1. I met a girl I like today.
She's like... beautiful.Copy !req
2. Emily Fitch...Copy !req
3. Emms, you oughta spruce up, yeah?
Get some decent threads like Katie.Copy !req
4. Katie Fitch...Copy !req
5. Well, here it comes. She tried to
snog my sister at middle school.Copy !req
6. Naomi Campbell...Copy !req
7. People tell lies about me.Copy !req
8. Jonah Jeremia Jones...Copy !req
9. Prestissimo!Copy !req
10. James Cook...Copy !req
11. Pandora Moon...Copy !req
12. Bonkers!Copy !req
13. Elizabeth Stonem...Copy !req
14. Maybe we could get
to know each other.Copy !req
15. Fill in the form. First one to fill
it out gets to... get to know me.Copy !req
16. Grab my balls...Copy !req
17. Grab my balls... Grab my
balls... balls.Copy !req
18. EXCITED PANTINGCopy !req
19. Contains very strong language,
drug taking, violence
and scenes of a sexual nature.Copy !req
20. Get on home...Copy !req
21. Dude, calm down a bit.
It's like five o'clock.Copy !req
22. Neighbours hasn't even started yet.Copy !req
23. Sorry. Actually, no, not sorry.Copy !req
24. I'm so fucking stoked, man.Copy !req
25. I'M 17 TODAY!Copy !req
26. That's an event horizon,
that's a milestone.Copy !req
27. Isn't 18 traditionally the age...Copy !req
28. Fuck tradition.Copy !req
29. Just hope some people turn up.Copy !req
30. They'll come.Copy !req
31. You invited half the college.Copy !req
32. All I know is that it
involves my dick getting damp.Copy !req
33. What are you looking at,
you posh student bastards?Copy !req
34. Fuck off back to playgroup.Copy !req
35. Fucking wankers, come here.
Come here...Copy !req
36. Come on, leave it. Forget 'em.Copy !req
37. Ah, we're here.Copy !req
38. Best pub in the west.Copy !req
39. Hello boys.Copy !req
40. All right, Christina.Copy !req
41. Ay, ay lads,
here's the birthday boy.Copy !req
42. Did you do all this?Copy !req
43. Took me a long time, a good
forty, forty five minutes.Copy !req
44. Ooh.Copy !req
45. You all right?Copy !req
46. Touch of pain in the privates,
it's the old whore wound.Copy !req
47. Nothing I can't handle.Copy !req
48. Oh, these are me boys, Freddie, JJ.
Boys, this is Uncle Keith.Copy !req
49. Hello.Copy !req
50. Pull my finger!Copy !req
51. HE FARTSCopy !req
52. You dirty old bugger!Copy !req
53. If you'd be so kind, Christina?Copy !req
54. Right you are, big boy.Copy !req
55. And when I woke up, the pool
was three feet deep in piss.Copy !req
56. Mum, I shouted, don't jump in!
But it was too late.Copy !req
57. So, you and the Buxton Rovers under
21s managed to do that in one night?Copy !req
58. Just me, the lads, and a shit
load of all-inclusive mild.Copy !req
59. And they never pinned it on me.Copy !req
60. Plus, you got to remember,
this was 1962.Copy !req
61. I mean, Pontin's was a fairly
permissive place back then.Copy !req
62. Bit like Afghanistan in the '70s.Copy !req
63. But with the Krankies
and slightly more Taliban.Copy !req
64. Tell that one where you hit
Bob Dylan over the headCopy !req
65. with a box of fish fingers.Copy !req
66. Another time. I've gotta go
and see a man about a dog.Copy !req
67. A dog filled with drugs.Copy !req
68. See you boys. Oh,
happy birthday, Cookie.Copy !req
69. That, my friends, is what you
call a legend.Copy !req
70. To who, exactly?Copy !req
71. What?Copy !req
72. Who is he a legend to?Copy !req
73. Me.Copy !req
74. Blokes in pubs. Christina.Copy !req
75. People.Copy !req
76. I think the guy's crazy.Copy !req
77. I think the guy's crazy.
Exactly man. Exactly.Copy !req
78. Same again please, Christina.Copy !req
79. Wey!Copy !req
80. Look, man. Look at that.
Quality totty. That's top shelf shit.Copy !req
81. Guys, guys, hey baby...Copy !req
82. I'm so happy to introduce you to my
legendary night outCopy !req
83. in celebration of my birthday.Copy !req
84. Apart from you.Copy !req
85. But I...Copy !req
86. What are you doing here!
You burnt my house, man! Get out!Copy !req
87. It was an accident. I'm sorry...Copy !req
88. What the fuck!Copy !req
89. I'm 17 today, so all bets are off.
Do what the fuck you like.Copy !req
90. Flush your mates down the toilet.
Eat grapes off each other.Copy !req
91. Smash speakers over your heads.Copy !req
92. If partying's a crime,
who's gonna get arrested first?Copy !req
93. LET'S GO FUCKING MENTAL!Copy !req
94. Way hey hey hey hey!Copy !req
95. Party people!Copy !req
96. Thanks man, thank you very much.Copy !req
97. What's next?Copy !req
98. Oh, yeah. More drinks! More drinks!Copy !req
99. More drinks! More drinks! More
drinks! More drinks! Yeah?Copy !req
100. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah...Copy !req
101. He's fun.Copy !req
102. You have no idea.Copy !req
103. He's already had half
a bottle of vodka.Copy !req
104. Really? How crazy!Copy !req
105. Ha ha ha. Yeah!Copy !req
106. Tequila! Who's in?Copy !req
107. Yeah... OK.Copy !req
108. Anyone else?Copy !req
109. Yeah, go on then. Yeah.Copy !req
110. Airwolf.Copy !req
111. Let's go, man.Copy !req
112. Awoo!Copy !req
113. Awoo!Copy !req
114. Awoo!Copy !req
115. Awoo!Copy !req
116. Awoo!Copy !req
117. Awoo!Copy !req
118. Awooooooooo.Copy !req
119. Awooooo!Copy !req
120. Awooooo!
Awooooo.Copy !req
121. Hey, Cook. Do you
wanna see your birthday trick?Copy !req
122. Lay it on me, magic man.Copy !req
123. One pint of normal drinking water.Copy !req
124. You'll like this one.
I've seen it before.Copy !req
125. What? He does magic?Copy !req
126. Wow!Copy !req
127. Shazam, motherfucker!Copy !req
128. Cook, what you doing?Copy !req
129. That's minging.Copy !req
130. What is wrong with you?Copy !req
131. Yes! Come on!Copy !req
132. Someone's been drinking...Copy !req
133. milkshake?Copy !req
134. Strawberry milkshake. Am I right?Copy !req
135. Yes. How did you know?Copy !req
136. Ah, am I ninja,
or am I not a ninja?Copy !req
137. Christina, we've had rejection.Copy !req
138. We need a bucket, a mopCopy !req
139. and 16 shots of tequilaaaaaa!Copy !req
140. Oh, great, it's the
lesbian come to gay us up.Copy !req
141. Shh... I've told you to fucking...
Just leave it, ok!Copy !req
142. Um. Hi, everyone.Copy !req
143. Hi.Copy !req
144. Want to know a secret?Copy !req
145. What?Copy !req
146. I know the cure.Copy !req
147. The cure for what?Copy !req
148. What the hell are you talking about?Copy !req
149. Hey, look what I made.Copy !req
150. Cake! Top, man, fucking top!Copy !req
151. It's double chocolate chip cookie.Copy !req
152. Cheers, girl. Mmmm.Copy !req
153. Cake. My cake! Mine!Copy !req
154. Mmmm.Copy !req
155. Mmm.Copy !req
156. Fucking good, man...Copy !req
157. Thank you, man.Copy !req
158. Uh! (WHISTLES)Copy !req
159. You OK?Copy !req
160. Yep. Totally cool. Just a bit...Copy !req
161. you know, full.Copy !req
162. Can't believe you
ate the whole thing.Copy !req
163. Well, someone had to
get this party started.Copy !req
164. Party? Do you call this a party?Copy !req
165. Where's the conversation?Copy !req
166. Where's the dancing?
Where are the men?Copy !req
167. We're men.Copy !req
168. You're boys.Copy !req
169. Do you want to measure my dick?
It's daddy-sized.Copy !req
170. So you lot think this party's shit,
yeah?Copy !req
171. It's a little bit...Copy !req
172. It could be...Copy !req
173. It could be...
It's shit.Copy !req
174. Shit.Copy !req
175. Something's got to happen, man.Copy !req
176. Something big.Copy !req
177. Come on, man.Copy !req
178. I'm ready! Just tell me when.Copy !req
179. Give me a sign!Copy !req
180. Oh, yeah! Yeah! Thank you, man...Copy !req
181. What?Copy !req
182. But where are you, I can't hear...Copy !req
183. I don't have anything, OK?Copy !req
184. Who is it?Copy !req
185. My sister, Karen.Copy !req
186. Tell her I said hi.Copy !req
187. No, I haven't got anything, OK?Copy !req
188. You'll have to find your own.
No, I don't have any drugs! Bye.Copy !req
189. Why couldn't you hear her?Copy !req
190. She's at some engagement party.
Her mate Kayleigh's getting hitched.Copy !req
191. So it'll be free bar,
free entry, that kind of thing?Copy !req
192. Yeah, I suppose, why?Copy !req
193. No.Copy !req
194. No, no, no, no, no. No way!Copy !req
195. Why not?Copy !req
196. Cos my sister's there,
and I don't want to see her.Copy !req
197. Plus, she doesn't
like you very much.Copy !req
198. Why not? I'm always touching
her and flirting with her.Copy !req
199. Yeah.Copy !req
200. Yeah.
Her tits stand to attention
when I'm around. I've seen it.Copy !req
201. Listen to me, we're not going. No.Copy !req
202. No. No way.Copy !req
203. Come on everybody, cos,
yeah we going to a party!Copy !req
204. All right?Copy !req
205. Not coming in.Copy !req
206. Why not?Copy !req
207. Why not?
Private party.Copy !req
208. Plus underage.Copy !req
209. Plus don't like look of you.
Not coming in.Copy !req
210. Listen to me, robot.Copy !req
211. You may rank way above me
in terms of strength and size,Copy !req
212. but at least I can love.Copy !req
213. Now can you let me in?Copy !req
214. Not coming in.Copy !req
215. Listen, fate has brought me here.Copy !req
216. Do you understand?
You're not letting fate in the club.Copy !req
217. It's not like fate
is wearing trainers.Copy !req
218. Fate just wants a
couple of drinks, a little dance.Copy !req
219. And fate is actually also desperate
for the toilet. Now can we come in?Copy !req
220. How about you fuck off?Copy !req
221. How about you're a fucking cock?Copy !req
222. I'll fucking break
your fucking face, mate!Copy !req
223. What?Copy !req
224. I said I'll fucking
break your fucking face.Copy !req
225. You'll get your
fucking head kicked in here!Copy !req
226. Come on! Fucking prick.Copy !req
227. Just chill out, yeah?Copy !req
228. I don't think he's
going to let us in.Copy !req
229. Nah, he's just an obstacle.Copy !req
230. We're meant to go this party.Copy !req
231. Fate'll sort it. Just wait.Copy !req
232. Freddie?
What the fuck are you doing here?Copy !req
233. Hi, Karen.Copy !req
234. You can't come in. It's private.Copy !req
235. It's Cook's birthday.Copy !req
236. Unless you've got drugs, fuck off,
and take your friends with you.Copy !req
237. Oh, come on Karen.Copy !req
238. I'll make it up to you, I promise.Copy !req
239. Yeah. Look, it's not my decision.
It's her party.Copy !req
240. I'm getting married.Copy !req
241. Congratulations.Copy !req
242. Jesus.Copy !req
243. Will you let us in?Copy !req
244. Well, there is a pretty strict
dress code.Copy !req
245. How strict exactly?Copy !req
246. Let's cock and roll, baby!Copy !req
247. Isn't it lush?
Daddy says nothing's too good for me.Copy !req
248. You got that right, babe.
So, who you marrying?Copy !req
249. Oh, just some guy.
He's a bit of a twat.Copy !req
250. Ah, cheers, man.Copy !req
251. When she said "party"...Copy !req
252. You thought she meant an acid-fuelled
sex rave without the Mancunians.Copy !req
253. This is more...Copy !req
254. Jelly and ice cream.Copy !req
255. Uhh, get it down you, girls.Copy !req
256. Top freebies, yeah? Love it.Copy !req
257. I hate champagne.Copy !req
258. Then why you fucking
drinking it, then?Copy !req
259. It's free.Copy !req
260. Dad!Copy !req
261. Kaleigh-kins.Copy !req
262. Hi! This is Cookie...Copy !req
263. Finish your drink, kid.Copy !req
264. Have as much as you like.Copy !req
265. Nothing's too good for
my Kayleigh... Right?Copy !req
266. And I wouldn't want
anything to ruin the evening...Copy !req
267. drop the tone...Copy !req
268. Anything at all.Copy !req
269. OK?Copy !req
270. Right you are.Copy !req
271. Enjoy.Copy !req
272. Kayleigh. You're almost a woman...Copy !req
273. Thanks, Daddy.Copy !req
274. Almost.Copy !req
275. See you around, Cookie.Copy !req
276. You twat. Didn't you know?Copy !req
277. Fuck it, man.
I'm just getting started.Copy !req
278. What's the fuss?Copy !req
279. He's Johnny White. The gangster.Copy !req
280. Yeah. Legend.Copy !req
281. He murdered those two nuns
over a pint of Guinness.Copy !req
282. Allegedly.Copy !req
283. I hear he stabbed a policeman in
the neck with a stuffed guillemot.Copy !req
284. That's so not true. It was a puffin.Copy !req
285. So. Who's for narcotics?Copy !req
286. Me.Copy !req
287. Me.Copy !req
288. Me.Copy !req
289. Me?Copy !req
290. What?Copy !req
291. I've decided I love drugs.Copy !req
292. Aah.Copy !req
293. Rum punch.Copy !req
294. What is it?Copy !req
295. Uncle Keith's special blend.Copy !req
296. A hallucinogenic
opiate and stimulant.Copy !req
297. Four hours of THC giggles
and MDMA highsCopy !req
298. with a transcendental kicker.Copy !req
299. Sounds good.Copy !req
300. Well, come on, then. Jesus.Copy !req
301. All in good time, babes.
Weird girl?Copy !req
302. Yeah?Copy !req
303. Yeah?
Hold that.Copy !req
304. Yeah?
Hold that.
Fuck's sakes,
are we getting any or what?Copy !req
305. No, no, no. Wait!Copy !req
306. Hang on, what you doing?Copy !req
307. What?Copy !req
308. Was that wrong?Copy !req
309. Did you just swallow my drugs?Copy !req
310. She's fucking finished it!Copy !req
311. It tastes horrible!Copy !req
312. You're not supposed to eat it!Copy !req
313. It goes up the nose, you twat.Copy !req
314. Let's go fly a kite, girl!Copy !req
315. What about us?Copy !req
316. Well, you can drink
some of the weird girl's blood,Copy !req
317. she's like a walking syringe.Copy !req
318. My mouth's gone all numb.Copy !req
319. I'm not surprised!Copy !req
320. We've done ours, let's go!Copy !req
321. Come on Panders,
we're out of here.Copy !req
322. I said you shouldn't
have let them in.Copy !req
323. I said you shouldn't
have let them in.
Where's the love?Copy !req
324. You're a wanker, James.Copy !req
325. You will get us some more,
won't you, Cookie?Copy !req
326. Yeah.Copy !req
327. Cos if you could,Copy !req
328. that would be - God -Copy !req
329. really, really great.Copy !req
330. I need more class A drugs, quick.Copy !req
331. Why?Copy !req
332. Cos that Kayleigh girl
just gave me the look.Copy !req
333. What sort of look is that?Copy !req
334. This one.Copy !req
335. Right. I see what you mean.Copy !req
336. Freddie, we've got
to get this man some drugs.Copy !req
337. Why? Do the look.Copy !req
338. What does that mean?Copy !req
339. It means I'm getting laid tonight,
Fred.Copy !req
340. Please, not Kayleigh.
Think of me and JJ.Copy !req
341. You're not fucking her.Copy !req
342. I thought you liked Effy.Copy !req
343. Yeah, she's a peach. But I already
tapped that. Top-dollar shag.Copy !req
344. She's my last resort.
Sure thing, I reckon.Copy !req
345. You shagged Effy?Copy !req
346. Oh, come on, Freds.Copy !req
347. When?Copy !req
348. First day I met her.Copy !req
349. Why didn't you tell us?Copy !req
350. Because apart from those times when
my cock is up your arse,Copy !req
351. you have no reason to worry about
where it is the rest of the time.Copy !req
352. But...Copy !req
353. .. JJ likes her.Copy !req
354. I was going to ask her out. I mean,Copy !req
355. she seemed like she liked me.Copy !req
356. You snooze, you lose, dude.
I've got a snakeCopy !req
357. in my dick that's about to throw up.Copy !req
358. Naomi. Wait!Copy !req
359. What?Copy !req
360. Where are you going?Copy !req
361. Home.Copy !req
362. Don't go.Copy !req
363. Why not?Copy !req
364. I dunno. Because...Copy !req
365. Why does your sister think I'm gay?Copy !req
366. Sorry.Copy !req
367. See you around, Emily.Copy !req
368. Thank you. Yes, please.Copy !req
369. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
370. The father of the bride,Copy !req
371. Mr Johnny White.Copy !req
372. So. My daughter's getting marriedCopy !req
373. and she couldn't have chosen
a nicer bloke - Steve Heston.Copy !req
374. Unfortunately, Steve couldn't
attend today without violatingCopy !req
375. the terms of his probation.
He couldn't be here himself,Copy !req
376. but he is well represented
by members of his family.Copy !req
377. Welcome, Hestons. No more rucks.Copy !req
378. No more knives. No more pliers.Copy !req
379. We're gonna be tight
as a badger's bum.Copy !req
380. The Whites and the Hestons brought
together in the marriage bed,Copy !req
381. still fucking each other,
but in a good way.Copy !req
382. Come up here, sweetheart.Copy !req
383. You've kept yourself pure
for so longCopy !req
384. for this task of peace.Copy !req
385. In times of strife,
you've lit up my life,Copy !req
386. and now you're gonna be
Steve's wife.Copy !req
387. And I just want to say...Copy !req
388. Don't she look a picture?Copy !req
389. I could just eat her.Copy !req
390. RHYTHMIC HAND-CLAPPINGCopy !req
391. Right, charge your glasses with
free booze, and raise 'em.Copy !req
392. Kayleigh and Steve.Copy !req
393. Pandora, wake up, you dozy cow.Copy !req
394. Hi. It's me.Copy !req
395. I need a favour.Copy !req
396. Uncle Keith!Copy !req
397. All right, Cookie?Copy !req
398. Cheers.Copy !req
399. Not a problem.Copy !req
400. There you go.Copy !req
401. Direct from Weston-super-Mare.Copy !req
402. You're a lifesaver, Keith.Copy !req
403. Gotta go, Cook.
Gotta see a dog about a bone.Copy !req
404. A bone that is my cock.Copy !req
405. Get it out, then.Copy !req
406. OK.Copy !req
407. Not that. The drugs, idiot.Copy !req
408. Oh, OK.Copy !req
409. Thank you.Copy !req
410. Ooh!Copy !req
411. Is that all you're doing?Copy !req
412. Yep.Copy !req
413. That was a hamster-sized bump.
Don't you want any more?Copy !req
414. No.Copy !req
415. OK.Copy !req
416. So...Copy !req
417. So.Copy !req
418. OK, I'll see you later!Copy !req
419. What? I thought we were gonna bone.Copy !req
420. And what made you think that?Copy !req
421. You've had the drugs
and you gave me the look. What look?Copy !req
422. This one.Copy !req
423. That's the
"I'll fuck for drugs" look.Copy !req
424. Now stop arguing and get on my cock.
No.Copy !req
425. Blow me, then. My dick is clean.Copy !req
426. I don't care! Hand-job?Copy !req
427. But you've got to let me have a go
on your tits whilst you're doing it.Copy !req
428. Listen...Copy !req
429. If anyone's going to get a lick of
my fanny, they'll have to impress me.Copy !req
430. So... if you do...Copy !req
431. I'll let you stick it anywhere.Copy !req
432. My tits, my arse, my armpit...Copy !req
433. anywhere.Copy !req
434. You're filthy.Copy !req
435. Yes, I am.Copy !req
436. And look, no knickers.
Whoops. See ya!Copy !req
437. OK.Copy !req
438. What's he doing now?Copy !req
439. Is he going to sing?Copy !req
440. Yeah.Copy !req
441. Ladies and gentlemen,
I'd like to dedicate thisCopy !req
442. to a very special lady.Copy !req
443. Oh, shit. This is going to be bad.Copy !req
444. Go on, my son.Copy !req
445. I'm upset, Cookie.Copy !req
446. You made me look
like a fucking idiotCopy !req
447. and I'm not used to that, you know?Copy !req
448. and I'm not used to that, you know?
Are you sure?Copy !req
449. Stick him up on there. >Copy !req
450. I wanna teach this fucker
a lesson he'll never forget.Copy !req
451. See? You tried to ruin
my lovely party.Copy !req
452. And now, really really bad things
are gonna happen.Copy !req
453. It was worth it. Her tits were mint.Copy !req
454. Mr... Mr White.Copy !req
455. He's very sorry. I'll take him home,
and we're leaving.Copy !req
456. We don't want to upset your
beautiful daughter any more.Copy !req
457. You're right.Copy !req
458. She is beautiful.Copy !req
459. It's your lucky day.Copy !req
460. Let him go.Copy !req
461. Aaaaargh!Copy !req
462. Aaaaargh!
Not like that, you tossers!Copy !req
463. My fucking dress!Copy !req
464. Fucking hell, Johnny,
you fucking told... Oh, fuck.Copy !req
465. Fucking hell, Johnny,
you fucking told... Oh, fuck.
Oh, God, whoopsey!Copy !req
466. Look at my tracksuit,
you weasely little prick!Copy !req
467. What'd you say?Copy !req
468. You're a weasely cunting prick!Copy !req
469. You fucking Hobbit!Copy !req
470. And we've all fucked your daughter.
Ain't we lads?Copy !req
471. And we've all fucked your daughter.
Ain't we lads?
(ALL) Yeah!Copy !req
472. What'd you fucking say?Copy !req
473. Aaah, fuckers!Copy !req
474. Pffft!Copy !req
475. Get out, get out!Copy !req
476. (THEY COUGH AND WHEEZE) >Copy !req
477. (GASPING) OK. That's far enough.Copy !req
478. Cool party! >Copy !req
479. Cheers.Copy !req
480. You're fucking unbelievable.Copy !req
481. I needed to get laid, man.Copy !req
482. I needed to get laid, man.
You're always fucking
trying to get laid. >Copy !req
483. I try. I succeed. Right?Copy !req
484. Speaking of which,
any of you girls fancy it?Copy !req
485. (LAUGHS) No, thanks.
You're repulsive!Copy !req
486. Weird girl.Copy !req
487. You're beautiful, but no.Copy !req
488. My tuppence feels all funny.Copy !req
489. How about it then, Peachy?Copy !req
490. Looks like it's just me and you.Copy !req
491. Come on, Amy Winehouse. Home.Copy !req
492. See ya!Copy !req
493. Come on, we'll go somewhere else.Copy !req
494. Somewhere with women.Copy !req
495. Nah.Copy !req
496. I ain't going anywhere.Copy !req
497. Why the fuck not?Copy !req
498. Why the fuck not?
I'm tired.Copy !req
499. I'm going home, all right?Copy !req
500. you talking about, "you're tired"?Copy !req
501. I'm tired of you, mate.Copy !req
502. What's that supposed to mean?Copy !req
503. It means I can't look
after you any more.Copy !req
504. I can't do it.Copy !req
505. Oh, fuck you then!Copy !req
506. Coming then?Copy !req
507. Sure.Copy !req
508. Let's go find some fucking women.Copy !req
509. Hey, Cook,Copy !req
510. w-w-what is this place?Copy !req
511. Oh, it's just a club.Copy !req
512. Late night thing, you know?Copy !req
513. Lots of girls. Friendly.Copy !req
514. Oh, OK.Copy !req
515. Oh, my stars and garters!Copy !req
516. All right, my lover?Copy !req
517. (FRENCH ACCENT) Hello boys.
Looking for a sex dance?Copy !req
518. You like Frankie? >Copy !req
519. Hello, darlings.Copy !req
520. She's double jointed.Copy !req
521. So?Copy !req
522. Slinky! But we're actually after...Copy !req
523. the other service.Copy !req
524. Bit of the other?Copy !req
525. Stepping this way, please.Copy !req
526. The other service?Copy !req
527. Yeah. Tonight's your
lucky night, GayJay.Copy !req
528. You get to lose your virginity to
an odds-on moderately pretty girl.Copy !req
529. I'm not sure I want to.Copy !req
530. Listen to me. Are you a fucking
scrawny little mousy queer boy,Copy !req
531. or are you a man with a
functioning set of cock and balls?Copy !req
532. Um...Copy !req
533. the second one.Copy !req
534. Good. Come on, let's get our fuck on.Copy !req
535. So.Copy !req
536. What sort of thing
are you looking for?Copy !req
537. I'd like a woman with big tits.Copy !req
538. And you?Copy !req
539. Er... same thing.Copy !req
540. But not too big, right?Copy !req
541. Yes, I know the perfect girls
for you. >Copy !req
542. Amber! Megan!Copy !req
543. Ha-ha! Yeeaaahh!Copy !req
544. All right, gorgeous? This way.Copy !req
545. And Megan. Here she is.Copy !req
546. Hello!Copy !req
547. Oooh, curly hair! >Copy !req
548. So, will you let me do
anything I ask ya?Copy !req
549. Anything. But it'll cost you, mind.Copy !req
550. How much to whack you up the cracker?Copy !req
551. How much to whack you up the cracker?
Hundred.Copy !req
552. Whoa!Copy !req
553. That's a lot more than I've got.Copy !req
554. How much for your straight ahead,Copy !req
555. run of the mill,
bread and butter shag?Copy !req
556. run of the mill,
bread and butter shag?
75.Copy !req
557. What if I'm really good?Copy !req
558. It don't make no difference,
darling.Copy !req
559. Ok. I'll guess I'll just
have a hand-job then.Copy !req
560. All right.Copy !req
561. This your first time then?Copy !req
562. You got cash on you?Copy !req
563. You got cash on you?
(NERVOUSLY) Mm-hmm.Copy !req
564. Right. Tick sharp!Copy !req
565. Clothes off, we'll get you started.Copy !req
566. Come on then,
let's have a look at it.Copy !req
567. OK.Copy !req
568. You don't have to do
anything you don't want to.Copy !req
569. Could I... kiss you?Copy !req
570. We don't do kissing.Copy !req
571. That's all I want to do.Copy !req
572. Sod it.Copy !req
573. Come on then.Copy !req
574. Could you... show me how?Copy !req
575. I've never really...Copy !req
576. You've never kissed a girl?Copy !req
577. No. Well...Copy !req
578. My mum. My Aunt Lucy.Copy !req
579. Right. Aunt Lucy. >Copy !req
580. I'm sorry.Copy !req
581. Come here.Copy !req
582. That was nice!Copy !req
583. Much better than Aunt Lucy!Copy !req
584. Want to do it again?Copy !req
585. I don't mind.Copy !req
586. Yeah!Copy !req
587. Oh, Jesus, Amber, you've got
liquid fucking fingers!Copy !req
588. Oh, Jesus, Amber, you've got
liquid fucking fingers!
You like that, yeah?Copy !req
589. I like it very much.Copy !req
590. WHIPPING IN NEXT ROOMCopy !req
591. Oh Yeah! Yeah!Copy !req
592. Harder! Harder! >Copy !req
593. MORE WHIPPINGCopy !req
594. Yeah!Copy !req
595. Harder!Copy !req
596. You like that? >Copy !req
597. Harder!Copy !req
598. MORE WHIPPINGCopy !req
599. Who's that? Is that...?Copy !req
600. Oh, that's just Johnny. >Copy !req
601. Greta's regular. Seven inches. >Copy !req
602. Freaky foreskin. Big tipper.Copy !req
603. Naughty boy! >Copy !req
604. Wicked!Copy !req
605. sorry if you're fucking,Copy !req
606. Sorry if you're fucking...Copy !req
607. What kind of
fucking gay shit is this?Copy !req
608. Cook!Copy !req
609. You're supposed to be banging her,
not canoodling!Copy !req
610. Sorry.Copy !req
611. Pay the girl, JJ.Copy !req
612. Something's come up, and I'm not
talking about your willy.Copy !req
613. No, no. No charge.
I can't charge for a kiss.Copy !req
614. Really?Copy !req
615. Actually, no.
That'll be a tenner, please.Copy !req
616. What's going on?Copy !req
617. Sssh!Copy !req
618. You like that? >Copy !req
619. You like that? >
I like it! >Copy !req
620. Madame Greta, say Madame Greta! >Copy !req
621. Madame Greta, say Madame Greta! >
Madame Greta! >Copy !req
622. Electrocution! >Copy !req
623. Electrocution! >
Electrocution! >Copy !req
624. Behind this door is opportunity!Copy !req
625. Not enough! >Copy !req
626. Not enough! >
Enough! Ha-ha! >Copy !req
627. What do you mean? Who's that?Copy !req
628. Yes! Now you stay here,
naughty boy. >Copy !req
629. I'm gonna get the barbed wire. >Copy !req
630. I'm gonna get the barbed wire. >
Quick, hide!Copy !req
631. WHIP CRACKSCopy !req
632. Right. Come on. You're my witness!Copy !req
633. To what?Copy !req
634. (GIGGLING)
This is gonna blow your mind!Copy !req
635. Say cheese!Copy !req
636. What the fuck are you doing here?Copy !req
637. We're visiting, Johnny.Copy !req
638. Look at you!Copy !req
639. Fuck off. I'm busy! >Copy !req
640. Fuck off. I'm busy! >
Shut the fuck up, or I'll fucking
punch you in your fucking cock!Copy !req
641. So. Who'd have thought big bad
gangster man Johnny WhiteCopy !req
642. likes to be spanked
like the naughty boy he is?Copy !req
643. I like spanking.
What's your problem?Copy !req
644. You ruined my chances of
sleeping with two girls tonightCopy !req
645. by making me look stupid. >Copy !req
646. So, once I show this little Kodak
moment to everyone I know,Copy !req
647. you're gonna look stupid,Copy !req
648. and I'll be a legend
for managing to take it.Copy !req
649. This is mine now!Copy !req
650. See you around.Copy !req
651. You don't have the balls
to show that photo. >Copy !req
652. What?Copy !req
653. What?
I said, you don't have the
balls to show that to anyone.Copy !req
654. Right?Copy !req
655. little pussy. Watch me.Copy !req
656. Do you know who I am? What I can do?Copy !req
657. Yeah!Copy !req
658. You heard what I said, boy. >Copy !req
659. Why don't you say it once more?Copy !req
660. Why don't you say it once more?
You don't have the fucking balls!Copy !req
661. You don't have the fucking balls!Copy !req
662. (LOUDER)
You don't have the fucking...Copy !req
663. ELECTRIC CURRENT BUZZESCopy !req
664. Nnngh...! Aargh...! Turn it off...Copy !req
665. Cook!Copy !req
666. Come on, let's go!Copy !req
667. Hey, Cookie. Does your mummy
know where you are?Copy !req
668. Your mum.Copy !req
669. I bet you're the apple
of her cunting eye.Copy !req
670. Shut up. Don't speak about my mum.Copy !req
671. I think you came here
to see her, didn't you?Copy !req
672. SHUT UP!Copy !req
673. Because your mum is a fucking slag!Copy !req
674. Raaaargh!Copy !req
675. Shut up about my family. You don't
know me, so shut the fuck up!Copy !req
676. Do you know who I am?Copy !req
677. What I can fucking do?Copy !req
678. What I can fucking do?Copy !req
679. I'm Cook! I'm fucking...!Copy !req
680. Stop it!Copy !req
681. I'm COOOOOK!Copy !req
682. It's me!Copy !req
683. It's JJ!Copy !req
684. Fucking bastard...Copy !req
685. Fucking shit...Copy !req
686. Fucking cunt...Copy !req
687. Kid, kid!Copy !req
688. I like you, kid. You're all right.Copy !req
689. SHUT UP!Copy !req
690. The next time I see you,Copy !req
691. you're dead.Copy !req
692. Cook, what the hell are you doing?
It's 6am. It's Saturday morning.Copy !req
693. Everyone's asleep. Including me.Copy !req
694. Wait! Wait!Copy !req
695. Shhh!Copy !req
696. What?Copy !req
697. I need to speak to you.Copy !req
698. OK, OK, I'll meet you in the shed.Copy !req
699. CAN OF DRINK OPENSCopy !req
700. Jesus, man.
Have you not stopped drinking?Copy !req
701. Oh, don't be a cock about it.
I've been up all night.Copy !req
702. So what are we doing today, then?Copy !req
703. Didn't you hear
what I said last night?Copy !req
704. Oh, come on, man.
You were just in a bad mood.Copy !req
705. Yeah. I was.Copy !req
706. Cos you almost got us killed.Copy !req
707. (LAUGHS) Yeah. Sorry about that.Copy !req
708. You're apologizing?Copy !req
709. That's a first.Copy !req
710. Something happened.Copy !req
711. I wasn't me.Copy !req
712. I was me.Copy !req
713. I don't know.Copy !req
714. I did something stupid.Copy !req
715. That's nothing new.Copy !req
716. Something really stupid. Something I
wouldn't have done if you was there.Copy !req
717. Right. So you've come here to ask
me to look after you all the time.Copy !req
718. Make sure you don't do
anything stupid ever again.Copy !req
719. Something like that.Copy !req
720. No.Copy !req
721. What?Copy !req
722. I'm not going to do that.Copy !req
723. Why not?Copy !req
724. Cos lately, it's like
you go looking for trouble.Copy !req
725. I wouldn't say I go...Copy !req
726. Do you want to die, mate?
Is that what you want?Copy !req
727. You're drinking yourself to death,
you're fighting gangsters.Copy !req
728. I don't even want to know
what happened last night.Copy !req
729. You're killing yourself to impress
some pissed-up old wanker in a pub.Copy !req
730. Why are you smiling?Copy !req
731. Because it's us...Copy !req
732. .. isn't it?Copy !req
733. Me, you and JJ.Copy !req
734. Best mates for life.Copy !req
735. You're not taking me with you, OK?Copy !req
736. I fucking love you, man.Copy !req
737. I fucking love you to bits.Copy !req
738. I...Copy !req
739. Yeah.Copy !req
740. OK.Copy !req
741. But you've got to stop all this
crazy shit.Copy !req
742. Shut it, you pussy.Copy !req
743. ENGINE APPROACHESCopy !req
744. ENGINE BACKFIRESCopy !req
745. Are you here
for business or pleasure?Copy !req
746. Sorry?Copy !req
747. Let's get this started!Copy !req
748. Hang on. He's pushing dope
at my fucking shindig!Copy !req
749. You're African, come on!Copy !req
750. Fuck off out of my... Ooof!Copy !req
751. I want you to see what kind of man
you're dealing with, Thomas.Copy !req