Six Feet Under 3x5

1. I don't know why you didn't accept the complimentary map

2. at the trail head.

3. Maybe because I've done this hike 100 times before.

4. You're the one who insisted

5. on making a left at the last marker.

6. Because the other way didn't look like a trail!

7. - That was the trail! - Fine.

8. Everything is my fault,

9. everything in the entire world.

10. Not everything. Just the fact that we're now totally lost

11. and I'm totally dehydrated.

12. Oh well, if you were so sure about the damn trail,

13. which you weren't, then why didn't you just go and...

14. What is that down there?

15. I told you there was something,

16. but you didn't believe me. You never believe me.

17. - You think I'm just like your mother. - No, I don't.

18. Yes, you do, just be honest for once.

19. Oh my God.

20. Something's moving.

21. Somebody's in there, they're trapped.

22. No, they're not.

23. Whoa!

24. Must've driven off that dirt road up there.

25. It's been sitting here for years.

26. People are horrible.

27. Why would they have an accident,

28. and then just leave their car to rot?

29. Maybe because they're still in it.

30. Okay, I'm fading.

31. I can't even keep my eyes open.

32. I need to get a cup of coffee.

33. You fell asleep when we were on the phone last night.

34. I did not.

35. I was talking for like 30 minutes straight

36. and I was thinking, "Wow, it's so good

37. to get these things out," and then...

38. I'm sorry.

39. I haven't slept in like three nights,

40. I've been devouring this Camille Claudel biography.

41. Do you remember me telling you that

42. my brother's getting married on Saturday?

43. Yes, to the woman with no chin.

44. That's right, so I didn't totally bore you.

45. I know it's kind of... kind of last minute,

46. but I was thinking maybe if you weren't doing anything...

47. Um, I mean, if it wouldn't be

48. completely painful for you to come with me?

49. - Um... - It's not a date.

50. It sounds like a date, but it's not.

51. Okay, it's a date.

52. You would be my date.

53. Sure. I mean, why not?

54. Of course I'll go with you.

55. Okay, it got weird, didn't it? And I did it.

56. I hate life.

57. Claire, I really... I really like our friendship

58. and I would never...

59. What's with the chitty-chat?

60. Hmm? You can focus on your work,

61. or you can gossip like old blind women.

62. It's your decision.

63. Finally you draw what you see, not what you think you see.

64. I like it.

65. Claire, you and I should talk.

66. Look, everything I do sucks today.

67. I know, I just like...

68. This isn't about your work.

69. - Thank you. - Of course.

70. - Thank you! - Of course.

71. Okay, I'll be back.

72. You're not going to believe this.

73. Olivier just asked me to be his assistant. And I start tomorrow.

74. I don't believe this.

75. I feel like I just won something.

76. I never win anything.

77. Me neither.

78. Um, I guess any of these would be fine.

79. - Honey, you actually have to pick one. - Chris, please.

80. How the hell am I supposed to know what kind of casket Will would want?

81. He disappeared over 25 years ago.

82. And I can hardly remember how he took his coffee.

83. I myself like the Deluxe Aegean.

84. It's a little on the high end, but it's very calming.

85. It's like a slow, lulling ride on...

86. on the Aegean, I guess.

87. - I need to sit down. - Take your time.

88. There's no hurry, we know how hard this is for you.

89. He, um...

90. went out for a newspaper one day and never came back.

91. So, I figured he deserted me, which made sense.

92. Because we were one of those horrible

93. got-married-too-soon-for-all- the-wrong-reasons couples.

94. Now I find out he...

95. didn't run away at all.

96. He died in a freak accident.

97. What am I supposed to do with all these years

98. of feeling like he deserted us?

99. Honey, we don't even need to do a funeral.

100. It's just an empty ritual.

101. Actually, the closure it provides is quite powerful

102. and quite healing.

103. The strange part is where they found him...

104. in that canyon. It was 10 miles from where we lived back then.

105. What was he doing there?

106. - Well, maybe he got lost. - Right.

107. Looking for a newspaper on a dirt road

108. in the middle of nowhere.

109. I mean, do you think he was seeing someone else?

110. I... I have no idea.

111. He could have been.

112. Diane, let's just make a decision on the casket

113. and get out of here.

114. Will was Jewish so I suppose...

115. The Sampson.

116. It's plain cedar. Got it.

117. Hmm.

118. I can finish out the week if you need, it's no problem.

119. Claire, you got another job. Go do it.

120. It's just that it's an amazing opportunity

121. to learn from Olivier Castro-Staal, maybe even help him with his art,

122. and just do something meaningful,

123. instead of just... you know.

124. Fine. You know what?

125. I wasn't crazy about you doing pickups and deliveries anyway.

126. We have enough actual employees here.

127. - We shouldn't have to pay somebody. - Okay, thanks.

128. Oh wait, this is for you.

129. What's that, a good bye gift?

130. No, it's a box of bones I just picked up from the coroner.

131. It's William Jaffe. Here, catch.

132. Just kidding.

133. - I'm not sure this is such a good idea. - No, it's perfect.

134. Look, we were saving some by using Claire,

135. but we can save serious money with an apprentice.

136. - I've crunched the numbers. - You can crunch numbers?

137. Of course I can. Look, it's free labor.

138. We just have to give him a place to live,

139. he gets credit for mortuary school and we don't have to pay him bupkiss.

140. As Mr. F used to say.

141. - Well? - I don't know,

142. I think this house is already getting a little crowded.

143. You mean with your wife and baby?

144. I'm just saying that...

145. How do we even know someone will want the job?

146. I've got five seniors from Cypress lined up, dying to interview today.

147. - I think we should do it. - All right, fine.

148. Isn't someone going to ask me how I feel about this?

149. After all, since none of you actually live in the house anymore,

150. I'll be the one who is forced to coexist with a complete stranger

151. who could kill me in the middle of the night.

152. She's right. It's not fair to her.

153. Uh, Mrs. F?

154. We can save up to $10,000 a year

155. according to my projections.

156. I don't want loud rock music in this house.

157. No rock music, got it.

158. So, you guys want to take a look at some of the resumes they faxed over?

159. Are you kidding? I'm dying to.

160. Mom, you don't have to be a martyr all the time.

161. I agreed to it for you. You need to make more money

162. now that Lisa is a stay-at-home.

163. - A what? - A stay-at-home mother.

164. Lisa told me that's what they're called now. What a terrible expression.

165. Like you have some bracelet on your foot that'll ring if you leave your house.

166. - Lisa's going back to work. - Of course she is.

167. When Maya goes to kindergarten.

168. Uh...

169. Why are you holding a mousetrap?

170. I found a box of them.

171. Remember when we had that mouse infestation years ago?

172. Those things are so cruel.

173. Mice have germs. They deserve to die.

174. Okay.

175. Well, let's just hope that bad rehearsal

176. means good show tomorrow night.

177. Good night, everybody.

178. David.

179. What, was my solo awful?

180. No, no, no, no. It's, it's...

181. it's good. It is.

182. But I think you need to stop trying to make it so, um...

183. perfect.

184. Oh, okay.

185. Just try to be more relaxed with it, okay?

186. Okay, great, well, we'll see you tomorrow night.

187. Hey, David. We're going out for a drink.

188. It's only going to be...

189. A drink, yes, absolutely.

190. Dennis can kiss my lily-white ass.

191. I mean, it's not like it's the Met.

192. Hey, he's just trying to...

193. I mean, your solo is a little...

194. - It's... - What?

195. It's prissy.

196. It's like a little girl's dollhouse,

197. like a kitty-cat greeting card,

198. like a poofy white cutesy-pie.

199. - It... - Thanks, Terry, I get the point.

200. God, I was just trying to make it sound...

201. - pretty. - That's the point, dear. Don't.

202. Just sing from someplace real.

203. God, when did I become 400 years old?

204. On your last birthday.

205. Not that you would remember anything from that night.

206. He was actually trying to convince this guy

207. that he used to be in Cirque du Soleil.

208. Ter, show him the coming-down- from-a-trapeze-look, please.

209. I have to go to the bathroom.

210. I'll get a check so we can get out of here.

211. This one is obsessed with "Trading Spaces. "

212. We're lucky we got him this long.

213. Look, I know I'm not supposed to say anything, but I will.

214. I feel weird not acknowledging it.

215. - What? - You know, it.

216. - How we know each other. - From chorus?

217. Fine, just pretend. Whatever.

218. I don't know what you're talking about.

219. From the bathroom at Sears.

220. It was what, seven, eight years ago?

221. You jerked me off. The second stall?

222. The security guy almost caught us?

223. Uh...

224. Honestly, you're confusing me with someone else.

225. Oh, come on.

226. You checked me out in Automotive Supplies,

227. I followed you into Home Appliances,

228. we met up in the second floor john where everyone...

229. - This wasn't me. - Oh please.

230. Fine, be that way.

231. Is that enough? Do you need more?

232. I think $40 is too much.

233. So David, is your boyfriend coming to the concert tomorrow?

234. Yeah, he's supposed to.

235. I can't wait to meet him.

236. - God damn it. - Aren't there instructions?

237. A page of hieroglyphics showing nothing that came in this box.

238. What are you doing?

239. I'm circling problem purchases on the Visa bill.

240. - Problem purchases? - Mm-hmm.

241. Things we bought that maybe we didn't need

242. or could buy less of.

243. You mean things I bought.

244. What are these little smiley faces? Good purchases?

245. - No, I was just doodling. - Mm.

246. I don't see why these are problem purchases.

247. This was lunch with David. I had to eat.

248. You didn't have to spend $55. What did you have?

249. - A couple of sandwiches. - This country is insane.

250. What about this one?

251. You dropped $80 at Book Soup.

252. I guess you haven't heard of libraries.

253. Libraries are depressing.

254. Nate, you're not single anymore.

255. You can't keep spending like you are.

256. Okay, I'll try to cut down.

257. You know, until you go back to work.

258. Um, actually, I'm holding off looking for another job.

259. Really? For how long?

260. I don't know. We'll see.

261. Because my mom seems to think that

262. it's until Maya starts kindergarten.

263. This is not a decision you can make without me.

264. Okay.

265. Hey.

266. That was a late rehearsal.

267. Yeah, we just...

268. You know, the concert's tomorrow night so...

269. Oh, what time should I be there?

270. Uh, 7:30.

271. I don't get off until 9:00 at the earliest.

272. You can't make it?

273. Please don't try and make me feel guilty.

274. I did everything I could to change my schedule...

275. I understand. It's okay, really. You'll come to the next one.

276. Boy, just twist the knife in deeper.

277. I'm going to talk to Frank about this.

278. Keith, you really don't have to come.

279. It's not a big deal, I'm not angry.

280. Really?

281. Thank you...

282. for being so aware this isn't about you.

283. We really are making progress.

284. You know, this is really fucked up.

285. Missing your concert for this lame-ass job.

286. - I should just call in sick. - No, don't.

287. I don't get it. How did my life become so fucking meaningless?

288. I used to make a difference.

289. I used to protect people's lives.

290. - Now, I just protect their stuff. - Work isn't everything.

291. I give you some meaning, don't I? You give me meaning.

292. Of course.

293. But we can't be everything for each other, David.

294. I mean, that's just not possible.

295. I'll be done in a few minutes, Arthur. You're a little early.

296. Actually, I was a lot early.

297. So, I walked around the block for a while.

298. An elderly woman who was almost completely bald

299. told me to get off her lawn.

300. May I ask you a personal question?

301. You can ask.

302. Why did you choose me over the other applicants?

303. I'm only asking because I'm always looking

304. - to improve my interview skills. - Fair enough.

305. It was between you and Judy Lendaman,

306. but we just thought you would fit here better.

307. - Based on? - Well...

308. there was something in the way you talked about your...

309. - your grandmother. - My Great Aunt Pearl.

310. - Oh. - She was a very special woman.

311. I barely knew my parents.

312. They burned to death in a fire when I was five.

313. - Oh I'm sorry. - Aunt Pearl gave up everything for me.

314. - She home schooled me. - Yeah.

315. Yeah, you seem a little... home schooled.

316. Aw, shit.

317. These collagen lips are such a bitch.

318. I'm guessing your Aunt Pearl didn't like cussing, huh?

319. Not one bit.

320. She would have tarred me for that kind of language.

321. - Rico, have you... - Oh Mrs. F,

322. this is Arthur Martin, our new apprentice.

323. Hello. Excuse me, have you seen Nate?

324. Lisa's looking for him.

325. - That'll be $62.90. - There you go.

326. Oh.

327. I have to talk to my manager.

328. I need credit approval!

329. This CD is so great for like

330. taking diet pills and cleaning your bathroom.

331. - What are you doing? - Uh...

332. Do you even listen to me when I talk?

333. Or do you just hear static every time I open my mouth?

334. How on earth do you expect Maya to go to college?

335. You're throwing everything we have together away for fucking Beck?

336. Just sign here, please.

337. You know what? I don't want these, I changed my mind.

338. So can we just cancel this purchase?

339. Come on, Claire.

340. The early worm catches things. Let's go.

341. Okay, where's your studio?

342. In my house. Why is that your business?

343. - Isn't that where we're going? - No.

344. We're going to the Century City Mall.

345. - The mall? - Best mall in the world.

346. I used to like Livingston Mall when I taught at Rutgers.

347. But then Bambergers went out of business and it went to hell.

348. Wait, You need an assistant to shop?

349. I need an assistant to drive me.

350. My license was taken away by a jack-booted fascist.

351. I don't know why I am always persecuted,

352. but it has always been so.

353. So... I'm your driver?

354. Yes, can we go now? Brentano's is having a sale.

355. And if I ever catch you with my toothbrush again,

356. you're dead meat.

357. This is my brother Nate.

358. Nate, this is Tom Jaffe.

359. William Jaffe's son.

360. Oh, I didn't realize he had a...

361. Look, I'm so sorry for your loss.

362. I was only a few months old when he...

363. when it happened.

364. I never even knew him.

365. Tom was just dropping off some of his father's belongings.

366. It seems kind of strange considering that there's no real body.

367. In situations like your father's, we find it helps the family to put

368. some of his belongings to rest also.

369. Well, I hope this'll do.

370. Was your father a little person?

371. No, this was the only suit of his my mother could find.

372. It was in some box his family had.

373. It's from his Bar Mitzvah.

374. Oh, and there's this.

375. It was in the same box.

376. It either belonged to him or my uncle.

377. My mother thinks she remembers my father liking "Blue Bayou. "

378. Well, I'm going to get fired if I'm not back by 2:00.

379. So if that's all...

380. Yes, we'll see you tomorrow afternoon at the funeral.

381. Thanks.

382. What's wrong with you?

383. Can you imagine being so calm about your father's death?

384. Well, he probably thinks of his step father as his real father,

385. - as he should. - He doesn't know about his dad.

386. Not a thing.

387. He has no idea whether he even liked Linda Ronstadt.

388. Do you know if our dad liked Linda Ronstadt?

389. As a matter of fact, I do.

390. When I cleaned out his record collection,

391. there was a copy of "Heart like a Wheel" in it.

392. Here are the teacups,

393. and these are dinner plates.

394. Those up there are for casseroles.

395. And these are the cereal bowls.

396. Please feel free to use any of the dishes.

397. Is there one I shouldn't use?

398. It's silly. That one used to be David's special yellow bowl.

399. He would get upset when anyone else used it.

400. But I'm sure he won't mind anymore.

401. Let's not take the chance.

402. - We'll keep it out of rotation. - Thank you.

403. Now, you see the chart I made?

404. Each meal time is divided into two shifts.

405. One for each of us.

406. So, we never have to suffer the awkwardness

407. of both eating at the same time.

408. Thank you. That's very thoughtful.

409. We just sign up each day for the one we want.

410. So my dinner can be from 6:00-7:00,

411. - or from 7:00-8:00. - Exactly.

412. Which do you want tonight?

413. - I'll take 7:00. - Um.

414. Actually, I'll take 6:00.

415. Oh good, I had a late lunch.

416. Just use that pen there to initial it.

417. Of course other people in this house

418. obviously also use the kitchen.

419. If you want to make a schedule with them too,

420. feel free to use my system.

421. Laundry facilities are in here.

422. Now, Sunday nights are off limits to you.

423. I'm very sorry, but that's when I do my linens.

424. Yes, ma'am.

425. I understand completely.

426. I should write down that part

427. about never aiming the shower head at that part of the tile.

428. No need, it's all in the little booklet that's hanging by the sink.

429. What a lovely room. Such warm light.

430. It does the trick.

431. "The second drawer sticks unless you lift as you pull. "

432. Thank you. That's very kind.

433. All right, then. That's the end of the tour.

434. - You're on your own now. - Thank you.

435. Nate?

436. Oh my God.

437. What are you doing here?

438. I should have called first.

439. I was afraid you'd...

440. I need to talk to you.

441. It won't take long.

442. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important.

443. I don't know.

444. I've got a lot of errands I have to run today.

445. Uh, can I come with you?

446. Please?

447. It seems like I just got this thing smog checked last month.

448. You know, I called you when I first got back into town...

449. a couple of months ago?

450. I hung up when you answered.

451. I just wanted to make sure that you were alive.

452. I'm sorry, it's just...

453. After everything we went through,

454. to not even know if you're alive?

455. That's... sad.

456. But apparently your surgery was a success, right?

457. Yeah.

458. Well, the AVM ruptured in the middle of it,

459. and all hell broke loose, but they... fixed it.

460. Oh, thank God.

461. Use your fucking signal, woman!

462. You can go up my ass!

463. Claire.

464. I once had an affair with an older married woman.

465. Her name was Astra.

466. That means star, did you know that?

467. Have you ever committed infidelity?

468. No, not yet.

469. But someday, hopefully.

470. Infidelity is not funny, Claire, it's tragic.

471. All betrayal is tragic.

472. I was 21 when we first met.

473. The radio was playing "I Wear My Sunglasses at Night. "

474. Such an insipid song.

475. But now it always makes my heart feel...

476. squished.

477. - Aw, she's beautiful. - Yeah.

478. She's the best fucking thing that ever happened to me.

479. So what's going on with you?

480. Oh...

481. I went to Santa Fe for a while.

482. I was in Austin, Texas,

483. a couple of weeks in Tahoe, but I just really hated it.

484. What were you doing there?

485. Just trying to find a place that would make me feel better.

486. Are you still living in Venice?

487. I'm staying at my mom's right now.

488. And how's that?

489. It's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

490. Okay.

491. Bad news, your car didn't pass.

492. I can fix it, but I'll need about a half an hour.

493. All right.

494. That totally fucks up my whole afternoon.

495. You know, I saw a place up the street,

496. we could get a drink.

497. So, what's your life like?

498. Married, a father?

499. It's great.

500. It's really great.

501. I'm glad.

502. You so deserve to be happy

503. after everything you've been through.

504. I mean it's hard sometimes.

505. You know, relationships aren't easy.

506. Really?

507. You just have to work at it every day.

508. You can't expect everything to be perfect all the time,

509. and you can't get shaken when it isn't.

510. If there's a moment when I feel like I'm in prison,

511. I just have to think about all those moments when it feels safe.

512. And remind myself that those moments

513. outweigh the prison moments.

514. Being alone is the prison.

515. Just thinking about yourself.

516. Just being trapped in this fucking vortex

517. of always watching yourself.

518. Which I suppose is okay if you're interesting.

519. The truth is, nobody's that interesting.

520. Oh listen to me.

521. Let's just talk about movies or something.

522. Sorry, I haven't even seen a movie in like a year.

523. Anything else?

524. No.

525. Just the check.

526. Fuck.

527. So Bren, what's this little catching-up session all about?

528. I'm not sure.

529. Actually, I am sure.

530. This is so difficult.

531. I apologize...

532. for having sex with other people

533. while being in a committed relationship with you.

534. For not showing up to our shared reality

535. by altering my consciousness with various substances.

536. But you already apologized...

537. Ah, you're making amends.

538. I hate that word.

539. Still doing the whole 12-step thing?

540. I'm doing a lot of different things.

541. My life is...

542. complicated right now.

543. Yeah, well, whose isn't?

544. - Here. - No, no, no, let me.

545. Oh.

546. Thanks.

547. I don't even know if she's alive now.

548. All I know is that before I met Astra

549. I was consumed by this passion to create.

550. A passion I seem to have lost.

551. I was never really in love with her, you know?

552. Of course you were.

553. You ripped a jasmine bush out of the ground for her

554. - and put it in her car. - No, no, no.

555. I had just had my first real success,

556. and all eyes were on me, what was I going to do next?

557. I was a coward.

558. I focused on another person.

559. I could have been great.

560. And so can you.

561. If you get lonely, have sex.

562. But if you meet somebody who you think means something to you,

563. you're doomed.

564. Car 438, car 438, do you receive me?

565. Yeah, go ahead.

566. Alarm going off at 5636 Fremont Place.

567. Got it, I'm on my way.

568. You're a little late.

569. Insider job. Must've known the owners were away.

570. Went straight for the jewelry upstairs and the cashbox in the library.

571. Real neat and clean.

572. You boys sure you're going to be okay closing up by yourselves?

573. Yeah, I think we can handle it.

574. Fucking cops.

575. Think they're such hot shit.

576. Hey.

577. Dion Corelli.

578. Keith Charles.

579. You were hoping for some action, right?

580. Yeah, I guess so.

581. I know that feeling.

582. Hey, how about I buy you a drink?

583. Are you sure that's comfortable?

584. I don't know when I got so clumsy. I never used to be this way.

585. I think it's too tight.

586. No, it's fine, really.

587. It was so strange I put my finger right on that nail

588. when I heard you coming up the stairs.

589. I mean, I'd seen it sticking out of the wall, but...

590. Why didn't you tell me about it? I would have fixed it.

591. It was almost like somebody pushed me.

592. Like some kind of invisible person

593. wanted to hurt me.

594. And earlier in the day,

595. I twisted my ankle coming down the stairs.

596. I was looking for you, for something.

597. It was around 4:00.

598. I couldn't find you anywhere.

599. I went out for a drink.

600. With Brenda.

601. Why?

602. She just showed up.

603. I was running some errands, she came along.

604. Getting a drink is an errand?

605. What did she want?

606. To apologize for being such a crazy bitch

607. when we were together.

608. Actually, it was pretty decent of her.

609. What? Lisa, it was just one beer.

610. Yeah, well, I really don't appreciate finding out about it after the fact.

611. It's no big deal, but next time if something like this happens,

612. please tell me first before you go do it.

613. What am I supposed to do, come ask permission?

614. No, but you could have said,

615. "Hey, I want you to meet my wife," then introduced me

616. and said you were gonna go catch up with an old girlfriend.

617. You're right.

618. I'm sorry.

619. Relax, guy, the owners are in Antigua.

620. They're not going to mind.

621. We shouldn't be doing this.

622. Come on, you deserve it.

623. It's not like we're going to get caught.

624. We're the only ones who would catch us.

625. This is some place.

626. Yeah, I bet the people who live here don't even appreciate it.

627. Probably not.

628. No one appreciates what they have.

629. Especially the ones who have more of it.

630. Fucking rich people.

631. What can you do?

632. Don't you ever just want to...

633. That felt so good.

634. Go on.

635. Yeah.

636. What the hell are you doing, man?

637. Let's fuck this place up.

638. Come on, those idiot cops didn't even check in here.

639. We'll go to town and say the robbers did it.

640. Let's just break some shit!

641. Teach those greedy rich fuckers a lesson.

642. You're crazy.

643. Come on guy, you know you want to.

644. Hey, cut it out!

645. Cut it out! Cut it out!

646. Okay, okay, okay, okay!

647. Jesus!

648. What the fuck?

649. You did a great job tonight, David.

650. You were amazing.

651. Dennis, can I borrow you for five seconds?

652. This is the part where Patrick makes me

653. go over every syllable he sang,

654. describing why each was so unique and wonderful.

655. - Hey, Terry. - Where's your boyfriend?

656. He had to work.

657. Okay, it was me.

658. In the Sears bathroom, you know?

659. Honey, I know it was you.

660. I never forget a... a face.

661. God, it feels so good just to say it.

662. I don't know why I wouldn't just admit it yesterday.

663. It just seemed so...

664. Sleazy, repressed, not that pretty?

665. Yeah, something like that.

666. That time for me was so difficult.

667. I mean, really difficult.

668. I tried so hard to compartmentalize

669. that part of my life, but you can't...

670. Sweetie, you don't need to explain it to me.

671. I don't know why things should have to be so hard for people.

672. I guess because we make them that way.

673. So...

674. you ever jerk off anyone else in the chorus?

675. Of course not.

676. You?

677. A couple.

678. So, if I let you up, no more crazy stuff?

679. No, sir.

680. Holy shit, man.

681. You didn't have to play so hard.

682. I was just blowing off a little steam.

683. Get your things and get out of here.

684. You ever a cop?

685. No.

686. Well, whatever you are,

687. you got a lot of shit to deal with.

688. I could always talk to Will because he was my best buddy.

689. So my wife said why don't you pretend that he's here?

690. What would you tell him?

691. So, I thought what the hell, I'll give it a try.

692. So, I say,

693. God damn you, Will, I'm mad at you.

694. You're not getting bald and befuddled and flabby

695. like the rest of us old tired married folk.

696. You had the right idea, though.

697. Cut out while you were in your prime.

698. Hangover.

699. What trouble did you boys get into last night?

700. None, Keith had to work.

701. I had a concert.

702. You did? Why didn't you tell anyone?

703. Next time.

704. I'm going to go lie down for a few minutes.

705. All right.

706. You're glad that you're not like us,

707. tied to the old ball and chain,

708. unable to do whatever we want when we want

709. like you always did.

710. Oh.

711. Why do you look so sad?

712. I won't be gone forever.

713. I'll be back from Montana in a month or so

714. as soon as I get Marcy out of jail

715. and into some sort of counseling.

716. Which I'm sure she'll resist. Always does.

717. Does your daughter have these episodes often?

718. Pretty often.

719. She's a real nut job.

720. But what can I do, I'm her mom.

721. She really needs me.

722. Oh God, kids are such a drain.

723. They really suck you dry if you let 'em.

724. My kids don't need me, not at all.

725. Thank your fucking lucky stars.

726. So, where's that coffee you promised me?

727. Can you wait seven minutes?

728. Um, not really.

729. Bettina, this isn't right, get up.

730. No.

731. - I love spying. - Well, I don't.

732. Sure you do, everyone does.

733. We're all voyeurs at heart.

734. We're all just dying to see

735. everybody else's fucked up weird private shit.

736. I'm going to miss you so much.

737. I've had so much fun with you.

738. I'd never crouch here

739. and spy on Arthur with anyone else.

740. Doll, you gotta learn how to make your own fun.

741. He's not exactly what I would call eye candy.

742. "Uh-oh, I think I just swallowed my tongue. "

743. And I know that everything that happens,

744. happens for a reason.

745. I only wish that Will could have known his son, Tom.

746. There's so much he could have taught him.

747. That's a load of bullshit.

748. You met my kid, he turned out fine.

749. He didn't need a fuck-up like me to stick around.

750. Me driving off the side of the road that night

751. was the best thing for everybody involved.

752. Seriously, Diane and I, we had a shit relationship

753. which totally would have screwed up that kid.

754. Just like you and Lisa are gonna screw up Maya.

755. Fuck you.

756. You just want to stay in this to prove what a good guy you can be.

757. Not because you love Lisa.

758. This isn't just about me, you fucking idiot!

759. There are other lives at stake.

760. Don't give me that shit. You are so fucking trapped.

761. - Yeah? - Yeah.

762. Well, who isn't?

763. The only way not to be trapped is to not have anything.

764. You look me in the eye and tell me

765. that sometimes you don't want to get in your car

766. and just start driving

767. and never look back.

768. Come on...

769. I dare ya.

770. But of course he did manage to pull off one big trick.

771. He made himself disappear for 25 years.

772. Claire.

773. Claire.

774. Hi, I've been calling your name. You didn't hear me?

775. No, sorry, I was totally in my head.

776. Did you get my message from last night?

777. Oh, no, I got in really late.

778. It's okay, it was about my brother's wedding.

779. Get this, there's a rehearsal dinner.

780. Russell...

781. maybe it's not such a good idea for us to, you know...

782. date.

783. It's so weird that you say that.

784. It's so weird that you say that,

785. because I was thinking the same thing.

786. And I didn't want to say it

787. because I thought I'd sound crazy

788. being the one who started this whole thing.

789. So, you're okay, just like staying the way we are?

790. Totally. Totally.

791. - Yes. - Great.

792. I have to give this stuff to Olivier.

793. Oh, I'm sorry.

794. Did I read the chart wrong?

795. I thought you initialed the late lunch.

796. I did, I just got hungry.

797. - Is that okay? - Of course.

798. I'm glad to have the company.

799. Would you like a little frittata?

800. I would love a little frittata.

801. I was just fooling around.

802. I never dreamed it would actually work.

803. They work, they definitely work.

804. I feel so terrible.

805. And it wasn't even my cheese.

806. That's okay.

807. On the other hand, they have germs.

808. They really do deserve to die.

809. Are you just waking up?

810. I was up, then I went back to sleep again.

811. Why are you home for lunch?

812. I wanted to see you.

813. I thought you'd be home before me last night.

814. I waited up for a while, but must've fallen asleep.

815. - What time did you get in? - Late.

816. I thought your shift ended at 11:00.

817. It did.

818. I just drove around.

819. I needed some time to think about things.

820. Like what?

821. This job was supposed to be temporary,

822. but it's really starting not to feel that way.

823. Last night I realized I needed to make a move

824. and do something different.

825. What made you realize that?

826. It's just time.

827. How was your concert?

828. It was...

829. it was great.

830. I really wish you could've been there.

831. But I totally understand that you couldn't be.

832. Whoo-hoo!

833. Whoo-hoo!