1. I'm going down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time,Copy !req
2. Friendly faces everywhere,
humble folks without temptation,Copy !req
3. I'm goin out to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind,Copy !req
4. Ample parking day or night,
people spouting howdy neighbor,Copy !req
5. I'm heading out to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind,Copy !req
6. I like girls with big fat titties,
I like girls with really big fat titties,Copy !req
7. So come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine,Copy !req
8. All right, let's try over here.Copy !req
9. Set up traps there,
and there as well.Copy !req
10. Last time I saw him,
he ran right through here.Copy !req
11. This is so retarded, Cartman. You've got
everyone believing your stupid story.Copy !req
12. It isn't a story, it's true!
I saw a leprechaun.Copy !req
13. I've seen him come through here
three days in a row now.Copy !req
14. Hawk Eyes, this is Dragon Wind.
Do you copy?Copy !req
15. This is Hawk Eyes.Copy !req
16. We've set up the net
and we're standing by.Copy !req
17. Copy that, Hawk Eyes.
Keep surveillance tag Alpha Niner.Copy !req
18. Dragon Wind out.Copy !req
19. Just admit you were lying, Cartman,
so that everyone can go home!Copy !req
20. Oh no!
We have a deal, Kyle!Copy !req
21. If I can prove there's a leprechaun,
you have to suck my balls, remember?Copy !req
22. Dragon Wind to Blackie:
What's your six, Blackie?Copy !req
23. I don't want
the code name Blackie.Copy !req
24. Code names are
what they are, Blackie!Copy !req
25. Check your six and
alert when in position!Copy !req
26. - This is fucking retarded!
- Hah, getting nervous, Kyle?Copy !req
27. When that leprechaus shows up,
you must suck my balls!Copy !req
28. Don't forget I have
a signed contract from you.Copy !req
29. Yeah, and if you couldn't prove
sthere was a leprechaun,Copy !req
30. you have to give me
ten dollars!Copy !req
31. Now just pay up
and stop being stupid!Copy !req
32. Goddamnit, why hasn't it shown up yet?
Dragon Wind to Faggot! Come in, Faggot!Copy !req
33. This is Faggot.
Go ahead.Copy !req
34. Faggot, I need you to keep surveillance
North to North East. Check back in five.Copy !req
35. Okay, will do. Faggot out.Copy !req
36. Okay, that's enough.
Everybody!Copy !req
37. Cartman is just pulling one of his
stupid tricks on everyone.Copy !req
38. Because he's trying to get out
of a deal he made!Copy !req
39. It was here, I swear it! I don't know
why it's not showing up this time!Copy !req
40. You didn't see
a leprechaun, fatass!Copy !req
41. If you could prove it,
I had to suck your balls,Copy !req
42. but if you couldn't, you had
to pay me ten dollars! Pay up!Copy !req
43. Uh, I got something!
I got it!Copy !req
44. It's uh... Oh jeez,
I think it's a leprechaun.Copy !req
45. Set off diversion track C!Copy !req
46. - Dude...
- Fuh—Fuck me, it's a leprechaun.Copy !req
47. Get it!Copy !req
48. Get that fucking leprechaun!
I want it alive!Copy !req
49. - Wow.
- Cool. No way.Copy !req
50. Uh, move aside!
Move aside!Copy !req
51. All right, butthole,
where's the gold?Copy !req
52. You lads don't know what you're doing.
I need to deliver an important message!Copy !req
53. There's going
to be an attack!Copy !req
54. Tell me where the gold
is or you die... slow!Copy !req
55. Where'd he go?Copy !req
56. I was sent to warn
of a terrorist attack,Copy !req
57. but you boys
have made me late.Copy !req
58. Now the terrorists will prevail.
The end is near!Copy !req
59. Dude.Copy !req
60. Kyle, suck my balls.Copy !req
61. Dad, where do
leprechauns come from?Copy !req
62. From Ireland.Copy !req
63. So... why would one come to America
to warn us about a terrorist attack?Copy !req
64. Kyle,
leprechauns aren't real.Copy !req
65. You're almost nine now.Copy !req
66. You need to understand the difference
beween real and imaginary.Copy !req
67. I thought I did.Copy !req
68. Ms. Broflovski, how are you
this fine evening?Copy !req
69. Oh, hello Eric.
Kyle, your friend is here.Copy !req
70. Hello, Mr. Broflovski, Ike.
Nice evening, isn't it?Copy !req
71. Well Kyle, shall we go up to your room
for a few minutes?Copy !req
72. Get out of here, Cartman,
we're eating dinner.Copy !req
73. Kyle, I believe a certain
someone is supposed to putCopy !req
74. a certain set of balls
in their mouth.Copy !req
75. - I'm not doing it, fatass!
- Doing what?Copy !req
76. - We had a deal, Kyle.
- Just get out of here!Copy !req
77. - You signed an agreement, Kyle!
- I don't care if I signed an agreement!Copy !req
78. Hey now Kyle, if you made a deal
with somebody, you have to stick by it.Copy !req
79. - Thank you, Mr. Broflovski.
- What was the agreement?Copy !req
80. That if he could prove
leprechauns exist,Copy !req
81. I would suck his balls.Copy !req
82. What—What?Copy !req
83. And there was a leprechaun!
You saw it, Kyle!Copy !req
84. Hey, dudes.Copy !req
85. Hey, Kyle.Copy !req
86. - So, how was it?
- How was what?Copy !req
87. Sucking Cartman's b-balls.Copy !req
88. I didn't suck his balls, all right?
And I'm not going to!Copy !req
89. Dude, why did you ever agree to suck
his balls in the first place?Copy !req
90. I didn't think there would actually be
a leprechaun! And I still don't!Copy !req
91. Why would a leprechaun be warning us
of a terrorist attack?Copy !req
92. There's another explanation
for all this.Copy !req
93. Excuse me.Copy !req
94. Have you boys seen a leprechaun
anywhere lately?Copy !req
95. What do you know
about the leprechaun?Copy !req
96. Oh, then you did
see him.Copy !req
97. That's wontiferous!Copy !req
98. I want you to tell me
everything he said.Copy !req
99. - Where was he? What was he doing?
- All right I've had enough!Copy !req
100. - Leprechauns are imaginary!
- Well, of course they are.Copy !req
101. But just because they're imaginary,
doesn't mean they aren't real.Copy !req
102. Haven't you boys ever
used your imagination?Copy !req
103. You young man!
How would you like to be a cowboy?Copy !req
104. Or a swashbuckling pirate?Copy !req
105. And you! How would you like to be
an astronaut, far out in space?Copy !req
106. All it takes is
a little... imagination.Copy !req
107. - Who the hell are you?
- Still not convinced, eh?Copy !req
108. I tell you what, boys.Copy !req
109. What say we all take a ride
on my Imagination Flying Machine?Copy !req
110. Dude.Copy !req
111. Hop aboard, kids.
I have something to show you.Copy !req
112. Are you gonna rape us?Copy !req
113. No?Copy !req
114. - Ah, all right then.
- Come on, guys.Copy !req
115. Watch it, fellas. I'm pretty sure
this guy wants to rape us.Copy !req
116. All aboard
the Imagination Balloon!Copy !req
117. Some people feel imagination isn't real,
but I tell them that they're wrong.Copy !req
118. Because whenever I want to play
and pretend, I just sing...Copy !req
119. the Imagination Song.Copy !req
120. Are you gonna take us
somewhere or not?Copy !req
121. But my boy,
we're already here.Copy !req
122. - What is this place?
- This is Imaginationland.Copy !req
123. It's where all the wonderful
and goofy thingsCopy !req
124. that humans have made up
over the yearsCopy !req
125. live together.Copy !req
126. Citizens
of Imaginationland!Copy !req
127. We have distinguished guests
from the world beyond!Copy !req
128. Hello.Copy !req
129. Welcome to Imaginationland.
I am the Lollipop King.Copy !req
130. We are honored to have Creators
in our kingdom.Copy !req
131. Now, good news, everyone.
These boys did see the leprechaun!Copy !req
132. What did the leprechaun tell you?
Did he have any news?Copy !req
133. Well he said
there was gonna be a—Copy !req
134. there was gonna be a—Copy !req
135. Allah!Copy !req
136. Oh fuck, no!Copy !req
137. Stan, we have
to get out of here!Copy !req
138. Quickly, boys.
Get on my back.Copy !req
139. Fellas! Fellas, wait!Copy !req
140. Hold on, fellas!Copy !req
141. - Butters.
- Don't leave me, fellas! Come back!Copy !req
142. Dude!Copy !req
143. - Hey, guys!
- Goodbye, Butters.Copy !req
144. Where...?
Oh. Oh dude.Copy !req
145. Oh, it was just a dream.
It was all just a crazy dream.Copy !req
146. Oh my God.Copy !req
147. Hello?Copy !req
148. Dude, did you finish
your math homework?Copy !req
149. I kind of lost
track of time last night.Copy !req
150. No, no,
I hardly got any sleep.Copy !req
151. I had this whole
messed up dreamCopy !req
152. about some gay mayor guy
taking us to ImaginationlandCopy !req
153. where all these imaginary
characters lived.Copy !req
154. And then it got attacked
by terrorists?Copy !req
155. - Yeah! How'd you know?
- Dude! I had the same dream.Copy !req
156. We jumped on a dragon's back
and Butters got left behind!Copy !req
157. Stan? Stanley? You haven't seen
your little friend Butters, have you?Copy !req
158. Why?Copy !req
159. Our darling Butters
never came home last night.Copy !req
160. What did they say?Copy !req
161. We don't wanna jump
to conclusions, but...Copy !req
162. We're worried that maybe
somebody kidnapped Butters,Copy !req
163. sodomized him
over and over againCopy !req
164. and then fed his genitals
to wild animals.Copy !req
165. There there, darling.Copy !req
166. Dude.Copy !req
167. Ladies and gentlemen,
I have dire news.Copy !req
168. Yesterday,
at approximately 18:00 hours,Copy !req
169. terrorists successfully attacked...
our imagination.Copy !req
170. - Our imagination?
- How?Copy !req
171. The imaginary attack appears to have
been in the works for years.Copy !req
172. The effects of the attack are
so far unimaginable.Copy !req
173. We've intercepted this videotape
the terrorists made for broadcast.Copy !req
174. Luckily we've kept it from
being broadcast to the public.Copy !req
175. Assalam waleikum!Copy !req
176. No! It's just a Care Bear!Copy !req
177. Oh my God.Copy !req
178. Later in the video, we can see
another imaginary hostage,Copy !req
179. this one reading
a forced statement.Copy !req
180. Praise to the mighty Allah.Copy !req
181. His divine grace and will
have brought forth this day.Copy !req
182. Oh jeez!Copy !req
183. Now see, your safety is at our whim.
This is the price you pay, America!Copy !req
184. You have defiled Allah,Copy !req
185. and now we shall turn
your imagination against you!Copy !req
186. Death to the Infidels!Copy !req
187. Can I go now?Copy !req
188. Stan! Kyle! Could you—
Could you get me out of here?Copy !req
189. Gentlemen, the terrorists appear to have
complete control of our imagination.Copy !req
190. It's only a matter of time before
our imaginations start running wild.Copy !req
191. I believe a serious blow to democracy
has just been dealt.Copy !req
192. A travesty has occurred
and I want justice!Copy !req
193. Kyle Broflovski did
willingly and knowinglyCopy !req
194. sign a contract,
and yet, as to date,Copy !req
195. he has made no effort,
nor does he show any intention,Copy !req
196. of ever
sucking my balls.Copy !req
197. I've given him ample time to fulfill
his obligation and he has thus refused.Copy !req
198. I stand before you with dry balls,
Your Honor.Copy !req
199. I've provided witnesses,
collected testimonials,Copy !req
200. and still,
my balls remain dry.Copy !req
201. I want
what I'm entitled to.Copy !req
202. Mr. Broflovski, did you agree
to orally imbibeCopy !req
203. Mr. Cartman's scrotum
and testicles?Copy !req
204. I...Copy !req
205. Is this not your signature
on the contract?Copy !req
206. Come, come on!
Really?Copy !req
207. I mean, aren't there more
important things going on right now?Copy !req
208. From what I've been presented
and the evidence put forth,Copy !req
209. the court has no choice
but to order you to placeCopy !req
210. Mr. Cartman's pubicle sac
in your mouthCopy !req
211. and draw upon it succulently
for no less than 30 seconds.Copy !req
212. Yes!Copy !req
213. You have twenty four hours
to suck aforementioned balls.Copy !req
214. If after that time
you still refuse,Copy !req
215. the court will be forced
to arrest you for contempt.Copy !req
216. Next case!Copy !req
217. Thank you, Your Honor.Copy !req
218. This isn't a victory for me.Copy !req
219. This is a victory
for the justice system.Copy !req
220. And my balls.Copy !req
221. What I am about to tell you
is highly classified.Copy !req
222. Two days ago, Muslim terrorists
hijacked our imagination.Copy !req
223. Frankly we don't know what their
next move is or how to stop them.Copy !req
224. In times like these, the government
often turns to Hollywood for help.Copy !req
225. You creative filmmakers can think
of ideas we just can't.Copy !req
226. That's why we've asked you here,
M. Night Shyal-amalam.Copy !req
227. The Sixth Sense, Signs, The Village,
all very clever films.Copy !req
228. But can you use your amazing idea brain
now to help us stop the terrorists?Copy !req
229. What if...Copy !req
230. What if it turns out
they aren't terrorists?Copy !req
231. But they're actually werewolves?
From the future?Copy !req
232. No. No, they're terrorists.
They've been linked to Al Qaeda.Copy !req
233. But what if Al Qaeda, it turns out,
is the group being terrorized?Copy !req
234. By aliens?Copy !req
235. No, no. That's not an idea,
that's a twist. We need ideas.Copy !req
236. How about we make everyone
think that terrorists attacked us?Copy !req
237. But really,
we were all already dead.Copy !req
238. Get him out of here.Copy !req
239. Mr. Bay, can you think of any ideas
how to outwit these terrorists?Copy !req
240. I believe I can.Copy !req
241. We start by making a big CG building
and then we have a meteor go, crosh!Copy !req
242. And it's all like, crawl.Copy !req
243. And motorcycles burst into flame while
they jump over these helicopters, right?Copy !req
244. No, no! We need ideas how
to stop the terrorists!Copy !req
245. An eighteen-wheeler spins
out of control and it's all like, brosh.Copy !req
246. And then this huge tanker
full of dinosaur—Copy !req
247. Those aren't ideas,
those are special effects!Copy !req
248. - I don't understand the difference.
- I know you don't. Get him out of here!Copy !req
249. And being that we are all
big Mel Gibson film fans,Copy !req
250. we thought
maybe you could help us.Copy !req
251. Ah, my nipples, they hurt!
They hurt when I twist them!Copy !req
252. Yes, I don't suppose
you have any creative ideasCopy !req
253. how to fight these terrorists?Copy !req
254. How about this? You have that videotape
that the terrorists made, right?Copy !req
255. Well maybe if you did a background
check on that videotape,Copy !req
256. you might find somebody
who doesn't belong.Copy !req
257. Somebody who doesn't fit
in Imaginationland.Copy !req
258. Hey, that's not
a bad idea.Copy !req
259. Yeah. Say what you
will about Mel Gibson,Copy !req
260. but the son of a bitch
knows story structure.Copy !req
261. Get the videotape and do
a background check on everyone in it!Copy !req
262. Yes!Copy !req
263. All the imaginary characters
in the tape were identified, sir.Copy !req
264. Count Chocula, Cinderella,
Snarf from Thundercats, but here...Copy !req
265. Nothing in American folklore
or storytalling match this kid.Copy !req
266. He appears
to be just some kid.Copy !req
267. Stan! Kyle! Could you,
could you get me out of here?Copy !req
268. I want digital imaging
and resource magnification done stat!Copy !req
269. If that kid isn't imaginary,
I want to know who he is,Copy !req
270. where he's from
and who his friends are!Copy !req
271. Yes, sir!Copy !req
272. Who are you?Copy !req
273. Uh, excuse me?
Uh Mr. Terrorist, sir?Copy !req
274. Uh, I'm actually not imaginaryCopy !req
275. and my parents are gonna
ground me if I don't get back—Copy !req
276. Okay, sorry.
Sorry.Copy !req
277. Can you tell
what the terrorists are doing?Copy !req
278. They're doing something
to Rockety Rocket.Copy !req
279. No! Leave me alone!Copy !req
280. It doesn't make sense.
What do they want with Rockety?Copy !req
281. The only reason
they would—Copy !req
282. Oh my God. They're gonna
blow up the Barrier!Copy !req
283. - What's the Barrier?
- The wall!Copy !req
284. The wall which separates the evil side
of Imaginationland from the good side!Copy !req
285. No! No, you can't blow up the barrier!
Are you insane?Copy !req
286. - We can't let this happen.
- It will be the end of Imaginationland.Copy !req
287. - Yeah. You have to stop them, kid.
- Me?Copy !req
288. - What am I supposed to do?
- Don't you get it?Copy !req
289. If the terrorists blow that barrier,
all the most evil things ever imaginedCopy !req
290. are gonna pour out and take
over Imaginationland for good!Copy !req
291. You have
to do something!Copy !req
292. Thanks for coming, everyone.Copy !req
293. The big moment is almost here,
as soon as Kyle arrives.Copy !req
294. He's not gonna show up
to suck your balls, dude.Copy !req
295. He has to. He's been
ordered by the court.Copy !req
296. - Hey, he's here.
- What? Move aside, move aside!Copy !req
297. - Dude, do you really have to do it?
- Let's just get this over with!Copy !req
298. Yes, come on in, peasant Kyle,
and pay homage to this Sultan's balls.Copy !req
299. Goddamnit!Copy !req
300. Yes. Yes!Copy !req
301. That's them, sir.
Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski.Copy !req
302. You boys need to come with us on
a matter of national security.Copy !req
303. Who are you?Copy !req
304. There's no time!
You need to come with us right now!Copy !req
305. Hey, let go of him!Copy !req
306. We aren't going to hurt
your little friends.Copy !req
307. We just need information.Copy !req
308. No! No,
he has to suck my balls!Copy !req
309. No! Kyle!Copy !req
310. Allah!Copy !req
311. No! No!Copy !req
312. Hold on!
Hold on a second!Copy !req
313. Now, you really
should think about this.Copy !req
314. I mean...Copy !req
315. I know you think
attacking our imaginationCopy !req
316. will get you somewhere,
but will it really?Copy !req
317. If you destroy that wall,Copy !req
318. all the most evil parts of
our imagination are gonna break loose,Copy !req
319. but will it really make you
terrorists feel better?Copy !req
320. Maybe it's time for us
all to just get along.Copy !req
321. Allah!Copy !req
322. Jesus Christ, no!Copy !req
323. That was your plan
to stop them?Copy !req
324. Yeah and that's
not a heartfelt speech?Copy !req
325. That's fucking stupid!Copy !req
326. They are coming...Copy !req
327. Glad I picked you up, kid.Copy !req
328. It's dangerous for someone
your age to be hitchhiking.Copy !req
329. Yeah well, when a man
has been wronged...Copy !req
330. he no longer cares
about danger.Copy !req
331. You going to Washington
to visit family?Copy !req
332. I've got unfinished business. You go
through life being told there's justice,Copy !req
333. then you learn that
the only real justice...Copy !req
334. is the justice you take.Copy !req
335. Make no mistake, Kyle.Copy !req
336. Before this is over,
you will suck my balls.Copy !req