1. Something's
wrong with your "frunk".Copy !req
2. It's all "frucked" up.Copy !req
3. I've instituted an operation
to safeguard our interests.Copy !req
4. Uh, Gavin Belson's office,
please.Copy !req
5. You wanted me
to unite the teams?Copy !req
6. They are united against me.Copy !req
7. If I'm not inspirational enough
for you, then there's the door.Copy !req
8. as the soul beneficiaryCopy !req
9. and the official executor
of Mr. Bachman's estate.Copy !req
10. This is my incubator now.Copy !req
11. You can't just kick us out,
Jian-Yang.Copy !req
12. Wait a second.Copy !req
13. So, the guy who just
kicked me out of my houseCopy !req
14. now owns 10%
of my company?Copy !req
15. Technically, he kicked you
out of his house.Copy !req
16. And he inherited all
of Mr. Bachman's assetsCopy !req
17. including his 10%
of Pied Piper.Copy !req
18. By faking his death.
Allegedly!Copy !req
19. Look, Richie.Copy !req
20. You didn't actually
lose anything here, okay?Copy !req
21. Bachman is
the aggrieved party,Copy !req
22. and if he is actually
still alive,Copy !req
23. he'll get his 10% back
when he shows up.Copy !req
24. In the meantime,
is it really any worseCopy !req
25. if it belongs
to this Yang guy?Copy !req
26. No, I guess not.Copy !req
27. So what's your real beef
here then, huh, Richie?Copy !req
28. You got something
against him?Copy !req
29. You don't have, like, a bias
against Asians, do you?Copy !req
30. Richard?
No, I don't.Copy !req
31. No, I just don't like being
kicked out of my house.Copy !req
32. By a...?Copy !req
33. N-Nothing. By no one!Copy !req
34. By any race!Copy !req
35. Yeah, I'm hearing
something different.Copy !req
36. You'd tell me
if you harboredCopy !req
37. nativist feelings,
wouldn't you?
Yes.Copy !req
38. Dana?Copy !req
39. Oh, hey.Copy !req
40. Hey!Copy !req
41. Dana, this is
Richard Hendricks.Copy !req
42. He's the CEO
of Pied Piper.Copy !req
43. And, Richard,Copy !req
44. this is Dana,
CEO of Quiver.
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
45. Yeah, I hear you guys
are giving Akami
a run for their money.Copy !req
46. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
47. Dana and I kept
finding ourselvesCopy !req
48. on the same bathroom
schedule back at Hooli.Copy !req
49. You know, men
and their cycles.Copy !req
50. You know what?Copy !req
51. You guys should
get a meal together.Copy !req
52. Right? You're—
you're kindred spirits.Copy !req
53. You're both CEOs.
You have a lot in common.Copy !req
54. Sure, yeah. Maybe. Yep.Copy !req
55. Well, Richard, you're free
tomorrow night.Copy !req
56. But I'm not.Copy !req
57. I have a big party
at my house.Copy !req
58. A lot of people
I don't know.Copy !req
59. So, see ya!Copy !req
60. What was that?Copy !req
61. I don't need you
to make friends for me.Copy !req
62. Oh, I just think
you could benefitCopy !req
63. from a friendship
with someone like Dana,Copy !req
64. who's so much like yourself.Copy !req
65. Like me?
You think that guy's like me?Copy !req
66. I just thought of something.Copy !req
67. Do you guys want
to come to my party?Copy !req
68. Dana, that's
so gracious of you.Copy !req
69. That would be delightful.Copy !req
70. Okay, bye.Copy !req
71. Mm-kay.Copy !req
72. You don't see it?Copy !req
73. It's uncanny.Copy !req
74. Look at this.
This is what they're askingCopy !req
75. for a one-bedroom
apartment in Menlo Park.Copy !req
76. Oh.Copy !req
77. What?Copy !req
78. Well, I can
comfortably affordCopy !req
79. my new one-bedroom apartment.Copy !req
80. You and I make
the same amount of money.Copy !req
81. I'm just wondering,
what is the difference?Copy !req
82. Could it be that
I didn't spend all my moneyCopy !req
83. on an absurdly
overCopy !req
84. Gilfoyle!Copy !req
85. So kind of you to join us.Copy !req
86. You're welcome.Copy !req
87. Yeah! Uh, well,
it's, uh, 2:00 PM.Copy !req
88. So, fourth day in a row
you missed the stand-up meeting.Copy !req
89. Correct.Copy !req
90. Maybe you should
hold it later.Copy !req
91. Okay, 'cause we
literally moved itCopy !req
92. from 9:00 to 11:00
to accommodate you.Copy !req
93. So do you mind telling us
when you feel like
you can make it in?Copy !req
94. Sure. Whenever
you hold the meeting,Copy !req
95. What the fuck was that?Copy !req
96. Uh, that's the song
"You Suffer" by Napalm Death.Copy !req
97. Oh, yeah? That's—
that's a whole song?
That's like a second.Copy !req
98. It's an alert.Copy !req
99. Whenever the price of Bitcoin
dips below a certain value,Copy !req
100. it's no longer
efficient to mine.Copy !req
101. When it comes back up,
it is.Copy !req
102. So, I need to know
when it breaks that threshold,Copy !req
103. so that I can remotely
toggle my rig at home.Copy !req
104. Okay. Any idea how often
that might happen?Copy !req
105. Bitcoin is very volatile.Copy !req
106. So...Copy !req
107. That's just so loud.Copy !req
108. A lot.
Good.
Alright, well...Copy !req
109. maybe turn it down
or something?Copy !req
110. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
111. What's up?
You guys working hard
or hardly working?Copy !req
112. 'Sup?Copy !req
113. Hey, buds.
How's it going?Copy !req
114. Man, these
Bay Area rents, huh?Copy !req
115. High AF.Copy !req
116. How's a guy supposed
to live by himself,Copy !req
117. or lady, by herself?Copy !req
118. Especially on an everyman
coder's salary, you feel me?Copy !req
119. Are you offering us
a cost of living raise?
Nope!Copy !req
120. Not at all. Even better.Copy !req
121. If one of you dudes
is strapped for cash,Copy !req
122. do you a solid.Copy !req
123. Move in, split the rent
"fiddy-fiddy."Copy !req
124. Or, 40/"siddy" depending on
square footage of bedrooms.Copy !req
125. Come on! Think about it!Copy !req
126. Jazzy Jeff!Copy !req
127. Hold up!Copy !req
128. Hey, uh, you got space
in your crib?Copy !req
129. Um...Copy !req
130. Yes, I-I have a room.Copy !req
131. Hmm?Copy !req
132. Fuck. Yeah.Copy !req
133. Fuck yeah!Copy !req
134. There he is!Copy !req
135. Nice place.Copy !req
136. Yeah.Copy !req
137. That's what a billion-dollar
evaluation will get you.Copy !req
138. Hey, what a great
topic of conversation
for you and Dana.Copy !req
139. Dana!
Oh, hey.Copy !req
140. You're just standing there.
Like a cool cowboy.Copy !req
141. Hey, yeah.Copy !req
142. I-I really
like your place.Copy !req
143. Yeah, me too.Copy !req
144. Well, he liked it,
so he bought it.Copy !req
145. Right? Just like you
and that hoodie.Copy !req
146. So, Dana,
interesting story.Copy !req
147. Uh, the reason Richard has
this bandage on his neck,Copy !req
148. and that he's got
one on his hand,Copy !req
149. is because he got so exhausted
during a code sprint,Copy !req
150. that he walked through
a plate-glass window.Copy !req
151. Now, I-I read on Pando
that you got injured alsoCopy !req
152. early on at your company?Copy !req
153. You should
tell Richard that story.Copy !req
154. Right? Interesting topic
between CEOs.Copy !req
155. If you want.
I mean, you don't have to.Copy !req
156. Alright, I'm gonna
go mingle.Copy !req
157. Go get 'em.Copy !req
158. So, how did you
hurt yourself?Copy !req
159. I tried to commit suicide.Copy !req
160. Cool. Not—
you know, interesting.Copy !req
161. Oh, wow! You cashed
another beer, you partier.Copy !req
162. I haven't cut loose
in so long.Copy !req
163. I'll probably get sloshed
off of one beer,Copy !req
164. and start babbling.Copy !req
165. That's, um...Copy !req
166. Let's have a beer, right?
Let's celebrate!Copy !req
167. New job!
New roomies!Copy !req
168. New internet, right?Copy !req
169. I said I'd get sloshed
off of one beer, crazy man.Copy !req
170. Okay, um...Copy !req
171. I'm gonna go to bed.
Good night.Copy !req
172. No, no, no!
You know what? Hold on!Copy !req
173. I'll have...
I'll have one beer!Copy !req
174. I'm not saying
I don't like
to party, Jeff.Copy !req
175. You like vodka?
Let's have a vodka.Copy !req
176. Yeah! Let's do vodka.Copy !req
177. Okay!Copy !req
178. Yeah.Copy !req
179. That's so much of it.Copy !req
180. That's a normal amount
right there.Copy !req
181. Is it?Copy !req
182. I like it.Copy !req
183. It's really cool.Copy !req
184. So, who painted it?Copy !req
185. A machine.Copy !req
186. It's actually the first
work of artCopy !req
187. made by AI to be sold
at Sotheby's.Copy !req
188. Sorry I'm late, Dana.
I got caught up.Copy !req
189. Hey! Hey,
wait a minute, you're—
you're Richard Hendricks.Copy !req
190. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
191. Sorry, I'm, uh,
Ben Burkhardt.Copy !req
192. I'm— I'm Dana's COO.Copy !req
193. Dana told me he invited you.
I'm so psyched you came!Copy !req
194. Yeah.
I got— I have so many
questions for you, man.Copy !req
195. Do you want to grab a drink
or do you want to stay here?Copy !req
196. There. Yeah.
Oh, great.Copy !req
197. I mean, even way back when
I was finishing my PhD at MIT,Copy !req
198. I would tell anyone
that would listenCopy !req
199. that a decentralized system
was the obvious eventuality.Copy !req
200. Yep.
And now it's more necessary
than ever.Copy !req
201. I mean, the stuff
Google and Facebook
are getting away with.Copy !req
202. It's insane. Totally.
Right?Copy !req
203. That's why I've always said
that the user's dataCopy !req
204. should be in the hands
of consumers,Copy !req
205. not the corporations.Copy !req
206. 100%, but see,
that can't happen,Copy !req
207. until someone iterates
a functional alternative.Copy !req
208. Which, I believe, Richard,Copy !req
209. I believe you're about to do.Copy !req
210. Well, I don't know.
Trying to, yeah.Copy !req
211. Have you solved, uh,
co-locating data
with the compute test?Copy !req
212. How do you know about that?Copy !req
213. Do you code?
I used to, man.Copy !req
214. Uh, yeah, I loved it so much,Copy !req
215. but, you know, I got drawn
over to the business side.Copy !req
216. Richard!Copy !req
217. There you are!Copy !req
218. Hey. Jared Dunn.
Hi! Ben Burkhardt.Copy !req
219. Hey, Dana.
So, it's 9:00 AM in Dubai.Copy !req
220. I gotta make a call,
so, excuse me, guys.Copy !req
221. Oh.Copy !req
222. So, um, Dana
was just telling meCopy !req
223. that he prefers
a late lunch, too.Copy !req
224. Just like...Copy !req
225. Is that right?Copy !req
226. Kind of.Copy !req
227. Well, I see a colleague.Copy !req
228. I'll leave you guys
to— to chat.Copy !req
229. Cool. Mm—Copy !req
230. So, on the way out,
Dana told meCopy !req
231. that he really loved
meeting you.Copy !req
232. He said it went great!Copy !req
233. Did you not think so?Copy !req
234. Yeah, it's just...
he didn't really talk, though.Copy !req
235. Yeah.
That's one of his quirks.Copy !req
236. He's fun.Copy !req
237. Hey, you know who I did
have a good conversation with?Copy !req
238. Who?
His COO.Copy !req
239. Who, Ben?Copy !req
240. Yeah, um, do you know him?Copy !req
241. Um, not well.Copy !req
242. I hear he's a very
competent executive.Copy !req
243. But apparently,
he left Oculus for QuiverCopy !req
244. in kind of an
unprofessional manner.Copy !req
245. Hmm, okay.
Well, he really loves
Pied Piper.Copy !req
246. Jared, come on!
This is your condo.Copy !req
247. Sleep in your bed.Copy !req
248. Don't be silly. Hey!Copy !req
249. Uh, leave the lights on
as long as you want.Copy !req
250. Uh, hey, Jared?Copy !req
251. Yes?
Um...Copy !req
252. Never mind.
Uh, see you tomorrow morning.Copy !req
253. Did I tell you about
Gilfoyle's terrible song?Copy !req
254. Yes. Yes, you did.
And I heard it.Copy !req
255. I'm— I'm gonna go clean
the rice cooker, Dinesh.Copy !req
256. You know what
the worst part is?Copy !req
257. He's actually a decent coder.Copy !req
258. He almost never fucks up.Copy !req
259. Uh, wait, almost?Copy !req
260. One time,
he royally fucked up,Copy !req
261. but even then,
he ended up saving the dayCopy !req
262. with all his fridges.Copy !req
263. Fridges?Copy !req
264. Seppen Smart Fridges!Copy !req
265. And you know what?Copy !req
266. It was totally illegal.Copy !req
267. ReallyCopy !req
268. So, tell me about
these fridges.
Jeff!Copy !req
269. I can't tell you that.Copy !req
270. It's a company secret.Copy !req
271. Okay, um, let me get you
some more vodka, Dinesh.Copy !req
272. Thank you guys for seeing me
on such short notice.Copy !req
273. Well, it's an honor
to have you, Gavin.Copy !req
274. Back there, we test our
compressor run capacitors.Copy !req
275. But here is what I'm sure
you'll be most interested
in seeing.Copy !req
276. This is our smart fridge
development team.Copy !req
277. To be honest,
we were a little nervousCopy !req
278. about wading into the
Internet-enabled market.Copy !req
279. Over the last 80 years,Copy !req
280. we've built a real trust
with our customers.Copy !req
281. Alright! Great tour!Copy !req
282. Oh, there's a lot more to see.Copy !req
283. Ugh. Why? Look.Copy !req
284. I came here to offer you
a partnershipCopy !req
285. to cut down your server bills.Copy !req
286. Oh!Copy !req
287. Well, our server costs
were far higherCopy !req
288. than we anticipated.Copy !req
289. As we said,
we're not well versed in—Copy !req
290. The 20th century?
Yeah, you mentioned that.Copy !req
291. Do you want to save
a fortune or not?Copy !req
292. Well, yes.Copy !req
293. In exchange, I need you
to do something for meCopy !req
294. with regard to the people
who hacked your refrigerators.Copy !req
295. I'm going to destroy
their lives.Copy !req
296. So, what?
So...Copy !req
297. So, I turned
to Bill Gates...
Yeah?Copy !req
298. Right, and I said...Copy !req
299. "I don't know, Bill.
Maybe you should Google it."Copy !req
300. You said that to Bill Gates?Copy !req
301. I did! I swear.Copy !req
302. Hey...Copy !req
303. can I ask you, um...Copy !req
304. Did you tell Dana
that we were having lunch?Copy !req
305. Richard, I told you
that Bill Gates story
for a reason.Copy !req
306. I, um, I practice something
called "radical candor."Copy !req
307. Which is no matter how
uncomfortable the truth is,Copy !req
308. I'm gonna tell it to you.Copy !req
309. And the honest truth is...Copy !req
310. I did not tell Dana
about this lunch.Copy !req
311. Things with Dana
have gotten stagnant.Copy !req
312. But the other night...Copy !req
313. talking to you, Richard, I—Copy !req
314. I felt that spark again.Copy !req
315. What are you saying?
Okay, well.Copy !req
316. The first tenet
of rad-can, Richard,Copy !req
317. is to just— is to just
say what you think,Copy !req
318. and so I'm gonna do that.
I'm gonna say what I think,Copy !req
319. and, Richard, I think
we should work together.Copy !req
320. Oh. You mean, like...?Copy !req
321. Like, I could be your COO.Copy !req
322. Um...Copy !req
323. I don't know.Copy !req
324. Maybe we shouldn't
be doing this.Copy !req
325. Whoa, whoa, Richard.Copy !req
326. We're just talking.Copy !req
327. You see any numbers
written down here?Copy !req
328. Do you see a Power Point?Copy !req
329. No, we don't even
have a laptop.Copy !req
330. Exactly! 'Cause we're
not doing anything wrong.
Oh, shit!Copy !req
331. Party of one.
Ben :
Shit.Copy !req
332. I looked at his calendar
and it said he had a meeting.Copy !req
333. Okay, Richard,
I'm gonna continue
being honest with youCopy !req
334. and tell you that
I have to leave now
through the kitchen.Copy !req
335. Okay.
Okay, please don't tell
anyone about this.Copy !req
336. Okay.Copy !req
337. What? Hey!Copy !req
338. Hey, Dana! What the heck?
Dana, right?Copy !req
339. Oh, hi.Copy !req
340. I'm just— Are you
having lunch alone?Copy !req
341. I am!
I'm totally alone.Copy !req
342. Uh, in fact...Copy !req
343. do you want to, uh,Copy !req
344. join me at my table for one?Copy !req
345. Oh, okay.Copy !req
346. Sure.Copy !req
347. Come on over.Copy !req
348. One beef pot pie.
One beef pot pie,
no carrots.Copy !req
349. Yep. Here.Copy !req
350. Put 'em here.Copy !req
351. I love beef pot pie.Copy !req
352. And only kind of
like carrots.Copy !req
353. Oh, fuck!Copy !req
354. Gilfoyle, goddammit.Copy !req
355. Could you please stop
that fucking noise?
I'm serious.Copy !req
356. How will I know when
to remote toggle my rig?Copy !req
357. Easy, you won't,
and neither will any of us,Copy !req
358. because you won't
remote toggle anything!Copy !req
359. No more remote toggling!
Got it?Copy !req
360. Just...
Hey.Copy !req
361. Hey!
How was lunch,
you little minx?Copy !req
362. What?Copy !req
363. Yeah, you thought
I wouldn't find out.Copy !req
364. I was, uh, texting with Dana.Copy !req
365. Just checking in.
And he mentionedCopy !req
366. that you two met up.
Oh, yeah!Copy !req
367. Yeah! Just, just
briefly for— yeah.Copy !req
368. Yeah! I-I-I knew you two
would hit it off.Copy !req
369. You know, Dana did mentionCopy !req
370. that he thought
you might be bulimic.Copy !req
371. Okay.Copy !req
372. Great, um...Copy !req
373. Jared, do you think
it's time we hire a COO?Copy !req
374. Oh!Copy !req
375. Did Dana suggest
we hire someone like Ben?Copy !req
376. Yeah. Yeah, like Ben.Copy !req
377. You see, if you didn't
have lunch with Dana,Copy !req
378. this never would've come up.Copy !req
379. I'll put together a list.Copy !req
380. Great.Copy !req
381. Um...Copy !req
382. Richard, you should see this.Copy !req
383. What the fuck?Copy !req
384. Seppen is suing us
for $10 million in damages.Copy !req
385. The complaint
specifically cites,Copy !req
386. "sullying their smart fridges
with mime-simulated fellatio."Copy !req
387. "Our customers invite us
into their homes.Copy !req
388. "The kitchen is
the modern hearth.Copy !req
389. We cannot have
that trust violated."
Is that a typo?Copy !req
390. Do they mean "heart"?Copy !req
391. How did Seppen
find out it was us?Copy !req
392. I don't know.Copy !req
393. You tell us, Gilfoyle.Copy !req
394. You said you pulled
all our code and bleached it.Copy !req
395. Maybe you missed something.Copy !req
396. No.Copy !req
397. No way.Copy !req
398. They have no proof it was us.
Ignore them.Copy !req
399. Ignore them?
What the fuck kind of
solution is that?Copy !req
400. No. "Hearth."
It's a word. Huh!Copy !req
401. We don't need
to solve anything.
They have nothing.Copy !req
402. Well, I'm pretty sure
they have something, Gilfoyle.Copy !req
403. So you fucked up
somewhere!
I didn't fuck up.Copy !req
404. Well, guys, I'm sure there's
something we can do here.Copy !req
405. Uh, just give me a second.Copy !req
406. Hey, sorry!
I-I can't talk right now.Copy !req
407. Can we meet up?Copy !req
408. Um, my place. Midnight.Copy !req
409. Ben :
Okay, I gotta go.Copy !req
410. Okay.Copy !req
411. Okay, so wait.Copy !req
412. You're telling me
this Gilfoyle guyCopy !req
413. first hacked into the fridges
as a prank?Copy !req
414. Without your knowledge?Copy !req
415. Uh, yeah.Copy !req
416. Well, there you go, Richard!Copy !req
417. If you didn't authorize it,Copy !req
418. then he's acting
as a rogue agent.Copy !req
419. You tell Seppen that
and Pied Piper's off scot-free.Copy !req
420. Yeah, but what would
happen to Gilfoyle?Copy !req
421. I don't know.
There'd be criminal
and civil chargesCopy !req
422. he'd have to deal
with on his own.Copy !req
423. Oh, Jesus!Copy !req
424. I don't know.
Sounds kinda brutal.Copy !req
425. In the end,
being on those
fridges saved us.Copy !req
426. Richard, I-I told you
about radical candor, yeah?Copy !req
427. Well, what I'm getting
from you now,Copy !req
428. is the opposite of that.Copy !req
429. It's actually something
we call "ruinous empathy."Copy !req
430. You want to destroy
your entire companyCopy !req
431. just to keep one
bad actor happy?Copy !req
432. That's not fair
to you, Richard!Copy !req
433. Oh, come on.
Gilfoyle will
never be happy.Copy !req
434. This is exactly
the kinda thingCopy !req
435. I could help you with
if you hired me.Copy !req
436. Hey, any news?Copy !req
437. Oh, goddammit.
Why is that thing
still fucking doing that?Copy !req
438. I guess Gilfoyle
forgot to turn it off.Copy !req
439. It's been doing
that all morning.Copy !req
440. I don't have his password.Copy !req
441. Bitcoin is really
volatile today.Copy !req
442. Yeah, okay.
Uh, where is he?Copy !req
443. Well, it's 10:00 AM,
so not here.Copy !req
444. Okay, you know what?
Fuck Gilfoyle.Copy !req
445. Fuck him right to hell.Copy !req
446. I've been saying that
for years.Copy !req
447. Where's Jared?Copy !req
448. Richard, are you serious?Copy !req
449. Yes.Copy !req
450. Well, I concede
that laying it all
at Gilfoyle's feetCopy !req
451. might get us out
of the Seppen lawsuit, but...Copy !req
452. I mean, you'd really
throw him to the wolves
like that?Copy !req
453. That doesn't sound like you.Copy !req
454. Well, maybe
I'm just becomingCopy !req
455. a little less
ruinously empathetic.Copy !req
456. Have you been
seeing a therapist?Copy !req
457. No.Copy !req
458. But...Copy !req
459. I have been seeing Ben.Copy !req
460. Ben Burkhardt.Copy !req
461. Oh, Richard, no.Copy !req
462. He's Dana's COO. You're—Copy !req
463. You're jeopardizing
your entire friendship
with Dana.Copy !req
464. What friendship with Dana?Copy !req
465. Who could be friends
with that guy?Copy !req
466. I got news for you, Jared.Copy !req
467. Dana sucks, man!Copy !req
468. Richard!Copy !req
469. I mean, he is a dog.Copy !req
470. How did he even found
his own company?Copy !req
471. Is he even smart?Copy !req
472. Okay, that's unfair.Copy !req
473. Look, this is your company.Copy !req
474. And you can work with
whomever you want.Copy !req
475. But I need you
to think long and hardCopy !req
476. about what you're
proposing to do to Gilfoyle.Copy !req
477. We're talking about
criminal charges here.Copy !req
478. He could be deported.Copy !req
479. There has to be
another option.Copy !req
480. Well, no offense, Jared,Copy !req
481. but Ben says there isn't.Copy !req
482. Okay? And he is
a world-class COOCopy !req
483. that has brought
multiple companies
to a billion dollars.Copy !req
484. And you're just
a biz dev guy.Copy !req
485. I'm— I'm sorry. I—Copy !req
486. I just think that
in this particular situation,Copy !req
487. Ben might know
a little better.Copy !req
488. Okay.Copy !req
489. You're the boss.Copy !req
490. You know,
but I will say this.Copy !req
491. If you're really going
to start working with Ben,Copy !req
492. at least give Dana
the common courtesyCopy !req
493. of telling him the truth
about what you guys are doing.Copy !req
494. Because if you
don't tell him...Copy !req
495. you're the dog.Copy !req
496. Thanks for, uh,
having me over.Copy !req
497. Of course.
So, it's gonna be
a bit weird at first.Copy !req
498. Then it's gonna be okay.Copy !req
499. What?Copy !req
500. Hi, this is Jared Dunn.Copy !req
501. Um, sorry, I don't
recognize this number.Copy !req
502. Jared? Come here now.Copy !req
503. JianCopy !req
504. So... Ben told me everything.Copy !req
505. Oh!Copy !req
506. Uh...Copy !req
507. Well...Copy !req
508. Radical candor,
I guess, right?Copy !req
509. Yeah, he told me how
you kept texting him non-stop.Copy !req
510. And he kept refusing,
but you were relentless.Copy !req
511. What? Uh, no!Copy !req
512. Richard, it's—
it's immaterial.Copy !req
513. The point is,
Dana knows everything now.Copy !req
514. However it came to that,
it's just words in the winds.Copy !req
515. "Words in the winds"?Copy !req
516. Yeah.Copy !req
517. Well, Richard,
looks like you got
what you wanted.Copy !req
518. You're both adults.Copy !req
519. You can work together
if you want.Copy !req
520. I just wish you'd demonstrated
the measure of spiritCopy !req
521. to discuss this
with me to my face.Copy !req
522. But...Copy !req
523. guess there's no honor
among thieves, hmm?Copy !req
524. Well...Copy !req
525. good luck, gentlemen.Copy !req
526. You deserve each other.Copy !req
527. Dana.Copy !req
528. Wow.Copy !req
529. You know, I've never
really seen him like that.Copy !req
530. He's so assertive.Copy !req
531. Uh, articulate.Copy !req
532. Yeah, he's had a head cold
the last couple weeks.Copy !req
533. Been pretty low energy.Copy !req
534. Really?Copy !req
535. Yep!Copy !req
536. Oh!
So, I guess...Copy !req
537. You and me, huh, Richard?Copy !req
538. Together, at last.Copy !req
539. Yeah.Copy !req
540. Dana rides a motorcycle?Copy !req
541. Yep.Copy !req
542. Cool.Copy !req
543. So, uh, what
exactly did you—Copy !req
544. Jian-Yang:
The witch lost his mind.Copy !req
545. Gilfoyle, you smoke?Copy !req
546. I kept mulling
that Seppen shit.Copy !req
547. I didn't leave a bit
of my code on that fridge.Copy !req
548. No remnants, nothing,
so how do they know?Copy !req
549. Then I realized...Copy !req
550. they're listening to us.Copy !req
551. They've been listening to us
this whole fucking time.Copy !req
552. Right.
All these devicesCopy !req
553. are listening to us!Copy !req
554. Okay, um...Copy !req
555. Gilfoyle, I-I think
you need some rest.Copy !req
556. Not yet.Copy !req
557. I checked their firmware
and their logs.Copy !req
558. The fridge is set
to record constantlyCopy !req
559. streaming everything
back to the cloud.Copy !req
560. They must have gone
through those audio logs,Copy !req
561. and listened
to our conversations.Copy !req
562. Wait, even if they
aren't listening to us,Copy !req
563. just the fact that
they could be is interesting.Copy !req
564. Shit.Copy !req
565. They make smoke detectors.Copy !req
566. I think there's one
in the kitchen.Copy !req
567. Those fuckers are listening.Copy !req
568. Jian-Yang, are—
are you copyingCopy !req
569. all those companies
for the Chinese markets?
Oh, no.Copy !req
570. Fuck you, Seppen.Copy !req
571. Hey! Where have you been?Copy !req
572. Um, I stayed at
Big Head's last night.Copy !req
573. Oh, God, I've been
calling all night.
Yeah.Copy !req
574. I just didn't feel like
getting reprimanded.Copy !req
575. I-I thought maybe
you were lockedCopy !req
576. in another Starbucks
bathroom overnight.Copy !req
577. One time, Jared. One time.Copy !req
578. Okay, you're just gonna
have to catch up
on the fly, then.Copy !req
579. On the fly, what?Copy !req
580. Richard Hendricks,Copy !req
581. this is Tom and Viola
from Seppen.
How do you do?Copy !req
582. Oh, hi.
Alright, uh,Copy !req
583. we won't take up
any more of your time.Copy !req
584. Richard has called you
in today, because...Copy !req
585. of this.Copy !req
586. Um, this is Seppen's
Smart Fridge
Terms of Service,Copy !req
587. where you specifically stateCopy !req
588. that only refrigerator
command-related user dataCopy !req
589. will be uploaded
to your cloud's service.Copy !req
590. That's correct.Copy !req
591. We believe that the
refrigerator is the hearth
of the modern—Copy !req
592. Stop talking.Copy !req
593. We know your refrigerators
are streamingCopy !req
594. all recorded audio
to the cloud.Copy !req
595. Every single conversation.Copy !req
596. Which is tantamount
to illegal wiretapping.Copy !req
597. You thought a mime
performing fellatio was bad?Copy !req
598. What happens when
your customers find outCopy !req
599. that every single thing
they've ever saidCopy !req
600. in front of their "hearth"
has been recorded?Copy !req
601. Oh, shit.Copy !req
602. We never listen
to any recordings.Copy !req
603. Look, we never wanted
to get into this tech stuff
in the first place,Copy !req
604. but our marketing
department insisted.Copy !req
605. Between us...Copy !req
606. Gavin Belson was the one
that pushed us to sue you.Copy !req
607. Is there something
we can do here?Copy !req
608. This is a deal memoCopy !req
609. stating that Pied Piper
will fix your security issue,Copy !req
610. and update your systemCopy !req
611. to Pied Piper's stack
in the futureCopy !req
612. which will lower
your server costsCopy !req
613. and improve the security
of your fridges.Copy !req
614. In exchange,
you drop the suit.Copy !req
615. Uh, Richard?Copy !req
616. Did I state that correctly?
Is that our offer?Copy !req
617. Uh-huh. Yep.Copy !req
618. I'd also like to tell you
I have a Seppen bread machine,Copy !req
619. and I have never been
happier with an appliance.Copy !req
620. Pleasure.
Thank you so much.Copy !req
621. Hey.Copy !req
622. I'm so sorry if
I overstepped my bounds.Copy !req
623. It's just time
was of the essence.Copy !req
624. Are you kidding me?
Jared, you saved us.Copy !req
625. And you did it without
having to fuck Gilfoyle over.Copy !req
626. Thanks!
Yeah, um...Copy !req
627. We should talk about
what they said about Gavin.Copy !req
628. Hello, Pied Piper!Copy !req
629. Nice gender mix.Copy !req
630. Could use a little
more color.Copy !req
631. Baby steps, right?
Where do you want me?Copy !req
632. What are you doing here?
What are you talking about?Copy !req
633. Well, I-I said I'd call you.Copy !req
634. I didn't say I was hiring you.Copy !req
635. Richard...Copy !req
636. I-I left Dana for you.Copy !req
637. I know. Ha!Copy !req
638. I'm aware.Copy !req
639. But...Copy !req
640. let me try a little
radical candor.Copy !req
641. Um, cheating on your CEOCopy !req
642. and then blaming it all on meCopy !req
643. is not really
the kind of behavior
I like to reward.Copy !req
644. Nor is pushing me
to put my friend in jail.Copy !req
645. Okay.Copy !req
646. You want candor, Richard?Copy !req
647. You are objectively
making a huge mistake.Copy !req
648. I'm a worldCopy !req
649. And your heavy metal friend?Copy !req
650. I mean, he's obviously a dick.Copy !req
651. And you know—
you know what else, Richard?Copy !req
652. You're 20 to 30 pounds
underweight.Copy !req
653. It's gross.Copy !req
654. Who was that?
He seemed smart!Copy !req
655. Hey, Richard?Copy !req
656. I'm at least
45 pounds underweight.Copy !req
657. Okay, and don't
worry about him.Copy !req
658. We're gonna find you
a much better COO.Copy !req
659. I think we already have.Copy !req
660. You want the job?Copy !req
661. Jared, uh...Copy !req
662. Alright, okay.Copy !req
663. I'm okay.
I know, just take it—
Everyone can see you.Copy !req
664. Oh my God.
Yeah, let's have a seat.Copy !req
665. Just think about it.
I'm okay!Copy !req
666. Yeah, let's...Copy !req
667. Do you want some water?
Just breathe, just breathe.Copy !req
668. Seppen said that Gavin
was pushing them
to sue us, right?Copy !req
669. Uh, yeah, but that
shouldn't be a surprise.Copy !req
670. But Seppen had no idea
that we broke in.Copy !req
671. How the fuck did Gavin know?Copy !req
672. Right!Copy !req
673. What? Are you
suggesting that...Copy !req
674. someone in here
is leaking info
to Gavin Belson?Copy !req
675. I am.Copy !req
676. We have a mole on our hands.Copy !req
677. What the fuck is going on
over there?Copy !req
678. Jeff :
Um, yeah, bad news.Copy !req
679. Seppen just left, and—
and it looks like
they're gonna settle.Copy !req
680. Hey! Dude.Copy !req
681. We have a mole!Copy !req
682. You remember KCopy !req
683. - Of course!
- K-Hole isCopy !req
684. euphoric about speaking to you
regarding a deal.Copy !req
685. That would put us months ahead.Copy !req
686. Whatever
you are doing, stop it now.Copy !req
687. This is not a done deal.Copy !req
688. Any word from our mole
at Pied Piper?Copy !req
689. We found the mole.Copy !req
690. How did the mole
get all this information?Copy !req
691. By exploiting
our most glaring weakness.Copy !req