1. This programme contains very strong
language, violence, drug use and
scenes of a sexual nature.Copy !req
2. Fuckers.Copy !req
3. HORN BLARESCopy !req
4. Fredster!Copy !req
5. This stuff is fucking
rubbish, by the way.Copy !req
6. Stop stealing my fucking spliff!Copy !req
7. Arghhh!Copy !req
8. Morning, gents,
you thieving bastards. >Copy !req
9. Come on, I got you some breakfast.Copy !req
10. They allowed to serve lager
at 8 in the morning?Copy !req
11. They allowed to serve lager
at 8 in the morning?
I had a word...Copy !req
12. JJ's got some interesting thoughts
on the benefits of CarlsbergCopy !req
13. as part of a
balanced dietary pattern.Copy !req
14. as part of a
balanced dietary pattern.
Yeah?Copy !req
15. Calorifically it's right up there
with 392 energy units,Copy !req
16. which is nothing on the
Snickers Duo I'm havingCopy !req
17. which has the additional drawback
of 28 grams of fat.Copy !req
18. 1.2 grams of fibre,Copy !req
19. which doesn't feature in your lager.
But you could argue in some senseCopy !req
20. that hops constitute
one of your five a day.Copy !req
21. That'll do me.Copy !req
22. You not having that, Freds?Copy !req
23. That's his fourth so far. >Copy !req
24. Is that a good idea?
We've college in half an hour.Copy !req
25. You'll be carrying an
attention deficit into the day.Copy !req
26. Attention deficit?
Intelligence deficit!Copy !req
27. Pig!Copy !req
28. Well, maybe I won't go then.Copy !req
29. You're going to bunk off
your first day?Copy !req
30. Freddie, mate, the sun's shining.Copy !req
31. We're bevvied, spliffed and sorted.Copy !req
32. Feels like the beginning
of something. So I'm waiting.Copy !req
33. The signal.Copy !req
34. The signal.
We're starting college, Cook.Copy !req
35. The signal.
We're starting college, Cook.
No, we're waiting.
Something's gotta start us off.Copy !req
36. You're running a randomised
fate model to seeCopy !req
37. if you continue
in full time education?Copy !req
38. if you continue
in full time education?
I need motivation. And it needs to
be better than sitting in the sun,Copy !req
39. with you two, drinking beers
and smoking your blow. Jensie!Copy !req
40. Have the same again?Copy !req
41. And sling a couple of them
cherry shots on top?Copy !req
42. Cheers, darling.Copy !req
43. Yes, I can feel it!Copy !req
44. It's got potential, this day.Copy !req
45. It's pregnant.Copy !req
46. Shouldn't someone pick up
that bike before it causes an...?Copy !req
47. For fuck's sake!
Jesus shit!Copy !req
48. Where the fuck did that...?
What the fuck?Copy !req
49. Oh! Look at it! Look at it!Copy !req
50. Look at my fucking car!Copy !req
51. You saw that, didn't you?
Did you! Did you see it?Copy !req
52. I don't know.
You drove into the bollard.Copy !req
53. I did not! The fucking bike
jumped out in front of me!Copy !req
54. my witness, right? Are you blind?Copy !req
55. fucking blind?Copy !req
56. (JJ) That girl's looking
at you, Freddie. >Copy !req
57. Yeah.Copy !req
58. Maybe she's looking at me.Copy !req
59. OK.Copy !req
60. Nice hair. >Copy !req
61. Yeah.Copy !req
62. She's got nice hair and nice eyes. >Copy !req
63. And nice breasts, probably. >Copy !req
64. Shut up, JJ.Copy !req
65. Nipples.Copy !req
66. We'll just imagine her bottom.Copy !req
67. white stick, woman?Copy !req
68. She's absolutely lovely. >Copy !req
69. You are as stupid as you look! >Copy !req
70. Ah, for fuck...
I want your mobile number.Copy !req
71. Ah, for fuck...
I want your mobile number.
I don't have one.Copy !req
72. Your fucking email address, then!Copy !req
73. Look at the state
of my fucking car!Copy !req
74. You must have seen something,
you demented bint!Copy !req
75. What...
What happened?Copy !req
76. Is that your bike,
you fucking idiot?Copy !req
77. I was signalling...
you just kept coming...Copy !req
78. I was signalling...
you just kept coming...
I didn't even see you! >Copy !req
79. You came out of fucking nowhere! >Copy !req
80. I was trying to make you see me.
You just kept coming, man!Copy !req
81. No. That's bollocks. No. Listen!Copy !req
82. You fucked my bike.
You just ran straight through me.Copy !req
83. That is not right!
You haven't got a witness.Copy !req
84. Nobody saw me
knock you off your bike.Copy !req
85. I did. >Copy !req
86. It was just like he said!Copy !req
87. You ran him over,
and now he's bleeding.Copy !req
88. Profusely.Copy !req
89. Perhaps we should
call a policeman.Copy !req
90. I think it's a crime
to leave the scene of a...Copy !req
91. I think it's a crime
to leave the scene of a...
There's no need for that.
I'm sure we can sort this out.Copy !req
92. Let me buy you a new bike...
Look, here. Come on, take it!Copy !req
93. Take it! Come on, have the lot.
Have the whole fucking lot!Copy !req
94. Oh, bollocks!
Forgive and forget, OK?Copy !req
95. Forgive and forget, OK?
OK? All right.Copy !req
96. Everything all right, Gran?Copy !req
97. Oh, yes. Just a slight problem,
all sorted out now. Yes.Copy !req
98. He's a pillock, he wrapped
his car around that bollard, >Copy !req
99. and he's called me
a demented bint. >Copy !req
100. What the fuck did you say
to my Gran, man? >Copy !req
101. What the fuck did you say
to my Gran, man? >
Hello, nice to meet you... >Copy !req
102. Don't fucking, "Hello," me... >Copy !req
103. Sweet.Copy !req
104. Dad says some things are best
left to the imagination. >Copy !req
105. But that's not right, is it?Copy !req
106. But that's not right, is it?
Your dad's a stupid tosser, JJ.Copy !req
107. Yes.Copy !req
108. Do you think she's going
where we're going? >Copy !req
109. She is now.Copy !req
110. SHOWER RUNSCopy !req
111. Aarrgh!Copy !req
112. Mum! Mum! Emily hit me! Aargh!Copy !req
113. Emily? Are you hitting James?Copy !req
114. Sorry! Accident...Copy !req
115. Argh! That was my bloody widdler!Copy !req
116. Shut up or I'll tell her
what you were doing.Copy !req
117. I've got a natural curiosity
for a boy of my age.Copy !req
118. Fuck off. And I know it's you
stealing the knickers.Copy !req
119. They better not be sticky
when I find them.Copy !req
120. Get the fuck out of there, bitch!Copy !req
121. Mum! Mum! Who?Copy !req
122. It's me, Emily.Copy !req
123. Tell her to get out of the shower.
She's making me late for college.Copy !req
124. Gotta dash. Remember to make
a packed lunch for James. No!Copy !req
125. Why don't you get Katie to...? Good
luck at college. Remember to smile.Copy !req
126. Fucking hell!Copy !req
127. You've used all the fucking water!Copy !req
128. Jesus! Shit!Copy !req
129. Oh, for fuck's sake!
You pervy little bastard.Copy !req
130. Ow... Ow! Mum!Copy !req
131. She's gone to work, loser.Copy !req
132. Ow! >Copy !req
133. Fucking hell. How many times
are you gonna do that?Copy !req
134. I need to wash my hair and you've...Copy !req
135. I knew this top
would look fucking bad-ass.Copy !req
136. It's mine.Copy !req
137. Yeah. Aren't you glad
I made you buy it?Copy !req
138. Get dressed, though.
We're gonna be late.Copy !req
139. but it's properly
cutting me in half.Copy !req
140. You could give it back.Copy !req
141. Sorry.Copy !req
142. You know it doesn't
look as good on you.Copy !req
143. CAR TOOTS HORNCopy !req
144. Oh, there's Danny. Hey, cutey!Copy !req
145. I'm just coming. Hooo!Copy !req
146. I'm telling you, college?
First day? You need to get ready.Copy !req
147. Cos we're not waiting for you.Copy !req
148. What about my packed lunch?Copy !req
149. Fuck off.Copy !req
150. You shave your fanny
with Dad's Gillette Mach3.Copy !req
151. WU-TANG CLAN: Shame On A NiggaCopy !req
152. So Tommo goes up the inside, right?Copy !req
153. I drop back to cover Marco
and Keeno.Copy !req
154. Took a one-two from Jonno,
he's gone, "Danno!"Copy !req
155. So I drag back over the ball.Copy !req
156. Looked up, chipped
the centre back... Boff!Copy !req
157. Sambo's in on goal.Copy !req
158. Sambo?Copy !req
159. He's got a lovely sense of rhythm.
Whoa! Where's your knickers, girl?Copy !req
160. That's for me to know
and you to find out, Danny.Copy !req
161. Nice one! Nice one, yeah?Copy !req
162. Score one for me, honey.Copy !req
163. Laters, babe.Copy !req
164. See you, Danny.Copy !req
165. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
166. Yeah. Renault Megane Coupe!Copy !req
167. Fucking bag...Copy !req
168. Here, Ems?Copy !req
169. Ems?Copy !req
170. Yeah?Copy !req
171. Yeah?
You oughta spruce up, yeah?
Get some decent threads like Katie.Copy !req
172. We're having a party in the
Premier Travel Lodge on Thursday.Copy !req
173. Party fun, yeah? The lads,
they love a twin thing, you know?Copy !req
174. That's sweet of you, Danny.
Can I get back to you on that?Copy !req
175. Yeah, yeah. Nice one.Copy !req
176. That gas-head footy player?Copy !req
177. Yup...Copy !req
178. Yup...
My mate Janice wants
you to sign her tits.Copy !req
179. Let me park up.Copy !req
180. Your boyfriend's well mint.Copy !req
181. Yeah. He's totally fit.Copy !req
182. He took me to the Stakis Grand
last week for surf, turf and shots.Copy !req
183. Oooh. I love Danny Guillermo.
Wow.Copy !req
184. Oh, yeah, cute.Copy !req
185. He's signing Samantha's tits!Copy !req
186. Bonkers!Copy !req
187. What's surf and turf, Eff?Copy !req
188. Sex.Copy !req
189. Wow! We'll have a whizzer time
at this college, Eff!Copy !req
190. I'm definitely going
to have surf and turf, ASAP.Copy !req
191. Mum says boys only want one thingCopy !req
192. so my plan is
give it to them, lots of times.Copy !req
193. That way I'll get good at it,
be really popularCopy !req
194. and maybe my toes
will stop throbbing.Copy !req
195. Bye!Copy !req
196. Christ's sakes, Ems.
Come on, you loser!Copy !req
197. Oh...Copy !req
198. Oh...
You're always lagging behind me.Copy !req
199. Right.Copy !req
200. You hate her.Copy !req
201. Who do I hate, Eff?Copy !req
202. I'll let you know.Copy !req
203. Cool.Copy !req
204. Let's get this party started.Copy !req
205. You want a lollipop?Copy !req
206. You want a lollipop?
No.Copy !req
207. She smiled at me.Copy !req
208. Cool.Copy !req
209. She, erm, didn't smile at you, JJ.Copy !req
210. I think you'll find she did.Copy !req
211. Mum was right. A lack of pubic hair
isn't necessarily a drawback.Copy !req
212. It is a drawback.Copy !req
213. Girls are more interested
in my character than my cock.Copy !req
214. That's just been proved.Copy !req
215. She was not looking at you.Copy !req
216. Fuck me, you're blind.Copy !req
217. On the contrary. My eyesight is keen.Copy !req
218. Yeah? How many fingers
am I holding up?Copy !req
219. F... Ow!Copy !req
220. You always do that...!Copy !req
221. I've got so much cock hairCopy !req
222. I can backcomb it
and use it like a lure.Copy !req
223. Nice.Copy !req
224. Like a Porcupine.Copy !req
225. Right, you're all prick.Copy !req
226. Toosh.Copy !req
227. You mean touche.Copy !req
228. Probably.Copy !req
229. Tosser.Copy !req
230. Nice.Copy !req
231. Here we go.Copy !req
232. 'Welcome to Roundview College.
A meeting place for young people.'Copy !req
233. CHORUS PLAYS OVER TANNOYCopy !req
234. God help me.Copy !req
235. Lovely kids. So full of energy.Copy !req
236. Makes you feel alive.Copy !req
237. They look like a right peck
of fuckers to me.Copy !req
238. If I suddenly get a bit flushed
and short of breath,Copy !req
239. take over, would you, Doug?Copy !req
240. Why would you get flushed?Copy !req
241. Why would you get flushed?
Just fucking do it, ok?Copy !req
242. No problem. Flushed. Right you are.Copy !req
243. Could I have your attention, please?Copy !req
244. Yes, we are starting.Copy !req
245. Excuse...Copy !req
246. BLOWS WHISTLECopy !req
247. Attention!Copy !req
248. Pay attention, look you!Copy !req
249. Thank you, Doug.Copy !req
250. Welcome to Roundview College.Copy !req
251. We are a designated four star
educational establishmentCopy !req
252. under the National We're All
In It Together InitiativeCopy !req
253. leading to Ultimate Improvement
status.Copy !req
254. Anyone who screws that up will be
officially burnt at the stake.Copy !req
255. And expelled.Copy !req
256. Yes, and expelled.Copy !req
257. God help you all, you're gonna get
some qualifications. Any questions?Copy !req
258. PFFRT!Copy !req
259. Thank you. Now before I turn
you over to your form tutors,Copy !req
260. I'd like to tell you something about
the way in which we organise our...Copy !req
261. PFFRT!Copy !req
262. PFFRT!
Right! Very funny.
This is a further education college,Copy !req
263. not a primary school.Copy !req
264. PFFRT!Copy !req
265. Stop it! Stop it!Copy !req
266. I'll cut your balls off,
you cheeky little turds!Copy !req
267. You hear me?Copy !req
268. I do apologise.Copy !req
269. I think I might be at fault.Copy !req
270. Too much rhubarb
on my Ready Brek. Havoc.Copy !req
271. Right.Copy !req
272. You are looking a little flushed.
Do you want me to...?Copy !req
273. No! No. Just...Copy !req
274. Last year, we had
some intolerable incidentsCopy !req
275. so, I want to make this
easy for you.Copy !req
276. The following will result in instant
expulsion - smoking on the premises,Copy !req
277. setting fire to the premises,Copy !req
278. consumption of alcohol
on the premises,Copy !req
279. consumption of drugs on the premises,
consumption of pornographyCopy !req
280. on the premises, teacher abuse,
glue abuse, self abuse,Copy !req
281. sexual intercourse with any other
student, teacher or animalCopy !req
282. or combination of the aboveCopy !req
283. including oral sex and/or
use of sex toys, on the premises.Copy !req
284. That was nasty...Copy !req
285. Miss Reedy, our new head
of communications.Copy !req
286. Miss Reedy is joining us from...Copy !req
287. Where are you joining us from?Copy !req
288. Um, I had some time off.Copy !req
289. Seven years.Copy !req
290. It was stress-related but feeling
a bit better now, hopefully...Copy !req
291. Oh, Christ.Copy !req
292. Form BD1, say your name,
please, when I...Copy !req
293. Put your hands up, please,
when I call your, erm, name.Copy !req
294. Emily Fitch?Copy !req
295. Katie Fitch?Copy !req
296. Jonah Jeremia Jones?Copy !req
297. JJ, present.Copy !req
298. James Cook?Copy !req
299. Yo!Copy !req
300. Elizabeth Stonem?Copy !req
301. Mavis Jarundi?Copy !req
302. Dob... rislawa W...Copy !req
303. Wieczorek?
I'm sorry, you're foreign.Copy !req
304. Frederick Mclair?Copy !req
305. Yes.Copy !req
306. Yes!Copy !req
307. Denise Adebeyor?Copy !req
308. Yes. Yes! The integrity
of the unit is preserved.Copy !req
309. I'm still deeply unhappy
with you, mind,Copy !req
310. on account of the
unwarranted violence.Copy !req
311. All right, I said I'm sorry.Copy !req
312. And Naomi Campbell?Copy !req
313. Naomi Campbell?Copy !req
314. Naomi Campbell?Copy !req
315. Fucking hell...Copy !req
316. Hey, Naomi.Copy !req
317. Now I get it. You got
anger management issues.Copy !req
318. Only when I talk to wankers.Copy !req
319. Cool. You gonna hit me
with your shoe now, or...?Copy !req
320. I like her.Copy !req
321. Oh, Christ. Same fucking form.Copy !req
322. TEACHER CONTINUES READING NAMESCopy !req
323. Hey, babe...?Copy !req
324. Babe? Babe?Copy !req
325. Babe?Copy !req
326. Babe?Copy !req
327. Sorry. I'm not a babe.Copy !req
328. No? Well, I'll be the judge of that.Copy !req
329. Listen, trying to break the ice.Copy !req
330. Guess what I've got tattooed
on my cock?Copy !req
331. No, go on. Guess.Copy !req
332. What would you say?Copy !req
333. Excuse me?Copy !req
334. Yes? What is it?Copy !req
335. The boy next to me
is acting inappropriately.Copy !req
336. How?Copy !req
337. He wants to show me his tattoo.Copy !req
338. And not in a nice way.Copy !req
339. Right. You!Copy !req
340. Yes! Why don't you show us all
your pathetic tattoo.Copy !req
341. We can wonder at
its magnificent stupidity.Copy !req
342. I don't think you'd like it.Copy !req
343. Right lad! Smartish!Copy !req
344. You've had an instruction.
Show her the tattoo, now!Copy !req
345. All right.Copy !req
346. Wait. No, no, no! Cook, wait, no.Copy !req
347. That is fuckin' impressive,
so it is.Copy !req
348. No, no, no, no, no! Let me out!Copy !req
349. Let me out! Don't make me stay.
Let me out!Copy !req
350. This is unacceptable. Unacceptable!Copy !req
351. Silence.Copy !req
352. Silence! Silence! You, silence!Copy !req
353. PF-F-FFRT!Copy !req
354. I do apologise again.Copy !req
355. If I ever, ever see your face
in this office again...Copy !req
356. Get out!Copy !req
357. GET OUT!Copy !req
358. GET OUT!Copy !req
359. Did she expel you?Copy !req
360. For what?Copy !req
361. Well, getting your cock
out in Assembly.Copy !req
362. I'm guessing, but it's possibly
frowned upon.Copy !req
363. Even in the state sector.Copy !req
364. She understood the bind I was in.
I was doing what I was told.Copy !req
365. Very accommodating.Copy !req
366. There was something about removing
my bollocks with a monkey wrenchCopy !req
367. if she ever saw them again.Copy !req
368. I think we reached an understanding.Copy !req
369. Right. To business.Copy !req
370. You mean education?Copy !req
371. You mean education?
Women, JJ.Copy !req
372. Women?Copy !req
373. Um... I mean, I feel like
we might be...Copy !req
374. I don't want to sort of run
before I can walk...Copy !req
375. Wow.Copy !req
376. Girls!Copy !req
377. There's a lot of them.Copy !req
378. Yep.Copy !req
379. So much choice.
It's disconcerting.Copy !req
380. No, it's just a matter of sorting
out the wheat from the chavs.Copy !req
381. Ah, there we are.Copy !req
382. And the wolf shall lie down
with the lamb.Copy !req
383. You think she'd
lie down with me?Copy !req
384. No!Copy !req
385. Yeah? Well, that line is wrong
and popularly misquoted.Copy !req
386. It should read: 'The wolf also
shall dwell with the lamb,Copy !req
387. 'and the leopard shall
lie down with the kid,Copy !req
388. 'and the lion and the calf together
and a little child shall lead them.'Copy !req
389. Yeah. We'll try and pick
the bones out of that, J.Copy !req
390. I could show her one
of my magic tricks.Copy !req
391. Dad says it's
an ice-breaker.Copy !req
392. Yeah? Let's try that out, then,Copy !req
393. before we go leaping in, and we can
see who gets the fatted calf, right?Copy !req
394. OK.Copy !req
395. Yeah, you.Copy !req
396. Darling, my mate wants to try out
his pick-up routine on you. That OK?Copy !req
397. Hey. Hi, I'm JJ.Copy !req
398. Pack of cards.
Nothing funny about them.Copy !req
399. Except one minute
they're blue and...Copy !req
400. Hi.Copy !req
401. Hi.Copy !req
402. You don't mind if
I take this locker?Copy !req
403. You can take anything
if you want it enough.Copy !req
404. Great. Everything's new and I
suppose we should probably, like,Copy !req
405. you know,
all get to know each other.Copy !req
406. Why?Copy !req
407. Well, um...Copy !req
408. I dunno.Copy !req
409. You definitely looked at me
this morning, twice.Copy !req
410. I just thought, you know, maybe
we could get to know each other.Copy !req
411. I look at
lots of people.Copy !req
412. That doesn't mean I want to
get to know them.Copy !req
413. Do you want me to want
to get to know you?Copy !req
414. I, er, I wouldn't mind.Copy !req
415. Thing is, they want
to get to know me too.Copy !req
416. They're just wankers.Copy !req
417. They're your best friends.Copy !req
418. OK, so they're my best friends.Copy !req
419. That makes it complicated.Copy !req
420. I, um, I was hoping not.Copy !req
421. I'm Freddie.Copy !req
422. Tell you what, Freddie.Copy !req
423. Fill in a form.Copy !req
424. What's this?Copy !req
425. A list of things
we're not allowed to do.Copy !req
426. Like that head director said before
your bestest mate got his cock out.Copy !req
427. I was gonna see if I could tick 'em
all before the end of the day.Copy !req
428. But this is much more interesting.Copy !req
429. First one to fill that out gets to...Copy !req
430. .. get to know me.Copy !req
431. And no cheating.Copy !req
432. I'll need evidence.Copy !req
433. OK.Copy !req
434. Cos I wouldn't fuck a cheat.Copy !req
435. Sorry?Copy !req
436. Now watch very closely. >Copy !req
437. Oh! Where's it gone?Copy !req
438. Presto!Copy !req
439. Presto!Copy !req
440. Put that away
before I lose it.Copy !req
441. Yes, that's alarming.
So I'll just...Copy !req
442. Ha ha!Copy !req
443. And the coup de grace.Copy !req
444. Prestissimo!Copy !req
445. Yeah!Copy !req
446. Magic!Copy !req
447. Question is, pet, does that make
you want to give JJ a blowjob?Copy !req
448. Excuse me, are you
fucking deaf or something?Copy !req
449. So why don't youCopy !req
450. give him a blowjob
if you love him so much?Copy !req
451. Tossers.Copy !req
452. Especially you.Copy !req
453. Who are we speaking to here?Copy !req
454. Pixie's lip reading.
I'm telling you what she says.Copy !req
455. Right, right. Cool.Copy !req
456. She's got tits like choccy Hob Nobs.
I'd like to dunk 'em,Copy !req
457. suck 'em and lick off the love.Copy !req
458. I'm not sure...Copy !req
459. Droopy, lardy arse.Copy !req
460. Bit spready, bit low slung.
You get me?Copy !req
461. I think we've stumbled upon
a flaw in your thinking.Copy !req
462. Listen... I mean, wait. Hang on.Copy !req
463. small-balled arsehole bandit.Copy !req
464. She may be deaf,
she's also extremely rude.Copy !req
465. Yeah.Copy !req
466. It's bloody annoying
they put us in different forms.Copy !req
467. I mean, OK,
I'm totally uselessCopy !req
468. and Mum says I have to do Hair &
Beauty, but I'm good at Philosophy.Copy !req
469. I can't understand why I can't
do Hair and Philosophy.Copy !req
470. You can't cos it turns out Hair &
Beauty is one subject, not two.Copy !req
471. Blooming Nora, how mad is that?Copy !req
472. It's inexplicable, Pandora.Copy !req
473. Yeah. Inexplicable.Copy !req
474. What does inexplicable mean, Eff?Copy !req
475. Can't explain.Copy !req
476. All right! Suit yourself, then.Copy !req
477. Whoa!Copy !req
478. Hi, I'm Katie.Copy !req
479. I'm Bruno and what do you know?Copy !req
480. Hello!Copy !req
481. Who's your friend?Copy !req
482. Pandora. Wow! You're a corker.Copy !req
483. Thanks, um...Copy !req
484. It's nice to... I got to go.Copy !req
485. Strewth! Do you think he'd do
surf and turf with me, Eff?Copy !req
486. I'll ask.Copy !req
487. Gotta go. Lesson one,
practical skills.Copy !req
488. Filing our nails - handy!Copy !req
489. I'm Pandora. I'm useless.Copy !req
490. Cute.Copy !req
491. I'm Katie, that's my sister.Copy !req
492. Aren't you Effy Stonem? Haven't
you got a really cool brother?Copy !req
493. Yeah, he's cool.Copy !req
494. All my friends fancied him.
I wasn't so fussed.Copy !req
495. Didn't he go mental?
Anyway I've got a boyfriend.Copy !req
496. He plays for Bristol Rover reserves.Copy !req
497. Impressive.Copy !req
498. Yeah. He's well lush.
Let's sit together.Copy !req
499. We can chat because, you know...Copy !req
500. We're the best-looking in here,
really. Sorry but we are.Copy !req
501. We should hang out.
Definitely.Copy !req
502. Oh, no, here it comes.Copy !req
503. Total lezzer bitch.Copy !req
504. Excuse me.Copy !req
505. Like, don't talk to her. She tried
to snog my sister at middle school.Copy !req
506. Pervy. Don't you
think, Eff?Copy !req
507. Watch out, Katie.
I might get confusedCopy !req
508. and fuck you with my big
strap-on by mistake.Copy !req
509. Muff-munching bitch.Copy !req
510. Just jumped on you, didn't she...Copy !req
511. Leave it, Katie.Copy !req
512. Whatever.Copy !req
513. Come on.Copy !req
514. We'll get the best seats, yeah?Copy !req
515. So, you the doormat, then?Copy !req
516. Sort of.Copy !req
517. Interesting, that you
just put up with that.Copy !req
518. Yeah.Copy !req
519. It's a challenging list.
You gotta give her that.Copy !req
520. Sex in school. Tricky.Copy !req
521. Guys, we are now seven minutes -Copy !req
522. 57, 58, 59 - eight minutes late
for form induction.Copy !req
523. Shut up, will you, JJ?Copy !req
524. Do you think she's serious?Copy !req
525. There's only one way to find out.Copy !req
526. Wait a minute. You're not gonna...Copy !req
527. I've already got
'teacher abuse' ticked.Copy !req
528. And how! Your cock
should not be that colour. >Copy !req
529. The game is on, Freddie.
You wanna play?Copy !req
530. Don't be stupid.Copy !req
531. Tell you what,
girls like Stupid.Copy !req
532. Ain't you worked
that out?Copy !req
533. And McFly. Girls like McFly. >Copy !req
534. She's a naughty, naughty little girl
and I don't like to disappoint.Copy !req
535. Eh?Copy !req
536. Someone's left their shit in here.Copy !req
537. Yeah!Copy !req
538. Nice!Copy !req
539. Check this out!Copy !req
540. Oh, my god. Cook,
I'm not sure if that's legal.Copy !req
541. Oh, that's definitely not legal!Copy !req
542. Dunno who this Sid guy was but
he's got fucking great taste in gash.Copy !req
543. I can't look. Don't make me look.Copy !req
544. I have to look. Oh, holy shit!Copy !req
545. That's forbidden.
Forbidden, verboten, interdit. JJ!Copy !req
546. Prohibido, prohibido! JJ! JJ!Copy !req
547. I'm sorry. Was I getting
locked on, there?Copy !req
548. Locked on, JJ.Copy !req
549. OK.Copy !req
550. I'm all right. I'm fine.
But can I just remind you,Copy !req
551. in a casual, non-locked-on way,
that we're late?Copy !req
552. We're late, we're late,
we're late!Copy !req
553. JJ!Copy !req
554. Sorry.
I'm fine.Copy !req
555. We going?Copy !req
556. Hang on.Copy !req
557. Shoot me. Huh?Copy !req
558. The fucking camera. Go on.Copy !req
559. Right, action.Copy !req
560. Cook, what the fuck are you doing?Copy !req
561. Action. Do it, man!Copy !req
562. I was saving this for lunch
but what the fuck?Copy !req
563. Cheers!Copy !req
564. Fuck me.Copy !req
565. Christ.Copy !req
566. Sorted.Copy !req
567. You are fucking mental.Copy !req
568. Mental is as mental does.Copy !req
569. But we're late.Copy !req
570. Shall we?Copy !req
571. Let's go.Copy !req
572. Come on, run!Copy !req
573. So, you see, they don't mean it.Copy !req
574. That's what you have to remember.Copy !req
575. They're just kids.Copy !req
576. Kids! Yes?Copy !req
577. I, um, I suppose so.Copy !req
578. They don't mean it.Copy !req
579. Have you ever fallen off a horse?Copy !req
580. Huh?Copy !req
581. You have to drink your milk and get
straight back on that horse.Copy !req
582. OK? Back. Yes?Copy !req
583. Uggy uggy uggy!Copy !req
584. What?Copy !req
585. Kids. Cheeky, immature.Copy !req
586. Harmless. They can't hurt you. OK?Copy !req
587. OK. They can't hurt me.Copy !req
588. Good girl.Copy !req
589. Saddle up!Copy !req
590. ARGH!Copy !req
591. FIRE BELL RINGSCopy !req
592. Across firmly and round it off.Copy !req
593. Across firmly and round it off.Copy !req
594. Across firmly and round it off.Copy !req
595. Across firmly and round it off.Copy !req
596. Across firmly and round it off.Copy !req
597. Across firmly and round it off.Copy !req
598. Across firmly and round it off.Copy !req
599. Across firmly and round it off.Copy !req
600. Across firmly and round it off.Copy !req
601. Across firmly...Copy !req
602. Smooth the cuticle, push.Copy !req
603. Smooth the cuticle, push.Copy !req
604. Remember to breathe.Copy !req
605. Smooth the cuticle.Copy !req
606. Push.Copy !req
607. Smooth the cuticle.Copy !req
608. Push. Yes.Copy !req
609. I'm sorry...Copy !req
610. We're filing. What is it?Copy !req
611. Well, um,
blimey this is fascinating.Copy !req
612. Mega fun. But the thing is...Copy !req
613. I have to get out of here.Copy !req
614. Sorry?Copy !req
615. I have to go because I've got
three super-duper zits coming on.Copy !req
616. They're like... proper seepers.Copy !req
617. Oh, my God!Copy !req
618. Yes, Go! Go!Copy !req
619. For God's sake go!
Refresh and moisturise.Copy !req
620. Don't waste a second.Copy !req
621. Yes. Refresh and... I'm on it!Copy !req
622. Smooth the cuticle. Push.Copy !req
623. Blooming 'eck. It's big out here.Copy !req
624. Right.Copy !req
625. Um... Now we've gotta...Copy !req
626. Christ.Copy !req
627. Fuck it.Copy !req
628. OK. Fuck, fuck, fuck.Copy !req
629. Um... OK. Whatever...Copy !req
630. We've gotta stand up,Copy !req
631. say our names
and a unique fact about ourselves.Copy !req
632. Right. I'll start.Copy !req
633. Christ.Copy !req
634. I'm Kieran and I hate
being a fucking teacher. You.Copy !req
635. Um... I'm JJ and with
regard to mathematic aptitudeCopy !req
636. I'm in the top 0.3% of the
population which is an interestingCopy !req
637. demographic statistic because
paradoxically my communication,Copy !req
638. interpersonal and intuitive skills
are towards the lower quartiles.Copy !req
639. Yeah. You've stopped me in my
fucking tracks there, yeah. You.Copy !req
640. I'm Katie.Copy !req
641. I've never not had a boyfriend
since I was seven.Copy !req
642. Congratulations. You.Copy !req
643. I'm Emily.Copy !req
644. I've never had a boyfriend.Copy !req
645. Shit happens. You.Copy !req
646. I'm Naomi.Copy !req
647. I hate injustice.Copy !req
648. People tell lies about me.Copy !req
649. You at the back.Copy !req
650. I'm Kumir. I'm gay.Copy !req
651. Yup. Good. You.Copy !req
652. I'm Max, and both
my parents are artists.Copy !req
653. Great. I'm very very happy for you.
What about you? With the bling.Copy !req
654. I'm Effy.Copy !req
655. And I think my mum's
having an affair.Copy !req
656. Good one. Shows enterprise.Copy !req
657. What about you, big man?Copy !req
658. I'm Freddie.Copy !req
659. I met a girl I like today.Copy !req
660. She's like...Copy !req
661. Beautiful.Copy !req
662. That's it.Copy !req
663. That's it? That's your unique fact?
That's just great.Copy !req
664. Fascinating, Freddie,
thank you for that. What about you?Copy !req
665. I'm Katie and
I had Frosties for breakfast.Copy !req
666. Frosties, that's product
placement in my opinion.Copy !req
667. You there at the back
beside the wee gay man?Copy !req
668. My name's Nathan and seven membersCopy !req
669. of my immediate
family have been on Crimewatch.Copy !req
670. Brilliant,
what a year this is gonna be.Copy !req
671. Kieran? Yes.Copy !req
672. I'm feeling rather shit.Copy !req
673. I think I need to
go to the Nurse's office.Copy !req
674. Oh, yeah? OK. Go on then.Copy !req
675. Right. Where were we?Copy !req
676. Oh, stuff it.Copy !req
677. Let's just watch a DVD about...Copy !req
678. Oh, Christ.Copy !req
679. "How To Be Inclusive". Holy Mother of
divine shite, who makes up this shit?Copy !req
680. Actually, Kieran,
I'm not feeling too well either.Copy !req
681. My balls are aching. I might
have to go and see that nurse.Copy !req
682. Right! Bugger off then.Copy !req
683. Cheers, Kieran.Copy !req
684. See if she can laser
Jordan off them.Copy !req
685. OK. Right, how the fuck does this...Copy !req
686. Hey.
Can I be in this class?Copy !req
687. I don't like mine.Copy !req
688. Why not? Make up the numbers.
You doing some A levels?Copy !req
689. One, please. Philosophy.Copy !req
690. OK, sit down.Copy !req
691. When you've worked out the point of
living, come and fucking tell me.Copy !req
692. Whizzer!Copy !req
693. Where's Effy?Copy !req
694. They don't have a nurse.Copy !req
695. I just gotta get drugs.Copy !req
696. And sex.Copy !req
697. Grab my balls! Grab my balls!Copy !req
698. MOANINGCopy !req
699. Grab my balls!Copy !req
700. Grab my balls!Copy !req
701. Grab my balls! Grab my balls!Copy !req
702. MOANING AND GRUNTINGCopy !req