req
303. Do you mind telling me how you managed
to lose your accountabilibuddy?Copy !req
304. I went looking for him,
but he runs real fast.Copy !req
305. You don't seem to take
this camp seriously, Butters.Copy !req
306. I've called your father in for a talk.
- Oh no, my dad?Copy !req
307. Do you understand the concept of hell?Copy !req
308. Do you realize that if we don't fix you,
you will burn in a lake of fire for eternity?Copy !req
309. Well yeah, but I just don't quite
understand what you're fixing.Copy !req
310. We're fixing your confusion!
- There you are, Butters!Copy !req
311. Oh, hey dad.
- What's he done now?Copy !req
312. Mr. Stotch, your son is insubordinate,
unwilling to change and worse yetCopy !req
313. he's lost his accountabilibuddy!Copy !req
314. They found him! They found Bradley!
You'd better come quick!Copy !req
315. Oh Lord in Heaven!
Don't jump, Bradley!Copy !req
316. Stay back!
I'm an abomination of God!Copy !req
317. No, we're fixing you!Copy !req
318. Guess you think today is your big day, huh Kyle?
To embarrass me in front of everyone?Copy !req
319. Well guess what?
I'm not giving you the satisfaction!Copy !req
320. Okay students, let's all take our seats.Copy !req
321. Since it is Monday, we'll start
as always with Show And Tell.Copy !req
322. Who'd like to go first?Copy !req
323. Ow! Quit it, dude!Copy !req
324. Okay Eric, Jesus, calm down.
You can go first.Copy !req
325. For Show And Tell today, I would like
to share with you some very special,Copy !req
326. very artsy photographs I've taken in pursuit
of being a respected photographer.Copy !req
327. This first picture I like to call
"Moods of Winter."Copy !req
328. A simple aspen grove shot
in high-contrast black and whiteCopy !req
329. shows the brittleness of the trunks
and reminds one of death.Copy !req
330. This picture I took just as the sun was rising
and this lonely man was walking to work.Copy !req
331. A statement about all of
our loneliness, perhaps?Copy !req
332. He isn't actually going to show everyone.Copy !req
333. And now this next picture...Copy !req
334. Don't jump, Bradley! You will
only make god angrier with you!Copy !req
335. It's too late.Copy !req
336. Bradley, please. You're my accountabilibuddy.
How will this make me look?Copy !req
337. You get back. You're only
gonna make things worse.Copy !req
338. I'm not normal. I'll never be normal!Copy !req
339. You're perfectly normal, Bradley.
- Get back! You're just as confused as he is!Copy !req
340. All right. All right that does it!Copy !req
341. I am sick and tired of everyone
telling me I'm confused!Copy !req
342. I wasn't confused until other people
started telling me I was!Copy !req
343. You know what I think? I think maybe
you are the ones who are confused!Copy !req
344. Yeah.Copy !req
345. I'm not gonna be confused anymore
just because you say I should be!Copy !req
346. My name is Butters, I'm eight years old,
I'm blood type O and I'm bi-curious!Copy !req
347. And even that's okay! Because if I'm bi-curious
and I'm somehow made from God.Copy !req
348. Then I think your God must be
a little bi-curious himself!Copy !req
349. I think. I think I'd like to come down now.Copy !req
350. He's coming down! We did it!Copy !req
351. Through the power of Christ
we have saved this child!Copy !req
352. Well Butters, I guess we might as well go home.Copy !req
353. Looks like you're never gonna change.
- No. I like being bi-curious.Copy !req
354. Well you know something? So do I.Copy !req
355. Wait. Now I am confused.Copy !req
356. And this photograph I took of a sunset
near the power plant.Copy !req
357. Note how the contrasting images make
a statement about our impact on the Earth.Copy !req
358. Which brings us to my last picture.Copy !req
359. This picture you may find somewhat controversial.Copy !req
360. Dude.Copy !req
361. Yes. This is shot at a 5.6 aperture
using a low-light filter.Copy !req
362. You can see the grain from
the high-speed film...Copy !req
363. there's sort of a penis in
my mouth right here...Copy !req
364. and the low depth of field keeps
the background soft.Copy !req
365. Eric, what the hell is this?Copy !req
366. What this is, is a statement
against the war in Iraq.Copy !req
367. It's wrong that we still have
our troops there. It's wrong!Copy !req
368. And what I think that-
- Eric Cartman?Copy !req
369. We got an emergency message from your mother?Copy !req
370. Do not show picture.
Kyle didn't have it after all.Copy !req
371. Found it under your desk.Copy !req
372. She said you'd know what that means, mkay?Copy !req
373. Lame.Copy !req