1. Ingrid, how simply delightful to see you.
I would offer you tea or coffee,Copy !req
2. but I think what you really need is
a big slice of humble pie. What's this?Copy !req
3. My resignation. Let's get this over with.Copy !req
4. No need to go that far,Copy !req
5. unless there's some personal scandal
I don't know about.Copy !req
6. You set a tiger team on MI5.Copy !req
7. What's that?
I'm not familiar with the jargon.Copy !req
8. A tiger team is a unit employed
to test an organization's defenses.Copy !req
9. So, sort of set a thief to catch a thief.Copy !req
10. Pay someone to check whether
your security systems are any good.Copy !req
11. That's it.Copy !req
12. In that case, yes, I did do that.
Guilty as charged.Copy !req
13. But isn't it more to probe weaknesses,Copy !req
14. test whether said organization
can pass muster under pressure?Copy !req
15. Yes. All of that.Copy !req
16. And how did MI5 fare?Copy !req
17. One of our agents was blackmailed
into breaking into the ParkCopy !req
18. to steal the PM's vetting file.Copy !req
19. So far, so bad. Did they get it?Copy !req
20. - No.
- Shame. I'd love a gander.Copy !req
21. Is it true he gets
his wife to piss on him,Copy !req
22. or is that just a rumor I started?
I forget.Copy !req
23. They got close enough that this counts as
a major security breach on my watch,Copy !req
24. which is why I have to go.Copy !req
25. I don't want you to go, Ingrid.Copy !req
26. Then what do you want?Copy !req
27. Finally.Copy !req
28. You made me look like a muppet
by bringing me a fake diamondCopy !req
29. just so you could sneak into the Park.Copy !req
30. Look, this has just been
one big misunderstanding. Okay?Copy !req
31. Please. For the 1,000th time,Copy !req
32. I believed that Catherine Standish's life
was in danger.Copy !req
33. Relax. Chieftain are handing her over now.
Standish is fine.Copy !req
34. I know she's fine.Copy !req
35. F— God's—Copy !req
36. Come on! Fuck.Copy !req
37. Well played, mate. Well played.
Mission accomplished.Copy !req
38. Tiger team are a roaring success.
And the beers? On me.Copy !req
39. I don't drink.Copy !req
40. Okay, well, have a shandy then.
But a celebration is in order.Copy !req
41. Chieftain beat the spooks.
They're supposed to be the professionals,Copy !req
42. and we turned one of them into our puppet.Copy !req
43. This is great for business.Copy !req
44. Gonna get a lot of contracts out of this.
A lot.Copy !req
45. And you, my friend, can have first dibs.Copy !req
46. I think I might have a rest after this.Copy !req
47. Okay. Well, let me know. Well done, son.Copy !req
48. Who is this? Am I going with him?Copy !req
49. Maybe you don't know.
You're obviously not in charge.Copy !req
50. Miss Standish, I'm here to take you
wherever you want to go.Copy !req
51. She's not getting out, you're getting in.Copy !req
52. What the fuck are you doing?Copy !req
53. The operation is over.
This isn't part of—Copy !req
54. Hands on your head.Copy !req
55. Don't.Copy !req
56. Hands on head.Copy !req
57. Have you lost your fucking mind?Copy !req
58. Take his gun. Tie him up.Copy !req
59. You move over, please.Copy !req
60. - Stop!
- No!Copy !req
61. Come on! Fucking come on!Copy !req
62. The fuck are you playing at?Copy !req
63. Perfect. Brilliant.Copy !req
64. - Head down.
- All right. Fucking hell.Copy !req
65. - Yeah?
- Yeah.Copy !req
66. So am I now an actual hostage?Copy !req
67. MI5 has become rather stuck in its ways.Copy !req
68. So I'll be bringing in advisers from
the private sector who can helpCopy !req
69. with streamlining and efficiency
so that the taxpayer gets value for money.Copy !req
70. I see. And am I to assume
these people will be from Chieftain?Copy !req
71. Having just got the better of
your security systems,Copy !req
72. I feel that they're more than qualified to
tell you where you might be going wrong.Copy !req
73. The CEO is an old friend of yours.Copy !req
74. I happened to be at school
with Sly Monteith,Copy !req
75. but I was at school with a lot of people.Copy !req
76. Do you have
any financial links to the firm?Copy !req
77. That's a very impertinent question,
Ingrid, and one I'm unable to answer.Copy !req
78. As you know, all my financial assets
have been placed in a blind trust.Copy !req
79. If you have any more questions,Copy !req
80. I wonder if I should fish
that letter out of the binCopy !req
81. and give Diana Taverner a call.Copy !req
82. No, that won't be necessary.Copy !req
83. Good. I look forward to
a new phase in our relationship...Copy !req
84. in which I am the daddy.Copy !req
85. Jesus. Elton John live bootlegs.Copy !req
86. I'll have to borrow this.
Cure for my insomnia.Copy !req
87. God, you're ignorant.Copy !req
88. The greatest songwriter of
the last 50 years, Elton John.Copy !req
89. - God, this is boring.
- Geez, it's like being out with my kids.Copy !req
90. What, you check gambling websites
when you're out with your kids?Copy !req
91. Looking after their financial security.Copy !req
92. By remortgaging?Copy !req
93. Ho told me.Copy !req
94. I'm remortgaging
'cause we're getting the loft done.Copy !req
95. Nothing to do with my gambling.Copy !req
96. Not that it's any of
your fucking business, by the way.Copy !req
97. You're the one that wanted to partner up.Copy !req
98. You're hardly selling yourself
as a prospect.Copy !req
99. - At least I don't get high on the job.
- I never get high on the job.Copy !req
100. God, you're always here
to bring me right fucking down.Copy !req
101. - Hey, where you going? Why?
- In there.Copy !req
102. To see what we can learn
about the man that's got Standish.Copy !req
103. We don't have a warrant.Copy !req
104. We didn't have one for Catherine's flat.Copy !req
105. That's different. We knew her, and
technically, we shouldn't have done it.Copy !req
106. Stay in the car then.Copy !req
107. Shut up.Copy !req
108. - Come on.
- Fuck's sake.Copy !req
109. God, you're so good at this.Copy !req
110. Can you just wait a second?Copy !req
111. Just leave it.Copy !req
112. Seriously?Copy !req
113. See? Easy.Copy !req
114. Just in case you're stupid enough
to still be sitting on Donovan's flat,Copy !req
115. you can get back to the office.
It was a tiger team.Copy !req
116. They took Standish to pressure
Cartwright to break into the Park.Copy !req
117. Shit. Did he do it?Copy !req
118. Yep.Copy !req
119. Lamb. Catherine was taken by a tiger team.Copy !req
120. What, so we staked this place out
and broke in for no reason?Copy !req
121. Well, at least it got us
out of the office.Copy !req
122. - We better get back there.
- I'm gonna take a piss before we leave.Copy !req
123. Make it quick.Copy !req
124. I'll take as long as I like, thanks.Copy !req
125. If you like listening to women pee,
I think there's websites for that.Copy !req
126. You need to come and see this.Copy !req
127. So what? It's just the planning
for the tiger team op.Copy !req
128. Knew they were watching us.Copy !req
129. There's another wall.Copy !req
130. "Grey Books"?Copy !req
131. Yeah.
MI5 compendium of conspiracy theories.Copy !req
132. Yeah, I know what
the Grey Books are. Thanks.Copy !req
133. But what's this bullshit got to do
with Catherine?Copy !req
134. - Where are those from?
- Donovan's flat.Copy !req
135. What are you doing in there?
I told you it was a tiger team.Copy !req
136. Yeah. Well,
we were kind of already in here.Copy !req
137. So Sean Donovan's a conspiracy nut
with a phase two?Copy !req
138. Yeah. Phase two is the Grey Books,
MI5 compendium of conspiracy—Copy !req
139. Yeah. I know what the Grey Books are.Copy !req
140. Right. Well, it looks like
he's gonna keep hold of StandishCopy !req
141. till he gets a look at them.Copy !req
142. Well, document everything
and get it to Ho. Right?Copy !req
143. And do not let anyone outside
of Slough House know about thisCopy !req
144. until I've worked out how much of
a nut bag Donovan is.Copy !req
145. - You're fucking mad, you are.
- Yep.Copy !req
146. Through there.Copy !req
147. Stairs.Copy !req
148. There's a similarity
between you and that other man.Copy !req
149. - Is that a coincidence?
- Shut up.Copy !req
150. Clearly a sore point, which makes me
think it's not a coincidence.Copy !req
151. I said, "Shut up."Copy !req
152. You didn't have to look
for the light switch,Copy !req
153. so this is your house, isn't it?
Your family home.Copy !req
154. And that other man must be Ben,
so you're either Sarah or Alison.Copy !req
155. Stinking pile of dog shit.Copy !req
156. Smile.Copy !req
157. Let's see what Chieftain make of this.Copy !req
158. They'll rain blood and fire on you.Copy !req
159. Oh, yeah. Can't wait. Get in.Copy !req
160. Sit tight. Wait it out, and it'll be fine.Copy !req
161. How long before Chieftain call?Copy !req
162. No idea.Copy !req
163. Now we've got one of yours
and one of MI5's.Copy !req
164. If you want them both released unharmed,
you need to do exactly what we say.Copy !req
165. Are you listening?Copy !req
166. Lamb.Copy !req
167. Well, you got nerve.Copy !req
168. First you turn Slough House into
a sorting office, then you stand me up.Copy !req
169. Well, they're doing a total
security reset. It's mayhem down there.Copy !req
170. Yeah, I can see that. What's the fallout?Copy !req
171. Remains to be seen.
Tearney's with Judd as we speak.Copy !req
172. Well, what are you doing?
Measuring curtains for her office?Copy !req
173. I have learned never to underestimate
Dame Ingrid. She is a survivor.Copy !req
174. Yeah, she is,
and Judd may have crowed too soon.Copy !req
175. Tiger team's gone rogue.
They won't let Standish go.Copy !req
176. Why on earth not?
Surely the operation is completed.Copy !req
177. Well, I thought they might have already
been in touch. They want the Grey Books.Copy !req
178. They told you that?Copy !req
179. No, kidnapper's wall planner.
Name of Sean Donovan.Copy !req
180. Well, I haven't heard anything.Copy !req
181. And if they were demanding the Grey Books,Copy !req
182. I'd know 'cause they've been relocated
to the facility under my supervision.Copy !req
183. Yeah, which means
they're one up from toilet paper.Copy !req
184. In return for the heads-up,
I would like Cartwright back.Copy !req
185. As I'm sure you're aware,Copy !req
186. I do not have command of
the Dogs right now.Copy !req
187. Send him out, Diana, or I'm coming in.Copy !req
188. Get up.Copy !req
189. Get up!Copy !req
190. You know, I'm kinda fine down here,
you know?Copy !req
191. I'm not gonna ask you again.
River, get up.Copy !req
192. Whatever issues you have—Copy !req
193. That you clearly have,
that you're working through—Copy !req
194. Maybe you should just talk to someone.Copy !req
195. Because based on this, I just— I don't
think violence is making you happy.Copy !req
196. Don't know why you're crying, son.
You got nothing between your legs.Copy !req
197. Yeah, you need to get this
out of your system quicklyCopy !req
198. before Lamb comes to get me.Copy !req
199. You think I give a fuck about Lamb?Copy !req
200. I kinda do, actually. Yeah.Copy !req
201. What is he, some sort of twisted fucking
father figure to you?Copy !req
202. Because you never knew your own dad,Copy !req
203. and you'll never fucking be as good
as your grandfather, eh?Copy !req
204. You wanna hit me, don't you?Copy !req
205. You want to have a fucking swing at me?Copy !req
206. Come on, champ!
Fucking have at it! Come on.Copy !req
207. Sorry.Copy !req
208. Attack a senior agent now?Copy !req
209. A head Dog. Nah.Copy !req
210. No, that would definitely
get me kicked out.Copy !req
211. So you have at it, champ.Copy !req
212. Because any minute now,
that door is gonna openCopy !req
213. and I'm just gonna walk right out of here.Copy !req
214. And until then,
I can take whatever it is you've got.Copy !req
215. Are you feeling what—Copy !req
216. Come in!Copy !req
217. Right. Right on cue.
My ticket out of here.Copy !req
218. Got his bollocks yet?Copy !req
219. Yeah, I've softened him up for ya.Copy !req
220. No, wait, listen— Whoa.Copy !req
221. Look, I know we've had our differences,Copy !req
222. but I've just gotta warn you,
I do have very tough balls.Copy !req
223. And I'm only saying that because you're—Copy !req
224. Okay, let's get this to Ho,
see what he can turn up.Copy !req
225. He's just gonna read this
and agree with most of it.Copy !req
226. Probably wrote some of it.Copy !req
227. - Police!
- We're in here.Copy !req
228. - Did Lamb send you?
- Whoa.Copy !req
229. Don't know a Lamb.Copy !req
230. Neighbor called.
Said he saw you creeping in.Copy !req
231. - Wait. This is a crime scene.
- Idiots.Copy !req
232. - Yeah. You done a burglary.
- We're MI5.Copy !req
233. Yeah. Check my pockets.Copy !req
234. So I can get spiked by a junkie needle?
No, thanks.Copy !req
235. Do I look like a junkie?
Look, I've got an MI5 ID in my pocket.Copy !req
236. Check it now
before it gets really bad for you.Copy !req
237. Check his. I'll check hers.Copy !req
238. - Yeah, or you could make some calls.
- In the back pocket. Right there.Copy !req
239. Okay, boss. Looks legit.Copy !req
240. What's this then?Copy !req
241. Got to be fucking kidding me.Copy !req
242. - I'm undercover. I've got it for a sting.
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
243. Jackson Lamb?Copy !req
244. - Maybe.
- This is Officer Moseley of the Met.Copy !req
245. I'm calling 'cause I've arrested
Marcus Longridge and Shirley DanderCopy !req
246. for breaking and entering,
and possession of class-A drugs.Copy !req
247. Uh-huh.Copy !req
248. Longridge says he had the go-ahead
from you to enter the flat,Copy !req
249. and Dander says
the drugs were for a sting.Copy !req
250. All right, you can let 'em go
and then give 'em a message.Copy !req
251. Yeah, go ahead.Copy !req
252. Yeah. Uh-huh.Copy !req
253. Sorry about that. You're free to go.Copy !req
254. No hard feelings. Just doing your job.Copy !req
255. - Flush it.
- You don't need it for your sting?Copy !req
256. Flush it.Copy !req
257. Before you go, Lamb had a message for you.Copy !req
258. "You're fucking fired.Copy !req
259. I got fucking hemorrhoids
that are more fucking use than you."Copy !req
260. Got some rubbish for you.Copy !req
261. What kept you?Copy !req
262. Thanks for giving him a good kicking.
Saves me the bother.Copy !req
263. You're gonna bring me that diamond
and the name of the idiot fucking horseCopy !req
264. that took it,
or I'm gonna come over there,Copy !req
265. and I'm gonna open you up
like a tin of beans. Do you hear me?Copy !req
266. I'm trying to place you. You—Copy !req
267. You're the bloke that walks
around our local park picking up dog shit.Copy !req
268. We danced once.Copy !req
269. Next time I'll put you down.Copy !req
270. Dream on, sir.Copy !req
271. I could take you down with an eyelash.Copy !req
272. Right. Before you say anything,Copy !req
273. what would you have done
if you'd been sent that?Copy !req
274. Well, I'd done what they said.
Then once they let her go,Copy !req
275. I'd have killed every one of the bastards.Copy !req
276. - Yes, mate?
- Chelsea, please, mate.Copy !req
277. If they threatened to kill you,
on the other hand,Copy !req
278. I'd buy 'em a beer and the bullets.Copy !req
279. Hang on a minute, mate.Copy !req
280. Wait, what are you doing?
Come on, out you get.Copy !req
281. Why? Where are you going?Copy !req
282. Chelsea. Did you not hear me?Copy !req
283. Where am I going?Copy !req
284. Go meet Louisa at Chieftain.Copy !req
285. They're the twats behind all of this.
She'll fill you in.Copy !req
286. But the headline is they hired a team with
a hidden agenda, still holding Standish.Copy !req
287. Is it not on the way?
Can I not just come with you?Copy !req
288. Yes...Copy !req
289. and no.Copy !req
290. Ma'am.Copy !req
291. - Afternoon, ma'am.
- I need to address the hub.Copy !req
292. It seems Cartwright
got out through the car park.Copy !req
293. Yeah.Copy !req
294. So, I thought we could start
an interim report, ma'am.Copy !req
295. Yeah.Copy !req
296. I paused comms for your address.Copy !req
297. As many of you are aware,
there was an incursion this morning.Copy !req
298. An uncleared agent acquired access
to a restricted area.Copy !req
299. This was part of an exercise that neither
I nor anyone else in MI5 was aware of.Copy !req
300. An exercise we failed.Copy !req
301. Pending this, there will be a full review
of security systems.Copy !req
302. Back to work.Copy !req
303. You're still here. Well done.Copy !req
304. Do you mean that?Copy !req
305. We've had our differences, Ingrid,Copy !req
306. but I would hate to see you forced out
by someone like Judd.Copy !req
307. My ultimate loyalty lies
with you and the Service.Copy !req
308. I can't believe I'm saying that out loud.Copy !req
309. Well, I'm not sure how long I'll last.Copy !req
310. Given he now has this failure to use
to push me around.Copy !req
311. What does he want?Copy !req
312. To bring in the private sector.Copy !req
313. Specifically Chieftain.Copy !req
314. He'll never get that through. Not now.Copy !req
315. There's been a holdup.Copy !req
316. Lamb says the tiger team have
their own agenda.Copy !req
317. Have they made contact
with him over Standish?Copy !req
318. No, he found a flat with their prep.Copy !req
319. Apparently they want to see
the Grey Books.Copy !req
320. Well, that's never gonna happen.Copy !req
321. Have you heard anything from Chieftain
about any of this?Copy !req
322. Not a peep. Do you want me to ask?Copy !req
323. No.Copy !req
324. If there's any mess, it's theirs.Copy !req
325. They can clean it up.Copy !req
326. That's what I thought.Copy !req
327. Thank you, Diana. We have to limit
the collateral damage here.Copy !req
328. Poor Standish.Copy !req
329. I wasn't meaning her,
I was talking about us. But yes.Copy !req
330. Hopefully she'll come through unscathed.Copy !req
331. Good afternoon, sir.Copy !req
332. Afternoon, Sly.Copy !req
333. Fuck me. This is bigger than my flat.Copy !req
334. Do you mind if I smoke?Copy !req
335. Yes.Copy !req
336. So, Sly.Copy !req
337. Now, that's a terrible name.
What's it short for? Slime?Copy !req
338. I don't know who you are,Copy !req
339. but you should know
that I own a private security firm,Copy !req
340. which means I have some
very dangerous people in my pay.Copy !req
341. Yeah. Too fucking right they're dangerous.Copy !req
342. That Sean Donovan, one of your
tiger team, is an absolute fruit basket.Copy !req
343. Catherine Standish.Copy !req
344. One of my team, in case
you're wondering why I give a shit.Copy !req
345. I see.Copy !req
346. No, I don't think you do.Copy !req
347. Donovan's gone rogue.Copy !req
348. Won't let Standish go
until he's had a look at the Grey Books.Copy !req
349. Standish should have been released
hours ago.Copy !req
350. Oh, well, it hasn't happened.Copy !req
351. And what the fuck are the Grey Books?Copy !req
352. The Grey Books examine every
conspiracy theory from the last 100 years.Copy !req
353. And, you know, surprise, surprise,
decide that they're all bollocks.Copy !req
354. But there are some nut cases out there
who think the Grey Books will prove thatCopy !req
355. Elvis shot JFK,
and Hitler built the pyramids.Copy !req
356. I don't know anything about this.Copy !req
357. Jesus Christ. This is a fucking disaster.Copy !req
358. Yeah, ain't it just.
That's why I thought I'd pay you a visit.Copy !req
359. And nothing's happening, you see.Copy !req
360. No Standish,
no request for the Grey Books.Copy !req
361. Nothing.Copy !req
362. I need it all unblocked.Copy !req
363. Yeah, speaking of which—Copy !req
364. Anyway,Copy !req
365. get it sorted.Copy !req
366. I imagine neither of us wanna see
the other again.Copy !req
367. Fucking hell. Oh, God,
I hope that don't go into the groundwater.Copy !req
368. Here, you wanna keep that? Mask the smell?Copy !req
369. No.Copy !req
370. I advise you to leave quickly.Copy !req
371. I'd advise you to leave the windows open.Copy !req
372. What the hell happened to you?Copy !req
373. Just Duffy.Copy !req
374. Then Hobbs.Copy !req
375. What? Did they beat you up?Copy !req
376. Yes, obviously.Copy !req
377. - Wow.
- So why are we here then?Copy !req
378. Lamb wants us to get Chieftain's file
on the op,Copy !req
379. background on Donovan and the team.Copy !req
380. Seems that they have their own agenda.Copy !req
381. - Are they gonna give that to us?
- Yeah, they are. We're MI5.Copy !req
382. Who the fuck are they?Copy !req
383. A multimillion-pound security firm
with connections to the Home Secretary.Copy !req
384. Well, I don't give a shit.
Bankrupting myself having four coffees,Copy !req
385. hanging out here watching these cocks
swan in and out. So, come on.Copy !req
386. Hey, listen, fuckers.Copy !req
387. Yeah, you've kept me waiting there
for hours, and I want answers.Copy !req
388. You people— You can't put me
through the wringer like that, yeah,Copy !req
389. and expect it to be all smoothed over
with a fucking phone call.Copy !req
390. I want money. I want moola, moola.
You understand? I don't—Copy !req
391. - I know, actually—
- Hey! Whoa.Copy !req
392. - What are you doing here?
- Oh, my God. River.Copy !req
393. - And the lovely Louisa.
- Go fuck yourself.Copy !req
394. Need to speak to whoever's
in charge of this morning's op.Copy !req
395. - I'll see if they're free.
- What? Okay. What?Copy !req
396. So you jump when MI5 ask,
but Joe Public can go whistle, can he?Copy !req
397. - Fuck's sake.
- Shut up.Copy !req
398. Listen.Copy !req
399. So, you— you know it was a tiger team?Copy !req
400. I do now, yeah. I didn't when
I was standing on that bridgeCopy !req
401. with a fucking sniper sight on my chest.Copy !req
402. These people—
They've been paid a fortune for this op.Copy !req
403. And after what I've been through,
I want a taste.Copy !req
404. You should get some too.Copy !req
405. Hey, do you wanna go in together?
Whatever they offer we ask for triple.Copy !req
406. No, I'm fine, mate.Copy !req
407. - Hey.
- I'm here to do a job.Copy !req
408. Hey, I know we've had our history, right?Copy !req
409. But for once we're on the same side.
We both got played.Copy !req
410. You always get played, Spider.Copy !req
411. There's a good point.Copy !req
412. Did you get the file?Copy !req
413. No. But I coulda done.Copy !req
414. Lamb pulled me out.Copy !req
415. How's your sister then? Is she okay?Copy !req
416. She's fine, mate. Standish okay?Copy !req
417. Well, there's been a bit of a holdup.Copy !req
418. But of course can't go into that
because you're not in the Service anymore.Copy !req
419. - So. Yeah.
- That's told me.Copy !req
420. Talking of which—Copy !req
421. I know we never had a chance to chat afterCopy !req
422. - that whole disaster with the Russians.
- No, save it.Copy !req
423. No, this is long overdue, and I—Copy !req
424. I feel terrible that I didn't reach out
and say this earlier.Copy !req
425. But...Copy !req
426. I forgive you.Copy !req
427. - Excuse me?
- I got shotCopy !req
428. while you were running security,
but I forgive you.Copy !req
429. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
430. - He's not worth it, is he?
- You can go through now.Copy !req
431. The Command and Control Executive Officer
is ready to speak to you.Copy !req
432. God, that's a twat-y title.Copy !req
433. - That's the private sector for you.
- If you'd like to follow me.Copy !req
434. Mr. Webb,
you can come through now as well.Copy !req
435. So you were a while in hospital then?Copy !req
436. Couple of months.Copy !req
437. Lucky for some.Copy !req
438. I'm truly sorry for your loss.Copy !req
439. I heard you quit
before they could fire you.Copy !req
440. Not quite in that order.
They gave me the option.Copy !req
441. Slough House or leave the Service.
So I left.Copy !req
442. - No offense.
- Literally none taken.Copy !req
443. So where are you working now then?Copy !req
444. Well...Copy !req
445. here.Copy !req
446. Say hello to your Command
and Control Executive Officer.Copy !req
447. You fucking— Fuck off.Copy !req
448. I weren't lying.Copy !req
449. I am here for compensation.
A big, fat fucking bonus.Copy !req
450. I should split it with ya, but I won't.Copy !req
451. How'd you know we were coming?Copy !req
452. Didn't.
Saw you outside staking the place out,Copy !req
453. told everyone to play along
if you came in and you did...Copy !req
454. with Cart-wrong.Copy !req
455. - The gods are smiling on me today.
- Oh, my God, you're so pathetic.Copy !req
456. - Am I?
- Yeah.Copy !req
457. With my six-figure private sector salary,
company car, and massive penis.Copy !req
458. Thank you, River.
Thank you. You were magnificent.Copy !req
459. Judd wanted Chieftain to run
a tiger team on the Park.Copy !req
460. They reached out to me as an ex-employeeCopy !req
461. and set me the task of selecting
the biggest sucker on the books.Copy !req
462. I got to say, it didn't take long.Copy !req
463. R to the I to the V-E-R.Copy !req
464. God, you know what?Copy !req
465. I almost feel guilty about accepting
that huge consultancy feeCopy !req
466. for literally a minute's work.Copy !req
467. I knew you'd take the bait again.Copy !req
468. Tear off and try and be a hero.Copy !req
469. River, please believe me.
Please believe me.Copy !req
470. They're gonna kill my sister
and her— her— her kids.Copy !req
471. Rafer, you fucker.
Come here, mate. Come here.Copy !req
472. Oh, mate.Copy !req
473. Rafer was the sniper. Show 'em your rifle.Copy !req
474. Nice one, mate.Copy !req
475. Oh, God.Copy !req
476. You don't even have a sister, do you?Copy !req
477. No, I do. But we haven't spoken
in years. She's a total bitch.Copy !req
478. Are you gonna give us your files
on Donovan and the team?Copy !req
479. Nah. You can kiss my unwashed anus.Copy !req
480. Je— They're not letting her go, Spider.Copy !req
481. All under control.Copy !req
482. Now, if you'll excuse me,Copy !req
483. the boss and I have a lunch
with the Home Secretary.Copy !req
484. I'm gonna be part of an advisory committee
on improving MI5's efficiency.Copy !req
485. Do you wanna know my first recommendation?
It's a good one.Copy !req
486. Shut down Slough House.Copy !req
487. - I'm gonna fucking break your neck you f—
- All right. Let's go.Copy !req
488. You should be thanking me.Copy !req
489. You don't want to be there, River, mate.
Time to move on to your true calling.Copy !req
490. Shoving fruit up your arse on OnlyFans.Copy !req
491. If you ever want a job, Guy,
just drop me a line.Copy !req
492. You'll at least get an interview.
Microphone drop.Copy !req
493. It's mic drop you—Copy !req
494. Yeah! Yes, mate. Love it.Copy !req
495. - Fucking Spider.
- Fucking you.Copy !req
496. - What?
- It was Spider, again.Copy !req
497. - You should have known.
- What do you mean I should've known?Copy !req
498. - So fucking humiliating.
- How did—Copy !req
499. Literally the number of timesCopy !req
500. I wanted to punch him in the face
and that— It was just better.Copy !req
501. It was better than a punch in the face.
It was better than a dart in the face.Copy !req
502. Do you know what I'm saying?
You just missed Cartwright. It was butane.Copy !req
503. I have just been threatened
by a Jackson fucking LambCopy !req
504. because Standish is still being held.Copy !req
505. - Oh, that?
- What do you mean, "Oh, that"?Copy !req
506. You told me it had
all gone like clockwork.Copy !req
507. It has and it will.Copy !req
508. Nothing is gonna happen to Standish
or our guy that they're holding.Copy !req
509. What guy?Copy !req
510. Jesus. This gets worse and worse.
Tell me where we're at. No bullshit.Copy !req
511. It's actually quite—Copy !req
512. Anyway, they demanded a meet with me,
due to begin shortly,Copy !req
513. from where I will escort them
to have a look at somethingCopy !req
514. - called the Grey Books.
- Yes. Lamb told me about the Grey Books.Copy !req
515. How does Lamb know?Copy !req
516. Oh, God knows.
He seems to know everything.Copy !req
517. What are you going to do?Copy !req
518. Well, not show, obviously.Copy !req
519. They have two fucking hostages,
and you propose to stand them up?Copy !req
520. There is no way MI5 are gonna
open up the Grey Books for them.Copy !req
521. And they're not
actually gonna kill anyone.Copy !req
522. They'll realize they're making twats
of themselves and release her soon enough.Copy !req
523. You're going to the meet.
I want this sorted.Copy !req
524. We have our lunch with Judd.Copy !req
525. No. I have a lunch with Judd.Copy !req
526. You're not going unless our guy
and Standish are both released.Copy !req
527. How am I supposed to do that?Copy !req
528. You're ex-MI5.
Pull some strings or pay them off.Copy !req
529. - With what?
- Your fucking fee. I don't give a shit.Copy !req
530. Donovan really believes some of this shit.Copy !req
531. As do I, by the way.
There's no way we've been to the Moon.Copy !req
532. He posts on conspiracy sites
under a handle, obviously.Copy !req
533. I might have even interacted with him.Copy !req
534. Where would a twat
like Peter Judd have lunch?Copy !req
535. What's that?Copy !req
536. That's my beautiful bonus,
which I'm giving you.Copy !req
537. It's not about money.Copy !req
538. Fuck off. It's always about money.Copy !req
539. By the way, did you bribe Taverner
to ring me with that reference?Copy !req
540. She got me the job at Chieftain.
Christ knows why she wanted you.Copy !req
541. - I want to see the Grey Books.
- Not gonna happen.Copy !req
542. - Then we have a problem.
- Okay. I've tried the carrot.Copy !req
543. - Do you want me to get out the stick?
- I'm the one with the stick.Copy !req
544. We have two hostages. If you wanna see
them again, you know what you have to do.Copy !req
545. Sorry. Can we just cut the bullshit, okay?Copy !req
546. They're not hostages,
and you're not gonna do anything to them.Copy !req
547. It's just a game, mate.
A big fucking stupid game.Copy !req
548. Now, I don't know why you're doing this,
and I don't care, but I want it to stop.Copy !req
549. Don't walk away from me, dickhead. Stop.Copy !req
550. I command you to stop.Copy !req
551. I'm late for a lunch
at Anna Livia's with the Home Secretary.Copy !req
552. I can't show my face
until Standish is released.Copy !req
553. Now stop fucking around
and tell me where she is.Copy !req
554. Go to your lunch.Copy !req
555. Enjoy your hors d'oeuvres.Copy !req
556. But don't play the big man,
you slick twat.Copy !req
557. I'm not gonna take lessons on being a man
from someone who couldn't hold it togetherCopy !req
558. when their secret fuck buddy
killed herself.Copy !req
559. Yeah, I read your file, twat.Copy !req
560. Now listen to me. I—Copy !req
561. And I'd advise you to stay down.Copy !req
562. Hey.Copy !req
563. Hey.Copy !req
564. You sure it makes sense to keep Tearney?Copy !req
565. Well, for the time being.Copy !req
566. We need to make sure the cultural changes
you propose are bedded in enoughCopy !req
567. that her successor cannot reverse them.Copy !req
568. Your guest, Mr. Webb, is here.Copy !req
569. Send him over.Copy !req
570. I reminded him
the dress code is smart-casual,Copy !req
571. but he was quite curt and dismissive.Copy !req
572. I will allow it because he's your guest,
but if you could have a word...Copy !req
573. What the fuck are you doing here?Copy !req
574. I have to keep going higher up
to get this sorted out.Copy !req
575. Fuck me. Every ponce and his brother.Copy !req
576. I thought the tiger team operation
was successfully concluded.Copy !req
577. It is. Small hiccup.
Webb is dealing with it.Copy !req
578. Well, once you've delivered her back,
I'll leave you be. Give us a chip.Copy !req
579. I'm not sure we've ever properly met.Copy !req
580. Yeah, well, it feels like we have.Copy !req
581. I've met plenty of your sort before.Copy !req
582. If you've come to tell me
what you think of me,Copy !req
583. I should warn you,
I have an incredibly thick skin.Copy !req
584. So your barbs might not wound
as much as you hope.Copy !req
585. I'm sorry to disappoint.
I don't think of you at all.Copy !req
586. Christ, that's good.Copy !req
587. How much does that cost?Copy !req
588. More than your monthly salary.Copy !req
589. What do you want? Other than Standish.Copy !req
590. I just wanna be left alone.Copy !req
591. But then you came along
and fucked with my chi.Copy !req
592. You see, Standish runs my diary.Copy !req
593. Now, without her, I don't really know
what I'm supposed to be doing.Copy !req
594. So I've got all this spare time
to come and fuck with you.Copy !req
595. Check his pulse.Copy !req
596. I can't find a pulse.Copy !req
597. His airways are clear,
but he's not breathing.Copy !req
598. Jesus Christ. That's Webb.Copy !req
599. Who was it who said,Copy !req
600. "You cannot reason with a tiger
when your head is in its mouth"?Copy !req
601. Churchill.Copy !req
602. But that won't be Webb calling,Copy !req
603. seeing as he's now
outside impersonating roadkill.Copy !req
604. No, that'll be your tiger team,
looking for your head.Copy !req