1. Something's
wrong with your "frunk".Copy !req
2. It's all "frucked" up.Copy !req
3. I've instituted an operation
to safeguard our interests.Copy !req
4. Uh, Gavin Belson's office,
please.Copy !req
5. You wanted me
to unite the teams?Copy !req
6. They are united against me.Copy !req
7. If I'm not inspirational enough
for you, then there's the door.Copy !req
8. I'll approve you
as the soul beneficiaryCopy !req
9. and the official executor
of Mr. Bachman's estate.Copy !req
10. This is my incubator now.Copy !req
11. You can't just kick us out,
Jian-Yang.Copy !req
12. Wait a second.Copy !req
13. So, the guy who just
kicked me out of my houseCopy !req
14. now owns 10%
of my company?Copy !req
15. Technically, he kicked you
out of his house.Copy !req
16. And he inherited all
of Mr. Bachman's assetsCopy !req
17. including his 10%
of Pied Piper.Copy !req
18. - By faking his death.
- Allegedly!Copy !req
19. Look, Richie.Copy !req
20. You didn't actually
lose anything here, okay?Copy !req
21. Bachman is
the aggrieved party,Copy !req
22. and if he is actually
still alive,Copy !req
23. he'll get his 10% back
when he shows up.Copy !req
24. In the meantime,
is it really any worseCopy !req
25. if it belongs
to this Yang guy?Copy !req
26. No, I guess not.Copy !req
27. So what's your real beef
here then, huh, Richie?Copy !req
28. You got something
against him?Copy !req
29. You don't have, like,
a bias against Asians, do you?Copy !req
30. Richard?
No, I don't.Copy !req
31. No, I just don't like being
kicked out of my house.Copy !req
32. By a...?Copy !req
33. N-Nothing. By no one!Copy !req
34. By any race!Copy !req
35. Yeah, I'm hearing
something different.Copy !req
36. You'd tell me
if you harboredCopy !req
37. - nativist feelings, wouldn't you?
- Yes.Copy !req
38. Dana?Copy !req
39. Oh, hey.Copy !req
40. Hey!Copy !req
41. Dana, this is
Richard Hendricks.Copy !req
42. He's the CEO
of Pied Piper.Copy !req
43. And, Richard,Copy !req
44. - this is Dana, CEO of Quiver.
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
45. Yeah, I hear you guys are giving
Akami a run for their money.Copy !req
46. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
47. Dana and I kept
finding ourselvesCopy !req
48. on the same bathroom
schedule back at Hooli.Copy !req
49. You know, men
and their cycles.Copy !req
50. You know what?Copy !req
51. You guys should
get a meal together.Copy !req
52. Right? You're...
You're kindred spirits.Copy !req
53. You're both CEOs.
You have a lot in common.Copy !req
54. Sure, yeah. Maybe. Yep.Copy !req
55. Well, Richard, you're free
tomorrow night.Copy !req
56. But I'm not.Copy !req
57. I have a big party
at my house.Copy !req
58. A lot of people
I don't know.Copy !req
59. So, see ya!Copy !req
60. What was that?Copy !req
61. I don't need you
to make friends for me.Copy !req
62. Oh, I just think
you could benefitCopy !req
63. from a friendship
with someone like Dana,Copy !req
64. who's so much like yourself.Copy !req
65. Like me?
You think that guy's like me?Copy !req
66. I just thought of something.Copy !req
67. Do you guys want
to come to my party?Copy !req
68. Dana, that's
so gracious of you.Copy !req
69. That would be delightful.Copy !req
70. Okay, bye.Copy !req
71. Mm-kay.Copy !req
72. You don't see it?Copy !req
73. It's uncanny.Copy !req
74. Episode Title : "Chief Operating Officer"Copy !req
75. Look at this.
This is what they're askingCopy !req
76. for a one-bedroom
apartment in Menlo Park.Copy !req
77. Oh.Copy !req
78. What?Copy !req
79. Well, I can
comfortably affordCopy !req
80. my new one-bedroom apartment.Copy !req
81. You and I make
the same amount of money.Copy !req
82. I'm just wondering,
what is the difference?Copy !req
83. Could it be that
I didn't spend all my moneyCopy !req
84. on an absurdly
over-priced electric car?Copy !req
85. Gilfoyle!Copy !req
86. So kind of you to join us.Copy !req
87. You're welcome.Copy !req
88. Yeah! Uh, well,
it's, uh, 2:00 PM.Copy !req
89. So, fourth day in a row
you missed the stand-up meeting.Copy !req
90. Correct.Copy !req
91. Maybe you should
hold it later.Copy !req
92. Okay, 'cause we
literally moved itCopy !req
93. from 9:00 to 11:00
to accommodate you.Copy !req
94. So do you mind telling us when you
feel like you can make it in?Copy !req
95. Sure. Whenever
you hold the meeting,Copy !req
96. - I'll be in an hour after that.
- Okay, well...Copy !req
97. What the fuck was that?Copy !req
98. Uh, that's the song
"You Suffer" by Napalm Death.Copy !req
99. Oh, yeah? That's... that's a whole song?
That's like a second.Copy !req
100. It's an alert.Copy !req
101. Whenever the price of Bitcoin
dips below a certain value,Copy !req
102. it's no longer
efficient to mine.Copy !req
103. When it comes back up,
it is.Copy !req
104. So, I need to know
when it breaks that threshold,Copy !req
105. so that I can remotely
toggle my rig at home.Copy !req
106. Okay. Any idea how often
that might happen?Copy !req
107. Bitcoin is very volatile.Copy !req
108. So...Copy !req
109. That's just so loud.Copy !req
110. A lot. Good. Alright, well...Copy !req
111. maybe turn it down
or something?Copy !req
112. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
113. What's up? You guys working hard
or hardly working?Copy !req
114. 'Sup?Copy !req
115. Hey, buds.
How's it going?Copy !req
116. Man, these
Bay Area rents, huh?Copy !req
117. High AF.Copy !req
118. How's a guy supposed
to live by himself,Copy !req
119. or lady, by herself?Copy !req
120. Especially on an everyman
coder's salary, you feel me?Copy !req
121. Are you offering us a cost
of living raise? Nope!Copy !req
122. Not at all. Even better.Copy !req
123. If one of you dudes
is strapped for cash,Copy !req
124. do you a solid.Copy !req
125. Move in, split the rent
"fiddy-fiddy."Copy !req
126. Or, 40/ "siddy" depending on
square footage of bedrooms.Copy !req
127. Come on! Think about it!Copy !req
128. Jazzy Jeff!Copy !req
129. Hold up!Copy !req
130. Hey, uh, you got space
in your crib?Copy !req
131. Um...Copy !req
132. Yes, I-I have a room.Copy !req
133. Hmm?Copy !req
134. Fuck. Yeah.Copy !req
135. Fuck yeah!Copy !req
136. There he is!Copy !req
137. Nice place.Copy !req
138. Yeah.Copy !req
139. That's what a billion-dollar
evaluation will get you.Copy !req
140. Hey, what a great topic of
conversation for you and Dana.Copy !req
141. - Dana!
- Oh, hey.Copy !req
142. You're just standing there.
Like a cool cowboy.Copy !req
143. Hey, yeah.Copy !req
144. I-I really
like your place.Copy !req
145. Yeah, me too.Copy !req
146. Well, he liked it,
so he bought it.Copy !req
147. Right? Just like you
and that hoodie.Copy !req
148. So, Dana,
interesting story.Copy !req
149. Uh, the reason Richard has
this bandage on his neck,Copy !req
150. and that he's got
one on his hand,Copy !req
151. is because he got so exhausted
during a code sprint,Copy !req
152. that he walked through
a plate-glass window.Copy !req
153. Now, I-I read on Pando
that you got injured alsoCopy !req
154. early on at your company?Copy !req
155. You should
tell Richard that story.Copy !req
156. Right? Interesting topic
between CEOs.Copy !req
157. If you want.
I mean, you don't have to.Copy !req
158. Alright, I'm gonna
go mingle.Copy !req
159. Go get 'em.Copy !req
160. So, how did you
hurt yourself?Copy !req
161. I tried to commit suicide.Copy !req
162. Cool. Not...
You know, interesting.Copy !req
163. Oh, wow! You cashed
another beer, you partier.Copy !req
164. I haven't cut loose
in so long.Copy !req
165. I'll probably get sloshed
off of one beer,Copy !req
166. and start babbling.Copy !req
167. That's, um...Copy !req
168. Let's have a beer, right?
Let's celebrate!Copy !req
169. New job!
New roomies!Copy !req
170. New internet, right?Copy !req
171. I said I'd get sloshed
off of one beer, crazy man.Copy !req
172. Okay, um...Copy !req
173. I'm gonna go to bed.
Good night.Copy !req
174. No, no, no!
You know what? Hold on!Copy !req
175. I'll have...
I'll have one beer!Copy !req
176. I'm not saying I don't
like to party, Jeff.Copy !req
177. You like vodka?
Let's have a vodka.Copy !req
178. Yeah! Let's do vodka.Copy !req
179. Okay!Copy !req
180. Yeah.Copy !req
181. That's so much of it.Copy !req
182. That's a normal amount
right there.Copy !req
183. Is it?Copy !req
184. I like it.Copy !req
185. It's really cool.Copy !req
186. So, who painted it?Copy !req
187. A machine.Copy !req
188. It's actually the first
work of artCopy !req
189. made by AI to be sold
at Sotheby's.Copy !req
190. Sorry I'm late, Dana.
I got caught up.Copy !req
191. Hey! Hey, wait a minute, you're...
you're Richard Hendricks.Copy !req
192. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
193. Sorry, I'm, uh,
Ben Burkhardt.Copy !req
194. I'm... I'm Dana's COO.Copy !req
195. Dana told me he invited you.
I'm so psyched you came!Copy !req
196. Yeah. I got... I have so many
questions for you, man.Copy !req
197. Do you want to grab a drink
or do you want to stay here?Copy !req
198. - There. Yeah.
- Oh, great.Copy !req
199. I mean, even way back when
I was finishing my PhD at MIT,Copy !req
200. I would tell anyone
that would listenCopy !req
201. that a decentralized system
was the obvious eventuality.Copy !req
202. Yep. And now it's more
necessary than ever.Copy !req
203. I mean, the stuff Google and
Facebook are getting away with.Copy !req
204. It's insane. Totally.
Right?Copy !req
205. That's why I've always said
that the user's dataCopy !req
206. should be in the hands
of consumers,Copy !req
207. not the corporations.Copy !req
208. 100%, but see,
that can't happen,Copy !req
209. until someone iterates
a functional alternative.Copy !req
210. Which, I believe, Richard,Copy !req
211. I believe you're about to do.Copy !req
212. Well, I don't know.
Trying to, yeah.Copy !req
213. Have you solved, uh, co-locating
data with the compute test?Copy !req
214. How do you know about that?Copy !req
215. Do you code?
I used to, man.Copy !req
216. Uh, yeah, I loved it so much,Copy !req
217. but, you know, I got drawn
over to the business side.Copy !req
218. Richard!Copy !req
219. There you are!Copy !req
220. Hey. Jared Dunn.
Hi! Ben Burkhardt.Copy !req
221. Hey, Dana.
So, it's 9:00 AM in Dubai.Copy !req
222. I gotta make a call,
so, excuse me, guys.Copy !req
223. Oh.Copy !req
224. So, um, Dana
was just telling meCopy !req
225. that he prefers
a late lunch, too.Copy !req
226. Just like...Copy !req
227. Is that right?Copy !req
228. Kind of.Copy !req
229. Well, I see a colleague.Copy !req
230. I'll leave you guys
to... to chat.Copy !req
231. Cool. Mm...Copy !req
232. So, on the way out,
Dana told meCopy !req
233. that he really loved
meeting you.Copy !req
234. He said it went great!Copy !req
235. Did you not think so?Copy !req
236. Yeah, it's just...
he didn't really talk, though.Copy !req
237. Yeah.
That's one of his quirks.Copy !req
238. He's fun.Copy !req
239. Hey, you know who I did
have a good conversation with?Copy !req
240. - Who?
- His COO.Copy !req
241. Who, Ben?Copy !req
242. Yeah, um, do you know him?Copy !req
243. Um, not well.Copy !req
244. I hear he's a very
competent executive.Copy !req
245. But apparently,
he left Oculus for QuiverCopy !req
246. in kind of an
unprofessional manner.Copy !req
247. Hmm, okay. Well, he
really loves Pied Piper.Copy !req
248. Jared, come on!
This is your condo.Copy !req
249. Sleep in your bed.Copy !req
250. Don't be silly. Hey!Copy !req
251. Uh, leave the lights on
as long as you want.Copy !req
252. Uh, hey, Jared?Copy !req
253. Yes?
Um...Copy !req
254. Never mind.
Uh, see you tomorrow morning.Copy !req
255. Sweet dreams.
Right, if only.Copy !req
256. Did I tell you about
Gilfoyle's terrible song?Copy !req
257. Yes. Yes, you did.
And I heard it.Copy !req
258. I'm... I'm gonna go clean
the rice cooker, Dinesh.Copy !req
259. You know what
the worst part is?Copy !req
260. He's actually a decent coder.Copy !req
261. He almost never fucks up.Copy !req
262. Uh, wait, almost?Copy !req
263. One time,
he royally fucked up,Copy !req
264. but even then,
he ended up saving the dayCopy !req
265. with all his fridges.Copy !req
266. Fridges?Copy !req
267. Seppen Smart Fridges!Copy !req
268. And you know what?Copy !req
269. It was totally illegal.Copy !req
270. Really? Illegal?Copy !req
271. So, tell me about these fridges.
Jeff!Copy !req
272. I can't tell you that.Copy !req
273. It's a company secret.Copy !req
274. Okay, um, let me get you
some more vodka, Dinesh.Copy !req
275. Thank you guys for
seeing me on such short notice.Copy !req
276. Well, it's an honor
to have you, Gavin.Copy !req
277. Back there, we test our
compressor run capacitors.Copy !req
278. But here is what I'm sure you'll
be most interested in seeing.Copy !req
279. This is our smart fridge
development team.Copy !req
280. To be honest,
we were a little nervousCopy !req
281. about wading into the
Internet-enabled market.Copy !req
282. Over the last 80 years,Copy !req
283. we've built a real trust
with our customers.Copy !req
284. Alright! Great tour!Copy !req
285. Oh, there's a lot more to see.Copy !req
286. Ugh. Why? Look.Copy !req
287. I came here to offer you
a partnershipCopy !req
288. to cut down your server bills.Copy !req
289. Oh!Copy !req
290. Well, our server costs
were far higherCopy !req
291. than we anticipated.Copy !req
292. As we said,
we're not well versed in...Copy !req
293. The 20th century?
Yeah, you mentioned that.Copy !req
294. Do you want to save
a fortune or not?Copy !req
295. Well, yes.Copy !req
296. In exchange, I need you
to do something for meCopy !req
297. with regard to the people
who hacked your refrigerators.Copy !req
298. I'm going to destroy
their lives.Copy !req
299. So, what? So...Copy !req
300. - So, I turned to Bill Gates...
- Yeah?Copy !req
301. Right, and I said...Copy !req
302. "I don't know, Bill.
Maybe you should Google it."Copy !req
303. You said that to Bill Gates?Copy !req
304. I did! I swear.Copy !req
305. Hey...Copy !req
306. can I ask you, um...Copy !req
307. Did you tell Dana
that we were having lunch?Copy !req
308. Richard, I told you that Bill
Gates story for a reason.Copy !req
309. I, um, I practice something
called "radical candor."Copy !req
310. Which is no matter how
uncomfortable the truth is,Copy !req
311. I'm gonna tell it to you.Copy !req
312. And the honest truth is...Copy !req
313. I did not tell Dana
about this lunch.Copy !req
314. Things with Dana
have gotten stagnant.Copy !req
315. But the other night...Copy !req
316. talking to you, Richard, I...Copy !req
317. I felt that spark again.Copy !req
318. - What are you saying?
- Okay, well.Copy !req
319. The first tenet
of rad-can, Richard,Copy !req
320. is to just... is to just
say what you think,Copy !req
321. and so I'm gonna do that.
I'm gonna say what I think,Copy !req
322. and, Richard, I think
we should work together.Copy !req
323. Oh. You mean, like...?Copy !req
324. Like, I could be your COO.Copy !req
325. Um...Copy !req
326. I don't know.Copy !req
327. Maybe we shouldn't
be doing this.Copy !req
328. Whoa, whoa, Richard.Copy !req
329. We're just talking.Copy !req
330. You see any numbers
written down here?Copy !req
331. Do you see a Power Point?Copy !req
332. No, we don't even
have a laptop.Copy !req
333. Exactly! 'Cause we're not doing
anything wrong. Oh, shit!Copy !req
334. - Party of one.
- Sh... Shit.Copy !req
335. I looked at his calendar
and it said he had a meeting.Copy !req
336. Okay, Richard, I'm gonna
continue being honest with youCopy !req
337. and tell you that I have to
leave now through the kitchen.Copy !req
338. - Okay.
- Okay, please don't tell anyoneCopy !req
339. - about this.
- Okay.Copy !req
340. What? Hey!Copy !req
341. Hey, Dana! What the heck?
Dana, right?Copy !req
342. Oh, hi.Copy !req
343. I'm just... Are you
having lunch alone?Copy !req
344. I am!
I'm totally alone.Copy !req
345. Uh, in fact...Copy !req
346. do you want to, uh,Copy !req
347. join me at my table for one?Copy !req
348. Oh, okay.Copy !req
349. Sure.Copy !req
350. Come on over.Copy !req
351. One beef pot pie. One
beef pot pie, no carrots.Copy !req
352. Yep. Here.Copy !req
353. Put 'em here.Copy !req
354. I love beef pot pie.Copy !req
355. And only kind of
like carrots.Copy !req
356. Oh, fuck!Copy !req
357. Gilfoyle, goddammit.Copy !req
358. Could you please stop that fucking noise?
I'm serious.Copy !req
359. How will I know
when to remote toggle my rig?Copy !req
360. Easy, you won't,
and neither will any of us,Copy !req
361. because you won't
remote toggle anything!Copy !req
362. No more remote toggling!
Got it?Copy !req
363. - Just...
- Hey.Copy !req
364. Hey! How was lunch,
you little minx?Copy !req
365. What?Copy !req
366. Yeah, you thought
I wouldn't find out.Copy !req
367. I was, uh, texting with Dana.Copy !req
368. Just checking in.
And he mentionedCopy !req
369. - that you two met up.
- Oh, yeah!Copy !req
370. Yeah! Just, just
briefly for... yeah.Copy !req
371. Yeah! I-I-I knew you two
would hit it off.Copy !req
372. You know, Dana did mentionCopy !req
373. that he thought
you might be bulimic.Copy !req
374. Okay.Copy !req
375. Great, um...Copy !req
376. Jared, do you think
it's time we hire a COO?Copy !req
377. Oh!Copy !req
378. Did Dana suggest
we hire someone like Ben?Copy !req
379. Yeah. Yeah, like Ben.Copy !req
380. You see, if you didn't
have lunch with Dana,Copy !req
381. this never would've come up.Copy !req
382. I'll put together a list.Copy !req
383. Great.Copy !req
384. Um...Copy !req
385. Richard, you should see this.Copy !req
386. What the fuck?Copy !req
387. Seppen is suing us
for $10 million in damages.Copy !req
388. The complaint
specifically cites,Copy !req
389. "sullying their smart fridges
with mime-simulated fellatio."Copy !req
390. "Our customers invite us
into their homes.Copy !req
391. "The kitchen is
the modern hearth.Copy !req
392. We cannot have that trust
violated." Is that a typo?Copy !req
393. Do they mean "heart"?Copy !req
394. How did Seppen
find out it was us?Copy !req
395. I don't know.Copy !req
396. You tell us, Gilfoyle.Copy !req
397. You said you pulled
all our code and bleached it.Copy !req
398. Maybe you missed something.Copy !req
399. No.Copy !req
400. No way.Copy !req
401. They have no proof it was us.
Ignore them.Copy !req
402. Ignore them? What the fuck
kind of solution is that?Copy !req
403. No. "Hearth."
It's a word. Huh!Copy !req
404. We don't need to solve anything.
They have nothing.Copy !req
405. Well, I'm pretty sure
they have something, Gilfoyle.Copy !req
406. So you fucked up somewhere!
I didn't fuck up.Copy !req
407. Well, guys, I'm sure there's
something we can do here.Copy !req
408. Uh, just give me a second.Copy !req
409. Hey, sorry!
I-I can't talk right now.Copy !req
410. Can we meet up?Copy !req
411. Um, my place. Midnight.Copy !req
412. Okay, I gotta go.Copy !req
413. Okay.Copy !req
414. Okay, so wait.Copy !req
415. You're telling me
this Gilfoyle guyCopy !req
416. first hacked into the fridges
as a prank?Copy !req
417. Without your knowledge?Copy !req
418. Uh, yeah.Copy !req
419. Well, there you go, Richard!Copy !req
420. If you didn't authorize it, then
he's acting as a rogue agent.Copy !req
421. You tell Seppen that
and Pied Piper's off scot-free.Copy !req
422. Yeah, but what would
happen to Gilfoyle?Copy !req
423. I don't know. There'd be
criminal and civil chargesCopy !req
424. he'd have to deal
with on his own.Copy !req
425. Oh, Jesus!Copy !req
426. I don't know.
Sounds kinda brutal.Copy !req
427. In the end, being on
those fridges saved us.Copy !req
428. Richard, I-I told you
about radical candor, yeah?Copy !req
429. Well, what I'm getting
from you now,Copy !req
430. is the opposite of that.Copy !req
431. It's actually something
we call "ruinous empathy."Copy !req
432. You want to destroy
your entire companyCopy !req
433. just to keep one
bad actor happy?Copy !req
434. That's not fair
to you, Richard!Copy !req
435. Oh, come on. Gilfoyle
will never be happy.Copy !req
436. This is exactly
the kinda thingCopy !req
437. I could help you with
if you hired me.Copy !req
438. Hey, any news?Copy !req
439. Oh, goddammit. Why is that thing
still fucking doing that?Copy !req
440. I guess Gilfoyle
forgot to turn it off.Copy !req
441. It's been doing
that all morning.Copy !req
442. I don't have his password.Copy !req
443. Bitcoin is really
volatile today.Copy !req
444. Yeah, okay.
Uh, where is he?Copy !req
445. Well, it's 10:00 AM,
so not here.Copy !req
446. Okay, you know what?
Fuck Gilfoyle.Copy !req
447. Fuck him right to hell.Copy !req
448. I've been saying that
for years.Copy !req
449. Where's Jared?Copy !req
450. Richard, are you serious?Copy !req
451. Yes.Copy !req
452. Well, I concede that laying
it all at Gilfoyle's feetCopy !req
453. might get us out
of the Seppen lawsuit, but...Copy !req
454. I mean, you'd really throw
him to the wolves like that?Copy !req
455. That doesn't sound like you.Copy !req
456. Well, maybe
I'm just becomingCopy !req
457. a little less
ruinously empathetic.Copy !req
458. Have you been
seeing a therapist?Copy !req
459. No.Copy !req
460. But...Copy !req
461. I have been seeing Ben.Copy !req
462. Ben Burkhardt.Copy !req
463. Oh, Richard, no.Copy !req
464. He's Dana's COO. You're...Copy !req
465. You're jeopardizing your
entire friendship with Dana.Copy !req
466. What friendship with Dana?Copy !req
467. Who could be friends
with that guy?Copy !req
468. I got news for you, Jared.Copy !req
469. Dana sucks, man!Copy !req
470. Richard!Copy !req
471. I mean, he is a dog.Copy !req
472. How did he even found
his own company?Copy !req
473. Is he even smart?Copy !req
474. Okay, that's unfair.Copy !req
475. Look, this is your company.Copy !req
476. And you can work with
whomever you want.Copy !req
477. But I need you
to think long and hardCopy !req
478. about what you're
proposing to do to Gilfoyle.Copy !req
479. We're talking about
criminal charges here.Copy !req
480. He could be deported.Copy !req
481. There has to be
another option.Copy !req
482. Well, no offense, Jared,Copy !req
483. but Ben says there isn't.Copy !req
484. Okay? And he is
a world-class COOCopy !req
485. that has brought multiple
companies to a billion dollars.Copy !req
486. And you're just
a biz dev guy.Copy !req
487. I'm... I'm sorry. I...Copy !req
488. I just think that
in this particular situation,Copy !req
489. Ben might know
a little better.Copy !req
490. Okay.Copy !req
491. You're the boss.Copy !req
492. You know,
but I will say this.Copy !req
493. If you're really going
to start working with Ben,Copy !req
494. at least give Dana
the common courtesyCopy !req
495. of telling him the truth
about what you guys are doing.Copy !req
496. Because if you
don't tell him...Copy !req
497. you're the dog.Copy !req
498. Thanks for, uh,
having me over.Copy !req
499. Of course. So, it's gonna
be a bit weird at first.Copy !req
500. Then it's gonna be okay.Copy !req
501. What?Copy !req
502. Hi, this is Jared Dunn.Copy !req
503. Um, sorry, I don't
recognize this number.Copy !req
504. Jared? Come here now.Copy !req
505. Jian-Yang?Copy !req
506. So... Ben told me everything.Copy !req
507. Oh!Copy !req
508. Uh...Copy !req
509. Well...Copy !req
510. Radical candor,
I guess, right?Copy !req
511. Yeah, he told me how
you kept texting him non-stop.Copy !req
512. And he kept refusing,
but you were relentless.Copy !req
513. What?Copy !req
514. - Uh, no!
- Richard, it's... It's immaterial.Copy !req
515. The point is,
Dana knows everything now.Copy !req
516. However it came to that,
it's just words in the winds.Copy !req
517. "Words in the winds"?Copy !req
518. Yeah.Copy !req
519. Well, Richard, looks like
you got what you wanted.Copy !req
520. You're both adults.Copy !req
521. You can work together
if you want.Copy !req
522. I just wish you'd demonstrated
the measure of spiritCopy !req
523. to discuss this
with me to my face.Copy !req
524. But...Copy !req
525. guess there's no honor
among thieves, hmm?Copy !req
526. Well...Copy !req
527. good luck, gentlemen.Copy !req
528. You deserve each other.Copy !req
529. Dana.Copy !req
530. Wow.Copy !req
531. You know, I've never
really seen him like that.Copy !req
532. He's so assertive.Copy !req
533. Uh, articulate.Copy !req
534. Yeah, he's had a head cold
the last couple weeks.Copy !req
535. Been pretty low energy.Copy !req
536. Really?Copy !req
537. Yep!Copy !req
538. Oh!
So, I guess...Copy !req
539. You and me, huh, Richard?Copy !req
540. Together, at last.Copy !req
541. Yeah.Copy !req
542. Dana rides a motorcycle?Copy !req
543. Yep.Copy !req
544. Cool.Copy !req
545. So, uh, what
exactly did you...Copy !req
546. The witch lost his mind.Copy !req
547. Gilfoyle, you smoke?Copy !req
548. I kept mulling
that Seppen shit.Copy !req
549. I didn't leave a bit
of my code on that fridge.Copy !req
550. No remnants, nothing,
so how do they know?Copy !req
551. Then I realized...Copy !req
552. they're listening to us.Copy !req
553. They've been listening to us
this whole fucking time.Copy !req
554. Right.
All these devicesCopy !req
555. are listening to us!Copy !req
556. Okay, um...Copy !req
557. Gilfoyle, I-I think
you need some rest.Copy !req
558. Not yet.Copy !req
559. I checked their firmware
and their logs.Copy !req
560. The fridge is set
to record constantlyCopy !req
561. streaming everything
back to the cloud.Copy !req
562. They must have gone
through those audio logs,Copy !req
563. and listened
to our conversations.Copy !req
564. Wait, even if they
aren't listening to us,Copy !req
565. just the fact that
they could be is interesting.Copy !req
566. Shit.Copy !req
567. They make smoke detectors.Copy !req
568. I think there's one
in the kitchen.Copy !req
569. Those fuckers are listening.Copy !req
570. Jian-Yang, are...
Are you copyingCopy !req
571. all those companies for the
Chinese markets?Copy !req
572. Oh, no.Copy !req
573. Fuck you, Seppen.Copy !req
574. Hey! Where have you been?Copy !req
575. Um, I stayed at
Big Head's last night.Copy !req
576. Yeah. Oh, God, I've been
calling all night.Copy !req
577. Yeah. I just didn't feel like
getting reprimanded.Copy !req
578. I-I thought maybe
you were lockedCopy !req
579. in another Starbucks
bathroom overnight.Copy !req
580. One time, Jared.
One time.Copy !req
581. Okay, you're just gonna have
to catch up on the fly, then.Copy !req
582. On the fly, what?Copy !req
583. Richard Hendricks,Copy !req
584. - this is Tom and Viola from Seppen.
- How do you do?Copy !req
585. Oh, hi.
Alright, uh,Copy !req
586. we won't take up
any more of your time.Copy !req
587. Richard has called you
in today, because...Copy !req
588. of this.Copy !req
589. Um, this is Seppen's Smart
Fridge Terms of Service,Copy !req
590. where you specifically stateCopy !req
591. that only refrigerator
command-related user dataCopy !req
592. will be uploaded
to your cloud's service.Copy !req
593. That's correct.Copy !req
594. We believe that the refrigerator
is the hearth of the modern...Copy !req
595. Stop talking.Copy !req
596. We know your refrigerators
are streamingCopy !req
597. all recorded audio
to the cloud.Copy !req
598. Every single conversation.Copy !req
599. Which is tantamount
to illegal wiretapping.Copy !req
600. You thought a mime
performing fellatio was bad?Copy !req
601. What happens when
your customers find outCopy !req
602. that every single thing
they've ever saidCopy !req
603. in front of their "hearth"
has been recorded?Copy !req
604. Oh, shit.Copy !req
605. We never listen
to any recordings.Copy !req
606. Look, we never wanted to get into
this tech stuff in the first place,Copy !req
607. but our marketing
department insisted.Copy !req
608. Between us...Copy !req
609. Gavin Belson was the one
that pushed us to sue you.Copy !req
610. Is there something
we can do here?Copy !req
611. This is a deal memoCopy !req
612. stating that Pied Piper
will fix your security issue,Copy !req
613. and update your systemCopy !req
614. to Pied Piper's stack
in the futureCopy !req
615. which will lower
your server costsCopy !req
616. and improve the security
of your fridges.Copy !req
617. In exchange,
you drop the suit.Copy !req
618. Uh, Richard?Copy !req
619. Did I state that correctly?
Is that our offer?Copy !req
620. Uh-huh. Yep.Copy !req
621. I'd also like to tell you
I have a Seppen bread machine,Copy !req
622. and I have never been
happier with an appliance.Copy !req
623. - Pleasure.
- Thank you so much.Copy !req
624. Hey.Copy !req
625. I'm so sorry if
I overstepped my bounds.Copy !req
626. It's just time
was of the essence.Copy !req
627. - Are you kidding me?
- Jared, you saved us.Copy !req
628. And you did it without
having to fuck Gilfoyle over.Copy !req
629. - Thanks!
- Yeah, um...Copy !req
630. We should talk about
what they said about Gavin.Copy !req
631. Hello, Pied Piper!Copy !req
632. Nice gender mix.Copy !req
633. Could use a little
more color.Copy !req
634. Baby steps, right?
Where do you want me?Copy !req
635. - What are you doing here?
- What are you talking about?Copy !req
636. Well, I-I said I'd call you.Copy !req
637. I didn't say I was hiring you.Copy !req
638. Richard...Copy !req
639. I-I left Dana for you.Copy !req
640. I know. Ha!Copy !req
641. I'm aware.Copy !req
642. But...Copy !req
643. let me try a little
radical candor.Copy !req
644. Um, cheating on your CEOCopy !req
645. and then blaming it all on meCopy !req
646. is not really the kind of
behavior I like to reward.Copy !req
647. Nor is pushing me
to put my friend in jail.Copy !req
648. - Okay.
- You want candor, Richard?Copy !req
649. You are objectively
making a huge mistake.Copy !req
650. I'm a world-class COO, okay?Copy !req
651. And your heavy metal friend?Copy !req
652. I mean, he's obviously a dick.Copy !req
653. And you know...
You know what else, Richard?Copy !req
654. You're 20 to 30 pounds
underweight.Copy !req
655. It's gross.Copy !req
656. Who was that?
He seemed smart!Copy !req
657. Hey, Richard?Copy !req
658. I'm at least
45 pounds underweight.Copy !req
659. Okay, and don't
worry about him.Copy !req
660. We're gonna find you
a much better COO.Copy !req
661. I think we already have.Copy !req
662. You want the job?Copy !req
663. Jared, uh...Copy !req
664. Alright, okay.Copy !req
665. - I'm okay.
- I know, just take it...Copy !req
666. Everyone can see you.Copy !req
667. - Oh my God.
- Yeah, let's have a seat.Copy !req
668. - Just think about it.
- I'm okay!Copy !req
669. Yeah, let's...Copy !req
670. Do you want some water?
Just breathe, just breathe.Copy !req
671. Seppen said that Gavin was
pushing them to sue us, right?Copy !req
672. Uh, yeah, but that
shouldn't be a surprise.Copy !req
673. But Seppen had no idea
that we broke in.Copy !req
674. How the fuck did Gavin know?Copy !req
675. Right!Copy !req
676. W-W-What? Are you
suggesting that...Copy !req
677. someone in here is leaking
info to Gavin Belson?Copy !req
678. I am.Copy !req
679. We have a mole on our hands.Copy !req
680. What the fuck is going on
over there?Copy !req
681. Um, yeah, bad news.Copy !req
682. Seppen just left, and... and it
looks like they're gonna settle.Copy !req
683. Hey! Dude.Copy !req
684. We have a mole!Copy !req
685. You remember K-Hole
James...Copy !req
686. - Of course!
- K-Hole isCopy !req
687. euphoric about speaking to you
regarding a deal.Copy !req
688. That would put us months ahead.Copy !req
689. Whatever
you are doing, stop it now.Copy !req
690. This is not a done deal.Copy !req
691. Any word from our mole
at Pied Piper?Copy !req
692. We found the mole.Copy !req
693. How did the mole
get all this information?Copy !req
694. By exploiting
our most glaring weakness.Copy !req