1. Matt, Matt, check this out.Copy !req
2. - What?
- It's a magic microphone.Copy !req
3. Cordless microphone. What the hell
have you got that for?Copy !req
4. - It's fun. Let me interview you.
- I'd rather you didn't.Copy !req
5. Uh, Mr Berry, what brings you
to this corridor?Copy !req
6. Rich, I've got a cracking hangover
and an asshole like a blowlamp.Copy !req
7. The last thing I need right now is you.Copy !req
8. Mr Berry, is it true
that you recently caused a young ladyCopy !req
9. to lose her job because she has
one of those bumps on her tummy?Copy !req
10. Okay, moving right along.Copy !req
11. Mr Berry, is it true that you're
currently dating your sister,Copy !req
12. Halle Berry? Any comments?Copy !req
13. - Rich, I asked you nicely before.
- No, you didn't.Copy !req
14. - Please.
- Folks, Matt's underCopy !req
15. a lot of stress right now.Copy !req
16. He's had to give half his money away
to the bumpy ladyCopy !req
17. that he doesn't even know,
in order to buy little people's clothes.Copy !req
18. Enough!Copy !req
19. She trapped me! It's what all women do!Copy !req
20. Okay, Matt and Rich,
British Open commentary.Copy !req
21. Coming to you in five, four, three...Copy !req
22. I can't be in love if it's plasticCopy !req
23. To live on my own just seems tragicCopy !req
24. But we'll raise our swords high
when our day comesCopy !req
25. You thought it was gold
but it was bronzeCopy !req
26. So, get here in time
when our day comesCopy !req
27. You thought it was gold
but it was bronzeCopy !req
28. Hey, man, are you ready
to fucking party tonight or what?Copy !req
29. No, I can't. I have to go
to the Lord Mayor's Show with Irene.Copy !req
30. Why are you talking in my voice?Copy !req
31. Why are you talking in my voice?Copy !req
32. - How's that?
- Better.Copy !req
33. - Your mail, sir.
- Yeah, I'm male.Copy !req
34. - You're the best, Ken.
- Thank you, Master Rich.Copy !req
35. - You're mail, sir.
- Mmm.Copy !req
36. No cigarette smoke in here, Berry.
You know the rules.Copy !req
37. - Get fucked.
- Well, I never!Copy !req
38. Well, maybe you should
while it still works.Copy !req
39. What's the matter with you?Copy !req
40. Nothing. I'm as happy as a man
with tits in his hat.Copy !req
41. - Is that good?
- Very good.Copy !req
42. Hey, Matt, I got invited
to be on Mastermind.Copy !req
43. Yeah, me, too.Copy !req
44. You're not going, are you?Copy !req
45. Uh, no way. Are you going?Copy !req
46. Absolutely not.Copy !req
47. We are joined again
by Matt Berry from BedfordCopy !req
48. who works as a hangmanCopy !req
49. and answered two
out of a possible 20 questions correctlyCopy !req
50. on his specialised subject
of Alton Towers.Copy !req
51. Your general knowledge round starts now.Copy !req
52. Which American president
was assassinated in Dallas, Texas?Copy !req
53. Woodrow Wilson.Copy !req
54. Incorrect. Who is the current leader
of the Labour Party?Copy !req
55. - Nookie Bear.
- Incorrect.Copy !req
56. Which female novelist is reported
to have said,Copy !req
57. "Once a night keeps the curtains tight"?Copy !req
58. Zadie Smith.Copy !req
59. Correct. Which was the first black actor
ever to play Othello?Copy !req
60. - Morgan Freechild?
- Incorrect.Copy !req
61. Keith Deller
and the World Darts ChampionshipCopy !req
62. - of 1983...
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
63. You launched into that question
far too quickly.Copy !req
64. I didn't hear one word of it.
Could you repeat that please?Copy !req
65. I'm sorry. I'll reiterate.Copy !req
66. Which French author
won the Booker Prize in 1980Copy !req
67. with his book, Tricola?Copy !req
68. Um...Copy !req
69. Uh...Copy !req
70. I'm sorry?Copy !req
71. Uh, no, I'm sorry, it's probably
my French accent.Copy !req
72. - Uh, Jean Michel Jarre.
- Incorrect.Copy !req
73. Which American adult actress
broke the world gang bang recordCopy !req
74. in Denver, Mexico in 2004 with the...Copy !req
75. - I've started so I'll..
- I'd rather you didn't.Copy !req
76. Really? I was in the middle...Copy !req
77. No, I think I've answered
more than enough questions for one day.Copy !req
78. Oh, well, done.Copy !req
79. Okay, so how's a fellow get out
of this place?Copy !req
80. It's blacker than a coalminer's ass.Copy !req
81. Would you please remain seated,
Mr Berry? Someone will assist you.Copy !req
82. Get your hands off me. Get your hands...Copy !req
83. off me!Copy !req
84. Shit. Whisky!Copy !req
85. Good morning and afternoon.Copy !req
86. Welcome to the British Open,Copy !req
87. where golfers and golfing come togetherCopy !req
88. for golfing. Hey, clapping.Copy !req
89. Uh, Matt, this is a very difficult shot.
What do you think?Copy !req
90. I don't know anything about golf.Copy !req
91. Thanks.Copy !req
92. Uh, I'm getting something
from my earpiece.Copy !req
93. Uh, my neighbour's been kidnapped!Copy !req
94. Nice hat!Copy !req
95. Oi, off the green!Copy !req
96. - Fuck off.
- I said off the green.Copy !req
97. Yeah?Copy !req
98. Rot rot hubba hubba ding dong doCopy !req
99. Hubba hubba do all dayCopy !req
100. Lap lap lagga lagga ling long lagCopy !req
101. Everything went dark
Everybody!Copy !req
102. Rot rot hubba hubba ding dong doCopy !req
103. Hubba hubba do all dayCopy !req
104. Lap lap lagga lagga ling long lagCopy !req
105. Rich!Copy !req
106. Rich!Copy !req
107. - Rich!
- Ahh! Oh, uh...Copy !req
108. Um, Henry,Copy !req
109. I was going to sing your favourite song
this evening,Copy !req
110. but unfortunately I can't play
the piano.Copy !req
111. Lucky for you.Copy !req
112. First, I want to thank everyone
for turning out this evening.Copy !req
113. Especially Matt
and my beautiful date, Theresa.Copy !req
114. But most importantly,
I'd like to thank Henry,Copy !req
115. Club Member of the Year.Copy !req
116. But also Henry, Person of the Year.Copy !req
117. Henry, Person of the Year.Copy !req
118. Henry, Person of the Year.Copy !req
119. - Henry, Person of the Year.
- Oh, God.Copy !req
120. - Henry, Person of the Year.
- How embarrassing.Copy !req
121. - Henry, Person of the Year.
- Chap's lost his marbles.Copy !req
122. - His noggin's gone.
- Henry, Person of the Year.Copy !req
123. - It's alright, he's done this before.
- Henry, Person of the Year.Copy !req
124. - I say, Berry, what the hell's going on?
- Henry, Person of the Year.Copy !req
125. It's alright, he's just got stuck.Copy !req
126. - Henry, Person of the Year.
- Okay, let's drink.Copy !req
127. - Henry, Person of the Year.
- In time.Copy !req
128. Henry, Person of the Year.Copy !req
129. - Henry, Person of the Year.
- He could go on all day.Copy !req
130. Henry...Copy !req
131. Hello there, beautifulCopy !req
132. - Oh, hello.
- Piss off.Copy !req
133. I guess I needed a shorter lead.Copy !req
134. - There we are.
- Oh, thank you so much.Copy !req
135. You're such a gentlemen.Copy !req
136. Well, it has been said that I'm
a gentleman but never a gentle man.Copy !req
137. - Can I accompany you on your journey?
- Sure.Copy !req
138. I've got to get Scotty
back to my boyfriend and then...Copy !req
139. Fuck you!Copy !req
140. Seafood! Seafood!Copy !req
141. Seafood! Seafood!Copy !req
142. Cockles, lots of mussels,
lots of white ones for youCopy !req
143. Cockles, lots of mussels,
lots of white ones for youCopy !req
144. Right, now, that seafood lad's
been there for years.Copy !req
145. Okay, a word of caution.Copy !req
146. You eat any of that and you'll be
shitting through the eye of a needle.Copy !req
147. Now, we find ourselves at Whitechapel
at the year of our Lord, 1888.Copy !req
148. Ar hour ago, the body of a young,
unfortunate woman was foundCopy !req
149. right there on Buck's Row.Copy !req
150. "Nothing strange about that,"
I hear you say.Copy !req
151. Thing is, she'd been cut
from belly to gizzard.Copy !req
152. Right, I'm gonna take you down
to Hanbury StreetCopy !req
153. one week after the murder
we've just seen...Copy !req
154. Hold up, I'm buzzing.Copy !req
155. It's my agent.
You'll have to forgive me.Copy !req
156. Starlight Express! Fuck, yes!Copy !req
157. There you go, chief.Copy !req
158. The stage calls!Copy !req
159. Uh...Copy !req
160. Jack... the Ripper.Copy !req
161. Jack the Ripper, um, was a mean guy.Copy !req
162. Ungood, if you willCopy !req
163. In fact, he was so mean that
he not only killed his "viketims"...Copy !req
164. Oh, no, that wasn't enough.Copy !req
165. he had to steal their wallets
and briefcases as wellCopy !req
166. Prostitutes didn't carry briefcases
in those days.Copy !req
167. You are so fucking naive, little boy.Copy !req
168. These women weren't that sex word
that you said.Copy !req
169. They were actually
highly trained doctors.Copy !req
170. Now, you're probably wondering
who the identity of Jack Rippy is.Copy !req
171. And I shall tell you at this point.Copy !req
172. It's James Bond!Copy !req
173. The super-duper spy.Copy !req
174. That's gotta be bullshit.
Can I have my three quid back?Copy !req
175. Um, my neighbour's been kidnapped.Copy !req
176. Oh! Have a care, chief.Copy !req
177. Half-price seafood!Copy !req
178. Cockles, winkles, mussels. Half price.Copy !req
179. So, what do you use?Copy !req
180. Well, I use my girlfriend's Mac.Copy !req
181. But given a choice,
I'd sling it, I'd buy a PC any day.Copy !req
182. What's wrong with Macs?Copy !req
183. Well, they're aimed at kids and posers,
aren't they?Copy !req
184. You want a computer
that looks like a computer,Copy !req
185. not a fucking cigarette case.Copy !req
186. So, why would you say
something stupid like that?Copy !req
187. Because I don't like fucking Macs!Copy !req
188. What kind of computer
do you use, Rich?Copy !req
189. Oh, I use a Mac.Copy !req
190. They're much better for making
my squirrel movies.Copy !req
191. - Exactly.
- And you prefer the Mac, right?Copy !req
192. - Oh, yeah, like I said...
- Not you, you prick. The condemned chap.Copy !req
193. I've used both.Copy !req
194. You'll have to speak up, fellow.
I can't hear youCopy !req
195. with that white hood on.Copy !req
196. I've used both at work.Copy !req
197. But to be honest, if push came to shove
I'd never use a Mac.Copy !req
198. Not only do they look odd...Copy !req
199. "Not only do they look odd,
but they... Ooh, my neck hurts."Copy !req
200. - Henry, Person of the Year. Henry...
- Not only do they look odd,Copy !req
201. I don't think they're as versatile
as a PC.Copy !req
202. Fine if you're a teenager.Copy !req
203. But I hated being a teenager.Copy !req
204. Exactly.
I've always been a PC man myself.Copy !req
205. Henry, Person of the Year.
Henry, Person of the Year.Copy !req
206. Henry, Person of the Year.Copy !req
207. Listen, I know Rich hasn't
finished his toast,Copy !req
208. but, uh, why don't we pop upstairs?Copy !req
209. I've got a private room up there.Copy !req
210. I could show you my hard drive.Copy !req
211. Henry, Person of the Year. Henry...Copy !req
212. Well, I am Rich's date.Copy !req
213. Well, he won't care.Copy !req
214. We often sup from the same font.
It gives him something to talk about.Copy !req
215. And what doesn't kill you
makes you stronger.Copy !req
216. Person of the Year.
Henry, Person of the Year.Copy !req
217. - Henry, Person of the Year.
- I'll get my bag.Copy !req
218. You get your bag.Copy !req
219. Henry, Person of the Year.Copy !req
220. Okay, everybody, let's rock 'n' roll!Copy !req
221. - Hey, we good to go, Max?
- Yo!Copy !req
222. - We cool for sound, Tommy?
- Yeah, I'm coolCopy !req
223. Alright. Hello. Hey.Copy !req
224. How you doing? I'm Dick Bent.Copy !req
225. Christopher Lee.Copy !req
226. Thanks a buttload for coming in
last minute, okay?Copy !req
227. You really got me out of a tight spot.Copy !req
228. Speaking of tight spots,
meet Candy Blue.Copy !req
229. I'm killing myself. Hey, listen.Copy !req
230. Candy is the best in the business.
You're in good hand.Copy !req
231. I mean, she could suck
for fucking Hoover.Copy !req
232. Candy, meet Lee.Copy !req
233. Christopher Lee, actually.Copy !req
234. Hey, listen, you got all your props?Copy !req
235. - Tabasco?
- Yes.Copy !req
236. - Oatmeal?
- Yes.Copy !req
237. - Monkeywrench?
- Yes.Copy !req
238. - You know your lines?
- Of course.Copy !req
239. - You horny?
- Yes.Copy !req
240. Alright, you don't seem
to be having too much fun, huh?Copy !req
241. Treat it like a party. Have a good time.Copy !req
242. Hey, do you want
one of these cock sweets?Copy !req
243. - No.
- Alright.Copy !req
244. Okay, you know the scene.Copy !req
245. Do your lines and then waist height,
right, Candy? Okay.Copy !req
246. Alright, let's get goin'!Copy !req
247. And action, sugar tits!Copy !req
248. I don't have enough money
to pay for the pizza.Copy !req
249. How am I ever going to repay you?Copy !req
250. Okay, slut muff, the time for bullshit
has passed.Copy !req
251. 'Cause I've heard you like it...Copy !req
252. Hey! Cut, cut, cut, cut!Copy !req
253. Whoa! Hey. You're scaring her. Huh?Copy !req
254. What do you want her to do,
come or shit all over the floor?Copy !req
255. You're scaring me, goddamn it!Copy !req
256. Look at you! Now, repeat after me.Copy !req
257. I am a sexy man-god.Copy !req
258. I am a sexy man-god.Copy !req
259. I am a sexy fucking man-god.Copy !req
260. I am a sexy man-god.Copy !req
261. Alright, Candy, come in here.Copy !req
262. This is for the money shot, okay?Copy !req
263. So no loose change on the floor.Copy !req
264. Let's get ready. And cocks ahoy, limey!Copy !req
265. What a charming prospect.Copy !req
266. The offer of oral copulation
in exchange for pizza.Copy !req
267. If only the Battle of TrafalgarCopy !req
268. - was won in such a fashion.
- Cut!Copy !req
269. Somebody get me a cock sweet.Copy !req
270. Frankenstein, you're fired.Copy !req
271. Do you think the song's too short?Copy !req
272. No, it's great.Copy !req
273. I timed it. It's seven seconds long.Copy !req
274. Yeah, but it's a kick-ass seven seconds.Copy !req
275. That is true.Copy !req
276. Do you hear that shit?Copy !req
277. Yeah. That sounds like Elton John.Copy !req
278. I was told he was in hospital
Dicky ticker.Copy !req
279. Well, I'll tick his fucking licker
if he doesn't have a good excuseCopy !req
280. for being in our rehearsal room.Copy !req
281. Too right.Copy !req
282. - Are you ready?
- Yeah.Copy !req
283. - Are you focused?
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
284. - Is he gonna get it?
- You betcha.Copy !req
285. Hey, asshole.
Do you have trouble seeingCopy !req
286. through those stupid glasses
of yours, huh?Copy !req
287. - What?
- Shut up.Copy !req
288. I'm talking to you, dickhead.Copy !req
289. Did you look at the schedule?
It says Berry and Fulcher,Copy !req
290. eight till late!Copy !req
291. - I'm sorry.
- Shut up!Copy !req
292. Well, it's 1:00, prick-lick.Copy !req
293. I suggest you vamoose it,
and take your rocket man with you.Copy !req
294. What's the buzz, Rich?
There's other pianos here.Copy !req
295. Shut the fuck up!Copy !req
296. Are you deaf as well as blind?Copy !req
297. This is our room!
Where we create our magic!Copy !req
298. So get the fuck, lady muck!Copy !req
299. And what if I refuse?Copy !req
300. Oooooh.Copy !req
301. Would these help, Elton?Copy !req
302. Hmm. "I want my heart pills."Copy !req
303. There, you prick.Copy !req
304. - You just killed Elton John.
- You killed Elton John.Copy !req
305. I just yelled at him!
You put the lid on his fingers!Copy !req
306. - You wound him up.
- Well, what the fuckCopy !req
307. are we gonna do?Copy !req
308. Do you remember how we dealt
with Joe Cocker?Copy !req
309. Vaguely. I mostly watched.Copy !req
310. Okay, cut his head off with this.
I'll give it to IqbalCopy !req
311. Put the rest of him in this.
We can stick it in the piano.Copy !req
312. I'll hold his hair back. Come on!Copy !req
313. Right, I'm making an incision
Just below the rapid-exchangeCopy !req
314. dilation catheter.Copy !req
315. Near the descending aorta
so the blood flow doesn't coagulateCopy !req
316. into the small diameter graphs
from non-vascular ortologist tissues.Copy !req
317. And how long should
the cardiograph construction take?Copy !req
318. Mmm, no longer than 10 minutes.Copy !req
319. Hold that, please.Copy !req
320. God. Look, there's something
diabolical going on in green wing.Copy !req
321. I've got leave immediately.Copy !req
322. Can you take over, please?Copy !req
323. Right. Okay.Copy !req
324. Now, uh... Oh, did you see
what I just did there?Copy !req
325. It's very important to keep warm hands
during surgery.Copy !req
326. This will increase the blood flow
to the cosmic...Copy !req
327. dogmastiton.Copy !req
328. - The what?
- I haven't got time to repeat things.Copy !req
329. There's a life at stake here.Copy !req
330. Now, note the colour of the blood
is red, which is highly unusualCopy !req
331. See, when the homoglobin is this dark,Copy !req
332. it means the patient is very sick.Copy !req
333. So we need to get rid of this blood.Copy !req
334. Out you go! Out you go!Copy !req
335. Out you go!Copy !req
336. Doctor, we're losing vitals.
Blood pressure is 90 over 40.Copy !req
337. Oh, this is a common reaction
to blood takey-outey.Copy !req
338. See, the body needs to grow
new homoglobes,Copy !req
339. which should take around
three to five minutes.Copy !req
340. You can't grow new blood.Copy !req
341. "You can't grow new blood."Copy !req
342. What a retard.Copy !req
343. - Doctor, we're losing him.
- He's right here.Copy !req
344. That's a medical joke you will learn.Copy !req
345. You can actually write that down.Copy !req
346. - He's flat lining!
- Ah.Copy !req
347. This is from the television movies.Copy !req
348. We need to perform a heart massage.Copy !req
349. Okay. Will this massage have
a happy ending?Copy !req
350. You can write that one down as wellCopy !req
351. Now, notice how gentle she is.Copy !req
352. Because the heart will squish
when you squeeze it.Copy !req
353. Live, live.Copy !req
354. Live, live, live!Copy !req
355. Everybody. Live!Copy !req
356. Live, live!Copy !req
357. He's dead.Copy !req
358. Okay.
That concludes our lecture today,Copy !req
359. I guess.Copy !req
360. Now, the subject of lunch.
They will be serving fish cakesCopy !req
361. in the cafeteria.Copy !req
362. Fish were invented in 1974,Copy !req
363. which is the year
I also lost my virginity.Copy !req
364. It's the Victoria Park Hotel
I've got one room there,Copy !req
365. but it's only got a single bed.Copy !req
366. That sounds alright, doesn't it?
Listen, I'll catch upCopy !req
367. - with you later, okay?
- Yeah. Bye, Matt.Copy !req
368. - Can't wait.
- It was lovely talking to you.Copy !req
369. You, too.Copy !req
370. Bye, Tanya.Copy !req
371. Oh, Rich, didn't see you there.Copy !req
372. Thanks for dinner and the flowers
and writing that song especially for me.Copy !req
373. Yeah. Bye.Copy !req
374. Tanya.Copy !req
375. - What was that all about?
- What was what all about?Copy !req
376. You just massively cock-blocked me.Copy !req
377. What blocked you?Copy !req
378. When one man blocks another man's cock
it's called a cock-block.Copy !req
379. I was clearly talking
to that woman firstCopy !req
380. and then you butted in.Copy !req
381. Who gives a shit? It's a free country.Copy !req
382. Not in Cockblockovia, it's not.Copy !req
383. If I start to talk to someone,
you can't move in!Copy !req
384. It's in the cockstitution.Copy !req
385. I wasn't gonna do anything.
I've got a girlfriend.Copy !req
386. Oh, that's the worst kind.
The cock-blocker with a girlfriend.Copy !req
387. It's not enough that you're getting
attention from one girlCopy !req
388. No! You have to get attention from mine!Copy !req
389. You want to take it up a level?Copy !req
390. - Maybe.
- I didn't notice her nameCopy !req
391. tattooed on your forehead.Copy !req
392. I didn't see your name
branded on her ass,Copy !req
393. but that doesn't change anything.Copy !req
394. - Sit down.
- No.Copy !req
395. Sit down!Copy !req
396. Well, maybe I am gonna sit down,
but it's not 'cause you told me.Copy !req
397. It's because I have shingles in my butt.Copy !req
398. That was pretty good.Copy !req
399. - Nice guitar.
- Yeah, it's really nice.Copy !req
400. Yeah. What's that, Ken?Copy !req
401. - Ken wants to speak to you.
- Oh, hey, Ken.Copy !req
402. - Oh!
- Cock-block that.Copy !req
403. I think you broke my fucking neck!Copy !req
404. We are joined
by Mr Rich FulcherCopy !req
405. from America.Copy !req
406. He works as an assistant to the hangman.Copy !req
407. You have two minutes, Mr Fulcher,
on your chosen subject,Copy !req
408. Anglo-Saxon architecture, starting now.Copy !req
409. Which part of the post-Roman
Ripon Cathedral still survives?Copy !req
410. - The water.
- Incorrect.Copy !req
411. Oh...Copy !req
412. Sir Whiston's Church houses the tombs
of the rulers of which kingdom?Copy !req
413. Kingdom come.Copy !req
414. - Incorrect.
- Oh.Copy !req
415. All Saints' Church at Brixworth
in NorthamptonshireCopy !req
416. contained what unusual feature?Copy !req
417. - Brixworth. Brixworth. Bricks!
- Incorrect.Copy !req
418. The Leaning Tower of Dildo?Copy !req
419. Incorrect.Copy !req
420. Uh, Toto from the Wizard of Oz?Copy !req
421. Incorrect.Copy !req
422. - Elvis?
- Incorrect.Copy !req
423. - Titties.
- Incorrect.Copy !req
424. Did you get through
to the Mastermind Round of Champions?Copy !req
425. - Yeah. You?
- Oh, yeah. You gonna go?Copy !req
426. No. You?Copy !req
427. No.Copy !req
428. Yeah, I think the questions
on that show are too easy.Copy !req
429. They get easier and easier.Copy !req
430. Now, if you wanna know
a really tough show,Copy !req
431. it's Jeopardy! I'm a genius at Jeopardy!Copy !req
432. And you know what?
I beat my dad all the time.Copy !req
433. Granted, he is mentally ill,
and he drools all the time.Copy !req
434. I couldn't sleep at nights thenCopy !req
435. Awoken by the faces
of a thousand dead menCopy !req
436. What kind of beast kills for pain?Copy !req
437. I knew I'd go to hell on Judgement DayCopy !req
438. But why should I be so sad?Copy !req
439. The hours are good
and the money's not badCopy !req
440. I think of all the jobs
that I could have gone intoCopy !req
441. Sweeping up carts,
driving trains to WaterlooCopy !req
442. I could've been a painter
or the world's greatest witCopy !req
443. I could've been a sailor
but the hat didn't fitCopy !req
444. I'm the hangmanCopy !req
445. Take my handCopy !req
446. Come with meCopy !req
447. It's okayCopy !req
448. You'll be freeCopy !req
449. Matt?Copy !req
450. Matt? Matt!Copy !req
451. You weren't listening to what I said.Copy !req
452. Man, you were white as a ghost
and you had your handsCopy !req
453. around your neck and everything.Copy !req
454. No, I didn't!Copy !req
455. Okay. Wow. What a wound.Copy !req
456. Whisky!Copy !req
457. How about that? Hey, I'm Tom Dildo
back with youCopy !req
458. on Real-Life Bloopers.Copy !req
459. And this next bloofer...Copy !req
460. I mean blooper!Copy !req
461. was submitted by Charles Clarkson
of Bedford.Copy !req
462. Let's take a look, shall we?Copy !req
463. Oh, I know this. I know this.Copy !req
464. Mr Fulcher, you're clearly unwellCopy !req
465. If you remain seated,
we'll get some assistance.Copy !req
466. Oh, no, man. I gotta get out of here.Copy !req
467. I feel fucking sick.Copy !req
468. Your show made me sick!Copy !req
469. Henry, Person of the Year.Copy !req
470. Henry, Person of the Year.Copy !req
471. - Henry, Person of the Year.
- Mr Rich, it's 4am.Copy !req
472. - Henry, Person of the Year.
- Time to close up now.Copy !req
473. - Henry, Person of the Year.
- Mr Rich!Copy !req
474. What a guy.Copy !req
475. Theresa?Copy !req
476. Matt?Copy !req
477. Theresa?Copy !req
478. - Ken, have you seen Theresa?
- No.Copy !req
479. - Matt?
- No.Copy !req
480. Um, Theresa?Copy !req
481. Theresa, I'm done with my toast.Copy !req
482. Matt? Theresa!Copy !req
483. Theresa and Matt!Copy !req
484. Hello!Copy !req
485. Matt?Copy !req
486. Theresa! Where the hell are you?Copy !req
487. Oh, yes. Oh, yes!Copy !req
488. - Matt?
- What a night!Copy !req
489. - A night to remember.
- You're the king, Berry.Copy !req
490. Theresa!Copy !req
491. - What am I?
- Oh, the king!Copy !req
492. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
493. - Yes.
- Theresa?Copy !req
494. - Don't run out of film.
- Theresa!Copy !req
495. - Ah, shit.
- Tanya!Copy !req
496. - I was nearly there.
- What the fuck is going on?Copy !req
497. Answer me, goddamn it!Copy !req
498. I am really hurt!Copy !req
499. Rich, either come in and watch,
or get out.Copy !req
500. Either way, shut up.Copy !req
501. Now, where were we?Copy !req
502. - Right there, I think.
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
503. - Oh, yes.
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
504. - Oh, God.
- Oh, you're doing it.Copy !req
505. - Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah!Copy !req
506. - Oh, yes.
- I can't do this.Copy !req
507. What am I doing?Copy !req
508. I'm about to get there!Copy !req
509. Oh, God! Oh, Father.Copy !req
510. Oh, yes. Oh, God!Copy !req
511. Oh, yes! Oh, yes!Copy !req
512. Oh, God!Copy !req
513. I can't be in love if it's plasticCopy !req
514. To live on my own just seems tragicCopy !req
515. But we'll raise our swords high
when our day comesCopy !req
516. You thought it was gold
but it was bronzeCopy !req
517. So, get here in time
when our day comesCopy !req
518. You thought it was gold
but it was bronzeCopy !req
519. Get here in time when our day comesCopy !req
520. You thought it was gold
but it was bronzeCopy !req
521. Get here in time when our day comesCopy !req
522. You thought it was gold
but it was bronzeCopy !req
523. Get here in time when our day comesCopy !req
524. You thought it was gold
but it was bronzeCopy !req
525. In the Snuff Box next time...Copy !req
526. - Snooker...
- FoulCopy !req
527. piracy,Copy !req
528. snakes,Copy !req
529. - ... and much pleasure.
- Yes!Copy !req
530. So if I should die of smallpoxCopy !req
531. Put my remains in my snuff boxCopy !req
532. So if I should die of smallpoxCopy !req
533. Put my remains in my snuff boxCopy !req