1. How would you define horror?
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2. If today's people put down
their newfangled gizmos
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3. and gadgets for a brief moment,
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4. they probably start rambling on
about nonsense
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5. like wars, plagues,
and terrorist attacks.
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6. What they would neglect
to mention
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7. are the actual horrors
of reality,
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8. like witches, ghouls,
and alien saucers.
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9. However, after tonight,
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10. you can add something else
to that list —
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11. the primal, disturbing horror
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12. of the unknown.
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13. Charlie, what are you
supposed to be?
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14. He doesn't want
to dress up as anything.
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15. Listen, I-I've seen
way too many people
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16. get their careers ruined over
all the Halloween costumes,
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17. I'm not doing it.
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18. Why don't you just
put on some face paint
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19. and be a zombie
or something?
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20. Dude, face paint gets
people in way more trouble
than anything else.
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21. I mean, I have no idea
what's going to be
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22. offensive in 10 years.
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23. Oh, come on, Charlie,
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24. where's your
Halloween spirit?
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25. When you put on a costume,
you can be anything!
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26. Pim, that's insane.
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27. Could regular Pim be
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28. the sharpest gunslinger
in the West?
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29. You're not gonna
hit that, man.
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30. You need to pick those up
when you're done.
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31. Don't leave them all over
the floor.
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32. I'm like 100% positive.
you're not gonna hit that.
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33. Okay, you actually hit it.
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34. Aah!
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35. What the fuck, Pim?
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36. I thought
this was safe, Alan.
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37. I really didn't know
it could do that.
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38. It's fine. Just no more guns
inside, okay?
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39. We're done with
the gun stuff,
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40. Everyone,
I have some bad news.
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41. Halloween is canceled.
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42. Aw!
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43. Yep, we're all out of
firewood,
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44. and it's just
not the same
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45. without a big Halloween
fire pit.
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46. If only someone could
wrangle up some firewood.
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47. Oh, well.
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48. Oh, I could
wrangle up some firewood.
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49. Oh, Pim, that's wonderful!
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50. Follow me. I'll show you
where the good stuff is.
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51. All right.
Uh, see those woods over there?
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52. Yeah.
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53. and pick some crap
off the floor and —
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54. - Oh, okay.
- What?
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55. Oh, I was just saying
okay.
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56. Oh, yeah, it's all good.
It's all good.
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57. Uh, but anyway, yeah,
it's usually a little bit sparse
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58. this time of year,
but if you look hard enough,
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59. you should be able
to find something.
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60. I should be able
to do that.
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61. Wait!
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62. One more thing.
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63. Whatever you do,
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64. don't go beyond
the rickety bridge.
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65. Why not?
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66. Hmm? Huh?
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67. Because...
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68. you'll get lost!
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69. Oh, thank you, Mr. Bird.
Mwah!
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70. Hmm.
These twigs are nice and all,
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71. but I wish I had something
with a bit more girth.
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72. Oh, that's more like it!
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73. Hmm.
What did the boss say
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74. about that rickety bridge again?
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75. Don't go beyond
the rickety bridge.
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76. You'll get lost!
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77. The boss did say not to go
beyond the rickety bridge,
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78. but all the good firewood
is there.
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79. Hmm. This truly is
a cowboy's dilemma.
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80. If I just mark the trees
like a true pioneer,
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81. I'll be able to find
my way back, no problem.
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82. Oh, whoops.
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83. Well, a cowboy's gotta do
what a cowboy's gotta do.
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84. Uh, all right, that's about
all I can carry.
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85. I should probably get back
to the office anyway.
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86. It's getting late.
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87. Huh?
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88. Ah, what the...
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89. Ah, no, no, no, no! No!
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90. Ah!
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91. Oh, fudge.
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92. Oh! Oh! Ooh! Ah!
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93. I-I'll just stay here
till the rain dies down.
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94. Everything —
Everything's gonna be fine.
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95. This place isn't so bad.
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96. In fact, I could see myself
settling down here.
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97. Yeah, right there is where
my exotic wife will sit
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98. and knit me beautiful quilts.
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99. Hello, wifey!
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100. Hello, Pim.
I do love you.
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101. And that's where the younglings
will sit and go wild with fun.
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102. Hello, my babies!
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103. Hello, Daddy Pim!
Hello, Daddy Pim!
Hello, Daddy Pim!
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104. And now there is where I'll
toil away on my lovely farm.
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105. Hello, farmy!
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106. What do I do?
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107. Run, Daddy Pim!
Run, Daddy Pim!
Run, Daddy Pim!
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108. You'll never escape.
You're gonna die here, Pim.
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109. Aghhhhh!
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110. Oof!
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111. Aaah!
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112. Whoa, is that
fuckin' blackface, dude?
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113. No, no, no,
this isn't blackface,
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114. I'm an actual demon.
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115. Bro, please tell me
that's not blackface.
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116. - Not cool, man.
- No, no, no, no.
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117. You don't understand.
I'm literally a forest demon
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118. from across the bridge.
This isn't a costume.
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119. Get the fuck out, man!
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120. See, that's exactly the why
I don't dress up for Halloween,
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121. right there,
that's the reason.
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122. Yeah, and thanks for wrangling
up that firewood, buddy.
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123. Halloween is saved!
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124. So, my friends,
what did we learn tonight?
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125. The only thing more horrifying
than the unknown up there
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126. is the unknown in here.
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127. And if you knew what went on
in here,
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128. you'd freak out.
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129. I guess I'm just a bit
more demented than most.
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130. Hey, buddy, you can't be hanging
around here watching cartoons.
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131. We've been getting complaints
all night.
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132. You need to leave.
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133. What law am I breaking?
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134. That'll be Title 18,
Chapter 55, Section 55.06 —
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135. loitering and prowling
at night.
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136. It's a third-degree
misdemeanor.
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137. Okay, I-I didn't know.
I...
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138. Well, excuse me.
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139. Whooooooo!
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