1. Hello? Hello?
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2. - Hi. May I speak with Joe Marti, please?
- Speaking.
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3. - Glad I caught you.
- Is this a sales call?
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4. I wanted to let you know that a
representative from Americatech Windows...
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5. - I'm not interested.
- There's no obligation to buy.
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6. - Look, I said no.
- We're offering interest-free...
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7. Hey. Goodbye, asshole.
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8. Fuckl He's got a gunl
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9. Get down!
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10. Hey, remember me?
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11. Daniel, what the hell... Oh, my God.
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12. - Please. No. Please.
- Fuck you.
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13. Hello?
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14. - This is OK?
- Yeah.
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15. - You sure you're comfortable?
- Aren't you?
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16. - Do you wanna get on top?
- I don't have to. You want me to?
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17. If you want to. But I'm fine like this.
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18. Maya's right there.
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19. - She's not looking.
- I know, but...
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20. - Hi, this is Lisa.
- And Nate.
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21. And Maya. Come on, sweetie.
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22. And we're the Fisher family.
Leave a message.
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23. Hi, Lisa, it's Carol.
Please pick up if you're there.
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24. I don' t know where else you could be.
Both your cars are in my driveway.
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25. Listen, I need muffins.
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26. Corn muffins. I have an intense craving
for miniature corn muffins.
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27. Please! This is my one hour a day to eat carbs.
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28. Shut up!
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29. - Stop ignoring me.
- Don't make her the muffins.
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30. - Don't make her the muffins.
- Hello?
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31. That's great.
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32. David.
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33. David. It's a little early.
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34. Sorry. I wanna make sure I get it right.
Some of the guys in this chorus are so good.
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35. - One of them recorded with Chanticleer.
- You sound great.
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36. - I even dreamed about singing last night.
- You weren't just dreaming.
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37. - Oh, God. Punch me next time.
- I did.
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38. - What happened to your uniform?
- I tore it getting a Frisbee out of a tree.
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39. - Why were you...
- That's what security guards do.
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40. We help people.
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41. - I'm leaving.
- Would you like beef blast pizza rolls?
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42. - I doubt it.
- Me neither.
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43. But with a double coupon it's practically free.
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44. Maybe the boys will like them.
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45. - I may not be home tonight.
- Take a sweater.
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46. You've reached the Fisher family.
Leave a message.
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47. Ruth, are you there?
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48. It's Sarah. I'm just checking up on you.
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49. I know what a drag it is to be out of work.
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50. I thought you might
wanna come up to Topanga for the day.
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51. I could make some of Aunt May's
German potato salad. I know you liked that.
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52. Call me. Bye.
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53. You liked her potato salad. I hated it.
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54. Just... It just never occurs to you...
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55. that a madman will walk
into your husband's office
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56. and suddenly, he's gone.
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57. No, of course not.
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58. And then there's telling the children.
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59. We have two girls.
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60. 12 and 16.
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61. What shall I say to them,
to make them feel better?
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62. What?
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63. Well, you could...
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64. - Hello.
- Glad you could make it.
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65. - Nate, this is Dorothy Milne.
- Nate Fisher.
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66. That's my partner.
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67. I'm very sorry about your husband.
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68. I know those are just words.
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69. But we'll work together with you
to give him a fitting tribute.
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70. Thank you.
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71. Everything's already been taken care of.
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72. - We're done.
- OK.
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73. Let me walk you to your car.
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74. I didn't even go to my prom.
If somebody asked me, I'd have freaked out.
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75. I took Nancy Pollard.
She smelled like fried chicken.
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76. - Why?
- I don't know. She just did.
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77. I got a bottle of champagne
with my friend Parker
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78. and we climbed the fence to school
and just sat in the quad
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79. and got drunk
and said good-fucking-bye to high school.
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80. - Nice.
- Then we both started crying.
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81. Why?
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82. I don't know.
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83. I guess we were saying goodbye
to our childhood or whatever.
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84. It just seemed sad.
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85. - Yeah.
- I hated fucking high school.
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86. But still, it was my life and it was all I knew.
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87. It was just over.
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88. - God, could I be any more pathetic?
- You're not pathetic.
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89. - You're just sensitive.
- I know. I'm too sensitive.
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90. No. You're perfect.
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91. What time do you have to get up?
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92. I'm gonna have to get up in three hours.
I haven't done the assignment yet.
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93. - You keep distracting me.
- I do?
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94. Yeah, my hands are
magnetically drawn to your dick.
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95. What is the assignment?
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96. I have to read and critique
some theoretical conceptual bullshit.
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97. They make you take all the boring classes
before they let you do anything cool with clay.
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98. I know exactly how you feel.
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99. - No, you don't.
- That's why I dropped out of music school.
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100. All I wanted to do was write great music.
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101. But they had me studying all this shit
that had nothing to do with anything.
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102. They try to programme your mind
so you're exactly like everyone else.
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103. Don't let them do that to you.
You're too talented.
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104. - You think so?
- What?
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105. You think I like you just cos
you have the softest skin I've ever felt?
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106. I don't know.
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107. You're amazing, Claire.
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108. - Hello, beautiful ladies.
- Good morning.
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109. Thank you for letting me sleep in.
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110. - Does your brother like eggplant?
- I don't know.
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111. I guess.
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112. I figured we could grill some salmon tonight.
I just don't know what else.
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113. - Is that tonight?
- Yes.
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114. - Can we cancel?
- It was your idea.
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115. I know. Sounded good at the time, but...
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116. I see David at work every day. It's not like
I'm dying to spend quality time with Keith.
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117. You wanted David to see Maya.
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118. OK, you're right. We'll do it.
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119. Your Uncle David's coming over.
Won't that be fun?
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120. Yeah. Yeah.
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121. Try it once more. Please.
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122. Try it once more.
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123. Great. Thank you.
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124. - Lisa, you're being careful?
- I'm being very delicate.
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125. Hey, Maya.
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126. - I think you're going too deep.
- Nate, you worry too much.
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127. Just because you deal with people dying.
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128. Sometimes after you clean her ears
she doesn't respond as quickly.
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129. - You think I've injured her?
- No.
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130. Maybe there's some ringing in her ears
after you've cleaned them.
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131. Nate, I know whether my child can hear or not,
and she can hear.
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132. - She's been tested and she can hear.
- Right.
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133. - Your child?
- I didn't mean...
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134. I'm just the father,
but I'm every bit as committed.
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135. - Nate.
- I'm just trying to help.
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136. I need to work.
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137. You've reached the Fisher family.
Please leave a message.
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138. Ruth, it's Sarah.
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139. I am disappointed you didn't call back.
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140. I'll be honest. I was trying
to trick you into coming out here.
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141. I need you.
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142. I hurt my back and I'm all alone...
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143. - What did you do?
- I fell off a ladder.
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144. - Have you seen a doctor?
- He told me to stay in bed.
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145. He gave me a prescription for Vicodin.
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146. What do you need me to do?
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147. Pick it up for me.
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148. Give me the address of the pharmacy.
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149. Oh, Ruth. I knew I could count on you.
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150. - Are you doing this with me?
- Yes.
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151. I can do it myself, David.
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152. I'm sure that's true, but Nate and I
find it's helpful to have two people.
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153. Why? So one of you can sleep late?
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154. And of course we'll place
an obituary notice in the paper.
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155. No.
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156. We'd like to keep this private
and as simple as possible.
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157. You see this kind of thing on TV
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158. and you think,
"Oh, my God, those poor people."
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159. But now it's happening to us
and we have to see it...
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160. every time we turn on.
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161. Thank you.
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162. We knew that Daniel was a troubled boy
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163. but we really thought he was getting better.
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164. Your son isn't the one who did the shooting?
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165. - Yes.
- I'm sorry.
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166. - We can't possibly...
- Imagine what you must be going through.
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167. But you can rest assured
we will do everything we can
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168. to help you through this dark time.
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169. Thank you.
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170. Fisher and Sons has never turned down
a funeral and neither will Fisher and Diaz.
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171. That's great. When Dorothy Milne
is crying over her husband's casket,
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172. I'll tell her you're next door arranging flowers
round the man who killed him.
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173. The services will be on different days.
There will be no conflict.
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174. Come on. I know you like to make a buck
but isn't this going a little far?
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175. That's got nothing to do with it.
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176. The funeral is for the living, not the deceased.
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177. Really? Yeah, I read the same book as you.
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178. Do you think Mr and Mrs Showalter
are in any less pain than Dorothy Milne?
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179. Maybe I don't give a shit.
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180. If they'd raised their kid better
he may not have killed those people.
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181. - Rico, you can't blame them.
- Yes, I can blame them, and I do.
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182. Whether you like it or not, this is your job.
You have to put your feelings aside.
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183. - I need you to pick up his body.
- Fuck you. You pick it up.
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184. I got nothing to do with this.
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185. Hello, I'm Ruth, Sarah's sister.
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186. If you got here five minutes ago
you could have cleaned up her puke.
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187. I'm Bettina. Come on in.
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188. Sarah, your sister's here.
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189. - Ruth.
- My goodness, you look awful.
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190. Bettina, can we have a moment alone?
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191. - Why?
- She's my sister and we need to talk.
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192. What's in the bag?
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193. - It's just...
- Some things I asked her to bring for me.
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194. Lip balm, hair clips, strawberries.
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195. - No...
- Fork it over.
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196. Help me, I'm being held hostage...
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197. Shut your mouth or I'll goddamn tape it shut!
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198. - Goodness, what's going on?
- Ruth, please!
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199. Do I have to carry you back to bed
or are you gonna walk by yourself?
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200. Bitch.
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201. - Give me the bag.
- It's her Vicodin. She has a prescription.
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202. Of course. She has Vicodin prescriptions
in half the pharmacies in LA.
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203. Your sister's into her second day of withdrawal.
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204. She begged me to make sure
she got through it. No matter what.
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205. Fuck that. I was high.
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206. I'm sorry, Keith,
I'm having problems at the morgue.
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207. - Why didn't you call before?
- I didn't know it'd take so long.
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208. - I'm sorry.
- Fine. Whatever.
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209. I'll see you tonight.
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210. He can't make it.
I'm sorry for wasting your time.
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211. You don't need to leave. You and I can talk.
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212. - We can do that?
- Sure. Why not?
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213. Tell me about that phone call.
How did it make you feel?
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214. Pissed off. But I'm working
on my anger management technique.
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215. - I'm taking a lot of deep breaths.
- That's good.
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216. Have you been feeling a lot of anger
toward David?
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217. I've been giving myself so many damn
time-outs, I haven't been feeling anything.
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218. Maybe this is a good time
to let some of that anger out.
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219. I'm fine.
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220. Pretend David's sitting there next to you.
What do you wanna say to him?
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221. Anything that comes to mind.
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222. Relax. Stop trying so hard.
You're making me nervous.
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223. What other things would you like to tell him
that you don't like about him?
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224. I hate your stupid little buckwheat pillow.
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225. And I hate your nose spray.
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226. I hate the way you eat. You put your fork down
after every bite like you're some prince.
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227. I hate the way you want to sleep
with your head on my shoulder.
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228. Your head is heavy.
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229. I hate the way you make me feel like my father
by letting me walk all over you.
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230. What?
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231. I always thought by being gay
I'd avoid fucking my mother
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232. but I guess that's not the case.
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233. Have you thought
about seeing a therapist on your own?
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234. - This is great.
- It's my polenta. You like it?
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235. - It's delicious.
- Thank you.
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236. - Hello.
- Hi. It's Carol.
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237. - Hello.
- Lisa.
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238. I'm at Mark and Pam's place in the mountains.
Their cook knows nothing.
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239. - Walk them through your basil vinaigrette.
- Right now?
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240. Yes. The salad's waiting.
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241. - What?
- I gotta deal with this.
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242. - Go ahead. I'll start the grill.
- I still have laundry to do.
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243. I'll do it. Go.
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244. - Lisa?
- Hey, Lise.
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245. - Lisal
- I'm sorry about this morning.
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246. - Me too.
- Are you still there?
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247. I worry about Maya.
I get scared something will go wrong.
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248. - Nothing's gonna go wrong.
- Salad dressing.
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249. I know. Maya has the best mom in the world.
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250. Hello?
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251. I need dressing.
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252. I mean, Gabe was definitely exciting.
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253. In kind of a sick way. But I think Phil's
the only guy who's ever really understood me.
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254. That's cool. Not even my imaginary friends
understand me.
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255. Maybe they do, they just don't like me.
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256. - You need better imaginary friends.
- They're the best I can do.
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257. So what do you really like about this guy?
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258. I don't know. He's sweet.
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259. - He's hot.
- Nice.
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260. - He's got his own band.
- It's Keanu Reeves.
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261. Exactly.
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262. You know what... Come on, Claire,
those are superficial things.
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263. And you seem anything but superficial.
What do you really like about him?
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264. Well, I like the way he treats me.
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265. You know, he makes me feel good.
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266. Like I'm kind of OK.
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267. Like I'm smart and talented and pretty.
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268. Uh-oh. I'm totally embarrassed now.
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269. No. Women tell me
this kind of thing all the time.
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270. I'm the guy who listens.
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271. Yeah, you do listen.
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272. That's really nice about you.
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273. - I really like talking to you.
- I like listening to you.
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274. I hope it could go both ways. If you're dating
anyone, you can totally talk to me.
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275. Thanks, but no, I'm not dating. No dating.
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276. I think I'm kind of allergic.
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277. I start itching
and I swell up and bleed profusely.
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278. No, it sounds really nice
having somebody in your life
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279. that makes you hate yourself less.
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280. - I could use that.
- Come on. I mean, you're great.
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281. - I wasn't fishing.
- I'm serious, Russell. I think you're great.
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282. Tell me that when it's two in the morning
and I'm laying in bed
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283. and I'm eating my fourth bowl of cereal
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284. and I'm beating myself up for some stupid thing
I said in eighth grade.
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285. - What kind of cereal?
- Captain Crunch.
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286. My God. I think we're twins.
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287. This whole "Oops, I'm pregnant" thing
still sounds kind of suspicious to me.
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288. I'm just surprised he married her.
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289. If Nate's happy, that's all I care about.
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290. You're still mad at me?
I'm really sorry I missed therapy.
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291. No. I was happy you weren't there.
Frank was too.
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292. Frank loves me.
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293. Yeah, but he thinks
you got a lot of work to do on yourself.
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294. That's so not true.
Maybe it's true but he'd never say that.
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295. Did you talk about me the whole time?
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296. After we decided you were
a hopeless passive-aggressive guilt sponge
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297. and we decided to move on
to more important things.
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298. God, I'm never gonna miss therapy again.
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299. I bet you won't, bitch.
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300. Well, hello.
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301. - Hey, Nate.
- Hey, Dave. How are you?
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302. - Hey, guys.
- Keith, good to see you.
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303. I used to burn the fuck out of everything
until I discovered the miracle of low, even heat.
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304. The secret is mesquite wood chips.
Do you use mesquite?
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305. That's just a gimmick. It's the marinade
that makes all the difference.
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306. - I just like wearing the apron.
- Nate.
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307. Where did you put her blue blankie?
She can't sleep without it.
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308. - I didn't put it anywhere.
- I couldn't find it.
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309. - Did you give her Mr Fat Fanny?
- He's in her sweet little hands.
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310. All right.
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311. I think we're ready.
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312. Good. Let me go wash up.
Where's your little boys' room?
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313. The bathroom is in the back
behind the kitchen.
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314. Don't flush the toilet.
We don't wanna wake Maya.
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315. So how's the choir going?
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316. Well, it's not a choir, it's a chorus,
but it's going well.
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317. Great. Can't wait to hear you.
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318. - No eggplant for me.
- I'll take his.
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319. - Want mozzarella?
- Yes.
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320. - Great.
- I'll go.
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321. - What did I miss?
- You woke the baby.
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322. - It wasn't asleep.
- Yes, it was.
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323. It wasn't. It looked at me when I went in.
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324. - I told him not to flush.
- David said he had that irritable bowel thing.
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325. - Why did you tell him that?
- It just came up.
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326. Please, don't discuss my private stuff.
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327. - I'm sorry.
- We'll never get her back to sleep.
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328. - By the way, I only peed.
- You shouldn't have flushed.
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329. - It wasn't asleep.
- Maya, row the boat ashore
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330. Hallelujah
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331. Maya, row the boat ashore
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332. Hallelujah
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333. My brothers and sisters are all aboard
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334. That song has never
sounded so creepy before.
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335. - My brothers and sisters are all aboard
- I know.
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336. - Hallelujah
- My goodness.
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337. You gotta be kidding me.
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338. - What's he doing here?
- Wasn't my idea.
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339. Look at you in your fancy fucking suit.
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340. - I knew I never should have hired you.
- You shouldn't have fired me.
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341. - You were a fuck-up.
- Jesus.
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342. Could you have made the hole a little bigger?
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343. Why can't you guys
shoot yourselves in the heart?
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344. Maybe I was trying to make a statement.
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345. Besides, it's really not my problem.
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346. Oh, yeah. Nothing's your problem.
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347. - Blow me, dead man.
- He had a wife and kids, asshole.
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348. - Lucky him. I didn't have shit.
- Whose fault is that?
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349. You couldn't show up to work on time.
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350. Maybe if you hadn't been such a prick.
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351. It's because of people like you
that I had to do this.
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352. What are you saying? This is my fault?
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353. I'm just saying a guy can only take so much
before he snaps.
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354. Hey. We all have to deal
with a lot of shit, all right?
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355. But when I snap I throw something
or punch a wall.
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356. I don't pick up a shotgun
and start killing people.
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357. Yeah. So far.
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358. God, it feels so good to sit here
and do absolutely nothing.
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359. We relax all the time. We have to.
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360. How do you like your new job, Keith?
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361. Well, it pretty much sucks.
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362. It's temporary. We're both going through
a lot of changes right now.
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363. - All good, though.
- How's the therapy going?
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364. Good. We're not fighting so much.
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365. We never really fought that much
but we're getting along much better.
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366. - Nate and I never fight.
- Never?
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367. - No.
- You two have never had a fight?
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368. - Not really.
- I don't know how you do it.
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369. We've known each other for so long,
I guess we just understand each other.
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370. Even so, I would think having a baby
adds so much stress.
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371. No, having a baby
helps put everything in perspective.
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372. - You'll see when you have kids.
- If we have kids.
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373. Knock, knock. Look, a party.
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374. Hello, I'm Carol, Lisa's boss.
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375. - Keith.
- I'm David Fisher.
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376. - This is my house.
- You're back early.
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377. There's nothing to do in the mountains.
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378. I mean, fresh air's such a big deal.
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379. - At least no one parks in my driveway there.
- Should we move?
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380. Lisa, I would love some cinnamon toast
and a cup of tea.
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381. - Could you wait just a little bit?
- You would not believe the day I've had.
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382. - Who is my most bitter enemy in the world?
- Should we go?
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383. - We're having a little get-together.
- Melissa Gilbert.
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384. And who opens the door at Mark and Pam's
house? That's right. Melissa Gilbert.
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385. It was like staring at evil itself.
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386. - Carol, you're not listening to me.
- I heard you. You're having a party.
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387. They've had you all day. I need you right now.
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388. Bring my toast up to my bath
and I'll tell you how I made Melissa cry.
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389. Go ahead, we're fine.
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390. Can you believe Lisa? Her self-perception
is so far removed from reality.
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391. Keith, what were you talking about in there?
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392. - If we have kids?
- Just what I said.
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393. If we have kids.
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394. We decided a long time ago
that we'd have kids. When did this change?
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395. Who are you kidding? We're in therapy
to see if we can exist as a couple.
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396. - Everything about us is if.
- That shouldn't change our goals.
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397. I'm just being realistic.
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398. I don't wanna put myself in a situation
where I end up turning into my father.
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399. I guess I'm a little more optimistic
about our future than you are.
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400. Get real. You and I are living day to day
and you know it.
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401. God, I'm freezing.
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402. God, this sucks. I'm dying.
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403. - It'll pass.
- Give me a Klonopin.
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404. You wanted to do this natural.
I already gave you the valerian root.
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405. - They're not doing shit to me.
- She's impossible.
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406. - Now get me an Ambien.
- Sarah, really.
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407. - It'll put her to sleep.
- Anything to shut her up.
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408. - I'm burning up.
- A moment ago you were freezing.
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409. Now I'm burning up.
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410. - Now what?
- Diarrhoea.
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411. This is what playing with drugs will get you.
It's not pretty, is it?
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412. - Is Carol all tucked in?
- After eight slices of toast and a Popsicle.
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413. - It was nice seeing David and Keith tonight.
- Yeah.
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414. - I feel so sorry for them.
- How come?
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415. They've been together such a short time
and already they need counselling.
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416. - They're just...
- Why do they stay together?
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417. - It's not like they have a kid.
- I don't know.
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418. Maybe they love each other.
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419. What?
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420. - What detergent did you use?
- I don't know. Whatever was there.
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421. - It smells like Tide.
- So I guess I used the Tide.
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422. You have to use the Dreft.
Maya gets a rash from anything else.
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423. - But these aren't Maya's clothes.
- But I hold Maya all day long.
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424. Why do we have Tide? Sorry
I wasn't following you around taking notes.
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425. Don't get mad.
I thought you knew to use Dreft.
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426. Obviously I didn't. Now I do. Are we OK here?
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427. Yeah, we're OK. I just have to wash it again.
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428. No, you don't. Here.
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429. Put those down. Here. I'll do it.
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430. Thank you.
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431. Good afternoon.
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432. - Is he...
- He's right in there.
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433. Mr and Mrs Showalter,
I will be here the entire time.
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434. Please let me know
if there's anything at all I can do for you.
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435. Is that another son?
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436. - I hope you frisked him.
- Please try to show a little sensitivity.
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437. Hey, I did my job. I cleaned him up all nice.
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438. Sure, I was tempted to maybe leave
a hand or a foot unembalmed,
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439. so he could stink like he should, but no.
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440. - I'm a professional.
- Then act like one.
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441. These people loved this man.
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442. They didn't know him as a murderer,
they knew him as their son, their brother.
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443. These people were responsible for him.
They should have known...
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444. Jesus Christ, Federico. I'm getting sick
of all this moral superiority.
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445. - Everything is so black and white for you.
- You know what? I just...
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446. You can't ever really know a person. If you
think you can, you're living in a dream world.
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447. I made egg salad.
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448. Jolts of electricity are shooting
through my body.
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449. They're tearing me apart.
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450. Then Bettina and I will eat.
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451. Maybe I'll have a little.
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452. So how long have you
been taking the Vicodin?
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453. I don't know.
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454. On and off for years.
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455. Why?
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456. Because somewhere along the line
I started to realise...
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457. I was no longer the youngest
or prettiest girl in the room.
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458. For a while I satisfied myself
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459. with being the most intriguing.
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460. But eventually
I just became the one in paisley.
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461. It's too fucking depressing.
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462. Sorry, but you know
you're much more than that.
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463. Yeah. You're a drug addict.
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464. - I need to spice this up a little.
- Tell me what you want.
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465. - No...
- Sit down.
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466. - I need spices.
- Where is it?
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467. - In the kitchen.
- Where is the Vicodin?
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468. - I don't know what...
- We found your stash in the laundry room.
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469. - Where else? The spice rack?
- You're being ridiculous.
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470. - Let me go.
- Where's the Vicodin?
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471. - You're hurting me.
- Where? Where?
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472. Where?
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473. In the coriander jar, you pig-fucker.
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474. Your lies aren't helping, dear.
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475. Here. Ruth and I are gonna go outside
and get some air.
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476. - What are you doing?
- You don't think I'm just gonna leave you?
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477. You can't tie me up.
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478. It's for your own good.
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479. Do you want me to break this arm?
Because I will.
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480. Yeah. That should hold.
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481. I hope the coyotes eat you!
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482. So do I!
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483. I don't know how you remain so calm.
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484. I took a Vicodin.
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485. - Not really?
- Yeah.
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486. I figured if there was ever a time...
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487. - You want one?
- No, thank you.
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488. I'll kill you both, I swear I will!
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489. Well, maybe half.
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490. Help!
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491. - I think there's some meatloaf in here.
- OK.
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492. - Hey.
- Hi.
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493. You're Phil, right, the crematory guy?
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494. Yeah. Hey, Nate.
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495. - What?
- Nothing.
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496. Mom called. She's spending another night
at Aunt Sarah's.
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497. Cool.
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498. - We're gonna stay here, then.
- Sure.
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499. Also there's a couple of death certificates
you could pick up tomorrow.
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500. Where?
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501. One's in a nursing home and the other,
I think, is also in a nursing home.
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502. I hate those places.
So many old people that wanna touch my hair.
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503. - Sometimes animals are that way.
- He gets on better with people.
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504. OK. And he likes people. And they like him.
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505. So he said, "Don't worry, Mum,
I'm gonna be just fine. "
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506. Hey, Lise.
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507. No, I'll probably just grab a sandwich here.
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508. I'll probably leave in about an hour.
I've still got a bunch of shit to do.
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509. I love you too. Give Maya a kiss from me. Bye.
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510. We're considering getting him a girlfriend.
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511. He's had a number of girlfriends.
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512. - Nate's the one who just got married?
- Yeah.
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513. You like his wife?
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514. I don't really know her that well, but I like her.
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515. You should have met his last girlfriend.
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516. She was Charlotte Light And Dark.
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517. Not for real? The barking girl?
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518. - For real.
- Wow.
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519. - You want another?
- No. I'm good.
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520. So, we should do something.
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521. Like next Friday or Saturday.
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522. Do you have a really busy week?
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523. I don't know.
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524. Because when you say
next Friday or Saturday,
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525. that kind of sounds
like not until next Friday or Saturday.
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526. Have you been thinking the two of us are...
well, you know, exclusive?
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527. Cos I never really meant
to give that impression.
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528. - What do you mean?
- Well...
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529. That sometimes I see other women.
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530. And by "see" you mean fuck?
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531. However you wanna put it.
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532. Yeah, I mean I figured.
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533. Until you really get to know someone,
it seems the way to go.
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534. Yeah, of course.
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535. You see other guys, don't you?
You're always talking about Russell.
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536. Russell's gay.
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537. But I guess if I was to meet someone...
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538. Not that I'm looking to fuck around, but...
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539. I guess if I liked someone, whatever.
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540. Cool.
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541. Are you mad?
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542. Do you want me to go?
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543. No.
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544. Do you wanna go up to your room?
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545. Yeah. Let's go.
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546. Back in Texas,
we call ice cream frozen cow juice.
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547. Excuse me for a second.
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548. - Thank you.
- No, no. Thank you.
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549. Baby, I'm warning you. I'm in a bad mood.
I had a very bad day.
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550. I found out one of my favourite doctors
was arrested for selling steroids.
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551. Now there's a rumour
that AmeriMed's gonna close the hospital.
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552. - That's great.
- There's KFC in the microwave.
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553. Sorry, I just had to get you out
from under my feet for a while.
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554. but I brought my karate gear.
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555. Julio, could you please
turn that damn thing down?
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556. Andy won't beat me this time
because I've got the elements on my side.
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557. Elements of surprise.
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558. - Andy.
- I'm sandy, all right.
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559. I'm very sandy.
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560. I may be down but I'm not out.
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561. Way to go. It took us three days
to make that potato salad.
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562. There we go.
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563. - Are you going to the store tomorrow?
- I wasn't planning to.
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564. - What do you need?
- Baby wipes.
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565. And baby food, but you have to go
to Whole Foods for that.
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566. But at Rite Aid you can get her
a new sippy cup and nail clippers.
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567. You get them in the baby section.
The others are too big.
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568. Toilet paper,
light bulbs, the energy-efficient ones,
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569. and facial scrub for me,
you know, the peach kind.
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570. - You're gonna have to write everything down.
- It's on the refrigerator.
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571. All right.
I'll try to do it on my way home from work.
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572. You're going to try or you'll do it?
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573. - Because if you can't, then I'll do it.
- I'll do it.
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574. - Thank you.
- You're welcome.
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575. I had to make carrot soup
for Carol's stylist today
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576. and drive it out to her in Culver City.
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577. She's been sent to earth
with the sole purpose of torturing you.
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578. - It's true.
- I don't work for her and she drives me crazy.
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579. She wants me to make her rice pudding.
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580. I'll use whole milk. Gives her diarrhoea.
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581. We could call all our friends
and have them park in her driveway.
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582. We could take pictures of her swimming naked
and post them on the internet.
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583. God, I saw her once. She has the biggest bush
I have ever seen in my life.
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584. She really does.
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585. If I told you something,
would you promise not to laugh?
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586. No.
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587. This is the first time I have ever been
in a hammock. They always scared me.
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588. I always saw them in cartoons.
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589. People would get in them
and they'd spin around so fast
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590. and the people would go flying.
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591. Don't worry, you're safe.
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592. It's so peaceful out here.
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593. - I'm dying!
- Want some more wine?
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594. Sure. Why not?
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595. - I'm dying!
- Take a slug right out of the bottle.
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596. - Really?
- Go on.
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597. I feel like an old hobo.
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598. Maybe we should hop a freight train.
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599. We could head up to Frisco.
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600. Pick us up a couple of sailors.
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601. We're so bad.
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602. Yes, we are.
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603. www.Bsubs.com
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