1. With this ring I thee wed
With all my worldly goods I thee endow…
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2. Nell.
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3. Nell.
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4. What? Fucking…
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5. I need a favor.
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6. It's illegal and weird,
and you can't ask me any questions.
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7. Let me get dressed.
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8. With this ring I thee wed
With all my worldly goods I thee endow
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9. To love and to cherish
According to God's holy ordinance
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10. You have declared your consent
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11. May the Lord fill you both
With blessings
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12. From this day forward
For better, for worse
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13. Until death do us part
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14. Rachel?
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15. You have declared your consent
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16. May the Lord fill you both
With blessings
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17. From this day forward
For better, for worse
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18. Until death do us part
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19. With this ring I thee wed
With all my worldly goods…
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20. The county clerk?
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21. I assumed I was helping you run away
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22. or fake your own death
or something interesting.
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23. I said no questions, please.
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24. You didn't say please.
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25. It's a Saturday. It's closed.
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26. Well, I have a key.
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27. Why do you have a key?
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28. I can't believe we're doing this.
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29. After you.
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30. Do you wanna get arrested?
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31. There are easier ways
to leave someone at the altar.
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32. Like just leaving.
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33. Uh…
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34. So, like I said,
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35. I'm going to die tomorrow
unless Nicky is my soulmate,
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36. and right now I'm not so sure about that.
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37. So I realized that if the curse spread
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38. to my great-great-great grandmother
over 100 years ago,
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39. my bloodline would've died out
after two generations,
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40. but it didn't because I'm here,
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41. which means that some of them survived,
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42. some of them found their soulmates
and married them,
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43. or… …I don't know, found another way.
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44. Okay, so, what?
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45. I need to find out how.
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46. If we can figure out
who my mom's parents were,
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47. then we can track the curse back and…
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48. Now I have a key.
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49. It's still breaking and entering
if you steal a key.
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50. Portia's gonna kill us, you know,
if we're late for the bachelorette party.
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51. - Do you wanna know the theme?
- Uh, I'm sure I don't.
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52. I should have her cancel the stripper.
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53. God, please tell me you're kidding.
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54. I'm kidding.
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55. Nothing could make her cancel
the stripper.
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56. Fuck.
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57. Okay, first we need to find
my parents' marriage license.
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58. Uh, court, court, court, court, court.
Deaths, deaths. Births.
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59. Marriages.
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60. Uh, Alexandra Harkin and Jay Holman.
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61. They were married January 13th, 1997.
This is 2013…
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62. There are literally tens of thousands
of documents in here.
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63. Well, better get to work
unless you want to miss the stripper.
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64. She will seriously kill us.
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65. Just tell her
we're getting manicures or something.
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66. - Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
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67. All right.
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68. Rachel?
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69. Uh…
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70. Hey, Dad.
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71. What are you doing?
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72. - Trapping foxes.
- Oh.
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73. I don't think there's any in here.
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74. I am glad to see that your sense of humor
has not run off with your fiancée.
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75. She left? Where…
do you know where she went?
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76. Nope. She didn't have much with her,
so I… I think she plans on coming back.
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77. That's great, Dad. Thank you.
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78. Very comforting.
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79. Say, that was a really interesting speech
she made last night.
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80. I don't want to talk about it, okay?
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81. I fucked up, and I'm trying to fix it.
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82. Mmm. At least she's with Nellie.
Nellie will talk some sense into her.
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83. Oh, you think my ex-girlfriend
is gonna convince my fiancée
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84. that I'm not a lying piece of shit?
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85. What if there's someone else
who's 5% more compatible for me
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86. and someone else
who's 5% more compatible for him?
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87. How would either of us ever know that?
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88. I mean, I guess I would know
if I fucking die at the altar.
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89. I think you're overcomplicating it.
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90. Oh. Okay, then, simplify it, please.
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91. No, look, I know— I just mean
that it's all subjective, isn't it?
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92. There are no signs from the universe.
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93. It's just you taking something
that happened
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94. and then deciding which details
are important and which ones aren't
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95. and then deciding what it means.
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96. There's no cosmic assurance
that your marriage is gonna work out.
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97. Come on, come on.
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98. Go change your clothes. I wanna get
the traps set before it gets too late.
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99. Oh, you… you want me to come with you?
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100. Of course! You used to love fox trapping.
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101. I don't know if I loved it.
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102. Besides, it's… it's great
to get out in nature.
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103. It was good for me
when I was in the "woods," as it were.
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104. Right. Uh, you know, Dad, nowadays,
when you upset the person you love,
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105. you don't disappear on a hunting trip.
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106. You talk it out.
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107. The person
you are trying to reach is unavailable.
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108. You know, son, something I've learned
in my storied years of marriage
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109. is that you can't talk it out
if she doesn't answer the phone.
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110. Get your shit.
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111. - Hey. Happy bachelor party.
- Oh, you're coming.
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112. Hey, look at this!
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113. The Cunningham men all together again.
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114. - I'm sorry, Dad. I can't do this with him.
- Come on.
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115. What you did yesterday was fucked-up.
You ruined my wedding.
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116. That's dramatic. I was trying to help her.
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117. By making her second-guess
our relationship
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118. two days before we get married? Huge help.
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119. - I didn't make her do anything.
- Come on.
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120. I was trying to open her eyes
so she could judge
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121. if you're her true soulmate or not.
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122. No one asked you to do that.
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123. It's a matter of life or death.
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124. Dad, maybe this isn't
the best time for this.
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125. You used to love this part,
laying the traps.
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126. Yeah, I mean the thing where you hold us
hostage in the woods to bond,
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127. and we all just end up miserable and cold.
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128. We have to figure out some real shit.
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129. Wanna talk about real shit?
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130. This is the end of how things are.
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131. Once your mother is gone,
everything is going to change.
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132. We follow her rules.
She is what holds us together.
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133. Soon, we're gonna have a decision to make.
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134. Let each other go
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135. or find a new reason to stick together.
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136. But yeah, you're full-grown men.
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137. I can't make this decision for you.
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138. Just get over yourselves.
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139. Wait.
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140. Kathy Harkin.
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141. Kathy Harkin, Mark Ellis.
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142. Married August 22nd, 1997.
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143. Who were they?
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144. I don't know. Probably some relatives.
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145. Wait.
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146. That's weird.
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147. Why would there be other people
in my family that got married here?
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148. Mmm… Maybe because your family
are originally from here too.
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149. Or
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150. this place is like an evil death trap
meant to bring us here and kill us all.
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151. Or it's just a coincidence.
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152. Ah!
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153. Hello! Here's a death certificate.
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154. Mmm?
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155. Death certificate, Kathy Harkin.
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156. Wait. Uh, August 22nd.
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157. Oh God.
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158. Well, what… what does that mean?
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159. She died the same day she got married.
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160. That's not a coincidence.
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161. Okay.
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162. We should start looking for birth
and death certificates too.
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163. There may be more of them.
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164. And maybe we can make,
like, a… like, a family tree.
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165. Okay.
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166. Here's your parents.
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167. And here's another death.
It's Roger Harkin.
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168. - October 9th, 1941.
- Great.
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169. - Wait, Roger Harkin. I just saw this. Uh…
- Mm-hmm.
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170. Ah. Roger Harkin. Okay.
Roger Harkin. Roger Harkin. Roger Harkin.
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171. Roger Harkin, cause of death… hemorrhage.
Just like my mom.
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172. He was married October 9th.
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173. Died October 9th, 1941.
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174. Dad, he's—
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175. Ten years sober, Dad.
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176. Right.
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177. Sorry.
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178. It's okay.
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179. Well, now I gotta piss.
You keep an eye out.
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180. You should've told me about Mom.
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181. Like, months ago.
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182. I tried.
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183. But you know
how Mom is so protective of you.
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184. You could've told me anyway.
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185. Yeah, like you'd betray Mom's wishes.
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186. I'm sick of this family
treating me like a child.
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187. Yeah.
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188. It's fucking with me.
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189. Well, you have to admit
you do have trouble accepting things.
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190. You can't accept imperfection.
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191. - You always have to overdo shit.
- Okay.
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192. You give up when you know
something won't work out in your favor.
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193. It's true. I've known you my whole life.
You always have to have a perfect story.
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194. The… the perfect meet-cute
for your perfect love story.
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195. Like you didn't embellish
your story either.
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196. Well, she was my friend first.
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197. She was our friend!
I'm not fighting with you about this.
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198. - You brought it up.
- You brought it up!
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199. The problem is that you contextualize
every little thing around yourself.
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200. I didn't marry your ex-girlfriend.
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201. I married the woman I was in love with
since I was 21.
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202. You were not in love with her back then.
You say that to make it sound like…
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203. - It was obvious.
- …I stole something from you.
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204. - You were mean to her.
- Because I was in love with her.
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205. I couldn't make your wedding
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206. because I was doing something good
for someone who needed it.
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207. But you only did it
because it's a good story.
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208. That's not true.
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209. It's true.
You're drawn to stories, not people.
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210. You could've just asked for her number
and then still flown to my wedding.
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211. But no, you just had to do
some big, forced romantic gesture.
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212. Fuck off. You weren't there.
It was the right thing to do and—
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213. I'm not talking to you about this.
We're sitting in silence now.
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214. It's not your fault.
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215. It's… it's not your fault, by the way.
It's, um… it's Mom and Dad's.
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216. They, um… they fed you
this stuff about perfection,
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217. perfect relationship,
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218. soulmate shit.
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219. They hid so much from all three of us.
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220. But mostly you.
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221. Just be careful. I don't want you
to ruin everything like you usually do.
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222. You ruined everything last night.
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223. I had to make sure
she understood the whole story, man.
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224. She was staking her belief on a lie.
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225. Okay, I know. I'm fixing it.
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226. You have to get her to believe
you're her soulmate.
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227. It's the only chance she might live.
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228. Jesus Christ, I get it.
I said I didn't wanna talk anymore.
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229. And I'm definitely not taking
relationship advice from you.
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230. I thought we weren't talking.
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231. You and Nellie are like fucking kids
playing tennis.
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232. At least me and Nellie are honest
with each other.
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233. You guys are brutally honest.
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234. That's not better than
protecting the person you love.
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235. Oh my God. That's what I'm saying.
That's… that's what Mom and Dad did to us.
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236. Don't do that to her. Be fucking honest.
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237. Rachel and I have a great relationship.
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238. I don't need to defend
my relationship to you.
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239. Then why are you defending it?
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240. "Tennis."
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241. Fuck off.
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242. - Holy shit. Fox. There's a fox.
- What? Yell for Dad.
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243. What do I yell again? Hooty-hoo?
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244. - Whoop-de-woo?
- Whoop-de-woo.
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245. It's hooty-hoo, you idiots.
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246. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
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247. Nicky, that's your set.
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248. You do the honors.
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249. Safety's on.
Keep it on till you get down the hill.
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250. - You're all right. You're all right.
- Okay.
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251. Fuck.
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252. Fuck.
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253. Here's you.
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254. Here's your birth certificate.
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255. Oh, thank you.
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256. Okay, so it looks like
the curse first spread to my bloodline
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257. with Marianne and Thomas Harkin.
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258. And it looks like they had three kids.
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259. Two of them had
their own kids out of wedlock,
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260. and one of them got married.
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261. That's Carrie Harkin.
Married April 27th, 1870.
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262. Declared dead April 27th, 1870.
Hemorrhage.
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263. And, uh, Virginia Harkin.
Married November 1st, 1947.
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264. And also dead November 1st, 1947.
Hemorrhage.
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265. But the curse spreads
if you don't get married?
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266. Only if you've accepted a proposal.
Otherwise, it has no one… to spread to.
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267. I guess these people, all of them,
must have known about the curse
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268. and just decided to avoid marriage.
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269. Like my… my grandmother… Audrey.
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270. Audrey, she… she had my mom
out of wedlock, right,
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271. so she obviously knew not to get engaged.
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272. But her sister, Lori…
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273. …wed February 10th and died February 10th.
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274. Mm.
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275. And it's the same with…
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276. …Kathy and Roger
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277. and Virginia and fucking Carrie.
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278. Dead, dead, dead, dead,
dead, dead, dead, dead, dead.
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279. All of them fucking dead
on their wedding day.
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280. And it goes all the way down…
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281. …to me.
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282. Tomorrow.
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283. - This… this isn't right.
- Huh?
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284. They all have the same witness signature.
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285. - It's not possible.
- Yeah.
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286. - None of this is possible, and yet—
- No. No.
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287. He'd have to be
at least, what, like… 200 years old.
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288. Yeah. Yes.
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289. He is the one
who spread the curse to my bloodline
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290. because he didn't marry his fiancée,
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291. and now he has to witness
all of the cursed weddings
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292. as a punishment or something.
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293. How'd you know all that?
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294. He told me.
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295. - The 200-year-old man told you that?
- Yes.
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296. Yes.
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297. Do you believe me now?
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298. Do you believe me now?
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299. Oh fuck.
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300. Dad, I think we should call it.
We're never gonna find this thing.
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301. - It's only got three legs.
- It's gonna get dark soon.
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302. Keep your voices down.
You're gonna scare it.
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303. Scare it? It chewed off its own foot.
It's fucking petrified.
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304. It's gonna run
till its heart stops beating.
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305. Hey, what's the plan?
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306. Spend all night looking for it,
only to help nature along?
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307. What? Letting it slowly bleed to death
is better for you?
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308. What if you just ran?
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309. Fuck all of this. Sorry, Nicky.
Go home. Never look back.
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310. Yeah, if I did that, the curse
would just spread to his bloodline.
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311. Yeah, but what does that mean exactly?
Nicky would have the curse?
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312. I think it means
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313. he would have to deal with this shit
following him and his future offspring
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314. for the rest of their lives, so…
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315. But
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316. not not an option.
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317. He doesn't deserve this.
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318. You don't either.
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319. But I've already got it, so…
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320. I think the only way out
is down the aisle.
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321. I live or die, and that's it.
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322. That's it.
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323. How do you smoke that all the time
and not get paranoid?
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324. I do get paranoid.
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325. Hmm?
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326. And, just to be sure,
you really believe the immortal man?
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327. Yeah. Everything he said was true.
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328. Shit.
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329. Shit.
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330. Shit.
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331. Shit.
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332. Shit!
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333. That little bastard could be anywhere.
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334. - Shit!
- Well?
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335. We split up.
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336. Great. I'll go see
if he wandered back to the house.
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337. Good luck with the hunt. Nicky?
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338. No?
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339. Okay. Make sure to come to my room after
so you can tell me
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340. how you found the fox
and sewed its paw back on,
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341. and then the fox looked you in the eye
and said,
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342. "Thank you so much, Nicky,
for saving my life. You're my hero."
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343. Dad.
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344. Love these bonding trips with you.
We didn't get to bond much, though,
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345. so… I'll give you guys the scoop.
Nellie and I are getting divorced.
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346. - What?
- Yeah.
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347. - Jules.
- What? You signed papers?
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348. Not yet.
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349. So help me God,
you had better not tell your mother this.
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350. Of course not.
God forbid anyone's honest around here.
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351. Enjoy your night.
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352. Praying for your triumphant victory.
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353. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
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354. Arlene Harkin, yeah?
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355. Born, 1900.
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356. Married, 1922.
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357. We don't have a death for her.
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358. Well, she must be dead now.
They're all dead.
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359. Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead.
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360. Sort of looks like a toe on the ceiling.
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361. If you squint.
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362. Look.
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363. She died in 1979.
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364. So she was married for… 57 years.
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365. What?
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366. - What the fuck?
- Hey!
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367. Wait, wait, wait. Uh…
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368. How did she do it?
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369. I don't know,
but there's hope, isn't there?
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370. We gotta talk to her.
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371. Yes, but she's dead.
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372. We gotta talk to her.
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373. She's dead.
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374. We have to talk to her.
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375. The wedding cake is not all icing
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376. And loving, tender whispers
In the dark
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377. One slice is concern for your dreams
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378. 'Fraid they won't come true
And break your heart
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379. Another slice is feedin' kids
And wipin' noses
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380. Cryin' when the doorbell rings
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381. And there are roses
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382. Every woman knows a lot of give-and-take
Comes with the wedding cake
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383. - All right.
- Oh…
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384. You get changed. I'll get Portia on board,
and I'll meet you in the sunken room.
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385. Play nice, or she won't help us.
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386. Fuck! Jesus, Portia.
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387. You're late, asshole.
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388. - I'm sorry—
- What were you two doing all day?
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389. Eating out everyone at the nail salon?
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390. Oh.
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391. These look really good. I hope you tipped
the blind child who did them.
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392. I'm sorry—
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393. I'm an honest person, Rachel.
You can be honest with me.
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394. There's a lot of bad energy
coming from you,
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395. and I think you understand
how important this wedding is
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396. to my brother, my mom,
and the rest of our family.
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397. Do you?
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398. Hmm. Nellie told me all that freak shit
you said last night is true.
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399. And I don't even care
if you're carrying a blood-evil curse.
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400. Because, regardless, my brother loves you,
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401. and I will not let you bail
on this wedding.
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402. I was practically left at the altar,
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403. so then I married some random guy
in Las Vegas. Don't tell my parents.
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404. And I will not let that happen to Nicky.
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405. Are you gonna break my brother's heart
and crush my mother's dreams? Be honest.
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406. Good.
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407. Now, will it kill you to play
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408. one fun, normal, sexy
bachelorette party game that I planned
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409. before everything is ruined again
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410. because of your insistence on being
a gothic nightmare?
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411. It will kill you?
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412. Rachel.
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413. I don't say this lightly.
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414. You're really, really, really lucky
to have me.
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415. Because I know how to summon the dead.
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416. Mm?
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417. Mmm.
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418. We cleanse this space
to ward off evil spirits.
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419. Evil
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420. is not welcome here.
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421. We are gathered here
on Rachel's final night of freedom
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422. to contact…
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423. Who?
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424. My great-aunt.
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425. Right. For marital advice
from the great beyond.
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426. Light this candle with your left hand,
the hand connecting you to light.
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427. Yes. And then, at the same time—
Copy !req
428. Okay. And then, at the same time,
with your right hand,
Copy !req
429. touch a belonging of the deceased.
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430. Right hand towards darkness.
Copy !req
431. This establishes your connection,
and then you'll ask your questions.
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432. Arlene Harkin.
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433. I'm coming to you to ask for advice
the day before my wedding.
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434. I need to know how you knew for certain
that your husband, David, was the one.
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435. Now everyone put your hands in.
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436. Um…
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437. Maybe ask in a different way.
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438. - What do you mean, a different way?
- Rachel.
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439. Okay. Arlene, if you're there,
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440. please tell me how you survived.
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441. Maybe just start
with something less intense.
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442. Oh my God! It moved!
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443. - I thought you'd done this before!
- It never worked before!
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444. - What the fuck?
- Okay. What do I do now?
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445. - You talk to her.
- Okay. Uh, Arlene…
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446. Arlene.
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447. How did you survive your wedding day?
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448. Ask again.
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449. Arlene, how did you know
that David was your soulmate?
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450. Oh my God.
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451. Oh my God!
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452. Oh my God! Something hit me!
Something actually hit me!
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453. - Is it bad?
- What the fuck!
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454. No! Not at all!
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455. - No, it's totally fine.
- It'll heal one day.
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456. Now you have an excuse
to get that nose job.
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457. Oh, Nellie! Is there a scar?
Am I gonna have a face scar?
Copy !req
458. - Maybe.
- Fuck!
Copy !req
459. Nell.
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460. Oh fuck!
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461. I'm sorry, Dad. I…
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462. Dad?
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463. Hey.
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464. Dad?
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465. I need to take
some responsibility for last night.
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466. No, no. Last night was…
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467. It was completely my fault. I mean—
Copy !req
468. Listen.
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469. Sometimes it's okay to keep secrets
to protect the ones we love.
Copy !req
470. But your brother does have a point.
Copy !req
471. Oh.
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472. Yeah, you…
You heard us talking about that.
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473. It's true.
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474. Your mother always wanted to protect
you guys from the harsh realities.
Copy !req
475. But I see now what it did to you.
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476. It was irresponsible of us
to feed you this perfect story,
Copy !req
477. this high standard of what a marriage is.
Copy !req
478. So…
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479. Your mother is a good woman,
Copy !req
480. she is the love of my life,
and she loves you very much.
Copy !req
481. I know that.
Copy !req
482. But our relationship isn't
what you think it is, Nicky.
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483. I promised your mother
I would never tell you this,
Copy !req
484. but I see now that you need to know.
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485. Arlene, come back.
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486. Arlene.
Copy !req
487. What does living dead mean?
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488. What does that mean?
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489. Please
Copy !req
490. say it.
Copy !req
491. Oh.
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492. Jesus Christ!
Copy !req
493. - Trying that again after all that?
- Sorry. Is… is she okay?
Copy !req
494. Yeah, yeah. She's fine.
She's freaking out about the bruising,
Copy !req
495. but I gave her a Klonopin
and put her to bed.
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496. You brought one of these in here?
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497. It must've been Portia
who left one of those there.
Copy !req
498. I fucking hate it.
It's so creepy. I'm gonna…
Copy !req
499. Just one more time.
Copy !req
500. Are you here?
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501. I don't know what to do anymore.
Copy !req
502. I don't know what to do anymore.
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503. Something…
Copy !req
504. Something happened back there, and…
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505. You have to help me.
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506. I…
Copy !req
507. I don't know. Are…
Copy !req
508. …Nicky and I soulmates
Copy !req
509. because we can anticipate
each other's needs most of the time,
Copy !req
510. or… are we not soulmates because
Copy !req
511. he fucking… lied about the plane?
Copy !req
512. He lied about the fucking plane.
Copy !req
513. And…
Copy !req
514. My dad?
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515. He invited my dad.
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516. Fuck, it's like…
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517. Does he even know me?
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518. You said you need to believe
that he's your soulmate, right?
Copy !req
519. Yeah.
Copy !req
520. So what would make you believe it?
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521. I don't know. I don't know.
Copy !req
522. That's the problem.
Copy !req
523. Okay, so then I genuinely think
all you can do is decide
Copy !req
524. that he's your soulmate, or not,
and then take whatever comes.
Copy !req
525. Whatever comes is…
Copy !req
526. …death.
Copy !req
527. But, you know, if I was you,
I would trust the version of myself
Copy !req
528. that's loved him for three years
and agreed to marry him
Copy !req
529. and not the version who heard about
a soulmate curse five seconds ago.
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530. You must have felt seen by him
when you agreed to marry him, right?
Copy !req
531. Yeah?
Copy !req
532. Yeah, I think so.
Copy !req
533. Yes. This…
Copy !req
534. This curse… thing
Copy !req
535. has completely bent your reality.
Copy !req
536. It's… it's totally fucked-up.
Copy !req
537. It's made you doubt everything.
Copy !req
538. And the only way to stop doubt
Copy !req
539. is to make a decision,
and then you'll know.
Copy !req
540. So just
Copy !req
541. fuck this curse,
and go back to reality-reality.
Copy !req
542. - It's your wedding day tomorrow.
- Mmm.
Copy !req
543. Mmm?
Copy !req
544. - It's your bachelorette party tonight.
- Mmm.
Copy !req
545. Wake up tomorrow and decide. Cheers.
Copy !req
546. That's all I get?
Copy !req
547. Cheers.
Copy !req
548. Have to look in the eyes.
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549. I did. You were looking away.
Copy !req
550. - It's your last night of freedom.
- Mmm.
Copy !req
551. Do whatever you want with it.
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552. And you know, maybe keep it realistic.
We can't, like,
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553. I don't know…
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554. go skydiving.
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555. You know me better than that. I'd never.
What if the parachute didn't open?
Copy !req
556. - Mmm.
- Thank you. Thanks.
Copy !req
557. Jules and I are getting a divorce.
Copy !req
558. What?
Copy !req
559. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
560. Yeah.
Copy !req
561. Well, planning on it. He hasn't signed
the papers or anything yet.
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562. Uh…
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563. Don't tell anyone.
Copy !req
564. What?
Copy !req
565. Mom?
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566. Mom?
Copy !req
567. Mom.
Copy !req
568. Oh, hi, honey. Come.
Copy !req
569. Come here.
Copy !req
570. Um…
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571. I need to know if it's true, Mom.
Copy !req
572. Did you cheat on Dad when I was a kid?
Copy !req
573. Before I was born or something?
Copy !req
574. No.
Copy !req
575. No, honey. It…
Copy !req
576. It… it wasn't… It wasn't like that.
Copy !req
577. Who was it?
Copy !req
578. It wasn't, uh,
Copy !req
579. some cheap thing.
Copy !req
580. I met your dad and Beau
around the same time.
Copy !req
581. I loved them… both.
Copy !req
582. I chose your dad. I… I don't regret that.
Copy !req
583. And then what, you just…
you went back on your word or…
Copy !req
584. I loved Beau too.
Copy !req
585. I don't give a shit about Beau!
Why didn't you tell me?
Copy !req
586. Because it's none
of your fucking business.
Copy !req
587. You let me believe that it's possible
to have a… a 30-year, enduring marriage
Copy !req
588. where you're devoted to one person.
Copy !req
589. But isn't that wonderful? Isn't that
wonderful that you got to believe that?
Copy !req
590. Not if it's not true.
Copy !req
591. It is true. This doesn't change anything.
Copy !req
592. It changes everything that I fucking…
Copy !req
593. What else?
What else are you… are you hiding from me?
Copy !req
594. I'm not… I'm not gonna let you
take this to the grave. I…
Copy !req
595. I don't care about being protected.
Copy !req
596. You… you tell me right now,
everything you've been protecting me from.
Copy !req
597. Mom.
Copy !req
598. Mom.
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599. Mom?
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600. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom.
Copy !req
601. - Fuck!
- Oh! What's that?
Copy !req
602. You called me here, didn't you?
Copy !req
603. - Let go!
- What the fuck are you doing?
Copy !req
604. Fuck!
Copy !req
605. - Something living. Something dead.
- Portia, stop!
Copy !req
606. Something stolen.
Copy !req
607. Something red.
Copy !req
608. I took my troubles down to Madam Ruth
Copy !req
609. You know that gypsy
With the gold-capped tooth
Copy !req
610. She's got a pad down…
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611. What the fuck did you do to me?
Copy !req
612. Sellin' little bottles
Of Love Potion No. 9
Copy !req
613. I told her
That I was a flop with chicks
Copy !req
614. I'd been that way since 1956
Copy !req
615. She looked at my palm
She made a magic sign
Copy !req
616. She said, "Now, what you need is
Love Potion No. 9"
Copy !req
617. She bent down and turned around
And gave me a wink
Copy !req
618. She said, "I'm gonna mix it up
Right here in the sink"
Copy !req
619. It smelled like turpentine
It looked like Indian ink
Copy !req
620. I held my nose, I closed my eyes
Copy !req
621. I took a drink
Copy !req
622. I didn't know if it was day or night
Copy !req
623. I started kissin' everything in sight
Copy !req
624. But when I kissed a cop
Down at 34th and Vine
Copy !req
625. He broke my little bottle
Of Love Potion No. 9
Copy !req
626. I held my nose, I closed my eyes
Copy !req
627. I took a drink
Copy !req
628. I didn't know if it was day or night
Copy !req
629. I started kissin' everything in sight
Copy !req
630. But when I kissed a cop
Down at 34th and Vine
Copy !req
631. He broke my little bottle
Of Love Potion No. 9
Copy !req
632. Love Potion No. 9
Copy !req