1. Something's
wrong with your "frunk".Copy !req
2. It's all "frucked" up.Copy !req
3. I've instituted an operation
to safeguard our interests.Copy !req
4. Uh, Gavin Belson's office,
please.Copy !req
5. You wanted me
to unite the teams?Copy !req
6. They are united against me.Copy !req
7. If I'm not inspirational enough
for you, then there's the door.Copy !req
8. as the soul beneficiaryCopy !req
9. and the official executor
of Mr. Bachman's estate.Copy !req
10. This is my incubator now.Copy !req
11. You can't just kick us out,
Jian-Yang.Copy !req
12. Wait a second.Copy !req
13. So, the guy who just
kicked me out of my houseCopy !req
14. now owns 10%
of my company?Copy !req
15. Technically, he kicked you
out of his house.Copy !req
16. And he inherited all
of Mr. Bachman's assetsCopy !req
17. including his 10%
of Pied Piper.Copy !req
18. By faking his death.
Allegedly!Copy !req
19. Look, Richie.Copy !req
20. You didn't actually
lose anything here, okay?Copy !req
21. Bachman is
the aggrieved party,Copy !req
22. and if he is actually
still alive,Copy !req
23. he'll get his 10% back
when he shows up.Copy !req
24. In the meantime,
is it really any worseCopy !req
25. if it belongs
to this Yang guy?Copy !req
26. No, I guess not.Copy !req
27. So what's your real beef
here then, huh, Richie?Copy !req
28. You got something
against him?Copy !req
29. You don't have, like, a bias
against Asians, do you?Copy !req
30. Richard?
No, I don't.Copy !req
31. No, I just don't like being
kicked out of my house.Copy !req
32. By a...?Copy !req
33. N-Nothing. By no one!Copy !req
34. By any race!Copy !req
35. Yeah, I'm hearing
something different.Copy !req
36. You'd tell me
if you harboredCopy !req
37. nativist feelings,
wouldn't you?
Yes.Copy !req
38. Dana?Copy !req
39. Oh, hey.Copy !req
40. Hey!Copy !req
41. Dana, this is
Richard Hendricks.Copy !req
42. He's the CEO
of Pied Piper.Copy !req
43. And, Richard,Copy !req
44. this is Dana,
CEO of Quiver.
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
45. Yeah, I hear you guys
are giving Akami
a run for their money.Copy !req
46. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
47. Dana and I kept
finding ourselvesCopy !req
48. on the same bathroom
schedule back at Hooli.Copy !req
49. You know, men
and their cycles.Copy !req
50. You know what?Copy !req
51. You guys should
get a meal together.Copy !req
52. Right? You're—
you're kindred spirits.Copy !req
53. You're both CEOs.
You have a lot in common.Copy !req
54. Sure, yeah. Maybe. Yep.Copy !req
55. Well, Richard, you're free
tomorrow night.Copy !req
56. But I'm not.Copy !req
57. I have a big party
at my house.Copy !req
58. A lot of people
I don't know.Copy !req
59. So, see ya!Copy !req
60. What was that?Copy !req
61. I don't need you
to make friends for me.Copy !req
62. Oh, I just think
you could benefitCopy !req
63. from a friendship
with someone like Dana,Copy !req
64. who's so much like yourself.Copy !req
65. Like me?
You think that guy's like me?Copy !req
66. I just thought of something.Copy !req
67. Do you guys want
to come to my party?Copy !req
68. Dana, that's
so gracious of you.Copy !req
69. That would be delightful.Copy !req
70. Okay, bye.Copy !req
71. Mm-kay.Copy !req
72. You don't see it?Copy !req
73. It's uncanny.Copy !req
74. Look at this.
This is what they're askingCopy !req
75. for a one-bedroom
apartment in Menlo Park.Copy !req
76. Oh.Copy !req
77. What?Copy !req
78. Well, I can
comfortably affordCopy !req
79. my new one-bedroom apartment.Copy !req
80. You and I make
the same amount of money.Copy !req
81. I'm just wondering,
what is the difference?Copy !req
82. Could it be that
I didn't spend all my moneyCopy !req
83. on an absurdly
overCopy !req
84. Gilfoyle!Copy !req
85. So kind of you to join us.Copy !req
86. You're welcome.Copy !req
87. Yeah! Uh, well,
it's, uh, 2:00 PM.Copy !req
88. So, fourth day in a row
you missed the stand-up meeting.Copy !req
89. Correct.Copy !req
90. Maybe you should
hold it later.Copy !req
91. Okay, 'cause we
literally moved itCopy !req
92. from 9:00 to 11:00
to accommodate you.Copy !req
93. So do you mind telling us
when you feel like
you can make it in?Copy !req
94. Sure. Whenever
you hold the meeting,Copy !req
95. I'll be in an hour after that.
Okay, well—Copy !req
96. What the fuck was that?Copy !req
97. Uh, that's the song
"You Suffer" by Napalm Death.Copy !req
98. Oh, yeah? That's—
that's a whole song?
That's like a second.Copy !req
99. It's an alert.Copy !req
100. Whenever the price of Bitcoin
dips below a certain value,Copy !req
101. it's no longer
efficient to mine.Copy !req
102. When it comes back up,
it is.Copy !req
103. So, I need to know
when it breaks that threshold,Copy !req
104. so that I can remotely
toggle my rig at home.Copy !req
105. Okay. Any idea how often
that might happen?Copy !req
106. Bitcoin is very volatile.Copy !req
107. So...Copy !req
108. That's just so loud.Copy !req
109. A lot.
Good.
Alright, well...Copy !req
110. maybe turn it down
or something?Copy !req
111. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
112. What's up?
You guys working hard
or hardly working?Copy !req
113. 'Sup?Copy !req
114. Hey, buds.
How's it going?Copy !req
115. Man, these
Bay Area rents, huh?Copy !req
116. High AF.Copy !req
117. How's a guy supposed
to live by himself,Copy !req
118. or lady, by herself?Copy !req
119. Especially on an everyman
coder's salary, you feel me?Copy !req
120. Are you offering us
a cost of living raise?
Nope!Copy !req
121. Not at all. Even better.Copy !req
122. If one of you dudes
is strapped for cash,Copy !req
123. do you a solid.Copy !req
124. Move in, split the rent
"fiddy-fiddy."Copy !req
125. Or, 40/"siddy" depending on
square footage of bedrooms.Copy !req
126. Come on! Think about it!Copy !req
127. Jazzy Jeff!Copy !req
128. Hold up!Copy !req
129. Hey, uh, you got space
in your crib?Copy !req
130. Um...Copy !req
131. Yes, I-I have a room.Copy !req
132. Hmm?Copy !req
133. Fuck. Yeah.Copy !req
134. Fuck yeah!Copy !req
135. There he is!Copy !req
136. Nice place.Copy !req
137. Yeah.Copy !req
138. That's what a billion-dollar
evaluation will get you.Copy !req
139. Hey, what a great
topic of conversation
for you and Dana.Copy !req
140. Dana!
Oh, hey.Copy !req
141. You're just standing there.
Like a cool cowboy.Copy !req
142. Hey, yeah.Copy !req
143. I-I really
like your place.Copy !req
144. Yeah, me too.Copy !req
145. Well, he liked it,
so he bought it.Copy !req
146. Right? Just like you
and that hoodie.Copy !req
147. So, Dana,
interesting story.Copy !req
148. Uh, the reason Richard has
this bandage on his neck,Copy !req
149. and that he's got
one on his hand,Copy !req
150. is because he got so exhausted
during a code sprint,Copy !req
151. that he walked through
a plate-glass window.Copy !req
152. Now, I-I read on Pando
that you got injured alsoCopy !req
153. early on at your company?Copy !req
154. You should
tell Richard that story.Copy !req
155. Right? Interesting topic
between CEOs.Copy !req
156. If you want.
I mean, you don't have to.Copy !req
157. Alright, I'm gonna
go mingle.Copy !req
158. Go get 'em.Copy !req
159. So, how did you
hurt yourself?Copy !req
160. I tried to commit suicide.Copy !req
161. Cool. Not—
you know, interesting.Copy !req
162. Oh, wow! You cashed
another beer, you partier.Copy !req
163. I haven't cut loose
in so long.Copy !req
164. I'll probably get sloshed
off of one beer,Copy !req
165. and start babbling.Copy !req
166. That's, um...Copy !req
167. Let's have a beer, right?
Let's celebrate!Copy !req
168. New job!
New roomies!Copy !req
169. New internet, right?Copy !req
170. I said I'd get sloshed
off of one beer, crazy man.Copy !req
171. Okay, um...Copy !req
172. I'm gonna go to bed.
Good night.Copy !req
173. No, no, no!
You know what? Hold on!Copy !req
174. I'll have...
I'll have one beer!Copy !req
175. I'm not saying
I don't like
to party, Jeff.Copy !req
176. You like vodka?
Let's have a vodka.Copy !req
177. Yeah! Let's do vodka.Copy !req
178. Okay!Copy !req
179. Yeah.Copy !req
180. That's so much of it.Copy !req
181. That's a normal amount
right there.Copy !req
182. Is it?Copy !req
183. I like it.Copy !req
184. It's really cool.Copy !req
185. So, who painted it?Copy !req
186. A machine.Copy !req
187. It's actually the first
work of artCopy !req
188. made by AI to be sold
at Sotheby's.Copy !req
189. Sorry I'm late, Dana.
I got caught up.Copy !req
190. Hey! Hey,
wait a minute, you're—
you're Richard Hendricks.Copy !req
191. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
192. Sorry, I'm, uh,
Ben Burkhardt.Copy !req
193. I'm— I'm Dana's COO.Copy !req
194. Dana told me he invited you.
I'm so psyched you came!Copy !req
195. Yeah.
I got— I have so many
questions for you, man.Copy !req
196. Do you want to grab a drink
or do you want to stay here?Copy !req
197. There. Yeah.
Oh, great.Copy !req
198. I mean, even way back when
I was finishing my PhD at MIT,Copy !req
199. I would tell anyone
that would listenCopy !req
200. that a decentralized system
was the obvious eventuality.Copy !req
201. Yep.
And now it's more necessary
than ever.Copy !req
202. I mean, the stuff
Google and Facebook
are getting away with.Copy !req
203. It's insane. Totally.
Right?Copy !req
204. That's why I've always said
that the user's dataCopy !req
205. should be in the hands
of consumers,Copy !req
206. not the corporations.Copy !req
207. 100%, but see,
that can't happen,Copy !req
208. until someone iterates
a functional alternative.Copy !req
209. Which, I believe, Richard,Copy !req
210. I believe you're about to do.Copy !req
211. Well, I don't know.
Trying to, yeah.Copy !req
212. Have you solved, uh,
co-locating data
with the compute test?Copy !req
213. How do you know about that?Copy !req
214. Do you code?
I used to, man.Copy !req
215. Uh, yeah, I loved it so much,Copy !req
216. but, you know, I got drawn
over to the business side.Copy !req
217. Richard!Copy !req
218. There you are!Copy !req
219. Hey. Jared Dunn.
Hi! Ben Burkhardt.Copy !req
220. Hey, Dana.
So, it's 9:00 AM in Dubai.Copy !req
221. I gotta make a call,
so, excuse me, guys.Copy !req
222. Oh.Copy !req
223. So, um, Dana
was just telling meCopy !req
224. that he prefers
a late lunch, too.Copy !req
225. Just like...Copy !req
226. Is that right?Copy !req
227. Kind of.Copy !req
228. Well, I see a colleague.Copy !req
229. I'll leave you guys
to— to chat.Copy !req
230. Cool. Mm—Copy !req
231. So, on the way out,
Dana told meCopy !req
232. that he really loved
meeting you.Copy !req
233. He said it went great!Copy !req
234. Did you not think so?Copy !req
235. Yeah, it's just...
he didn't really talk, though.Copy !req
236. Yeah.
That's one of his quirks.Copy !req
237. He's fun.Copy !req
238. Hey, you know who I did
have a good conversation with?Copy !req
239. Who?
His COO.Copy !req
240. Who, Ben?Copy !req
241. Yeah, um, do you know him?Copy !req
242. Um, not well.Copy !req
243. I hear he's a very
competent executive.Copy !req
244. But apparently,
he left Oculus for QuiverCopy !req
245. in kind of an
unprofessional manner.Copy !req
246. Hmm, okay.
Well, he really loves
Pied Piper.Copy !req
247. Jared, come on!
This is your condo.Copy !req
248. Sleep in your bed.Copy !req
249. Don't be silly. Hey!Copy !req
250. Uh, leave the lights on
as long as you want.Copy !req
251. Uh, hey, Jared?Copy !req
252. Yes?
Um...Copy !req
253. Never mind.
Uh, see you tomorrow morning.Copy !req
254. Sweet dreams.
Right, if only.Copy !req
255. Did I tell you about
Gilfoyle's terrible song?Copy !req
256. Yes. Yes, you did.
And I heard it.Copy !req
257. I'm— I'm gonna go clean
the rice cooker, Dinesh.Copy !req
258. You know what
the worst part is?Copy !req
259. He's actually a decent coder.Copy !req
260. He almost never fucks up.Copy !req
261. Uh, wait, almost?Copy !req
262. One time,
he royally fucked up,Copy !req
263. but even then,
he ended up saving the dayCopy !req
264. with all his fridges.Copy !req
265. Fridges?Copy !req
266. Seppen Smart Fridges!Copy !req
267. And you know what?Copy !req
268. It was totally illegal.Copy !req
269. ReallyCopy !req
270. So, tell me about
these fridges.
Jeff!Copy !req
271. I can't tell you that.Copy !req
272. It's a company secret.Copy !req
273. Okay, um, let me get you
some more vodka, Dinesh.Copy !req
274. Thank you guys for seeing me
on such short notice.Copy !req
275. Well, it's an honor
to have you, Gavin.Copy !req
276. Back there, we test our
compressor run capacitors.Copy !req
277. But here is what I'm sure
you'll be most interested
in seeing.Copy !req
278. This is our smart fridge
development team.Copy !req
279. To be honest,
we were a little nervousCopy !req
280. about wading into the
Internet-enabled market.Copy !req
281. Over the last 80 years,Copy !req
282. we've built a real trust
with our customers.Copy !req
283. Alright! Great tour!Copy !req
284. Oh, there's a lot more to see.Copy !req
285. Ugh. Why? Look.Copy !req
286. I came here to offer you
a partnershipCopy !req
287. to cut down your server bills.Copy !req
288. Oh!Copy !req
289. Well, our server costs
were far higherCopy !req
290. than we anticipated.Copy !req
291. As we said,
we're not well versed in—Copy !req
292. The 20th century?
Yeah, you mentioned that.Copy !req
293. Do you want to save
a fortune or not?Copy !req
294. Well, yes.Copy !req
295. In exchange, I need you
to do something for meCopy !req
296. with regard to the people
who hacked your refrigerators.Copy !req
297. I'm going to destroy
their lives.Copy !req
298. So, what?
So...Copy !req
299. So, I turned
to Bill Gates...
Yeah?Copy !req
300. Right, and I said...Copy !req
301. "I don't know, Bill.
Maybe you should Google it."Copy !req
302. You said that to Bill Gates?Copy !req
303. I did! I swear.Copy !req
304. Hey...Copy !req
305. can I ask you, um...Copy !req
306. Did you tell Dana
that we were having lunch?Copy !req
307. Richard, I told you
that Bill Gates story
for a reason.Copy !req
308. I, um, I practice something
called "radical candor."Copy !req
309. Which is no matter how
uncomfortable the truth is,Copy !req
310. I'm gonna tell it to you.Copy !req
311. And the honest truth is...Copy !req
312. I did not tell Dana
about this lunch.Copy !req
313. Things with Dana
have gotten stagnant.Copy !req
314. But the other night...Copy !req
315. talking to you, Richard, I—Copy !req
316. I felt that spark again.Copy !req
317. What are you saying?
Okay, well.Copy !req
318. The first tenet
of rad-can, Richard,Copy !req
319. is to just— is to just
say what you think,Copy !req
320. and so I'm gonna do that.
I'm gonna say what I think,Copy !req
321. and, Richard, I think
we should work together.Copy !req
322. Oh. You mean, like...?Copy !req
323. Like, I could be your COO.Copy !req
324. Um...Copy !req
325. I don't know.Copy !req
326. Maybe we shouldn't
be doing this.Copy !req
327. Whoa, whoa, Richard.Copy !req
328. We're just talking.Copy !req
329. You see any numbers
written down here?Copy !req
330. Do you see a Power Point?Copy !req
331. No, we don't even
have a laptop.Copy !req
332. Exactly! 'Cause we're
not doing anything wrong.
Oh, shit!Copy !req
333. Party of one.
Ben :
Shit.Copy !req
334. I looked at his calendar
and it said he had a meeting.Copy !req
335. Okay, Richard,
I'm gonna continue
being honest with youCopy !req
336. and tell you that
I have to leave now
through the kitchen.Copy !req
337. Okay.
Okay, please don't tell
anyone about this.Copy !req
338. Okay.Copy !req
339. What? Hey!Copy !req
340. Hey, Dana! What the heck?
Dana, right?Copy !req
341. Oh, hi.Copy !req
342. I'm just— Are you
having lunch alone?Copy !req
343. I am!
I'm totally alone.Copy !req
344. Uh, in fact...Copy !req
345. do you want to, uh,Copy !req
346. join me at my table for one?Copy !req
347. Oh, okay.Copy !req
348. Sure.Copy !req
349. Come on over.Copy !req
350. One beef pot pie.
One beef pot pie,
no carrots.Copy !req
351. Yep. Here.Copy !req
352. Put 'em here.Copy !req
353. I love beef pot pie.Copy !req
354. And only kind of
like carrots.Copy !req
355. Oh, fuck!Copy !req
356. Gilfoyle, goddammit.Copy !req
357. Could you please stop
that fucking noise?
I'm serious.Copy !req
358. How will I know when
to remote toggle my rig?Copy !req
359. Easy, you won't,
and neither will any of us,Copy !req
360. because you won't
remote toggle anything!Copy !req
361. No more remote toggling!
Got it?Copy !req
362. Just...
Hey.Copy !req
363. Hey!
How was lunch,
you little minx?Copy !req
364. What?Copy !req
365. Yeah, you thought
I wouldn't find out.Copy !req
366. I was, uh, texting with Dana.Copy !req
367. Just checking in.
And he mentionedCopy !req
368. that you two met up.
Oh, yeah!Copy !req
369. Yeah! Just, just
briefly for— yeah.Copy !req
370. Yeah! I-I-I knew you two
would hit it off.Copy !req
371. You know, Dana did mentionCopy !req
372. that he thought
you might be bulimic.Copy !req
373. Okay.Copy !req
374. Great, um...Copy !req
375. Jared, do you think
it's time we hire a COO?Copy !req
376. Oh!Copy !req
377. Did Dana suggest
we hire someone like Ben?Copy !req
378. Yeah. Yeah, like Ben.Copy !req
379. You see, if you didn't
have lunch with Dana,Copy !req
380. this never would've come up.Copy !req
381. I'll put together a list.Copy !req
382. Great.Copy !req
383. Um...Copy !req
384. Richard, you should see this.Copy !req
385. What the fuck?Copy !req
386. Seppen is suing us
for $10 million in damages.Copy !req
387. The complaint
specifically cites,Copy !req
388. "sullying their smart fridges
with mime-simulated fellatio."Copy !req
389. "Our customers invite us
into their homes.Copy !req
390. "The kitchen is
the modern hearth.Copy !req
391. We cannot have
that trust violated."
Is that a typo?Copy !req
392. Do they mean "heart"?Copy !req
393. How did Seppen
find out it was us?Copy !req
394. I don't know.Copy !req
395. You tell us, Gilfoyle.Copy !req
396. You said you pulled
all our code and bleached it.Copy !req
397. Maybe you missed something.Copy !req
398. No.Copy !req
399. No way.Copy !req
400. They have no proof it was us.
Ignore them.Copy !req
401. Ignore them?
What the fuck kind of
solution is that?Copy !req
402. No. "Hearth."
It's a word. Huh!Copy !req
403. We don't need
to solve anything.
They have nothing.Copy !req
404. Well, I'm pretty sure
they have something, Gilfoyle.Copy !req
405. So you fucked up
somewhere!
I didn't fuck up.Copy !req
406. Well, guys, I'm sure there's
something we can do here.Copy !req
407. Uh, just give me a second.Copy !req
408. Hey, sorry!
I-I can't talk right now.Copy !req
409. Can we meet up?Copy !req
410. Um, my place. Midnight.Copy !req
411. Ben :
Okay, I gotta go.Copy !req
412. Okay.Copy !req
413. Okay, so wait.Copy !req
414. You're telling me
this Gilfoyle guyCopy !req
415. first hacked into the fridges
as a prank?Copy !req
416. Without your knowledge?Copy !req
417. Uh, yeah.Copy !req
418. Well, there you go, Richard!Copy !req
419. If you didn't authorize it,Copy !req
420. then he's acting
as a rogue agent.Copy !req
421. You tell Seppen that
and Pied Piper's off scot-free.Copy !req
422. Yeah, but what would
happen to Gilfoyle?Copy !req
423. I don't know.
There'd be criminal
and civil chargesCopy !req
424. he'd have to deal
with on his own.Copy !req
425. Oh, Jesus!Copy !req
426. I don't know.
Sounds kinda brutal.Copy !req
427. In the end,
being on those
fridges saved us.Copy !req
428. Richard, I-I told you
about radical candor, yeah?Copy !req
429. Well, what I'm getting
from you now,Copy !req
430. is the opposite of that.Copy !req
431. It's actually something
we call "ruinous empathy."Copy !req
432. You want to destroy
your entire companyCopy !req
433. just to keep one
bad actor happy?Copy !req
434. That's not fair
to you, Richard!Copy !req
435. Oh, come on.
Gilfoyle will
never be happy.Copy !req
436. This is exactly
the kinda thingCopy !req
437. I could help you with
if you hired me.Copy !req
438. Hey, any news?Copy !req
439. Oh, goddammit.
Why is that thing
still fucking doing that?Copy !req
440. I guess Gilfoyle
forgot to turn it off.Copy !req
441. It's been doing
that all morning.Copy !req
442. I don't have his password.Copy !req
443. Bitcoin is really
volatile today.Copy !req
444. Yeah, okay.
Uh, where is he?Copy !req
445. Well, it's 10:00 AM,
so not here.Copy !req
446. Okay, you know what?
Fuck Gilfoyle.Copy !req
447. Fuck him right to hell.Copy !req
448. I've been saying that
for years.Copy !req
449. Where's Jared?Copy !req
450. Richard, are you serious?Copy !req
451. Yes.Copy !req
452. Well, I concede
that laying it all
at Gilfoyle's feetCopy !req
453. might get us out
of the Seppen lawsuit, but...Copy !req
454. I mean, you'd really
throw him to the wolves
like that?Copy !req
455. That doesn't sound like you.Copy !req
456. Well, maybe
I'm just becomingCopy !req
457. a little less
ruinously empathetic.Copy !req
458. Have you been
seeing a therapist?Copy !req
459. No.Copy !req
460. But...Copy !req
461. I have been seeing Ben.Copy !req
462. Ben Burkhardt.Copy !req
463. Oh, Richard, no.Copy !req
464. He's Dana's COO. You're—Copy !req
465. You're jeopardizing
your entire friendship
with Dana.Copy !req
466. What friendship with Dana?Copy !req
467. Who could be friends
with that guy?Copy !req
468. I got news for you, Jared.Copy !req
469. Dana sucks, man!Copy !req
470. Richard!Copy !req
471. I mean, he is a dog.Copy !req
472. How did he even found
his own company?Copy !req
473. Is he even smart?Copy !req
474. Okay, that's unfair.Copy !req
475. Look, this is your company.Copy !req
476. And you can work with
whomever you want.Copy !req
477. But I need you
to think long and hardCopy !req
478. about what you're
proposing to do to Gilfoyle.Copy !req
479. We're talking about
criminal charges here.Copy !req
480. He could be deported.Copy !req
481. There has to be
another option.Copy !req
482. Well, no offense, Jared,Copy !req
483. but Ben says there isn't.Copy !req
484. Okay? And he is
a world-class COOCopy !req
485. that has brought
multiple companies
to a billion dollars.Copy !req
486. And you're just
a biz dev guy.Copy !req
487. I'm— I'm sorry. I—Copy !req
488. I just think that
in this particular situation,Copy !req
489. Ben might know
a little better.Copy !req
490. Okay.Copy !req
491. You're the boss.Copy !req
492. You know,
but I will say this.Copy !req
493. If you're really going
to start working with Ben,Copy !req
494. at least give Dana
the common courtesyCopy !req
495. of telling him the truth
about what you guys are doing.Copy !req
496. Because if you
don't tell him...Copy !req
497. you're the dog.Copy !req
498. Thanks for, uh,
having me over.Copy !req
499. Of course.
So, it's gonna be
a bit weird at first.Copy !req
500. Then it's gonna be okay.Copy !req
501. What?Copy !req
502. Hi, this is Jared Dunn.Copy !req
503. Um, sorry, I don't
recognize this number.Copy !req
504. Jared? Come here now.Copy !req
505. JianCopy !req
506. So... Ben told me everything.Copy !req
507. Oh!Copy !req
508. Uh...Copy !req
509. Well...Copy !req
510. Radical candor,
I guess, right?Copy !req
511. Yeah, he told me how
you kept texting him non-stop.Copy !req
512. And he kept refusing,
but you were relentless.Copy !req
513. What? Uh, no!Copy !req
514. Richard, it's—
it's immaterial.Copy !req
515. The point is,
Dana knows everything now.Copy !req
516. However it came to that,
it's just words in the winds.Copy !req
517. "Words in the winds"?Copy !req
518. Yeah.Copy !req
519. Well, Richard,
looks like you got
what you wanted.Copy !req
520. You're both adults.Copy !req
521. You can work together
if you want.Copy !req
522. I just wish you'd demonstrated
the measure of spiritCopy !req
523. to discuss this
with me to my face.Copy !req
524. But...Copy !req
525. guess there's no honor
among thieves, hmm?Copy !req
526. Well...Copy !req
527. good luck, gentlemen.Copy !req
528. You deserve each other.Copy !req
529. Dana.Copy !req
530. Wow.Copy !req
531. You know, I've never
really seen him like that.Copy !req
532. He's so assertive.Copy !req
533. Uh, articulate.Copy !req
534. Yeah, he's had a head cold
the last couple weeks.Copy !req
535. Been pretty low energy.Copy !req
536. Really?Copy !req
537. Yep!Copy !req
538. Oh!
So, I guess...Copy !req
539. You and me, huh, Richard?Copy !req
540. Together, at last.Copy !req
541. Yeah.Copy !req
542. Dana rides a motorcycle?Copy !req
543. Yep.Copy !req
544. Cool.Copy !req
545. So, uh, what
exactly did you—Copy !req
546. Jian-Yang:
The witch lost his mind.Copy !req
547. Gilfoyle, you smoke?Copy !req
548. I kept mulling
that Seppen shit.Copy !req
549. I didn't leave a bit
of my code on that fridge.Copy !req
550. No remnants, nothing,
so how do they know?Copy !req
551. Then I realized...Copy !req
552. they're listening to us.Copy !req
553. They've been listening to us
this whole fucking time.Copy !req
554. Right.
All these devicesCopy !req
555. are listening to us!Copy !req
556. Okay, um...Copy !req
557. Gilfoyle, I-I think
you need some rest.Copy !req
558. Not yet.Copy !req
559. I checked their firmware
and their logs.Copy !req
560. The fridge is set
to record constantlyCopy !req
561. streaming everything
back to the cloud.Copy !req
562. They must have gone
through those audio logs,Copy !req
563. and listened
to our conversations.Copy !req
564. Wait, even if they
aren't listening to us,Copy !req
565. just the fact that
they could be is interesting.Copy !req
566. Shit.Copy !req
567. They make smoke detectors.Copy !req
568. I think there's one
in the kitchen.Copy !req
569. Those fuckers are listening.Copy !req
570. Jian-Yang, are—
are you copyingCopy !req
571. all those companies
for the Chinese markets?
Oh, no.Copy !req
572. Fuck you, Seppen.Copy !req
573. Hey! Where have you been?Copy !req
574. Um, I stayed at
Big Head's last night.Copy !req
575. Oh, God, I've been
calling all night.
Yeah.Copy !req
576. I just didn't feel like
getting reprimanded.Copy !req
577. I-I thought maybe
you were lockedCopy !req
578. in another Starbucks
bathroom overnight.Copy !req
579. One time, Jared. One time.Copy !req
580. Okay, you're just gonna
have to catch up
on the fly, then.Copy !req
581. On the fly, what?Copy !req
582. Richard Hendricks,Copy !req
583. this is Tom and Viola
from Seppen.
How do you do?Copy !req
584. Oh, hi.
Alright, uh,Copy !req
585. we won't take up
any more of your time.Copy !req
586. Richard has called you
in today, because...Copy !req
587. of this.Copy !req
588. Um, this is Seppen's
Smart Fridge
Terms of Service,Copy !req
589. where you specifically stateCopy !req
590. that only refrigerator
command-related user dataCopy !req
591. will be uploaded
to your cloud's service.Copy !req
592. That's correct.Copy !req
593. We believe that the
refrigerator is the hearth
of the modern—Copy !req
594. Stop talking.Copy !req
595. We know your refrigerators
are streamingCopy !req
596. all recorded audio
to the cloud.Copy !req
597. Every single conversation.Copy !req
598. Which is tantamount
to illegal wiretapping.Copy !req
599. You thought a mime
performing fellatio was bad?Copy !req
600. What happens when
your customers find outCopy !req
601. that every single thing
they've ever saidCopy !req
602. in front of their "hearth"
has been recorded?Copy !req
603. Oh, shit.Copy !req
604. We never listen
to any recordings.Copy !req
605. Look, we never wanted
to get into this tech stuff
in the first place,Copy !req
606. but our marketing
department insisted.Copy !req
607. Between us...Copy !req
608. Gavin Belson was the one
that pushed us to sue you.Copy !req
609. Is there something
we can do here?Copy !req
610. This is a deal memoCopy !req
611. stating that Pied Piper
will fix your security issue,Copy !req
612. and update your systemCopy !req
613. to Pied Piper's stack
in the futureCopy !req
614. which will lower
your server costsCopy !req
615. and improve the security
of your fridges.Copy !req
616. In exchange,
you drop the suit.Copy !req
617. Uh, Richard?Copy !req
618. Did I state that correctly?
Is that our offer?Copy !req
619. Uh-huh. Yep.Copy !req
620. I'd also like to tell you
I have a Seppen bread machine,Copy !req
621. and I have never been
happier with an appliance.Copy !req
622. Pleasure.
Thank you so much.Copy !req
623. Hey.Copy !req
624. I'm so sorry if
I overstepped my bounds.Copy !req
625. It's just time
was of the essence.Copy !req
626. Are you kidding me?
Jared, you saved us.Copy !req
627. And you did it without
having to fuck Gilfoyle over.Copy !req
628. Thanks!
Yeah, um...Copy !req
629. We should talk about
what they said about Gavin.Copy !req
630. Hello, Pied Piper!Copy !req
631. Nice gender mix.Copy !req
632. Could use a little
more color.Copy !req
633. Baby steps, right?
Where do you want me?Copy !req
634. What are you doing here?
What are you talking about?Copy !req
635. Well, I-I said I'd call you.Copy !req
636. I didn't say I was hiring you.Copy !req
637. Richard...Copy !req
638. I-I left Dana for you.Copy !req
639. I know. Ha!Copy !req
640. I'm aware.Copy !req
641. But...Copy !req
642. let me try a little
radical candor.Copy !req
643. Um, cheating on your CEOCopy !req
644. and then blaming it all on meCopy !req
645. is not really
the kind of behavior
I like to reward.Copy !req
646. Nor is pushing me
to put my friend in jail.Copy !req
647. Okay.Copy !req
648. You want candor, Richard?Copy !req
649. You are objectively
making a huge mistake.Copy !req
650. I'm a worldCopy !req
651. And your heavy metal friend?Copy !req
652. I mean, he's obviously a dick.Copy !req
653. And you know—
you know what else, Richard?Copy !req
654. You're 20 to 30 pounds
underweight.Copy !req
655. It's gross.Copy !req
656. Who was that?
He seemed smart!Copy !req
657. Hey, Richard?Copy !req
658. I'm at least
45 pounds underweight.Copy !req
659. Okay, and don't
worry about him.Copy !req
660. We're gonna find you
a much better COO.Copy !req
661. I think we already have.Copy !req
662. You want the job?Copy !req
663. Jared, uh...Copy !req
664. Alright, okay.Copy !req
665. I'm okay.
I know, just take it—
Everyone can see you.Copy !req
666. Oh my God.
Yeah, let's have a seat.Copy !req
667. Just think about it.
I'm okay!Copy !req
668. Yeah, let's...Copy !req
669. Do you want some water?
Just breathe, just breathe.Copy !req
670. Seppen said that Gavin
was pushing them
to sue us, right?Copy !req
671. Uh, yeah, but that
shouldn't be a surprise.Copy !req
672. But Seppen had no idea
that we broke in.Copy !req
673. How the fuck did Gavin know?Copy !req
674. Right!Copy !req
675. What? Are you
suggesting that...Copy !req
676. someone in here
is leaking info
to Gavin Belson?Copy !req
677. I am.Copy !req
678. We have a mole on our hands.Copy !req
679. What the fuck is going on
over there?Copy !req
680. Jeff :
Um, yeah, bad news.Copy !req
681. Seppen just left, and—
and it looks like
they're gonna settle.Copy !req
682. Hey! Dude.Copy !req
683. We have a mole!Copy !req
684. You remember KCopy !req
685. - Of course!
- K-Hole isCopy !req
686. euphoric about speaking to you
regarding a deal.Copy !req
687. That would put us months ahead.Copy !req
688. Whatever
you are doing, stop it now.Copy !req
689. This is not a done deal.Copy !req
690. Any word from our mole
at Pied Piper?Copy !req
691. We found the mole.Copy !req
692. How did the mole
get all this information?Copy !req
693. By exploiting
our most glaring weakness.Copy !req