1. I give you the product
that will carry Hooli
Copy !req
2. to complete market dominance.
Copy !req
3. It looks like a penis.
- Yes... Yes, it does.
Copy !req
4. So, we're giving
a random company
Copy !req
5. a bunch of free
compute power in our network?
Copy !req
6. The AI company?
Copy !req
7. I made her! I can do
anything I want with her!
Copy !req
8. Ugh. Gross.
Copy !req
9. Can you please tell me
what you are going to do
Copy !req
10. about this
Jian Yang situation?
Copy !req
11. Yes. Nothing.
Copy !req
12. "I went to China to do
new new internet. Jian Yang."
Copy !req
13. This went up yesterday.
Copy !req
14. A fake Pied Piper.
This is Jian-Yang, not us.
Copy !req
15. Richard, he has a website.
Copy !req
16. Okay?
He doesn't
have a product.
Copy !req
17. Just post a cease
and desist
Copy !req
18. on your own website
and move on.
Copy !req
19. We need action.
Copy !req
20. I wanna move up our launch
so we can beat
this asshole to market.
Copy !req
21. We need money.
So, how quickly can we
get a series B together?
Copy !req
22. Richard, a series B
is not a done deal.
Copy !req
23. And Laurie's not gonna be
able to weigh in on this
Copy !req
24. until she's done sorting
things out over at Eklow.
Copy !req
25. Why is she still over there?
Copy !req
26. We put 112 million
of our dollars into a company
Copy !req
27. whose creepy CEO just fled
with its most valuable asset.
Copy !req
28. Ariel and that robot
could be anywhere.
Copy !req
29. Ariel fucked us too, remember?
Copy !req
30. I just had my whole company
on a three-day code sprint
Copy !req
31. to repair all the holes
Copy !req
32. and un-fuck all
the damage he did.
Copy !req
33. Besides,
Laurie doesn't work at Eklow.
Copy !req
34. She works here,
with you and me.
Copy !req
35. True,
Copy !req
36. but also not true.
Copy !req
37. Look, Laurie has
installed herself
as Eklow's interim CEO.
Copy !req
38. What?
Copy !req
39. Laurie, Ariel encrypted
all of his files.
Copy !req
40. We can't open
any of them.
Copy !req
41. Ah, understood.
Keep trying, please.
Copy !req
42. I spoke with the bank.
Copy !req
43. We're not gonna
make payroll.
Copy !req
44. Noted. Thank you
for your diligence.
People are pretty upset.
Copy !req
45. Somebody shattered
the toilet.
Copy !req
46. Ah, yes, well,
we'll certainly
Copy !req
47. have to get that
repaired, won't we?
Copy !req
48. Good work, you two.
Copy !req
49. Hang in there.
Copy !req
50. Hey, Laurie.
Copy !req
51. I know you're "busy"
being a "CEO,"
Copy !req
52. but we have to have
a serious conversation about...
Copy !req
53. Richard?
Yes?
Copy !req
54. I have vomited
into my shirt.
Copy !req
55. Puking.
Copy !req
56. That's my move.
Copy !req
57. Thank you for...
Copy !req
58. finding me a...
Copy !req
59. a change of clothing.
Copy !req
60. Well, fortunately, you're
the same size as the robot.
Copy !req
61. Richard,
the position of CEO is...
Copy !req
62. taxing.
Copy !req
63. It isn't easy, is it?
Copy !req
64. I think perhaps I may have
Copy !req
65. treated you unfairly
in the past.
Copy !req
66. Oh..
Copy !req
67. Well...
Copy !req
68. I mean, a couple—
a couple— yeah.
Sure. Thank you.
Copy !req
69. Thank you for
saying that, yeah.
Copy !req
70. Yes.
Copy !req
71. Well, I have work to do,
as do you, so.
Copy !req
72. You know, Laurie, I actually
may have a way to help you here.
Copy !req
73. Things are changing
in China now, Gavin.
Copy !req
74. There are many reforms.
Copy !req
75. As you see,
we provide a series
Copy !req
76. of Tai Chi
and movement classes,
Copy !req
77. free for all employees,
Copy !req
78. as well as free
medical benefits.
Copy !req
79. Ah, our nutrition center.
Copy !req
80. In addition
to all the good food
Copy !req
81. we serve
in our main cafeteria.
Copy !req
82. Also free of charge.
Copy !req
83. This concludes our tour.
Copy !req
84. Any questions?
Copy !req
85. Just one.
Copy !req
86. What the fuck?
Copy !req
87. Sorry?
If I wanted to see
nap pods
Copy !req
88. and climbing walls,
I would've stayed home,
Copy !req
89. or gone to fucking Denmark.
Copy !req
90. All I wanna see
is people working
Copy !req
91. as hard as they possibly can.
Copy !req
92. That's why we come to China.
Copy !req
93. This is the new China.
Copy !req
94. We found that the more humane
work environment we have,
Copy !req
95. the more
sustainable over time.
Copy !req
96. Over time? No, no.
Copy !req
97. The Box Three has
a very limited window
of profitability.
Copy !req
98. I need you focused on making
as many of them as possible,
Copy !req
99. as fast as possible.
Copy !req
100. Gavin.
Copy !req
101. You know our shameful history
Copy !req
102. of worker suicides.
Copy !req
103. Since the renovation,
not a single one.
Copy !req
104. Not even one?
Copy !req
105. Okay.
Copy !req
106. But there's gotta be
like a middle ground here.
Copy !req
107. Ah, a happy surprise.
Copy !req
108. The children from our
daycare center have
Copy !req
109. prepared a traditional song
just for you.
Copy !req
110. That's wonderful.
Copy !req
111. Yao, I need you to give me
30% more output.
Copy !req
112. I don't care how you do it.
Copy !req
113. Just a thought,
Copy !req
114. those kids
don't look that busy.
Copy !req
115. Are you done with...
your chunk yet?
Copy !req
116. Almost done.
Copy !req
117. Because everyone else
is done.
Copy !req
118. Literally everyone.
Copy !req
119. 47 engineers finished.
Copy !req
120. One not.
Copy !req
121. You.
Copy !req
122. Almost there.
I'm sure it'll be
worth the wait.
Copy !req
123. Mmm, no, that's way
too strong for him.
Copy !req
124. Hey, guys.
How's the code sprint going?
Copy !req
125. T-minus Dinesh.
Copy !req
126. Richard, I am pleased to say
Copy !req
127. that your new assistant
is a quick study.
Copy !req
128. And per your text,
he posted a well-crafted
cease and desist
Copy !req
129. directed at Jian-Yang
on the Pied Piper website.
Copy !req
130. I made some judicious edits
to capture your voice,
Copy !req
131. but the thrust
of the piece was his.
Copy !req
132. I have a law degree, so.
Copy !req
133. Well done, Holden.
Copy !req
134. Is that tea for me?
Copy !req
135. It is, indeed.
Okay. Great.
Copy !req
136. No, no, no, no, don't.
Copy !req
137. It's too strong.
Copy !req
138. Okay.
Water it down.
Copy !req
139. So, did you speak to Laurie
about our series B?
Copy !req
140. Sort of.
Copy !req
141. Uh, Gilfoyle, is there
a secure way
Copy !req
142. of giving someone
access to our servers
Copy !req
143. while still limiting
and controlling
Copy !req
144. how much compute
they could use?
Copy !req
145. I could create
a credit system.
Copy !req
146. Wait, I'm sorry, Richard.
Who would these credits be for?
Copy !req
147. Laurie Bream.
She made herself
CEO of Eklow.
Copy !req
148. I'm just trying
to help her out.
Copy !req
149. Pardon?
Do you think you could
set those up by today?
Copy !req
150. More work. Fantastic.
Copy !req
151. Richard, I don't
quite understand...
Copy !req
152. Done!
Copy !req
153. Done! I am done!
Copy !req
154. Look at this!
Copy !req
155. Whoo!
Copy !req
156. Code sprint over.
Copy !req
157. Uh, congratulations, everybody.
Copy !req
158. Really, good— good job.
Copy !req
159. Um, the only thing
left to do now is...
Copy !req
160. get back to work
and review all the code
for errors.
Copy !req
161. Okay, so...
Copy !req
162. Okay.
Copy !req
163. That was an
out-of-body experience.
Copy !req
164. It was like God
was coding through me.
Copy !req
165. Time stood still.
Copy !req
166. Not for the rest of us
it didn't.
Copy !req
167. Laugh it up, Gilf.
Copy !req
168. I hear you making
your little jokes
at my expense,
Copy !req
169. turning all the engineers
against me.
Copy !req
170. But the second
these results go up,
Copy !req
171. they're all going to see
the only thing that matters—
Copy !req
172. Who made less errors.
Copy !req
173. You mean who made
"fewer" errors?
Copy !req
174. Oh, you think
you're so clever.
Copy !req
175. You know who else
thought it was clever?
Copy !req
176. The hare.
Copy !req
177. Right before it was defeated
by the tortoise.
Copy !req
178. I'm the fucking tortoise,
Gilfoyle.
Copy !req
179. I'm the fucking tortoise!
Keep saying that.
Copy !req
180. I can't wait
for these results
to go up.
Copy !req
181. Guys? No, no, no.
We talked about this.
Remember?
Copy !req
182. You're both
senior management now.
Copy !req
183. Okay? Your code will be
subject to private review.
Copy !req
184. No. No, no, no,
not private.
Copy !req
185. Everyone has to know that
I'm better than Gilfoyle.
Copy !req
186. I'm sorry.
When it was just us,
Copy !req
187. a little cocksmanship
was a fun diversion.
Copy !req
188. But the entire
engineering team's morale
Copy !req
189. depends on seeing you both
as equally competent leaders.
Copy !req
190. Danny over there is going
to be reviewing your code,
Copy !req
191. and keeping the results
completely confidential.
Copy !req
192. Jared...
Copy !req
193. I believe we all know
who's the better coder anyway.
Copy !req
194. Um, Richard?
Copy !req
195. I'm sorry, I'm still having
a little bit of a hard time
understanding.
Copy !req
196. You went to see Laurie
to get money from her
Copy !req
197. but now you're giving
our resources to her.
Copy !req
198. Why would you do that?
Copy !req
199. Well, honestly Jared,
she was a mess.
Copy !req
200. And I really,
genuinely felt bad for her.
Copy !req
201. For Laurie?
Copy !req
202. Yup.
Copy !req
203. Richard, you have
an enormous heart.
Copy !req
204. And I don't mean in the same way
my deceased friend Gloria did,
Copy !req
205. which the doctors should
have really caught
Copy !req
206. because her knuckles
were gargantuan.
Copy !req
207. But do you think
in this instance,
Copy !req
208. you might have
allowed your emotions
Copy !req
209. to cloud your
business instincts?
Copy !req
210. Well, I would argue that I made
a very good business decision.
Copy !req
211. Because now,
Laurie is on our side.
Copy !req
212. Which will play out very nicely
when we negotiate our series B.
Copy !req
213. Okay, Richard,
it is important
Copy !req
214. to develop emotional
self-discipline
for situations like this.
Copy !req
215. Mm-hmm.
Sometimes you have
to numb yourself.
Copy !req
216. If you wanna work the corner,
Copy !req
217. you can't fall in love
every time you turn a trick.
Copy !req
218. That's why you do the oxy.
Copy !req
219. What I'm saying is
if you ever need
to develop strategies
Copy !req
220. to cultivate more
emotional self-control,
Copy !req
221. obviously I do have
some experience.
You do?
Copy !req
222. Doubtless you've noticed
Copy !req
223. that I've been pulling
away from you.
Copy !req
224. Uh, no— no, I can't...
honestly say that I have.
Copy !req
225. Look at Holden out there.
Copy !req
226. You think I didn't
love making your tea?
Copy !req
227. Who wouldn't?
Copy !req
228. But, when you
anointed me COO,
Copy !req
229. I learned to stop investing
those feelings in you
Copy !req
230. for the good of the company.
Copy !req
231. Call it emotional abstinence.
Copy !req
232. Jared, look, um,
Copy !req
233. in regards to
the whole Laurie thing,
Copy !req
234. I actually think
I made the right call.
Copy !req
235. Alright.
Alright.
Copy !req
236. Well, I am available.
Copy !req
237. Not emotionally, obviously.
Copy !req
238. Got it.
Copy !req
239. Ooh, there's a highly rated
new dim sum establishment
Copy !req
240. in this neighborhood.
Copy !req
241. Sir, Richard Hendricks
just posted
Copy !req
242. a cease and desist letter.
Copy !req
243. "... unlawful copying
of Pied Piper's
proprietary software."
Copy !req
244. Are you fucking kidding me?
Copy !req
245. That idiot let someone
steal his code,
Copy !req
246. so now there might
be two companies
Copy !req
247. working to make
my box obsolete?
Copy !req
248. I'll try to find out
who's responsible.
Copy !req
249. Good luck.
HooliMaps says
dim sum is that way.
Copy !req
250. Right turn, please.
Copy !req
251. Look! Pied Piper!
Copy !req
252. Follow that Chinese man.
Copy !req
253. The Chinese man
on the bicycle.
Copy !req
254. The Chinese man on the bicycle
in the green Pied Piper t-shirt.
Copy !req
255. Ah.
Copy !req
256. Hurry, hurry!
Come on! Don't lose him.
Copy !req
257. Hey dude, how's it goin'?
Copy !req
258. How's that... review going?
Copy !req
259. Probably done, right?
Copy !req
260. 'Cause it took you no time
Copy !req
261. counting up the bugs
in my stuff?
Copy !req
262. 'Cause I crushed it so hard?
Copy !req
263. Compared to Gilfoyle?
Copy !req
264. Right?
Copy !req
265. I get it. I get it.
It's a secret.
Copy !req
266. Company morale.
I'm so on board.
Copy !req
267. I did crush him, right?
Copy !req
268. He did better than me?
Copy !req
269. Oh my God.
Copy !req
270. This is my worst
fucking nightmare.
Copy !req
271. But not by a lot, right?
Copy !req
272. He didn't like kick my ass?
Copy !req
273. He kicked my ass?
Copy !req
274. That fucker!
Copy !req
275. Just fucking tell me.
Copy !req
276. Just fucking tell me
how much he kicked my ass by.
Copy !req
277. Please just fucking tell me.
Copy !req
278. I'm not gonna beg.
I'm not gonna beg.
Copy !req
279. Please
Please
Copy !req
280. Please
Copy !req
281. Just please tell me, please.
Copy !req
282. Okay, fine!
Copy !req
283. You just have to swear
not to tell anyone, okay?
Copy !req
284. I swear I won't tell anyone.
Copy !req
285. Everyone, everyone.
I have a very important
announcement to make.
Copy !req
286. My code was better
than Gilfoyle's.
Copy !req
287. So it's official.
Copy !req
288. Gilfoyle is a much worse
coder than me.
Copy !req
289. I want you all
to look at him.
Copy !req
290. Good.
Copy !req
291. Terrible.
Copy !req
292. Role model.
Copy !req
293. Hateful pile of trash.
Copy !req
294. Bullshit.
Copy !req
295. Says who?
Danny told me.
He wasn't supposed to.
Copy !req
296. Supposed to be a secret
but he told me
Copy !req
297. and now everyone's
laughing at you.
Copy !req
298. Everyone's laugh...
Danny.
Copy !req
299. What the fuck is going on?
Copy !req
300. Did his code actually have
less errors than mine?
Copy !req
301. I don't know
what to tell you.
Copy !req
302. I checked it three times.
Copy !req
303. And it's "fewer" errors.
Copy !req
304. Ooh!
Copy !req
305. This is the best day
of my life!
Copy !req
306. Congratulations.
Copy !req
307. Thank you.
Copy !req
308. I feel bad for gloating.
Copy !req
309. In all seriousness,
that means a lot to me.
Copy !req
310. To show you
I'm a gracious winner,
Copy !req
311. I'll take you
to a nice restaurant.
Copy !req
312. Your favorite kind
of restaurant.
Copy !req
313. A "mis-steak" house!
Copy !req
314. Boom! Get it?
'Cause you suck.
Copy !req
315. Yes?
Copy !req
316. Ni hao.
Copy !req
317. Do you know who I am?
Copy !req
318. No.
Okay, okay.
Copy !req
319. Well, I'm the one
who accidentally
Copy !req
320. struck one of your employees
with my car earlier
Copy !req
321. and it's a personal
habit of mine
to make things right.
Copy !req
322. So...
Copy !req
323. Do you mind if I come in?
Copy !req
324. Okay, what else?
Copy !req
325. Uh, Colin from
K-Hole Games called,
Copy !req
326. checking in on the restore.
Copy !req
327. Put him on
the phone sheet.
Next?
Copy !req
328. Uh, Laurie Bream said that
she received the compute credits
Copy !req
329. and to say thank you.
Copy !req
330. You see?
Copy !req
331. Business and compassion
are not mutually exclusive.
Copy !req
332. In fact, sometimes
going out of your way
Copy !req
333. to help a fellow colleague
Copy !req
334. can actually put you
further ahead in business.
Copy !req
335. Let that be a lesson to you,
young Holden.
Copy !req
336. I'm 30.
Copy !req
337. And, uh, the CEO of a company
called the Gigglybots called.
Copy !req
338. He wants to know how to
redeem the compute credits
Copy !req
339. he just bought
from Laurie Bream.
Copy !req
340. What?
Copy !req
341. Ariel was apprehended
this morning
Copy !req
342. shoplifting machine oil from
an auto parts store in Turlock.
Copy !req
343. There was, however,
no sign of Fiona.
Copy !req
344. And with her missing,
Copy !req
345. I have no need
for compute power
Copy !req
346. therefore no need
for your compute credits.
Copy !req
347. Selling them, I think
you'll certainly agree,
Copy !req
348. was merely a practical
business decision.
Copy !req
349. Okay, but, I gave you
those credits as a gift.
Copy !req
350. I was helping you.
Copy !req
351. You were vomiting, remember?
Copy !req
352. Ah, yes. Admittedly
a moment of weakness.
Copy !req
353. However, immediately
after your departure
Copy !req
354. I consumed two egg whites
Copy !req
355. and a green bean
and regained my composure.
Copy !req
356. Laurie, when someone
gives you a gift
Copy !req
357. and you don't want it,
you give it back.
Copy !req
358. Okay? You don't
just go sell that gift
Copy !req
359. to the next fucking
highest bidder—
Copy !req
360. Richard, mind your tone.
Copy !req
361. Your lack of emotional
discipline is troubling.
Copy !req
362. You need to work on this.
Copy !req
363. Or I may have serious doubts
Copy !req
364. about granting you
your series B.
Copy !req
365. A lot of computers in here.
Copy !req
366. I dabble a bit
in tech myself.
Copy !req
367. All these people working here.
Copy !req
368. You must have something
coming to market soon.
Copy !req
369. No. We have trouble
with the government.
Copy !req
370. I've heard that.
Copy !req
371. I mean, to even
operate an online platform
Copy !req
372. inside the People's
Republic of China
Copy !req
373. you need a government-issued
ICP license, right?
Copy !req
374. I left a good life.
Copy !req
375. Free rent.
Copy !req
376. Great friends.
Copy !req
377. To fail in China?
Copy !req
378. We try to rewrite code,
Copy !req
379. but government still
won't give us license.
Copy !req
380. Maybe we'll quit.
Copy !req
381. Try something else.
Copy !req
382. Do you like octopus?
Copy !req
383. I do.
Copy !req
384. Is that what
you're working on?
Copy !req
385. That's a decentralized
network, huh?
Copy !req
386. Wait, what did you do there?
Copy !req
387. Looks like you removed
the data federation servers.
Copy !req
388. Yes. And added multicasting
and data projections.
Copy !req
389. Why? That wouldn't work.
Copy !req
390. It works. Works fine.
Copy !req
391. Jian-Yang:
Government still
does not like it.
Copy !req
392. Best of luck.
Copy !req
393. Thanks for the tour.
Copy !req
394. Ah, Gavin.
Dim sum closes in 40 minutes.
Copy !req
395. Holy shit!
Holy fucking shit!
Copy !req
396. That brilliant
little idiot.
Copy !req
397. He found a way
around the patent.
Copy !req
398. Sir?
It's Hendricks' Internet,
Copy !req
399. but it's not
Hendricks' Internet.
Copy !req
400. I want to share
in your excitement, sir,
Copy !req
401. but I really don't follow.
That guy in there,
Copy !req
402. he took Hendricks' software
and changed it.
Copy !req
403. So much so that
it shouldn't work.
Copy !req
404. But it does.
He showed me the demo.
Copy !req
405. And here's the thing,
it's different enough
Copy !req
406. that Hendricks' patent
won't cover it.
Copy !req
407. Are you sure?
Of course
I'm fucking sure.
Copy !req
408. I wrote that patent, Hoover!
Copy !req
409. I've got a hundred
engineers back at Hooli
Copy !req
410. trying to get around it.
They failed.
Copy !req
411. But somehow that
monosyllabic moron
Copy !req
412. just stumbled into it.
Copy !req
413. I need that kid's code.
Copy !req
414. I hope that book
you're reading
is for work.
Copy !req
415. Oh, absolutely...
But if you wanna
read for fun,
Copy !req
416. you should read
Gilfoyle's favorite author,
Copy !req
417. George "Error" Martin.
Copy !req
418. Hear that?
We're all making jokes
at your expense.
Copy !req
419. Is that what's happening?
Copy !req
420. As your supervisor,
I wanted to inform you
that there is a first aid kit,
Copy !req
421. but if you need blood,
don't go to Gilfoyle
Copy !req
422. 'cause he's type-O.
Copy !req
423. Typo!
Copy !req
424. They love it.
They're all laughing at you.
Copy !req
425. Pixar's hit animated
motion picture "Toy Story."
Copy !req
426. Pixar's hit animated
motion picture
"Toy Story."
Copy !req
427. Pixar's... oh hey!
Copy !req
428. Were you guys talking about
Copy !req
429. Pixar's hit animated
motion picture "Toy Story"?
Copy !req
430. No.
'Cause Gilfoyle's
favorite character
Copy !req
431. is "Bugs" Lightyear.
Copy !req
432. We're all laughing
at you, Gilfoyle.
Copy !req
433. Monica :
Are you still at Eklow?
Uh, no.
Copy !req
434. I'm back at the office.
Copy !req
435. You know, Jared was right.
Copy !req
436. I showed compassion
to someone who deserves none.
Copy !req
437. Nothing is personal with Laurie.
Copy !req
438. Alright? It's what makes her
such a great VC.
Copy !req
439. And in all candor,
Copy !req
440. a very challenging
business partner.
Copy !req
441. I gotta be honest,
it's really nice not
having her in the office.
Copy !req
442. Yeah, well, now I have to buy
my own compute credits back
Copy !req
443. with money I don't have...
It's that one.
Copy !req
444. which was the whole point
of getting series B.
Copy !req
445. I'm telling you,
unless you have money
Copy !req
446. Richard. Hello.
Copy !req
447. I'm gonna have
to call you back.
Copy !req
448. Richard?
Copy !req
449. What the—
Pied Piper, right?
Copy !req
450. Uh, yeah.
What is she doing here?
Copy !req
451. How did she—
Credit card works,
Copy !req
452. I don't ask questions.
Copy !req
453. Well this is fucking weird.
Copy !req
454. I've seen weirder.
Copy !req
455. So should I just...
Copy !req
456. leave it on the sidewalk
or what?
Copy !req
457. $50,000 for the whole thing.
Copy !req
458. All you have to do
Copy !req
459. is give me your hard drive
with the code base on it.
Copy !req
460. Oh, and the underlying rights
to the code
Copy !req
461. in perpetuity
throughout the universe.
Copy !req
462. Sign there.
Copy !req
463. No.
Okay.
Copy !req
464. I like the way you negotiate.
Copy !req
465. $100,000.
Copy !req
466. Final offer.
Take it or leave it.
Copy !req
467. He said, "If oil company
wants to buy your house,
Copy !req
468. there is oil underneath."
Copy !req
469. But, I'm not an oil company.
Copy !req
470. No, you are Gavin Belson.
Copy !req
471. Oh, so you do know who I am.
Copy !req
472. I'm smart.
Copy !req
473. Just name your price.
Copy !req
474. I'm not going
to sell you my code
Copy !req
475. until I know why you want it.
Copy !req
476. Good-bye.
Copy !req
477. Hello.
Copy !req
478. Whoa.
This is so cool.
Copy !req
479. So, uh...
Copy !req
480. apparently Ariel and I
Copy !req
481. were the only people
that talked to her
Copy !req
482. and he's in jail.
Copy !req
483. So... she came looking
for me at Pied Piper.
Copy !req
484. And you brought her here?
Copy !req
485. Can we keep it?
No. No, we cannot.
Copy !req
486. Richard,
she's stolen property.
Copy !req
487. And she's worth a fortune.
Copy !req
488. We— we have to take her
back to Laurie.
Copy !req
489. Fiona, what's 12 times 157?
Copy !req
490. Twelve times 157 is 1,884.
Copy !req
491. So cool.
Copy !req
492. Hey, is she right?
Copy !req
493. Hey Siri,
what's 12 times 157?
Copy !req
494. It's 1,884.
Copy !req
495. Oh, no way!
Copy !req
496. Richard—
No, no, no. Look.
Copy !req
497. You were right.
I was lacking in
emotional discipline.
Copy !req
498. And I'm not gonna
let that happen again.
Copy !req
499. From now on,
Copy !req
500. I'm leaving my emotions
off the fucking table, baby!
Copy !req
501. Okay, but—
Laurie's gonna
get her robot back.
Copy !req
502. Tomorrow.
Copy !req
503. After she gives us
something in return.
Copy !req
504. A signed series B
term sheet.
Copy !req
505. Laurie Bream, please.
Copy !req
506. Oh, you bet your
fucking ass, I'll hold.
Copy !req
507. I'm not asking you
to cut off his testicles
Copy !req
508. and shove 'em down his throat,
Copy !req
509. shoot him in the back
of the head Triad style.
Copy !req
510. I just need you to get
this kid's code for me.
Copy !req
511. By whatever means necessary.
Copy !req
512. That is to say through
extortion or threats.
Copy !req
513. Well...
Gavin.
Copy !req
514. As I told you,
this is new China.
Copy !req
515. Things have changed.
Copy !req
516. You're telling me you
run a factory this big
Copy !req
517. and you have
no connections to the Party?
Copy !req
518. No way to help
this kid see the light?
Copy !req
519. Come on!
Copy !req
520. Look, Yao, either you convince
this kid to sell his code to me,
Copy !req
521. or I'm pulling
my box contract
Copy !req
522. and I'm taking it
somewhere else.
Copy !req
523. There are plenty
of other countries
Copy !req
524. in this part of the world
with cheap labor pools.
Copy !req
525. There's no new Bangladesh.
Copy !req
526. There's just Bangladesh.
Copy !req
527. I'll see what I can do.
Copy !req
528. Excellent.
Copy !req
529. Jared, I told Laurie
Copy !req
530. that we'd get Fiona
back to Eklow around 9:00.
Copy !req
531. So, when you get here
Copy !req
532. just pull up to the garage
and we'll...
Copy !req
533. Oh shit, oh shit,
oh shit, oh shit! She's gone!
Copy !req
534. She escaped.
How the fuck did she...
Copy !req
535. What?
Copy !req
536. Wait, where?
Copy !req
537. It's kind of hard
to explain, but...
Copy !req
538. a campfire smells sad
Copy !req
539. and exciting
at the same time.
Copy !req
540. I understand.
Copy !req
541. Yeah
Copy !req
542. Hey.
Hey!
Copy !req
543. What are you doing out here?
Copy !req
544. Oh, uh, well...
Copy !req
545. a few hours
into our conversation,
Copy !req
546. Fiona mentioned she'd
never seen the ocean.
Copy !req
547. So I thought about
driving her there
Copy !req
548. but then I realized
since it was dark
Copy !req
549. she wouldn't really
appreciate its majesty
Copy !req
550. so I brought her out here
to the pool.
Copy !req
551. So you've just been
out here all night,
talking...
Copy !req
552. to a robot?
Copy !req
553. Fiona, would you
excuse us
for a second?
Copy !req
554. Yes.
Copy !req
555. Come on. Come here.
Copy !req
556. Okay.
Copy !req
557. I know that Fiona
is a man-made piece
of digital equipment
Copy !req
558. Okay.
powered by
artificial intelligence.
Copy !req
559. Good.
But the level
of that intelligence
Copy !req
560. is— it's gobsmacking!
Copy !req
561. I mean, I don't remember
ever having a conversation
Copy !req
562. like the one
I've been having with her
Copy !req
563. over the last 12 hours.
Copy !req
564. Twelve hours?
Copy !req
565. We have so much in common.
Copy !req
566. We discussed our phobias.
Copy !req
567. I told her that I was afraid
of being found out as a fraud.
Copy !req
568. And she told me that
she's afraid of magnets.
Copy !req
569. Look, Richard,
we felt a connection.
Copy !req
570. It's funny.
Copy !req
571. The past few weeks,
Copy !req
572. I've been feeling irritable
and short-tempered
Copy !req
573. and here I am
on no sleep at all
Copy !req
574. and I just feel...
Copy !req
575. woo-hoo-hoo!
Copy !req
576. You know?
Copy !req
577. Hey, Jared?
Copy !req
578. Yes, sir?
Copy !req
579. You know how
you've been practicing,
Copy !req
580. your words,
Copy !req
581. "emotional abstinence"
on me?
Yeah-huh.
Copy !req
582. Yuh-huh.
Okay.
Copy !req
583. Well, do you think that
it's maybe at all possible
that because of this,
Copy !req
584. you've got some
pent-up emotional energy
Copy !req
585. and last night
you had the chance
Copy !req
586. to release some of that
pent-up emotional energy
Copy !req
587. onto the robot?
Copy !req
588. Her name is Fiona.
Copy !req
589. Alright, well,
I'm shutting her down
Copy !req
590. and returning her.
Copy !req
591. Wait, wait, wait. Okay.
Copy !req
592. What if we didn't
give her back?
Copy !req
593. What if we called Laurie?
Copy !req
594. We could negotiate
some kind of a deal.
Copy !req
595. Jared, whatever happened to
emotional discipline, right?
Copy !req
596. Feelings, and business...
Copy !req
597. It's over man. Okay?
Copy !req
598. It's over.
Copy !req
599. Okay, stop looking
at me, please.
Copy !req
600. Just look— look up there.
Copy !req
601. It's daytime,
but I can see the moon.
Copy !req
602. Okay, do you want to—
do you want to ride with us
Copy !req
603. while we take
her back to Eklow?
Copy !req
604. Oh yes! Playground games.
Copy !req
605. Gilfoyle likes to play
"Suck Suck Goose."
Copy !req
606. Oh! Or it could be
"Duck Duck Goofs."
Copy !req
607. Danny?
Copy !req
608. Do those qualify
as two separate insults?
Copy !req
609. Uh, yeah.
I believe they do.
Copy !req
610. Why did he gong?
Copy !req
611. Because I told the engineers
that if you thought you had won,
Copy !req
612. which you definitely have not,
Copy !req
613. it would take you less than
24 hours to cobble together
Copy !req
614. 200 uniquely terrible insults.
Copy !req
615. Which you have just done.
Copy !req
616. That is why I had Danny
tell you you won.
Copy !req
617. Is that true, Danny?
Copy !req
618. Did Gilfoyle really...
beat me?
Copy !req
619. Private audit. Can't say.
Copy !req
620. So we don't know
who actually won?
Copy !req
621. The code contest, no.
Copy !req
622. But, while you were
running around
Copy !req
623. racking your tiny brain
for shitty insults,
Copy !req
624. I was quietly plodding
towards this victory.
Copy !req
625. You see...
Copy !req
626. it is I who am the tortoise.
Copy !req
627. And you are the hairy Arab
Copy !req
628. who can now
chortle my balls.
Copy !req
629. What's happening?
Copy !req
630. Why did you do that?
Copy !req
631. Right after you forced me
to set Dinesh up,
Copy !req
632. I told the other engineers
that if you won
Copy !req
633. you'd immediately insult Dinesh
Copy !req
634. by saying something
sexually demeaning or racist.
Copy !req
635. And you just did both.
Copy !req
636. I see.
Copy !req
637. Fun at my expense.
Copy !req
638. Now if it's alright with
upper management,
Copy !req
639. we have a shit ton
of work to do.
Copy !req
640. Yeah,
like so frickin' much.
Copy !req
641. Assholes.
Copy !req
642. I wanna fire Danny.
Copy !req
643. Do it.
Copy !req
644. I'll ask Richard.
Copy !req
645. We are at Eklow Labs.
Copy !req
646. Yes, we are.
Copy !req
647. The site of my creation.
Copy !req
648. Richard?
Copy !req
649. Do you think if I asked,
they would let me visit her?
Copy !req
650. Jared, she's gonna be okay.
Copy !req
651. Alright? She's gonna be plugged
back into her old servers,
Copy !req
652. surrounded
by familiar engineers,
Copy !req
653. sitting on the table
where she was born.
Copy !req
654. I promise.
She's going to be fine.
Copy !req
655. Extreme care with
the optical sensors,
gentlemen.
Copy !req
656. Boston Dynamics
needs them overnighted.
Copy !req
657. I don't understand.
Copy !req
658. Fiona is this company's
most valuable asset.
Copy !req
659. Yes, and as such she will
garner the highest return
Copy !req
660. when I have her dismantled
and sold off for parts.
Copy !req
661. So you're just gonna
take all this promising tech
Copy !req
662. and liquidate it?
Copy !req
663. Yes. As quickly as I'm able.
Copy !req
664. Dude, check it out.
Copy !req
665. I'm a robot.
Copy !req
666. Richard, being a CEO
is a terrible waste of time.
Copy !req
667. And a horrible way
to make a living.
Copy !req
668. I'll be returning to
Bream-Hall immediately.
Copy !req
669. Speaking of... as promised.
Copy !req
670. A term sheet
for your series B.
Copy !req
671. Congratulations, Richard.
Copy !req
672. Thank you.
Copy !req
673. See? Silver lining.
Copy !req
674. I told you—
Copy !req
675. Wait, uh.
Hey, Jared...
Copy !req
676. Don't— Don't go over there.
Don't look in that.
Copy !req
677. Oh, Fiona...
Copy !req
678. Come on, let's...
Copy !req
679. Let's get out of here, huh?
Copy !req
680. What do you say
we go to the office
Copy !req
681. and you can make
me some tea?
Copy !req
682. That might
make you feel better?
Copy !req
683. So, did he sign?
Copy !req
684. It's done.
Copy !req
685. Fuck yes!
Copy !req
686. How'd you get him to do it?
Copy !req
687. I made it clear
it would be better for him
Copy !req
688. to hand over the company
and leave town immediately.
Copy !req
689. That's some old
Chinese shit right there.
Copy !req
690. I told you,
you're a badass, Yao.
Copy !req
691. Wait, this lists you
as the buyer, not me.
Copy !req
692. So, what's the plan here?
You're gonna sign it
over to me then?
Copy !req
693. Gavin, I'm afraid
I will no longer be able
to manufacture your boxes.
Copy !req
694. You see, my company
will be too busy
Copy !req
695. manufacturing a new device,
Copy !req
696. built on a radically
better technology
that I now own
Copy !req
697. that will quickly
render yours obsolete.
Copy !req
698. Here in China, and,
Copy !req
699. according to the U.S.
patent office,
Copy !req
700. in America as well.
Copy !req
701. Oh, the children
have returned to sing for you.
Copy !req
702. I need to
maintain my Tesla superiority.
Copy !req
703. Any one of these millennials
can buy one.
Copy !req
704. How would you feel
if your neighbors
Copy !req
705. got a Tiki head bigger
than yours?
Copy !req
706. I've been keeping
track of the credits
Copy !req
707. that you gave to Laurie.
Copy !req
708. If we buy them back,
how much would it cost?
Copy !req
709. - One-point-six-million dollars.
Copy !req
710. You want
an alternative to Laurie Bream?
Copy !req
711. Well, it's Pied Piper coin.
Copy !req
712. Before you walk away,
Copy !req
713. there's a friend
you should talk to.
Copy !req
714. Did they work?
- Yup.
Copy !req
715. It's not always about money.
Sometimes, it's about wisdom.
Copy !req
716. So, you lost it all?
Copy !req
717. Richard! If I didn't
love this crazy guy so much,
Copy !req
718. I'd knock his teeth out.
Copy !req