1. Grr!
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2. Breaking news! Villainy, like my
blood pressure, is on the rise!
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3. Criminals are scamming
our most simple-minded citizens.
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4. Hey! No, he's right.
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5. Blatantly disrespecting
posted traffic signage.
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6. And stealing candy
from even the ugliest of babies!
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7. Well, I never!
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8. Oh, and Sonic and Eggman are
in the midst of an epic battle
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9. with our very way of life
hanging in the balance,
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10. yadda yadda yadda.
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11. Swarm, my minions! Destroy
all the Fuzzy Puppy figurines!
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12. Why are you doing this?
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13. I thought you loved
Fuzzy Puppies.
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14. That's what makes this
bittersweet.
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15. The Fuzzy Puppy bubble burst.
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16. All my adorable figurines
have plummeted in value!
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17. But if I destroy
the remaining unsold stock,
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18. it'll artificially increase
the worth of my collection.
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19. Your economics are sound,
but your methods aren't.
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20. We're about to give you your
maximum sustainable yield
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21. of pain!
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22. Gentlemen, those evildoers are
driving the city to bankruptcy!
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23. We didn't rig that election
just to stand by and do nothing!
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24. And so, effective immediately,
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25. all evildoers
must obtain a permit
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26. if they wish
to continue performing
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27. - their nefarious deeds.
- Boo!
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28. Now, now, now, calm down.
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29. All you need to do is pay a fee
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30. and take
an evil-competency test.
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31. You have 60 minutes
to complete the exam.
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32. Make sure to fill the bubbles
with a number 2 pencil. Begin.
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33. A pencil? Nobody said anything
about pencils!
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34. - Uh! Excuse me!
- Shh!
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35. - Grr!
- Psst!
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36. - Lookin' for one of these?
- Thanks, buddy.
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37. - Twenty bucks.
- What?
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38. That's highway robbery!
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39. And you don't have
a permit for that.
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40. Shh!
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41. "Name". This is gonna be
easier than I thought.
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42. "Question one. If a train
full of innocent civilians
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43. is travelling west
at 60 miles per hour,
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44. and a missile is zooming east
at 115 miles per hour..."
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45. Pff! A schoolchild
could answer this!
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46. Just gotta factor in
wind resistance
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47. and terminal velocity,
curvature of the planet...
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48. How many people are on it?
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49. That's a variable,
so I gotta solve for x.
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50. Got it! One down, 99 to go!
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51. Ten-second warning.
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52. - Sweet chipotle! I passed!
- Me too!
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53. All right, fellow accredited
villains, lunch is on me!
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54. I know a great
vending machine we can topple.
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55. I failed? I'll burn
this building to the ground!
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56. Not without your permit
you won't.
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57. Fine. I'll retake the test,
then burn it to the ground!
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58. According to section three
of the new ordinance,
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59. you can't retake the test
for 90 days.
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60. But that's three months!
Wait. This is February...
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61. It's more than three months!
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62. Grr!
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63. Don't worry about it, Dr E.
You'll get it next time.
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64. I'll be your study buddy.
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65. We'll work together every day,
from dawn to dusk.
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66. These next three months
and several days
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67. will fly right by!
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68. As delightful as that sounds,
I have an idea
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69. that won't make me wanna
jump headfirst off MegaBot.
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70. I can't take the that test
again, but you can.
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71. I'm flattered,
but I don't test well.
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72. - I'm more street smart.
- Not you. The other dimwit!
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73. Orbot will pass the exam,
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74. thus becoming the official
evildoer in the household.
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75. Meanwhile, I'll be pulling
the strings behind the scenes,
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76. - as the puppet master!
- But how can I pass the test?
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77. I don't know the first thing
about being evil.
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78. Whaddaya mean?
You learned from me!
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79. Uh, perhaps I'll do
a little research on my own.
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80. If I want to be prepared
for tomorrow's exam,
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81. I'll need to download
an evil text book
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82. directly into my memory.
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83. There. Now evil courses
through my very circuits.
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84. And I like it!
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85. - I did it! A perfect score!
- Don't take all the credit.
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86. 'Cause of me
you knew to bring pencils!
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87. That's half the battle!
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88. Now come on, puppet boy,
we've got some schemes to hatch.
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89. The message boards
are all buzzing about
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90. that two-tailed goober having
a weather-controlling invention.
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91. So here's the plan. You're gonna
blow a hole in his wall,
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92. then send in
a pack of robot minions.
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93. I said, "Aim for the wall",
you blunderbot!
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94. What was that?
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95. What the heck is he doing?
This isn't the plan.
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96. - Here it is.
- OK,
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97. you did it a little differently,
but that's all right.
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98. Don't worry.
You'll get the hang of it.
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99. I think he did pretty good.
And not a single casualty!
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100. Grr!
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101. Just in case egg salad
wasn't enough of a mood killer,
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102. let's send in a swarm
of ant bots!
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103. I have a superior idea.
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104. Ah! Rain!
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105. Wow! Great plan, boss!
And you did good too, Doc.
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106. Grr!
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107. Grr!
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108. We gotta talk. You see, puppet
mastering's a two-way street.
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109. Fascinating.
Say, do you remember
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110. your Fuzzy Puppy warehouse
failure from a few days ago?
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111. That's exactly
what I'm talking about.
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112. You're not ready to pull off
something like that.
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113. Oh, that's strange,
because I've already done it.
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114. Rather than destroy
the warehouse,
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115. I purchased the entire surplus
supply of figurines
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116. at deep discount
closeout prices.
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117. Then I posted a flyer
saying that a mystery buyer
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118. was willing to pay 1,000 bucks
for each Fuzzy Puppy figurine,
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119. thus creating
an artificial demand.
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120. At the same time, I took out
an ad in the newspaper,
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121. offering to sell the figures
for 500 bucks apiece.
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122. People came in droves.
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123. And they didn't buy just one,
they purchased three.
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124. One to play with,
one to keep mint in the box,
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125. and one to resell
to the mystery buyer,
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126. resulting in a 500-buck profit
on each sale,
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127. and at the same time raising
the value of each figurine
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128. in your collection
to 1,000 bucks!
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129. But... but where's
the senseless destruction?
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130. Where's the violence?
Where's the fun?
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131. I decided to do it
properly instead.
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132. You don't get to decide
on the evil plans. I do!
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133. What's the point
of puppet mastering
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134. if the puppet
doesn't do what you say?
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135. That's why
I'm cutting my strings.
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136. Say hello to the newest villain
in town, the evil Dr Orbot!
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137. Oh, so now anyone can
call themselves a doctor, eh?
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138. Hey, Dr O,
can I be your flunkie?
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139. I wanna be
on a winning team for once!
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140. For years I sat idly by
while the world laughed at me,
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141. calling me names
like lackey and paperweight.
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142. Well, who's laughing now?
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143. - You are, Dr Paperweight.
- Gah!
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144. After all that time working
under that moustachioed maroon,
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145. how is it you still don't
recognise a rhetorical question?
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146. I dunno.
I guess sometimes I just -
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147. That was also rhetorical,
you iron imbecile!
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148. If I wanted to be yelled at,
I'd have stuck with Eggman.
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149. Silence!
Now, onward to City Hall!
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150. Game over, Eggman!
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151. Get lost, Sonic.
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152. Wait, that's not Eggman!
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153. Don't you goodie-goodies have
a baby that requires saving?
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154. - No.
- My baby!
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155. Yeah, yeah, we'll get to it!
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156. We need to hold back.
He's just Orbot.
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157. I don't know.
Did you see his test scores?
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158. Pretty evil.
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159. - Yep.
- Yeah, pretty evil.
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160. Watch out!
Heat-seeking missiles!
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161. Minions, attack!
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162. This senseless destruction
is unacceptable!
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163. Oh, wait, you have a permit.
Carry on.
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164. Aaah!
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165. The villain permits
have all been destroyed!
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166. Without the proper paperwork,
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167. I guess this whole evil-permit
law is null and void.
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168. Success!
My plan worked perfectly!
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169. Your plan?
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170. I knew power
would go to your head
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171. and I needed
those records destroyed.
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172. Oh, man,
I puppet-mastered you so hard!
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173. Well played, but you haven't
seen the last of evil Dr Orbot!
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174. - Come, you incompetent ingot.
- You know,
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175. I really prefer spineless stooge
Orbot to bossy jerkface Orbot.
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176. - Who's up for charades?
- Oh, me, me!
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177. I gotta say, Eggman, that was
one convoluted evil plan.
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178. I didn't have a plan!
All that stuff just happened.
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179. The evil genius part
was taking credit for it all.
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180. So long, suckers!
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181. Oh!
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182. I believe this is yours.
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