1. I admit you have smooth moves,
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2. but wait until you see my wrath!
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3. Take that!
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4. Aw, man!
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5. This pop-up ad
totes interrupted my pwnage.
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6. That's not an ad.
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7. It's a FriendSpace message.
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8. Ooh! Somebody wrote me?
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9. If you do not forward this
to three friends,
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10. you will be cursed
with bad luck forever.
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11. I'll send it to three friends
and kiss bad luck goodbye!
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12. Wait...
I don't have any friends!
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13. Orbot, Cubot!
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14. I command you to FriendSpace me!
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15. Ooh, I have two friend requests!
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16. "When your boss tears the lair
apart searching for the remote,
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17. and realizes it was stuck
to his butt the whole time."
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18. That could've been
about any boss?
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19. "Hashtag Eggman Problems"?
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20. Hmm.
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21. That's a good one!
I've got to share that!
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22. Aw, now it's trending!
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23. I'll deal with you two later.
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24. I've got to get a third friend.
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25. Be my friend?
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26. Looking for some web buddies.
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27. You like chat rooms?
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28. Why is it so hard
for an evil villain
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29. to win the trust of his victims?
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30. Huh?
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31. Need help moving, friend?
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32. The people in this town
are so nice.
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33. What was it
you said you do again?
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34. Oh, you'll find out soon enough.
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35. Hey, we should stay in touch.
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36. Let's link up on FriendSpace!
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37. Oh! I'd be delighted!
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38. Of course, might take me a bit.
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39. My computer's buried
in one of these boxes,
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40. and I won't have Internet
hooked up for a few weeks—
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41. Hey, there's that Rabbit Girl.
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42. She's so hip and condescending.
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43. I bet
she's got hundreds of friends!
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44. What's shaking, girlfriend?
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45. Snapping some selfies
to your BFFs?
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46. That's on fleek.
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47. You sound like my mom
when she tries to relate to me.
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48. Parents, right?
They're so whack.
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49. Since we have so much in common,
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50. how about being friends
on FriendSpace?
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51. Friendspace?
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52. That is so two weeks ago.
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53. Tell me about it.
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54. Boresville!
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55. So, uh, what should I be using?
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56. SnarkChat. Duh.
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57. Nevermind. SnarkChat's so over.
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58. Need a hand crossing the street,
old timer?
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59. Oh, what a nice young man.
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60. Are you trying to earn
your merit badge?
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61. Eh... Something like that.
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62. If you would be so kind,
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63. when you get back to the home,
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64. log onto FriendSpace,
shoot a friend request my way.
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65. Shoe down my compu-whosit
and what into HuhSpace?
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66. This is bad! Oh no!
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67. Oh good! He's okay!
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68. Yah!
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69. And the Blue Blur lines up
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70. for his record
25th consecutive goal.
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71. Good grief.
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72. Hey guys, what you doing?
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73. Shooting hoops?
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74. Tossing around the old pigskin?
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75. Doing the sports?
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76. What do you want, Egghead?
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77. Want? I don't want anything.
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78. I demand you add me
on FriendSpace!
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79. No! You're not my friend;
you're my enemy!
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80. Well fine!
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81. I didn't want
to be friends anyway!
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82. I was only asking because—
because— my MomBot made me!
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83. Aw!
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84. I feel bad for the guy.
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85. It might not be a bad idea
to add Eggman on FriendSpace.
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86. We'd keep tabs on him.
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87. Yeah.
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88. Do I really have no friends?
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89. Maybe it's time
to take a look at myself.
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90. Change my attitude.
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91. Try being nice to people.
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92. A friend request?
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93. From Sonic the Hedgehog?
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94. To think I was about
to needlessly improve myself...
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95. "If you do not forward
this message..."
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96. Oh geez. Delete!
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97. So he's an over-sharer.
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98. Yeah. Just ignore him,
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99. the way Meh Burger ignores
customer complaints.
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100. We're not ignoring them.
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101. We're saving them
in case we run out of napkins.
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102. Eggman's a social media menace.
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103. During this conversation alone
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104. he's sent me
a dancing penguin GIF,
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105. a check-in
at Wolf Sidekick's open mic,
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106. and an article about
the Mayor's email server.
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107. I'm sure he'll settle down.
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108. You'll need
a two-ply for that one.
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109. Thankfully, this guy had
many complaints.
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110. People have accused me
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111. of running a pyramid scheme.
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112. To them I say,
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113. sign up
and find out for yourself!
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114. You're not getting away
with this scam, Barker!
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115. "Scam" is such a harsh term.
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116. I like to think of it as
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117. "relieving my clients of
the burden of a heavy wallet."
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118. Stunt Bears, will you
break it down for them?
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119. Huh?
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120. What now?
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121. I'm not in this picture!
Why did he tag me?
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122. Dude, this meme's
five years old.
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123. Another cat video?
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124. That's it, I'm un-friending him!
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125. Ooh, talk like a pirate day's
coming up.
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126. I'll send Sonic a reminder.
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127. Ahoy, matey!
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128. What? Sonic un-friended me?
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129. I'm sure it was
a misunderstanding.
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130. I'll send him
another friend request.
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131. We'll be LOLing about this
later.
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132. Rejected?
Two can play at this game.
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133. I'll create
my own social network,
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134. with no Sonics allowed!
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135. Brainstorming time!
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136. What does a successful
social media site need?
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137. Uh, pictures of your lunch?
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138. Easy shareability
of clickbait articles?
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139. That's good. That's good.
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140. How about: A way to force people
to look at baby pictures!
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141. Might I also suggest:
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142. The ability to give
a minimum of acknowledgement
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143. to someone without actually
writing anything?
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144. I like that.
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145. I'll call it "winking!"
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146. That'll be great
for my social media site.
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147. Now I just need to get
the right buzz going...
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148. Oh, Sonic.
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149. Didn't see you there.
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150. I un-friended you
from my peripheral vision.
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151. Still mad, Eggbutt?
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152. If you didn't send me pictures
every eight seconds,
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153. none of this would've happened.
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154. Well excuse me for thinking
you'd appreciate it.
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155. Now, I have
someone I need to speak with.
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156. Oh!
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157. What's up, gal pal?
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158. I've got one word for you!
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159. Is it "Goodbye?"
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160. No! It's "Scrambler!"
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161. My new social networking site.
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162. It's got
a super simple interface,
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163. easy navigation, targeted ads
based on your personal data...
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164. Pass.
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165. Well, so much for Scrambler.
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166. And nobody even got to use it.
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167. Did you say there are no users?
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168. That sounds uber exclusive!
I'm in.
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169. And so are 3,000
of my closest friends.
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170. Everything's coming up Eggman!
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171. Woah!
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172. Hmm.
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173. Ames, what's going on
around here?
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174. We all signed up for Scrambler.
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175. It's a new social media site.
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176. Instead of talking to people,
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177. you fry a message
over to their Scrambler Pan.
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178. I hate it already.
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179. I'd better sign up too,
in case it's an evil scheme.
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180. Membership denied, loser!
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181. You're kidding me!
Eggman won't let me join!
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182. A cat with a bag on its head?
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183. What'll they think of next?
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184. Where is everybody?
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185. The game should've
started an hour ago!
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186. We're closed
for an exclusive event.
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187. Exclusive?
Everyone in town's in there.
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188. Sorry, you're not on the list.
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189. You need to RSVP on Scrambler.
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190. But I'm not on Scrambler.
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191. Get with the times, old man!
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192. Oh, come on!
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193. Okay,
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194. I get it. You're sore
because I un-friended you—
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195. Huh?
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196. What's wrong, Egghead?
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197. Oh, nothing.
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198. I just have no friends, is all.
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199. Everyone in the village
is your friend!
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200. They're just digital friends.
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201. I asked for a cup of sugar
on Scrambler.
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202. Not one friend responded.
Not one!
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203. They just winked at me.
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204. Know how condescending it feels
to have 67 people wink at you?
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205. 68.
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206. If you let me join Scrambler,
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207. I'll comment on all your posts.
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208. No matter how pointless
or factually inaccurate.
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209. Really?
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210. You'd do that?
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211. All right then,
welcome to Scrambler!
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212. This interface
is really intuitive.
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213. You like it?
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214. Heck yeah, I do!
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215. Unfriended!
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216. How does it feel
to be unfriended by your enemy?
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217. Not so good, huh?
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218. I feel like a million bucks!
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219. I'll unfriend everybody
who didn't bring me sugar!
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220. Then I'll delete
the whole Scrambler app!
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221. If I can't have
real live friends,
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222. at least I can have
real live enemies.
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