1. - You know what, should we...
- Fuck, yeah.Copy !req
2. Uh, yeah, I guess, just
put it in the garage.Copy !req
3. Oh. Uh, where I sleep?Copy !req
4. Yeah, it's just, it's the
only place with room.Copy !req
5. Okay, uh, well, it's
good to face your fears.Copy !req
6. I was scared of intruders
until I had one of those in my room,Copy !req
7. and then I realized if they're gonna
kill me, they're gonna kill me.Copy !req
8. 'Cause he kept whispering that.Copy !req
9. All right.Copy !req
10. - Hey, Russ.
- "Hey, Russ?"Copy !req
11. Fuck you, Richard Hendricks!Copy !req
12. "Fuck me," regarding...Copy !req
13. It's all over the blogs,
you took our idea to Gavin Belson?Copy !req
14. - Whoa. I'm sorry, "Our idea"?
- Yeah.Copy !req
15. The new Internet,
we came up with that togetherCopy !req
16. standing outside of my kid's school,
former school.Copy !req
17. Uh, no. Um, you told me to name an idea,
and so I named one.Copy !req
18. That was my idea,
you were just standing there.Copy !req
19. Yeah, pulling it out of you
like a newborn baby.Copy !req
20. Okay, but, uh, well, if a doctor
pulls a baby out of a pregnant womanCopy !req
21. the doctor doesn't get
to then keep the baby.Copy !req
22. Okay, first of all, my ex-wife is fucking
the doctor that delivered my sonCopy !req
23. and they're suing for full custody,
so you're wrong.Copy !req
24. Second of all, this isn't a baby.Copy !req
25. Stop trying to change the subject, Richard!Copy !req
26. Okay, well, uh, I had to go to Gavin
because he owned the patent,Copy !req
27. which, as it turns out,
he just signed over to me,Copy !req
28. so, um, it's actually good that you're hereCopy !req
29. because you want in and we need funding.Copy !req
30. Especially since no VC in town will
touch us, not even Monica's new firm.Copy !req
31. So, Gavin pulls out and you want me
to be your sloppy seconds?Copy !req
32. It's always about my money,
isn't it?Copy !req
33. Uh, well, you are an investor,
so what else would it be about?Copy !req
34. - My idea!
- It was my idea!Copy !req
35. Well, then fund it yourself.Copy !req
36. Fuck you, Richard Hendricks.Copy !req
37. Fuck you right in your little assholeCopy !req
38. and not in a beautiful way
like Grandpa and Pedro.Copy !req
39. Uh, what the hell was that?Copy !req
40. That was the last wealthy guy in Silicon
Valley that would even fucking talk to us.Copy !req
41. Maybe I'll give him a day to cool off,
try him again tomorrow, something...Copy !req
42. Not so sure about that.Copy !req
43. - Ugh. Come on.
- Payback's a bitch, isn't it, Richard?Copy !req
44. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
45. I don't think he knows that's not your car.Copy !req
46. Real estate listings?
What, are you looking to move out?Copy !req
47. No, I'm just taking a
little Redfin holiday.Copy !req
48. I find there's a certain
escapist allure to real estate listings.Copy !req
49. I like that one.Copy !req
50. Too bad it's 10 times what I can afford,Copy !req
51. 'cause you know, I quit Periscope to go
work for a company with zero prospects,Copy !req
52. 'cause fuck me.Copy !req
53. Well, with preconstruction pricingCopy !req
54. this one's actually
only six times more than you could affordCopy !req
55. so, now, let's go onto AmazonCopy !req
56. and see what we could buy
with all those imaginary savings.Copy !req
57. Wait a minute.Copy !req
58. What if we don't need an investor at all?Copy !req
59. Fuck all these VCs.Copy !req
60. What if all we need is a customer?Copy !req
61. Customer for what?
We haven't built a product yet.Copy !req
62. Well, uh, neither have all
those condo builders, right?Copy !req
63. I mean, they're offering a discount
to people who buy before they build.Copy !req
64. We can do the same thing,
but with data storage.Copy !req
65. That sounds like a scam.Copy !req
66. Well, no, it's actually common practice.Copy !req
67. It's how I bought my condo.Copy !req
68. The scam came after when I rented
to a squatter who wouldn't leave.Copy !req
69. Granted, there's no shortage
of huge corporationsCopy !req
70. with vast amounts of data,
but it's highly risky.Copy !req
71. I mean, Richard, we'd be
offering to store dataCopy !req
72. on a network of cell phones
before we built the app or the network.Copy !req
73. Yeah, but, look, it's no more risky than
working with all these crazy billionaires.Copy !req
74. I mean, Jack and his boxes,Copy !req
75. Gavin just fucked off to go find himself,
who knows where, Peter died.Copy !req
76. Yeah, I guess that makes him crazy.Copy !req
77. The point is, if you don't draw the line in
the sand when some guy pisses in your car,Copy !req
78. where do you, you know?Copy !req
79. Someone pissed in someone's car?Copy !req
80. Not literally, no.
It's a, uh, figure of speech, an old one.Copy !req
81. Ah. An adage.Copy !req
82. Anyway, uh, Jared,
let's get a deck together on this.Copy !req
83. Aye, aye, captain.
And, uh, just word to the wise,Copy !req
84. often the first customer
is the hardest one to land.Copy !req
85. Wait, "customer"? Are we pitching?Copy !req
86. Yeah, looks like it.Copy !req
87. God damn, Richie. Let's hit the road!Copy !req
88. We're gonna piss in everyone's car.Copy !req
89. Am I using that right?Copy !req
90. Medical groups, sales groups,
insurance companies.Copy !req
91. Jared, yeah. Good work here, really.Copy !req
92. Well, Gavin was right.Copy !req
93. His name certainly opened a lot of doors.Copy !req
94. Ever since your announcement,
everyone has heard of us.Copy !req
95. Jared, you didn't tell all these peopleCopy !req
96. that Gavin was still working
with the company, did you?Copy !req
97. Well, no, but I never explicitly said
that he wasn't.Copy !req
98. Was that wrong?Copy !req
99. No, Jared. That's fine.Copy !req
100. The tech will speak for itself.Copy !req
101. It certainly will.Copy !req
102. Now, Richard, when we get into that room,
let me do all of the talking.Copy !req
103. And also the tech will talk.Copy !req
104. Wait, so Gavin's not coming?Copy !req
105. No, but we are. We've already come.Copy !req
106. Gavin left the company?Copy !req
107. Yes, um, but what's important,
at least we think, uh,Copy !req
108. is not whether Gavin is gone, but what
brought him to us in the first place,Copy !req
109. and that's the tech.Copy !req
110. Gentlemen, sorry to keep you waiting.Copy !req
111. I'm George Mandechian, CEO.
I'm very excited to...Copy !req
112. He did? Huh.Copy !req
113. Okay.Copy !req
114. God damn it. I mean, if people just look at
what we're offering,Copy !req
115. I think they'd be blown away.Copy !req
116. Perhaps we need a new angle.Copy !req
117. I'll fake a seizure.Copy !req
118. - What?
- Pied Piper.Copy !req
119. Hi, I'm Liz Tinsdale,Copy !req
120. Head of Compliance
here at Fiduciated General.Copy !req
121. Erlich Bachman.Copy !req
122. And I'm, uh, Richard Hendricks.Copy !req
123. Are we all here?Copy !req
124. Yes, yeah, we are.Copy !req
125. Uh, sorry, full disclosure, uh,
Gavin Belson has left the company.Copy !req
126. - Oh! Oh, I see.
- His loss.Copy !req
127. He won't be sitting across from someoneCopy !req
128. as charming as yourself this afternoon,
will he?Copy !req
129. Okay, well, I mean,
you did come all the way here,Copy !req
130. so, why don't you follow me?Copy !req
131. I'd follow you to the end of the Earth.
Shall we?Copy !req
132. - What are you doing?
- What?Copy !req
133. So, as you can see,
your data will be even more secureCopy !req
134. because it will be stored on multiple devices
and we can offer you a very competitive rate.Copy !req
135. You can expect to see
storage savings annually of 25%.Copy !req
136. Wow. That's very impressive, all of it,
but you guys have to understandCopy !req
137. that companies like ours
are particularly risk averse.Copy !req
138. Is it a slight Idaho accent, Liz?Copy !req
139. Oh. It's Montana, actually.Copy !req
140. - Even better.
- Yeah.Copy !req
141. The big blue sky state.Copy !req
142. Well, I knew
you had to have come from above.Copy !req
143. Well, uh, speaking of heaven,Copy !req
144. that's probably where you'll think you areCopy !req
145. when you start saving 25%
on your data storage.Copy !req
146. You have a gate from there?Copy !req
147. Liz, you have beautiful skin.Copy !req
148. Um, well, thank you, both of you.Copy !req
149. Listen, I think I know what he's gonna say,
but let me see if I can pull my CTO in here.Copy !req
150. Can you reel it in a little?Copy !req
151. We're trying to make a business deal,
not get you laid.Copy !req
152. I'm not trying to get laid, Richard.Copy !req
153. Clearly she has a lot of
pent up sexual energy,Copy !req
154. likely from working in this worm farm,
so that's the angle I'm takingCopy !req
155. since I'm not allowed to have a seizure.Copy !req
156. Besides, she's going to bat for us.Copy !req
157. You should be thanking me.
The CTO's on the way in.Copy !req
158. Yes, because of the technology
and because of our business proposal.Copy !req
159. Look, can you just, please, for once,
keep your dick out of the equation?Copy !req
160. I really wish I could,Copy !req
161. but my dick is the abacus
upon which this equationCopy !req
162. - will be...
- Guys.Copy !req
163. This is our CTO.Copy !req
164. Oh, great.Copy !req
165. Hello.Copy !req
166. I'm Dan Melcher, nice to meet you.Copy !req
167. Yeah. Hello.Copy !req
168. Hi, Dan.Copy !req
169. - Do you guys know each other?
- No.Copy !req
170. I just said my name was Dan.
That's how he knows.Copy !req
171. Uh, I don't need to waste
any more of your time with this.Copy !req
172. Why don't I... I'll take
this one from here.Copy !req
173. - Okay.
- Oh. Yeah.Copy !req
174. What the fuck are you doing here?Copy !req
175. Very rude, Daniel.Copy !req
176. Although, what can we expect
after TechCrunch DisruptCopy !req
177. when you sucker punched me
in the goddamn face.Copy !req
178. You fucked my wife.Copy !req
179. I fucked your wives. Plural.Copy !req
180. - Both of them.
- Erlich.Copy !req
181. The customer's always right,
so let's just leave it at "wife," singular,Copy !req
182. - and be done with it.
- Okay.Copy !req
183. I need you to listen to me very carefully.Copy !req
184. It took me a very long, long time
to get back on my feetCopy !req
185. after I got fired from OracleCopy !req
186. and tech firms wouldn't touch me,Copy !req
187. but I've managed to find
a home here, a life.Copy !req
188. Okay, it's insurance.Copy !req
189. It's not ideal, but it's something,Copy !req
190. and I don't care, whatever it is
that you're selling here,Copy !req
191. I'm not buying it.Copy !req
192. Well, it's a pretty
groundbreaking technology.Copy !req
193. - Oh. Shut the fuck up.
- Okay. Yeah.Copy !req
194. Look at me, never gonna happen. Okay?Copy !req
195. Never going to...Copy !req
196. Dan, did you give the dogs
their medicine this morning?Copy !req
197. Uh, no, was I supposed to?Copy !req
198. Yeah, because remember, I had to go back
to the restaurantCopy !req
199. to get your card that you forgot.Copy !req
200. Uh, yep. Sorry.Copy !req
201. Um, I mean, I guess I could run home.Copy !req
202. - You two married?
- Oh. No, not yet. We're engaged.Copy !req
203. Well, it was nice to meet you both.Copy !req
204. - Bye now, Liz.
- All right, bye, honey.Copy !req
205. Okay.Copy !req
206. Oh, Dan.Copy !req
207. Dan, Dan, Dan.Copy !req
208. Dan Melcher,
the guy who beat the piss out of you?Copy !req
209. The very same.Copy !req
210. I looked him dead in the eyes and I said,Copy !req
211. "Daniel, I fucked every
wife you've ever had.Copy !req
212. "Care to go three for three?"Copy !req
213. Needless to say, he did not.Copy !req
214. You don't come off in that story
as well as you think you do.Copy !req
215. So, to avoid being thrice made a cuckold,
he agreed to a deal?Copy !req
216. Well, uh, not yet.Copy !req
217. Melcher actually signed off on it,Copy !req
218. but his fiancée wanted to certify
that what we're trying to buildCopy !req
219. complies with their data handling
and security protocols.Copy !req
220. We're reviewing it all tomorrow, actually.Copy !req
221. Ah, I can't wait.
Tomorrow, the real fun begins.Copy !req
222. Uh, no. No, you're not coming.Copy !req
223. - Why not?
- "Why not?" Uh... Geez.Copy !req
224. Well, you fucked Dan's last wifeCopy !req
225. the night before he was our judge
on the TechCrunch panelCopy !req
226. with absolutely no regard
for what that meant to the company.Copy !req
227. What it meant for the company is that
we went to the finals and we won.Copy !req
228. Because of the tech.Copy !req
229. We won because of the tech, remember?Copy !req
230. We're getting this deal
because of the tech.Copy !req
231. I'm not letting you fuck this up, okay?Copy !req
232. I know you're looking for something to do,
but this is not it.Copy !req
233. What do you mean,
I'm looking for something to do?Copy !req
234. You're lucky that you've garnished
this much of my time.Copy !req
235. I have plenty to do.
Tons of lots of things.Copy !req
236. I have a thriving incubator.Copy !req
237. It is thriving.Copy !req
238. Isn't it?Copy !req
239. Fuck you, guys.Copy !req
240. Okay, so how soon
can we test our app on a phone?Copy !req
241. Look, uh, about all this Erlich stuff...Copy !req
242. Oh, no, no, no, I don't want to
talk about him or think about himCopy !req
243. ever again.Copy !req
244. - Okay.
- Look, I've signed off.Copy !req
245. But, Richard, I need you to look me in the
eye and tell me that this is gonna work,Copy !req
246. 'cause if it doesn't,
I'm completely fucked.Copy !req
247. It's gonna work, I promise.Copy !req
248. All right. Well, I'm gonna step out,
you're in good hands.Copy !req
249. - Okay.
- Okay,Copy !req
250. should we start with adjuster records?Copy !req
251. Sure.Copy !req
252. You guys said you were proficient
in video files, right?Copy !req
253. We were a video chat company for a while.Copy !req
254. Oh, that's exciting.Copy !req
255. Uh, yeah, I guess.Copy !req
256. It wasn't really for me.Copy !req
257. Um, in fact, actually, just as
we were taking off, I walked away.Copy !req
258. Commitment issues?Copy !req
259. Uh, I don't know, it's just...Copy !req
260. I never really thought that video chat
was the best use of our compression.Copy !req
261. Kinda felt like I was settling, you know?Copy !req
262. Ooh.Copy !req
263. Settling.Copy !req
264. Yeah, our company can grow in ways
that we haven't even thought of yet.Copy !req
265. I mean, I was gonna spend the rest of my life
just wondering if there was something better.Copy !req
266. That's not really a way to live.Copy !req
267. And what, I'm gonna say to all my friends,Copy !req
268. like, "Oh, this is how I'm
spending my time," you know?Copy !req
269. Every morning I get up and it's vidchatCopy !req
270. and then I go to bed, it's vidchat,
then I get up again, it's vidchat,Copy !req
271. and it's... I wanna kill myself, you know?Copy !req
272. Yeah. Yeah, I think I know what you mean.Copy !req
273. Yeah.Copy !req
274. So, what do you think, Erlich?Copy !req
275. You're the first person to see the place.Copy !req
276. I love the smell of fresh spackle and hope.Copy !req
277. Yeah? Two more weeks
and Bream-Hall's in business.Copy !req
278. Even better, that donkey Ed Chen and Raviga
were so blindsidedCopy !req
279. they're running around
with their hair on fire.Copy !req
280. Yeah, it's a beautiful world, Erlich.Copy !req
281. And after years of busting my ass,
I'm finally doing it.Copy !req
282. Oh! And check it out,
we even have swag with my name on it.Copy !req
283. - Look, Monica Hall...
- Laurie.Copy !req
284. Hello. Well, good. Now that you're both here,
we can dispense with the mindless chitchat.Copy !req
285. I'd like to be the first
to offer you, both,Copy !req
286. the opportunity to take me off the market.Copy !req
287. I don't understand.Copy !req
288. I'm saying that I very much respect
what you're doing here, almost revere it,Copy !req
289. and I wanted to offer my services
as an associateCopy !req
290. and I will not phone it in.Copy !req
291. I'll be the first one here at 10:30 a.m.Copy !req
292. and the last one to leave
a smidge after 4:00.Copy !req
293. I'll, of course, need an office,
an attractive personal assistant,Copy !req
294. paternity leave if that goes well,Copy !req
295. and an umbrella insurance policy
if that does not go well.Copy !req
296. What do you say?Copy !req
297. I'd like a job, dears.Copy !req
298. The singular function of this firmCopy !req
299. is to ensure that our investors' money
is in wise hands.Copy !req
300. If you are known for anything,
it is quite the opposite.Copy !req
301. Therefore, no.Copy !req
302. I'm sorry, Erlich.Copy !req
303. Look, I know you're looking
for something to do, but...Copy !req
304. Who is pushing this false narrative
that I'm looking for something to do?Copy !req
305. But... What?Copy !req
306. But Laurie is my partner and if she doesn't
think you add any real value,Copy !req
307. then there's no future for you here.Copy !req
308. I gave you weed. A lot of it.Copy !req
309. You want a fleece?Copy !req
310. God, there's something beautiful about
testing your first alpha.Copy !req
311. It's like watching a child
take its first steps.Copy !req
312. Well, let's see if our space-saver app
actually saves us any space.Copy !req
313. All right. Done.Copy !req
314. Yeah?Copy !req
315. Can I mark this deliverable as complete?Copy !req
316. Is our child a dancer?Copy !req
317. Wait, I was only using 32.2 gigs of data
before the testCopy !req
318. and now it says I'm using 47.8.Copy !req
319. Fuck! Mine expanded also. What the fuck?Copy !req
320. Why do I have a photo folder
entitled "Cool hairstyles"?Copy !req
321. Why do I have an e-mail for
the "Anton LaVey Fun Run"?Copy !req
322. Fuck. We got a merge error.Copy !req
323. All of our information is on both phones.Copy !req
324. I wonder what kind of
weird shit you get into.Copy !req
325. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
What are you doing?Copy !req
326. I'm just looking at your very embarrassing
personal information.Copy !req
327. Fuck you. If you look at my shit,
I'm gonna look at your shit.Copy !req
328. All right. Whoa, whoa. Easy now.Copy !req
329. I'll go balls deep on your inbox.Copy !req
330. If you've taken one fucking
selfie, I will find it.Copy !req
331. Okay. Guys, we've got to calm down. Okay?Copy !req
332. Look at this. This is
not where we wanna be.Copy !req
333. Let's take a deep breath and let's
just be cool and put our phones down.Copy !req
334. Go ahead.Copy !req
335. - I'll put it down once he stops touching.
- Okay.Copy !req
336. Great. Good.Copy !req
337. That wasn't so hard, was it?Copy !req
338. - If he can do...
- No, no, no... Okay.Copy !req
339. Gotcha.Copy !req
340. No, you didn't. Fuck you.Copy !req
341. Are those almond poppy seed muffins
or lemon poppy seed muffins?Copy !req
342. No matter, I'll take both.
And the, uh, whole first floor.Copy !req
343. It's been a pretty bad...Copy !req
344. Uh, you know what?
Do you have any day-olds?Copy !req
345. Hey, are you sitting here?Copy !req
346. What the fuck does it look like?Copy !req
347. Sorry, he didn't tell us
who he was inviting to the meeting.Copy !req
348. He just said it was a bunch of us.Copy !req
349. How many are we?Copy !req
350. I think a few other firms are coming.Copy !req
351. Sequoia and Greylock,
maybe a few more for this round.Copy !req
352. Jeff from Index Ventures.Copy !req
353. You brought swag to a pitch meeting?
Yikes, that's so three years ago.Copy !req
354. Have you seen Keenan yet?Copy !req
355. I don't know who that is.Copy !req
356. Seriously though, I don't know
who you're talking about.Copy !req
357. Bream-Hall?Copy !req
358. Hey, man.Copy !req
359. I don't know who you think you are,Copy !req
360. but you're not supposed
to be at this table.Copy !req
361. I don't know who you think you are,Copy !req
362. but men aren't supposed to grow titsCopy !req
363. and yet there they are
atop your little paunch.Copy !req
364. Who the fuck are you?Copy !req
365. I'm fucking Erlich Bachman.
Who the fuck are you?Copy !req
366. I'm Keenan Feldspar.Copy !req
367. And I like the balls on you.Copy !req
368. Get out of there. I want
to sit next to this guy.Copy !req
369. Oh, man, nice swag.Copy !req
370. I tell ya, it is, um, warm in here.Copy !req
371. Oh. Yeah, they, uh,
shut the AC off after midnight.Copy !req
372. The things this company goes through
to save a dime.Copy !req
373. Well, classic Melcher.Copy !req
374. Okay, should we cover this section
on intrusion detection intervention?Copy !req
375. - Liz?
- Huh?Copy !req
376. Okay, uh, I don't wanna pry,
but did I do something wrong?Copy !req
377. It's just, for the past few hours,
you've been a little, um, checked out.Copy !req
378. I'm just thinking.Copy !req
379. So you're getting cold feet?Copy !req
380. What?Copy !req
381. It's okay, I know what you're dealing with.Copy !req
382. - I don't think you do.
- I do.Copy !req
383. Trust me. I do.Copy !req
384. Okay, I bet someone in your position
has been told many times toCopy !req
385. look before you leap,Copy !req
386. but, Liz, what about right now you just
leap before you look?Copy !req
387. Look, I'm gonna go out on a limb here,Copy !req
388. but I'm gonna go ahead and say that I'll bet
there's a piece of you deep down insideCopy !req
389. that knows this is a good idea.Copy !req
390. It's new, it's exciting.Copy !req
391. I mean, by God, Liz,
this is the most durable sophisticated,Copy !req
392. decentralized storage infrastructure
the world has...Copy !req
393. Whoa.Copy !req
394. And then it just happened.Copy !req
395. On the floor?Copy !req
396. We were like two wild animals.Copy !req
397. I'm sure it was magnificent.Copy !req
398. I get pissed at Erlich for not keeping
it in his pants,Copy !req
399. and then I go ahead and do this?Copy !req
400. Shit! I mean, Dan's gonna find out.Copy !req
401. I mean, he punched Erlich in the face
for when he did it to himCopy !req
402. and now, what do you think
he's gonna do to me, huh?Copy !req
403. He's gonna fucking kill me
and then the deal's gonna fall through.Copy !req
404. I can't believe I jeopardized
the entire company with my dick.Copy !req
405. - Hey, hey, we can get through this.
- Yeah.Copy !req
406. All right? First I need some details.Copy !req
407. Are you in love?Copy !req
408. What? No, no. I barely know her.Copy !req
409. Okay. Okay, that's good.Copy !req
410. Then we just need to extricate you
from this situation.Copy !req
411. Now it's not gonna be easy because
she's very probably in love with you.Copy !req
412. Jared, I don't think that that's...Copy !req
413. Richard, this is no time
for false humility.Copy !req
414. You're a catch. Just deal with it.Copy !req
415. Now, you need to break this thing off
clean and clear,Copy !req
416. so you just walk into that office
and you look her in the eyesCopy !req
417. and you say, "Listen, baby,Copy !req
418. "you're getting hitched
and I was born to roam."Copy !req
419. "Born to roam"?Copy !req
420. Hey, Jared, did I miss any calls?Copy !req
421. Not a good time, my man.Copy !req
422. Jared?Copy !req
423. Sorry.Copy !req
424. Nope, no calls.Copy !req
425. What a shocker.Copy !req
426. I need to call Tara.Copy !req
427. Okay, but I need to hold your phone.Copy !req
428. It might be sexual in nature.Copy !req
429. Well, I think I can handle that.Copy !req
430. All right.Copy !req
431. No.Copy !req
432. Um, something else in here, please?Copy !req
433. - Monica...
- Mmm.Copy !req
434. The salient...Copy !req
435. Ladies.Copy !req
436. What are you doing here?Copy !req
437. I believe the answer to that questionCopy !req
438. is currently sitting in your unfinished
waiting area.Copy !req
439. - Holy shit, is that...
- Keenan Feldspar? Yes.Copy !req
440. Why? Have you heard of him?Copy !req
441. Of course. Every competent VC has.Copy !req
442. His VR headset is reputed to be
the new standard.Copy !req
443. Oh, it is.Copy !req
444. I tested the prototype last night
at his house. We got quite drunk.Copy !req
445. What exactly is he doing
in our waiting area?Copy !req
446. Well, Laurie, he's waiting.Copy !req
447. Upon my instruction...Copy !req
448. Imagine landing the biggest whale
in the valleyCopy !req
449. two weeks before you launch your firm.Copy !req
450. Or should I say, before
"we" launch your firm.Copy !req
451. All right. The new build is done.Copy !req
452. Ugh. I'm so glad this is over.Copy !req
453. I felt like Gibraltar in World War II,Copy !req
454. where he was both crucial and inert.Copy !req
455. All right. One press of the button
and we are back to normal.Copy !req
456. What's the problem?Copy !req
457. I don't know.Copy !req
458. What don't you know?Copy !req
459. You seem a bit eager to
resolve the situation.Copy !req
460. You're almost anxious.Copy !req
461. It's a new color on you.Copy !req
462. A new color on you would be...Copy !req
463. Bah, bah, bah. Even as you're trying
to make a boring, racist comment,Copy !req
464. you can't keep your eyes off my phone.Copy !req
465. See?Copy !req
466. Now, I know all my embarrassing shit
is on your phone,Copy !req
467. and if you look at it, you will mock me
endlessly and without mercy.Copy !req
468. But what's also true is that you already
mock me endlessly and without mercy,Copy !req
469. so I have nothing to lose and potentially
a huge amount to gain.Copy !req
470. Guys, this is madness.Copy !req
471. I have nothing to hide.Copy !req
472. I hear you, and yet...Copy !req
473. I'd like to look at my phone.Copy !req
474. Sure. Suit yourself.Copy !req
475. - Swipe.
- Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
476. Unlock.Copy !req
477. You sure you don't care?Copy !req
478. Does it look like I care?Copy !req
479. Okay.Copy !req
480. Fuck!Copy !req
481. What the fuck!Copy !req
482. You dick!Copy !req
483. - Give me the phone.
- Dinesh...Copy !req
484. - Give it to me.
- You are not thinking clearly.Copy !req
485. Sorry.Copy !req
486. Looks like we both lose.Copy !req
487. I don't think so.Copy !req
488. How do you figure?Copy !req
489. 'Cause now I know you had some
embarrassing shit to hide.Copy !req
490. I don't even need to know what it is.Copy !req
491. My phone may be in the toilet, but I win.Copy !req
492. No, you don't.Copy !req
493. 'Cause you'll never know what was on there.Copy !req
494. And that will slowly drive you down
a dark path and torment youCopy !req
495. so that every fiber...Copy !req
496. Nuh-uh! I win. I win. I win. I win.Copy !req
497. I win!Copy !req
498. I win!Copy !req
499. Shut up, Jared.Copy !req
500. Last night.Copy !req
501. Yeah.Copy !req
502. - Last night was...
- Bad.Copy !req
503. - Bad. Bad. Yeah.
- Yeah, it was bad.Copy !req
504. Bad. Yeah. It was such a bad thing
to have done.Copy !req
505. Worst sex I think I've ever had by far.Copy !req
506. Oh! So it was bad for you, too.Copy !req
507. Yeah. I mean it was just all elbows.Copy !req
508. I mean, how many times did our teeth clink?Copy !req
509. Uh, too many. Too many.Copy !req
510. - You know?
- Too many.Copy !req
511. And you move your head a lot.Copy !req
512. - Well, passion.
- None, right?Copy !req
513. I know, and, like, right out of the gate.Copy !req
514. When I took my top off
and you actually said the word "gulp."Copy !req
515. - I said it? Out loud?
- Yeah. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
516. Okay, well, mistake on my part.Copy !req
517. As bad as it was, you
know, and it was bad...Copy !req
518. - Um...
- Okay.Copy !req
519. Really awful.Copy !req
520. - I get it.
- I just...Copy !req
521. If there's an upside to any of this,
it would be that I realize nowCopy !req
522. what I have in Dan.Copy !req
523. Silver lining. So that's nice.Copy !req
524. Listen, I can't do this anymore.
This, what we...Copy !req
525. So I just wanna, if we could just
close the deal, be done with it,Copy !req
526. and if it's okay with Dan,
it's fine with me. So...Copy !req
527. Good. Okay.Copy !req
528. Okay. So I will come back and get my stuff
when you're gone.Copy !req
529. - No, I'm just gonna...
- So...Copy !req
530. The door.Copy !req
531. - I was born to roam anyways, so...
- Yeah.Copy !req
532. Richard!Copy !req
533. Liz just told me.Copy !req
534. - She did.
- Yup.Copy !req
535. And if it's fine with her,
then I guess the deal's fine with me.Copy !req
536. So, it's approved.Copy !req
537. - Good.
- I'll ride down with you.Copy !req
538. Oh, you don't have to. Okay.Copy !req
539. Listen,Copy !req
540. it goes without saying,Copy !req
541. but Liz can never find out about that
whole thing between us.Copy !req
542. Okay. Yup.Copy !req