1. Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!Copy !req
2. M'kay, students.Copy !req
3. We have a very special
guest speaker today.Copy !req
4. Who can tell me the name of our
country's last vice president?Copy !req
5. Dick Cheney?Copy !req
6. No, the last one.Copy !req
7. Bill Clinton!Copy !req
8. No, Clinton's vice president.Copy !req
9. He is here today
to talk to you studentsCopy !req
10. about some very serious issues.Copy !req
11. Please welcome Al Gore!Copy !req
12. Who?Copy !req
13. Thank you, Mr. Mackey, students
of South Park Elementary.Copy !req
14. I am here to educate youCopy !req
15. about the single biggest threat
to our planet.Copy !req
16. You see,
there is something out thereCopy !req
17. which threatens
our very existenceCopy !req
18. and may be the end
to the human race as we know it.Copy !req
19. I'm talking, of course,
about ManBearPig.Copy !req
20. ManBearPig?Copy !req
21. It is a creature
which roams the earth alone.Copy !req
22. It is half man, half bear,
and half pig.Copy !req
23. Some people say
that ManBearPig isn't real.Copy !req
24. Well, I'm here to tell you now,Copy !req
25. ManBearPig is very real,
and he most certainly exists.Copy !req
26. I'm cereal.Copy !req
27. ManBearPig doesn't care
who you are or what you've done.Copy !req
28. ManBearPig simply
wants to get you.Copy !req
29. I'm super cereal.Copy !req
30. But have no fear,
because I am here to save you.Copy !req
31. And someday, when the world
is rid of ManBearPig,Copy !req
32. everyone will say,
"Thank you, Al Gore.Copy !req
33. You're super awesome."Copy !req
34. The end.Copy !req
35. Uh, okay.
Thank you, Mr. Gore.Copy !req
36. Thank you, class.Copy !req
37. Excelsior!Copy !req
38. Check out this sweet move.Copy !req
39. Kyle, you can't block like that!Copy !req
40. Just play the game, fat-ass.Copy !req
41. Pass it to me, Cartman.Copy !req
42. Hang on. I'm gonna do
something super killer.Copy !req
43. God damn it!
Stop it, Kyle!Copy !req
44. All right.
Check it out.Copy !req
45. This is a total Kobe Bryant
I'm about to do.Copy !req
46. Just take a shot
or pass the ball, asshole!Copy !req
47. It's getting late!Copy !req
48. Let's just see you get the ball
this time, Jew boy.Copy !req
49. Kyle, knock it off!Copy !req
50. Cartman stop hogging
the goddamn ball!Copy !req
51. Gwoooon!Copy !req
52. Don't worry.
It's not really ManBearPig.Copy !req
53. It's me — Al Gore.Copy !req
54. We know.Copy !req
55. Dude, what are you doing?Copy !req
56. I'm spreading
ManBearPig awareness.Copy !req
57. Here. Each of you kids take a
pamphlet and a bumper sticker.Copy !req
58. I hope now you boys see
that this is totally cereal.Copy !req
59. The next time, it could be
the real ManBearPig.Copy !req
60. Can I just get you to sign
the awareness sheet?Copy !req
61. Just your name and phone numberCopy !req
62. and where you first
heard about ManBearPig?Copy !req
63. Uh, Stan?Copy !req
64. Oh, hey, Dad.Copy !req
65. Hello.Copy !req
66. It's uh, getting late, boys.Copy !req
67. Why don't you get in the car
and I'll drive you all home.Copy !req
68. Okay, Mr. Marsh.Copy !req
69. Be safe.Copy !req
70. Boys, I don't want you
hanging outCopy !req
71. with that ex-vice president
anymore, okay?Copy !req
72. Aw, he's all right, Dad.Copy !req
73. He was just trying to warn us
about ManBearPig.Copy !req
74. ManBearPig?Copy !req
75. He's half man and half bearpig.Copy !req
76. No, dude, he's half man,
half bear, and half pig.Copy !req
77. That doesn't make any sense.Copy !req
78. He could be half bear,
half manpig.Copy !req
79. Boys, there's no such thing
as a ManBearPig.Copy !req
80. The vice president is just
desperate for attention.Copy !req
81. But I feel kind of bad
for him, Dad.Copy !req
82. I don't think he has
any friends.Copy !req
83. Hello?Copy !req
84. Hello.
This is Al Gore.Copy !req
85. Oh, man.Copy !req
86. Hi, Mr. Gore.Copy !req
87. - I was the vice president.
- I know.Copy !req
88. Can you and your friends make itCopy !req
89. to an emergency ManBearPig
meeting tomorrow morning?Copy !req
90. I have some evidence
he could be in this area.Copy !req
91. Look, I'm sorry,
but we're all kind of busy.Copy !req
92. Oh. I get it.Copy !req
93. You don't believe me either.Copy !req
94. No, no.
It's not that.Copy !req
95. Yes, it is.Copy !req
96. Nobody believes me!Copy !req
97. I'm trying to warn everybody,
and nobody takes me cereal!Copy !req
98. I just want somebody
in the worldCopy !req
99. to take me cereal just for once.Copy !req
100. It's okay, Mr. Gore.Copy !req
101. I-I believe you.Copy !req
102. No, you don't.Copy !req
103. Yeah. I'm sure ManBearPig
needs to be stopped.Copy !req
104. I'm just — I'm just scaredCopy !req
105. that I can't do anything
to stop him.Copy !req
106. Are you cereal?Copy !req
107. Yes, I'm cereal.Copy !req
108. Don't worry.
We can stop him!Copy !req
109. Bring everyone you can
to my ManBearPig meetingCopy !req
110. tomorrow at 8:00 a.m. sharp!Copy !req
111. Dude, why are we going
to hang out with this guy?Copy !req
112. Mrph.
Mrph rmh rmphm.Copy !req
113. Come on, you guys. Al Gore
doesn't have any friends.Copy !req
114. We'll make an appearance at his
little meeting and we'll go.Copy !req
115. Hi, kids!
Come on in!Copy !req
116. Okay.
Let's get this meeting started.Copy !req
117. What do you kids think we
should do to stop ManBearPig?Copy !req
118. Yeah, you know, Mr. Gore,
my dad is a geologist,Copy !req
119. and he said that ManBearPig
probably isn't in Colorado.Copy !req
120. What does your dad look like?Copy !req
121. Does he have large hooves
where his feet should be?Copy !req
122. No!Copy !req
123. Damn. For a minute there,
I thought we'd found him.Copy !req
124. Well, this was a great meeting,
wasn't it, guys?Copy !req
125. But we got to get going
to school now.Copy !req
126. Oh, my God!Copy !req
127. ManBearPig screen active!Copy !req
128. What is this area of Colorado?
It's a cave of some kind!Copy !req
129. Yeah, that's Cave of the Winds.
It's a tourist attraction.Copy !req
130. Oh, Jesus on ice skates,Copy !req
131. we've got to get down there
right away.Copy !req
132. - I don't think so, dude.
- Yeah, we've got school anyway.Copy !req
133. I can get you all excused
from school.Copy !req
134. You have that kind of power?Copy !req
135. Look, you boys have a chanceCopy !req
136. to help me find and kill
ManBearPig once and for all.Copy !req
137. I'm totally cereal!Copy !req
138. Hello, everyone.
Welcome to Cave of the Winds.Copy !req
139. Our tour is going to take us
through two chambersCopy !req
140. of one of the most elaborate
cavern systems in Colorado.Copy !req
141. Before we get started,
I do understandCopy !req
142. we have a special guest
in our group today —Copy !req
143. the ex-vice president,
Mr. Al Gore!Copy !req
144. Mr. Gore asked me to make sure
you all knew he was here.Copy !req
145. Now, once we enter the cave,Copy !req
146. we do ask you that you follow
two rules —Copy !req
147. stay on the path
and do not touch anything.Copy !req
148. All right.
Are we ready?Copy !req
149. Yeah!Copy !req
150. Let's go cavin'!Copy !req
151. Here we are in the main chamber
of the cave.Copy !req
152. It was discovered in 1892Copy !req
153. and first used as a hideout
for smugglers of the Old West.Copy !req
154. Have you noticed
high deposits of sulfurCopy !req
155. or a salmon-like odor
coming from the caves lately?Copy !req
156. Uh, no.Copy !req
157. Now, as you can see,Copy !req
158. the cave is filled with
stalagmites and stalactites.Copy !req
159. - Water drips from the...
- All right, kids.Copy !req
160. I need you to keep an eye out
for ManBearPig droppings.Copy !req
161. What do ManBearPig droppings
look like?Copy !req
162. Similar to pig droppings
but more manbear-like.Copy !req
163. These rocks often make
interesting shapes,Copy !req
164. which we like to name.Copy !req
165. For instance, this one here
we named The Hanging Mushroom."Copy !req
166. And over here we have Man With
Helmet and Two Bowling Balls.Copy !req
167. And finally, of course,
The Two Sisters.Copy !req
168. Now, the cave itself
is millions of years oldCopy !req
169. and has a constant temperature
of 57 degrees.Copy !req
170. Gwoooooon!Copy !req
171. Gwoooooon!Copy !req
172. Sir? Mr. Gore?
Is there a problem?Copy !req
173. - Not yet.
- All right, everyone.Copy !req
174. If you'll step this way, you'll
see how the cave gets its name.Copy !req
175. Kids! Kids, over here!
Look!Copy !req
176. What?Copy !req
177. I'll bet this is where
he's hiding.Copy !req
178. This looks like
ManBearPig central.Copy !req
179. Come on!Copy !req
180. Come on!
This is where ManBearPig is!Copy !req
181. I'm cereal!Copy !req
182. In certain areas of the cave,
the wind actually blows through,Copy !req
183. causing a sound you can hear.Copy !req
184. - Ahh!
- Ooh!Copy !req
185. Take a picture of the sound,
Steven.Copy !req
186. Mr. Gore, I think we should
stay with the tour group.Copy !req
187. Wait!
Shh!Copy !req
188. Christ, he's here!Copy !req
189. Take this rope!Copy !req
190. Be ready to tie him up!Copy !req
191. I've got you now,
you son of a bitch!Copy !req
192. What are you doing?Copy !req
193. Oh, no!Copy !req
194. No!Copy !req
195. Leave them alone,
you goddamn ManBearPig!Copy !req
196. Help! Help!Copy !req
197. Damn you, ManBearPig!
They're just children!Copy !req
198. Okay.
Everyone out of the cave now!Copy !req
199. Go! Go!
Move out!Copy !req
200. Aaah!Copy !req
201. - Hello?
- Help!Copy !req
202. We're trapped in here!Copy !req
203. Somebody get us!
We're trapped down here! Hello!Copy !req
204. - Help!
- Forget it!Copy !req
205. - They can't hear us.
- Mrph rmh rmhmhm rmh?Copy !req
206. You better get us out of here,
asshole!Copy !req
207. Me?Copy !req
208. You just had to go
and be nice to Al Gore!Copy !req
209. Now we're trapped in a cave!Copy !req
210. Maybe there's another way
out of here.Copy !req
211. Mrph rmhmhm.Copy !req
212. All right. Let's split up
and look for a passageway.Copy !req
213. Everyone take
a different direction.Copy !req
214. Oh, man.
We're in big trouble here.Copy !req
215. This is bullcrap.Copy !req
216. If I miss dinner,
I'm gonna be so pissed off.Copy !req
217. Aah!Copy !req
218. God damn it!Copy !req
219. You see anything, Kenny?Copy !req
220. Mrph rmh rm!Copy !req
221. Cartman?Copy !req
222. Cartman, you see anything?Copy !req
223. No, nothing.Copy !req
224. No.
Nothing here. Nothing this way.Copy !req
225. T-Treasure.Copy !req
226. Cartman, you okay?
You need help?Copy !req
227. I'm fine!
This way's a d-dead end!Copy !req
228. Coming back to you now.Copy !req
229. It looks like we're
completely sealed in.Copy !req
230. Mrph rmh rmphm.Copy !req
231. There's a small passageway
about 200 yards over there.Copy !req
232. But it goes for a long,
long way, and it's pretty steep.Copy !req
233. Maybe we should go for it.Copy !req
234. You guys go on ahead.Copy !req
235. I'm gonna stay here,
wait it out.Copy !req
236. Why?Copy !req
237. I just —
I don't feel very good.Copy !req
238. I'll just weigh you guys down.Copy !req
239. Cartman's right —
First rule of survivalCopy !req
240. is stay put
and wait to be rescued.Copy !req
241. No. It's okay.
You guys go on ahead.Copy !req
242. No.
We'll stay here, too.Copy !req
243. If we start wandering off,
we're gonna get lost or killed.Copy !req
244. Let's just wait here
and hope help comes soon.Copy !req
245. That's cool.Copy !req
246. I just — I just wouldn't go
over there if I were you guys.Copy !req
247. I just took a huge dump.Copy !req
248. Aw, dude!Copy !req
249. The cave-in was massive and has
cut off all access in or out.Copy !req
250. The children are believed to be
trapped somewhere in this area.Copy !req
251. Does anybody know
who these kids are?Copy !req
252. No, nobody seems to know them,Copy !req
253. only that they were
in the tour group.Copy !req
254. Digging to them
is gonna take days.Copy !req
255. Excuse me!Copy !req
256. This cave-in was no accident,Copy !req
257. and it isn't going to stop
unless we move fast.Copy !req
258. I am superduper cereal.Copy !req
259. What do you mean?
The cave-in is over.Copy !req
260. I'm afraid you have a much
bigger problem than a cave-in.Copy !req
261. What's that?Copy !req
262. What is that?
A PigBearMan?Copy !req
263. No, stupid.Copy !req
264. It's ManBearPig.Copy !req
265. I'm so hungry.Copy !req
266. Do you think people
even know we're here?Copy !req
267. They saw us on the tour.Copy !req
268. Dude, where do you keep going,
Cartman?Copy !req
269. I just need to keep taking
a crap.Copy !req
270. I've got diarrhea really bad.Copy !req
271. Dude, it's bad enough
we have to sit hereCopy !req
272. without you taking a crap
every 10 minutes!Copy !req
273. Let's just try to sleep.Copy !req
274. Maybe help will come tomorrow.Copy !req
275. All that treasure.Copy !req
276. It's all mine!Copy !req
277. So long as these greedy assholes
don't find out about it.Copy !req
278. You would all just loveCopy !req
279. to get your hands
on my treasure, wouldn't you?Copy !req
280. Even though I found it,Copy !req
281. you'd love to think
it's somehow yours, too.Copy !req
282. God, I hate you guys.Copy !req
283. Especially you,Copy !req
284. you money-grubbing
snake in the grass.Copy !req
285. Well, I've got news for you,
Kyle.Copy !req
286. You're never going to get
my treasure.Copy !req
287. I've got a little plan goingCopy !req
288. to get the treasure out of here
without you ever knowing.Copy !req
289. C-Cartman?Copy !req
290. Oh. Hey, Kyle.
How's it going?Copy !req
291. Dude, what are you doing?Copy !req
292. Not much.Copy !req
293. You know, just hanging out.Copy !req
294. How you been, man?
Good?Copy !req
295. Dude, get away from me.Copy !req
296. Yeah, it was nice talking
with you, Kyle.Copy !req
297. See you around.Copy !req
298. Why won't anybody listen to me?Copy !req
299. ManBearPig is in there,Copy !req
300. and we have to kill him
while we all have the chance.Copy !req
301. I'm cereal!Copy !req
302. Mr. Gore, please.
We need you to calm down.Copy !req
303. Now, what exactly
do you suggest we do?Copy !req
304. I told you we need to fill
the cave with hot molten leadCopy !req
305. 'cause it's the only way to make
sure ManBearPig never comes out!Copy !req
306. And I'm saying it,
and I'm totally cereal,Copy !req
307. but everyone just keeps digging!Copy !req
308. Well, see, the problem is that
if we fill the cavesCopy !req
309. with hot molten lead,
it will kill those boys, too.Copy !req
310. They're already dead!
Didn't you listen to me?Copy !req
311. They got attacked by ManBearPig,Copy !req
312. and ManBearPig
leaves nobody alive!Copy !req
313. I'm super cereal!Copy !req
314. And nobody will listen to me!
I'm cereal!Copy !req
315. Do you want me to get the
ex-vice president out of here?Copy !req
316. Nah.
I-I feel kind of bad for him.Copy !req
317. I don't think
he has any friends.Copy !req
318. All right.
Got to be strong.Copy !req
319. There's still a lot more
treasure to go.Copy !req
320. Dude, he's really sick.Copy !req
321. It's been three days since
four unidentified childrenCopy !req
322. were trapped in a cave-in.Copy !req
323. Three days without food, and
time is certainly running out.Copy !req
324. The digging continues,
but progress is fatally slow.Copy !req
325. All right, people.
We've got to work faster.Copy !req
326. Our best estimate still puts us
three days awayCopy !req
327. from reaching the area of
the cave called Smuggler's Den.Copy !req
328. Smuggler's Den?Copy !req
329. I-It's a room near the end
of the tourCopy !req
330. where you can get your picture
taken with fake treasure.Copy !req
331. Here. See?Copy !req
332. Based on where the boys
were seen last,Copy !req
333. they're somewhere near
this area.Copy !req
334. Hopefully they've followed
the first rule of survivalCopy !req
335. and stayed put.Copy !req
336. Stan.
Stan, wake up!Copy !req
337. Huh? What?
Have they come for us?Copy !req
338. No, it's Cartman.Copy !req
339. Something's really wrong
with him.Copy !req
340. Blugh.Copy !req
341. Oh, my God!Copy !req
342. Cartman!
Dude, can you hear me?Copy !req
343. I'm fine.
Just a little —Copy !req
344. No big deal.Copy !req
345. We can't wait here any longer.Copy !req
346. We got to get him out of here
or he's gonna die.Copy !req
347. How, dude?Copy !req
348. We don't even know if that
passage goes anywhere.Copy !req
349. Maybe we should head out first,
see if we can find a way out,Copy !req
350. and then come back for him.Copy !req
351. No, don't!Copy !req
352. Don't leave me here,
you assholes.Copy !req
353. Don't leave me here to die.Copy !req
354. Come on!
Pull!Copy !req
355. God damn it, he's so heavy!Copy !req
356. Hurry, you guys.Copy !req
357. You got to get me out of here.Copy !req
358. - What the hell was that?
- Cartman?Copy !req
359. You guys, we got no time!
You got to get me out!Copy !req
360. This is the end of you,
ManBearPig.Copy !req
361. Excelsior!Copy !req
362. Blugh.Copy !req
363. Mrph rmhmhm rhm.Copy !req
364. I can't keep carrying him, dude.
I've got no strength.Copy !req
365. Yes, you do!Copy !req
366. What the hell is that?Copy !req
367. Oh, my God.Copy !req
368. Aah! Get me out of here!
Get me out of here, you guys!Copy !req
369. Run!Copy !req
370. That's it.
Pull everyone out.Copy !req
371. There's nothing more we can do.Copy !req
372. You're calling off the rescue?Copy !req
373. We didn't plan on
a freak river flood.Copy !req
374. God must really want
those kids dead.Copy !req
375. What if the children
aren't dead?Copy !req
376. Look, the cavern
is completely flooded.Copy !req
377. Nothing could have survived.Copy !req
378. There's nothing left alive
down there.Copy !req
379. Nothing left alive.Copy !req
380. I did it.Copy !req
381. I killed ManBearPig.Copy !req
382. I've saved the earth
from certain destruction.Copy !req
383. Everyone is super stoked on me.Copy !req
384. Even if they don't know it.Copy !req
385. Kenny, here!
Take my hand!Copy !req
386. Hurry, Kyle!
The water's rising!Copy !req
387. Cartman... you've got to swim!Copy !req
388. Kick with your legs!Copy !req
389. I can't kick!Copy !req
390. Yes, you can!Copy !req
391. I can't kick!
You just have to save me!Copy !req
392. - I need your help!
- No, you just have to save me!Copy !req
393. Kyle, no!Copy !req
394. We are gathered here
to say goodbyeCopy !req
395. to four kids
whom we all tried to helpCopy !req
396. but in the end could not.Copy !req
397. But where there is loss,
there is hope.Copy !req
398. For ManBearPig is no more.Copy !req
399. Oh, Jesus.
Here we go again.Copy !req
400. I have beaten ManBearPig,Copy !req
401. and we will never forget
the namesCopy !req
402. of the brave young kids
who lost their lives —Copy !req
403. kid one... kid two... kid three...Copy !req
404. and, of course, kid four.Copy !req
405. I remember how kid one
used to laugh and playCopy !req
406. and how kid two was always there
when I needed him.Copy !req
407. Oh, my God!Copy !req
408. It's the kids!
They're alive!Copy !req
409. Kids!
I saved you!Copy !req
410. Just stay away from us, asshole!Copy !req
411. I was nice to you
because I felt sorry for youCopy !req
412. because you don't have
any friends!Copy !req
413. But now I see why
you don't have any friends!Copy !req
414. You just use ManBearPig as a way
to get attention for yourselfCopy !req
415. because you're a loser!Copy !req
416. Yeah, right.Copy !req
417. The man who single-handedly
killed ManBearPig is a loser.Copy !req
418. We need to get our friend
to a hospital right away!Copy !req
419. No!
No, I'm fine.Copy !req
420. I just need to get home
and rest.Copy !req
421. Cartman, seriously,
you need to see a doctor!Copy !req
422. No!
I just need to get to a toilet.Copy !req
423. See you guys.
I—Copy !req
424. Ha-ba —Copy !req
425. Ha-ba-a-a-a-a-a-a!Copy !req
426. Aah!Copy !req
427. Dude, did Cartman
just crap treasure?Copy !req
428. It's mine!
It's mine! You hear me?Copy !req
429. I got it out of the cave!
It belongs to me!Copy !req
430. Keep your greedy hands away!Copy !req
431. Hey, that looks like
the fake treasureCopy !req
432. from our Smuggler's Den
photo room.Copy !req
433. That's right, and I —Copy !req
434. Fake treasure?Copy !req
435. Yeah. We put it there for kids
to take their picture with.Copy !req
436. All in all, I'd say that
treasure is worth about $14.Copy !req
437. No.Copy !req
438. No!Copy !req
439. Aah!Copy !req
440. Ow!Copy !req
441. You made us pull you to safety
because you ate treasure?Copy !req
442. You son of a bitch!Copy !req
443. Don't you think
I'm hurting enough, Kyle?Copy !req
444. Ow! Ow!Copy !req
445. Ow!Copy !req
446. Well, my work here is done.Copy !req
447. I've killed MBP,Copy !req
448. and now I must save the world
from something else.Copy !req
449. Maybe I'll make a movie.Copy !req
450. A movie starring me.Copy !req
451. Then people will take me
super cereal.Copy !req
452. Excelsior!Copy !req
453. Aah!Copy !req