1. No. Give it here.
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2. I want that.
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3. You got...
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4. Whoa!
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5. Wow!
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6. Oh, he almost got the ham then.
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7. That was a close one.
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8. Yeah, that was close.
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9. I don't wanna to watch this.
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10. Come on, Allan.
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11. It's actually a really
informat..
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12. Where's the remote?
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13. I want to watch the updates on
the war.
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14. The remote's broken.
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15. All right.
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16. Well, can we turn it down at
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17. TV's broken too.
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18. So we just have to watch this?
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19. Yep.
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20. Oh, I forgot about that alarm.
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21. Yeah, me too.
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22. We don't really
hear it that often do we?
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23. Thanks for coming, guys.
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24. I just got a
really exciting job for y'all.
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25. Awesome, man.
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26. Yeah, what is it?
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27. You two now have THE prviledge
of helping THE one
THE only...
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28. Jared Fogle!
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29. The subway guy!
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30. As you guys know,
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31. we're not allowed to say no
to anyone who calls us.
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32. So, yeah, you're helping
Jared Fogle smile today.
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33. Pretty cool, right?
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34. Oh, Lord.
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35. I'm just with you.
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36. That was too far, man.
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37. Jared Fogle is a genuine
menace.
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38. Absolutely not.
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39. I did not like that.
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40. Yeah, he's a pedophile.
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41. Oh, come on, guys.
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42. It was funny.
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43. The costume, come on!
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44. No, it wasn't.
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45. No, it was not dude...
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46. I did not find that funny.
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47. I have a line with that kind of
stuff.
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48. I don't find that stuff funny.
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49. I — No.
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50. So, do we have a real job?
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51. Oh, yeah.
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52. I actually got a call from
a scientist
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53. He sounded completely frantic
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54. and was saying something
about an egg dilemma.
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55. Oh, please, I'm serious this
time.
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56. Please believe me.
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57. off, Dude, that's cheap.
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58. That's just —
that's low hanging fruit.
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59. That one got you.
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60. Yeah, the dog face.
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61. Yeah, the dog got me.
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62. Good job.
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63. You love it.
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64. I do.
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65. I do.
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66. You — you know me
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67. There it is again.
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68. Let's go, Charlie.
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69. What kind of
scientist lives in a tunnel,
dude?
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70. I think we're almost there.
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71. I see a light ahead.
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72. Greetings!
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73. I am Professor Psychotic!
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74. And you are just in time for the
show!
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75. Yes, Yes!
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76. Bah!
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77. OH, my God!
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78. What the hell, dude!
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79. No need to be alarmed!
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80. Dude, what was that?
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81. What was that thing?
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82. That was a failure is what it
was!
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83. I injected my psychotic DNA
into a chicken egg
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84. and let it marinate for 14 moons
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85. and it was supposed to
create a living homunculus
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86. but instead it died
just like all the others!
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87. So, what do you need us for?
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88. The reason I called you two here
is
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89. because I'm missing
what all mad scientists have.
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90. Assistance!
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91. With your help
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92. together
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93. we can finally succeed in my
lifelong mission of
creating life
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94. Then I will finally take over
the world!
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95. Yo.
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96. Uh, yo, what's up?
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97. What's up, man?
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98. Vanessa's over.
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99. We're trying to watch TV.
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100. You're being incredibly loud.
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101. Uh, you just like, my volume,
or—
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102. Yeah, volume.
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103. That's what loud means, doesn't
it
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104. Yeah, I have the door closed.
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105. We're on the couch on the
other side of this paper-thin
wall.
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106. We're trying to
watch a nice romantic movie
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107. and all we're hearing
is injecting DNA into an egg.
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108. Yeah, that's what I do. Yeah.
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109. Yeah, that's what you do.
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110. You waste time.
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111. You do stupid shit all the time.
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112. You notice this is what I care
about?
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113. This is what you care about!
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114. Care about something better!
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115. Care about yourself, maybe!
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116. Care about me.
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117. The people who are
keeping you alive!
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118. I care about you.
This is like my job, basically.
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119. Oh, you care about me?
That's so good.
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120. You're only doing
your job.
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121. Get an actual job!
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122. Get one that pays you.
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123. You know, I looked.
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124. It's a hard economy out there.
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125. It's a hard economy?
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126. How about the economy
of my patients?
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127. It's running thin, buddy.
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128. Paper-thin like these walls.
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129. What? Dude, you have your
problems, too.
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130. I got my problem.
Okay, okay.
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131. Get the out!
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132. I—
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133. Get the out!
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134. Go!
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135. Dude, what do I do?
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136. I didn't have a place to stay.
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137. Uh, yeah. Can you just give ..
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138. I can understand you.
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139. I took Spanish in school.
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140. Oh, cool. I —
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141. I guess you now our plan, then.
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142. Um, Yeah.
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143. All right, Professor Psychotic.
This place is great. I love this
place.
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144. All you got to do is
just watch me.
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145. It's very simple.
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146. All right, you wanna grab,
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147. You wanna to grab a guy there,
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148. Okay, you wanna to see that
part right there?
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149. You wanna to twist.
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150. You wanna to pull,
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151. You wanna to grab that part.
You wanna to d..
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152. You wanna dip.
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153. You wanna to throw
the other piec..
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154. Dip it in some of that
and you just— you enjoy it.
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155. Mm, it's good. Now you try.
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156. I still can't
believe my brother kicked me
out.
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157. The craziest part
is I'm 100% in the right.
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158. No, dude, your
brother kind of has a point,
okay?
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159. This mad scientist
stuff is ruining your life.
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160. You just got kicked
out of your place, dude.
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161. Well, I wouldn't say
it's just the mad scientist
stuff.
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162. It's definitely the mad
scientist—
it's definitely the mad
scientist stuff, 100%.
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163. But then what am I going to do
all day?
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164. I mean, dude, you
keep bringing up creating life.
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165. Have you ever, like, been with a
woman?
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166. You know you can, like,
create life with a woman, right?
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167. Like, her?
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168. Hmm, no, I couldn't do that.
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169. I have trouble speaking to
women.
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170. Come on, man, it's not that
hard.
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171. Why don't you just try to
practice first?
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172. Look, what about that
girl right there? She's
beautiful.
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173. Why don't you try talking to
her?
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174. Uh, hello, I am Professor
Psychotic.
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175. I am making an egg with
my DNA in my evil laboratory!
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176. I really thought that would
work.
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177. How? How could that ever work?
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178. That one, fellas, the thing up
there!
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179. Look, Mr. Doug
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180. I know your brother
can be eccentric
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181. but you really should give him a
chance to change his ways
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182. He's the only brother you've
got.
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183. No!
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184. Decision's final.
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185. I've given Daniel too
many chances.
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186. I work 14 hours a day to
pay for our house
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187. and he's in his bedroom
doing that egg shit.
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188. I'm done.
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189. Well, maybe if you two had a
nice
sit-down over a cup of tea and a
slice of cake,
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190. you could work things out.
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191. I ought to knock your
block off, you little freak.
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192. What?
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193. Sorry.
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194. It's just that things really
haven't been the same
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195. since the funeral.
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196. Funeral?
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197. Yeah.
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198. Mother's funeral.
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199. Ever since then,
Daniel hasn't been the same.
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200. He blew her inheritance
on that science lab of his.
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201. $80,000.
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202. Right down the tubes.
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203. You know, I'm just
happy Mother's not here to see
it.
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204. Check this out.
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205. Oh my God. I'm sorry.
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206. Pretty ing serious.
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207. Please, Mr. Doug.
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208. Just give your brother
one more chance.
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209. Nope. Like I said, decision is
final.
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210. Oh, oh, careful, careful!
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211. Matthew!
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212. Nooo!
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213. No, no, this can't be happening!
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214. My brother! Nooo!
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215. And yeah, we was having a
little bit of brotherly drama
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216. but I see how little that
matters now.
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217. And I never told him
how much I damn love him.
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218. I freaking love you, man!
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219. Oh my God!
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220. Nooo!
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221. Okay.
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222. I'll go see him.
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223. Yeah, I think that's a good
idea.
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224. Yeah.
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225. Honestly.
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226. Oh, nice to see you. Come in.
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227. Your brother's in the living
room.
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228. Doug, good to see you.
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229. Looking good, Daniel.
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230. All right, Doug.
Why don't you start?
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231. Okay.
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232. Daniel
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233. I'm sorry I kicked you out
and exploded on you.
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234. You're my little baby brother
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235. and I worry sick about you.
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236. Your behavior has been affecting
everyone around you, including
me.
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237. And I just wish the best for
you.
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238. That was very nice, Doug.
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239. Daniel
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240. do you have anything to say?
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241. Come on, man, say something?
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242. Doug, I'm sorry for
all the stuff I did
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243. but it's been hard for me too.
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244. You haven't been the same since
you became addicted to those
painkillers.
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245. I take those pills because of
you, man.
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246. Yeah? Well, maybe
if you weren't high 24-7
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247. you could have been
there for Mother when she died!
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248. I'm gonna kick
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249. your ing ass, man!
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250. Stand up! Get up!
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251. Get off me brother!
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252. Stop!
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253. Stop!
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254. No, stop!
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255. Stop fighting!
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256. Wait.
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257. Hello, huh? Hello, daddies?
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258. Hello, daddies? Hello?
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259. Don't you see?
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260. Look what you did.
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261. You created life.
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262. Hello, what's up? Hello, what's
up?
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263. Yes, I did it.
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264. I really did it.
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265. We need to put aside
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266. whatever differences we may
have
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267. to raise this homunculus.
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268. Yeah.
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269. We need to father this son
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270. better than our mother ever
mothered us
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271. Absolutely dude.
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272. I love you.
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273. Love you, too.
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274. I'm sorry, man.
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275. I'm sorry.
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276. I'm sorry, man.
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277. I love you.
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278. You did it.
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279. You're a ing genius.
You're a genius.
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280. You're a genius.
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281. Look at you. You're a genius.
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282. Pim, the world we live in
stresses me out, dude.
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283. Really? Why?
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284. Just like never-ending constant
chaos.
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285. No, It never lets up. I hate it.
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286. It's not good.
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287. I mean, you didn't like when
the man came out of
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288. the egg, though? That
was kind of nice, wasn't it?
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289. No, that's what I'm talking
about. It's exactly what I'm
saying.
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290. Oh, you didn't like
that kind of... I'm sorry.
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291. What's that? You didn't
do it. It's like your fault.
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292. Yeah, okay.
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293. I'm sorry I tried to take
the ham from earlier on.
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294. No, that's alright.
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295. I'm sorry, I didn't lend
it to you.
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296. Oh.
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297. You can have it.
You can have a piece.
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298. Oh.
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299. Get over here, brother.
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300. I love you.
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301. That changed my life.
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302. I'm not crying
because of the movie...
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303. I'm crying because I can't
change my face back to normal.
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304. I don't know what to do.
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305. !
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