Smallville 4x16

1. St. Moritz, Switzerland

2. Who calls at 3 a. m.?

3. - This had better be good. - Lo, it's me.

4. Lucy?

5. Where are you?

6. Good news big sis, I'm coming to see you the Day after tomorrow, don't worry about the airport alright, I'll grab a shuttle

7. - Lucy, wait! - Can't wait to see you, bye!

8. Hope you guys are hungry because there are plenty more where these came from.

9. Lois, you really didn't have to... Do all this.

10. At least let me help. I should make some eggs.

11. Oh, no no, Mrs. Kent, you just sit down and relax.

12. Look here I am using your home as my own personal Motel 6, it's really the least I can do.

13. Yeah well I'm not that hungry, so I'm going to have some OJ.

14. Come on, breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

15. Bacon?

16. OK so I'm never going to make it to the Cordon Bleu, but I thought it would be less of a disaster than helping out on the farm.

17. Maybe ironing.

18. Lois what's going on?

19. What do you mean?

20. You made us breakfast, you're offering to do chores...

21. you want something.

22. No, it's called being nice.

23. Yeah, well if you were any nicer we'd starve.

24. Clark.

25. He's right, Mrs. Kent.

26. Look.

27. See, you guys have been so good to me already...

28. it's kind of hard to ask for yet another favor so... but...

29. Lo? Anybody home?

30. Oh hi sweetie, what's your name?

31. - Hi! - Oh, I'm so happy to see you!

32. Um, meet my sister Lucy, she was kind of hoping she could crash here for a couple of days.

33. I know it's last-minute but I had this school break... and I'm willing to sleep in the barn.

34. Now that's okay, Lois can sleep in the barn.

35. - Nobody has to sleep out there. - We'd love to have you Lucy.

36. - You can stay in Lois's room. - Look, we'll go up and get your things set up.

37. So Lucy, Lois has told us absolutely nothing about you.

38. There's not much to tell.

39. Oh, please, let me gloat.

40. She is getting straight A's at one of the most prestigious prep schools in Europe,

41. she is fluent in three languages, and she is fending off Ivy League colleges with a stick.

42. Wow, that's impressive. What happened to Lois?

43. You're going to find that Clark's charm is an acquired taste, much like his sense of fashion.

44. Well, thanks for letting me stay, I don't know how I'm going to repay you.

45. Well, just tell me plenty of embarrassing stories about Lois.

46. Funny guy.

47. Well, I'm just going to go wash four time zones worth of airport connections...

48. Lucy?

49. Are you sure everything's OK?

50. Now that I'm here with you, it's perfect.

51. You know you cheated on that last stretch, young lady. I had you beat.

52. Well I only offered you a kiss, didn't think you'd actually fall for it.

53. Oh my God.

54. Hold on.

55. Is anything missing?

56. I don't know.

57. My jewelry is still here.

58. My wallet is right where I left it.

59. Okay well if nothing valuable is missing then...

60. The stone.

61. Who else could have known it was here?

62. - I don't know. - Well no one saw me take it in China.

63. Maybe Lex or Lionel figured it out.

64. Or Clark.

65. You always said there was a side of him that you never really knew.

66. I don't care who took this Jason.

67. I don't care about these stones, I just want to forget they ever existed.

68. Lana, this isn't some bad dream that you can just blink away,

69. This is real life.

70. - We have to find that stone. - No, we don't.

71. Jason, our relationship has become more about chasing artifacts than it is about you and me.

72. And that isn't a relationship.

73. Remember when our biggest problem was trying to find a place to steal a kiss?

74. Yeah, I usually preferred under the bleachers.

75. Well there is no reason why we can't go back to those days,

76. without worrying about break-ins and artifacts and the Luthors...

77. And Clark Kent.

78. You're right.

79. Then whoever took the stone, they can just keep it...

80. and we'll just concentrate on the only thing that really matters...

81. us.

82. Hope you're thirsty.

83. What are you doing?

84. Well I figured I'd help out and get the morning milk.

85. I spent last spring break on my friend's farm on the Swiss countryside.

86. Well you know you didn't really have to do that.

87. I figured if I'm going to stay, I have to pull my own weight.

88. Lois, did you hear that?

89. I'm sorry, did you say something?

90. Go get changed, I'm going to work.

91. Since when did you work?

92. Since today. I'm helping your mom out at the Talon. So Chloe is going to be your official Smallville tour guide,

93. not that there's much to see.

94. Oh I don't know, so far it looks pretty good.

95. Don't let all that flirting go to your head, she goes to an all girls school,

96. you're probably the first guy she's talked to in a couple of months.

97. Lois, I don't want you to get the wrong idea, but ever since Lucy came to town, you've been grumpier than normal.

98. Are you not happy to see your sister?

99. Of course I am. Look there's a thing with sisters, you can love them without liking them.

100. You don't like your own sister?

101. More like she's not very crazy about me. And not that I blame her.

102. Look, you might be a little rough around the edges, but as far as sisters go... Lucy could do a lot worse.

103. Thanks for the ringing endorsement.

104. When my mother died,

105. my dad had two girls he didn't know how to deal with, so he did what every good military leader would do,

106. he instituted a chain of command. And I reported to him...

107. Lucy reported to you.

108. Yeah. Takes sibling rivalry to a whole new level.

109. I had to make sure she had three square meals, got to school, did her homework...

110. you became her mother.

111. Yeah except I was not prepared.

112. I used to give her advice like, "don't kiss a boy or you're going to get pregnant"

113. And yeah, they be she had a few more chores than most kids.

114. Is that why she decided to go to boarding school?

115. Oh... unlike you your family, there was no discussion.

116. When the general gives an order, you are expected to carry it out.

117. Sounds kind of harsh.

118. Trust me, Lucy got the better end of the deal.

119. Don't get me wrong... she totally deserves it.

120. I guess there was just a part of me that was always jealous that she got out and I didn't.

121. I gotta go to work.

122. I hear your mother's a slave driver.

123. I need a half-caff soy latte, no foam, no whip, and a blueberry muffin-top, hold the stem.

124. Whatever happened to regular old black coffee.

125. Two Lanes under one roof, that's gotta be interesting.

126. I haven't had a hot shower in 2 days, the laundry machine is running nonstop,

127. the phone line is consistently busy.

128. Now it's nice having them around. Kind of takes the loneliness out of the house.

129. Yeah, I always hated the sound of a quiet home.

130. Whoa, is that Lois with a tray? Hey, cuz...

131. Yes it is, it's kind of like a free floor show.

132. - Have you two been catching up? - Yeah, Lucy's just filling me in on all her hidden talents.

133. She was a violinist for the Zürich youth Orchestra.

134. It was nothing, it's just a hobby.

135. Given their reputation in Europe, I highly doubt that.

136. - Oh sorry Lucy, this is - - Lex Luthor.

137. I read your profile in Fortune magazine couple of months ago.

138. I thought your theories on the future of American business were very interesting.

139. While I'd be curious to hear what you think of my piano skills.

140. Drop by at the mansion, I'd love to play with a serious musician.

141. Oh, crap!

142. I'm gonna go help her out.

143. Lucy. Who's that guy staring at you back there?

144. Luthor, where is it?

145. Well, if perhaps you tell me what it is you want...

146. You know exactly what it is I want.

147. You gave me that map because you knew I'd end up in China,

148. and you knew I would find that stone.

149. It was all one big calculated ploy wasn't it?

150. If I had the foresight which you attribute to me, I wouldn't need any ancient artifacts to help me.

151. If you've got any kind of foresight, you'll let me know where that stone is right now, otherwise this is going to get very ugly.

152. Oh, so now in addition to hurling accusations, you decide to threaten me?

153. You break into her apartment, you go through her private things...

154. I assure you, breaking and entering is not my style.

155. You're lost treasure isn't here Mr. Teague, you'll have to look somewhere else. Good day.

156. I'm not going anywhere, Luthor, until you give me that stone and you convince me that you didn't take it.

157. You storm in here, you accuse me of some ham-fisted home invasion.

158. Why are you doing this? Is it an act? An elaborate diversion?

159. Don't turn this around on me!

160. I think we both know there's nothing stronger than the love between mother and son,

161. and I'm sure Ms. Lang agrees.

162. I knew you had talents, but I didn't think burglary was one of them.

163. I swear I was going to pay it all back, I'm not some criminal.

164. You do a pretty good job of impersonating one.

165. Look Lucy, I just don't get it, I mean why?

166. Do you have any idea what it's like to be different from everyone else?

167. To be a total outsider?

168. I might have an idea.

169. In my school, I'm surrounded by the wealthiest kids in the world.

170. So unless I wanna be the school's outcast, I had to be like them, look like them.

171. Well I'm sure that's a very expensive undertaking. But do you really have to resort to petty theft in order to fit in?

172. Well I tried using my credit cards but they maxed out!

173. So I went to this club owner who's known for lending money to the credit-impaired.

174. - You went to a loan shark? - It's called something else in German,

175. but yeah, that's the idea.

176. Wait, so that's the guy that was here the other day staring at you.

177. All right look, how much do you owe him?

178. 50,000 U.S. dollars.

179. But most of its just bogus interest.

180. - Lucy we've got to tell your father about this. - No, I can't.

181. The generals convinced I'm the embodiment of the perfect daughter.

182. Well at least we have to tell Lois.

183. I don't want to disappoint her.

184. She's your sister, she'll understand.

185. Not everyone has a family like yours Clark.

186. Please don't tell her.

187. I think the best thing for me to do is to just... disappear for a while.

188. Lucy wait.

189. If you're in some sort of trouble the best thing to do is just stay here and keep a low profile.

190. Maybe there's something I can do to help.

191. His name is Marcus Becker, he's a bouncer at a club called Kronos in Zürich,

192. with a résumé chock full of felonies. Apparently this club is kind of a front for the kind of people

193. that you don't want to own money to.

194. We should just tell Lois.

195. She doesn't have to.

196. I knew her hop, skip, and jump over the Atlantic wasn't because she missed her big sister,

197. and if this guy is bothering Lucy, then I'm going to find him, we're going to have a little talk.

198. Lois. Before you go all "Lifetime Heroine", remember that this is not the school bully she's dealing with.

199. Seriously, she is in trouble.

200. But I think I know someone who can help.

201. Bravo, Lucy. Excellent performance.

202. Yeah, I had no idea the younger Lane was such a virtuoso.

203. Oh, apparently there's quite a bit about the younger Lane we don't know.

204. Thanks Clark, you're pretty great about keeping a secret.

205. Lucy I want to help you, that's why I'm here.

206. Lex, I was going to tell you about the money but I think she already beat me to it.

207. And what money would that be?

208. I didn't come here looking for a handout, I can solve this problem by myself.

209. Well as long as we're on the topic of personal finance, how did you think you would be able to pay this money back?

210. Standing on the street corner, playing your violin for loose change?

211. - There's a reason why I didn't tell you. - Look, I don't wanna have to say anything to the general about-

212. You're not mom alright, so stop trying to be!

213. Don't you dare bring mom into this...

214. Ladies, please...

215. Lucy owes $50,000 to a guy in Switzerland. He's come to Smallville to collect.

216. Now Lucy...

217. how does a girl like you get involved with a loan shark?

218. It's a long story.

219. But look, I didn't ask for anyone's help, not Clark, not Lois, not you. I'm a big girl, I can handle this on my own.

220. $50,000 is a lot to handle, even for a big girl.

221. Yeah, well I guess that's my problem.

222. Lucy, before you walk out that door, why don't you tell me what happened?

223. I have the resources to deal with these kind of people.

224. They want bearer bonds, which are impossible to trace, this isn't amateur hour.

225. I thought you had a policy not to deal with extortionists.

226. This is different Clark. This isn't the first time I've dealt with these people.

227. - Wait, you know Marcus Becker? - I know the men he works for.

228. They are a German crime syndicate, and they've repeatedly blocked my attempts to buy hotel in Zürich

229. through intimidation and blackmail. If I get this guy in custody, I'll have something to squeeze them with.

230. So Lucy's just a pawn?

231. I just have other reasons for helping her out.

232. Becker wants me to meet him at an abandoned warehouse at the corner of Market and Lyndon.

233. Lex, this isn't worth getting hurt over.

234. No one is getting hurt Clark. All I'm doing is delivering the briefcase,

235. the GPS device inside will lead my security team right to them.

236. He said he only wants me there.

237. No, that's not going to happen.

238. I'm going alone.

239. 100 grand, chrome wheels, and 13 speakers, and instead of a back seat, oh yeah, I get the gear shift.

240. Are we there yet?

241. Have you ever been in a car and not uttered those words?

242. All I'm saying is that this guy isn't going to be happy if we are not there on time.

243. He is not the kind of guy you want to piss off.

244. Relax, we're close.

245. Damnit.

246. Can you outrun them?

247. Don't worry, I'll handle it.

248. Just stay put.

249. Excuse me officer,

250. I appreciate your need to fulfill your speeding ticket quota but... can we make this quick?

251. Put your hands over your head.

252. What?

253. Put your hands up, now!

254. Look, I think there's been a mistake, I may have been speeding but -

255. Shut up!

256. Go get the bonds, Mr. Luthor.

257. Oh my God.

258. No, no, no. Just stay calm, okay?

259. Nice try.

260. Dump it in the bag.

261. Thank you.

262. and good night!

263. You wouldn't want Lucy to be an only child, would you?

264. Take my word for it, there's no cash on the premises.

265. Where's Marcus Becker?

266. Never heard of him.

267. Lex!

268. Clark, he's got the girls.

269. Somebody!

270. It's no use. We are totally and utterly screwed.

271. Oh, let's not jump to conclusions here. I have a history of getting us out of the jams you get us into.

272. I'll think of something.

273. Lois, this isn't like us getting ourselves locked in the mess hall pantry, or getting lost on our bikes in Bangkok.

274. I don't get it, you got your money. Why don't you go back home,

275. eat some Swiss cheese, and live happily ever after, you don't need us.

276. But I do. The Luthor well has only just been tapped. I'm here to strike it rich.

277. You son of a bitch, you're holding us for ransom?

278. Lucy, zip it.

279. Let my sister go. You don't need both of us.

280. Sure I do.

281. A pair of Lanes, it definitely ups the ante.

282. The world would be a whole lot worse without her in it than without me, okay?

283. She's the one with a future. If she'd only learn to behave herself.

284. Eat up girls.

285. How generous of you, I thought you'd let us starve.

286. The one with the sticker has no tomatoes.

287. Lucy!

288. Yeah?

289. How did he know you don't like tomatoes?

290. Lucy Lane has been conning us this whole time.

291. That's a pretty bold accusation, Clark.

292. The drop-off was a fake, there was no warehouse.

293. And Lucy was the only one who knew about the GPS.

294. I mean, how else would Becker have known to treat the briefcase like the plague?

295. Becker's a pro, he could simply be cautious about the money.

296. It's all part of a bigger plan. The way she accidentally woke me up

297. on her way to steal from the Talon. She knew I'd catch her in the act.

298. Her sob story about not being able to fit in at school.

299. It was all a setup, in order to win my sympathies, so I would come to you for the money.

300. She played us like a Stratovarius.

301. What I don't understand is why abduct Lois?

302. I know it's a con, but why kidnap your own sister?

303. Well they say sibling rivalries run deep.

304. Line 1, Mr. Luthor. It's Becker.

305. Lex Luthor.

306. Place $500,000 in bearer bonds inside the trailer on Highway 54 just north of Cherry Hill.

307. That's not how it works.

308. Clark?

309. Clark?

310. I swear Lois, it wasn't supposed to end up this way.

311. When Michael Hoover was throwing dirt clods at you, who kicked his butt, huh?

312. Who was the one who let you sleep in her bed, and listen to you snore every night after mom died?

313. Lois, I'm sorry.

314. Well sorry is not good enough! I wanna know why.

315. I wanna know why you turned to a life of crime when you have everything in the world going for you!

316. You're as close to friggin' perfect as it gets!

317. Because that's what the general always wanted!

318. I just went along and played the part.

319. From the day I left for school, all I wanted was to go home.

320. Why didn't you tell the general that?

321. How could I? It was clear he didn't want me around.

322. He wanted you.

323. What are you talking about?

324. Why do you think he sent me off to school after mom died?

325. He sent you off to school because you were brilliant, and deserved the best education available.

326. Well you can think whatever you want.

327. But the fact is I have always envied you.

328. Me?

329. I was being dragged around the world like a spare piece of luggage.

330. But you had something I never had.

331. What?

332. You had dad.

333. Luce,

334. I don't think either of us ever had Dad.

335. Sorry I got you into this Lois.

336. Don't worry about it, you've been in far worse trouble than this.

337. We're pulling over... now!

338. How are you feeling?

339. Well, I have a newfound appreciation for seat belts, I can tell you that.

340. What are you going to do with my sister?

341. I don't have a choice. I have to notify the authorities.

342. Hey... wait!

343. I'm sorry.

344. Lucy!

345. Lex. Any luck finding Lucy?

346. No, all that turned up was the car, minus my $50,000.

347. Look Lex, I know that Lois feels really badly about this, but there's really no way she's going to be able to-

348. Clark, I'm not here to collect. Besides, having Becker in custody is worth a lot more to me than 50 grand.

349. Your deal in Zürich.

350. Well I'm glad that someone came out of this ahead.

351. So how's Lois?

352. Um, I don't know, she hasn't said anything all day.

353. But I don't know why Lucy would run away, I mean Lois is her family.

354. Just because you have the same blood running through your veins, doesn't make you family.

355. Look at us Clark.

356. I'm a product of my fathers breeding.

357. He needed an heir.

358. But your parents chose you out of love.

359. I'd take your family any day of the week.

360. I just think Lois and Lucy could have been closer.

361. We'll hopefully one day they will be.

362. But that's up to them. So quit blaming yourself for what happened.

363. Lex.

364. Do you ever miss not having a sibling?

365. I used to.

366. Until I met you, Clark.

367. You're closer to me than any blood brother.

368. - Hey! - Hey.

369. Have you recovered from hurricane Lucy yet?

370. Oh I just hope she changes her ways before she gets herself hurt.

371. You know it never fails, keeping secrets always leads to trouble.

372. I don't know which is more difficult, being the one keeping the secret, or the one who's being duped.

373. Have you talked to Lois?

374. She's been holed up in her room all day. She took it all pretty hard.

375. Well ever since I can remember, the one thing Lois has always wanted is to protect her little sister.

376. I guess no matter how bad you want to, you just can't save everyone.

377. But it doesn't stop you from trying, does it Clark?

378. Dad, clearly the idea of personal space is lost on you.

379. Lex, one of your employees paid me a visit recently, and I wasn't clear whether it was official business,

380. or what it was.

381. As far as I know, our outstanding business is finished.

382. Well, he... Jason Teague, that's who it was, accused me of taking something that didn't belong to me.

383. Of stealing.

384. Well it wouldn't be the first time.

385. Be that as it may, the accusation was false.

386. But given what's missing, I almost wish I was guilty.

387. What was it?

388. You know the answer to that question, Lex, you're the one who took it from him.

389. Dad, if you want to play games, there's a deck of cards in the parlor.

390. Let's talk about games. You hire someone to travel to China to search for an ancient artifact.

391. He finds it, he steals it, but he keeps it for himself. Then you have to steal it back from him.

392. You've turned "hot potato" into an art form, son.

393. Jason Teague found the stone?

394. Either you are the best con man in the world, or you are truly unbelievably naïve.

395. Good afternoon, Lex.

396. I thought you said that telescopes were for geeks and stalkers.

397. Yeah well, as was proven over the last few days, I can seriously misjudge people.

398. You know, if you've come to kick me off the farm, I completely understand.

399. Yeah, um... actually I came here to tell you we have food in the oven, if you're hungry.

400. Thanks.

401. How are you holding up?

402. Oh, just got off the phone with the general.

403. Oh, that was all the screaming I heard from the house.

404. Yeah, well apparently he is very disappointed in me for letting this happen,

405. and as far as the family chain of command goes, I am the weakest link.

406. - I'm sorry. - Don't be.

407. You know, there's something cathartic about telling a 3-star general to go to hell.

408. You know, all these years I thought I had my sister pegged but...

409. in reality, she's a complete stranger to me.

410. Even if that were true, I think that if she called you tomorrow, you'd be there in the second to help her.

411. Yeah I would. She's my sister.

412. I don't think Lucy is all that bad.

413. You're amazing, "Smallville".

414. You always look for the best in people, even when they walk all over you.

415. I guess that explains why we're friends.

416. Oh, we're friends now?

417. Well, I won't tell anyone if you don't.