Something Very Bad Is Going to Happen 1x2

1. What a pretty bride

2. You'll be

3. On the day you marry me

4. 'Cause it's plain to see

5. Very plain to see

6. What a pretty bride

7. You'll be

8. Well, we're very young

9. I know…

10. I can't wait to see

11. I just want to say a few words

12. to introduce this week celebrating your love.

13. And I'm so honored that you two chose to get married here

14. at Somerhouse,

15. as my sisters and I did before you.

16. And I'm thrilled to pass the tradition down to my sweet

17. and gentle son.

18. My baby boy.

19. You were born to be loved.

20. You have always been someone

21. who sees with his soul instead of his eyes.

22. Even when you were so tiny,

23. there were nights when the whole world was quiet,

24. and it was just you and me in the dark.

25. And you'd wake me up with this soft cry,

26. as if you were… you were calling me to you,

27. not because you needed something from me

28. but because you wanted to share something with me.

29. And I promised you then that I would always protect this you.

30. This sweet,

31. pure you.

32. So I want to tell you both something.

33. In a marriage,

34. you must promise

35. to regard the soul you see now

36. as the most important, holy thing.

37. Because time is an unstoppable… force.

38. And it will do whatever it can to destroy you.

39. And ultimately,

40. it will win.

41. So you sacrifice, yeah, you sacrifice superficial things,

42. uh, moods of the day,

43. petty preferences

44. in… in favor of the purest, deepest parts.

45. You accept and forgive each other's wrongdoings.

46. You don't let anything tear you apart,

47. no matter how gruesome.

48. That is what the love of your life is meant to do.

49. The love of your life.

50. So now a toast!

51. To my sweet baby, Nicky,

52. and his fiancée, Rachel, whom he's been hiding from us.

53. It is up to you now to protect the soul in front of you.

54. Marriage is a powerful merging of souls.

55. It's… it's like being sewn together.

56. And in… in the wrong union,

57. it can feel like being chained to a shipwreck

58. at the bottom of the ocean.

59. But in the right union,

60. it can feel like

61. immortality.

62. - Cheers to immortality. - Cheers.

63. - Cheers. - Cheers.

64. - That was beautiful, Mom. Wow. - Cheers. Cheers.

65. - Cheers, Mom. - Gorgeous.

66. What the fuck?

67. - And you don't know who this is from? - No. It was just with the mail.

68. Wow.

69. I've never gotten hate mail before.

70. - Maybe it's… from Jess? - No.

71. Didn't she try to light your apartment on fire?

72. No, she tried to light herself on fire in my apartment.

73. - Rachel. That… - What?

74. You have scary taste.

75. Okay, well, maybe… maybe it's from one of your exes.

76. - No. - Yeah.

77. Maybe like a specific ex who happens to also be here.

78. - I mean— - Come on! Nell?

79. Yeah, maybe. What if someone is fucking with me?

80. Your family doesn't even know me.

81. They know me, okay? And I talk about you with a certain fondness.

82. Almost as if I love you to death.

83. Yeah, but you're like a god to them.

84. I mean, the way that your mother talks about you. Perfect, perfect boy.

85. Why would she let her perfect boy marry some girl she's never met?

86. No one is "letting me" marry you. I want to marry you.

87. Nicky.

88. - And you want to marry me. - Uh…

89. Right? Isn't that all that matters?

90. Okay.

91. I mean, if anything, this note… Let me see it.

92. It's… it's about me not being good enough for you, okay?

93. Don't marry him. That's me. It's very anti-me.

94. Who cares what some anonymous asshole thinks?

95. Yeah, okay, fine, but I mean, I care what your mother thinks.

96. I mean, do I adequately protect your soul?

97. I don't know what that means.

98. It means, like, do I love you for who you are?

99. Or do I take you further from who you are until one day

100. you're like, "I don't recognize myself. I'm depressed. I'm gonna leave you."

101. Rachel. That's not gonna happen to us. We're not those people.

102. Holy shit, where's my dress?

103. What? It's in there.

104. It's not in there?

105. No.

106. I swear it was here this morning.

107. It was hanging right here next to your suit.

108. Um… Okay… Uh, did we leave it at Hannah and Chad's?

109. 'Cause we took it out to show it to them.

110. Do you remember bringing it in last night?

111. I… I think so. I… Uh… Maybe I left it in the car.

112. Maybe someone took it.

113. They wouldn't do that, I swear. No one is trying to sabotage our wedding.

114. Okay, well, I'm like 99% certain we didn't leave the dress.

115. Well, I can check the car again.

116. I just… I don't think anyone would take it.

117. Okay, then where is it?

118. I don't know. I don't know.

119. Hey… hey, same team, okay?

120. All right, give me a hug. Hey, okay?

121. I'll ask everyone if they've seen it, all right?

122. I'm gonna search the property, okay? We're gonna find it.

123. It's here somewhere. All right?

124. - It's here. We'll find it. - Okay.

125. We're gonna get to the bottom of this, okay?

126. And fuck this stupid thing, all right?

127. They didn't even RSVP.

128. I… I have no idea what she might have said

129. last night in front of Nicky's fiancée.

130. I mean, I think I got there in time before she said anything,

131. but I can't be certain.

132. I'm sorry. Don't you think that Nicky should know

133. so that he could prepare?

134. No!

135. That would completely screw up our plan. We're doing this for Victoria.

136. - I know. - It's what she wants.

137. She would be completely devastated if Nicky found out.

138. So you keep an eye on everyone for me, especially the fiancée.

139. I'll try. Just leave it with me, okay? I've got it.

140. Hi, Jude.

141. What are you looking at?

142. Blood.

143. There's blood. Look.

144. Blood, blood.

145. Blood. Blood, blood.

146. Oh fuck.

147. Is it yours?

148. Yeah, it was… it was just a nosebleed.

149. Oh fuck.

150. Oh, no, no. No, don't… don't say that word.

151. The Sorry Man's gonna kill you.

152. - Dad! - No. No, no, no.

153. Jude, Jude, Jude, Jude, Jude. Wait, wait, no.

154. I don't… I don't… I don't think that that's real.

155. How would you know?

156. I think that's a story that Aunt Portia was saying to scare us.

157. You don't know anything about what's going on here.

158. - Uh… What? - Dad!

159. Jude, stop yelling.

160. We don't yell in this house. You know that.

161. You wanna tell me why you were yelling?

162. Rachel summoned the Sorry Man with her blood. Now he's gonna kill her.

163. No, sorry. I… I had a nosebleed last night,

164. and I guess it got on the floor.

165. Sorry, Dad. I don't know how he knows—

166. I do not wanna hear it.

167. Good morning, Dr. Cunningham.

168. Wait.

169. You too. Wait.

170. Wait.

171. Look at me.

172. I don't ever want you to talk about that. Do you understand?

173. Do you understand?

174. What's gonna happen to her?

175. She's gonna marry Uncle Nicky.

176. Then what?

177. You don't need to worry about that, okay? Okay?

178. Hey, hey, hey. Hey. Wait. Jude, where are you going?

179. - We don't yell. - But you need to eat.

180. Nellie made me pancakes.

181. - What kind? - Chocolate chip.

182. Did Nicky tell you to call our dad Dr. Cunningham?

183. No, it's just, I don't know, polite, I guess.

184. You know, I'm… I'm Dr. Cunningham too.

185. Right.

186. Sorry. Do you want me to call you that?

187. Of course.

188. Okay.

189. Uh…

190. What's funny?

191. I… I can't tell if you're joking or not.

192. Hey, aren't brides supposed to wear white?

193. What do you mean, there's no dress?

194. Do you think it's possible that, like, maybe somebody grabbed it?

195. Rachel, how could you forget the wedding dress?

196. Portia.

197. It's all right, sweetheart. We'll… we'll figure something out.

198. Oh my God, you have to knock. We could have been naked.

199. All of you?

200. Ew, why are you picturing it?

201. - I'm not. - Did you find it?

202. I think we left it, Rach.

203. You… you left the dress in Chicago?

204. - It's not in Chicago. We had it. - I think we left it at Hannah and Chad's.

205. Who's Hannah and Chad?

206. They're the friends we stayed with in Cleveland.

207. - You have friends in Cleveland? - Did you call them and ask?

208. Yeah. So, they're at work, but there's a spare key at their house.

209. So I'm just gonna drive back.

210. - No, no, that's… insane. - Oh, it's so romantic.

211. - Isn't it an eight-hour drive? - You shouldn't drive alone.

212. - Why do you know how far it is? - I want to do it, okay? It's important.

213. It's not, though. It's really fine.

214. I mean, I can wear something else. It's not—

215. You need a wedding dress for your wedding, Rachel.

216. You can't wear that. It's funereal.

217. Yeah, well… I have something else I can wear.

218. I think it's romantic what he's doing, right? Aw…

219. - Okay. See you. - Okay. Are you sure?

220. What? Yeah, of course.

221. It's good. It'll give you a chance to get to know each other better.

222. Okay.

223. Why don't you try on my dress?

224. - That's a great idea! - Oh…

225. Oh my God, Mrs. Cunningham, that's so kind of you. I just…

226. Wow.

227. Why don't we just see if Nicky finds the dress,

228. and we can do the fitting tomorrow?

229. But there's no time tomorrow.

230. Tomorrow we've got setups to do. Friday's the rehearsal dinner.

231. Saturday's the bachelorette party. Sunday's the big day.

232. Today is the dress fitting.

233. I think it might fit you.

234. Hmm?

235. Yeah.

236. Okay, I'd love… Yeah, please. Thank you.

237. Goin' to the chapel And we're gonna get married

238. Goin' to the chapel

239. And we're gonna get married…

240. - Honey… - I think we should lose the train.

241. And the sleeves. I'm cutting off the sleeves.

242. Uh, are you sure?

243. It needs to come in at the waist.

244. My mother had a waist like that. Well, I actually used to have a waist like that.

245. Oh, Mom, stop. You look great.

246. Do you know what ruins a waist?

247. Put your hair up. Or do you want it down?

248. - Down. - No, up.

249. Having children.

250. Mom, would you rather have a tiny waist or me?

251. Well, you, of course, sweetheart. But it would be nice to have both.

252. Mom, you promised I could have Grandma Madeline's diamond bracelet.

253. - Oh, I… I don't need— - Portia. You can have it after.

254. Oh…

255. Never mind. It doesn't go.

256. Well, that's just lovely.

257. - Nell? - Mm-hmm.

258. I'm just noticing the necklace.

259. - Oh. - Oh, no. Wait, that's—

260. Do you think Aunt Norah will be mad? Didn't she love the train?

261. Well, it doesn't matter. It's not for her.

262. You're right. It's for us.

263. Mmm.

264. Now, this ring belonged to my great-grandmother, Eleanor.

265. - It's so pretty. - Yes.

266. You mean, instead of—

267. It's a little big,

268. but it will work if you don't… …talk with your hands so much.

269. Yeah, but that's… that's the ring that Nicky gave me.

270. And it's stunning.

271. That doesn't mean you have to wear it on your wedding day.

272. Sorry, but doesn't it—

273. It's common to honor the women in the family's lineage

274. when you get married, Rachel.

275. Okay. Sorry.

276. Hmm…

277. Uh.

278. Uh…

279. Yeah, something isn't right.

280. Sorry. I just… I really… I appreciate your enthusiasm.

281. I just don't know if all this feels a bit, like, not really necessary

282. if it's just, like, gonna be us, really, for the wedding.

283. Rachel, a hundred people are coming.

284. - A hundred people are coming? - No, no. It… it's 90-something, right?

285. Right, but it's family-only, like you guys wanted.

286. I thought family-only meant you guys and, like, maybe a couple grandparents.

287. You know how family is. Oh my God.

288. Oh, I completely forgot. You don't have a family.

289. I thought she had a father.

290. Well, I… We don't really talk. Um, a hundred people are—

291. Well, it's complicated, right?

292. Because if you invite Aunt Valerie, and you have to invite Aunt Valerie,

293. then you have to invite all four of her siblings and their spouses

294. and their kids, our cousins, so it's just… It's not possible

295. to keep it as small as you wanted, but it's still a small wedding.

296. Does Nicky know about this?

297. I don't keep track. Nellie?

298. - Oh, I don't know. - It's the lace.

299. It's always been too busy with the veil.

300. It's too busy.

301. We just need to find the perfect necklace.

302. Oh, um… Actually, I was gonna just wear the necklace that I had on,

303. because it has my mother's engagement ring on it.

304. Everything is going to be perfect, and you won't even notice

305. you don't have parents to give you away.

306. Don't worry.

307. Everything is going to be perfect.

308. - Let's open this! - Oh, no, I can do that.

309. - No, it's okay. I got it. - Portia, please!

310. - I don't need help! - Don't aim it at us.

311. - I'm not. - My God! Portia!

312. Ah, fuck!

313. Oh my God.

314. I'm so sorry.

315. Why are you sorry?

316. No, it's okay. I've got it. Don't. You'll get blood on the dress.

317. - Take a moment and breathe. - Nellie!

318. I don't think I can do this. I can't do this to her.

319. Yes, I know.

320. My great-grandmother

321. gave this to my grandmother on her wedding day.

322. She thought the pearls were fake.

323. Do you know the trick with pearls?

324. You rub them against your teeth.

325. And if they're smooth, they're fake.

326. And if they're rough like, uh, sandpaper,

327. they're real.

328. Of course, my… my grandmother, she had fake teeth, so she couldn't tell.

329. Her mother

330. was buried alive.

331. What? Uh, why?

332. It was an accident.

333. Maybe this…

334. …can be your something borrowed.

335. It's meant to be from… from the mother.

336. To ward off bad luck in a marriage.

337. I'm pretty sure pearls are bad luck for a wedding.

338. What about fake pearls?

339. You want me to rub this on my teeth?

340. Yeah.

341. They're real.

342. Must have been so, so difficult

343. going through adolescence without a mother.

344. Hmm.

345. A mother absorbs her children

346. and vice versa.

347. You look just right.

348. Thank you.

349. It's perfect.

350. Look at me, honey.

351. I'm so, so, s… so, so, so sorry.

352. What?

353. Because of what this will do to you both.

354. Mom? Mom!

355. Coming, honey.

356. - Hey, babe. How's it going? - Good, good.

357. Uh-oh.

358. Yeah. Uh…

359. Nicky, did you know that there's 100 people coming to the wedding?

360. What?

361. - Oh my… I told them family only. - Yeah.

362. Yeah, well, according to your sister, that's 100 people and…

363. - I'm sorry. - Something weird is going on.

364. Um, they put me in your mother's dress. They cut it up. They tailored it.

365. They gave me accessories like it was their plan all along.

366. It's like they… it's like they really want to have a wedding,

367. but they don't actually care who walks down the aisle into your arms

368. as long as someone does. Like there's this bride-shaped hole,

369. and they just need a body to fill it.

370. - I don't know why. It… But they… - Rachel…

371. They all keep bursting into tears, and it's fucking freaking me out.

372. They're… they're whispering about shit and… and crying,

373. and they're hiding something from us.

374. Hold on, hold on. What? Everyone's crying?

375. Yes, there's so much crying. They…

376. - What do you mean? - Your mother apologized to me.

377. She said, "Sorry for what this will do to you."

378. Like what? Like what… what is she talking about?

379. - Wait, she said that? - Yes!

380. - I have no idea. - Can you… can you… can you…

381. - Can you just come back here, please? - Yeah, sure. Wait, what about your dress?

382. I don't care about the dress. I never cared about the dress.

383. I'm in your mother's dress. I never wanted you to drive.

384. Nell and Portia and your mom… …wanted you to.

385. - Okay. Okay, okay. - Okay, are… can… are you turning around?

386. I'll turn around right now. I'm so sorry I left you there, okay? I'll be back soon.

387. - Okay. - Okay?

388. - Thank you. - Okay.

389. - I love you. - All right. Love you too.

390. No. I'm serious. What was she thinking?

391. - I don't understand. - She can't do that.

392. No, and…

393. She's gonna ruin it. I can tell. I knew from the minute I saw her.

394. And she wanted to wear that hideous necklace with Mom's dress.

395. That's not gonna work for me.

396. She's gonna do what she's told if she knows what's good for her.

397. Dr. Cunningham?

398. How are you?

399. What are you doing in her dress?

400. Oh, I, um…

401. I couldn't get it off.

402. Why are you in it at all?

403. Uh, 'cause Mrs. Cunningham told me to try it on.

404. They wanted to see if it fit me.

405. I'm sorry.

406. It… it wasn't my idea.

407. Take it off.

408. Okay.

409. I will.

410. Take it off.

411. Hi, this is Nicky Cunningham. I guess you missed me.

412. Please leave a message or text me.

413. Hi.

414. Hi.

415. Find anything good?

416. Sorry. Um…

417. I was just looking for my wedding dress.

418. Hmm.

419. You're cold.

420. Sorry?

421. Colder.

422. Warmer.

423. Warmer.

424. Warmer.

425. Warmer.

426. Warmer.

427. Colder.

428. Warmer.

429. Scalding hot.

430. Bingo.

431. Looks like a wedding dress to me.

432. It's not my dress. It's your mother's.

433. Oh.

434. You planning to stay in that for the next four days?

435. No.

436. I can't get out of it.

437. You want help?

438. Hold my banana.

439. I'll help you.

440. - Hi, this is Nicky Cunningham. - Fuck!

441. - I guess you missed me. - Fuck! Pick up!

442. Please leave a message or text me.

443. Hi, this is Nicky Cunningham.

444. I guess you missed me. Please leave a message or text me.

445. Hey, uh…

446. …look, I'm not trying to spiral.

447. I'm trying to be, like, good and normal here.

448. But, Nicky, there really is something going on. My dress is here somewhere.

449. I found the garment bag under the bed

450. and a fucking piece of my dress outside of Portia's room,

451. and someone stole my necklace,

452. and your brother's got a lethal injection in his room.

453. So I don't know, like, what that's for,

454. but if you're not back here soon, I'm running down the highway

455. until you find me, and we're driving all the way back to Chicago.

456. Okay, call me back. Bye.

457. It's so tragic, so who cares?

458. What's that sound?

459. Oh, she speaks.

460. - What sound? - That sound. It's… It was…

461. - It's been going all day. - What sound?

462. It's the… the neighbors. They're using their snowplow.

463. But it's been going all day.

464. And they've been using their snowplow all day?

465. Is there a problem?

466. I didn't hear a sound.

467. What the fuck?

468. Don't laugh.

469. Where's Boris?

470. Oh, he's resting. He hasn't been feeling well all day.

471. Aren't you gonna eat anything?

472. Not hungry?

473. She doesn't speak. She doesn't eat.

474. Don't worry, dear.

475. Mmm. Sorry. Nicky… Nicky's calling.

476. I'm just gonna… Sorry, I just… I'll take this. I'll be right back.

477. Hi.

478. No!

479. No! No! Wait!

480. Come back! Wait!

481. Wait!

482. Stop! Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

483. - Go, go! - What's going on? Tell me!

484. What's going on? What's going on?

485. Nicky, something totally fucked up is going on.

486. They don't want me to marry you. They want to, like,

487. sacrifice me to the fucking devil or something.

488. - I think your dad's the Sorry Man killer. - Wait, what?

489. And he is digging a grave out there. We just have to go right now, please.

490. - Hey, hey, hey. No, just hold on. - Please! Now!

491. - Nicky. You have to believe me. - Slow down.

492. - Okay. Okay. Yes. - Can we please just go?

493. - Okay, I'm with you, okay? I'm right here. - Please.

494. I'm catching up, all right? I just need to find out how this happened.

495. - Okay? I need to talk to them. - No.

496. - No, no. You have to believe me. - I need to figure out how this happened.

497. - Be right back. - Can we just go?

498. I'll leave the keys. If you want to drive away, drive.

499. - No, Nicky, fuck! - I'll be right back. I'll be right back.

500. - Okay? - Fuck!

501. Oh God.

502. Oh my God. Oh my God.

503. Oh my God.

504. What? No.

505. My wife is dying.

506. She has a very aggressive brain tumor.

507. Once we got the diagnosis,

508. we got radiation, a craniotomy, and then it came back.

509. So…

510. Then she decided she wanted to go on her own terms.

511. We have been planning her death for a few months now.

512. And then Nicky called

513. with the news of his engagement,

514. and he was so excited about having a wedding here.

515. And we…

516. …thought how beautiful that we could have one last

517. big family get-together, a celebration…

518. …before Victoria leaves us.

519. That's why the wedding needs to be big, Rachel.

520. It's her last party.

521. We were gonna tell you, Nicky.

522. Sweetheart.

523. You were so excited about your wedding and about your future, it just

524. wasn't the right time to tell you.

525. You know, it's just something they do.

526. - Protect baby Nicky from the hard stuff. - Julian. Julian…

527. - It doesn't matter. - I did what I could.

528. - When there's family… - But it is a death sentence.

529. Sooner or later, it's gonna turn me into someone I'm not,

530. and I don't want that to happen.

531. I don't want my children to see that.

532. I'm sorry this got out of hand.

533. No, I'm sorry. I'm… I feel

534. awful for fucking up your plan. I…

535. No, no, I think you're exactly what this family needs.

536. You'll keep us honest, right?

537. Mom.

538. - Jules. - Come on. Come here.

539. Oh, my sweet love. I'm so sorry.

540. I'm so sorry. Everything is gonna be okay.

541. Everything's gonna be perfect.

542. It's okay.

543. Hey. Um, I… I grabbed that for you.

544. I just didn't want it to get misplaced with everything.

545. Thank you.

546. Um…

547. There's just… there's just one thing I don't understand.

548. I found my wedding dress on this, like,

549. horrifying stick doll thing in the woods.

550. Is that, like… I don't know, like, a part of this?

551. Oh shit.

552. Aunt Portia said the Sorry Man kills brides and turns them inside out.

553. I only did it to protect Rachel.

554. I tricked him so he wouldn't hurt her.

555. Tell Rachel you're sorry for ruining her dress and scaring her.

556. Sorry, Rachel, for ruining your dress and scaring you.

557. It's okay.

558. Listen, buddy, the…

559. the Sorry Man isn't real.

560. It's… it's just… it's…

561. It's a story, uh, I made up when I was a kid like you

562. to scare Uncle Nicky and Aunt Portia.

563. No, but you believe it's real, Dad?

564. No.

565. No. I don't. I don't.

566. Um…

567. No one does.

568. It's not Grandma or Grandpa.

569. - Not… Nellie… - Mm-mm.

570. …or Nicky or Portia

571. or Rachel.

572. Mmm.

573. It's not real.

574. It's… it's just not real. It's… it's… it's not real.

575. Say it back to me.

576. The Sorry Man isn't real.

577. The Sorry Man isn't real.

578. - The Sorry Man isn't real. - The Sorry Man isn't real.

579. Rachel.

580. The Sorry Man isn't real.

581. The Sorry Man isn't real.

582. The Sorry Man isn't real.

583. The Sorry Man isn't real.

584. The Sorry Man isn't real.

585. The Sorry Man isn't real.

586. I'm

587. Sorry

588. - Yes, I am - Sorry

589. - Sorry - Yes, I am

590. If I turned you blue

591. Just know the thought was never true

592. And I won't ever forgive myself

593. Darling, know that

594. - I'm - Sorry

595. - Yes, I am - Sorry

596. - Sorry - Ooh, won't you take me back?

597. If I broke your heart

598. Just know I loved you from the start

599. And I won′t ever forgive myself

600. Darling, know that

601. - I'm - Sorry

602. - Yes, I am - Sorry

603. - Sorry - Ooh, won't you take me back?

604. - I'm so - Sorry

605. - I'm so sorry, baby - Sorry

606. I'm so sorry